You can’t tell how long you sat there in silence, back against the cold bathroom wall, getting knocked back and forth by both extremes of your own judgement.

One moment you’re cursing your own stupid bias against Equestrian ponies - So what if she‘s not human? She liked you! You liked her! You‘re letting the trivial fact that she‘s a pony destroy something special?!? - the next moment, you’re scolding yourself for even thinking about getting close to her - For Pete’s sake, she’s an animal that trots about on all fours and lives on a farm! If you had those kind of thoughts back home, you’d be banned from petting zoos!

You’re so thoughtless! How could you push her away? You love her!

You’re such a creep! How could you even consider kissing a horse?

You idiot! Go down those stairs and apologise! Hug her! Kiss her!

You weirdo! Get a leash for your damn libido, pervert!

Insensitive jerk!

Horse-humping freak!

Your internal thrashing is interrupted by three loud, solid thumping sounds on the bathroom door. Someone’s knocking. It’s most likely her again. You mustn’t have heard her approach.

“Applejack, please,” you call back as softly as you can muster, “I really need to sort my head out. Just leave me alone. Please.”

A low drawl of a voice responds. “It ain’t Applejack.”

“Big MacIntosh?” For a moment, you consider letting him in, since he‘s always been friendly towards you, if a little stoic. On the other hand, you just broke his little sister’s heart. He’s probably furious about that, but his usually indifferent speech pattern and almost unreadable face would make that difficult to know for sure. In the end, you stand yourself up on your two feet and unlock the door.

The two of you exchange silent looks in the doorway. What are you supposed to say to the brother of someone who you’ve just emotionally wrecked? His face shows signs of, just barely, a frown. That much is expected. He’s clearly noticed your reddened eyes by now, perhaps he won’t be too harsh on you. With a nod, you step aside from the door, granting him entrance.

“Couldn’t handle it, hmm?” Mac speaks using as little words to convey his message as possible, “What caused it? Too many eyes watching? She’s too different from your biped friends at home?”

“The amount of people- ponies watching didn’t help.” you close the lid of the toilet and use it as a makeshift seat, “But it’s not what caused it.”

“So it’s because she's a pony?” MacIntosh gets straight to the point.

You don’t answer immediately. You’re not too certain yourself. “Maybe, I don’t know!” and after a pause, “It wasn’t so much of her being a pony, as it was me not being able to see past her being a pony!”

“You’d love her if she were one of your kind?” his expression remains unchanged.

“I love her now, Mac!” you snap back, “I just can’t… express that. I’m not allowed to.”

MacIntosh, with as little words as always, “What’s stopping you?”

“Well for starters, it’s bestia-” you catch yourself with a realisation; in a world populated entirely by animals, such a word may not exist. Best explain it to him first. “There’s this thing we have in our world where we aren’t allowed to, you know, get too close with animals. It’s called bestiality.”

Ugh. Just saying that word makes you want to wash your mouth out. “And when I kissed Applejack back there, that was all I could think about. How wrong it was. And what did I do because of it? I ruined my chances with an individual who truly cared for me.” To you, that’s a hundred times worse. A real man would make sacrifices for that sort of love.

MacIntosh raises a hoof to his chin in thought for a moment, before matter-of-factly stating; “Ponies aren’t animals. They‘re ponies.”

“Huh?”

“Think about it. If Applejack and I are animals, what’s Wenona?”

You open your mouth to reply with ‘a dog’, but then something clicks in your head. Animals in Equestria are exactly that; animals. They don’t have complex thoughts or reasoning. They don’t own houses or run farms. They don’t build towns or have money systems. They don’t cook meals or read and write books.

Ponies in Equestria do all of those things. Because they’re not animals.

Of course! They’re not animals! Because they can’t be!

The confusion that raged in your mind seems to clear away. It‘s so simple. You and Applejack. You can see her again. Make up for the worry you put her through. You can hold her.

Perhaps you could finally kiss her. Without nausea. Without fear.

“I think I get it.” You tell MacIntosh, “It all seemed so… stupid of me. I’m sorry about earlier, Mac, I really don’t know what was going on.”

Big Mac shows the faintest of smiles. He’s done what he needed to do. “It ain’t me you want to apologise to.”

“You’re right, I have to talk to Applejack.” you head out of the bathroom door in due haste. You call out over your shoulder. “Thanks for helping me get my head together!”

“Eeyup!”

You scurry down the stairs, into the barn where your party was held and… stumble into a silent, forlorn atmosphere.

Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity are pulling the decorations down by themselves. Rainbow Dash lies head-down on the table, nearly motionless. As far as you can tell, all of them have reddened eyes.

Twilight, Spike and Applejack are nowhere to be found.

“What the hell happened here?” You ask to whoever’s willing to answer.

Rainbow Dash’s head rises off the table by the sound of your voice. Immediately, she turns to you and flares her wings in anger.

“You!” she spits venomously.

“Me? Argh!” In a split second, Dash shoots across the room and collides with you, knocking the wind out of your back, pinning you against the nearest wall. You can see the hate, the hurt, that boils behind her purple eyes.

“You made Applejack do this to herself!” she roars, “Gimme a reason why I shouldn’t buck you right in that ugly human face- Hey, leggo’ve me!”

A blue aura grabs Rainbow Dash, pulling her off you. Rarity’s magic holds her in place.

“Rainbow, be a dear and wait until after we’ve told him what’s happening before beating him to a pulp!” Telling by the tone of her voice, Rarity wasn’t pleased with whatever you did either.

“Where’s Applejack?” the first and most important thing on your mind.

“She’s gone with Twilight and Spike, back to the library!” Fluttershy whimpers, “We tried to talk Applejack out of it, but she refused to listen! She said it was the only way you’d love her back! They said they were going to look for a book on transfiguration to… to…”

Does… does me being a pony really irk you that much?

Applejack, I love living here on the farm with you. I love looking at the sunset with you, holding you. I love everything about you, and believe me, I would do so much for you. So much to you.

If only you were human.

A sharp thorn of panic shoots through you when you realise what’s happened. It knocks you dumbstruck for a few long seconds. Seconds that could be better spent preventing disaster. As you come to your senses, only one word can be heard echoing in your mind.

Run.