TD the Alicorn Princess

by BronyWriter

First published 10th of August, 2013

TD becomes an alicorn princess

TD, the human first seen in No, I am NOT a Brony, GET ME OUTTA EQUESTRIA!!! has been in Equestria for a little over a year now and he's just beginning to fully adjust to his life there. However, when he wakes up one morning to discover that five of the Mane Six have switched cutie marks, he endures a significant change when he helps them out.

He is less than pleased.

Edited wonderfully by Strike89

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This Is Why You Go Back to Bed When The Day Gets Weird

The first indication I had that something was seriously wrong was when I heard lightning strike outside of my house.

At ten o clock in the morning.

I cracked an eye open and reached towards my bedside table to find the weather schedule that I had been given by Rainbow Dash earlier that week. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and glanced down at it. Yep, my suspicions were correct. The next storm involving thunder and lightning wasn't for another two weeks. Somebody had messed up, and if the lightning struck any closer to my house I wouldn't be pleased.

Long story short, it was too early to be dealing with mistakes like this.

I grumbled minced oaths to myself as I got dressed, all the while worrying that I'd have to put out the fire from the lightning striking ever closer to my house. As I put my shoes on, I glanced out the window to see that not only was there lightning striking outside of my house, but it was also raining, snowing, and tornado clouds loomed on the horizon. Either Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie slipped something into the weather team's water supply again, or something nefarious was going on. I'd heard tales about Discord, and figured that this looked like something he would pull. It made me glad that I hadn't ever met him, but I seemed to be about to.

Well, with nothing better to do, I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and walked out of my house. I wasn't really sure who I was going to complain to, I hadn't been awake long enough for much rational thought, but gosh darn it, somebody was going to pay for this.

I woke up fully when lightning struck about thirty feet from me. I leaped back with a yelp, and put on a little more speed. Twilight had a direct hotline to Celestia, so I figured that she would be the obvious choice to at least have a few ideas about how to deal with this.

Well as it turned out, the weather over the half of Ponyville farthest from my house was actually quite nice. Not a cloud in the sky as far as the eye could see unless you turned around. I began walking in the direction of Twilight's house when I noticed something rather odd: the townsponies, a normally disturbingly chipper bunch, were all walking around with their heads low to the ground and venomous glowers on their faces.

Sheesh. Did everybody, including all of the stallions, go into heat at once?

Well, knowing that I would pay dearly for that joke if I said it aloud, I decided that it would be best to just keep my mouth shut and find Twilight. Once or twice I bumped into one of the Ponyville residents and received a death glare and a snarl for my efforts, which is why I was delighted to finally see Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash coming down the road. They had determined looks on their faces, and Twilight and Fluttershy were wearing their Elements of Harmony. For the first time that day, a smile crossed my face and I walked up to them.

"So, what went wrong this time?"

Twilight's determined smile was replaced with a look of slight annoyance, but she stopped in front of me. "Well, I accidentally cast a half-finished spell that Starswirl the Bearded created and now..." Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash, "my friends' destinies were switched."

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "What does that mean exactly?" I glanced down at Rainbow Dash's flank, something that isn't a habit for me, and my eyes widened when I saw not the usual cloud-slash-rainbow lightning bolt that normally makes up her cutie mark, but a trio of pink butterflies instead. I studied her new cutie mark for a few seconds before closing my eyes and facepalming.

"Only here," I mumbled. "How do things like this keep happening?"

"Good question," said Rainbow Dash, "but Twilight said that I have to help Rarity with something." She motioned over to the increasingly violent and unpredictable storm clouds over half of Ponyville. "I guess it's like what she did with Fluttershy that calmed the animals down."

I sighed and shook my head. "You know what? I don't even want to know." I moved beside the three of them. "It was Rarity that I wanted to talk to anyway, I suppose. Lightning is just about to hit my house. Or it already has. I'm not totally sure anymore."

Twilight's confident smile returned, and she pointed in the direction of the middle of the chaos. "Well then, it's up to us to show Rarity what her real destiny is!" She beckoned us onward. "Come on, girls and TD, it's time to fix this!"

I was about to speak, but I was cut off when Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash begin singing.

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need, a friend will be there to help you see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend!"

Sheesh.

The cheesy song abruptly stopped when we reached the outskirts of Ponyville and saw a massive storm swirling around in the sky. I could already guess that it was going to get out of control very quickly, but if Rarity was behind all of this, we needed to help her out and get this under control. By some unspoken agreement, the four of us braced ourselves and entered the madness.

We walked further into the increasingly violent gale, and I saw Rarity right in the thick of it, her horn shining brightly. The clouds overhead were bathed in her magical aura, and swirled around quite violently. It got to the point where I wondered whether or not a tornado was going to be formed. It was so violent that even the ponies seemed to be having trouble pushing through it. Rainbow had actually stopped flying and walked next to us. Twilight's horn was glowing to prevent her Element from flying away, and Fluttershy and Rainbow's manes almost looked like they were going to be torn from their scalps. As my hood had also blown off of my head, I noticed that the wind was violent enough that it kind of hurt, having the wind blow through my hair with that much power.

Twilight shouted out to Rarity to calm the storm, but her voice was lost in the howling wind. I stood right next to her and I didn't even hear it. Bits of debris from nearby houses and trees were starting to get caught up in the storm, making every second we stayed here far more dangerous. I looked down at Rainbow Dash who was looking nervously between the clouds and Rarity. Rarity was in the eye of the storm, so she was in no danger of being tossed around like a rag doll, but this could get out of control fast.

I knelt down net to Twilight and put my mouth next to her ear. "Twilight! We gotta get this done now! This is getting really dangerous!"

"I know!" she yelled back. "We just gotta reach Rarity and—"

Twilight's words were cut off when a piece of wood from a building slammed into the side of her head. She fell to the ground without a sound, and I only barely managed to catch her Element before it blew away. Fluttershy gasped and struggled to get over to Twilight, allowing me to move over to Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow Dash, you gotta destroy these clouds!"

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, and dug her hooves into the ground to keep herself from flying away. "I don't know if I can! It's not something I have much experience with!"

"Oh for the love of..." I stuffed Twilight's tiara into my hoodie pocket and zippered it up. "You just have to kick them! If you do they disperse! I'll get to Rarity and get her to stop using her magic!"

"I dunno, this storm is getting wild! I—"

Yeah I was past the point where I cared about her magical problem. I didn't have time to give her a pep talk, so I did the only reasonable thing. I reached down, picked Rainbow Dash up, and threw her as hard as I could. She spiraled out of control for a few seconds, but she deserved her reputation as one of the strongest and smartest fliers out there, so she quickly righted herself and flew into the clouds.

Content that she was dealing with her end, I pushed my way through the storm to Rarity, occasionally needing to dodge a piece of debris. "Rarity! You gotta power down your horn!" I yelled as I collapsed in front of her. "Rainbow Dash is dealing with this!"

"Oh, I don't know how this got so bad!" Rarity moaned. "Controlling weather is my special talent; it's my destiny!"

I scowled and put my mouth right next to Rarity's ear. "RARITY, POWER DOWN YOUR HORN!"

Rarity yelped in shock, and possibly pain, and flinched backwards. The shock was enough that she broke her concentration, and her horn powered down. Seeing my chance, I wrapped her up and grabbed her horn, giving Rainbow Dash time to clear the storm clouds. Rarity briefly tried to struggle out of my grasp, but she stopped when she saw the clouds begin to disperse. Within thirty seconds, the sky above Ponyville was completely cleared, and a battered Rainbow Dash landed next to us. I released Rarity and stood up.

"Okay. There you go."

Rainbow Dash fixed me with a scowl and tapped her hoof on the ground. "You threw me."

"Yep, and I'd do it again." I helped Rarity up and turned back to Fluttershy and Twilight. Fluttershy's mane was windswept, and she was still cradling an unconscious Twilight. I ran a hand through my own messy hair and led the other two over to Fluttershy and Twilight. "How is she?"

Fluttershy gently turned Twilight's head, revealing a large, bloody gash. "It isn't quite as bad as it looks. Head wounds bleed a lot more than others, but it's not too deep. We should get her to Redheart once this is over to check on her. Being unconscious can be pretty bad." Fluttershy stroked Twilight's mane, moving the hair away from the gash. "We'd still better put some pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding until then."

I looked around for something to make into a bandage, but nobody else was around and I doubted that sticks would make for good materials to stop the blood flow. I groaned, but I took off my hoodie and shirt so that I could tear a strip off of my shirt. I handed it to Fluttershy who tied it tightly around Twilight's head. I looked back to Rarity to see if she was okay, but stopped when I saw her sitting down and crying.

"I don't know how it got so out of control!" she sobbed. "I... I was making patterns with the w-weather and moving the clouds around when it started getting violent. I think I moved the clouds around too quickly. I kept casting spells to disperse them, b-but it just kept getting worse!"

Rainbow Dash wrapped a wing around Rarity's shoulders, allowing her to lean on Rainbow's shoulder. I slipped my hoodie and shirt back over me. The feeling of something metal in my pocket reminded me that I still had Twilight's Element. I took it out and motioned to Fluttershy's. "So, why are you guys wearing your Elements? Is there some big evil that you're going to have to defeat after this?"

Fluttershy continued stroking Twilight's mane and shook her head. "No. Twilight thought that we'd remember our destinies with them after we did what we used to do before this."

I nodded slightly and looked over to see Spike running towards Twilight from a nearby hiding spot. He was carrying an ornate box in his claws which I assumed had the Elements inside of them. He dropped the box when he reached Twilight, and wrapped her forelegs in a hug. I walked over to the box and flipped it open. Yep. Screwed up Elements of Harmony in here.

I reached inside and picked up Rainbow Dash's Element. The jewel on the front was the pink of Fluttershy's mane, which made sense considering she had Fluttershy's cutie mark. I walked over to Rainbow Dash and offered it to her. "I think this will help. I'm not sure, but I'd put this on."

Rainbow Dash nodded and stood up, allowing Rarity to put the necklace on her. Instantly she was raised into the air and her body was bathed in a bright red glow. The jewel on the front reverted back to its original red, something that made me feel a little better.

I took a deep breath and surveyed the ponies, and dragon, in front of me. I crossed my arms and a small smiled played at my lips. "Guys, I think I've figured out what to do now."

The others smiled at me and nodded. "I think I have too, darling," said Rarity.

The next hour or so was spent running around Ponyville, trying to get each Element back to their normal selves while I carried a still unconscious Twilight over my shoulders. Rarity's boutique was our next stop, where Applejack was making... nightmares. Yeah, that sounds about right to me. I was surprised that Rarity didn't vomit at the sight of something like that in her boutique, but we managed to get things back to something resembling the way it used to be. I suspected that Rarity planned to burn the things that Applejack made later.

Applejack's farm was next. Somehow over the course of four hours it went from a fertile land to looking like Scar from The Lion King had taken over. Just as barren for just as inexplicable a reason. I mean, Big Mac, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom didn't stop Pinkie from doing all of this? Of course, Applejack was there to kick plot and buck apples, and there wouldn't be any apples on those trees for quite a while. Thankfully for Pinkie Pie, Applejack was a forgiving pony, and soon we had her Element repaired as well.

Pinkie's Element was a quick fix. Just give her glasses for a reference that not even she would get. I guess Groucho Marx is funny enough that his fake glasses transcend dimensions.

Well, makes sense to me.

Finally, we made it back to Twilight's library home. I'd spent the entire ordeal carrying her, only stopping every once in a while so Fluttershy could check on her. She seemed to be doing well, and actually started to regain consciousness once we got back inside. I carried her up to her bed and gently laid her down while Fluttershy pulled a blanket over her.

"Wha... what happened?" Twilight groaned.

"You got hit with some wood," I explained. I motioned over to her friends, all of whom were wearing their repaired Elements. "We've been going around Ponyville fixing everything. I carried you to make sure you were okay."

Twilight gave me a weak smile and brought a hoof up to her head. "Thanks, TD. You're a good friend." Twilight's eyes suddenly widened, and she shot up in bed, a slight eye twitch being the only indication that the action hurt. "Where's my Element?!"

I reached into my hoodie pocket and produced said Element. "Kept it safe for you. Don't worry."

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back on the bed. "Thank you, TD."

"Well, I couldn't let Equestria's most valuable defense blow away in the wind, could I?" I joked.

"So why were you out in the middle of the storm today anyway, TD?" Twilight asked. "I didn't figure you for the type to do something like that."

I smirked and let out a quiet scoff. "I actually came into town to file a complaint. Lightning struck by my house ahead of schedule, so I wanted to find somebody who could fix it."

"That sounds like the TD I know," said Twilight. I raised my eyebrow at her, and a small scowl crossed my face. Twilight chuckled lightly. "Only joking, TD."

I shrugged. "I guess I can be a little ornery." I took a deep breath and looked down at the table downstairs. "So you said that you were working on some kind of spell that went wrong?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah. An old Starswirl the Bearded spell. Princess Celestia sent it to me so that I could finish it for her." Twilight's gaze trailed to the ground and her ears flattened. "I guess that I didn't do quite as well as I had hoped."

"Is it that book just on the table?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I nudged Rarity aside and walked down the stairs to collect the book. I returned to Twilight and flipped it open to one of the back pages. "Not gonna lie, I'm curious as to what kind of spell would cause all of this to happen." I scanned the spell, hoping to discern something interesting from it, but it was just a bunch of magic mumbo-jumbo to me. I shrugged and closed the book. "So what are you going to do now? How are you going to finish the spell?"

Twilight sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know, TD. What's worse is that Princess Celestia is counting on me!"

"I'm sure she will be sympathetic to your situation, Twilight." Rarity's ears flattened. "Even if I was the cause of that situation."

"Aw shucks, girl. It wasn't you," said Applejack. putting a hoof on Rarity's back. "We were all a little wacky for a while there."

Pinkie Pie's trademark grin had not faded this entire time, and she began bouncing up and down. "And we got through together—"

"Wait, wait, don't tell me," I snarked. "As friends?" I snorted in amusement and rolled my eyes. "Friendship is magic to you guys, isn't it?"

Twilight chuckled. "Oh come on, TD. You've seen it too, right?" Twilight reached out and placed a hoof on my arm. "You braved a storm to help save Rarity and all of Ponyville. You helped me when I got injured."

"I picked up Rainbow Dash and bodily threw her into the air."

"Exactl—" Twilight faltered as my words registered to her, but she continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "TD, even if you don't like it here, I don't think that you can deny that we have become friends. Would any other kind of person brave a storm like that? You could have walked away to get help, but you put yourself in harm's way to help us all, then took care of me when I was vulnerable."

"Well, Fluttershy did too."

"I know, but we're talking about you right now." Twilight's smile widened. "A true, true friend helps a friend indee—"

I frowned and clamped her muzzle shut. "Nope. Nope, you're not going into a song while I'm here. Plus, I get the idea."

Twilight glared at me until I released her muzzle. "I wasn't going to start singing, you know." I shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I think that you're our friend. Don't you?"

I scowled and crossed my arms, looking pointedly at the ceiling. However, my lack of denial was an affirmation to them, and when I looked down after a few seconds I could see them all smiling at me.

"We know you'd still go home if you had the chance, TD," said Rarity, "but I for one find myself honored to be your friend."

"Okay, so maybe I can see why you think friendship is magic," I muttered. Blegh. I wanted to wash my mouth out with soap for saying that, but given the context I couldn't quite deny it. I sighed and looked back at Twilight who was perusing the notebook with the spell in it. If the frown and the fact that she wasn't blinking was any indication, she was deep in thought. "See anything you like, Twilight?"

"Well I can't help but feel that what happened is the key to unlocking all of this," Twilight muttered. "I mean..." Twilight's eyes lit up, and she let out a loud gasp. "I understand now! The cutie marks, friendship is magic, I think I finally get it!"

"Goodie," I mumbled. "Just so long as one of us does."

Twilight's horn ignited and a quill was levitated over to her. However, her magic sputtered out, and she gasped in pain, clutching at her head. "Guess I got hit harder than I thought," she said through clenched teeth.

I picked up the quill and notebook. "Just dictate."

Twilight took a few seconds for the pain in her head to die down before turning her head to me. "From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"

Oh how I wish that I had stayed in bed that morning. Things wouldn't have gone quite so wrong. I don't know what it was: the fact that I wrote down the spell, the fact that I'd—blegh—learned a friendship lesson and admitted to myself that I might actually like these ponies, or fate decided that I would be a fun target... again, but the second I put the period down, Twilight's horn ignited. The Element of Magic lifted itself onto her head and began to glow. I tossed the quill and notebook down on the bed and backed away.

"Uh, was it supposed to do that?"

None of the other ponies answered. They were all looking down at their own Elements which were all glowing as well. I admit, I thought that somebody was going to get turned to stone or that they were going to use the Elements to turn me "good." I was the only person in the room that the Elements would need to blast, I guess. Unless Spike was up to some stuff I didn't know about.

Well, despite all of that, I was still surprised and more than a little freaked out when I saw that bright beams of pure energy began shooting out of the Elements.

Right. Towards. Me.

I didn't even have time to scream in terror before all of the beams converged on me, trapping me in a dome of white energy. I only had enough clarity to process one thought before my likely doom.

Huh.

For a few seconds the light became so bright that I had to squeeze my eyes shut and cover them with my hands. I thought for sure that I would come out of this blind, if I came out of it at all.

Just as quickly as the light and the beams and the terror began, they stopped. Okay, maybe not the terror, but I wasn't getting blasted by rainbows anymore. The thought occurred to me that I should open my eyes to see just what the pony afterlife looked like because yeah, I could fell that I wasn't in the library anymore. Turns out it looked rather like I was inside one of those default screensavers on old computers. It kind of had a foggy, starry look going on, but I still was able to walk around like there was solid ground beneath me.

I sighed and shook my head. "Well, I suppose I could have had a worse death." I scoffed and, despite myself, I smiled slightly. "I know this makes me a bad person, but I'd love to see the looks on their faces when they realize what they did."

Yeah, it did make me a bad person. But hey, I was dead. I deserved some more mischievous thoughts.

My smile fell and I stared out into the blank expanse that was... wherever I was. I couldn't see anything concrete in either direction, so I decided to begin walking until something happened. Hopefully sooner rather than later. It wasn't more than a few seconds before I saw something coming towards me in the fog. Something white, tall, and with ethereal hair. The form of Princess Celestia materialized in front of me, grinning like I had never seen before.

"Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you—" Her smile evaporated and she began choking on air when she saw one of the beings in the universe who was pretty much not Twilight on almost every level. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "T-TD?"

"Uh-huh." My face hardened into a slight glare. "Come to escort me to pony heaven or hell?"

"I do not..." Her left eye twitched. "How...?"

'I assume I'm dead, right? Being blasted by the Elements does that to a guy."

"I... I..." That's when Princess Celestia literally collapsed onto her haunches and stared open mouthed at the ground. "I do not understand. How could you be here?"

"It's nice to see you too, Celestia," I snarked. "You're so glad to be rid of me that you're escorting me to hell personally, yeah?"

Celestia blinked a few more times, but she finally looked up at me. "TD, you're not dead."

"Really?" I looked around at the... well, nothing around me. "Because I wouldn't call myself alive either."

"You are very much alive, TD." Celestia got to her hooves and cleared her throat. "TD, it is imperative that you tell me exactly what happened today. Leave out no details!"

I sighed, but realized that I didn't really have any other options here. I started off with the lightning near my house and rambled from there. I told her about the storm, carrying Twilight around, fixing the Elements, and writing that spell for her. She tried to keep her face carefully neutral, but her eyes betrayed her. She was freaking out.

When I finished my story, Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. "I cannot believe it. I did not believe such a thing could be possible. This is not your destiny!"

"Yeah, because I've never been thrust into a completely alien experience with no way to undo it."

Celestia opened her eyes and fixed me with a stare that reminded me very much of being x-rayed. I could see her jaw tighten, and the cogs working in her head. It was a good five awkward minutes before she spoke again. "I do not know how you came to be here, but I know that I cannot leave you here." Celestia motioned around with a wing. "This place is the one where all points converge. Even I do not know all of its mysteries. I can indeed lead you to the afterlife from here, but I assume you do not wish for that to be."

"Duh."

"I thought not." Celestia's gaze left me, and she stared behind me at more blank expanse. "The only way for you now is forwards. There is no going back, I'm afraid."

That doesn't sound ominous at all

"And what does forwards mean?" I asked suspiciously, wondering if I shouldn't start running or something.

Celestia stayed silent, but she raised herself into the air, spreading her wings out to their full extent. I took a step backwards, but I felt something come out of my chest. A ball of green energy that I assumed was my soul shot out and expanded until it surrounded me. I swung at it, hoping that it would disperse, but instead it enveloped me in yet another ball of white light. This time, it was softer, but still just as bright. I didn't feel like it would blind me this time.

It was only a few more seconds before it too faded away. My eyes were still closed, but the atmosphere around me was more recognizable. The cool wind and clean air made me realize that I was in Ponyville again.

"Whoa, who is that?!" cried Pinkie Pie's voice. "I've never seen her before!"

"She just appeared out of nowhere!" said Rarity. "Do you think...? No, that's preposterous."

Needless to say, I wasn't really looking forward to what I would see when I opened my eyes. I knew it had to be done, though. Slowly I opened them, revealing to me that I was sitting on the grass in front of Twilight's library. The Mane Six and Spike were all staring at me with expressions ranging from apprehension to fear.

"Hey guys," I said. "Uh... surprise."

"It is," Rarity whispered.

"TD?" said Twilight. "Is... is that you?"

"Uh-huh." I looked between all of them. "I take it I shouldn't ask what's different about me?"

None of them answered, so I figured out that I had better just look myself. With great reluctance, I looked down at my body.

The first thing I noticed were the fur and hooves. I was covered in fur that can only be described as a light peach color. I felt something jutting out of my forehead and reached up to feel the horn on top of my head. I looked up and saw that my hair was a red-orange color. To complete the picture, I felt my new set of wings fluttering behind me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and bowed my head. "Dammit. If I must say it: dammit."

I heard a flash behind me and figured that Celestia had appeared again. Twilight's reaction confirmed that. "Princess Celestia! What's going on? I don't understand!"

"Neither do I, Twilight," Celestia admitted.

"But he's an alicorn now!" said Twilight.

"He looks like a princess," said Rainbow Dash.

"That's because he is." I felt a hoof on my shoulder. "Right?"

Wait.

Oh no. No, no, no. Anything but that!

With great reluctance, I looked down and peered between my hind legs. I groaned, put my head in my ha— hooves and nodded. "Yep. Princess." I sighed again.

"Right. I amend my previous statement. TD looks like a princess because she is."

My eyes snapped open and I turned my head to glare at Celestia. I got to my fee— hooves, and walked up to her. I was her size now, so I knew I could do what I planned. I know I shouldn't have done it, but the "she" thing really was the straw that broke the new alicorn's back.

Yep, I punched her in the face again.

The Mane Six gasped and Twilight ignited her horn. However, Celestia put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder and shook her head. Twilight begrudgingly powered her horn down, allowing Celestia to deal with me. "TD, you have done that three times now. I must ask you why you never expected retaliation."

"Luna snapped my spine and Twilight crashed me through the wall," I said flatly. "If that isn't retaliation, I don't know what is."

Celestia's eyes narrowed and she took a step towards me.

"I meant from me."

With that ominous statement, she drew her hoof back and punched me in the face.

Author's Notes:

I hope TD's transformation into an alicorn princess wasn't too stereotypical of the HiE genre and contrived, (but really, how often does it happen anyway?) but it's not about that anyway. Trust me when I say it was better than some of my other, really contrived ideas.

Plus, it's TD. It's not like he wanted it to happen.

And yes, this will have character development. TD's Alicornization (a word I don't really have the opportunity to use that often) isn't just for three chapters of cheap laughs. Sure I ended it on a humorous note, but TD's actually going to have a character. He's still TD.

Emotional Connections

Oh it was on now.

The blow was admittedly more powerful than I thought, and my head snapped to the side as I stumbled backwards. I heard the Mane Six and Spike gasp. I glared up at Celestia, who had a hoof raised like she planned on hitting me again. I could see vague hints of what appeared to be rage in her eyes, but instead of hitting me again, she let out a deep, frustrated breath and lowered her hoof. "TD, I know this is shocking for you, and I'm sorry that I did that. You must understand that punching me repeatedly has consequences."

I regained my balance and fixed her with a fiery glare that was hopefully a new alicorn power that I could hurt her with. No such luck. Instead I shouted a war cry and rugby tackled her, knocking us both to the ground. I repeatedly slammed my hoof into her side. Her front hooves pressed against my chest, and she shoved me off. I went flying and, with a surprising amount of speed, she was on me in a second. She used one of her forelegs to hold my neck down, and pummeled my chest with her other hoof. I began flailing around, trying to get her off of me. Her strength meant that I couldn't wiggle away, but I managed to uppercut her. Her flinching gave me enough time an momentum to push her off with my hind hooves and roll to the side. Her hoof came down a fraction of a second too late to hit me, and it cracked the ground where it impacted.

Well as you may have guessed, the Sun Goddess of all of Equestria getting into a brutal fight with another alicorn that nobody had ever seen before drew some attention. A lot of it, actually. A crowd of wide-eyed, open mouthed ponies had gathered to watch a fight that both sides felt was a long time coming.

I tried to stand up to get some space to plan another attack, but Celestia returned my rugby tackle with one of her own. The force of her tackle knocked us backwards into one of the walls of the library. The whole building vibrated with the force of the impact, and I would be rather surprised it none of the books fell off the shelves.

Celestia began punching me right in the kidneys, but I punched her right where I think her ovaries would be. She flinched back, allowing me to get a few more shots there. She recovered quickly enough, and slammed both of her forehooves onto the sides of my head. I fell to the ground, clutching at where she made the impact. She stood over me, breathing heavily from our fight.

"As I said, TD. Punching me repeatedly has consequences. I must ask that we stop this."

The ringing in my head subsided, and I fixed her with another glare. "NEVER!"

Thus began round two.

I was ready for her blows to my head, so I knocked her hoof back whenever she tried and returned it with punches right in her mouth. To compensate, she moved to punching me in my soft underbelly. I forced myself to ignore the excruciating pain, and I kept hitting her in the face.

"Is this kinda hot to anybody else?" I heard one of the townsponies mutter.

"Yep," Spike replied quietly.

That stopped the fight for a second as both of us glared at the ones who had spoken. I growled at the townspony, who turned out to be Caramel, while Celestia leered at Spike. That must not have been very fun for him. First Celestia gets mad at him, then Twilight will probably chew him out for making Celestia mad. On top of that, Rarity will be hurt that he said something so boorish.

The lull in the fighting doesn't last too long, and I restarted it with the same double hoof slam that Celestia used on me. She squealed in pain, something that's odd to hear, let me tell you, and I punched her in the shoulders, hoping to disable her legs to gain a full advantage. She batted one of my hooves away, and we locked eyes for the first time since the fight began. I have to say, I had never seen her so angry. Her eyes were literally glowing white, and it was bright enough that I couldn't look into them.

"ENOUGH!"

Her Royal Canterlot Voice was more impressive than Luna's by far. For the first time since the fight began I felt a little nervous. Celestia's horn ignited, and I was thrown back into the library once again by the force of her spell. Yep, books definitely flew from the shelves that time. In fact, I even left a small impact crater.

I slid down on the ground, the pain in my back preventing me from moving. I groaned, but managed to look up at her. She was glaring at me with the intensity of a thousand suns, but I was satisfied when I saw that I had succeeded on some level: she was bruising. Purple and black marks were appearing underneath her pure white coat. I had no doubt that I had dozens of my own, but seeing her like this was very gratifying, even if she was about to obliterate me.

"TD, I expected better from you!" Celestia snarled. "I know that this is a shock to you. It is to me as well!" She stomped a few steps closer to me and powered down her horn. "This isn't the way to behave." Celestia sighed and closed her eyes, the fight draining from her. "However, I know that I didn't act in a manner befitting my royal status myself."

"I wouldn't worry about it," I said through clenched teeth. "We all have those moments of weakness." I slowly pushed myself to my hooves and raised my head to her level. "Though if you're going to be using magic, I am too!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and, with all of my mental might, I began channeling all of my energy into my new horn. Now, I imagined that I would produce a beam of magic that would send Celestia flying back to Canterlot. What I got instead was a few blue sparks.

"Oh come on!" I glared at my new horn. "How does this stupid thing work?"

"You're new to magic, TD," Celestia explained. I glanced over at her and saw the slightest of smirks on her face. "Learning magic takes time."

I scowled and flared out my new wings. "Whatever. This isn't over." I jumped into the air, expecting that my wings would carry me high in the sky and I could attack Celestia that way. I really should have learned that my expectations aren't always met, and I figured out what happens when you crash into the ground after a few feet. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Flight isn't natural, even with wings." Celestia gave me a sad smile and extended a hoof. "Come now, TD. Let's go to the library and discuss this like rational alicorns."

"I'm not a rational alicorn," I spat. I groaned and laid down on my side. "But I am an alicorn. Fine way to start out."

Celestia's hoof nudged my side, and I reluctantly took it. She pulled me up before turning to address the crowd. "I am sorry that this has just occurred, but Princess TD and I had some differences to work out."

Ever the politician, aren't you Celestia? And also don't call me that.

"As you can see, TD is now an alicorn princess by means unforeseeable to any. It is unknown at this time what that means exactly, but rest assured I will do everything in my power to make this unexpected event as smooth as possible for everypony."

"And if anybody even thinks about bowing to me I will raze Ponyville," I growled. "I mean it."

"Yep, that's TD alright," Mayor Mare muttered.

Celestia raised a hoof and motioned to the crowd. "I ask you now to return to your business. Princess TD and I have some things to discuss."

The crowd began murmuring amongst themselves, but they weren't exactly going to argue with the pony who raised the sun each morning. I began limping into the library, and I was satisfied to see that Celestia was doing the same. Twilight opened the door for us, and I was vaguely amused to see that she looked absolutely furious. Celestia and I entered first, and promptly sat on the ground when we were far enough inside. The floor was absolutely covered in books, but Celestia managed to use her magic to put them all back on the shelves.

Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six plus Spike all entered the library behind us. Twilight scanned the bookshelves, checking to see if they were all in the right place. If she didn't re-shelve later I would eat my wings. The rest of them had expressions on their faces ranging from awkwardness to plain old shock. Doubtlessly they had never seen Celestia like that before.

It was Celestia who cleared her throat to get the conversation going. "I imagine what has happened today has shocked all of you. Between TD's ascension and our little scuffle, things haven't quite gone how I had planned them."

"Understatement of the millennium," I snarked. I stared down at my new hooves and flapped my wings. "I mean geez, I woke up today as a human whose house was about to be struck by lightning and now I'm a female alicorn princess."

"I know this must be difficult, TD," Celestia said. "So I want us all to be as comfortable as possible before we delve into the heavy topics." Celestia turned to Twilight with a small smile on her face. "Twilight, I don't suppose you have any liquor around."

Twilight groaned and facehooved. "I never thought I'd say something like this to you of all ponies, but I'm not sharing my liquor with you!"

I raised an eyebrow and cocked my head. "You have alcohol here?"

"I drink a glass of scotch socially on occasion," said Twilight with a wave of her hoof. "That's not important right now. What is important is what I saw from both of you today." Twilight fixed Celestia with a sad stare, and flattened her ears. "I never thought that I'd see you like that. If you'll pardon me for saying so, it looked almost... animalistic. You two looked like lions fighting each other for a piece of meat." Twilight bowed her head. "I never thought you were capable of acting like that."

Celestia and I exchanged an awkward glance, and I lightly cleared my throat. "Uh, Twilight, if it makes you feel any better, I was the instigator and I kept it going. I think that she could argue self-defense."

Celestia held up a hoof and shook her head. "As much as I appreciate your attempts to repair my reputation, I erred as well, TD. I could have stopped that fight whenever I desired." Celestia fluttered her wings and poked at the ground. I have to say, it was odd seeing her in a position of vulnerability like that. She almost looked like a kid with her hoof in the cookie jar.

"Why would you do that?" Twilight alternated her looks between the two of us. "I mean, hitting you is just kinda something that TD does when he's past his breaking point, but why would you retaliate when you knew he wasn't a threat?"

"I suppose it was because I was scared." Twilight gasped softly, and Celestia looked back up at her. "I may regret saying this, but TD was not meant to ascend today. You were."

Twilight's jaw dropped, and her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She took a small step backwards. "M-me?"

