The first indication I had that something was seriously wrong was when I heard lightning strike outside of my house.

At ten o clock in the morning.

I cracked an eye open and reached towards my bedside table to find the weather schedule that I had been given by Rainbow Dash earlier that week. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and glanced down at it. Yep, my suspicions were correct. The next storm involving thunder and lightning wasn't for another two weeks. Somebody had messed up, and if the lightning struck any closer to my house I wouldn't be pleased.

Long story short, it was too early to be dealing with mistakes like this.

I grumbled minced oaths to myself as I got dressed, all the while worrying that I'd have to put out the fire from the lightning striking ever closer to my house. As I put my shoes on, I glanced out the window to see that not only was there lightning striking outside of my house, but it was also raining, snowing, and tornado clouds loomed on the horizon. Either Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie slipped something into the weather team's water supply again, or something nefarious was going on. I'd heard tales about Discord, and figured that this looked like something he would pull. It made me glad that I hadn't ever met him, but I seemed to be about to.

Well, with nothing better to do, I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and walked out of my house. I wasn't really sure who I was going to complain to, I hadn't been awake long enough for much rational thought, but gosh darn it, somebody was going to pay for this.

I woke up fully when lightning struck about thirty feet from me. I leaped back with a yelp, and put on a little more speed. Twilight had a direct hotline to Celestia, so I figured that she would be the obvious choice to at least have a few ideas about how to deal with this.

Well as it turned out, the weather over the half of Ponyville farthest from my house was actually quite nice. Not a cloud in the sky as far as the eye could see unless you turned around. I began walking in the direction of Twilight's house when I noticed something rather odd: the townsponies, a normally disturbingly chipper bunch, were all walking around with their heads low to the ground and venomous glowers on their faces.

Sheesh. Did everybody, including all of the stallions, go into heat at once?

Well, knowing that I would pay dearly for that joke if I said it aloud, I decided that it would be best to just keep my mouth shut and find Twilight. Once or twice I bumped into one of the Ponyville residents and received a death glare and a snarl for my efforts, which is why I was delighted to finally see Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash coming down the road. They had determined looks on their faces, and Twilight and Fluttershy were wearing their Elements of Harmony. For the first time that day, a smile crossed my face and I walked up to them.

"So, what went wrong this time?"

Twilight's determined smile was replaced with a look of slight annoyance, but she stopped in front of me. "Well, I accidentally cast a half-finished spell that Starswirl the Bearded created and now..." Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash, "my friends' destinies were switched."

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "What does that mean exactly?" I glanced down at Rainbow Dash's flank, something that isn't a habit for me, and my eyes widened when I saw not the usual cloud-slash-rainbow lightning bolt that normally makes up her cutie mark, but a trio of pink butterflies instead. I studied her new cutie mark for a few seconds before closing my eyes and facepalming.

"Only here," I mumbled. "How do things like this keep happening?"

"Good question," said Rainbow Dash, "but Twilight said that I have to help Rarity with something." She motioned over to the increasingly violent and unpredictable storm clouds over half of Ponyville. "I guess it's like what she did with Fluttershy that calmed the animals down."

I sighed and shook my head. "You know what? I don't even want to know." I moved beside the three of them. "It was Rarity that I wanted to talk to anyway, I suppose. Lightning is just about to hit my house. Or it already has. I'm not totally sure anymore."

Twilight's confident smile returned, and she pointed in the direction of the middle of the chaos. "Well then, it's up to us to show Rarity what her real destiny is!" She beckoned us onward. "Come on, girls and TD, it's time to fix this!"

I was about to speak, but I was cut off when Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash begin singing.

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need, a friend will be there to help you see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend!"

Sheesh.

The cheesy song abruptly stopped when we reached the outskirts of Ponyville and saw a massive storm swirling around in the sky. I could already guess that it was going to get out of control very quickly, but if Rarity was behind all of this, we needed to help her out and get this under control. By some unspoken agreement, the four of us braced ourselves and entered the madness.

We walked further into the increasingly violent gale, and I saw Rarity right in the thick of it, her horn shining brightly. The clouds overhead were bathed in her magical aura, and swirled around quite violently. It got to the point where I wondered whether or not a tornado was going to be formed. It was so violent that even the ponies seemed to be having trouble pushing through it. Rainbow had actually stopped flying and walked next to us. Twilight's horn was glowing to prevent her Element from flying away, and Fluttershy and Rainbow's manes almost looked like they were going to be torn from their scalps. As my hood had also blown off of my head, I noticed that the wind was violent enough that it kind of hurt, having the wind blow through my hair with that much power.

Twilight shouted out to Rarity to calm the storm, but her voice was lost in the howling wind. I stood right next to her and I didn't even hear it. Bits of debris from nearby houses and trees were starting to get caught up in the storm, making every second we stayed here far more dangerous. I looked down at Rainbow Dash who was looking nervously between the clouds and Rarity. Rarity was in the eye of the storm, so she was in no danger of being tossed around like a rag doll, but this could get out of control fast.

I knelt down net to Twilight and put my mouth next to her ear. "Twilight! We gotta get this done now! This is getting really dangerous!"

"I know!" she yelled back. "We just gotta reach Rarity and—"

Twilight's words were cut off when a piece of wood from a building slammed into the side of her head. She fell to the ground without a sound, and I only barely managed to catch her Element before it blew away. Fluttershy gasped and struggled to get over to Twilight, allowing me to move over to Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow Dash, you gotta destroy these clouds!"

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, and dug her hooves into the ground to keep herself from flying away. "I don't know if I can! It's not something I have much experience with!"

"Oh for the love of..." I stuffed Twilight's tiara into my hoodie pocket and zippered it up. "You just have to kick them! If you do they disperse! I'll get to Rarity and get her to stop using her magic!"

"I dunno, this storm is getting wild! I—"

Yeah I was past the point where I cared about her magical problem. I didn't have time to give her a pep talk, so I did the only reasonable thing. I reached down, picked Rainbow Dash up, and threw her as hard as I could. She spiraled out of control for a few seconds, but she deserved her reputation as one of the strongest and smartest fliers out there, so she quickly righted herself and flew into the clouds.

Content that she was dealing with her end, I pushed my way through the storm to Rarity, occasionally needing to dodge a piece of debris. "Rarity! You gotta power down your horn!" I yelled as I collapsed in front of her. "Rainbow Dash is dealing with this!"

"Oh, I don't know how this got so bad!" Rarity moaned. "Controlling weather is my special talent; it's my destiny!"

I scowled and put my mouth right next to Rarity's ear. "RARITY, POWER DOWN YOUR HORN!"

Rarity yelped in shock, and possibly pain, and flinched backwards. The shock was enough that she broke her concentration, and her horn powered down. Seeing my chance, I wrapped her up and grabbed her horn, giving Rainbow Dash time to clear the storm clouds. Rarity briefly tried to struggle out of my grasp, but she stopped when she saw the clouds begin to disperse. Within thirty seconds, the sky above Ponyville was completely cleared, and a battered Rainbow Dash landed next to us. I released Rarity and stood up.

"Okay. There you go."

Rainbow Dash fixed me with a scowl and tapped her hoof on the ground. "You threw me."

"Yep, and I'd do it again." I helped Rarity up and turned back to Fluttershy and Twilight. Fluttershy's mane was windswept, and she was still cradling an unconscious Twilight. I ran a hand through my own messy hair and led the other two over to Fluttershy and Twilight. "How is she?"

Fluttershy gently turned Twilight's head, revealing a large, bloody gash. "It isn't quite as bad as it looks. Head wounds bleed a lot more than others, but it's not too deep. We should get her to Redheart once this is over to check on her. Being unconscious can be pretty bad." Fluttershy stroked Twilight's mane, moving the hair away from the gash. "We'd still better put some pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding until then."