"Indeed." Celestia spotted the journal on the bed and motioned over to it. "A lot of what you have accomplished has been leading up to this point. I had great plans for you, and I was excited to see what kind of pony you would be after became the Princess of Friendship." Celestia's gaze flickered over to me, and she sighed. "I suppose that when I saw TD I resented him a little. I felt that he had taken something important from me: you. When he hit me for a third time, I lost myself for a little while."

Despite the situation, I chuckled slightly and put a hoof on Celestia's shoulder. "It's okay. I've resented you since I came here." Celestia shot me a sideways glance, and my smile fell. "But I know it doesn't look like it, but I've been trying to get over it. I mean..." I spun my hoof. "It's not like you planned all of this for me. I just lose my temper sometimes and since my angry self blames you the most it comes out against you the most."

"I understand that, TD," said Celestia. "I know that my actions have not always benefited you."

"And I haven't always handled it the best." I sighed and ran a hoof through my hair... er... mane. "But I guess the question is: what now?"

Celestia pushed herself to her hooves, wincing slightly as she did. "I do not know. I think it might be prudent for you to come back to Canterlot with me so that we may discuss it with Luna."

Celestia looked over at Twilight who still looked absolutely shocked by what she had heard, but there seemed to be a hint of sadness in her eyes too. I don't think that I could have blamed her. This is a pretty big thing for her to miss out on. I motioned over to the other six in the room and jerked my head to the door. They silently nodded and filed out of the library. I left last and closed the door behind me.

I think that they needed some alone time, and what was going to be said was just for them.

So What Does This Mean?

Celestia and Twilight didn't come out of the library for a solid hour, during which the rest of the Mane Six and I chatted. They asked me what it was like to change genders and species. I told them that duh, I hated it. I explained to them what the mystical plane of existence, or whatever you want to call it, was like after they blasted me with the Elements. They listened on with interest, something that amused me. I vaguely wondered what Cheerilee and the foals would think of my ascension. I figured that I'd find out soon enough. My new look was likely already spreading across Equestria after my fight with Celestia.

Well, finally Celestia and Twilight came out. The rest of us had been sitting in relative silence for a few minutes before then. We looked up as they exited and gave Twilight our best smiles. She returned our smile, but her eyes betrayed both sadness and love for her friends. She knew that they would be there to support her. Heck, I'd be there to support her. I did not like the latest hand I had been dealt, but what made it worse was the fact that I had taken something from Twilight. Not something small either.

The two of us locked eyes and her left ear twitched slightly. I sighed quietly and my gaze traveled to the ground. I gently poked at the earth with my hoof. "I'm sorry, Twilight," I muttered. "If I could, I'd trade places with you in an instant." I motioned to my new body. "All of this is yours, not mine."

"It's okay, TD," said Twilight quietly. My gaze trailed back up to her and she was giving me a slightly forced smile. "I know this wasn't deliberate on your part. You're a good man... er, pony."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Okay, that's going to take some getting used to." I looked over at Celestia. "I mean, I assume you don't know any way to change me back?"

Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid not, TD. I am unsure of what changing your form back to a human would even accomplish. I may be able to create an illusion that you are a human, but not more than that."

Okay, she can't help me. That's not going to stop be from researching everything about transformation magic when I finally figure out how to use my new horn. I opt instead for a nod at the moment.

"I assume you have to take me to Canterlot now?"

"I'm afraid so." Celestia looked over at the shining city on the mountain. "Luna will need to be in on our discussion, a discussion that may very well change the political and social landscape of Equestria centuries to come."

"So no pressure for me," I snark.

"A new princess coming into Equestria tends to do that," Celestia admitted. "There are still ripples from Luna's return."

I motioned towards Canterlot. "Lead on then, I suppose. I gather that you have some sort of chariot waiting for us?"

"Indeed I do." Celestia turned her attention to the rest of the gathered group. "There may be a time in the near future where I will call you to Canterlot. I am unsure of when that may be, but I ask that you be ready. This new development may require your input."

I was surprised when Rarity of all ponies chuckled slightly. "I suppose you want me to make Princess TD's dress for her coronation."

I groaned and facehooved. "Rarity, there are so many things wrong with what you just said, I'm going to have to make a list for you later." My eyes briefly flickered over to Twilight. "Besides, I don't really want a big coronation. I'm not really sure I want a coronation at all."

"We shall discuss that with Luna," said Celestia. "Unfortunately I would rather it be sooner as opposed to later. This needs to be dealt with."

I guess I couldn't really argue with that. Heck, maybe Luna would know how to make it so that the powers of all three of us combined could turn me back into a human. Maybe even give my powers to Twilight. I'd gladly attend her coronation because then I wouldn't have taken one of the most important things ever from her. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't fix this, and neither could Celestia apparently. That didn't mean that we weren't going to have a long talk. Before I went, I turned my attention or Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.

"Uh, listen. About your sisters and sister figures, don't tell them yet, okay? I'm not sure they'd really know how to handle it."

"Sure thing, TD." Applejack turned her head in the direction of the schoolhouse. "School should be out soon. Ah don't think the foals know what happened."

"Good." I turned my head in the same direction. "I'd rather keep it that way for as long as reasonably possible." A weak smile crossed my face. "I don't know how they would react to the knowledge that I got in a fistfight with a goddess."

"Well, technically I did too," Celestia pointed out.

One of my new, more expressive ears twitched, but I otherwise decided not to comment. I said one final round of goodbyes before following Celestia back to her chariot. It was the same thing I had seen her in before. A gold chariot with two pairs of pegasi pulling it. She motioned for me to step on first, and I did the same. It was her danged chariot after all. I wasn't going to be chivalrous about this. A thin frown crossed her face, and once again she motioned for me to get in the chariot first. I replied with a copying motion.

"Must we do this, TD?"

"Is me getting on first that important to you?"

Celestia rolled her eyes and stepped onto her transportation. "As you like it."

I nodded and stepped on beside her. The team of pegasi extended their wings and, with a few mighty flaps, we were airborne. I admit, I was nervous going up so high. My Equestrian travel experiences had pretty much been limited to the train and my legs. Rainbow Dash hadn't even tried to give me a ride on her back so I could see what it was like. Not that I would have accepted anyway. From this high up, though, I could see for miles around. The cool air whipped through my mane, which admittedly felt pretty nice. It wasn't too cold at this altitude. Either that or my new fur kept me warm. Still, if I fell I couldn't really just fly back on. Celestia would have to catch me and that would be all kinds of awkward.

The first fifteen minutes of the trip were relatively silent. Neither of us cared for small talk in a situation like this. Still, we had to get a few things straight before we landed in Canterlot.

"So..." Celestia turned her head to me with a raised eyebrow. "Is my, bleugh, mane going to be all flowy and ethereal like yours or do I get to keep the mane that was my hair color before all of this?" I poked at my new hair, wondering if Rarity wouldn't offer to fix it up for me. It was just completely straight and ended just above my shoulders.

"If I had to guess..." Celestia frowned and stared at my hair as if she was studying it. "Yes. I think it will. I know that Luna and I had plain, solid manes at the beginning of our lives."

"Yeah? When was that?"

A wry smile crossed Celestia's face and she quietly chuckled. "Far longer than I'd care to admit, TD. Thousands upon thousands of years." Celestia shook her head and waved her hoof. "That is not important now. What is important is what kind of princess you will be. I assume that the Princess of Friendship is out for you."

"Yep. I just..." I hesitated briefly and looked down at the ground flying by below us. "I was only really interested in teaching before. I was content with teaching Cheerilee's class with her, and maybe getting a class of my own once I knew more about your world." Despite the situation, my face broke out into a wide smile and I giggled. "I remember when I was evaluated by this jerk named Thinking Brain. She gave me a less than glowing review..." My giggles evolved into full blown laughter that I barely tried to suppress. My convulsions almost began rocking the chariot. "Now I'm a friggin' alicorn princess. A goddess of whatever. I... I wish I could see the look on her f-face when she finds out."

I look up at Celestia who has a vague smirk on her face. It takes me a few moments for my laughter to completely die down, but eventually I take a few deep breaths and run a hoof through my mane. "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't abuse my new body by scaring the horns off of teaching evaluators."

"I suppose not," said Celestia dryly. "However, I would like to get back to the matter at hoof. Until such a time as we discover a way to turn you back into a human and possibly ascend Twilight, we need to figure out your position."

"Why? Couldn't I just live in Ponyville still?" I snorted. "Yeah I'd need to get a bigger house. Mine is essentially a hovel, and I'm a little too big for that now. That aside, I'd prefer that."

Celestia grimaced and shook her head. "I'm afraid not, TD. You must understand that you do have power now, even if you do not want it. All of Equestria is going to know of you in a very short while. Days maybe. Ponies from areas closer to Ponyville than Canterlot would know where you are and flock there, seeking an audience with you. Some would bring the sick, begging you to heal them. Others would vie for political favors. Maybe some would attempt to manipulate you into granting them power. On top of all of that, Ponyville's residents love their town because it is simple and small. Every resident knows each other and they're relatively happy. If a goddess was living amongst them..."

"Ponyville wouldn't really be theirs anymore," I finished. "Ponies would live there to be close to me and the town's population would boom." I began rubbing my temples. "Further reminding Twilight of what I did to her."

Celestia put a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "TD, you are not at fault for what happened. She does not wish to resent you because of it."

"But she does anyway," I muttered. "How could she not?" I glanced up at Celestia and grimaced. "I hate to say this because I don't like admitting stuff like this, but I think I can kinda see your side of things now."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I kinda did just what you did that brought me here. Through events and mistakes kinda out of my control, I took something important away from an innocent pony." I motioned to Celestia with my hoof. "You pulled me out of my world, I took Twilight's ascension away from her." I leaned my head against one of my hooves. "Maybe I'm making comparisons that aren't there but you get where I'm coming from, right?"

"I think so," said Celestia. "But you shouldn't blame yourself."

"You've said that a lot today, haven't you?"

"I suppose I have, but we're getting off topic once more, TD. We need to figure out what you are going to lead."

"Oh really?" My smirk returned. "I seem to recall a certain princess who told me that she would hand over rule of Equestria to me if I ever managed to hurt her even slightly." I motioned to her bruises, which were already fading away. "I just did that several times over the course of a few minutes." I extended a hoof, my grin widening. "I'll take the deed to Equestria now."

Celestia scowled at me. "When I said that you were an injured human. Now you're a princess."

"It seems you spoke a little hastily then, yes?" I snickered.

"Indeed," said Celestia stiffly, "but that is what we are talking about: where will you rule?"

I shrugged. "I'm going to rule from Canterlot no matter what, yes?"

"Possibly, but there are certainly other options." Celestia frowned and tapped the floor of the carriage. "Regardless of where you live, you need to build some sort of large living space that can feasibly house all of the ponies who will flock to see you. On top of that there is the new branch of the Equestrian guard that will need to be created."

I groaned and rubbed my temples again. "Do I seriously have to do all of that?"

"If you don't want chaos in your palace, yes. It's not so much to protect you as it is to keep order.."

"I don't really want a palace," I said flatly. "I mean seriously, do I seem like the kind of guy who would enjoy consistently living in opulence? It'd get boring after a while." I jerk my head over to Canterlot, which was rapidly approaching. "Living in luxury is fun once in a while, but the novelty would kinda wear off. Novelty things are only cool in small doses." I groaned and rested my head on the side of the chariot. "We'll talk to Luna about it. I'm curious as to what her input will be." Especially about friggin' changing me back, I mentally added.

I do not want to do the whole politics thing.

The last ten minutes of the trip was silent as both Celestia and I mentally prepared for how Luna was going to react to not only my ascension, but the fact that Celestia and I had a cat fight. Yes our bruises were beginning to fade, but they were still prominent on Celestia because of her white coat. Come to think of it, my light peach coat meant that they must have been decently visible on me too. So yeah, she'd not be pleased about that.

We flew over the main area of Canterlot and towards the palace where a whole regiment of guards were waiting to greet us with all of the pomp and circumstance that befitted royalty. Luna, Shining Armor, and Cadance were at the head of the pack. I'm honestly not sure which one scared me the most at that moment. Probably all three.

The chariot landed and Celestia stepped off to much fanfare. Luna, Shining Armor, and Cadance greeted her with hugs and salutes. I stepped off after her, hoping that I could maybe stay behind Celestia and we could talk without the guards around. Unfortunately the three of them spotted me the second I got off the chariot, and ran over to me with large smiles.

"Twiley!" said Shining Armor. "You did it!"

"I'm so proud of you," Cadance cooed. "I didn't expect you to get so big or for you to change colors, but I don't know everything about ascension."

"Thou art family to Us, Twilight Sparkle," said Luna. Her smile faltered as she examined me. "Though We are not sure what the bruising is on thy person." Luna looked over at Celestia and noticed her bruises. "Tia? Why are Twilight Sparkle and thee bruised?"

"Because I'm not Twilight," I said flatly. "We inflicted them on each other."

The three of them gasped, their eyes wide and their jaws dropped. For a moment they just stared at me in utter shock, examining my new body. Shining Armor and Cadance exchanged glances, and Luna shook her head as if doing so would shatter some illusion. I rolled my eyes and tapped my hoof on the ground. "Celestia and I got into a little scuffle after this happened. I punched her in the face and she decided to hit me back."

Luna's eyes widened ever so slightly, and she began alternating looks between Celestia and I. "S-surely this is not TD Powell? That is impossible!"

"I'd make some quip out of that, but I'm no happier than you are about the whole thing," I said.

Luna fixed me with her attention, but her mouth had closed and her expression was a little more even. "We are unsure of whether or not this is a prank, TD Powell. We assure thee that it is most unfunny if it is."

"It would be a little funny," I retorted, "but it's no joke. I woke up as a human, and three hours later I became an alicorn princess."

"Princess or prince?" Cadance asked.

I grimaced. "Princess."

"Ouch. That's gotta be tough, dude," said Shining Armor. His wife elbowed him, causing him to give her a slight glare. I'm on his side with that one. Cadance wouldn't really get why that might be terrible for me.

I looked back at Luna who still had a neutral expression on her face. I smiled awkwardly and kicked at the ground. The action seemed to snap her out of whatever she was feeling, and she facehooved. "We weren't prepared for this."

Author's Notes:

As you may have guessed from reading the beginning of his time in the chariot, this is set in the same universe as
The Teachings of a Non-Brony

Yes, I know you all want to know what TD is the princess of, but next chapter. I'm hopefully going to finish a new Wanderings chapter first. Ideally I alternate.

TD: The Princess of...

At Celestia's insistence, the five of us went into some private room of the castle where only the princesses were allowed to go. Shining Armor came too partially because he was the Captain of the Guard and partially because he was a prince via his marriage to Cadance. Celestia led me to what appeared to be an ordinary wall in the castle, but a quick spell from her horn revealed a secret doorway. She opened it and herded us inside.

The interior was actually pretty subdued given who occupied it. It was just a series of bookshelves, packed to the limit with books of all sizes. In the middle was a large oak table with green felt on top. Kind of like a poker table. It was surrounded by three chairs, but Celestia quickly conjured up two more for Shining Armor and me.

We all took our seats, each of us as silent as the grave. I looked over at each of the ponies around me. Celestia's expression was the carefully neutral one I had come to expect from her. Luna's face bore that expression as well, but I could see a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. Shining Armor and Cadance kept exchanging a glance that I couldn't read.

After a few seconds of silence, Celestia cleared her throat. "Now, it is imperative that nothing that is spoken here leaves the room, save for the knowledge that will soon be public anyway." Celestia motioned over to me. "As you can all see, TD is now a princess of Equestria. The reason why is still unknown to me."

"The last thing I did before..." I motioned to myself, "this is I finished Twilight's friendship spell. She had gotten hit by a bit of debris from Rarity's storm, and I dictated her spell when she figured it out."

Luna frowned. "That does not explain why the spell targeted thee, TD Powell. It was intended for Twilight."

"I kinda figured that out already, thanks," I snarked. "For whatever reason, though, it hit me."

"Does this mean that it would have turned Spike into a princess if he had dictated?" Cadance asked. She cocked her head at me. "I mean, that would make finishing the spell kind of a delicate process."

"Well..." I leaned back in my chair as well as I could. "I did also kind of learn a friendship lesson, and I did a bunch of friendshippy stuff that are your Elements or whatever right before I finished it."

"That could have something to do with it," Shining Armor agreed.

"I'm afraid that speculation as to why TD was ascended will have to wait." Celestia ignited her horn and a thick blue book flew off of the bookshelf. She opened it to a middle page and looked up to me. "This is a record of who runs what in Equestria. With your new powers I feel that it is your responsibility to at least take some duties."

I frowned and narrowed my eyes. "You know, what happens if I say no? Sure I'm an alicorn princess..." I inwardly rolled my eyes at that, "but I'm not exactly the kind of guy who likes the idea of being a ruler." I motioned over to the book. "I've never really sought power, even back on Earth. I was a dishwasher at a dining hall before I came here for goodness sakes."

The slightest hint of a frown crossed Celestia's face. "You do not want to have any input on how Equestria is run, even with your new powers and status?"

"I never wanted that!" I retorted. "Sure I'm a pony, but again, I'm a small town person. Even if I can't be changed back, I'd rather live quietly in Ponyville. That's who I am." I motioned to Cadance and Luna. "The only reason I really came here was to figure out what to do and to see if you guys couldn't change me back." My own slight frown crossed my face. "Or at the very least to see if you couldn't give me my balls back, because this..." I pointed between my legs, "is not okay."

"I understand, TD," Celestia said gently. "If nothing else, I do promise to look into that. I will likely be easier to do than to change your species." Celestia's expression changed to a subtly guilty one. "The latter of which would require new magic to do."

I groaned and banged my head onto the table a few times. "I was so proud to be a human," I said to nobody in particular. "I liked it."

I felt a hoof touch my shoulder and I glanced up to see Cadance giving me a warm smile. "It's going to be okay, TD. If nothing else, do know that we are here for you."

I raised my head and leaned it against my hoof. "This sucks."

I heard an angry snort behind me and I turned my head to see Cadance glaring at me. "You know what, mister? I hate to say this to you because I know you've been through a ton today, but you need to suck it up."

I straightened up completely and returned her glare. "Try changing species and gender sometime and see how you like it. I'd pay to see that."

Cadance rolled her eyes. "I'm sure I'd hate it just as much as you do, but be practical, TD. Are you going to sit around and mope about the fact that you're going to very soon be one of the most powerful beings in the entire universe, or are you going to get off your plot and do something about it?" Cadance stood up from her chair and flared out her wings. "I get that life has been hoofing you terrible things for about a year now, but Twilight told me that in Ponyville you made the best of it by being a teacher to the foals there." Cadance slammed her hoof on the table with each word. "Apply. That. Mentality. Here."

The room was completely silent after Cadance's little outburst. My jaw hung open as I processed her words, trying to find some flaw in them that would strengthen my perspective to her. Nothing came, though. The less rational part of my brain wanted me to flare out my wings and respond 'yeah, well, your mom,' but they wouldn't get it and it would be childish. I closed my jaw and flattened my ears, having more expressive ears was something that I had adjusted to quickly enough, and lightly fluttered my wings. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"I get it, TD. I really do." Cadance's tone had turned back to her usual softer one. "I guess I'm sorry for my outburst, but I hate seeing gifts being given to ponies and they complain. Whether you want to admit it or not, you can do some legendary things with what has just happened to you."

"I guess..." I groaned and slammed my own hoof on the table. "I'm trying to think of some friggin' retort to shut you down." I grimaced. "I don't like being on the receiving end of that kind of thing."

"I know you don't, TD," Cadance replied, taking her seat again. Her face stretched out into a thin smile. "I did kind of figure that your brain was heading that way. You can be pretty sarcastic."

"Yep," Shining Armor agreed. "Twiley has told me all about it." He snorted and a smile of his own crossed his face. "Maybe you should be the Princess of Snark and Sarcasm."

"We second the motion," said Luna. My jaw dropped open slightly again and I stared at her dumbfounded. She shrugged. "What? T'would be fitting given your behavior, yes?"

"Well... I mean... I guess?"

"Now that I reflect on the matter, I too must agree," said Celestia. I turned my head to her, my jaw still wide open. "TD, I know that this is hard for you." A faint smile appears at her lips. "If making you the Princess of Snark and Sarcasm will make the transition easier, then so be it."

"I also vote for that," said Cadance, her own smile widening.

"Then we are agreed." Celestia grabbed a quill in her magic and wrote down the verdict. "Amongst other things not yet known, Princess TD will be the Princess of Snark and Sarcasm."

"Agreed," said everybody else in the room.

Their collective words snapped me out of my incredulity, and I shook my head to clear it. "Uh... okay, I guess..." I raised my hoof and extended a wing. "But, let me very clear on one thing. Yeah, I'll take this. I'll accept my responsibilities or whatever about the whole thing. Having said that, I'm not doing it for you. I'm not doing it for Equestria." My eyes landed on everybody in the room in succession. "I'm doing it for Twilight."

Luna frowned and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

I closed my eyes with a sigh. "Look, I know that this was supposed to be Twilight sitting in my spot. I kinda feel that I stole that from her, however inadvertently. If I have this but just throw it away, that would be like hitting her while she's down, so to speak, right? I know that she's upset that this happened..." I locked eyes with Celestia, "so I'm doing this so that I don't throw away what should have been hers. That's the only reason. End of story."

Celestia slowly nodded, and jotted down something in the notebook. "That's... understandable, I suppose." She nodded again.

It could have been worse, I suppose. As my recent ascension has taught me, it's never so bad that it can't get worse.

"It is official." Celestia set down her quill. "Now, we must decide other matters. I'm afraid that even if we can turn you back, and it is a slim chance at best, it may take decades."

"Time I don't have," I retorted. "I mean, my life span may have increased to a hundred years or so since I'm a pony now, but I don't really have decades to spend if I want to make the most out of this."

"A hundred years?" Luna cocked her head and frowned. "We do not know where you received such a number, TD Powell."

"Right after the Gala." I pointed my hoof in the general direction of Ponyville. "Twilight and her buddies told me that ponies live for around one hundred and twenty some odd years."

"Normal ponies yes," said Celestia.

"Right. So that means—" My eyes widened as the implications of the word "normal" hit me like a brick. My mouth flopped up and down for a few seconds before I managed to regain my brainpower. "I'm not... immortal, am I?" Celestia, Cadance, and Luna exchanged a glance that told me all I needed to know. I thunked my head on the table again. "Oh for goodness sake!"

"Immortal but not invincible," Luna explained. "However, thou art more resilient to most forms of weapons."

"So this is forever." I groaned and banged my head again. "I think I can complain about this, Cadance." I opened one eye as a thought struck me, and I raised my head to look at Celestia. "So... if Twilight was meant to ascend today, doesn't that mean that she would become an immortal as well?"

"Ascension is an erratic thing at the best of times." Celestia pointed at Cadance. "When Cadance ascended, she became a beta alicorn, whereas you, Luna and I are alpha alicorns. She is not immortal, nor does she have the power to raise the sun and moon. It is my belief that Twilight would have become a beta alicorn as well."

"But you weren't sure."

Celestia nodded. "I'm afraid so."

I grimaced and tapped my hoof on the table. "That doesn't explain why I'm like this."

"I know," said Celestia gently. "Luna and I will use all of our resources to determine why you ascended the way you did. The Elements of Harmony are a mystery. They had a hoof in this, I'm sure of it. Your ascension has a reason behind it."

"Yeah, I got to become the Princess of Snark and Sarcasm," I snarked sarcastically.

"There is more to it than that," Celestia snapped. "Please understand that we are going into this as blind as you are."

"That matters not at the moment," Luna pointed out. "What We wish to discuss is matters in the near future." Luna levitated the book and quill over to her. "TD Powell has responsibilities. She is a princess who has accepted titles."

A snarl crossed my face, and I slammed my hoof on the table so hard it sent vibrations through it. "HE! I don't care what plumbing I biologically have right now, I was born a 'he' and I want you to refer to me like that."

If Luna was at all rattled by my outburst, she didn't show it. She simply tilted her head in a nod. "Very well. He. He will need to be given lands to govern and a place to reside in. He will also need to create his own guard."

"Wait... what?" I raised an eyebrow and looked between Celestia and Luna. "What do you mean 'create my own guard'?"

"It is not so much for your own protection as it is to keep the peace around you," Celestia explained. "You are a powerful being, TD. I told you about this in the chariot ride over."

"UH..." I frowned as I tried to remember the particulars of the conversation in the chariot. "Yeah. I think I remember something about that. So I get to form my own army, is that it?"

"Volunteer protection force," Celestia corrected. "But yes, the particulars will be up to you."

I opened my mouth to reply, but my retort died in my throat as a thought entered my mind. A deliciously mischievous thought. They seemed to be giving me free reign in creating my guard.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Now, we shall need to discuss your place of residency." Celestia took the book back from Luna. "Given that you do still wish to be close to Ponyville, but at the same time need to reside in a larger city, I think Baltimare would be a wise choice."

I shrugged. "I guess that would be okay."

Celestia jotted that down in the book. "Very well. Your residency will be in Baltimare. You may alternate where you stay, of course."

"Of course."

Celestia nodded and closed the book. "We will have to leave off there for the day. Day court will be convening in half an hour, and it would be best if I was there. We will return to these matters once it is over." Celestia put the book back on the shelf before looking at me. "TD, would you like to sit in on the court to get an idea of what it is like? Should you have a fresh perspective on an issue you may speak it."

Once again Celestia was giving me a gift that I had no problem exploiting. I would be subtle about it, of course. Well, as subtle as a guy like me could be, but if I could, I planned on making this the most interesting day court ever. I couldn't flat out say that, but let's just say that I was having trouble not rubbing my hooves together and cackling like a Bond villain.

If I was going to be an alicorn princess, I was going to abuse the heck out of my new powers for a while. Even alicorn princesses need to unwind a little at the expense of the nobility.

Author's Notes:

It's chapters like this that make me wish that this site had a Dramedy tag, or even just a plain old drama tag.

Sorry for the exposition dump in this chapter. I promise more good stuff soon; the stuff you came here for.

I hope you don't think I'm turning TD into a Gary S... Mary Sue. If you think I'm headed in that direction please let me know.

I know I said I'd have a new Wanderings chapter up, but I promise that I'm working on it. I'm about 1500 words in.

Still, stay tuned for Alicorn Princess TD Trolls the Canterlot Nobility.

TD the Alicorn Princess Trolls the Canterlot Nobility

I followed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna out of the secret room and into the main area of the throne room. Celestia extended a wing, stopping us just outside of the doors of the royal entrance to the throne room before turning to me. "TD, I know that this is not the best time to introduce you to the public. I am aware that you are not exactly one for big public demonstrations, though." Celestia folded her wing back at her side. "However, even with that it would be best if we didn't use your real name. Princess TD would not be fitting, I think."

I scowled at her. "You're pushing this on me and now you're taking my name?"

"How many ponies do you want to know that the human who struck me at the Gala is now a goddess?"

"Not many, but how else are you going to explain a new princess?"

Celestia glanced at the door and fluttered her wings. "Well, I think I will just say that through matters unforeseen, one of my subjects ascended." She waved a hoof to forestall my objections. "Yes I know you are not one of my subjects, but that is what must be said."

I narrowed my eyes, but decided to say nothing more on the matter. I grunted and tapped my hoof on the ground. "Okay, so what is my 'princessy' name?"

At this Celestia's mouth turned up into a doubtlessly unintentionally ominous smile. "Well, I have given it a thought, and I think that Princess Antares works. It is one of the four royal stars, and you are one of the four royals."

"Fair enough."

Oh I was so going to abuse my new godly authority. If I hadn't been going to before, and I was, that just sealed the deal. Princess Antares? Blegh. Still, it's not like I could have thought of a better one, and I really didn't want a lot of ponies to know that it was me right then. I didn't know how they would react.

I did look forward to them reacting to "Princess Antares'" personality, though. They've never had a royal quite like me.

I decided to respond with a single nod, something that was returned by Celestia. She ignited her horn and the door swung open. Trumpets blared as Celestia and I walked into the room. The throne room was packed with ponies, most of whom seemed to be nobility based on their clothing. To my absolute delight, I saw Prince Blueblood with his nose in the air in the middle of the line.

The universe kicked me down when I ascended, but it seemed to be trying to make up for it now.

Of course the fact that there was a new alicorn behind Celestia didn't go unnoticed. Neither did the fact that Princess Celestia told this new alicorn to sit on Princess Luna's throne. Hushed conversations and probably conspiracy theories were exchanged by the crowd, and I had to refrain from smiling. I kinda wished that I could use magic so that I could change my voice to sound like Luna's then tell them that there was an incident with coat dye. I'd blame Blueblood or something.

Alas, that wasn't the case. Celestia raised a foreleg and a wing and motioned for the crowd to be silent. They immediately complied, and Celestia stood up from her throne. "Mares and gentlecolts: I understand that you may be surprised to see another princess here in court with me today." Celestia pointed to me with her wing. "Her name is Princess Antares, and she will soon become the fourth Equestrian princess." A murmur ran through the crowd, and Celestia allowed it to go on for a few seconds before raising a wing to silence them again. "I cannot give you more details on this matter. She will be sitting in court today to get a feel for things. She will hold her own court at a later date." Celestia turned her head to me. "Do you have anything else to add?"

I shook my head. "I do not suppose I do," I said in my best imitation of Celestia's regal voice. "I hope to learn a lot from this court."

You all will probably learn a lot too.

Day court was freaking boring.

I thought that it would be a bunch of stuck up nobles arguing about a ton of nonsense, but it was more like what that show that films congress when it's in session is like. It was more about tax reforms and land whatever than bickering nobles. Afterwards Celestia assured me that there were certainly those days, but ruling Equestria wasn't always like watching children. Occasionally I got to pipe in with my opinion, but I didn't really know what I was talking about on most issues.

It was a pity. I had been looking forward to adding some TDness to the day court. I'd imagined that there whole day would be nobles arguing about something stupid, and I'd be able to flex my muscles as the princess of snark and sarcasm. But no, instead they all might as well have been speaking Greek.

That's not to say that fate didn't present me with a chance to make up for the wretched time in day court.

After five hours of miserable boring talk, during which I had to sit up and pay attention, Celestia stood up and spread her wings. "The day court is adjourned for the day. If I did not get to you I wholeheartedly apologize, but there are other matters that I must attend to." She inclined her head to the gathered nobles. "I will see most of you for this evening's garden party in the castle gardens. Princess Antares will also attend."

Celestia and I walked out of the throne room, and I wasted no time in giving her the evil eye once we did. "I had to endure five hours of then and now you want me to go to some stuck-up garden party?" The two of us stopped after a few steps. "I don't do well with pony parties if the last Gala was any indication."

Celestia sighed and nodded. "I understand that, TD. However, I feel that it would be beneficial for you to meet your future subjects. Make a good impression on some of them."

I rolled my eyes. "Because the nobility and I mix very well." I stuck out my tongue. "Especially ponies like Blueblood."

"Blueblood is a special case," Celestia admitted. "I do not think that all of them will treat you as such." Celestia's expression turned a little more somber and she leaned in closer. "However, there will be ponies there that will try to take advantage of you. They see you as politically weak and easily manipulated. I shall be watching you to make sure that you can handle yourself."

"Ponies talking about tax reforms and whatnot I'm not sure I can do." My irritated expression was quickly replaced by a rather mischievous smile. "However, ponies that see me as a conquest... those I can handle."

"If you are sure."

"Pretty sure." My smile faded away into a frown. "But if you're so worried about me, why are you dumping me into the lion's den?"

Celestia motioned for us to begin walking again, and I began following her. "Partially because I believe that you can handle yourself, and partially because I think immersion into Canterlot life would do you some good. You can get some practice in, as it were." Celestia shrugged with her head. "If I feel that it is too much, you are excused. Luna or Cadance will take care of you from there."

I grimaced but refrained from speaking. She seemed insistent that I go, and the fact that most of them expected me wasn't exactly helping my reasons not to. If I had to rule, and I would go to all lengths to avoid that if I could, it would be good to go.

If any of them try to manipulate me, they will understand why I am the princess of snark and sarcasm. Oh yes indeed they will.

The next few hours were spent preparing for the garden party. I absolutely refused to have anybody braid my mane or wear a dress or any of that nonsense, so Celestia and I compromised by having me wear a pair of her shoe things and one of her breastplates, both of which she switched colors to match my mane. She had wanted something to cover up the fact that I didn't have a cutie mark, but I vetoed that idea too.

If the nobility didn't like the fact that I didn't have a cutie mark, then they wouldn't get any favors from me.

I was adjusting my regalia, which was admittedly comfortable, when Luna walked into the room that Celestia had made up for me. "Good evening, TD, or should We say: Princess Antares?"

"No. No you should not," I replied. I turned around to face her with a scowl. "Celestia gave me that name and I only took it because I didn't have a better one. I'll grin and bear it in public for now, but I'm still TD, got it?"

Luna nodded. "Very well. TD it is, then." Luna walked to the center of the room with a tray on which rested a single apple. "Tis Our understanding that thou art unaware of how to perform magic of any kind, is this true?"

I grimaced and nodded. "I produced blue sparks the last time I tried."

"So We have heard." Luna placed the tray on the table closest to us. "We would like thee to levitate that apple over to thyself. T'would be prudent for thou to learn the ways of levitation at the very least before facing the garden party."

I disliked that Luna said 'facing' as it meant that she was aware that it wasn't an ideal situation. I couldn't argue that I needed to figure out how to use magic for as long as I was in this body. I steeled myself and faced the apple, glaring at it. It was going to lift into the air if I had to... well, I'm not sure what I had to do, but dang it, I was going to lift that darned apple.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried focusing on my horn. The unicorns I knew made it look so freaking easy; like they didn't even have to think about it.

"Tap into your energy, TD. Interact with the magic in the air, and you will lift the apple."

I almost made a quip about Yoda and the X-Wing, but she wouldn't have gotten it, which was a pity. I had a reputation for snark now.

I closed my eyes again and tried feeling the air around me. It was cool in the room, and it smelled slightly of oranges. That probably had something to do with the candles or something like that. However, I felt something else too. Something that I couldn't quite explain. It was like an energy source around me. A few feet ahead of me there was an anomaly of sorts, and I reached out to it with my mind. It sounds incredibly stupid, but when I opened my eyes again both my horn and the apple, which was in the air, were bathed in a dark blue glow.

"Huh." I moved the apple over to me. "Okay then."

Luna lightly chuckled. "Very well done, TD. We suppose that your natural ability is the result of your ascension, but soon you will be able to do more advanced magic than even Twilight Sparkle."

My more expressive ears drooped at Twilight's name, and I put the apple back down on the tray. "Yeah. Twilight."

Luna took a step towards me and placed her hoof on my shoulder. "We understand how thou feelest about your predicament. This should not have been your fate, but We know that thou did not choose this. Twilight Sparkle understands. Tia has told Us so."

"Great," I grumbled. "That only makes me feel slightly less bad."

"She knows that you would change it if you could," Luna assured me. "We feel that is enough for her. She does not resent you."

"We'll see," I mumbled.

The door opened up and Celestia walked inside. She had her serene smile back on her face. "It is time, TD. The guests are waiting."

I took a deep breath and glanced over at Luna who gave me a reassuring smile. I didn't even bother trying to return it, I just followed Celestia out into the castle grounds. As we entered, I saw that there were already dozens of nobles there. Most of them were chatting with each other or nibbling on bite sized food while a string quartet serenaded them with slow, restrained music, but all of that stopped the second the two of us entered the gardens. The nobles all began bowing low, and I heard a few mumbles of 'princess Celestia'. I did not doubt that they weren't bowing to me. It's not like I cared much, though. If I wanted their approval I would try harder to kiss their hooves.

But hoo boy I was going to do my darnedest to make sure that this one was one of the most interesting garden parties since the Mane Six showed up.

Well, Celestia had to address the crowd first. She smiled at the guests. "Good evening, mares and gentlecolts. Princess Antares and I are delighted that you could join us on this lovely evening."

At my name, the nobles all looked over at me. Some blatantly, others with just a quick glance. I inclined my head at the ones who were more direct.

"The two of us will be moving about the party," Celestia continued. "Please enjoy yourselves."

The crowd murmured praises or whatever, and Celestia turned back to me. "Do at least try to enjoy yourself. If I feel that you are overwhelmed, I will come over. If I haven't, please do not hesitate to contact me if you can."

I gave her a single nod and trotted over to the food table to see if there was anything edible for me. I, of course, wasn't really big into pony food, but if there was some pastry or other that I would take it. The few ponies by the table stopped their resumed conversations and looked directly at me as I approached. I nodded at them and bade them good evening.

I hoped that this wouldn't be as boring as day court. I prayed to... well, would it have been alright for me to pray to me since I was technically a goddess? Eh, who knows? Whatever the case may be, I hoped that they would give me an opportunity to make this interesting.

They totally did.

There wasn't much at the food table, but the second I turned around I found myself surrounded by no less than a dozen nobles, all staring straight at me. I gave them a curt nod and a one word greeting. "Hi."

"Good evening," said the mare closest to me. If I remember what Rarity said to me at the Gala well enough, her name was Upper Crust or something like that. "It's nice of you to join us, Princess Antares."

"Yep."

"Hmm." Upper Crust began idly examining her hoof. "I'm curious, Princess Antares, just where you are from. I must admit, it's more than a little surprising for a new princess to just suddenly appear."

"I'm sure it is," I conceded, "and I'd be happy to explain." I cleared my throat and forced a smile from my face. "I am from the space between spaces and the time beyond time. I came to be by writing new magic."

The crowd gasped and Upper Crust's jaw dropped. "N-new magic?! There hasn't been any new magic in millennium; not since Starswirl the Bearded!"

"I think you mean 'not since this morning," I corrected. "If you're going to get ahead in the world you have to stay updated on current events."

"B... uh..." Upper Crust blinked a few times and shook her head. "I must say that I am impressed. New magic is most rare."

"Are you going to stay here in Equestria as a ruling princess?" another noble asked.

I nodded and allowed myself a smile. "Yes. My residency will be Baltimare, but I will move around to other areas as well."

One of the nobles to my left flashed me a smile and took a few steps forward. "Baltimare? Well that is most fortunate for you. I have my residency in Baltimare myself." He chuckled. "You're going to need somepony intricately familiar with the city if you're going to be residing there, are you not?"

"I suppose that I will." I tapped my jaw with my hoof. "I'll have to get right on that once I get settled there."

"Marvelous!" The noble stomped his hooves on the ground in a manner that I had begun to associate with clapping. "My name is Count Vichy, your highness. I will have my ponies set up a meeting time for us at your earliest convenience, Princess."

"Wonderful." I inclined my head. "You'll have to suggest somebody that I can hire to get me familiar with Baltimare when we do."

Vichy's smile slid off of his face, and he stared at me unblinking for a few seconds. My smile never left my face, and I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing right there. Vichy did eventually force his smile to return, though, but it was considerably more strained. "W-well I thought that I might be suitable for the position."

I raised my eyebrow. "You? What are your qualifications?"

"As I said, my residence is in Baltimare!"

"Yes, yes, I got that," I said with a wave of my hoof, "but what makes you think that you are the best pony for the job?"

Vichy's confident smile returned. "Well I know all of the best spots that make Baltimare a wonderful city. I'm curious..." He leaned in closer to me. "Have you ever dined in The Mauvaise Nourriture? It has the most exquisite food you will ever experience."

Somehow I doubted that, but I couldn't quite figure out why.

"No, I can't say that I have. In fact, I have never been to Baltimare."

Vichy's smile turned condescendingly sympathetic. "All the more reason for you to bring me on to help you get settled." He bowed low to the ground. "It would be my honor, your majesty."

Brown. Noser.

If I sensed a hint of genuineness in his actions, I would have taken him up on the offer. He was quite right after all, I did need somebody to help me get accustomed to Baltimare. As it was, though, he had left me an opening too juicy to ignore.

"Well that sounds good. While you're here, would you mind telling me some good places where the commoners eat? Maybe a popular fast food joint?"

One of the nobles in the crowd had been sipping from a glass of red wine, and he spit-taked all over the yellow dress of the mare next to him. I could almost hear the pupils of the noble grovelling in front of me contract to pinpoints, and his forced smile returned. "F-fast food establishments, your majesty?"

I widened my smile and nodded. "Absolutely. Surely Baltimare isn't just a city of a hundred or so nobles, right? There are other ponies there too, right?"

"W... well yes."

"They eat somewhere, right?"

Vichy didn't even try to force a smile anymore. He just stared at me with a bewildered expression. "I suppose they do."

A more astute pony who wasn't totally shocked by what I was saying would have noticed that my smile was less serene and more mischievous, but the ponies around me likely had very little thought process right now. A princess eating with commoners? How dare she. Never mind the fact that Celestia did it herself. I guess fast food was a new one for them, though.

Still trying to withhold my laughter, I clapped Vichy on the back. "Very good! If you're going to be my guide, you and I will have to eat at places like that daily. I have to know my ponies, after all."

"E-eat th...?" Vichy tried stuttering out a few more eloquent words, but he couldn't even blink in surprise. "P-Princess Antares, eating at fast food establishments is not something that a princess should be doing."

I frowned at him. "How do you know? Are you an alicorn princess?"

"N-no..."

"I see." My eyes narrowed and I took a step towards him. "Have you ever eaten at a fast food place?"

Vichy flattened his ears and raised a hoof as if to take a step backwards. "Well no..."

"Then how do you know if they're any good?" I harrumphed and raised my nose into the air. "If you cannot be open minded then I fail to see why we should be working together."

"I don't..."

I took an exaggerated deep breath and closed my eyes. "I hate to do this to one of my subjects, but I'm afraid that I have to fire you as my escort in Baltimare. I would prefer somepony who can get me acquainted with every one of my subjects. Not just the nobles." My eyes snapped open and I fixed him with the slightest of glares. "And I do not take kindly to attempts to get into my good graces by doing me favors that help you in the end." My expression turned more neutral. "Tell me, when you offered to get me acquainted with Baltimare, did you expect a court appointment in return? Maybe a few titles?"

Vichy's eyes widened. "N-no of course not, your majesty!"

"Really?" I cocked my head. "Maybe I misjudged you, then." The ghost of the noble's pompous air returned, and I smiled at him. "I look forward to seeing what fast food restaurants and movie theaters are best for me. Any good blockbusters come out recently?"

Yet again I said that just as a noble took a sip of wine. The same noble who had gotten wine on her yellow dress before gained a second coat of wine. Vichy's jaw dropped and his eye twitched. He didn't even try to stutter out some half-baked words that time. Indeed, a look around at the crowd of nobles revealed that his expression was pretty much par for the course. With another smile, I inclined my head and trotted away, leaving them staring into blank space.

I decided to take a walk around an area of the gardens where there weren't any ponies trying to get into my good graces. As I did, I passed by Princess Celestia. Her and I exchanged a glance, and she looked over at the group of stunned nobles. She scoffed quietly and gently shook her head. I did see a faint smile on her lips though, so I took it as a win.

I found that the only place where there weren't ponies was the castle maze. I walked for a few minutes before hitting a dead end. By that time, I couldn't keep it in anymore. I began laughing my new wings off.

Now, I've never liked people who try to kiss plot to get ahead in life. The fact that Vichy was doing it to me on top of proving that he saw ponies with less money than he had as lesser ponies only solidified to me that I had to set a precedent right then and there. I would not be manipulated, and if you tried, I would crack down on you in the most awesome way possible. Was I a little mean? Maybe, but I had no patience for ponies like him.

I laughed for a solid minute before realizing that I probably had to get back to it. There were other nobles that hadn't cornered me, and some of them might be okay. It would be good to get to know any respectable noble. Then I could gain the benefit of their knowledge combined with possibly gaining an adviser who wouldn't try to manipulate me for his own ends.

I took a deep breath, adjusted my regalia, and turned around to go back to the party. However, I found out that somepony was in my way. A very familiar somepony.

"Good evening, Blueblood."

Prince Blueblood himself was standing before me. His immaculate mane and his pompous smile were out in full force tonight, and I had no doubts that he wanted the same thing that Vichy did. The fact that he bowed low to the ground did nothing to ease that feeling.

"A most wonderful evening to you too, Princess Antares."

"Yep."

Blueblood got back to his hooves, his smile never having left his face. "I must say that I am most impressed with how you handled Count Vichy. You had him pegged right: he was certainly trying to manipulate you."

"I know." I gave Blueblood a subtle smile. "Is there anything you need?"

Blueblood chuckled. "I think it's less about what I need and more about what you need."

I frowned and cocked my head. "What do I need?"

"Why, you need a pony who knows the ins and outs of the nobility here in Canterlot." Blueblood took a few steps closer to me. "You need somepony who will be by your side every waking moment." Blueblood took a few more steps until he was right in front of me. "You need somepony who will teach you the ways of Canterlot." Once again Blueblood bowed low, but this time he kissed one of my shoes. "You need... me. I like a strong mare, and you need somepony who will compliment that strength."

"I see." I lowered my head until my nose was close to his mane and took a deep sniff. "You smell like apple pie."

Blueblood shot to his hooves and gave me an indignant look. "A-apple pie?! I assure you that my cologne is far more refined than that commoner's dish!"

"No, no, I smell apple pie on you." I wiped the shoe that Blueblood had kissed on the ground. "I know that the palace isn't big on apple pies, and if you don't like them then you wouldn't be around them if you could help it." My smile turned mischievous, and I regarded Blueblood the same way a spider would regard a fly it had just caught. "The only time I can remember you being around it was at the last Grand Galloping Gala." I leaned my head in closer to him. "When an apple pie got smashed in your face."

Blueblood squeaked and flinched back. "That was quite a while ago! I surely don't—"

"Why were you hitting on me?" I fixed him with a nice little glare. "Don't lie to me; you were basically proposing marriage."

"I was..." Blueblood flattened his ears and began looking around as though expecting to see an escape route straight out of the maze. "You see—"

"Do you know who I am?" I asked. I took a step forward for every step back he took. "I mean who I really am?"

"You are Princess Antares! Princess of..." Blueblood stopped in his tracks and frowned. "I do not actually know, now that I think on it."

"And yet you wanted to marry me," I snarked. I sighed and waved my hoof. "For future reference, I'm the princess of snark and sarcasm amongst other undetermined things." I scoffed and shook my head. "But that isn't quite right. I meant who I was before..." I motioned to me. "This."

"I have no idea!"

"Really?" Oh how I wish I had my laptop on me right now. It would make the whole reveal that much better, and I was really looking forward to seeing how he reacted. "Maybe this will jog your memory." I cleared my throat and began copying the dance at the Gala as best as I could with four legs instead of two. "Well I don't know why I came here tonight. I got the feelin' that somethin' ain't right.

That did it. It clicked in his mind who I really was. He squeaked again, and I stopped my dancing. I gave him the biggest smile that I had given all evening, and slowly nodded my head. "I think you might have got it, Bluey."

At my nickname for him, Blueblood let out an ear piercing shriek and bolted in the opposite direction.

"AUNTIE TIAAAAAAAAAA!"

Blueblood didn't quite see where he was going, and he slammed into one of the walls of the maze. He bounced off and lay sprawled on the ground for a moment before he shot to his hooves and ran through the maze. I heard Blueblood's whining fade into the distance as he ran from me.

"Oh how do I get out of this stupid maze?! AUNTIE TIA!"

Now, should I have done that? Maybe not because now the secret was out, but the look of utter shock and horror on his face more than made up for it. Chuckling to myself, I began skipping after him. I wasn't far enough into the maze that I had trouble getting out. I just followed the sound of his whining.

When I exited the maze I saw him at Celestia's hooves. His mane was disheveled, and he was babbling incoherent words. Celestia looked up when she saw me exit the maze. Blueblood turned his head around and when he saw me, he shrieked again and pointed at me. "GALA HUMAN!"

A gasp went through the onlookers, and all eyes were fixed on me. For my part, I was positively beaming. Celestia's expression had turned neutral again, but I suspected that I might be in a little bit of trouble. There wasn't really anything I could do about that at this point, though.

Celestia subtly shook her head and pulled her hoof out of Blueblood's grasp. "Princess Antares, may I have a few words with you in private?"

"I suppose you can."

"Good."

Celestia beckoned for me to follow, and the two of us went back in the direction of the castle.

Author's Notes:

I chose Princess Antares because Princess TD probably wouldn't fly in official court if they wanted to take him seriously. Worry not, though, that's just his public name. He's still TD to us.

Sorry this took so long to get out. I'm going through Resident Assistant training at my college and this is the first free day I've had in a while.

Press Meeting

We just barely made it back into the castle before I burst out laughing again. I leaned against a door frame and pounded on the wall with one of my hooves as the memory of Blueblood's expression played in my mind over and over again. It was awesome. I don't know what it is about Blueblood, but he just seems to bring out the best in me.

Well, the best snarker, that is.

Celestia, predictably, was not so amused. I felt her tap me on the shoulder and I took a moment to regain control again. After a few deep breaths, I looked over to her to see her positively glowering at me. I giggled again, but straightened up. "Come on, that was funny."

"It was not funny, TD," Celestia snapped. "I brought you to the event so that you could interact with ponies who you will have dealings with frequently in the future if you are going to do things like hold court. Besides that, I did not want your true identity to get out."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "What, are they going to not believe you if you tell them that the human that they saw at the Grand Galloping Gala for a few hours didn't ascend? I mean, if you tell them that I was pulling a prank on Blueblood and that what I told Vichy was true then are they going to think you're lying?"

Celestia's eyes softened slightly, but I could tell that she was still angry with me. "I suppose not, but that behavior is inexcusable."

"It was still funny," I retorted.

Celestia sighed and facehooved. "TD, I cannot condone those kinds of actions. I understand your behavior in dealing with Vichy, as you are quite right to call out ponies who see you only as a way to further themselves politically, but Blueblood you did for your own amusement!"

"He was hitting on me," I retorted. "He was also trying to be a brown noser." My amused expression was gone. "He was two seconds from proposing marriage!"

Celestia's anger instantly vanished, and she raised an eyebrow in interest. "Indeed?" I nodded. "I see. That does change things, but it still does not fix the fact that you revealed your identity to him."

"Nobody else saw that!" I pointed out. "Who knows th—"

My words were cut off when the door behind us burst open and the object of our conversation himself stomped into the room.

"YOU!" he screeched. He pointed a hoof at me as I turned around, a snarl etched on his face. "I don't know how you came to be in this form, but I demand that you cease existing as such right away!" Blueblood turned his furious glare to Celestia. "I demand that you send him to the moon, Auntie Tia! He's a perfectly brutish pony and shouldn't be anywhere near Canterlot!"

"Princess Antares will be moved to Baltimare where she will take her residency," said Celestia with an evenness that I certainly wouldn't have had. "She will rule there after her coronation be away from you."

Blueblood's anger evaporated, and to my surprise I saw a smug smile cross his face. "She?" He chuckled and gave me a nasty grin. "Did you say 'she', Auntie Tia?"

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Yeah, the Elements changed me into a princess, not a prince."

Blueblood threw back his head and the halls echoed with his uproarious laughter. "Your masculinity has left you it seems, human!" Blueblood crowed. "Good luck dealing with estrus and unwanted advances!"

Celestia opened her mouth to say something no doubt punishing, but I beat her to the punch and put my hoof on Blueblood's shoulder. He flinched back and fixed me with another snooty glare. At least his laughter stopped, though. I, on the other hoof, was smiling.

"It's true that, yeah, the Elements messed up and made me into a princess. However, I must ask you one question." My grin became even wider. "Do you like... apples?"

"I..." Blueblood gave me a bewildered look and glanced over at Celestia who seemed just as confused by the question as he was. "E... excuse me?"

"Apples," I repeated patiently. "I would like to know if you like apples. Not apple pies, apple fritters, or anything like that." I leaned against the wall and began idly examining my shoe. "Just apples."

"Well..." Blueblood studied me for a moment, but seemed to figure that I wasn't going joking about the question. "Y-yes, I suppose that I do. What of it?"

My smile tripled in size and I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his. "Because I'm an immortal alicorn goddess who has wings to go with his superior horn. I have more power than you could ever dream of, and I can use it to make your life miserable in ways that your aunt can't block because she doesn't know how to block them." I straightened back up and leaned back against the wall. "How do you like them apples?"

Blueblood let out a quiet squeak, but his face contorted with rage, and he slammed his hoof on the tile. "How dare you, you insolent foal! How dare you threaten me!"

"Yeah, well, your mo—"

"ENOUGH!"

Celestia's potent display of the Royal Canterlot Voice was enough to get us to both quiet down. We both turned our attention to her. I have to admit: Celestia can be intimidating when she's glaring at you and her wings are spread to their full extent. Blueblood and I wasted no time in stepping away from each other and flattening our ears.

Celestia growled and walked in between the two of us. "Now I want you both to listen to me." She shot us both glares. "I expect better from the both of you if you are going to be a new ruling princess, Antares." I didn't even bother trying to retort. It wouldn't get me anything anyway. "Now..." She turned to Blueblood. "You are not to antagonize Princess Antares with any more attempts to use her to gain power. You are not to antagonize her period, is that understood?"

"Yes, Auntie," Blueblood grumbled.

"Good. You are dismissed." She turned to me. "You will hold a press conference tomorrow. In it, we will explain your origins and what your plans for Equestria are. You will be on your best behavior." Her eyes narrowed even more and she leaned in a touch closer to me. "No more incidents like with Blueblood, is that clear?"

"Crystal," I grumbled, having gotten over some of the shock of her RCV. Blueblood was gone too, so that made a difference. "I take it my words will be scripted?"

"To an extent," Celestia admitted. "My sister and I will come up with the explanation for your appearance. On top of that, we will talk about what you are the princess of, as well as your coronation date."

"Yeah... that." I grimaced and looked out the nearby stained glass window. In truth, I wasn't sure how much I wanted to get deeply involved in the political system. I was quite excited to create my new guard, but holding court and going to fancy events like the garden party I had just been to wasn't appealing to me. Still, I almost felt that I owed it to Twilight to actually be a princess in her stead. She would have risen to the challenge, and it almost felt cowardly to just ignore what had happened to me.

I took a deep breath and fluttered my wings. "When will we do it?"

Two days later, I was standing beside Luna, Cadance, and Celestia in front of a crowd of at least six thousand ponies. You'd better believe that was intimidating. Celestia assured me that it would be a short one; just long enough to explain what I was the princess of and where I had come from. I was wearing my regalia again, Celestia told me that it would be my default regalia, only this time I had a crown on that was something akin to Celestia's.

The past two days had been more of the same, really. I sat in court again, which was just as boring, and went to another get-together with the nobility. Celestia, Luna, and I talked a little more about the kind of responsibilities I'd have, but they assured me that I'd start out slow.

As the crowd continued to chatter about what was pretty much the most important announcement since the return of Luna, Celestia raised her wings and the crowd quieted down. She stepped up to the microphone and smiled serenely at the crowd.

"Mares and gentlecolts, I thank you all for coming out today. As you may have heard, a new princess has appeared in Equestria." She motioned to me with a wing, and I stepped up beside her. "This is Princess Antares, the soon to be fourth princess. She will take up her residency in Baltimare."

A murmur went through the crowd, and Celestia let them talk for a few seconds before raising her wing again. "Now, there have been rumors that Princess Antares is the human that was at the Grand Galloping Gala this past year. These rumors are false. The human known as TD has been returned to his own dimension."

I had to hold back a scowl and I ground my teeth together at that. It kind of hurt hearing her say that as I wished more than anything that it was true. Heck, I might even go back in this form if it meant going back to the familiar.

Having said that, now that I was in this form, maybe I would have enough power to do some portal research of my own.

Anyhoo, Princess Celestia was still talking, so I tuned back in to her.

"At this time I cannot reveal the details of Princess Antares' origins, but I assure you that she is perfectly safe, and she will be a just ruler." Celestia's serene smile widened, and she motioned to me with a wing again. "In fact, why don't you meet her? Mares and gentlecolts, I present to you Princess Antares."

The audience stomp applauded, and I stepped up to the microphone as Celestia stepped down. I looked out at the crowd of expectant ponies and cleared my throat. My stomach was tied into a million knots, but I took a deep breath. "Hello." There's that eloquence under pressure again. "My name is Princess Antares. I came here almost a week ago, and now I am another princess. I am the princess of snark, sarcasm, education, foal services..."

Now, that was all that we had agreed on, but a wonderfully mischievous thought entered my mind as I listed off what I was the princess of. If I was going to be in front of everybody, I had to have a little fun to relax. At Celestia's expense was even better. My nervous expression fell away to be replaced by a smile.

"And pastries. Especially cake."

I could almost hear Celestia squeak behind me. She wouldn't dare contradict me as she wanted to present me as a strong figure, so there wasn't much she could do about it at this point. Even if she denied it in private, she couldn't deny it in public. The princess of cake I was. Seems that Celestia would be dieting after all.

However, the rush of getting a small victory over Celestia was short lived, and I found my words leaving me already. "Uh... well, I'm not sure what else to say." I looked over to the nearby press section. "Is there anything in particular that you want to know?"

Immediately, every single reporters' hooves shot up, and I subtly flinched back. I recovered, though, and pointed at the one in the dead center. She stood up. "So, would you mind explaining to me what the fight between you and Princess Celestia was about? There are talks from Ponyville that it came to blows between the two of you."

"Ah... yes, yes it did." I shrugged. "Yeah, we fought. We had a frank exchange of ideas with our hooves, is what I guess you could call it." A small smile crossed my face. "Suffice to say, I was shocked when I appeared in Ponyville like this."

"'Like this'?" The reporter frowned. "That's implying that you had a separate form before you came to be here."

"Yeah, like human maybe?" another reporter chimed in. "As far as I'm aware, the only being to punch Princess Celestia was the human, correct?"

I shrugged again. "I have heard that, yes." I snorted. "But really, punching Celestia isn't something that only humans can do. Besides, she fought back the last time."

"It would be best if we moved on from that subject," said Celestia. "It is unimportant."

The reporters inclined their heads in bows, and raised their hooves again. I pointed to one in the back row. "Princess Antares, what will your court look like?"

"I don't know when I will start it, but I will be easing into it. Basically it's just for ponies who can't travel to Canterlot, but need a princess to speak to." My face darkened slightly, and I looked out into the crowd. "I'm just gonna tell you right now, though: I will not tolerate petty squabbles. All issues brought to my attention that waste my time will be directed towards the special guard I am creating."

"Can you give us any details on them?"

My expression slid back to a mischievous smile. "I cannot give details at this time. All I can say is that in two weeks, open tryouts for my guard will be held in Baltimare. They will be..." I chuckled lightly, "quite the soldiers, I can tell you that."

A few flashbulbs went off, and I motioned for a few more questions.

"Princess Antares, can you tell us about your lack of a cutie mark?"

Ah, there was one that I had been waiting for. I sighed and glanced back at my blank flank. "The truth is, I don't know why I don't have a cutie mark. Those of you who guessed that I was a different species before are correct; though I won't say which one. I went through my ascension and didn't get a cutie mark." A confident smile crossed my face, and I straightened up. "But you know, I don't really think that I need one to be a good princess, do you? Sure I'm not sure what I'm going to be best at amongst my titles, but you'd better believe that I'm going to be the best darned princess of snark and sarcasm that you've ever seen!" I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "I'm the only princess of snark and sarcasm you've ever seen, but if there are a million more after me I'm going to beat them all."

"But what does that entail; being the princess of snark and sarcasm?" asked another reporter.

"It means I'm going to give an honest, yet sarcastic, answer to every dumb question," I snarked. "It means that I'm not going to tolerate shallowness or pettiness in my court. Heck, I'm not going to tolerate it wherever I see it!" I puffed out my chest and raised my hoof into the air. "Snark and sarcasm is nature's antithesis to stupidity! I'll be honest, ponies can be dumb. I'm here to eradicate that with the best weapons ever! While I'm doing that, I will be the champion of foals throughout Equestria, I will improve the school system..."

Thinking Brain, I can't wait to meet you again.

"And I will make sure that pastries of all forms are respected!" I slammed my hoof on the podium in front of me. "For I am Princess Antares!"

The crowd erupted into loud cheers, and I even heard the other princesses stomping along with them. I was feeling pretty good about myself. So good, that I almost missed the flash of light behind me.

Almost, but I caught it.

I looked behind me and was unsurprised to see that my cutie mark had appeared. It appeared to be a sharp scorpion with a blood red star in the middle, which I supposed made sense given that Antares was part of Scorpio, Antares is a red star, and scorpions were highly maternal creatures and I was the princess of foal services.

Huh, not bad.

Author's Notes:

TD's cutie mark.

Poker Night

You know, I never thought that the day that I got my cutie mark would be a day that pleased me. That was mostly because I never thought that I would get one because a human getting a cutie mark might just be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But gosh darn it, I'm a freaking alicorn goddess now, and I just got my cutie mark. I have to say, I like the symbolism behind it. It's kind of nice. The crowd went absolutely berserk when I got it, particularly seeing as how I got it right after a rousing speech about how I was going to be an awesome princess.

Why couldn't I freaking be an awesome prince instead?

Well, given that it seemed that I had the full support of the Equestrian ponies, and the fact that I got my cutie mark, I have to say that the press conference was a rousing success. I didn't see any of the Mane Six there, but Celestia assured me that they came. I almost wished that she hadn't told me that. The fact that they didn't come to congratulate me seemed telling.

Still, that wasn't something that I wanted to dwell on. I had something more pressing to attend to. A privilege that Celestia told me was one of the most sacred traditions amongst the princesses since Cadance ascended.

Poker night.

When Celestia told me about that, an evil smile crossed my face. I was quite the card player in my high school years. I fell out of it a bit in college because I didn't have many people to consistently play with, but I was always up for a game. So, the four of us found ourselves back in the private room that I had come to after we arrived in Canterlot. The minute we entered, a guard came up levitating several suede pillows. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance ignited their horns, and all of their regalia floated off of them onto the pillows. After two tries I managed to get my own breastplate and shoes off. The guard saluted and exited the room.

"There is no need for stuffy regalia here," she said to me with a knowing smile. "This is a time for us to relax."

Luna grinned and levitated a deck of cards and a gigantic pile of bits onto the table. She rubbed hooves together and began distributing them. "Our sister is indeed correct. 'Tis the best night of the week!"

Celestia took the cards from Luna and used her magic to shuffle them. "Now, are you aware of how to play five card draw?"

I grinned evilly and mimicked Luna's action of rubbing my hooves together. "Oh you'd better believe that I know how to play five card draw." I pulled the cards close to me that Celestia had dealt out. With a little effort, I lifted them up. Five of clubs, six of spades, four of spades, eight of spades, and... princess of diamonds? It even had a picture of Luna on it. I wanted to ask, but if I did then they'd know what I had, and I certainly didn't want that. I put on my best poker face and tossed a bit into the middle for the starting pot.

"Well, since I dealt, it's your move, Cadance," said Celestia.

Cadance grinned and cracked her neck. She slid two cards across the table. "Two please." Celestia slid her two more cards.

I looked down at my own and stared at them. I had a shot at a straight which would have been quite the good beginning. On the other hand, I had a shot at a flush too. Decisions, decisions. Eh, the night was young yet. I put down my princess of diamonds and asked for one. Celestia gave me a replacement. I tried not to hold my breath as I picked it up. Six of diamonds. Curses. Pair of sixes wouldn't get me very far, and I wasn't quite ready to bluff. I clicked my tongue and tossed my cards down. "I fold."

The other three princesses exchanged amused glances that increased my determination to completely clean up by the time the night was over.

Luna requested three cards and Celestia took two for herself. Then the betting began. "I'll start off with three bits," said Celestia, pushing the amount onto the table.

"I'll call," said Cadance.

"We shall call and raise thee two, dear sister."

Celestia slowly nodded, but pushed two out. "I'll call that."

"Me too!" said Cadance.

"Very well, mares, show 'em!"

I have never heard Celestia use slang before. It kind of made sense to me when I thought about it, though. We weren't trying to be regal here. We were just playing poker. I have to admit: after everything that had happened to me recently, this was kind of nice.

Well it turned out that I was quite right to fold. Celestia smugly placed a pair of princesses and a pair of... princes on the table. I made a mental note to ask them just which ones were higher. Luna put three aces on the table and leaned back in her chair with a smug smile. "We believe that trumps two pair."

"Yeah? Well I think that a full house beats three of a kind, Auntie Lulu," said Cadance with her own smug smile. Sure enough, she put three fives and two sixes on the table. Luna groaned and facehooved while Cadance eagerly scooped up the nineteen bits she had won. She giggled as she used her magic to begin dealing out the cards again.

As I looked through my cards, I heard Celestia clear her throat. I glanced up at her to see that she was looking straight at me. "TD, I am glad that you obtained your cutie mark today, but I must ask this: why did you decide to be the princess of pastries? That was not something that we agreed on."

A wide grin split my face. "Well, that would be because I am aware of your fondness for cake. Twilight has told me that you partake in your fair share of it. Now I am the princess of it, and that means that I have power over it." I chuckled and looked back down at my cards. "Right?"