I looked around for something to make into a bandage, but nobody else was around and I doubted that sticks would make for good materials to stop the blood flow. I groaned, but I took off my hoodie and shirt so that I could tear a strip off of my shirt. I handed it to Fluttershy who tied it tightly around Twilight's head. I looked back to Rarity to see if she was okay, but stopped when I saw her sitting down and crying.

"I don't know how it got so out of control!" she sobbed. "I... I was making patterns with the w-weather and moving the clouds around when it started getting violent. I think I moved the clouds around too quickly. I kept casting spells to disperse them, b-but it just kept getting worse!"

Rainbow Dash wrapped a wing around Rarity's shoulders, allowing her to lean on Rainbow's shoulder. I slipped my hoodie and shirt back over me. The feeling of something metal in my pocket reminded me that I still had Twilight's Element. I took it out and motioned to Fluttershy's. "So, why are you guys wearing your Elements? Is there some big evil that you're going to have to defeat after this?"

Fluttershy continued stroking Twilight's mane and shook her head. "No. Twilight thought that we'd remember our destinies with them after we did what we used to do before this."

I nodded slightly and looked over to see Spike running towards Twilight from a nearby hiding spot. He was carrying an ornate box in his claws which I assumed had the Elements inside of them. He dropped the box when he reached Twilight, and wrapped her forelegs in a hug. I walked over to the box and flipped it open. Yep. Screwed up Elements of Harmony in here.

I reached inside and picked up Rainbow Dash's Element. The jewel on the front was the pink of Fluttershy's mane, which made sense considering she had Fluttershy's cutie mark. I walked over to Rainbow Dash and offered it to her. "I think this will help. I'm not sure, but I'd put this on."

Rainbow Dash nodded and stood up, allowing Rarity to put the necklace on her. Instantly she was raised into the air and her body was bathed in a bright red glow. The jewel on the front reverted back to its original red, something that made me feel a little better.

I took a deep breath and surveyed the ponies, and dragon, in front of me. I crossed my arms and a small smiled played at my lips. "Guys, I think I've figured out what to do now."

The others smiled at me and nodded. "I think I have too, darling," said Rarity.

The next hour or so was spent running around Ponyville, trying to get each Element back to their normal selves while I carried a still unconscious Twilight over my shoulders. Rarity's boutique was our next stop, where Applejack was making... nightmares. Yeah, that sounds about right to me. I was surprised that Rarity didn't vomit at the sight of something like that in her boutique, but we managed to get things back to something resembling the way it used to be. I suspected that Rarity planned to burn the things that Applejack made later.

Applejack's farm was next. Somehow over the course of four hours it went from a fertile land to looking like Scar from The Lion King had taken over. Just as barren for just as inexplicable a reason. I mean, Big Mac, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom didn't stop Pinkie from doing all of this? Of course, Applejack was there to kick plot and buck apples, and there wouldn't be any apples on those trees for quite a while. Thankfully for Pinkie Pie, Applejack was a forgiving pony, and soon we had her Element repaired as well.

Pinkie's Element was a quick fix. Just give her glasses for a reference that not even she would get. I guess Groucho Marx is funny enough that his fake glasses transcend dimensions.

Well, makes sense to me.

Finally, we made it back to Twilight's library home. I'd spent the entire ordeal carrying her, only stopping every once in a while so Fluttershy could check on her. She seemed to be doing well, and actually started to regain consciousness once we got back inside. I carried her up to her bed and gently laid her down while Fluttershy pulled a blanket over her.

"Wha... what happened?" Twilight groaned.

"You got hit with some wood," I explained. I motioned over to her friends, all of whom were wearing their repaired Elements. "We've been going around Ponyville fixing everything. I carried you to make sure you were okay."

Twilight gave me a weak smile and brought a hoof up to her head. "Thanks, TD. You're a good friend." Twilight's eyes suddenly widened, and she shot up in bed, a slight eye twitch being the only indication that the action hurt. "Where's my Element?!"

I reached into my hoodie pocket and produced said Element. "Kept it safe for you. Don't worry."

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back on the bed. "Thank you, TD."

"Well, I couldn't let Equestria's most valuable defense blow away in the wind, could I?" I joked.