"Are you planning on eating a lot of it? said Celestia with a hint of stiffness. "Or is it simply a prank on your part?"

"A prank," I admitted as I pushed a bit into the pile. "A rather good one, is it not?"

"Indeed," said Celestia with even more stiffness. The other two princesses tried, but failed, to hold back their laughter. "You do realize this will not go unavenged, correct?"

I chuckled and put three cards on the table. "I would expect nothing less."

Cadance exchanged my cards, and I was quite delighted by them. I didn't show it, though. I had long since learned to have a poker face. It had served me quite well in high school.

"Okay, mares. Just like last time, let's start with three," said Cadance.

"You're on and I'll raise you two!" I shot back.

Luna grimaced and put her cards on the table. "We fold," she groaned.

"I'll see you and raise you five," Celestia retorted.

Ooh. If this wasn't an attempt to get back at me for becoming the princess of cake, I'm not sure what was. I'm sure something more was in store for me, but she'd start here. I smirked at her and pushed the bits onto the table. "You are so on."

"Same here!" Cadance chirped. She pushed seven bits onto the table. "Alright, called. Show them."

I smiled and put my cards down. Flush of spades. Cadance clicked her tongue and put her three eights on the table. Celestia raised an eyebrow at my hand, but sighed and put her cards down. Three princesses.

"And that's me," I said happily, gathering up the thirty bits and putting them in a neat stack. I took the cards from Cadance and began shuffling them. "So, you said that I'd be able to create my own guard. When will that be?"

"Well, I think that it would be prudent to start the selection process once you move to Baltimare," said Celestia as she pushed a bit onto the table. "You'll be pretty much on your own there."

"Makes sense." I began dealing the cards. "When will the move be?"

"Whenever you're ready, TD." Celestia pulled her cards closer to her. "I assume you would like that to be sooner rather than later."

I smirked and nodded. "Not that I don't enjoy the pleasure of your company."

Celestia chuckled and put two cards down. "The princess of snark and sarcasm you are."

I snorted and began exchanging cards.

"We suspect that thou hast a plan for your branch of the royal guard, do you not?" Luna said with a knowing smile. "Thou seems quite eager to initiate their creation."

I chuckled quietly and exchanged my own cards. "Oh, you know me too well, Luna." I snorted and called Luna's bet of four bits. "And I really do mean that."

"We don't get to know your plans for them, do we?" Cadance guessed.

I smiled proudly and shook my head. "Nopedy nopedy nope. My guards are my business until they are ready to begin active duty."

Celestia chuckled and called Luna's bid. "I look forward to it."

Do you know what none of you knew about Cadance? She's quite the card shark. I mean, the night didn't last as long as I thought it would because Cadance kept winning. I'm just glad that Luna was out before I was. That probably had to do with my experience with poker coupled with some good luck.

Having said all of that, the night was quite good. I didn't quite expect to see the other three princesses so relaxed and laid back, but it was kind of refreshing. I hate to admit it, but it started to shift my perspective on them a touch. Not enough that I didn't have some resentment towards Luna and Celestia for, you know, breaking my spine and tearing me away from all I knew and loved, but I was starting to feel more comfortable around them.

I'm not sure how I felt about that. I'm also not sure how I felt about me being so comfortable around all of them. Sure, poker nights are awesome in any dimension, and I had an absolute blast. Still, when I thought about it, I realized that I was kind of getting... comfortable with the whole 'me as an alicorn princess' thing. That I did not like. Yeah, I was only tolerating this for now because I was getting some cool stuff out of it, like my own guard that I had deliciously mischievous plans for, but once I got powerful enough I was going to expend all of my free time looking for a cure.

Though... maybe I'd spend some of that time looking to see if I couldn't get Twilight to ascend in my place. This was her destiny, after all. Not mine.

I sighed and laid back in my temporary chambers in the palace. I settled into the cloud-filled mattress--pegasi were right to favor those--and stared up at the ceiling. Now that I had a moment to reflect, I was kinda... worried about how much I was settling into this. I didn't want to be an alicorn princess. End of story. Fate could deal me this hand--heh... poker puns--but I didn't have to take it with grace and dignity.

"Focus, TD," I muttered. "Focus on what's important. You can have your fun, but get back to being a human."

I nodded to myself and slowly closed my eyes. "Focus. You're a human. Forget this pony body. You're a human."

The more I thought about it, the less I liked the situation. I had money, power, ponies who would bow to me--I especially hated that part--and a position that others would kill to have. Just my luck that the one being in all of this universe who didn't want this is the one who got it.

Figures.

Author's Notes:

My next Wanderings chapter is complete and halfway edited. expect tomorrow, as well as a longer chapter of this one. Maybe another Interesting Date chapter. Heck, I might even update Gwenwyn too.

That's for me to know and you to find out.

Baltimare

As per my request, the move to Baltimare was quickly set up. Despite the success I'd had with the public, I opted to remain out of the public eye for now. It was tiring, and I wasn't quite sure that I was completely ready for it. Of course, Celestia was quite right when she said that she'd get revenge on me for going over her horn and becoming the princess of her favorite food.

Law books.

I had to study Equestrian law between the speech and my move to Baltimare. I had been lying down in my bed and just looking out at the night sky when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to see Celestia, sans regalia, positively beaming at me and levitating a stack of at least ten ominously thick books. "Good evening, TD," she chirped. "How are you this fine evening?"

I stared suspiciously at the books as if I expected them to attack me, but stepped aside to let her in. "I'm good, I guess..."

"Spectacular." Celestia walked over to a table and plopped the books on it. "If you're going to be a princess, you're going to have to know all Equestrian laws including..." Celestia ignited her horn and lifted a book thicker than my head from the pile. "The history of desserts in Equestria." She tossed the book over to me, but I was still getting the hang of levitation, so it hit my right on the nose and bounced onto the floor. It flipped open and I stared into its horrifying depths.

"Twelve point font and sparse pictures, of course," she said with a smile. I raised my head with a death glare on my face, but her serene smile never left hers. "If that is unacceptable, you can revoke your claim as the princess of pastries." She chuckled softly and pointed to my flank. "It would be a shame if you went against your cutie mark."

I'm ashamed to admit it, but she won that round. The entire time I was in my room out of the public eye I was forced to read those law and history books. Did you know that Equestria has a law that states that it's illegal to grow sugar and apples on the same farm? I mean, what the heck is that all about? Supposedly there was a reason but I think that I kind of lost over that part.

Needless to say, by the end I was getting ready to support Equestrian book burnings by the end of the week. I vowed to get my revenge on Celestia by revoking some of these sillier laws if I could. I was the princess of pastries, so I had the final say on them. Celestia had no more say in them than I had power over the sun.

But, after three weeks of mind-numbing awfulness that was Equestrian law, with promise of further study over the course of forever, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance finally agreed that I was ready to move to Baltimare. Once I was settled, they were going to lend me Shining Armor and Night Stalker, the stone faced Captain of Luna's bat-ponies, to create the fourth branch of the Equestrian guard.

Given that I didn't have much stuff, what I did have was moved from Ponyville, we didn't need to spend a lot of time loading the train that we were going to be arriving on. Of course, I had quite the stack of law books that Celestia would be giving me. 'An ascension present,' Celestia had called it.

She really didn't like that I was the princess of cake now, did she?

So it had come to pass that Luna, Celestia, Cadance, Shining Armor, Night Stalker, and a dark green maned, teal pegasus mare in simple, sleek, powder blue armor, and I were sitting on a train to Baltimare. I was staring out the window, watching the Equestrian countryside go by. Cadance and Shining Armor were talking to each other, as were Luna and Celestia. Night Stalker? I hadn't heard him say more than three words. He merely gave me one nod and a single wing salute when he met me.

Weirdo.

As the train ride went on and the chatter between us was rather low, I decided that I had enough of reading law for a moment. I was admittedly curious about the mare. She was sitting in the corner of the train car. She was constantly scanning the car is if she expected something to jump out at us, a group of the most powerful ponies in the world, at any second. I put my book down and trotted up to her. She fixed me with her gaze when she saw me approach, and got to her hooves. She extended her wings and bowed her head, tilting her wings forward as she did.

"Princess Antares."

I groaned almost inaudibly and waved my hoof. "No need for that."

She straightened up and sat back down on the seat. "Very well. I assume you want to go by TD, then?"

I snorted and sat down next to her. "I assume I shouldn't bother asking how you know that? Celestia didn't tell anypony outside of Shining Armor and Night Stalker. She even forced the ponies in Ponyville who knew it to keep quiet."

The mare smirked at me. "Even if she did, it's my job to know the goings on in Equestria." She extended a hoof to me that I shook. "My name is Raining Skies: Commander of Her Majesty Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Blade-Wing Regiment."

I raised my eyebrow. "I didn't know Cadance had her own guard."

Raining Skies snorted. "Well then we're doing our job, aren't we?" She chuckled and shook her head. "We were formed after Princess Cadenza's foalnapping at the hooves of Queen Chrysalis at Prince Shining Armor's insistence." Raining Skies fixed Cadance in her gaze. "Princess Cadenza agreed, but only if she could do it her way. So she created us." She glanced back at me. "Given that you now have the highest security clearance in the land, I assume you're curious.

I nodded. "A little. Not every day you learn about a new branch of the military."

Raining Skies nodded. "Yeah, well, like I said: we're doing our job, then." She shook her head and waved her hoof. "Anyway, Princess Cadenza recruited around two-hundred or so crack troops to blend in around Equestria and report suspicious goings on and generally play peacekeepers if we needed to. We have authority to disguise ourselves as any branch of the military or police force we deem necessary, even the Wonderbolts if we need to."

"Wouldn't that be kind of... obvious?" I flinched back at Raining Skies' glare. "I mean, impersonating a public figure would make it easy to be spotted, right?"

"No!" She scoffed. "We wouldn't be very good at our jobs if we stuck out like that. Wigs, makeup, costumes, magical disguises, it's all part of the game." Raining Skies' glare faded away into a mischievous smile. "I do such a good Spitfire that not even your friend Rainbow Dash knew the difference when I impersonated her after a show."

"Why were you impersonating Spitfire?" I asked.

Raining Skies shrugged. "Eh, just a little scouting work that turned out to be nothing. The Wonderbolts know when to stop asking questions."

"I see. So your main job is espionage."

Raining Skies nodded. "We have to be the eyes, ears, right hoof, and protector of Princess Cadenza. The changeling invasion showed the crowns that there were weaknesses in our defenses, and the Blade-Wings fill those defenses." She shrugged again. "Most ponies know of us, but they don't know who and were we are. Some of us higher-ups don our official armor for big events like this, but we prefer to stay in the shadows."

"Interesting." I tapped my lower jaw. "So... any Blade-Wings in Ponyville?"

"Yep. Trust me, you know some of them too. With Ponyville the danger zone that it is on top of the fact that it's where all six Elements of Harmony live, it behooves us to keep a close eye on it."

A big part of me wanted to ask who, but I felt that was kind of overstepping my bounds a little bit. The fact that her gaze kept flickering over to Cadance kind of gave me the idea that she felt that she was being a little disloyal, giving this much information to me. I decided that I had asked enough. So, I said my goodbyes to Raining Skies, with the promise from her that we'd interact again, and went back to my seat.

I wasn't quite thrilled that I still had law books to read, so I decided to flip on my computer and watch a movie. I used a pen to click the keys. I was becoming more dexterous with my magic, and I even managed to put my headphones on.

However, as the train ride continued, even the relaxing awesomeness that was Die Hard wasn't enough to erase the increasing feeling of dread as we came closer to Baltimare. Sheesh, I was actually going to have to rule over cartoon horses, wasn't I?

Celestia must have noticed my increasing discomfort, and she excused herself from her conversation with Luna and sat down next to me. She smiled comfortingly at me and wrapped a wing around my shoulders. "How are you, TD?"

I glared at her. "How do you think? Not only have I been thrust into this, but I took the right to rule from a friend who deserved it more than I do." I sighed and looked down at my hooves. "On top of not being human anymore. I'm not sure what the worst part about that is, actually."

Celestia nodded and squeezed me tighter. "I was the same way when I came to power. Raising the sun every morning? That kind of thing is intimidating."

"Yeah, I get that." I ran a hoof through my mane. "I know my magic will develop, and believe you me, when it does I'm going to descend, but I can't even fly!"

Celestia lightly laughed. "Well it will come in time, but I think the best first step is teaching you proper wing care." She poked one of my wings. "I can help preen you if you want."

My eyes narrowed, and I tightened my jaw. "Celestia, if you ever ask to preen me again, I will forgo being a human again, spend all of my efforts on dethroning you and Luna, dissolving the nobility, and appointing the Ponyville foals in their place."

Celestia raised an eyebrow and folded her wings back at her side. "So you're telling me that if I ask to help preen you, you'll replace the nobility with children?" I deepened my scowl and nodded. "TD, would you like it if I preen--"

I groaned and cut her off with a wave of my hoof, but despite myself, I couldn't help but crack a small smile. "Okay, I'll give you that one."

Celestia chuckled and looked over at my computer when John McClane was busy being John McClane. "I’m curious as to what this is. Twilight told me that you had movies on this device, but she never went into... into..." Celestia's words died down, and she leaned in closer to the computer screen to get a better look. "Did that human just jump off of an exploding building?"

I grinned and nodded proudly. "Celestia, there are a few facts of life that you have to accept. One of them is that John McClane is, and always will be, better than you. He will always be better than me too, so it's nothing personal."

Celestia shook her head in disbelief, but she continued watching for a few moments. We didn't get to watch much more than that as the most horrible thing that I could imagine happened: the train stopped.

We were here.

Oh dear.

I gulped and shut my computer off. Celestia took it from me and gently placed it back in my suitcase for me. Even from here I could hear the noise of the no doubt immense crowd that had gathered to meet the now four Equestrian princesses. I took a deep breath and fluttered my wings, surprised at how moving two new appendages was a reflex now. Celestia put a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "It will be okay."

"Right," I muttered. I followed Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to the wide entrance to out royal car. "Right."

The door slid open and I was immediately assaulted with the sight of dozens of flashbulbs going off every second. I almost instinctually lifted a foreleg to cover my eyes, but Celestia's horn began glowing, and the sharpness of the light went down. The camera's kept flashing, but it wasn't as bright before. I made a note to remember that one.

Shining Armor and Night Stalker directed a few nearby guards to part the crowd for us, and we walked through the throng. The other three princesses smiled and waved at the gathered ponies, but I was beginning to feel a little sick to my stomach. Why? Well, let's just say that they weren't there for Celestia and Co. Each and every one of the ponies in the crowd was hardly paying attention to them. All eyes, and cameras, were fixed directly on me. I was already hearing shouts of praises, requests, adoration, and the like. Each and every one of them was there to witness a historic event. Each of them was going to tell their grandfoals that they were there the day Princess Antares came to rule Equestria alongside the Royal Sisters.

I had hoped that they would have gotten it out of their systems when Luna returned, but not so much, apparently.

I had hoped that we could just get into some covered carriage and be done with it, but it turned out that there was a whole parade thing set up. A large golden throne adorned a gigantic float pulled by no less than thirty guards decked out in full armor. No prizes for guessing who had to sit on it.

I fixed Celestia with a subtle glare as we walked up to it. "The law books weren't enough?" I growled.

Celestia gave me an apologetic smile. "They set this up for you, TD. You can set precedent once you begin your stay, but it would be wise to humor them for today. You just have to smile and wave."

Remember what I said oh so long ago about me likely teaching fifth-graders in a small Colorado town like the one I lived in before this mess? That wasn't me aiming low; that was actually what I wanted to do with my life. I would have been content with that. Silly me, though, I had to sit on top of a large throne while possibly tens of thousands of ponies cheered me and sang my praises.

I hadn't even friggin' done anything yet!

The parade in my honor was two hours of sheer torture. I could only smile and wave while the deafening cheers of the ponies in one of Equestria's largest cities rang through my ears.

Sheesh. When I saw the second episode of the show, Luna came back to the praises of about two dozen ponies and a Pinkie Pie party. Sure she had to go through this after that, but she was used to it already! Or at least she remembered how to deal pretty quickly. Me? I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and shut the world out.

Of course, that would mean more law books, so blegh there.

Well, the wretched event did finally end, and I found myself at the steps of what looked like an old army base that seemed to have gone through a deep repair session to make it fit for a princess. A whole two platoons were posted around it, holding the crowd at bay long enough for me to get off of the stupid float - thank goodness for that - and walk beside the other three into my new home. We were flanked by the heads of the three guard branches, and they lead me inside.

I was glad for small favors in that the base was not lavishly decorated. it seemed simple and practical. The limited decor was simple, and almost pleasant. The little things like the paintings and the soft carpets almost reminded me of the kinds of things that one would find in Ponyville. Clearly they wanted this place to actually feel like home to me.

"You can change this however you want to," said Celestia as we walked down the halls. "They royal treasury is yours to use within reason."

"I think I prefer it like this," I replied.

"I thought so." Celestia motioned to a set of double doors. "That is your room. We have done some re-building around here to make it more like a palace, but we have tried to keep its simple style. We chose this place because it is easily defensible."

I cocked my head as we reached the doors. "You expecting an attack on me?"

"Not a physical one, but..." Luna hesitated for a moment. "Thou doubtlessly observed the behavior of the crowd this day. It would be unwise to not take precautions."

"Fair enough," I grumbled.

Celestia took my suitcase from the guard carrying it and dismissed him. She then ignited her horn and threw the double doors open revealing...

Pretty much the exact same setup that I had back in Ponyville.

It was all there, really, with a few additions. I had a simple bed that was larger to accommodate my new size, I had a desk, a large bookcase, a bathroom, a small kitchen... it was like they took my house and just plopped it in here after making a few upgrades.

"Huh." I walked over to the bed and pushed down on the mattress. It was slightly softer, and the sheets and pillows had gotten a slight upgrade. "Even with the light decor out there, I expected something more extravagant in here." I turned my head to the smiling princesses. "This isn't exactly what one expects when they think of a ruler's room, after all."

"Well, this is your room," said Cadance as she motioned around with her hoof. "Only you are allowed into it, so it can be whatever you want it to be."

"We figured that this would be preferable, TD Powell," said Luna. "Were our guesses correct?"

I cracked a small smile and sat down on the bed. "Y-yeah. Yeah, I like this."

"Well then we will leave you to your rest." Celestia put my suitcase down next to the bed. "We will take up residency in one of the hotels around Baltimare. We will stay as long as you need us to."

"Then I'm on my own," I muttered. Celestia nodded and I took a deep breath. "Okay."

Celestia nodded. "We will leave detachments of all of our guards until you create your own. Simply send one of them should you require something."

Well, that was pretty much it on their end for the night. I bade them goodbye and closed the door behind them when they left. I was thankful that Celestia hadn't left me a stack of law books, though she did mention something about a tutor back on the train, so I presumed she was giving me the night off.

Speaking of night, it wasn't more than ten minutes or so before the sun began lowering in the sky. I trotted over to a nearby window and stared out of it. To my delight, I actually managed to see Ponyville on the horizon.

Huh... never thought that I'd miss it.

Author's Notes:

I know that this chapter, particularly the end, was a little more on the drama side, but I write Dramedies with TD. (When will Knighty or whoever put a 'Drama' tag on the site?) Anyhoo, next chapter will be funnier, I promise. we get to find out TD's guard plans, and some familiar faces show up again.

Also, I did some thinking and I figured out a solid direction to take this. I think you will like where this will go.

... I hope you do.

Oh, and one last thing. If you think that he's getting comfortable with his new body and has accepted it...

Think again.

The Royal Guard of Princess Antares

I was awoken some time later by what felt like somebody jumping on my bed. I cracked one eye open and was surprised to find Raining Skies of all ponies bouncing on the hoof of my bed. I scowled at her and sat up. "Do you always wake up princesses this way?"

Raining Skies giggled and hopped off of my bed. "Only when Prince Shining Armor is away. It would be awkward otherwise."

I rolled my eyes and slid out of bed. I glanced in the mirror to check my hair and discovered, to my delight, that it looked pretty good. I slipped on my regalia and turned to Raining Skies. "So, I take it the first order of business is creating my guard?"

Raining Skies shook her head. "The first order of business is breakfast." I rolled my eyes, and Raining Skies giggled again. "Yes, after that it's time to create your guard. You should be pleased. We've been saying that you need one for some time now, and here is your chance to create it. Ponies have been coming from all over Equestria." Raining Skies smirked and trotted over to the window. "The Baltimare inns and motels are going to have an early Hearth's Warming Eve this year."

I flinched slightly and began following Raining Skies towards the dining hall. "So, how many am I looking at here?"

Raining Skies sighed, and her playful demeanor slipped a little. "Oh, about four thousand or so applicants. They've all had to fill out applications, just like a real job, and we've started screening some of the ponies who flat out couldn't join for age reasons and health concerns. That kind of thing."

I nodded and opened the door to the dining hall. Like the rest of the base, it was pretty simple. It was just a large oak table and no real decorations to speak of. Just the way I like it: simplicity and efficiency rather than extravagance. I wanted to make this as painless as possible, and I wouldn't really care for living in the lap of luxury all the time.

I sat down at the head of the table where a large array of foods was laid. All of it vegetarian, of course.

I scanned the various foods before deciding on a plate of eggs, and some toast. I glanced over at Raining Skies as I levitated my fork over to me. "Anything here have hay? I'm not sure if I'm allergic to it as a pony, but I'm not quite sure that I want to risk it."

Raining Skies shook her head. "I'm well aware of your hay allergy. I made sure the chefs didn't make anything with it."

I raised my eyebrow as I speared some eggs. "Really? You know about my hay allergy?"

"Yep." Raining Skies smirked at me. "It wasn't too hard. All we had to do was gain access to your medical records." She chuckled and sat down next to me. "Oh, we know pretty much everything about you from where you're from to what you teach the Ponyville foals in Cheerilee's class."

"Really?"

"Every lesson."

"Hmm." I mulled that over as I chewed my eggs. "So is Cheerilee one of the Blade-Wings?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Raining Skies smiled, and I noted a hint of smugness behind it. "It's just that the foals take notes, and their parents read said notes when the foals aren't looking and report back to me."

I snorted and waved my fork at her. "You tricky, tricky, pony."

Raining Skies shrugged. "Like I said: it's my job to know the goings on in Equestria. We wanted to know everything about you that we could, and that was a good opportunity." Raining Skies smirked again. "Besides, you looked far too happy when you lectured in front of the D.O.R.K.S. Those of us in the audience figured that something was up.

I chuckled and swallowed the last of my eggs. "Well, color me impressed."

The door opened behind us, and a servant came in carrying a tray in his magical glow. Celestia had told me something about lending me certain ponies from her staff until I could get my own. No prizes for guessing that there would be thousands of applicants there as well.

As it turned out, the servant was carrying quite the stack of papers on the tray. I supposed that I would be helping sort through the guard applications. He placed them in front of me and exited with a bow. Yuck. If this stack was placed on the floor, it would easily be higher than my hooves. Thankfully Raining Skies saw fit to take a little less than half. No doubt that she was tired of sorting these things.

I sighed and started munching on my toast as I looked over the first application. Unicorn mare. Age 23. No physical defects, works as a blacksmith in Applewood. Special talent smithing. I nodded and put it down on the table. "This is the 'maybe' pile. These are ponies that have talents that might be useful in other areas pertaining to the guard if they can't get into the guard itself."

Raining Skies nodded and put an application in the 'maybe' pile. "Seems sound enough."

I returned her nod and picked up the next application. Pegasus mare. Age 17. No physical defects. Worked as a waitress in Baltimare. Special talent singing. I shook my head and put it in a separate pile. Too young. I informed Raining Skies of which one was the 'no' pile.

The next four hours were spent sorting through all of the applications. I was sort of glad to see that most of them went into the 'yes' pile, but at the same time it was sort of daunting. We had a lot to choose from, and I still wasn't sure how large I wanted my guard to be. Not to mention the cost of arming them, maintaining their equipment, paying them, providing living spaces, and so on. At the end of sorting all of the applicants, we were left with twenty-five hundred 'yeses', three hundred 'maybes', and thirteen hundred 'nos'. Of that, eight-hundred of the 'nos' or so were rejected based on age, so I added a note to their applications stating that they could re-apply once they were older.

I picked up the stack of 'yeses' with my magic and stared at the shorter, but still considerably large pile.

"We're going to need a big, big field or something for this."

Well, with the help of quite a few volunteers and guards, we managed to get everything in order for the guard recruitment. We sent the word out to all of the newspapers across the land, as well as had Celestia, Luna, and Cadance use their magic to send applications back to all of the applicants, as well as a date to begin the screening process. We set ten separate dates so that we would not be completely overwhelmed by a gigantic herd of ponies coming to Baltimare.

So, all in all it took about three weeks, but eventually I woke up to discover that the day had arrived where it was time to being the screening process. I put on my regalia and was escorted by the three captains to a large field on the outskirts of Baltimare where the screening process would take place. Well, it turned out that most of the applicants for that day had already shown up, and it was with some amusement that I saw tents scattered throughout the field.

I stepped onto a stage that had been set up for me. Ponies bowed to me as I walked by, something that was still weird to me, despite the large greeting I had received when I had arrived in Baltimare. They all stood at attention, or their best impression of it, as I stood in front of them. Shining Armor surreptitiously cast a voice amplifier spell on me, allowing me to be heard by all.

"Mares and gentlecolts: I thank you all for coming out today to see if you can join my guard. I warn you now that this will not be easy, particularly since I only have five hundred spots to fill and there are five times as many applicants, but I have faith that you will all give it your best shot." A mischievous smile crossed my face, and I heard Shining Armor shift beside me uncomfortably. "Now, aside from the normal guard training that will allow you to be keepers of the peace and protectors of the Equestrian citizens, there is a special skill that one must learn to succeed in my guard. The more experienced you are in it, the more likely that you will be allowed to join."

That got some murmurs out of the crowd. Even the normally stone-faced Night Stalker had a look of curiosity on his face when I mentioned that. Well, he would. I hadn't told anybody at all of what my plans were, but they'd know soon enough.

"I will be talking to you all in teams of twenty-five about what that skill will be. After I have told you, you are not to repeat what I have told you under penalty of your application being immediately revoked. That aside..." I motioned with a wing to the three captains. "These three will be dividing you in separate groups based on your race. They will put you through training based on your natural abilities that go with said race such as magic and flying." I gave a one-winged salute to the crowd. "Good luck to you all, and do your best."

"You'll need it," I said under my breath.

The group split up according to their races, and each one went through a different exercise. The pegasus ponies had to do a simple flying maneuver. Clear, fly, fall, complete. It was a simple task, so most of the ones that I saw completed it with no problem. However, those that didn't were sent home. It did kinda suck to see hopeful pegasi being told that they hadn't met the standards, but most of them understood that the guard needed to have ponies who could be good soldiers. If they couldn't do basic maneuvers, then I can't have them in the guard.

The unicorn's test was pretty simple too. Basically we set up a ton of dummies, and they had to hit it with some sort of offensive spell. Sometimes that was like a knock-back spell, or a stunning spell, or the like. Some ponies even had some fire spells. They almost definitely made it in. Some of them got creative and picked up rocks and branches. That showed that they could hold weapons.

The earth ponies were trickier to set up courses for, but we settled on doing some basic attack formations while using their natural strength to fight dummies. As was usual, those who seemed to at least have a passing ability to complete the tasks set by us were kept on, while the rest of them were sent home, often to much disappointment.

So, at the end of day one, we found ourselves with one hundred out of the original two-fifty. If that repeated we'd still have a thousand potential guards for half that many spots. Still, they hadn't gone through my training yet, and as such, I could still probably weed out some of them from the pack. In groups of twenty-five, I brought them back to a private room in the palace. I, of course, ordered Raining Skies to not send any of her troops in with me. Three hopefuls dejectedly trotted back over to their commander.

Yeah. I thought so.

It took just under two hours to teach the guards what I wanted them to know, during which point I had to cut another dozen or so when they found themselves unwilling to do what I asked. It was unfortunate, but I had a very specific guard setup in mind.

But all in all? I thought that the first day was a rousing success.

That evening saw the three captains and I in the dining hall, enjoying a meal of basic sandwiches. Raining Skies and Night Stalker were giving the remaining profiles a last once-over, while Shining Armor was staring at me pensively. I swallowed my bite of sandwich and smirked at him. "Something up, Mr. Armor?"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "You know, TD, ever since you came to Equestria I've been trying to figure you out. I understand your overall motivations, but that doesn't mean that I can always figure out what you're going to do next."

I widened my smirk and poured myself some water. "Good. If you did then life would be boring. You'd try to stop some of my better ideas."

"Like what you're planning with your guard?"

Precisely." I chuckled and took a sip of my water. "I think you'd find it uncouth."

Shining Armor's eyes narrowed, but he held his tongue. The only sound for a few moments was the rustling of documents, but it was Night Stalker that spoke up first. "You're a mischievous one, but you'll get yours eventually." He carefully placed the final document down. "Just wait until you go into heat for the first time."

My pupils dilated and my left ear twitched while Raining Skies flattened hers. I bit my lip and leaned in closer to her. "He's joking, right? Princesses don't go into heat, do they?"

Raining Skies uneasily shrugged. "I don't know. Never thought it polite to ask."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "Anyway, have you found anybody right for some of the higher-up positions? I'm going to need a captain."

Night Stalker nodded and pushed a small stack forward. "These three look good for today's crop. We'll have to see who's good for the rest of them."

"We also have some ponies that have sent armor designs," said Raining Skies. She pulled another stack of papers out of a messenger bag. "You can look them over when you have the chance."

I nodded and ignited my horn, stacking all of the papers together, alternating which direction they faced so I could sort them easily. "Well, mare and gentlecolts, I believe that I shall turn in for the night." I took a deep breath. "We've got a busy nine days ahead of us."

Boy did we ever. It was pretty monotonous too.

Sure it was pretty cool getting to meet some of my potential future soldiers, and it was awesome seeing some of the spells the unicorns could do. We were kind of running low on dummies by the end, though.

Well, finally the ten days were over, and we were down to about six hundred and fifty potential guards. We were getting there, but we still had a little ways to go. We had taken some of the potential guards and given them more advanced training, and if they passed then they were a lock for the guard on top of being considered for more advanced positions. Thanks to that, we had about a hundred locked in.

One of the more interesting things was seeing the armor made. It was pretty standard guard armor, but instead of the gold of Celestia's or the purple of Luna's, it was crimson. They were also enchanted so that each pony wearing them turned a soft peach color. The aesthetic was kind of nice. The locked in guards were sent to be fitted for their armor the moment they were accepted.

Well, since we hadn't narrowed the list down to the proper amount, the non-locks, so about five hundred or so ponies were asked to stay on for some additional tests. They were tested on weapon handling, taking orders, maneuvers, and so on, all set by the three captains. As usual, I brought them back for more training on their new special prerequisite.

Well, it was hard to turn away the ponies that had gotten so far, but eventually we were down to the five hundred I required. I did ask the one-fifty to undergo training to be reserves in case I needed them, which seemed to soften the blow for them.

The best part, though? I found my captain of the guard and his lieutenant. The captain was a red unicorn stallion a little smaller than Big Macintosh named Burning Blaze. He was one of the ponies who was adept at fire spells, on top of being one of the best at the special training I had them undergo. His lieutenant was a aquamarine pegasus mare named River Rapids. Also adept at my special training, but one of the fastest mares I've seen this side of Rainbow Dash. She had a brilliant tactical mind too.

My guard was ready.

Er... almost. The barracks still needed to be updated, we still needed to gain the materials to arm most of them, and so on, but I at the very least had enough ready for a demonstration to the rest of the princesses. I gave them a message that I was ready to present a portion of my guard for them. They responded quite promptly that they would be in Baltimare within the next day or two. They had left pretty early on after observing a few training sessions.

So now, I was standing in front of my palace with thirty of my guards standing at attention. I was flanked on either side by Burning Blaze and River Rapids. I took a deep breath and smiled as the familiar sight of chariots that could only have belonged to a few ponies appeared on the horizon. Within a few minutes, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance landed in front of us. Their respective captains moved over to them and bowed before accompanying their princesses towards me. I inclined my head as my guards saluted.

"Good afternoon, TD," said Celestia with a smile and a return nod. "It seems your efforts have been productive."

"Oh they most certainly have been. I have armor smiths working on making the rest of their armor and arms, and so forth." I motioned over to Captain Blaze. "I even have my officers."

The princesses nodded and took a few steps closer. Luna walked in front of Captain Blaze and gave him a greeting nod. "So, we take it thou art Princess Antares' Captain, yes?"

With that, Captain Blaze scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh brilliant, princess. You figure that one out all on your own?"

The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. The three princesses, Shining Armor, and Night Stalker stared at Burning Blaze like he had grown a second head, while I beamed proudly at him. Raining Skies was the first to register what had just happened, and she tried her best to hold back a little snort of laughter.

Luna's ear twitched, but she managed to regain enough control to narrow her eyes and flare out her wings. "How dare thee," she growled. "How dare thou speakest to Us in such a manner?!"

"That was quite foolish of you, Captain," Celestia snapped. "I am going to suggest to Princess Antares that you be removed from your post!"

Lieutenant Rapids snorted. "Oh yeah, because Captain Blaze is so dumb that he'd say something like that without good reason."

"Thou shalt be removed from thy post as well!" Luna snarled. "Be grateful that We do not throw you in the dungeons!"

"Well, my palace doesn't exactly have a dungeon," I admitted, "but it's irrelevant in this situation anyway."

Luna narrowed her eyes at me. "What dost thou mean?"

A wide smile crossed my face, and I puffed out my chest proudly. "Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Princess Celestia, meet my very own Royal Snarcasti-guard. Half sarcasm, half snark, all awesome." My wide smile turned into a smirk. "Now, they won't be like this all the time; only around stupidity and ridiculousness of the wrong kind." I shrugged. "They won't talk to you like that again unless you say something really stupid. I just wanted to showcase their considerable abilities."

Cadance was the next one to figure it all out, and she chuckled quietly while her husband facehooved. Celestia looked pensive while Luna seemed rather angry if her glare was any indication.

"TD... are all of your guards trained to employ sarcasm?" Celestia questioned.

"Yep. Every last one of them. That includes the reserves."

Celestia stared at the two of them for a few more moments, but she slowly sighed and applied hoof to face.

"TD... I don't..."

Author's Notes:

Well, I hope the guard is everything you were hoping it would be.

Also, on a side note, for those of you who don't know, I released yet another TD story (don't worry, I will keep up). For you TD's Little Rarity fans, here is TD's Little Rarity 1.5: This Time It's Personal

The Coronation of Princess Antares

Well, it goes without saying that Princess Celestia's expression was a personal favorite of mine where she was concerned: she looked like she was about to bash her head against a wall because her brain was still trying to figure out what had happened. Luna, for her part, still looked quite irked with my captain and lieutenant, but she seemed less inclined to send them to the moon. Cadance and Shining Armor were facehoofing me, and Night Stalker had reverted back to his normal stoicism. Despite that, I could see a hint of a glower in his eyes. Raining Skies, though? If she thought it would have been allowed, she would have collapsed onto the ground, laughing her head off the whole time. I'm glad that somebody appreciated it, at least. I thought it was a stroke of genius.

Celestia sighed again and shook her head. "I was, admittedly foolish to not think that you might do something like this. I thought that I knew you better."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I thought that you would have seen this coming a mile away, yes." My smirk returned. "I think it's a nice touch to what I assure you is quite the capable fighting force."

Luna squeaked slightly, and when I looked at her she seemed about to blow a vein. "N-nice touch?! This is not befitting of a royal guard of Equestria!" Her eyes narrowed and she leaned forward so that her snout was almost touching mine. "This is utter nonsense!"

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men," I responded evenly. A twinkle returned to my eye. "So those wise men must be ecstatic."

Luna's left eye twitched, and she doubtlessly wanted to blast me away. She probably would have if not for the fact that it would have been a terrible idea. "Thou art not showing thy station proper respect, Antares." Luna's eyes narrowed. "We think that We may join you in your endeavor to reverse your ascension. You clearly are not taking these matters seriously!"

I chuckled and patted Luna on the head. I was playing a dangerous game, but I wouldn't play it if I wasn't sure I would win. "Oh Luna, you must think more practically. You see, if I want you to be, you're all my prisoners."

Luna's glare faded, and was replaced by a bemused expression; one mirrored by everybody else. "We do not understand what you mean, Antares. Thou art not yet powerful enough to defeat any of us here."

I chuckled again. "Oh, I think I might be." I turned my gaze to the sky, my beaming smile never leaving my face. "A good military leader knows the advantages of a good distraction tactic, and you were so mad that Captain Blaze disrespected you, that I could have had you all defeated by now."

Luna's frown deepened, but she followed my gaze and gasped when she saw what I was getting at. The rest of the visitors looked around too, and they were no less shocked by what they saw.

A large portion of my army was out in full force, all armed to the teeth and pointing their weapons at the princesses and captains. Pegasi armed with crossbows were aiming their weapons directly at the heads of all three princesses, while a group of unicorns powered down the camouflage spells that they had cast on them by a group of four unicorns, finding them was like finding the best players ever in a sports fantasy draft, and they had swords at the necks of the three captains. A ring of heavily armored earth ponies formed a half-circle around the group, and they were in turn covered by some of the aforementioned pegasi as well as another group of Earth ponies who had spears in between the earth pony shields.

Celestia turned her head back to me, her jaw nearly on the floor. I made a show of shrugging my shoulders and giving her a 'well, whaddya gonna do?' look. She blinked once and turned her attention back to the force gathered before her. "It's amazing how far a series of sound dampening spells go when you're mad at somebody for a sarcastic quip, isn't it?" I said with a chuckle.

The six ponies at my mercy continued to stare open-mouthed at the fact that I had totally just gotten a one-up on them. One of the pegasus guards pointing his crossbow at Celestia snorted.

"Man, you guys just got owned."

"Absolutely uncalled for!"

"I thought it was pretty funny."

"It is as We said before: thou art not taking thy responsibilities seriously!"

Well, I had, of course, told my guards to step down and they went back to the makeshift barracks I had set up for them. They were high-hooving each other, and laughing about the whole thing amongst themselves. Yeah, none of the princesses or captains were really in any danger, but it was nice knowing that I could have totally ordered them into the dungeons, if I had one, if I wanted to.

We went back into what was to be my throne room, where Luna instantly began angrily pacing about.

"You will not be hearing the end of this!" she snarled.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh really? I'm going to get into trouble with you guys by proving that not only are my guards awesomely sarcastic, but that we can use it as a tactical advantage if we need to?" I faked a frown. "I think you're just mad that I got one on you."

"I'll admit that the demonstration was... impressive," said Celestia, who had had a pensive look on her face ever since my guards dispersed. "You clearly put more thought into them than just their verbal capabilities."

I straightened up slightly and beamed. "Yep." I shot Luna a sideways glance. "I think the only reason dear Lulu is mad is because I scored a little victory that she didn't expect." I let out an amused scoff. "Come on, admit it: all things considered, it was an impressive move."

Luna glared at me, but I knew that once she figured out all of the pieces, she knew that she couldn't deny that I had actually had a plan the entire time as opposed to just doing it to make her look like a fool.

Okay, there was a little of that too, but still.

"It matters not," Luna said finally. "You have your guard, and it will suffice as a protective force."

It was as close to an admission of victory that I was going to get out of her, but I took it. I glanced over at Celestia who surprisingly had a small smile on her face. Of course, the smile clearly said 'this means more law books, but good job,' so I couldn't take any pleasure out of it.

Night Stalker for once looked a little shaken up. Not in the sense that he was nervous, but in the sense that he looked like he still wasn't quite sure what had just happened and how. No doubt he was looking for ways to counter it in the future.

Cadance and Raining Skies both looked vaguely amused, but I could also sense that there was a hint of unease there. Shining Armor, for his part, was glaring at me and standing a little closer than usual to his wife. Eh. Let him. I wasn't ever going to actually hurt any of them. Experience was the best teacher, and they just learned what kind of guard I'd just created.

Luna growled and waved a hoof. "We will put this matter aside. Should they never attempt to pull such a stunt again, We will let the matter slide." Luna glared at my two officers before continuing. "We have the matters of your coronation to discuss.'

My beaming smile fell, and a tight feeling welled up in my chest. That was it. Once the coronation was underway, I'd officially be a princess of Equestria. Thinking about it like that actually made me miss dishwashing back at school. Sure all of this was fun, and boy was it, but it was sobering to be reminded that it came with actual responsibilities. Millions of ponies would be looking up to me now. Maybe even worshiping me. That last one especially was an unpleasant thought.

I decided to hide my unease and simply gave Luna a single nod. "Yeah. We should probably get to that." I turned my attention to Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids. "This is one of the only times that I ask you to listen to Celestia and Luna's judgment. They are free to ask anything of the troops that they deem necessary. They do have more experience in this, after all. If you feel they are trying to manipulate you into doing something against me, you have my full permission to use the full extent of your snarcastiness against them, as do the rest of my troops."

The two saluted, and I turned back to the rest of the group. "Okay... what needs to be done?"

With the full might of all four guard branches as well as another veritable army of craftsponies, my palace looked like something that a royal goddess would live in. It reflected my overall personality: it was simple, practical, but not run-down. It was a very cozy place to live. Of course, my room was completely my own. I didn't even allow my personal guard in there. They had to stand outside the door. The only thing in it in the beginning was a comfortable bed, and a bookshelf with a lot of beginner's magic and beginner's flying books on them. I hadn't gotten a chance to actually begin utilizing them, but I promised that I would set aside time for me. Even though I was a princess, I was a new one. The other three realized that I needed time to take care of myself first.

Well, a week later, the day of my coronation arrived. It had taken that long to make everything look good, but one day I woke up with the sun in my eyes and realize that this was it. I was officially going to be a princess now. I scoffed quietly to myself and sat up in bed. I stared at the door, knowing that somebody was going to knock on it any moment now to tell me all of the things that had to be done that day, and I knew that it was going to be packed. To hear Celestia and Luna describe it, I wouldn't get to go to bed until very late this evening.

I slid out of bed and walked into my bathroom. I took a quick, hot shower, which definitely helped my nerves a little, and relished taking as much time as I wanted to make myself look good in my own eyes. I levitated a brush in my magical aura and ran it through my mane so that it looked like something other than a disheveled mess.

I took a deep breath and began brushing my teeth, admiring my cutie mark as I did. Never thought that I'd get one. Heck, I remember back when I first came here and I was talking with Apple Bloom. She was lamenting the fact that she didn't have a cutie mark, and I made her giggle when I pointed out that she'd have hers before I ever got one. Guess I was wrong about that, then, wasn't I?

It might have been a sappy thing to do, but I walked back over to my bed and closed my eyes, remembering the small-town pleasures that Ponyville had to offer. Fishing quietly with Apple Bloom, teaching Cheerilee's class about Earth, slowly closing the door and going back to bed whenever I woke up and discovered that the town was doing a big song-and-dance number, it was all part of my life there. I had accepted that I wasn't going to be able to go back to Earth back then, so I did my best to carve out a relatively peaceful life for myself. Now that was gone.

Sheesh. It was like I had some sadist writing out my life; making the worst possible stuff happen to me whenever I got even a little comfortable with how things were going.

It would actually explain quite a bit.

Speaking of that, my reverie was interrupted when a loud knocking sound appeared on the other side of my door. I slowly nodded, resigning to myself the fact that the whirlwind day was about to begin. I took a deep, calming breath and walked over to my door. I opened it and poked my head out, revealing Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. I nodded to them and exited my room.

After a small breakfast of toast and tea, the day began. Celestia was decently happy with how my mane and tail looked, but she still had a hair stylist go through it just to make sure that it looked absolutely perfect. After that, I put on my default regalia, but I could tell that somebody had been up for quite a while, polishing it and making sure it looked absolutely perfect. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance had all planned on wearing big, lavish outfits, but I talked them out of it. If I wasn't it was going to look awkward if they weren't going to either. They settled on wearing slightly more ornate versions of their own, normal regalia. Celestia assured me that I'd get some too for fancy occasions.

Overall, the morning was just about making sure that I was ready to face the crowd of ponies that I was going to be ruling for a long time. It was one of those mornings that seemed to drag on forever, but every hour that passed made the one before it feel like it had gone by in a second. Frankly all I could do was just keep taking deep breaths and try to avoid the increasing feeling of dread welling up inside of me. I was going to mess up. I was completely sure of that.

Well, the balance of things went a little my way when Celestia finally told me that I was going to have a few minutes to myself in the immediate time before the coronation, so that's where I found myself once my brain activity died down a little, and I was allowed to think straight. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids had spent the entire day standing dutifully at my side, but I had asked them to stand outside of the room.

I laid back on a rather comfortable couch and was even considering a small two minute nap when I heard the door open. I cracked an eye open to see Celestia smiling at me. "You have some visitors that would like to speak to you, TD."

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

"I assure you, you will enjoy their company." With that, Celestia closed the door. I was only allowed another moment or two of silence before the door opened again and in flooded the Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and, of all ponies, Cheerilee. The first nine were no surprise, but I was kinda touched that Celestia, or whoever had invited them to see me, had asked the closest pony that I had to a best friend with them.

All ten of them were dressed up, likely in Rarity designed outfits, and all of them were beaming at me. I chanced a glance at Twilight, and my heart sank a little when I saw that there was a little falseness behind her smile. Only a little though. Deep down I knew she was happy for me. I stood up to greet them, and was promptly given a crushing hug by all three Crusaders.

"Are you really going to be a princess, TD?" Apple Bloom asked excitedly.

"This is so cool!" Sweetie Belle squeed. "Ponyville is going to have a princess right next door!"

I chuckled and had to stop myself from affectionately ruffling up their manes. It wouldn't have mattered that I was a goddess; Rarity would have killed me. I opted instead for a little pat on the head for all three of them. "Yeah, it's true."

Scootaloo broke away from the hug and scoffed. "No offense, but it's a little weird hearing you with a girl's voice but still sounding like TD, ya know?"

I returned the scoff. "No kidding."

The adults gathered around me themselves, still smiling at me. "I take it that your threat to raze Ponyville if we bowed to you still applies?" Cheerilee joked.

I snorted and shook my head. "I guess it can't anymore, but I'll be irked if you guys do it. The rest of the kids at school, too. They know me too well to bow to me."

That didn't change the fact that Pinkie Pie was flat on her face, her forelegs making bowing motions in front of me. "You're the princess of cake now, TD." Pinkie raised her head and looked up at me with wide eyes. "Do you know that the Cakes already have pictures of you all over the store?! They even put a picture of you next to Pound and Pumpkin's crib so that you could watch over them at night!"

My ears flattened and an uncomfortable look crossed my face. "Uh... really?"

Pinkie stood up with a giggle. "Nah, I'm just kidding. I talked them out of that last one. I told them you'd think it was weird."

"Do I ever," I muttered under my breath.

"Oh but you must tell us how you are feeling, darling!" Rarity said as she used her magic to make sure my mane and regalia was on just right. "This must be nerve-wracking."

I groaned and rubbed one of my temples, something harder to do with hooves. "You have absolutely no idea. I don't think that I'd feel this nervous for my wedding. That's pledging my life to somebody I love. This is me promising to rule over an entire nation as part of a quadarchy, or whatever the heck this is.

Twilight chuckled and put a hoof on my shoulder. "I'm sure you'll do fine, TD." She inclined her head to the door. "We're here to give you moral support. They're waiting for you."

Any comfort that their presence gave me evaporated for a moment, but it returned when the Crusaders hugged my legs again. I took another deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Let's do this."

I opened up the door where Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids were waiting for me.

"Princess Celestia has asked me to inform you that we are to escort you to the throne room. After that, you will address your new subjects on the main balcony above it."

"Thank you, captain." I inclined my head and began following the two of them towards the throne room. As we walked, I leaned in next to Twilight. "Twilight? You can... you can bow out if you want, no pun intended. I get that this can't be easy for you."

Twilight's smile faltered slightly, but she shook her head all the same. "TD, I'm here for you. I know that you didn't ask for this, but I'm going to help you every way that I can. You're going to be fine."

I was about to respond, but Lieutenant Rapids cut me off with a snort. "Sheesh, get a room why don't you?"

Twilight's smile turned into a glower, but I shook my head at her with my own smile. "I'll explain later." She shot Lieutenant Rapids an uneasy glance, but she seemed to accept that I knew what the deal was.

Before I could think of anything else, we were at the throne room doors. My two officers directed my entourage to flank me: five on one side, five on the other. They opened the doors and the procession entered the throne room to the sound of trumpets blaring triumphant music. I would have picked The Imperial March personally, but what are you gonna do? Celestia didn't even consider for a moment allowing me to pick stuff like that. Not after how I had handled my guard creation.

As practiced, I went up to the throne alone, where Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were waiting for me. On top of a pillow resting on my simple golden throne was a golden tiara a little larger than Luna's but the same kind of style. The three of them bowed to me, and I returned it with my own bow as tradition supposedly dictated. Celestia then said a few words to the small crowd of ponies that I didn't really listen to. The whole thing was kind of a blur, and none of her words made it in. It's like my brain was still trying to process everything that was happening now that it was actually happening. I'm just glad that my brain figured everything out in time for my part.

"Antares, do you accept these responsibilities laid out before you? Do you vow to lead the ponies of Equestria with a just hoof, to watch over them and protect them, to ensure their safety and happiness to the best of your abilities?"

"Yes. I do."

Celestia nodded and ignited her horn. She lifted the pillow up and levitated it in front of me. Luna can Cadance ignited their own horns, and together they lifted the tiara into the air and placed it on my head.

"I crown thee Princess Antares, fourth ruler of Equestria and the princess of snark, sarcasm, foal services, education and..." Celestia faltered slightly, but it was noticeable enough. She recovered just as quickly. "... Pastries."

The second Celestia was done speaking, the crowd burst out into wild applause. This was it. I was a princess now.

*Sigh.* Yay for me.

I put on my best serene smile and waved to the crowd behind me. Celestia beckoned me onwards, and we ascended the stairs to the balcony overlooking the city of Baltimare. I was thankful that the others followed me up too. I needed their support. When we reached the edge of the balcony, I was greeted with the sight and sound of what must have been tens of thousands of ponies, all chanting my name and singing my praises. There were so many of them that I couldn't even see the edge of the crowd. It made sense, of course. I was a new princess, and they wanted to be there when the new princess was crowned.

Celestia subtly cast a voice amplifying spell on me, and I walked to the very edge of the balcony alone. I raised my hoof, and the crowd quieted down. Naturally the speech I had in my head evaporated as if it was never there at all, but I had to say something, of course.

"Hello and thank you all for coming out to see me today." The crowd cheered again, and I let them for a few moments. I also waited for the wave of flashbulbs ceased before continuing. "I just want to say how honored I am that you're all supporting me. This is... new for both of us, but you all seem to want to make it smooth for all of us." I took a deep breath as even improvised words left me. "Uh... so..."

Now, normally saying the first thing that pops into my head is a recipe for disaster. It leads to bad things most of the time. What I sad next was arguably one of those things, but I still regard it as one of my better decisions.

"There have been rumors floating around that I used to be the human known as TD before I came to be in this form. I know that not everybody knew that the human was around, but it became news both during the incident at the last Gala and when the rumors began going around that the human had become an alicorn princess. So, are the rumors true that I used to be human and now I'm one of the four princesses? Yes. Yes they are."

A loud gasp echoed throughout the crowd, and I didn't have to look to see that the ponies behind me on the balcony were just as shocked that I had told everybody that. Sure my guard knew, but the damage was done as far as the public was concerned.

I raised my hoof again, and the chattering died down. "Yes. It's true. Through means that I'm not at liberty to share, I ascended to become Princess Antares. I know that this must be a shock to you all, but know this: I just made a vow to protect and lead you to the best of my abilities. I'm not going to go back on that because I used to be human. I made a vow to serve the ponies of Equestria, and I'm going to do just that!"

The crowd erupted into full-blown cheering upon hearing that. I waved out to all of them for a few moments before walking back towards the rest of the ponies on the balcony, all of whom were beaming at me. I returned their smiles with a tired one of my own.

"I must admit, TD, I never thought that revealing your past would benefit you, but I think that your subjects will trust you more now that you have been honest with them," said Celestia. Her smile faded slightly. "I do not miss the irony that you are sometimes wiser than I."

I chuckled slightly, but I glanced over at Twilight. "Uh, you guys go on ahead to the reception. I want to have a talk with Twilight before I go, okay?"

The others gave me curious expressions, but didn't question me. I led Twilight to small room where I knew we wouldn't be disturbed by anyone else in the palace. I shut the door behind us, and turned around to see her looking sadly at me. "I know what you're going to say, so you might as well not say it."

I closed my eyes with a sigh and shook my head. "I can't imagine that was easy for you." I motioned to myself. "This. This is your destiny. Not mine." I opened my eyes and almost instinctively ran a hoof through my mane before remembering that I still had a reception to go to. "You know I never wanted this, but do you know why I actually accepted the offer to become royalty?"

Twilight's sad look faded, and was replaced by one of curiosity. She shook her head. "I have to admit that I did wonder. You never struck me as the kind of guy who would want this."

"And I'm not," I admitted, "but it's because I took this from you, however accidentally, that I decided to do this. I feel that it would be an insult to you if I was given what was yours, but just threw it away. In hindsight we both know that Celestia has been preparing for this for a while, but with you. If I ignored that, I'd almost feel like I'd be disrespecting you.

"But that's only one reason." I took a step forward and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Now that I'm royalty, I have access to resources that I would have never been able to get otherwise. I promise you that I will find a way to reverse this. I'll take my simple job in Ponyville, thank you very much. I'll find a way to give you your destiny back."

Twilight sighed and flattened her ears. "TD, you don't need to do that. You're a princess now. You have a responsibility to lead your new subjects."

"Would you have preferred that it was you who was hit by the Elements? Don't you want your destiny back?"

Twilight's moment of silence told me all that I needed to know. I took my hoof off of her shoulder and nodded. "I'm going to try to make it happen, Twilight. I know that you don't want to upset everything that's happened, but... can I at least try?"

Twilight looked back up at me, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. "I don't hate or resent you, TD. I know that you didn't want this to happen. But..." She looked back down to the floor again. "I-if you want to try, I don't suppose I could stop you." A wry smile crossed her face. "You're too stubborn to allow me to just order you to not do this."

I chuckled and nodded. "Well, you're absolutely right. I can't promise that I'll succeed, but I'm going to try to get you your destiny back."

Court and Blueblood

Now, as one can imagine, there are certain steps that one must take so they can go from magical neophyte to somebody who can change another pony's destiny back to what it should be, on top of reverting my own species back to a unique one in the Equestrian world. I had to do all of that while having just barely mastered levitation, and rule an entire nation, which included day court.

I had my work cut out for me.

I couldn't exactly worry about that right now, though. I had my first session in day court today. I pitied my poor snarcasti-guard, who were trying to corral what must have been three or four hundred ponies who wanted to see me into an organized line. I could hear the deafening chatter outside of my throne room, and I began shifting nervously on my seat. Thankfully Twilight, who had sat in on some court sessions while a protégé of Celestia's, was sitting beside me. She had agreed to be my consigliere for the day.

Yes, I said consigliere. Not adviser, seneschal, pony who whispers advice into my ear, nothing like that. My favorite movie was the combo of the first two Godfather films, and if I wanted to be TD and make Twilight my consigliere then by golly I was going to.

There was an added bonus in that Celestia figured that it was a mischievous reference on my part, but she didn't say anything because it was my court.

I shifted on my cushion and fluttered my wings nervously as I listened to the din outside of my throne room. Twilight gave me a small smile before adjusting her consigliere hat and re-arranging her writing materials.

Oh, didn't I say? My consigliere gets a consigliere hat. It's a dark blue baseball hat with the word 'consigliere' emblazoned on the front in orange letters. I had originally pitched it as a joke, but Twilight had shrugged and said that she'd be okay with it. Half an hour later: consigliere hat.

Anyway, I turned my attention to Twilight and leaned in next to her. "You ever been this involved in official court before?" I whispered.

She shook her head. "No. Celestia just let me sit in every once in a while. I didn't really get to say anything either." Her smile turned reassuring. "Don't worry: I took plenty of notes and did a lot of studying with them. I think I know how this works."

"As long as one of us does," I muttered. I took another deep breath and looked down at Captain Blaze. "Is everything in readiness?"

He snorted. "I should really be asking you that, Princess."

"Fair enough." I looked up at the door, and became acutely aware that it was the only thing between me and a throng of ponies who wanted to see me. No going back now, though.

"Okay. Send them in one case at a time."

Captain Blaze saluted me and motioned to the two guards by the door. They saluted in turn and pulled the double doors to my throne room open, letting two ponies, an earth pony mare and a unicorn stallion, inside. They were glaring daggers at each other as they walked up to the throne, so I knew that it was going to be good.

The two of them stopped about fifteen feet from my throne and bowed low to me, saying my name in unison. Lieutenant Rapids, who was standing beside them, saluted me. "This is the case of Wheat Thrasher vs. Daisy Fields. Ms. Fields is accused of damaging a bushel of wheat grown by Mr. Thrasher."

"I see." I wait until Twilight has finished writing that down before looking at them. "So... you feel that a damaged bushel of wheat is a matter for one of the highest courts in the land?"

Whatever the two of them had wanted to say died in their throats as they realized how stupid of a problem this was. I mean really, Cheerilee's foals fought over things more worth my time than this. Still, they were here, so I sighed and waved my hoof. "Mr. Thrasher, you may begin."

Wheat Thrasher blinked once, but seemed to realize that I had given him permission to get going. He glared at Daisy Fields once before clearing his throat and stepping forwards. "Princess Antares. Last Tuesday morning, I was walking down the street with a bushel of wheat on my back. I was transporting it to a client who had ordered it for the purpose of bread-making, and as such I was transporting it through town. Ms. Fields..." He nearly spat out the name. "Was careless, and she knocked the wheat off of my back into a mud puddle!"

"Careless? You ran into me!" Daisy Fields snapped. "I was putting some of my wares in my saddlebag, and the next thing that I know, I'm being flattened out of nowhere!"

Sigh.

"Uh... quick question." The two ponies, whose arguing I knew was going to get worse if I didn't do something soon, turned their attention to me. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. "Do I... do I look like your mother?"

They both frowned at me, and Daisy Fields cocked her head. "I don't understand what you mean."

"I mean just what I said." I opened my eyes. "Do I look like your mother?"

"O-of course not," said Wheat Thrasher. He exchanged a glance with his opponent. "I fail to see the relevance of you not having given birth to me."

I sighed. "I thought not." I shook my head and got to my hooves. "Basically my point is is that the two of you are bickering like foals about something that I believe that you can settle between you like grown freaking adults." I rolled my eyes and their bewildered expressions, and let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, so so some wheat was knocked off of your back. What if that's nobody's fault? What if it was just a tragic mistake?" My eyes narrowed, and I took a step towards them. "Mr. Thrasher, what was the value of the wheat you lost?"

Wheat Thrasher had to take a few seconds to realize that he was being addressed, but he quickly snapped out of his shock. "Oh... er... well, I think it was about twenty bits."

I facehooved so hard that I think the waiting ponies outside could have heard. "That's it? Twenty. Freaking. Bits?!" I made a show of walking back to my throne, sitting back down, and double facehooving. "Twenty bits. I don't believe..." I deeply exhaled and looked at my subjects. "You do know that I am one of the most powerful ponies ever, right?" They nodded. "Good. So you know that maybe, just maybe, a matter of twenty bits isn't something that I need to waste my time with? I mean, refresh my memory on why you couldn't handle it between yourselves like adults?"

Silence.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I turned my attention to Twilight, who had been taking down notes. "Twilight, are there minor courts around Equestria? Places where ponies can come to when they have small issues like this."

Twilight continued writing, but nodded. "Yeah, we do. I won't say that we have a ton of them across Equestria, but they're definitely there."

I returned her nod. "Good. I'm going to be making some new laws and decrees about what kind of thing can be sent a princess' way. I'm also going to be considering increasing the amount of small courthouses in Equestria. Ponyville doesn't have one, correct?" Twilight nodded again. "Good. I'm going to begin commissioning them in key locations around Equestria so that more ponies have more access to them, and the closest legal authority isn't the highest one in the land."

With that settled, it was time to deal with my two bickering subjects, both of whom were looking at the ground with their ears flattened as if they thought that they were in huge trouble. Well, they weren't, but I wasn't exactly pleased with them at the moment.

"So. You two." They raised their heads. "I'm not furious with you. Don't worry, I'm not locking you in the dungeons. However, I would like it if the two of you worked the issue of twenty bits out between each other to a point where you are both satisfied, then send a report to me. Deal?" The two ponies bowed low to me with a mumble of 'yes, your majesty,' and I dismissed them.

When the door closed behind them, I turned to Twilight with a smirk. "I think that went well, don't you?"

Twilight shrugged and put her quill down. "Well, I have to admit that it reveals the difference in ruling styles between you and Princess Celestia. I think that Princess Celestia would have had them work it out before her with her as a sort of moderator between the two of them, but you just told them to work it out amongst themselves and then give you a letter about it later. It was very..." She smirked at me. "It was very TD of you. You're not really the kind of guy who would be open for that kind of thing."

I shook my head. "Not on your life. I grew up with a sister, and trust me: there is nothing I would rather do less than hear them bicker like siblings over an accident."

Twilight nodded and turned back to her notes with a sigh. "I will say that you're nothing if not ambitious in your attempts at solving that problem, though. More small-claims courthouses in more cities is something that isn't going to happen overnight, so don't expect cases like theirs to just disappear."

I shrugged. "Eh, they wouldn't anyway. Hopefully the new courts will lessen the load, though. Make me less bogged down." I took a deep breath and straightened up. "Well, prepare a copy of those notes to send to Celestia and Luna, I guess. Let me know when they respond." I turned to Captain Blaze. "Next case, please."

He saluted me, and he motioned for the doors to be opened again. They were, and in walked a pony I never expected to see next to another I didn't know.

"Prince Blueblood."

Blueblood and his fellow stopped in front of my throne and bowed low. "Princess Human TD," Blueblood replied.

Ah. So he wasn't here to follow his aunt's orders to leave me alone and not antagonize me.

Excellent.

I glanced over at Twilight who was conspicuously staring straight ahead at the parchment. She knew what was about to go down, and she didn't want any part of it. I, on the other hand, wanted all part in it, and I think that my guards did too. I smiled serenely down at my arch-nemesis. "Hello, Blueblood. What can I do for you?"

Blueblood's smile was oddly smug, which didn't have me worried for a single moment. If I thought that the guy could outwit me, I would chop my wings off with a fork. He was only digging his own grave here.

"I am here because I have been studying some laws, Princess Antares." Blueblood motioned over to his companion. "This is Fast Talker. He has been my family lawyer for many years." Blueblood ignited his horn and took a scroll from Fast Talker. "Basically, we have been collaborating, and I realized that when you hit me with a pie at the Gala, you physically assaulted me. It is my wish to punish you to the full extent of the law." Blueblood chuckled and rolled the scroll back up. "Unless, of course, you feel that you are above the law. My lawyer assures me that princesses are not."

I gave Blueblood an exaggerated nod with a mocking look of seriousness. "Well, that is serious. Very serious indeed. I am going to take it seriously, because it is a very serious matter that deserves to be taken seriously. Seriously, do you get that I'm taking it seriously?" Blueblood's eye twitched, as he realized that he was being mocked, but I didn't let him do anything about it. I instead turned to Captain Blaze. "Captain Blaze, because I am so seriously taking this super seriously, would you please escort Prince Blueblood and his cronie... uh, I mean 'lawyer' to a private guest room? I think you can guess which one. Lieutenant Rapids may escort you as well, because he is a high-profile guest, and I am taking this seriously. Feel free to converse with him at your leisure. That goes for the rest of his and your natural born existences."

Captain Blaze saluted, but it was a tribute to the legendary guard stoicism that he didn't immediately begin rubbing his hooves together and cackling like a Bond villain. I know I probably would have. Instead, he motioned for Blueblood and his toadie to follow him.

"Please come this way, Prince Blueblood. Princess Antares wishes for me to tell you that she takes this, and you, very, very seriously."

Beautiful.

I amused myself for a minute or so with the image of Blueblood being escorted to one of my less complete, but obviously still livable, rooms by two of the most sarcastic ponies in Equestria. Whoever created sarcasm had ponies like him in mind when they did.

Of course I knew that it meant war, but it was a war that I was more than willing to wage.

I chuckled and shook my head before looking back over at Twilight who was blankly staring at an empty scroll. I applaud her stoicism, but I didn't doubt that Celestia would be getting wind of this whole thing one way or another. Eh, let her. This is my court. Not Celestia's. If Blueblood wanted to humiliate me by suing me or trying to have me arrested in front of the nation right after I was coronated, I was going to fight back to the best of my abilities.