"So why were you out in the middle of the storm today anyway, TD?" Twilight asked. "I didn't figure you for the type to do something like that."

I smirked and let out a quiet scoff. "I actually came into town to file a complaint. Lightning struck by my house ahead of schedule, so I wanted to find somebody who could fix it."

"That sounds like the TD I know," said Twilight. I raised my eyebrow at her, and a small scowl crossed my face. Twilight chuckled lightly. "Only joking, TD."

I shrugged. "I guess I can be a little ornery." I took a deep breath and looked down at the table downstairs. "So you said that you were working on some kind of spell that went wrong?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah. An old Starswirl the Bearded spell. Princess Celestia sent it to me so that I could finish it for her." Twilight's gaze trailed to the ground and her ears flattened. "I guess that I didn't do quite as well as I had hoped."

"Is it that book just on the table?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I nudged Rarity aside and walked down the stairs to collect the book. I returned to Twilight and flipped it open to one of the back pages. "Not gonna lie, I'm curious as to what kind of spell would cause all of this to happen." I scanned the spell, hoping to discern something interesting from it, but it was just a bunch of magic mumbo-jumbo to me. I shrugged and closed the book. "So what are you going to do now? How are you going to finish the spell?"

Twilight sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know, TD. What's worse is that Princess Celestia is counting on me!"

"I'm sure she will be sympathetic to your situation, Twilight." Rarity's ears flattened. "Even if I was the cause of that situation."

"Aw shucks, girl. It wasn't you," said Applejack. putting a hoof on Rarity's back. "We were all a little wacky for a while there."

Pinkie Pie's trademark grin had not faded this entire time, and she began bouncing up and down. "And we got through together—"

"Wait, wait, don't tell me," I snarked. "As friends?" I snorted in amusement and rolled my eyes. "Friendship is magic to you guys, isn't it?"

Twilight chuckled. "Oh come on, TD. You've seen it too, right?" Twilight reached out and placed a hoof on my arm. "You braved a storm to help save Rarity and all of Ponyville. You helped me when I got injured."

"I picked up Rainbow Dash and bodily threw her into the air."

"Exactl—" Twilight faltered as my words registered to her, but she continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "TD, even if you don't like it here, I don't think that you can deny that we have become friends. Would any other kind of person brave a storm like that? You could have walked away to get help, but you put yourself in harm's way to help us all, then took care of me when I was vulnerable."

"Well, Fluttershy did too."

"I know, but we're talking about you right now." Twilight's smile widened. "A true, true friend helps a friend indee—"

I frowned and clamped her muzzle shut. "Nope. Nope, you're not going into a song while I'm here. Plus, I get the idea."

Twilight glared at me until I released her muzzle. "I wasn't going to start singing, you know." I shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I think that you're our friend. Don't you?"

I scowled and crossed my arms, looking pointedly at the ceiling. However, my lack of denial was an affirmation to them, and when I looked down after a few seconds I could see them all smiling at me.

"We know you'd still go home if you had the chance, TD," said Rarity, "but I for one find myself honored to be your friend."

"Okay, so maybe I can see why you think friendship is magic," I muttered. Blegh. I wanted to wash my mouth out with soap for saying that, but given the context I couldn't quite deny it. I sighed and looked back at Twilight who was perusing the notebook with the spell in it. If the frown and the fact that she wasn't blinking was any indication, she was deep in thought. "See anything you like, Twilight?"

"Well I can't help but feel that what happened is the key to unlocking all of this," Twilight muttered. "I mean..." Twilight's eyes lit up, and she let out a loud gasp. "I understand now! The cutie marks, friendship is magic, I think I finally get it!"

"Goodie," I mumbled. "Just so long as one of us does."

Twilight's horn ignited and a quill was levitated over to her. However, her magic sputtered out, and she gasped in pain, clutching at her head. "Guess I got hit harder than I thought," she said through clenched teeth.

I picked up the quill and notebook. "Just dictate."