A few minutes later, Captain Blaze walked back into the throne room, stood stoically by my side, and, in a perfect deadpan, said, "Prince Blueblood finds his living quarters inadequate."

"I'll take it into consideration," I replied. "Send in the next pony."

The doors opened again, and, to my surprise, a pegasus filly who was probably a little younger than the Crusaders walked in, escorted by Lieutenant Rapids who was smiling fondly down at her. A similar smile crossed my face as the filly stopped in front of my throne and bowed.

"Uh... P-Princess Antares. M-my name is Berry Bloom. I... uh, I wanted to come see you because my class is putting on a play f-for school, and I heard my teacher talking, and we don't know if we can because we don't have enough money to do it." Berry Bloom flattened her ears and began shrinking back. "I-if you don't think that's a good idea, I understand and all, I was just wondering."

I exchanged a glance with Twilight, and I think she understood that I'd do what I wanted here even if it wasn't the best option. I was the princess of foal services, after all. I stood up off of my throne, walked up to the filly, and sat down in front of her. "Your name is Berry Bloom?" She nodded shyly. "Cool name. Way better than silly old 'Antares.'

Berry Bloom's eyes went as wide as dinner plates, and she vigorously shook her head. "Nuh-uh, you're a princess! Your name isn't silly! It's way better than mine."

I shook my head. "Nah, yours is pretty cool. If you think mine is, then yours has to be at least as good." I gently patted her head. "So, you want money for a school play, huh? What's it about?"

"Uh..." Berry's gaze slowly trailed behind me, and I had to turn to see what she was looking at. "I-it's about her an’ Nightmare Moon."

Twilight's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open slightly. "M-me? You're doing a school play about me?"

Berry flinched back again. "Yeah. Ms. Knowledge thought it would be a good idea, since it's a big part of pony history now."

"Well I think it's a really cool idea for a play." I levitated a piece of Twilight's parchment and one of her quills over. "How much do you need and when is it?"

Berry Bloom's eyes somehow went even wider than when I told her that her name was better than mine, and I had to stifle a laugh at just how adorable it was. "Y-you wanna give us money for it?"

I nodded. "For sure. I can't promise a ton of money, but I'll definitely be sure to give you enough that you can do it. How does two hundred bits sound?"

"Th-that's r-really good!" All trace of nervousness was gone from her. It made my ornery old heart melt. This was why I was the princess of foal services. I have no doubt that Celestia would have done something similar, but I wanted to make sure that they got their play.

"Sounds good. Now, when is it?" I jotted down a few notes. "I'd like to attend."

I was going to give this filly a heart attack if I kept surpassing her wildest dreams like I was doing. She was staring at me in open-mouthed shock, and I kind of began to wonder if I had broken her brain a little bit. I would have thought so if she hadn't begun talking. "Y-you wanna come?"

"Sure I do. It sounds like it'll be really good."

"I..." She blinked once. "I-it's three weeks and two days from now. It's at Baltimare Elementary. Six o'clock"

"Awesome. Consider me there." I turned to Twilight. "Be sure to make a note of it. I want my schedule cleared so that I can attend." I turned back to Berry Bloom, who had a gigantic grin on her face, which only widened my smile. I extended my hoof. "Hoof-bump."

Berry giggled and tapped my hoof with her own. Boy would she be the talk of the school playground for the next long while, I'm going to tell you that. She got a princess to not only fund, but attend the school play then hoof bump her? Yeah, I think that'd be the greatest thing ever at that age.

I said goodbye to Berry, who practically bounced out of the courtroom, and went back to my throne. I saw Twilight beaming at me in a way that I hadn't seen in a while.

"What?"

"You, TD." She adjusted her consigliere hat again. "You are one of the most unique ponies I have ever met. You scheme and plan with Blueblood, but then you somehow are really good with foals. I never pegged a guy as ornery and snarcastic as you to be great with foals, but the evidence is before me."

I shrugged. "Well, you know that I wanted to teach kids back on Earth. It's what I was going to school for. Being the princess of foal services isn't that much of a stretch, right?"

Twilight returned my shrug, and we went back to court.

Well, the rest of the court was pretty simple, much like the start. A fair amount of the cases were ruled the same way as the first one: with the two or three ponies told to work it out amongst themselves then send me a report on how they had handled it. I think it worked, because it set the precedent once and for all that I wasn't going to deal with any petty crap in my court.

Ever.

If Celestia and Luna wanted to, that was up to them, but I wouldn't be sullying an already iffy situation by watching entitled morons act like children. No offense to the children. Of course, now that court was over for the day, which meant two things: flying and magic lessons.

I had already gotten a few more pointers from Twilight, so my levitation magic was getting better all the time to the point where it was just as easy as breathing. I stood up and had Twilight follow me to my room, where my stash of magic books was. We were just about to go through one on some more complex spells, so we would have to get started on that before Rainbow Dash came for my flying lesson.

The two of us walked towards my room, chatting about the court and how it had gone. Twilight admitted that it was quite different from the way Celestia ran court, but not necessarily in a bad way. It certainly reflected my personality, that's for sure. I think it went rather well, myself.

In a few minutes, we reached the doors to my room. "Just let me get inside and I'll get the books," I said. "Shouldn't take more than a second."

"Oh, go ahead," said Twilight. "We'll go back to the throne room to practice when you--

SPLAT

The atmosphere was sucked out of the air as I tried to think of just why I now found myself with an apple pie in my face. All I knew was that I had opened the door and then a pie went into my face. That's not how it usually works. I slowly reached up and wiped the pie off of and looked inside my room. It turned out that a sort of mechanism had been set up so that whoever opened the door would get a nice surprise. Well, anybody who was exactly my height, anyways.

The culprit's identity only took half of said culprit's brain power to discern. I admit that I was foolish to leave Blueblood in the castle left to his own devices. I nodded once and turned to Twilight, whose jaw was on the floor.

"Of course you know that this means war. From this moment forth, Prince Blueblood and I are engaged in a war that will last his entire wretched life. This I swear to you."

Twilight could only gulp.

Author's Notes:

consigliere: con-si-lee-airy

Next chapter: a prank war between TD and Blueblood

The Drums of War

"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." -- Winston Churchill.

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -- General George S. Patton.

"The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy." -- Friedrich Nietzsche.

"All war is deception" -- Sun Tzu.

"To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace." -- George Washington.

"The upcoming war between Prince Blueblood and myself will go down in history as one of the most lopsided conflicts in the history of the Equestrian nation. The severity and lifelong turmoil that Prince Blueblood has brought upon himself will be talked about in hushed whispers through the rest of time, and all nations will see it as the standard of conflicts from here on out. It's going to be awesome." -- Princess Antares.

Twilight sighed and facehooved as I snapped the magic primer shut, a beaming, eager smile plastered on my face. "You know that I have to. He instigated the conflict by coming here and trying to get me arrested on top of breaking into my room and pieing me. He should be grateful that I don't have him arrested for that."

Twilight shook her head and used her magic to put the books back on the bookshelf. "Do what you have to do, TD. Just try not to let it get out of hoof, okay?"

I raised my hooves defensively. "Hey, that isn't my plan. I'm planning to keep it controlled, okay? I'm not going to hurt him." I grinned evilly. "Unless he feels physical pain when his pride is destroyed. Then all bets are off."

Twilight rolled her eyes and stood up. "You have that meeting with the chefs in the kitchens in ten minutes. You wanted to meet with them about making dinner for tonight?"

I stood up myself and chuckled. "Yes, I'm planning on inviting Blueblood. He wouldn't dare ignore the order of a princess to join her for dinner, would he?"

"No he wouldn't," Twilight grumbled. She turned back to me, a hint of a glare on her face. "I have to be there too, don't I?"

I smirked at her. "If you really don't want to be there, then you don't have to be. I told you that anytime you wanted to go back to Ponyville you could. Even if you don't want to go that far, you don't have to come to dinner." I shrugged and began walking out of my room. "It's not going to be as bad as all that, though. Not for you, anyway."

About four hours later, Twilight, Blueblood, his lawyer cronie, and I were all sitting in my dining room. Twilight and the lawyer both had expressions of careful neutrality, but Prince Blueblood's smug grin could probably be seen from space. I could tell that he thought that he had laid the mother of all smack-downs on me, and that I wouldn't dare cross him ever again.

Uh-huh.

The dining room was silent only for a moment before Blueblood cleared his throat. His lawyer and I looked over at him, but Twilight just stared ahead. "I say, Princess Antares, I'm detecting the most unusual aroma from you. Is that... apple pie I smell?"

I smiled at Blueblood. "Why yes, yes it is." As if on cue, two servants come through the serving doors, each levitating a pair of apple pies which they set in front of each of us. My smile widens ever so slightly. "You see, I felt like trying my hoof at cooking, so I felt like I'd honor my good friends Applejack and Apple Bloom by making an apple pie." I pointed to the one in front of Blueblood. "I made that one in front of you myself."

Now, the pie itself wasn't small by any means, but it was certainly dwarfed by Blueblood's eyes right now. Rarity had certainly told me that he had reacted adversely to eating Applejack's food at the Gala, so this was even sweeter. I had to expend all of my energy to keep myself from bursting out with laughter right then and there. Believe me, it was a tempting thought.

I motioned for my guests to begin, and all but Blueblood dug in with some trepidation. As for my arch-nemesis, he was staring down at the pie as if he was trying to figure out what to do next. He weakly cleared his throat again. "S-so, Princess Antares, I don't... er... no, uh..." He glanced back down at the pie as if it was going to bite him. "Were you cooking the pies in your room? I smelled apple pie from there as well."

I raised an eyebrow and cocked my head. "My room? Why, whatever were you doing near my room." I shot Captain Blaze a faux-bewildered look. "Didn't you put Prince Blueblood in the wing opposite the one where my room is?"

"I-I only meant that I heard from the servants that it smelled like apple pie!" Blueblood said quickly. He shot his pie another suspicious glance.

"Oh." I chuckled and took another bite of my pie. It really was quite good. "No, it doesn't."

The meal continued on in silence for a few more minutes. Twilight and the lawyer had gotten over their trepidation once they realized that their pies weren't laced with anything, but Blueblood still hadn't done anything with his. I finished another bite of mine and looked over to him with a raised eyebrow. "Why, whatever is the matter, Blueblood? Is there something wrong?"

Blueblood bit his lip. "Er..."

I frowned at him. "Don't you know that it's rude to not eat what is put before you? This isn't optional, Blueblood. We're royalty here. There are manners that must be observed."

"You put something in it," Blueblood whispered. His eye twitched and he leaned away from the pie. "You put something in there that will harm me!"

"Unless you are allergic to apples then I don't think that I did." I replied.

Blueblood's eyes widened, and a small grin formed on his face. "Yes! That's it: I'm allergic to apples and thus I cannot have this apple pie!"

I frowned at him again and cocked my head. "Why Blueblood, that doesn't make any sense. During our discussion with Princess Celestia after your roundabout marriage proposal in the garden I inquired if you liked apples and you said that you did."

I heard Twilight spit-take when she heard me mention that Blueblood had all but proposed in the garden that day. That's right; I hadn't mentioned that to her, had I? Oh well, I'd tell her the story later. I had a kill to go in for.

"How can you be allergic to apples and still like them?" I prodded Blueblood's pie towards him. "I mean, there's nothing bad in there. It's just what the commoners make."

Blueblood squeaked, and I could practically see the gears working in his head as he tried to figure out a way to avoid eating an entire apple pie. Well, he couldn't. He had brought this upon himself, gosh darned it, and I as both the princess of snarcasm and pastries wasn't going to let this stand. I narrowed my eyes.

"Prince Blueblood. I, the princess of pastries, have offered you a pastry that I have made with my own two hooves. Surely you wouldn't be so gauche as to refuse to eat it?"

Blueblood gulped, but illuminated his horn and levitated his fork into the air. I would have imagined that stars have formed and exploded faster than it took Blueblood to take a single bite of the pie, but he eventually swallowed a minute bite. I continued smiling expectantly at him. He wasn't going to get out of it so easily. He gulped and took another bite.

Now, to his credit he did actually end up finishing the entire pie. He had an expression on his face akin to passing several large kidney stones, but he actually did it. I smiled at him and patted his foreleg. "Enjoyed it?"

Blueblood shakily pushed the tin away. "Er..." He gulped. "If you'll excuse me, I must go lie down for a moment. We will have to talk about the thing... later."

With that, Blueblood got to his hooves and stumbled out of the dining room with his lawyer close behind him. I looked back at Twilight and smirked when I saw that she was glaring at me. "Okay, spill it. I want to know what you put in that pie."

I chuckled and stood up from my seat. "Not a darned thing."

The next week found me in quite high spirits.

My prank war with Blueblood was going quite well. He had retaliated to the pie with putting no-hair cream in my conditioner. As a result, both my mane and tail fell out.

...

...

About two minutes later, I looked in the mirror and saw that my mane had grown back and now had the ethereal flow that Luna and Celestia's did. Blueblood was not happy when he saw that. I retaliated by putting mustard in Blueblood's conditioner. In response, Blueblood hired a bunch of ponies to go through court and bicker about the most benign things imaginable for six hours on end. Blueblood found his mane bleached green for that one for a few days.

Yeah, it went back and forth like that for a good week.

I had spent day court with a little less of the same as the day before. Word had clearly spread that I wasn't going to tolerate any petty BS, so I didn't have a lot of ponies asking me to settle petty arguments. Of course, that wasn't the main reason that I was in a good mood.

Cheerilee's class was coming.

It had been in the works for a few days now. Apparently the kids had begged her to take them to come see me, and I told her that I would be delighted to have them. Any minute now they would be arriving via carriages to my palace, where they would be greeted the same way I would greet foreign dignitaries. I rued that I didn't have all day to spend with them, I was still a princess, but gosh darn it, I was going to make the most of it.

I walked out to the palace grounds flanked by my two officers just in time to see the three carriages full of the school foals arrive. My smile grew wider, when the first one stopped in front of the red carpet I had rolled out for their arrival. A servant opened the door, and Cheerilee stepped out to a chorus of trumpets heralding her arrival. A herald stepped beside the carpet and unfurled a scroll.

"Announcing the arrival of Lady Cheerilee of Ponyville!"

Cheerilee blushed, but I saw her smile widely all the same as she walked down the red carpet. Scootaloo hopped out next.

"Announcing the arrival of Lady Scootaloo of Ponyville!"

Scootaloo squealed in delight, her wings buzzing behind her as she hopped down the red carpet towards me.

"Announcing the arrival of Lady Sweetie Belle of Ponyville!"

"Announcing the arrival of Lady Apple Bloom of Ponyville!"

"Announcing the arrival of Lord Featherweight of Ponyville!"

Oh yeah, I think I just gave the kids the treat of their lives. Part of me wondered if I started the tour off strong; if they would be so enamored by that that they wouldn't even remember the rest of the day. They had just been treated like nobility by royalty. I'm going to guess that they were thrilled that their parents signed off on this. I know I was. Seeing them all again reminded me of my simple life in Ponyville, and today was going to be a little reminder of that. There was going to be an hour set aside where I would give them a lesson. Half of it would be about being royalty, the other about my world, just like when I was in Ponyville.

Well, after a few minutes, the kids were all at the end of the red carpet chattering excitedly about what had just happened to them. Cheerilee and I were beaming, me at the kids and Cheerilee at me. I raised a wing to quiet them down, and they fell silent, their grins never leaving their faces. "Good evening to you, Lords and Ladies of Ponyville." I swept my wing in front of me and bowed low before them. "It is my great honor to have you at the castle today. I will do everything in my power to make sure that your stay is as memorable as possible."

The kids all cheered and stomped their hooves, and I folded my wing back at my side. "I hope the train ride wasn't too bad."

"Nah, we spent it talkin' about this place!" said Apple Bloom. She giggled and bounced up and down. "We are so, so, so excited ta be here, Princess Antares!"

I chuckled and waved a hoof. "Please, Apple Bloom, it's just TD. You know me beyond this stuffy title and unimaginable power."

"We're on first name basis with a real princess!" Dinky squeed to Berry Pinch.

I ruffled her mane. "You'd better believe you are. Now come on: it's time for you guys to see my castle."

The kids cheered, and they followed Cheerilee and I into the castle. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids followed along behind us. As we walked inside, my face became solemn and I began speaking. "Now kids, I have something very important to tell you." I turned around. "This castle isn't completely safe for me. I assure you that it is quite safe for you and Ms. Cheerilee, but I am in constant danger here. You see..." I shifted my gaze to the left, then the right. "I am currently at war."

The kids all gasped, and even Cheerilee took an uneasy step backwards.

"What do you mean 'war?'" asked Silver Spoon.

"You all know who Prince Blueblood is, yes?" The kids nodded. "Good. You see, he is my eternal arch-nemesis. I smashed a pie in his face at the Grand Galloping Gala last year, and now he's out for revenge. He smashed a pie in my face in my very room! So, he and I are now involved in what will likely be the most infamous prank war Equestria has ever seen."

All of the kids 'ooh'ed while Cheerilee rolled her eyes. I think I heard her mumble something about how I 'never change.' Yeah, well, she'd do the same thing in my position.

"So," I continued on, "I may need your guys' help in said prank war." I began pacing back and forth in front of them like a general to his troops. "You see, Prince Blueblood is indeed in the castle right now, trying to win the war. I may need to make you honorary soldiers in my war against him to help turn the tide."

I would have continued, but Cheerilee cleared her throat. I turned my attention to her, and she jerked her head towards a side hallway. I sighed and rolled my eyes before turning to Captain Blaze. "Er... keep an eye on them, will ya?"

Captain Blaze saluted. "Yes, Princess. I understand. We all have marital problems regarding foal-rearing techniques sometimes. You go settle things with the wife. Lieutenant Rapids and I will take care of your young 'uns."

I snorted and followed a now blushing Cheerilee down the hall. We stopped about halfway down it, and I chuckled. "What can I say? I picked my snarcasti-guard well."

Cheerilee shook her head with a sigh. "I don't think anypony can argue with that." She looked back down the hallway towards the class. "Look, TD, I don't mean to criticize how you rule a nation and all that, but don't you think that it would be a bit wrong to get a class of foals involved in a political civil war?"

"It's just pranking Blueblood."

"I understand that," said Cheerilee patiently, "It's just that I don't think that their parents and guardians allowed them to go on a two-and-a-half hour train ride to another city just to pull pranks."

I flattened my ears and looked guiltily towards the kids. "Yeah... I guess not. Still, it's hard not to think of all of the ways to utilize them to get back at Blueblood." I grunted and beckoned Cheerilee to follow me back to the kids. "I guess the ball is in his court anyway."

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What did you do?"

"I made him eat an apple pie." I waved the kids over before Cheerilee could respond, and they eagerly flocked over to me. My grin returned full force. "Okay, who'd like to see my room first? It's the one place in Equestria where nopony is allowed to go without my explicit permission. Not even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

The foals let out an awed noise, and I led them towards my room, spouting off random facts about anything they asked about on the way. It wasn't long before we reached my room, and I stopped them in front of it. "Now, what you are about to see here is something that very few other ponies alive have, or ever will see. It is my personal room, and I assure you that it is quite something." I shrugged. "Sort of."

With that, I ignited my horn and threw the door open.

Well, the room was sure something alright. I didn't expect that something to be all popcorn, but it was something.

I took a deep breath as the gathered ponies stared at the room that was one hundred percent filled with popcorn. Literally all we could see was a wall of popcorn. Now, I don't think that Blueblood has the brains to think up something this good, so I'm going to have to guess that his lawyer knows a prank or two. I turned to Cheerilee with a grim expression. "This is what I mean when I say that I am at war."

Cheerilee studied the popcorn wall for a minute before slowly nodding and turning to me. I was delighted to see a mischievous look in her eye. "Let's get him."

"Excellent!" I flapped my wings excitedly and turned to the kids. "Now kids, remember when I said that I may need your help to win the war against Prince Blueblood? Well, I think now is the time to use your special skills to help me."

The kids burst out into loud cheers, and I glanced over at Cheerilee, who was just short of rubbing her hooves together.

"What do you want us to do?!" asked Scootaloo.

I chuckled and patted her on the head. "The first thing that I'm going to have you do is eat candy. Lots of sticky, gooey candy."

Cheerilee's smile fell ever so slightly.

I stood outside of my throne room, knowing that Prince Blueblood was on the other side. I had spent the last hour getting ready, and now was the hour of one of my greatest triumphs. I regretted that it involved letting Blueblood think that he had one of his own, but it would work out in the end.

I rubbed my eyes to make them appear bloodshot and heavy, then flattened my ears before walking into the throne room. Sure enough, Blueblood was standing in front of my throne, his smug grin having returned. He gave me his mocking bow when he saw me come in.

"Good afternoon, Princess Antares." He let out a fake gasp. "You look terrible! Is anything the matter?"

I grumbled something unintelligible as I sat down on my throne. "Some dork put popcorn in my room. I mean really filled the place. I've spent the past hour cleaning it out. I only just got it done."

"Aww." Blueblood clicked his tongue. "That is unfortunate. I wonder who could have pulled that brilliant prank."

I sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. I just know that it came at a bad time. I have this nonsense with you, on top of the fact that your admirers found out that you're here."

Blueblood's condescending expression faded into one of confusion. "Er... admirers?"

"Yeah." I rubbed my temples. "A group of ponies found out that you're here, and now they're desperate to meet you. They said that they really admire and respect you."

Blueblood's smug expression returned full force. "Well, well, well, it seems that you are not the only one who has ponies groveling at their hooves. Where are these admirers?"

"Just outside the throne room. I had to push past them to get in. There are quite a few."

"Well we must send them in!" Blueblood chuckled and began strutting in front of me. "I'll show you what a refined crowd of admirers looks like, not the rabble of mindless children that you have."

You know, he really could not have worded that any better. I motioned for the door guards to open the door, and immediately the entire class, sticky from the candy I had fed them, bolted into the room straight at Blueblood.

"PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!" They all cried at once.

Blueblood had to take a moment to register that a wall of sticky foals was barreling straight towards him, but when it finally clicked he let out a scream so high pitched that bats would have no trouble hearing it. He tried to run in the opposite direction, but I used my magic to grab onto his tail, keeping him in place.

I will remember the slo-mo of the foals running at him forever. While I'm sure that they had eaten their fair share, they had really gone all out to make sure that they were as messy as possible. In a stroke of genius, Sweetie Belle had even stuck a few pieces in her mane. On one hoof, I would imagine that Rarity would kill me for that. On the other, considering the cause, she'd support the endeavor in full.

Well, given that Blueblood wasn't exactly going anywhere, he was tackled to the ground by the wall of foals, all of whom proceeded to hug him to the best of their abilities. Sweetie Belle even took a piece of candy off of her mane and stuck it onto Blueblood's before pressing down, revealing that the candy was a caramel. He'd be trying to scrub it out for hours.

Oh, it was so nice to see Blueblood at the mercy of the foals, especially when you consider the fact that my poor staff did have to clean up the popcorn in my room. The lawyer was coerced into helping, though, so it evens out.

After a few minutes, an exasperated, but still clearly amused, Cheerilee walked into the throne room, snapped a picture, and herded the foals out so that they could get cleaned up. They bounced out like they were hyped up on all of the sugar, chattering excitedly about what had just happened. That left just me and a shivering Blueblood in the room. I sighed contentedly and hopped off of my throne.

"You were saying something about foals?" Blueblood whimpered and continued shivering. I clicked my tongue and leaned in close to him. "Don't break into my room again, okay? I could literally have you arrested for that." I straightened up and began walking out of the room to continue the tour before a thought struck me. I turned my head back to Blueblood. "By the way: you're trying to get the person who pied you prosecuted. Well, you were pied by the human TD Powell, who legally doesn't exist anymore."

Win.

Author's Notes:

Is Blueblood done in the story? Nah, not really. Is he done for now? For sure.

Now... the next chapter is going to be really heavy. REALLY heavy. But, I wouldn't put it in if I didn't feel like I needed to. I feel that what's going to happen in it is going to reveal more about TD's character, his role as a princess, and Equestria itself than a prank war with Blueblood.

More TD alicorn fan art.

The Darker Side of the Job

Blueblood didn't bother me after that.

My guards cleaned him up and sent him packing, and I think he might have been secretly relieved to go. He wasn't even beginning to win the prank war. Why, once his lawyer made the mistake of breaking into my room yet again, and he triggered a trap spell that I had set for him. I walked in to see him frozen in place with a rope, two bottles of shaving cream, a few peaches, and a quill. Lord knows what he was going to do with that. I didn't bother to ask. I simply sat on my bed and read a book that Twilight had lent me on the history of Pegasopolis for four hours. He could only stand there in total silence while I did.

Cheerilee's class had a total blast during the tour, even after we totally destroyed Blueblood's resolve. They got to see the guard's training grounds, got a few lessons in snarcasm, got a more thorough look at my throne room, and even got to take turns sitting on my throne.

Overall, I think that they had the time of their lives, and I was more than happy to provide that for them. When they went back to the carriages at the end of the day to go back to Ponyville, I assured each and every one of them that they would have a job if they wanted to join the snarcasti-guard or something like that once they got old enough. They all cheered at the idea.

I smiled as I watched the carriages drive away towards the train station. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids were beside me, smiling as well. "It was a good day," I said happily.

"You did seem to enjoy yourself, Princess," Captain Blaze agreed. "They made you princess of foal services for a very good reason, it seems."

I chuckled and led the two of them back towards the castle. "Well, I was going to be an elementary school teacher before I came to Equestria. Even when I did come here, they were the one big bright spot in my life."

"I can tell." Captain Blaze trotted alongside me in silence for a few seconds before speaking up again. "I really like your mane."

I burst out into laughter at that.

The next afternoon saw me in day court, listening to various questions about tax reforms in Baltimare and funding for various schools and the like. I was far more willing to fund schools and begin legislation to increase teacher pay than give tax breaks to the rich. Take it from a guy who has been in a classroom setting, teachers are way underpaid for the amount of work that they do. I was quite aware that I was rapidly gaining the support of teachers everywhere, something that pleased me to no end. I had heard tell that various classrooms had put up pictures of me a little higher than the ones of Princess Celestia. I can't imagine that Celestia was totally pleased with that.

Oh well for her, I guess.

I finished ruling that four hundred bits would be spent going to repair a slightly worn down building and turned to Captain Blaze. "Okay, send in the next one."

He inclined his head in a bow and motioned for the doors to open. They were, and I was pleased to see a filly trot into the room next to Lieutenant Rapids. This was not an unusual occurrence after Berry Bloom set the precedent, and it always made my day when a foal came to see me to ask me something. I smiled warmly at her and hopped off of my throne. She stopped in front of me and bowed low. I couldn't help but notice that her legs were shaking, something that made me frown a little. My warm smile returned by the time we made eye contact again, though.

"Hey there. What's your name?"

The filly flinched back and flattened her ears. "Uh... Sh-Shining Star, your majesty."

"Shining Star, huh?" I reached out and gently ruffled her mane. "What can I do for you, Ms. Star?"

Shining Star actually whimpered, something that completely removed the smile from my face. I looked up at Lieutenant Rapids who merely shrugged at me. I sat down in front of the foal and leaned down closer to her. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to do anything bad. You're completely safe here, I promise. Whatever you have to tell me is completely confidential if you want it to be, okay?"

Shining Star sniffled and wiped her eyes with a foreleg, but nodded. "O-ok-kay." She looked back up at me. "I h-have a friend named Dashing Wing a-and she's shown up to school the past few weeks with a few bruises."

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped open.

Oh no.

"A-at first she told my teacher that she just tripped into a fence, but sh-she told me that... that..." Shining Star whimpered, buried her head in her forelegs, and began quietly sobbing.

Oh no. No, no, no.

My legs began shaking and my stomach tied itself into knots. All warmth was gone from my voice when I spoke next. "Is she being abused at home?"

Shining Star's sobs became louder, and to my complete horror, she nodded. "I... I wasn't sure what to do about it, so I went to her house today to talk about it... th-then I heard her crying for help!"

I bit my lip and got to my hooves. Captain Blaze came up behind me. "Princess? How do you want to handle this?"

"Where does your friend live?" I said sharply.

Shining Star sniffled and wiped her eyes. "One-two-six Cherry Lane."

I nodded and bolted out of the throne room, stopping briefly when I reached the door guard. "Have one of the servants take care of her until I get back. Get her something to eat or drink. Day court is postponed until further notice."

The guard saluted, and I walked out. There was an open window nearby, and I took wing and flew out of it towards Cherry Lane. I knew the place. As the princess in Baltimare, I had to get to know my city, so I spent my time memorizing where everything was. It wasn't far from the palace.

As I flew, a feeling that I had not felt in quite a while began building up inside of me. It was purer than what I had felt when I had discovered that I was a female pony that had to rule the nation, it was even more potent than what I had felt when I had been brought into Equestria to begin with.

Rage.

Pure, unadulterated rage.

Foal abuse... no, I was not going to tolerate it. I wasn't going to even consider the notion for a moment. The idea that something like that was happening right on my doorstep and I didn't know about it hurt me, and this scumbag was going to pay in ways he or she couldn't even imagine for even thinking about hurting the foal. I clenched my teeth and my lips curled into a snarl as I saw the house in question in the distance. I put on more speed and flew right above it just as I heard the most horrifying noise imaginable.

A scream.

With a snarl I ignited my horn and engulfed the entire house in my magic. I tore the entire front off of the house, revealing the horrors inside. In a small room, a small filly was curled up into a ball, her forelegs over her head to protect her from the stallion standing above her. His hoof was raised over his head, but he stood frozen in place when he heard the sound of his house being ripped in half. I let out a guttural cry of pure rage and slammed the bit of house I was holding to the ground before casting a protective spell over the filly. The stallion seemed to realize what was going on and he bolted, but I wasn't letting him get away that easily. I shot a beam of magic at him, freezing him to the spot. His head and neck thrashed about, indicating that he was trying to escape from me, but there was no way I was letting this evil, evil pony go. I fired up my horn again and levitated him until he was snout-to-snout with me.

"How dare you," I growled, venom dripping from every syllable. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

The stallion whimpered and tried to flinch back, but I held him tight. His mouth flopped up and down like a fish out of water for a few seconds before he spoke. "I'm s-sorry. I w-won't h-hurt her again."

"Oh, you think that will cut it?!" I screeched. "You listen to me, you little punk: if I don't put your head on a freaking pike for this outside of my palace you had better consider yourself the luckiest stallion in all of Equestria!!"

I was vaguely aware that my guard was mobilizing around me, and that some residents of the street were beginning to come out of their homes to see what the issue was, but I only cared about the most evil thing in the entire universe since Nightmare Moon. "Now you listen to me. You are under arrest. You had better thank your lucky stars that I didn't do to you what I did to your house, is that understood?"

The stallion whimpered again, but managed a single nod.

"Good." I roughly set him on the ground and two of my guards dragged him away. I watched them put him in a police wagon for a moment, and then looked back to the foal. Captain Blaze was standing over her with a medic who was healing her bruises. Seeing her like that made my rage melt, and replaced it with pure sorrow. I took a deep breath and walked up to her. She opened her eyes when she heard me coming, and whimpered when she saw me. I smiled comfortingly at her and wrapped her in a gentle hug once the bruises were healed. I began rubbing her back. "Shh. You're okay now," I soothed. "I'm gonna protect you. I'm gonna make sure that you're okay."

The filly relaxed in my forelegs and leaned her head on my shoulder. I felt tears staining the fur, and I had to blink back some of my own. "You're gonna be okay. He can't hurt you anymore."

The medics took Dashing Wing back to the palace and placed her in the medical wing until further notice. I notified Shining Star that she was there, so the two of them were together. With the foal taken care of, it was time to deal with that rat that dared to hurt her.

So many ways to go about that. Turn him to stone and start my own statue garden of foal abusers. Cut off the hoof that struck the foal. Beat him to a pulp; see how he likes it when he feels what it's like to be completely defenseless and at the total mercy of somebody stronger than he is. So many ways to punish him for daring to think about doing something so... evil is really the only word that I can think of to describe abusing a foal.

My guards locked him inside a private room, and I entered it with my officers by my side. He was there. That monster was there lying on the floor when I came in. He gasped when he heard me enter and shot to his hooves. He sank to his knees in a low bow, and I scoffed at him. "Spare me your groveling. It won't help you."

He quickly straightened up again and stared down at the floor. "Y-yes, your majesty."

"Now..." I tightened my jaw and began circling him like a shark. "Dashing Wing is your daughter?" He weakly nodded. "I see." I stopped in front of him and leaned down until I was snout-to-snout with him again. "You have ten seconds, I repeat: ten seconds, to explain just what the heck you have been doing. Don't say it was a one-time thing, I've been told that she's been coming to school with bruises for quite a while now."

He was caught, and he knew it. There was no way that he could pass this off as punishment for not doing her homework or something like that, this was flat-out foal abuse, and we both knew it. He gulped and, to my total surprise, put on a brave face. "P-Princess, I didn't hurt her that badly. If I didn't, then I don't think it's really your concern how I raise my daughter, is it?"

My eyes widened, and the simmering rage that had been flowing through my veins completely boiled over and I slammed my hoof into the side of his head. He flew back into the wall, but I didn't even give him time to hit the floor. I grabbed him in my magic and slammed him against the opposite wall. He was completely limp in my magical grasp, but that didn't even begin to stop me from bringing him closer to me and repeatedly slamming my hooves into ever single inch of him that I could reach. I screamed profanities at him that would make a sailor blush. The back of my mind told me that I was killing him, heck, he could already be dead, but I didn't care. This scumbag had to pay. It was what he freaking deserved.

No.

No, that's not what I did.

It's what I wanted to do. It's what I wanted to do more than anything at the moment, but I withheld the urge to leave him as a bloody mess on the ground. Not to say that I didn't completely lose it, of course.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

He flinched so violently that he fell backwards. I stood over him, my face inches from his.

"YOU DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BEAT A FOAL, YOU ROTTEN, SCUMBAG SPAWN OF NIGHTMARE MOON!" I snorted steam and stomped my hoof next to his head so hard I cracked the floor. "I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID! YOU WILL NOT--"

"TD, STOP IT!"

My anger faded into shock, and I looked back to see who had yelled at me. I have to admit, I didn't think that Captain Blaze would have been so forward with me. Only the ponies I knew when I was a human called me by my human name.

I know that I could have fired him on the spot, but I wilted under his livid glare. He stomped up to me. "Take five, Princess. Let Lieutenant Rapids and I deal with him." I opened my mouth, but he cut me off with a wave of his hoof. "We're not going easy on him, but you are not in an emotional state where you can deal with this rationally, okay?"

I tightened my jaw and locked eyes with him for a minute before sighing and flattening my ears. Yeah, if I was having... well, I didn't want to call it a 'fantasy' of beating this guy senseless, but it wasn't healthy. I averted my eyes and lowered my head. "You're right. 'M sorry."

"Fine." Captain Blaze opened the door with his magic. "Let us handle this. I'll let you know what happened."

I inclined my head in a nod and trudged out of my room. The memories began replaying through my mind the second Lieutenant Rapids closed the door behind me, and I was left with nothing more than my thoughts. I walked down the empty halls of my palace, trying to force the nagging realization from my mind that I was close, really, really close, to snapping that guy's neck. It would have been really easy.

When I looked up next, I'm not sure how long it was later, I found myself in my throne room. I exhaled deeply and trudged over to my throne, but I didn't make it there. I turned around and sat down in front of it. My ethereal mane had had lost a little of its shine, and it now covered my eyes.

And so I sat there.

Alone with my thoughts and the realization of what I had just about done.

I wasn't a violent man by any stretch of the imagination. Sure I had punched Celestia a few times, but only after news so life-alteringly bad that I couldn't help myself. Besides, those could hardly be considered attacks. What I had just about done, though? That was... I didn't even want to think about it. All I did was sit.

I don't know how long it was before the door to my throne room opened again, but I could tell that the pony who walked in was far larger than Captain Blaze or Lieutenant Rapids. Man, she really didn't need to be there right then, but she would see it as her duty, wouldn't she?

I heard Celestia sigh as she sat down next to me. She draped a wing over my shoulders and put a hoof on my right foreleg. "I came to Baltimare as soon as I heard."

I didn't respond. I didn't really feel like it.

"Captain Blaze thought it prudent that I be told what had occurred." She squeezed me tighter with her wing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I tried to stop my legs from shaking, I really did. Still, the memory of what I wanted to do to him, and what part of me still wanted to do, was fresh in my mind. Right next to the memory of Dashing Wing's face when I tore that house in half and her father was over her, ready to hit her again. Now Celestia was here trying to talk to me about it. Here she was trying to play the motherly figure again.

"It's okay to let it all out."

That time I graced her with a snort. "We're princesses. Aren't we legendary for our stoicism in hard times?"

"In public, perhaps," Celestia admitted, "but if you think that after times like this I have not gone back to my room and cried like a foal, you are sorely mistaken. Both Luna and I have done it many a time."

"I can't see that," I said with a humorless chuckle. "You're Princess Celestia: you don't--"

I was cut off when a sob welled up in my throat that I quickly forced back down. I couldn't do this in front of her. Yeah, I lost my temper at the Gala, but crying in front of Celestia wasn't something that I was comfortable with, particularly not when it was because of something like this.

"TD, it's okay. You are not a bad princess because of this. You are young yet. Don't be too hard on yourself."

"I almost killed him," I growled. "That's the kind of thing people feel bad about."

"TD, I have actually killed to protect my little ponies," said Celestia. She paused for a moment. "Some of those deaths were more... rash than others, but I have done it."

"Y-yeah we--" My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. "I... she..." This time a sob did escape my throat. "She looked so scared. He was over her and hitting her and about to hit her again and she was really scared. I saw that and, I dunno, I just kinda snapped. You know that when I first came to Equestria, the big thing that kept me sane was the foals. Teaching Cheerilee's class about my world, playing hide-and-go-seek tag with them, or even just hanging out with them; it gave me a reason to get up in the morning.

"When I saw her huddled in the corner, I didn't see Dashing Wing, I... I saw Sweetie Belle, I saw Scootaloo, I saw Dinky, I saw Featherwieght, and Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon, and all the rest of them huddled in the corner, hoping to whoever would listen that it would all be over soon. That somebody would come save them and that the nightmare would be over. Well, I did save her, and the nightmare is over." I raised a foreleg and wiped my eyes, but failed to stop a pair of tears from streaking down my face. "And I almost killed the nightmare."

Celestia rubbed my foreleg again. "It's okay to let it out, TD."

I scoffed and wiped more tears away. "Yeah, w-well..."

I couldn't help it. I didn't want to break down in front of her, but I felt her wrap her forelegs and other wing around my shoulders. After that, I couldn't do anything else. I buried my head in her shoulder and began sobbing.

Foals

I'm not sure how long Celestia held me while I cried, but I can say that I did feel a little better after I did. Looking back, I think that the reason that I broke down wasn't just because I had lost my temper and just about used my ever increasing powers to kill somebody, but everything that had happened since my ascension. It was a release of everything that had happened over the past few weeks that was triggered by seeing Dashing Wing's abuse.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. I let out a single chuckle when I saw that Celestia's fur was soaked with my tears. It was a little embarrassing, but still a little funny. She glanced down at her wet shoulder and gave a smirk of her own. She dried her shoulder with a simple spell.

"Feel better, TD?"

I took another deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. A little." I sniffled and pushed myself to my hooves. "I don't feel quite so angry or helpless now, so that's a plus."

"That's good." Celestia put a hoof on my shoulder. "Since I am here, you are more than welcome to ask my advice on how to deal with the foal abuser, but do know that the choice is ultimately up to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "So if I did put his head on a pike outside of my palace, you wouldn't stop me?"

Celestia grimaced and removed her hoof from my shoulder. "My first piece of advice would be against that particular course of action, but... I would not stop you. You are the princess of foal services, and it is not my place to interfere in your domain without your consent."

"I see." I looked over to my throne room door. "Well, do know that I'm less inclined to have him drawn and quartered now that I've calmed down a little, but if you think I'm going to let him off with a slap on the wrist you're wrong."

"I didn't expect that you would."

I nodded. "Firstly, is there some sort of record for ponies? Something that employers look at when considering ponies for jobs, that kind of thing?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes, ponies have records, but most of it is for state use only."

"Well, I want to start a database of sorts for foal abusers." I walked over to my throne where Twilight had left some spare scraps of paper and a quill. I charged the quill with an ink spell Twilight had taught me and began jotting down some notes. "Something where employers can know if they're employing a foal abuser. This would be especially prudent for jobs involving foals: teaching, foalsitting, that sort of thing."

"That kind of thing would take quite a long time to set up, particularly on a national scale." Celestia walked over to me and looked over my shoulder at what I was writing. "Are you sure such a thing is feasible?"

I nodded. "We have similar things back on my world. Yes, we have the technology to make it easier, but there is magic here and Equestria is smaller and often more localized." I spun my hoof as I thought of my next sentence. "You know... somebody born in Baltimare or Manehattan is more likely to stay there on the whole, right?"

"Not all, but most," Celestia replied.

"Exactly." I finished writing down my thoughts and rolled up the scroll, giving it to Celestia. "If you could run that by Luna and Cadance, I would appreciate that. This affects all of Equestria after all, and you guys might have some good ideas about how to tighten it up, if you will."

"Very well." Celestia ignited her horn, and, with a burst of magic, the scroll disappeared. "Now then, what are you going to do with the abuser you currently have locked up?"

Right. Him.

I sighed and began walking out of my throne room, Celestia following closely behind me. "Well, I'm thinking prison time at the very least, particularly if he's a first time offender. From what I understand, Dashing Wing has been showing up to school with bruises for a little while now, so it's not like he was just starting when I caught him." A grimace crossed my face. "I will not be going easy on him."

Celestia mirrored my grimace as we walked towards where I had left my officers and the scum who had hurt the foal. "I did not think that you would. Just be careful, TD." We reached the doorway and stopped outside of it. "Understand that you are a princess now, and these situations must be handled delicately. If ponies hear that you bypassed due process and flat out murdered this stallion, they will not trust you anymore."

I nodded. "Don't worry, I'm not going to lose my temper again." I looked to the door. "Now or going forward. I like to think that I've learned my lesson there."

I took a deep breath and used my magic to open the door. The abuser was sitting in the middle of the room, shaking like it was freezing inside. Lieutenant Rapids and Captain Blaze were standing on either side of him, and both had glares on their faces. When they heard us come in, my officers turned to us and saluted. "Princess Antares," said Captain Blaze, "we've been interrogating him about what happened. Apparently Dashing Wing, and I quote, 'was being a little brat.'"

I raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? And what does that mean?"

The stallion covered his eyes with his forelegs and gulped. "W-well, sh-she was just kinda getting underhoof, ya know? She would come back from school and ask if she could go play with her friends even when she already knew that I told her ‘no’ that day. I..." He looked up at me. "I... I'm sorry for losing my temper."

"Okay, so how does that justify you hitting her?" I narrowed my eyes and leaned my head close to his. "And what about the other days she's been coming to school with bruises?"

"Oh Celestia please, no!" The stallion wailed. "P-please don't kill me! I'm s-sorry!"

I snorted and sat down in front of him. "Believe me, I thought about it." The stallion whimpered, but I put my hoof on his back. "Having said that, I won't." The stallion's forelegs moved away from his eyes, and for the first time, he looked a little hopeful. However, that faded the instant he saw the glare on my face. "That's not to say that I'm letting you off with a slap in the wrist, because I'm not. I'm going to be fair about this, so you're going to get a trial. If you are found guilty, you will be sentenced to fifteen years in prison. Your jumpsuit will have the words 'foal abuser' emblazoned on the side, and your cell will have a similar sign next to it. Once you are released, you will never see your daughter again unless she initiates contact. If you initiate contact, you will find yourself back in prison, is that understood?"

The stallion weakly nodded. "Yes, your majesty."

"Good." I got to my hooves and motioned to the stallion. "Get him out of here. A police station is fine."

Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids saluted, and Captain Blaze secured the stallion's forelegs with hoofcuffs before leading him out of the room. When they were out, Princess Celestia closed the door behind them before turning to me. "You handled that very well. I might not have given him such a long sentence, but I think ponies are going to find that abusing their foals is not worth it."

I gave a small nod. "Yeah. It's never freaking worth it."

"Do you have any punishments in mind for repeat offenders?"

"Yep." I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes as I did. "I already mentioned a longer prison term if he initiated contact with Dashing Wing again, though she's going to be in her twenties by the time he gets out, but something like sexual abuse? Firstly, god forbid that ever happens, but if it does, I'm thinking castration. Second time offenders... execution."

I opened my eyes to see that Celestia had widened hers. "TD, Equestria does not have the death penalty."

"You said you'd leave it up to me." I straightened up and began walking towards the door. "If it never happens then it will never come up. If ponies think that they're going to be castrated then executed for abusing a foal, they're not even going to think about it, yeah?"

Celestia tightened her jaw, but I knew that she knew that it was up to me in the end. All she could do was nod. "As I said before, I'll leave it up to your judgment. You are right: those kinds of abuses are exceptionally rare in Equestria, so it should not ever come up."

"Well then, there you go." I open the door with my magic and walk out into the hall, Celestia following closely behind me. "I'm going to go check up on Dashing Wing. She needs to know that she's safe now."

I walked down to the medical wing of my palace, a tight feeling in my chest. Celestia had told me that she was going to meet me in my throne room after I was done in case I needed any more help with anything. I supposed that I was grateful for that. She had thousands more years of experience with this than I did, after all. Sure, in some of my classes back in school this sort of thing came up, but it was more in the context of 'let the proper authorities know and follow up with the student when you can' as opposed to 'you're the ruler of the entire nation so you get to be the one who deals with it.' Given my still decently limited knowledge of pony society, I still wasn't sure how best to go about comforting Dashing Wing.

I reached the medical wing and quietly entered. Dashing Wing was in the bed at the very end of the hallway, being watched over by a nurse. Shining Star was leaning her head against the bed, and she seemed to be sleeping. I made a mental note to ask her if her parents knew where she was, and to contact them in any case to let them know that she was okay. Dashing Wing herself was lying on the bed, the covers pulled up to her neck, and staring straight at the ceiling. Both she and the nurse perked up their ears when they heard me coming, and the nurse bowed to me.

I waved my hoof at the nurse. "No need for that. I'm here for her. I want to make sure that she's okay."

"Yes, your majesty." The nurse reached a hoof towards Dashing Wing, and she flinched back and whimpered. She relaxed when the nurse merely stroked her mane. "I healed her bruises, so physically she's fine."

"Good." I walked up to the bed and sat down on the side opposite the one where Shining Star was sleeping and gave Dashing Wing a comforting smile. "Hey. How are you doing?"

Dashing Wing flattened her ears. "W-where's my dad?"

"He's in a jail cell right now." I gently put my hoof on her head. "He can't hurt you anymore."

Dashing Wing's eyes widened, and her ears perked up. "Y-you're not gonna give me back to him? I don't have to go home with him anymore?"

I shook my head. "Nope. I'm going to find you a much better home with parents who aren't going to hurt you. Ideally they're going to be close, so you can still go to the same school and have the same friends, okay? Would you like that?"

Dashing Wing slowly nodded, and, before I could say anything else, she pushed the covers off of her and threw her forelegs around me. I gently smiled and returned her hug, gently rubbing her back as I did. "You're going to be okay. I promise you that. Nopony is going to hurt you anymore."

Author's Notes:

Short chapter, I know. Next time: the abuser's trial. BTW, TD's politics in this regard don't necessarily match with mine, but that doesn't mean that they don't disagree with mine either.

I promise to go back to more comedy aspects. It's just that I felt that showing all sides of the job was necessary.

Trials and Tribulations

The trial was scheduled for the next day.

Given that it was my first, the other three princesses were all going to be there too so I wouldn't mess up and do something that wasn't proper procedure, or just flat out illegal. I still had to follow the laws of a fair trial, after all, and I would. I did not intend for this guy to get off because I wasn't giving him a fair shot.

Not that he was going to get off anyway. I had personally seen him beating his daughter, on top of the testimony from his daughter and her friend. I didn't see him getting out of this one.

The court date arrived, and the stallion, whose name turned out to be Brick Layer, was led into my courtroom by Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids. His head was bowed, and his ears folded against his head. He was in big trouble, and he knew it.

He was stopped a few feet before my throne, and sunk to his knees in a deep bow. He knew I wasn't going to be particularly impressed by it, and I really wasn't, but I suppose he thought that it didn't hurt to try. I glanced over at Luna, then Celestia, both of whom gave me a single, subtle nod. I returned them and drew myself up to my full height.

"Brick Layer, you stand accused of nine accounts of physical foal abuse of your daughter Dashing Wing." Brick Layer flinched back, but I continued on. "How do you plead?"

Brick Layer audibly gulped, and it was with a great deal of effort that he responded. "W-well... I c-couldn't deny it if I wanted to at this point, your majesty."

I nodded. "Very well. You plead guilty. Because of that, I will go a little easier on you." For the first time, I could see a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes. I mean, I wasn't going to execute him, but I think he just figured that out. "You will still spend a significant amount of time in prison, and you will be restricted from ever seeing your daughter again unless she initiates contact with you, but..." I took a deep breath. "I will not have the words "foal abuser" sewn into your prison uniform or put on your cell door. As much as I feel that you deserve such a thing, you would be singled out in prison and likely beaten. I will not help that along."

Once again, the relief on his face was clearly visible. I also glanced aside and saw approving nods from the other three princesses. Yeah, I figured they'd be support that. Truth be told, as much as I would have liked seeing this guy get what was coming to him in that way, I had done some thinking before the trial, and I realized that doing that wasn't justice so much as... vengeance on my part. Did he deserve something like that? Maybe, yeah, but if I've seen The Godfather enough times that I can quote it, and I have, then I know that you can't let personal matters get in the way of business.

Or justice, in this case. Sewing "foal abuser" into his clothes would be personal, I think, so I decided against doing it. Had he foolishly pleaded innocent, I would have just kept the same prison sentence that I had originally threatened. As it was, this case was pretty simple, and he had pleaded guilty. No need for me to give a punishment that would have been me getting a little revenge. I had no illusions of what would happen to a foal abuser in prison. Heck, it'd still probably happen, but, like I said, I didn't need to help it along.

And... well, that was that, I suppose.

I nodded and flared out my wings, "Brick Layer, I sentence you to ten years in the Baltimare Penitentiary. You will be eligible for parole in half that time. As stated before, you will be prohibited from ever seeing your daughter again unless she initiates contact."

Brick Layer's ears flattened again, but he bowed to me once more. "Y-yes, your majesty."

I nodded. "Good." I turned my attention to Captain Blaze. "We are adjourned."

Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids saluted me and led Brick Layer out of the throne room, leaving just us four princesses inside. Once the door had closed behind them, I frowned and leaned back in my throne. Celestia walked up beside me. "You seem confused as to what just happened, TD."

I took a deep breath and slowly shrugged. "Well... I'm not sure. I dunno, it just wasn't what I was expecting, is all. Back in my world, TV and movies and stuff has always made trials out to be these highly dramatic things, and here..." I lightly scoffed. "It took all of five minutes to get everything over and done with."

"Most court cases we deal with are like that," said Celestia with a nod. "Our ponies tend to be more honest around us. There's a... perception that we can tell when a pony is lying, so things tend to go much smoother."

"Some trials are lengthier, but We think he knew he was at your complete mercy," said Luna. Her and Cadance walked up next to me. "We know it may have seemed anticlimactic to thee, TD, but We assure thee, 'tis a natural way."

I slowly nodded and shifted so I was sitting with my back leaning against my throne. I crossed by forelegs. "I'm glad I didn't blow up at him. It would have been quite easy." I clicked my tongue and looked over to Celestia. "Well, you know the Equestrian prison system better than I do. What do you think will happen to a foal abuser in a place like that?"

Celestia grimaced. "Well, I don't think he will be killed, if that's what you're asking, but I do not think he will be completely unscathed, despite the best efforts of the guards."

"He's gonna get a little knocked around?"

"As cruel as some of those ponies can be, many of them have their own version of an honor code, and harming foals, particularly fillies, breaks that." Celestia sighed and shook her head. "We shall have to see. You may keep an eye on his case if you wish."

I shrugged. "I might." I stood up from my throne. "For now, though, I think I'm going to check on Dashing Wing again.

Well, Dashing Wing was quite happy to hear that her father wouldn't be bothering her anymore, and I told her that I'd take a personal interest in her case. I'd make sure she got a good home. I took her and her friend to my personal dining room, and told my personal chef to make them whatever they wanted. They deserved it after everything that they had been through. Shining Star's parents were proud of her, though.

A foal services officer came and took Dashing Wing a few hours later. I told the officer to give me daily updates, and that settled things on my end on the whole. Dashing Wing would have loving parents from now on. I would make sure of that.

Well, after that bit of excitement, life went back to normal. Dashing Wing was snapped up pretty quickly by a couple who couldn't conceive a foal of their own who were a few blocks from her school, so everything really worked out. I got a letter from her a week after that thanking me for everything that I had done. I instantly put a protection spell over it and stored it away neatly.

It was a few weeks later before anything else exciting happened. And boy was it exciting. I woke up one morning and walked out of my room after my morning grooming to see Captain Blaze standing on the other side of my door, his hoof raised to knock. I smirked at him. "Caught you at the right time."

"Something's happened." Captain Blaze beckoned me to follow him, and I wasted no time in doing so. Captain Blaze would always respond with a quip of his own, but the fact that he wasn't here was telling. I walked beside him, my longer legs meaning I could match his quicker pace with ease.

"What?"

"I don't know all of the details, but all three princesses showed up today with their captains." Captain Blaze led me in the direction of my throne room. "I think I heard her say something about griffins, but I'm not totally sure."

I frowned and tilted my head. "Griffins?" That didn't make any sense to me. We were on good terms with Griffonia as far as I was aware. They didn't have any reason to go after us, especially now that our military was a little stronger and there was another princess to contend with and lead the ponies in the event that one or more was incapacitated.

Blaze nodded. "Yeah." We reached the throne room, and he opened the door. "Princess Celestia will explain everything, I'm sure."

I walked into my throne room, and, sure enough, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, Raining Skies, and Night Stalker were all standing in front of my throne, grim expressions on their faces.

Well, Night Stalker always looked grim, but somehow he seemed even more so now.

"What happened?" I looked between each of the princesses. "I heard something about griffins, but nothing more."

"Indeed." Celestia shook her head and turned to me. "Last night, two of the small towns on the border of Equestria and Griffonia were sacked, and their inhabitants were all captured. One escaped, and that is why we now know about it."

My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open. "What?! I thought we were at peace with the griffins!"

"We are. It wasn't the Griffonian government," said Cadance. "It was likely a warlord with a small army behind him." Cadance flattened her ears, and Shining Armor put a hoof around her shoulders. "I don't even want to imagine what they're going through."

"What would they even want with them?" I asked, walking forward to better join the conversation.

"Slaves, most likely," said Celestia. "I believe they intended to take the two towns quietly, sell them to whomever would buy them, likely Diamond Dogs or other small time warlords, and then move camps so that we would be too late to do anything about it."

I copied Night Stalker's grimace, and rubbed one of my temples. "So why doesn't the griffin emperor do anything about it?"

Luna scoffed, and wore an expression not unlike one that somebody would have if they tasted something particularly foul. "He claims to not have the necessary resources to deal with them. The raiders have been quiet for a few years, but he should have crushed them long ago."

I rolled my eyes. I knew the type. It was somebody else's problem if it didn't affect you directly. Goodie. I shook my head. "Well, I suppose getting their help to deal with it is out of the question, or are we considering that?"

"That is the purpose of this meeting." Celestia nodded to Shining Armor, who unrolled a large map onto the floor. I saw two spots on the Equestrian-Griffonian border that were marked red. "Those were the places that were attacked. Around fifty ponies were captured from each place, so we have a hundred ponies to save."

"And not a lot of time to do it, I'll wager," I added grimly.

Celestia nodded. "A day or two at most. We came here to talk strategy because yours is the closest palace, but we have already begun mobilizing troops in case we need to fight to get them back."

"Which we'd rather not do," said Cadance.

I frowned and tapped my lower jaw, and studied the map. If they were transporting around a hundred ponies, they wouldn't be able to get very far very fast, so they had to have a base close by. I motioned to a spot on the map that represented a forest. "I think the raiders are in here. It's close, and it's hidden."

"It makes sense." Celestia marked the forest blue. "They have tried such things before.

"But that also presents a problem in that the forest will make it hard to move a large army through quickly, pegasi aside," said Luna, "and a small force could not effectively fight them; they'd likely be captured or killed."

"What about one of us?"

That got me some looks. Even Captain Blaze, who usually can guess where I'm coming from when I say something crazy was looking at me like I had just grown a second head. You know you've said something out of the park weird when somebody like Night Stalker has stopped looking stoic or grim and is now looking baffled. I figured a little explanation was necessary.

"What I mean is, why can't one of us alpha alicorns go deal with it? We can find the camp and negotiate the release of the prisoners, and maybe threaten a little imminent total annihilation if they don't comply immediately." I shrugged. "You really think the griffin emperor would begrudge us that? We'd be doing it to get our ponies back. If he didn't like it then he could take a long walk off a short pier."

Despite my explanation, they were still looking at me like I was nuts. I mean, I can kinda see why. Yeah, we alpha alicorns were pretty much immune to most weapons, but waking into a warlord's camp still wasn't the best idea, unless one had the element of the unknown on their side.

It was Celestia who spoke up first. "TD, do you understand what you are saying? You think that it would be best if one of us just waltzes into their camp and demands for the release of the hostages or we'll kill them all?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, what else are they going to listen to?"

"TD, such a thought might have worked a long time ago when Equestria was a more warlike nation, but now is a more peaceful time." I disliked the slight condescension in Celestia's tone, but I didn't say anything as she continued on. "If I or Luna were to do such a thing, they would not believe us. I have not led troops into battle for centuries, and that is quite common knowledge."

I nodded. "Yep. I'm sure it is." A small smirk crossed my face. "But, they don't know a thing about me, and I'm, in theory to them, anyway, just as powerful as you are, right?" I chuckled and spun my hoof. "So let's say I walk into the camp and demand they release the prisoners or I'll destroy everything I see. They have no reason not to believe me, right?"

"Out of the question," Luna snapped. "Thou art not strong enough magically, nor diplomatically skilled enough to take them on. We do not want to put them in any more danger than they already are."

"If you have another suggestion, I'm all ears, Luna." I frowned. "I think the element of surprise is going to be our best bet here; make them think we're holding a lot of pretty sweet cards that we can use against them if they don't comply. The fact that we know where they are would be a pretty good indicator that they can't just hid from us forever, right?" My smirk widened a hair. "I don't think they'd know what to do with a threat from me, but if I had your backing, like if I tossed around that all it would take is a little spark and they're swarmed by the entire Equestrian army, they're going to back down."

"What makes you so sure?" Cadance asked.

"Call it a hunch, but beings that attack civilians don't seem to me to be the kind of beings that would stand and fight against something a dozen times stronger than they are." I shook my head. "I think they'll back down once they realize they've been cornered."

The throne room was silent for a moment as each of the ponies mulled over my words. I could tell that they each had their reservations, but at the same time, given the extremely small time frame, they didn't have a better option, particularly since this one was likely bloodless on both ends. if I was wrong then, well, we'd win and get the hostages back. I had been studying up on some decently powerful magic, shield magic in particular, so if I located the hostages and things got ugly, I could protect them long enough for reinforcements to arrive. Still, I think they'd back down.

Of course, it didn't hurt to make contingency plans either, so I'd definitely be sure to make some of those, and I think I had some pretty good ones there too. Always good to have plans A-Z.

It was Luna who eventually broke the silence. "If thou art to be a leader in this country, thou must knowest how to plan and lead. Should you feel that you are completely in the right, you have Our support in your plan."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"And if it doesn't work?" Celestia shifted her gaze between the two of us. "If our subjects are lost to us?"

"Backup plans," I responded. "Between our guards we have an army, right? Once we know where they are, they'll have a pretty hard time getting out undetected, particularly with a hundred ponies weighing them down. Again, that's why I think they'll surrender. They're cornered."

Celestia turned her gaze to the map, and stared at the blue forest. Slowly she nodded, and I knew I had my way. "Very well, TD. You may take point on this endeavor." She looked back up at me, staring me dead in the eye. "I hope for the sake of us all that this does not fail."

"I don't think it will."

Celestia nodded again. "Then let us begin preparations at once." Celestia wordlessly beckoned the rest of the group to follow her, and they began walking out of the throne room. I, however, held back with Captain Blaze.

"Captain, there's something I need you to do."

Thanks to the fact that my army was already at hoof, we were ready to go in three hours. If the map was correct, the forest was a four hour flight from where we were, which did mean that some of my troops would be delayed in getting to where we needed to go, but hopefully everything would come together right anyway. After I got my entire force together and gave them some special instructions and training for an hour, we were off. I flew ahead with Lieutenant Rapids, and the two of us made pretty good time to the forest. We landed at the edge along with a detachment of thirty other pegasi.

I looked over to Lieutenant Rapids and noticed the uneasy look she gave the forest. I gave her a comforting smile. "I'll be fine. Just do your job, and everything should turn out okay."

Of course, now that we were actually at the edge of the forest and about to go through with the whole thing, I was having my doubts about it all too.

I mean, when I said the plan to myself in my head one more time, it sounded ridiculous. I was going to march into a forest to find a camp of bloodthirsty slave trader griffins, demand that they give up their captives, and I was going to do it pretty much alone. Well, in terms of actually being inside the camp, that is.

I turned back to Lieutenant Rapids, and she tried to return my comforting smile. "Good luck. Get them back safely, you hear?"

I slowly nodded. "Yeah. I'll do my best." I unfurled my wings and lifted off to fly into the forest.

If standing outside of the forest looking for the camp of bloodthirsty slave trader griffins whose camp I was going to walk into alone was nerve wracking, then actually flying towards it was much worse. At first, I was wondering how on Earth I was actually going to find the camp, but then I noticed a big mistake that those griffins made that prevented them from staying hidden: tracks. It's hard to move a hundred ponies through a forest and not leave some pretty distinctive markings. Good. It would make things easier for everybody. I was certain that my troops would be smart enough to notice them too, which up the chances of success considerably. Not that I hadn't taken precautions already in regards to them finding the camp if I did.

I figured that the camp would be deep in the forest, and I was quite right about that. I don't know how long I flew through it, but I was beginning to lose focus. All of the foliage was looking the same to me, and I was wondering if I was going in circles. The high, thick treetops meant that not as much sunlight was coming through as normal, which also made it harder to see in some spots. One of the things that kept me alert was the sounds of the birds chirping around me, forcing me to listen to every noise in case it was something out of the ordinary for a forest.

Something like talking.

I halted my breathing when I first heard it, and silently landed behind a large tree. I strained my ears to hear exactly what was being said, or even if I had just imagined it, but a few seconds of listening revealed that I had found what I was looking for. Griffins. Two of them in scrappy metal armor holding sharp metal spears, which they were leaning on as they talked to each other.

"Good haul yesterday," said the one on my right.

"Yeah. I expect some of 'em won't be worth anythin' but ya never know," said the other.

"Just so long as Celestia or Luna doesn't find out before we can unload the cargo, we're fine."

"Or that new one." The one on my left tapped the side of his beak. "What was her name? Antarnet?"

"Close. Antarta," The other replied. "She's the princess of something like..." He shrugged. "I dunno, somethin' whimpy."

"Actually, my name is Princess Antares, and I'm the princess of snark, sarcasm, foal services, and pastries. None of which are particularly whimpy."

The two griffins nearly jumped out of their skin and feathers. The spun around so fast to see who was talking that I'm surprised that they didn't lose some of their feathers in the process. I, meanwhile, gave them a casual smile while they registered that the third most powerful pony in the world was looking right at them. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I've heard tell that some ponies have gone missing around here. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

The two griffins stared at me in open-mouthed shock for a solid minute before the brain of the one on the right rebooted, and he shakily pointed his spear at me. "W-what are you doin' here?!"

"I already said." I took a step forwards, prompting the other griffin to raise his spear. "I'm looking for the ponies who have been lost." A thoughtful look crossed my face. "As a matter of fact, I believe I heard the two of you talking about how you had them. I don't suppose I misheard you, did I?"

The two griffins, whom I could only presume were scouts, exchanged an uneasy glance. "Er... well..."

"I know you have a camp or a fort of some sort around here." I scanned the forest. "You'd have to to house that many captured ponies. How about you give me a tour? Maybe you take me to see your leader?"

The one on the right gulped, but put on his best brave face. "Now you see here, we don't take orders from pony folk, even if they are princesses!"

I sighed. "If you insist." Before either of them could react, I fired a beam of magic out of my horn and completely disintegrated the spear of the guard on the right, who jumped back with a shriek of terror, and the other one nearly fell backwards himself. I gave them both pleasant smiles. "So, you think you can give me that tour now?"