Twilight took a few seconds for the pain in her head to die down before turning her head to me. "From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"

Oh how I wish that I had stayed in bed that morning. Things wouldn't have gone quite so wrong. I don't know what it was: the fact that I wrote down the spell, the fact that I'd—blegh—learned a friendship lesson and admitted to myself that I might actually like these ponies, or fate decided that I would be a fun target... again, but the second I put the period down, Twilight's horn ignited. The Element of Magic lifted itself onto her head and began to glow. I tossed the quill and notebook down on the bed and backed away.

"Uh, was it supposed to do that?"

None of the other ponies answered. They were all looking down at their own Elements which were all glowing as well. I admit, I thought that somebody was going to get turned to stone or that they were going to use the Elements to turn me "good." I was the only person in the room that the Elements would need to blast, I guess. Unless Spike was up to some stuff I didn't know about.

Well, despite all of that, I was still surprised and more than a little freaked out when I saw that bright beams of pure energy began shooting out of the Elements.

Right. Towards. Me.

I didn't even have time to scream in terror before all of the beams converged on me, trapping me in a dome of white energy. I only had enough clarity to process one thought before my likely doom.

Huh.

For a few seconds the light became so bright that I had to squeeze my eyes shut and cover them with my hands. I thought for sure that I would come out of this blind, if I came out of it at all.

Just as quickly as the light and the beams and the terror began, they stopped. Okay, maybe not the terror, but I wasn't getting blasted by rainbows anymore. The thought occurred to me that I should open my eyes to see just what the pony afterlife looked like because yeah, I could fell that I wasn't in the library anymore. Turns out it looked rather like I was inside one of those default screensavers on old computers. It kind of had a foggy, starry look going on, but I still was able to walk around like there was solid ground beneath me.

I sighed and shook my head. "Well, I suppose I could have had a worse death." I scoffed and, despite myself, I smiled slightly. "I know this makes me a bad person, but I'd love to see the looks on their faces when they realize what they did."

Yeah, it did make me a bad person. But hey, I was dead. I deserved some more mischievous thoughts.

My smile fell and I stared out into the blank expanse that was... wherever I was. I couldn't see anything concrete in either direction, so I decided to begin walking until something happened. Hopefully sooner rather than later. It wasn't more than a few seconds before I saw something coming towards me in the fog. Something white, tall, and with ethereal hair. The form of Princess Celestia materialized in front of me, grinning like I had never seen before.

"Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you—" Her smile evaporated and she began choking on air when she saw one of the beings in the universe who was pretty much not Twilight on almost every level. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "T-TD?"

"Uh-huh." My face hardened into a slight glare. "Come to escort me to pony heaven or hell?"

"I do not..." Her left eye twitched. "How...?"

'I assume I'm dead, right? Being blasted by the Elements does that to a guy."

"I... I..." That's when Princess Celestia literally collapsed onto her haunches and stared open mouthed at the ground. "I do not understand. How could you be here?"

"It's nice to see you too, Celestia," I snarked. "You're so glad to be rid of me that you're escorting me to hell personally, yeah?"

Celestia blinked a few more times, but she finally looked up at me. "TD, you're not dead."

"Really?" I looked around at the... well, nothing around me. "Because I wouldn't call myself alive either."

"You are very much alive, TD." Celestia got to her hooves and cleared her throat. "TD, it is imperative that you tell me exactly what happened today. Leave out no details!"

I sighed, but realized that I didn't really have any other options here. I started off with the lightning near my house and rambled from there. I told her about the storm, carrying Twilight around, fixing the Elements, and writing that spell for her. She tried to keep her face carefully neutral, but her eyes betrayed her. She was freaking out.

When I finished my story, Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. "I cannot believe it. I did not believe such a thing could be possible. This is not your destiny!"

"Yeah, because I've never been thrust into a completely alien experience with no way to undo it."

Celestia opened her eyes and fixed me with a stare that reminded me very much of being x-rayed. I could see her jaw tighten, and the cogs working in her head. It was a good five awkward minutes before she spoke again. "I do not know how you came to be here, but I know that I cannot leave you here." Celestia motioned around with a wing. "This place is the one where all points converge. Even I do not know all of its mysteries. I can indeed lead you to the afterlife from here, but I assume you do not wish for that to be."

"Duh."

"I thought not." Celestia's gaze left me, and she stared behind me at more blank expanse. "The only way for you now is forwards. There is no going back, I'm afraid."

That doesn't sound ominous at all

"And what does forwards mean?" I asked suspiciously, wondering if I shouldn't start running or something.

Celestia stayed silent, but she raised herself into the air, spreading her wings out to their full extent. I took a step backwards, but I felt something come out of my chest. A ball of green energy that I assumed was my soul shot out and expanded until it surrounded me. I swung at it, hoping that it would disperse, but instead it enveloped me in yet another ball of white light. This time, it was softer, but still just as bright. I didn't feel like it would blind me this time.

It was only a few more seconds before it too faded away. My eyes were still closed, but the atmosphere around me was more recognizable. The cool wind and clean air made me realize that I was in Ponyville again.

"Whoa, who is that?!" cried Pinkie Pie's voice. "I've never seen her before!"

"She just appeared out of nowhere!" said Rarity. "Do you think...? No, that's preposterous."

Needless to say, I wasn't really looking forward to what I would see when I opened my eyes. I knew it had to be done, though. Slowly I opened them, revealing to me that I was sitting on the grass in front of Twilight's library. The Mane Six and Spike were all staring at me with expressions ranging from apprehension to fear.

"Hey guys," I said. "Uh... surprise."

"It is," Rarity whispered.

"TD?" said Twilight. "Is... is that you?"

"Uh-huh." I looked between all of them. "I take it I shouldn't ask what's different about me?"

None of them answered, so I figured out that I had better just look myself. With great reluctance, I looked down at my body.

The first thing I noticed were the fur and hooves. I was covered in fur that can only be described as a light peach color. I felt something jutting out of my forehead and reached up to feel the horn on top of my head. I looked up and saw that my hair was a red-orange color. To complete the picture, I felt my new set of wings fluttering behind me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and bowed my head. "Dammit. If I must say it: dammit."

I heard a flash behind me and figured that Celestia had appeared again. Twilight's reaction confirmed that. "Princess Celestia! What's going on? I don't understand!"

"Neither do I, Twilight," Celestia admitted.

"But he's an alicorn now!" said Twilight.

"He looks like a princess," said Rainbow Dash.

"That's because he is." I felt a hoof on my shoulder. "Right?"

Wait.

Oh no. No, no, no. Anything but that!

With great reluctance, I looked down and peered between my hind legs. I groaned, put my head in my ha— hooves and nodded. "Yep. Princess." I sighed again.

"Right. I amend my previous statement. TD looks like a princess because she is."

My eyes snapped open and I turned my head to glare at Celestia. I got to my fee— hooves, and walked up to her. I was her size now, so I knew I could do what I planned. I know I shouldn't have done it, but the "she" thing really was the straw that broke the new alicorn's back.

Yep, I punched her in the face again.

The Mane Six gasped and Twilight ignited her horn. However, Celestia put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder and shook her head. Twilight begrudgingly powered her horn down, allowing Celestia to deal with me. "TD, you have done that three times now. I must ask you why you never expected retaliation."

"Luna snapped my spine and Twilight crashed me through the wall," I said flatly. "If that isn't retaliation, I don't know what is."

Celestia's eyes narrowed and she took a step towards me.

"I meant from me."

With that ominous statement, she drew her hoof back and punched me in the face.

Author's Notes:

I hope TD's transformation into an alicorn princess wasn't too stereotypical of the HiE genre and contrived, (but really, how often does it happen anyway?) but it's not about that anyway. Trust me when I say it was better than some of my other, really contrived ideas.

Plus, it's TD. It's not like he wanted it to happen.

And yes, this will have character development. TD's Alicornization (a word I don't really have the opportunity to use that often) isn't just for three chapters of cheap laughs. Sure I ended it on a humorous note, but TD's actually going to have a character. He's still TD.