They both quickly nodded, and I began following them towards their camp. So far everything was going according to plan. The grunts were acting exactly as expected, but the leaders were a whole 'nother ball of wax. If whoever ran this outfit was just as cowardly to bit of strong-arming, then I'd have no issues, but, I knew that we'd have to see.

As it turned out, we were only a five minute walk from the fort. And yes, I mean fort. It was a large fort built with logs, and the ends of the logs that made up the walls were spiked. Now, that wouldn't do anything to a pegasus or unicorn assault, but it did look threatening. Guards similarly clad to the ones that I was with patrolled the walls, also armed with sharp spears. One of them manning the gate saw us coming, and ran over to a nearby bell. He began pounding on it, and the griffins on the wall began flocking towards him.

I stopped when I reached the gate and looked up at the griffin guards. "Hello there. My name is Princess Antares, but I think that you may already know that."

The griffin guards murmured something amongst themselves, but after a few moments, one of them looked down at me. "State your business."

I gave him a wide smile. "Well, I'm with the Girl Scouts, and we're going door-to-door to all of the other evil forts in the area and selling cookies so we can earn some merit badges and raise money to go on a camping trip. I left my Girl Scout hat at home, but I promise I am one."

That baffled the heck out of them. The guards looked at each other like they weren't quite sure what they had just heard, and thus didn't quite know how to respond. I rolled my eyes and decided to throw them a bone. "Another cause we wanted to raise money for is a hundred poor souls who were captured by griffin raiders fitting your description. We were looking to free them, you see."

"Ah." A smirk crossed the guard's face, and he shared a chuckle with his fellows. "You're here for the ponies? Well, I'm afraid we don't have any ponies."

"I didn't say anything about ponies, I just said poor souls."

The smug smile slid off of the guard's face, and he nervously adjusted his grip on his spear. "Uh... W-well, I just assumed that... uh..."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Look, I have an entire army ready to obliterate you at a moment's notice. Just give them to me and we can all walk away, okay?"

The guards on the wall began murmuring again, but there was more than a little fear and uncertainty behind it this time. This was probably not what they had been counting on when they decided to capture the villagers.

The guard I had been talking to uneasily scratched the back of his neck before looking back down to me. "Er... wait right here. I'll go tell Lord Sinosis you're here."

I tilted my head in a small bow. "'Preciate it."

The griffin flew into the camp, and the two griffins who had led me here flew into the air themselves and into the fort away from me. I'm surprised they didn't do that sooner. The griffin guard came back after a minute. "Lord Sinosis will see you now."

I nodded, and the gate in front of me slowly opened up, allowing me to walk inside. Now, I suppose that I could have just flown over, but there were manners to be observed at this juncture. No need to be barbaric as of yet. That was for later.

As it turned out, the inside of the fort was fairly large. Large enough to house a small army and whatever captives they took. I passed by dozens of griffin raiders lounging around, wearing scrounged up armor and carrying second-grade weapons. None of them would hurt me, as far as I knew, but I still wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of them.

I didn't have too much time to think about that, though, as I was rapidly approaching a one of the larger buildings which looked to be a little sturdier that the other ones. The door was guarded by two griffins standing at attention, so I got the feeling that it wasn't the latrine.

Or it could have been for all I knew.

It, of course, wasn't, and I found that out when the door opened, and a griffin dressed in immaculate full black armor, sans helmet, came strutting out, flanked by six stone-faced griffins with spears and wing-blades. Quality ones too, if what Shining Armor's teachings were accurate.

The two of us stopped a few paces in front of each other, and the griffin gave me a smirk, but a small head tilt bow. "It's not every day we get a princess in the camp, your majesty."

I couldn't miss the sarcasm with which he said those last two words if I tried... nor his vaguely UK accent, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. I pushed those thoughts aside and returned his smirk, but not his bow. "Well, you get visits from royalty when you capture their subjects."

"It would seem so, Princess Antares." The griffin motioned to himself. "I'm Lord Sinosis, By the way. I like to be addressed as such."

"Indeed?" I shrugged. "Well, Lord Sinosis, I take it you know why I'm here and what I want."

"You want your subjects back."

"Yep."

Sinosis snorted and his smirk widened ever so slightly. "And, uh, explain to me your reasoning for why I should? I mean, you're all alone here. We could beat you and be gone with 'em before the rest of you found this place." His smirk turned slightly smug. "Or we could do less savory things to lighten the load, so to speak."

"I imagine you would." I widened my own smirk. "But I don't think you will. You see, you'd incur the wrath of the entire Equestrian army, which knows you're here, by the way, so I don't see you getting out of this unless you let them go."

"Izzat right?" Sinosis snorted. "Maybe they know we're in the forest, but the specifics? I doubt it. You see, My scouts would know if an entire army was coming through to get to us, and we wouldn't be having this discussion in that instance." He took a step towards me. "I know it's just you. Aside from the ones I got from the raid, you're the only pony around."

I was about to respond, but I noticed something. A slight wing gesture from him. It was barely noticeable on its own, but the fact that a few griffins took a few steps closer to me made it more so. "Imagine it: me, the first in my kind of work to collect an actual Equestria princess." Sinosis shrugged. "A dumb one who came to me alone, but you are a once in an era catch for somebody like me."

Yeah, I thought so.

I ignited my horn and tore a spear out of the grasp of one of the guards just in time to use the end of it to crack a charging raider over the head. He fell to the ground, clutching his head, but I didn't have time to revel in that. Sinosis let out a piercing whistle, and griffins began flocking towards me from all over the camp.

Turns out there were a lot of them. A lot more than I thought, which wasn't good odds for me, especially if they all charged me at once. I steeled myself and began swinging the spear wildly left and right, connecting with griffin skulls while taking several blows of my own. I was quickly being overwhelmed, and I knew it. The thought crossed my mind that I needed an exit strategy, and fast. I would need to come back with my guards.

I might have waited a little too long to do that, though. I was tackled to the ground by three griffins, while a fourth took my spear away. In a short moment, I was surrounded by at least a dozen of them, all of whom were taking turns hitting me as hard as they could with the end of their spears and, in one nasty case, a hammer. I thanked my alicorn biology that I was more resilient to weapons. Still, all I could do was lie there and take it. I'd definitely be sore in the morning, probably with some nasty bruises, too.

I don't know how long they wailed on me, but eventually I heard Sinosis whistle again, and the beatings stopped. I didn't groan in pain, though. I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. Even so, I couldn't help but flinch back when I felt my legs being tied together and a magic blocker being slipped onto my horn. I heard Sinosis chuckling as a muzzle was secured over my face.

"And there was me thinking beating an Equestrian princess was going to be difficult." Sinosis snapped his talons. "Get her out of here."

Author's Notes:

Dun, dun, duuuunnn!

... No, this isn't going grimdark, or too dramatic, or anything like that.

Tis Death, Tis Life

A deafening cheer went through the entire raiding party as I was picked up and paraded through the camp. Sinosis led the parade towards wherever I assume they were keeping the prisoners, his chest puffed out and a beaming smile on his face. No doubt he thought he'd be the most feared warlord in the history of ever now. I have to admit, an Equestrian princess is no small catch. If I knew my history, only three beings had ever managed to completely subdue one: Celestia to Nightmare Moon/Luna, Chrysalis to Cadance, and now this joker to me.

Though if he thought I'd just give up because I was tied up, he had another thing coming.

I was carried towards a large wooden door in the camp, and I guessed that all of the prisoners were behind the door, awaiting transport to wherever the griffins decided they would go. Before the door was opened, Sinosis raised his fist, and I was thrown to the ground at his talons. He gave me a smug smile, and put a claw on my head.

"Gentlemen, we have achieved something that none of our kind has ever done before: we have successfully captured an Equestrian princess!" Another cheer went through the crowd for a moment, before Sinosis raised his fist to silence them again. "Of course, we have to decide what we're going to do with her." He looked down to me and gave me a nasty grin. "Chop off her horn and wings then give her as a pet to a Diamond Dog king? Send her to a minotaur gladiator arena?" He snorted. "Heck, I might just keep her for meself and make her my personal servant. Could travel around and charge other beings to see one of Equestria's princesses now the lowest of the low."

Uh huh. You keep thinking that, buddy.

Sinosis shrugged. "I have some time to think about it. Open the holding cell and throw her in until I decide what to do with her. If any of the others so much as touches her, kill them at once."

The griffin raiders cheered again as the door opened, and I was picked up again. I did my best to turn my head and look inside the holding cell to see what was inside.

Yep, the missing ponies were in there. Most of them were huddled in the corner, holding on to each other in a state of total fear. The few unicorns in the group had magic blockers, and the pegasi's wings were tied to their sides, a fate that befell me once I was inside. The gathered ponies gasped, and once or two of them even started crying when they saw me tied up like I was. In truth, it probably was a little disheartening to see a princess captured. I mean, to them, if a princess couldn't save them, who could?

After my wings were tied to my sides, I was dragged to one of the walls and a rope leash was placed around my neck. Honestly, that just made the whole thing funnier to me. Did they seriously think that I couldn't get out if I wanted to, that I couldn't snap these ropes? I did actually have earth pony strength now. Heck, I was probably on par with Big Macintosh, if not stronger, so simple ropes wouldn't hold me down.

Of course, if I did try to escape, it could mean trouble for the captive ponies, so I stayed still.

Once I was secured, Sinosis turned to the huddled ponies and pointed at me. "If any of you so much as touches her, you won't live five seconds, understood?" He pointed to the wall, where griffins armed with crossbows patrolled above to ensure compliance. "Your precious princess is mine now, just as you are! There is no escape. Never forget that."

Sinosis strutted out of the holding cell, and the large wooden door slammed shut and locked. Well, now I had relative privacy away from that moron. With some effort, I pushed myself up to the point where I could lean against the wall and faced the ponies. I was only about ten feet from the nearest one, so most of them were able to see it when I winked at them, something that changed the terror on most of their faces to confusion, and in some cases hope. One of the nearer ones, an earth pony stallion, leaned in close to me.

"Is rescue coming? Do you have a plan to get us out of here?"

I snorted and nodded. I jerked my head up to the griffins patrolling the walls and rolled my eyes. Cries of relief went through the crowd, and I tried to get more comfortable as they chattered amongst themselves about how I would get them out. They had enough sense to not ask me how I was going to do it, I was muzzled on top of the fact that they were watching us, so all we could do at that point was wait for my plan to be enacted. Hopefully it would go off without a hitch. I mean, given that I was one of the most powerful beings in the world, I could technically use my magic to kill all of the griffins in this camp easily, but I wanted this to be a relatively bloodless affair, and, if I planned right, it would be.

Night fell on the camp a few hours later, and a trio of griffins came into the holding cell to give the prisoners a meal of bread and water. None for me, of course, but that didn't bother me. They needed it more anyway. I'd treat all of them to a proper meal once we were all out of here, which would be sooner rather than later if my plan came to fruition.

Which it sounded like was right about now.

I hear talking on the walls near the front gate that didn't sound like idle talk. It was more akin to how the gate guards talked when I was talking with them, so it seemed like somebody was there. I strained my ears, but couldn't hear what they were saying. Didn't really need to, though. I had a pretty good idea.

The talking ceased, and the door to the holding cell swung open, revealing a thoroughly irked Sinosis, flanked by four of his guards. He growled at me and used one of his wing blades to cut my leash, allowing his guards to pick me up and carry me towards the wall above the gate. When we reached it, I was forced onto my knees while Sinosis held a knife to my throat, allowing me to see what the hullabaloo was about.

Captain Blaze, all alone as expected, a small smirk on his face. Sinosis growled again. "We have your princess, and I will kill her and the captives if you do not withdraw immediately!"

Captain Blaze, rather than be intimidated, chuckled and took a step forwards. "I don't see why you think that would put you in a better position. We already know where you are, and I assure you that a single scratch on Princess Antares would result in a most painful death being brought upon you." Blaze shrugged. "But hey, if you want to try, go ahead."

Sinosis turned his head to one of his archers, and pointed at Captain Blaze. "Kill him!"

The archer raised his crossbow, took aim, and fired directly at my captain. His aim was true, and it whizzed straight at his head. Of course, I don't think he expected it to harmlessly bounce off of the shield spell that one of my hidden troops was casting, so that put a damper on their plans.

Of course, it also pissed Sinosis off immensely.

"I'm giving you three seconds to leave before I carry out my threat! You would be wise to not test me!" He narrowed his eyes. "My scouts would know if an army was on its way."

Captain Blaze chuckled again. "Not if the scouts never made it back to camp." He took another step forward. "Of course, you firing upon me is all the cause I need to wipe you out."

With that, Captain Blaze spread his legs in an aggressive stance and raised one of his forelegs high. "Ringa pakia!

A single beat of silence.

"Uma tiraha!"

Another.

"Turi whatia!"

A third.

"Hope whai ake!"

They were in for it now.

"Waewae takahia kia kino!"

The second the last syllable left his lips, the fort was surrounded by hundreds of burning torches, illuminating for the first time the entire Snarcasti-guard, out in full force and armed to the teeth. The torches were so numerous, it looked like the entire forest was on fire.

With a shout, they all stomped their hooves on the ground so loud that one would have thought an explosion had gone off before they all began chanting.

A previously unseen magical aura dissipated from around Captain Blaze's helmet, and blood slowly dripped down his face as he screamed again. Ka mate, ka mate!

The entire army responded. All five hundred of them. "Ka ora' Ka ora'!"

"Ka mate, ka mate!"

"Ka ora' Ka ora'!"

With that last cry, the entire guard went into the haka, screaming it to the high heavens. "Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru Nāna i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā A Upane! Ka Upane! Upane Kaupane Whiti te rā,! Hī!"

The effect on the griffin raiders was immediate. The screaming, the stomping, the blood dripping down the faces of my soldiers, the pegasi slapping their armored wings against one another, the illusion that the entire forest was alight... yeah, they started screaming their heads off and flying for their lives. Of course, I had pegasi guards positioned in the sky, and they started firing knockout darts into the fleeing griffins, and they fell to the ground. Given that they had dropped their weapons when they started fleeing, my guards were in no danger at all.

I looked over at Sinosis as my army started to repeat the haka, and smiled when I saw that he was completely frozen with fear. The talon holding the knife was shaking, and he was incapable of hurting me with it at this point. I chuckled and sent a burst of magic through my horn that overloaded the horn blocker and shattered it. To my delight, a piece of it bounced off of his head, but he was in such shock that he hardly noticed. I untied and unmuzzled myself before taking the knife from him.

I smirked and leaned in next to his ear. "And there was me thinking that beating a griffin warlord with a small army was going to be difficult."

He blinked once, but otherwise didn't say anything. I snorted and used my magic to open up the gate.

Author's Notes:

Alright, everybody who thought he was dumb enough to just walk in without a plan owes me a dollar. Heck, I do have that donation button...

The intimidation dance the snarcasti-guard did is a New Zealand Maori haka, often performed by the New Zealand All-Blacks, but instead of thirty guys doing it, it's hundreds of armored ponies with blood dripping down their faces at night surrounded by what seems to be a forest on fire.

And no, it is not copyrighted by anybody.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS_iBV3ljxI

Don't Do That Again

All told, we captured one hundred and sixteen griffins pretty much without a fight, and not a drop of blood spilled. The blood dripping out of the helmets of the guards? Fake. I think the griffins thought that it was the blood of the scouts that my guard captured before coming over.

We stripped them of their weapons and armor before holding them in the very holding cell they forced the ponies into. We had a celebratory meal with the rescued ponies, and they were quite grateful for it. They looked much healthier after it, anyways. Of course we fed the prisoners too, and better then they fed the captives. We weren't total barbarians.

After that, we got them all ready to march back to the rest of the Equestrian army so that we could figure out what to do with them from there. Given that we weren't a very long way into the forest, it was quite a reasonable walk, and within four hours, we were all out.

I led the way, and thus was the first to see the princesses and the captains, all geared for combat in the event that I came back with less than stellar news. I was quite thankful that Cadance and Shining Armor didn't wear matching battle armor like a "cutesy couple."

The six of them ran up to me when they saw me come out of the forest, and I saw more than a little relief in their eyes.

"You have returned." Celestia looked behind me and smiled when she saw ponies coming through the trees, laughing and smiling. "You were successful, then?"

I smirked at her and nodded. "Completely. I got every single one of 'em back without a scratch. I asked them when we were on our way back. No casualties on their end."

"Did it come to battle?" Luna asked. "We see there are prisoners, but were there casualties?"

My smirk widened ever so slightly. "Not a single one on either side. All one hundred and sixteen griffin raiders are now our prisoners, and none of my guards have a scratch on them."

"I see." Celestia's gaze trailed over to the griffin prisoners, who were being directed by Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids. "Well, we shall have to discuss what is done with them, be that trying them ourselves, or hoofing them over to the Griffonian government."

I shrugged. "To me we gotta debrief with their emperor anyway. I mean, we did technically take our entire army into his lands." A grimace crossed my face. "Although I want to have some frank words with him about that."

"We'll talk more about that later," said Celestia with a wave of her hoof. "For now, tell us what occurred in the forest."

I spent the next ten minutes recapping everything that I had experienced what I had done while dealing with the griffin raiders. The princesses and captains were silent while I told my story, but I could see that they had a few reservations about the way that I did things. Eh. Let them. It worked, didn't it?

When I finished they were all quiet for a few moments before Celestia spoke up. "I do not understand: why exactly did you not simply intimidate them from the very start? The intimidation dance would have worked well at any time correct?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. It would have worked much better at night when things were more confusing for them. They would have been able to see more of my guard in the daytime, and I didn't want that. I went in during the day to keep an eye on the captives, but my guard was always there if I was in a tight spot. I just had to overload the horn blocker and send up a flare."

"You said you had a tracking spell on you?" said Shining Armor.

I nodded. "Yeah. I thought that they would put me with the captives, which would mean that my army knew exactly where the captives were inside the base, so they wouldn't have to spend time searching the base for them. They could just go there right away. Also, if I'm in the base, they're focused completely on me and not them."

"So why did you go in alone?" Cadance asked. "It seems to me that you could have just walked in with a token guard and promised them that they would have been obliterated if they tried to hurt any of the hostages." Cadance shrugged. "I dunno, you can even do that at night and have them run like they did. It just seems like the quicker option."

I returned her shrug. "Well, I wanted the element of surprise, and I wanted to check on the captives as soon as possible. Also, doing it that way, with the haka, shows that my guard is not to be trifled with, and is a force to be reckoned with."

Cadance looked a little more mollified, but Celestia was still slightly frowning. I tilted my head slightly at her. "What?"

She sighed quietly and shook her head. "It's not a big detail this time as your plan worked, but I feel that you took some unnecessary risks." I opened my mouth to retort, but she forestalled me with a raised hoof. "I understand that you had backup plans for your backup plans, and I cannot deny the effectiveness of your force's haka, but you could have combined that with your natural Alpha Alicorn power. You could have had the whole thing wrapped up in ten minutes and had the exact same result."

I frowned and glanced over at Luna who nodded. "The Royal Canterlot voice as well as some subtle environmental changes would have worked to great effect. We understand that you wanted to psychologically manipulate them into doing your bidding, and that is indeed the best way to non-violently achieve your goals, but presenting yourself as weak from the start is counter-productive, we feel."

Despite the fact that I really liked my plan, and even more so that it worked, I could see their points. As a princess, presenting myself as weak, even to somebody I was about to thoroughly thrash, probably wasn't the best idea. I mean, it didn't get everyone killed or anything, but... well, I coulda been simpler about it.

Celestia must have noticed my slight discomfort, because she smiled at me and put a hoof on my shoulder. "This was your first true crisis, and, while your plan was not flawless, you showed that you could lead your ponies without resorting to violence, and you kept everypony safe. For a first effort, it is not bad at all."

I perked my ears back up, but that feeling of "you didn't do as well as you could have" didn't leave me. I mean, it worked though, so it's not like I screwed up so bad that everybody got killed. I guess I just had to work on it a little more for next time.

If there was going to be a next time in this regard, and I had some definite ideas about that. Although, I was beginning to doubt myself a little on that front after their deconstruction of my plan to get everybody out. I sighed and glanced over at the POWs.

"What's going to happen to them, then?"

"We will be meeting with Emperor Aepnet soon to discuss that," said Luna. "'Tis likely that Aepnet will take them back to their lands to stand trial for what they have done, with a little input from us, of course."

I frowned slightly at that. "And what exactly would their deterrent be?" I shook my head. "I mean, if he's throwing them, in jail for five to ten years or something, what's going to stop them from just starting it up again once they're out?"

Going down that trail also led me to think more on me allowing myself to get captured. Again, I did it to look after the captives to make sure they were safe, but let's say Sinosis does get out and builds up a military force again. He could have a perception that I personally was weak, as he captured me when I didn't have my army around, as far as he knew, but he did. Maybe he'll think that if he gets me alone somehow he can grab me again. Then I'd have to use violence to get out, and that could get all kinds of ugly.

Sheesh, I wasn't used to the idea that my actions now could have repercussions for hundreds of years down the line. The joys of being a princess, I suppose.

Well, I couldn't think about that right now. I had to think about how to deal with this Aepnet guy and the fallout of the raid. Heck, the guy could be mad that we moved roughly a quarter of our army into his territory. Sure it was to get our subjects back, but he might not see it that way.

"So do we go hard on them?" I asked. "I mean, not even just the raiders, but Aepnet too? From what you said before we went through with this, he didn't really crack down on them, even though he knew this was a problem."

Celestia's expression turned grim, and she sighed. "Well, I'm unsure as of now. Part of me wishes to gauge by his temperament. If he is apologetic and wishes to make amends by cracking down harder on this in the future, then we will allow it after the trials of the raiders."

"And if not?"

"Then we do not go easier on him." Luna grimaced and looked towards Celestia. "Thou knows as well as We that Aepnet is not a ruler who would willingly turn his troops on his own subjects, especially for the sake of our own."

"Well, then we make him." I looked in the direction of the forest. "We were the ones who did all of the work, right? Well, say that the forest is now Equestrian territory, and that goes for any griffin land we have to go into to get our ponies back. He's going to crack down on raiders much harder if he feels that he has territory to lose, correct?"

"Certainly, but it would also deal a heavy blow to future diplomatic relations with him." I could tell that Celestia didn't want to sound like she was patiently explaining something obvious to a child, but that was kind of how it felt to me. "Aepnet is a paranoid leader, and he would see that as the beginnings of an invasion, and he would likely muster up his forces, looking for any excuse to take it back."

"And it dominoes from there," I finished. Yeah, I guess I could see where Celestia was coming from. Still, it was kinda sucky that we'd basically say "hey, deal with this so we don't have to do it again," and he'd respond "okay" and then not do anything.

Well, we didn't have to wait too long for everything to go down. After another ten or so minutes of discussing what was going to happen, a chariot came speeding towards us, pulled by six griffons wearing dark green armor. On the back of the chariot was a griffin that, if I had to guess, was middle-aged, based on the gray feathers that he was starting to get that were standing out against his normally brown ones. He wore a large, gold and jewel encrusted crown on his head, and a red and purple velvet cape fluttered behind him. A rather pompous grin was plastered on his face, as if he was saying "oh yeah, I'm better than all of you just because I'm me."

Another griffin was sitting beside him on the chariot, this one not wearing anything. She was resting her head in one of her claws, and had a look on her face that told me that she would rather be anywhere but here.

The chariot touched down in front of the eight of us, and the two griffins on the back got off. The emperor and the other griffin, maybe a servant or something, walked towards us, and stopped when they were just a few feet away. He widened his pompous grin ever so slightly, but tilted his head in a bow to Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. He rather conspicuously skipped me, and I know that the other three princesses, and the captains, noticed.

"Princesses, how are you this fine night?" said Aepnet. He motioned over to the other griffin. "You have met my daughter Kathyrine, correct?"

Kathyrine rolled her eyes and tapped her claw on the ground. "Every time you meet them you force me to come along and every time you introduce me to them, Dad." She snorted. "I think they know who I am."

Aepnet's smile faltered slightly, but only for a moment. He turned his attention to me. "Well, have you met Kathyrine, Princess...?” He trailed off as he stared at me, but his smile quickly returned double. "I have just realized that we have never formally met, Princess Antares!" He extended a claw, and I slowly reached a hoof up to shake it. "I do wish it was under better circumstances, but it is lovely to meet you all the same."

"Great, another one," Kathyrine muttered. "You gonna try to marry me off to this one too for an 'alliance with Equestria?'"

I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that until I saw Shining Armor take a half-step towards Cadance out of the corner of my eye. Well, that was a little awkward. I'd have to get the full story on that one later if they were willing to tell me. I had to focus on the here and now, though. We had an emperor to chew out a little.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too. I hope everything tonight goes... well."

Aepnet nodded. "Indeed that is my hope. In fact..." Aepnet glanced back at the captured raiders, all of whom were staring at their emperor with looks of total horror on their faces. They knew they were in for it now. He looked back to me. "Why don't just you and I talk about everything? Surely we don't need four princesses to talk about something as silly as a little border dispute."

"This was more than 'a little border dispute,' Aepnet, and thou knows it!" Luna snapped. "Your subjects captured and attempted to enslave over a hundred of ours!"

"Yes, and I am sorry about that," said Aepnet with a tone not unlike somebody talking to a child having a temper tantrum, "and we will work out the details of it what happens next, but, as I said, why do we need all four of you?" Aepnet turned his head back to me with that pompous smile I was really growing to like. "I have heard some accounts of what happened, and it sounded like Princess Antares settled getting your subjects back on her own. Surely only the two of us need to talk."

It was pretty apparent what he was doing. He saw me as the weakest of the four, despite what I had just pulled off. I think he knew he'd get a pretty raw deal from Celestia or Luna, and would get politically trounced by both at once, but somebody like me who was just starting out? I think he thought that he could play me like a violin.

Well, considering my whopping zero time logged in international politics, he might have been right. On top of that, we hadn't one hundred percent figured out what we wanted from Aepnet yet. I mean, there was still a small part of me that wanted to add the forest to Equestrian territory since we were the only ones who had bothered to do anything with it recently, but Celestia already pointed out that might be a bad idea. Still, I had to learn this stuff at some point, right? Doing it with Aepnet while the other three were right here was probably the best situation.

"Okay, we can talk," I said carefully. I glanced back at the other three, who were looking suspiciously at Aepnet. I tilted my head in a slight nod. "We'll be close, though."

"Excellent." Aepnet chuckled and jovially slapped me on the shoulder. "We'll have this whole matter sorted out in no time, I'm sure."

I glared at Aepnet, and he seemed to deflate a little. I wasn't yet familiar enough with him, nor did I like him enough, to allow him to slap me on the shoulder like that. Kathyrine must have noticed, because her perpetually irritated expression turned amused. I rolled my eyes and beckoned Aepnet to follow me a few feet away from the main group. Both he and Kathyrine followed.

"So, what were you thinking should be done about this whole thing?" I looked over Aepnet's shoulder to the captured griffins. "I assume you have some ideas."

Aepnet shrugged. "Well, obviously I would like to take the raiders back to my country to stand trial." His expression turned to one of obviously fake sorrow. "I am appalled that this happened, but I am glad that your methods resulted in success."

"Yeah, yeah, I read the story of Gideon in Sunday School," I said with a wave of my hoof. "It worked, but we have to move past that, right? We're talking about our prisoners." A slight glare appeared on my face. "What assurances do we have that this sort of thing isn't going to happen again?"

Aepnet chuckled and shook his head. "Oh, Princess Antares, you must have more faith in me than that. You see, I know that we've let the problem get out of claw, but now that you've... made your point, we'll try harder to keep this thing from happening again."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Well, we'll increase security on our borders for one. Crack down on griffin raiders when we find their camps, make an example of these raiders..." He sighed, and it was the kind of sigh of somebody who thought they were doing a great chore for no reason. "I will make sacrifices for the peace of our nation."

Now, based on what Celestia told me, I wasn't going to get much more out of the guy in terms of concessions, without some strong-arming. He was clearly doing this for his own interests, and I didn't trust him nearly as far as I could throw him, which, considering my new powers, was quite a considerable distance.

"So... how many troops are you going to put on the Equestrian border again?" My eyes narrowed. "And how long will they be there?"

Aepnet shrugged. "Who knows? Nobody really knows how deep the infestation runs. You could have gotten all of them for all I know."

"Yeah, that's another thing." My glare hardened slightly. "Why exactly didn't you deal with this before now when you knew it was a problem?"

"The raiders had gone quiet, and have been for a few years now, at least in terms of attacks on this scale." Aepnet snorted. "What, you expect us to attack them when we have no reason to believe that they've done anything?"

"But you're going to pound down on them now, right?"

"Sure." Aepnet looked back at the captured raiders. "We wouldn't want any more nasty incidents like this, would we?"

"Good, because if you don't we're going to have to deal with it again, and neither of us want that, right?" I took an imposing step towards him, much to the amusement of Kathyrine. "Do you really want a quarter of our army moved into Griffonia again?"

Aepnet's eyes widened for a moment, but they quickly hardened into a glare. "Now see here! You can't go around threatening me! I have already said that I would make amends for the situation, and that should be good enough for you!"

I scoffed at him. He was beginning to get on my nerves more than a little bit. "We're the ones who had to deal with it in the first place! What, you think I liked going into that camp to get my subjects back?"

"Yes, you got yourself captured, I heard," said Aepnet coolly. He chuckled quietly and idly examined his talons. "It is embarrassing that your army had to come bail you out, is it not?"

"It was part of my plan!"

"I'm sure it was." Goodie. There was his condescending tone again. "You're new at this, so you overstepped your bounds in terms of what you can do. You did a fine job of creating your army, though."

"You weren't even there," I snapped. "And I didn't see you doing anything more productive!"

"Indeed." Aepnet sighed and shook his head. "I can see that you are getting worked up about all of this. A little failure on your part isn't something to be embarrassed about. Not on your first military campaign. You won, and that's all that matters." He clicked his tongue. "I suppose I had better go talk to Celestia then. She might have a better perspective on the whole thing."

Before I could say another word otherwise, Aepnet turned tail and walked back over to the other princesses. I know that Celestia didn't miss the glare that I gave him, and neither did Kathyrine who just rolled her eyes.

I sighed and growled at the same time as I watched him go. Captain Blaze must have noticed how frustrated I was, because he walked up to me, also glaring slightly at Aepnet. "Didn't go well?"

I scoffed. "No. I don't think he ever intended to just talk with me about what happened. He wanted to know if he could get one up on me." I angrily bit the inside of my lip. "Well, I've figured him out too, so I'll just have Celestia teach me the best ways to deal with him."

"Smart, I guess," said Blaze. "You're going to have to deal with a lot of beings trying to get one over on you, so it's good to learn now, I guess."

"Yeah," I grumbled. I shook my head and looked back at the raiders. "Yeah."

Author's Notes:

BTW, I've started laying some of the groundwork for the first few chapters of Life of a Non-Brony. Also, I have decided to add TD vs Equestria Girls to this universe because, as I think we all can agree, Equestria Girls would be improved with Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids helping TD solve everything with their sarcasm powers. .

Oh For Goodness Sakes

Well, Celestia wasn't really willing to take any of Aepnet's crap either. Given that Celestia was the princess that Aepnet had to deal with his entire reign for the most part, I can't see why Aepnet would be surprised that Celestia wasn't willing to listen to his nonsense. He should have dealt with the raiders before they tried something like this, plain and simple, and Celestia didn't seem to be willing to believe otherwise.

Well, it was fun watching him flounder under Celestia's stern glare. He is nervously poking at the ground while Celestia and Luna glare at him. Kathyrine is simply facepalming him, and I can't blame her. I'd be pretty embarrassed if I showed up and this was how my father was acting too.

While they were dealing with the garbage that had come to us, I decided to come and look at the trash I was about to take out. I trotted over to the collection of POWs and looked down at all of them. Most of them cowered before me, refusing to make eye contact with me. The ones that had been knocked out by the knockout darts my soldiers had fired had come too and were sitting there, staring at me with wide, fearful eyes. The one who interested me the most, however, was Sinosis. He wasn't looking so scared anymore, even though I was fully aware that he was at least a little. It's hard to just get over the kind of fear that you feel when you're so scared that you can't even move. Like I said, though, he didn't seem so afraid now. He was staring at me with a smirk on his face and his arms crossed. I returned his smirk and trotted up to him.

"You seem calm."

He snorted and idly examined one of his claws. "I don't think that I have anything to fear."

"Indeed?" I chuckled and sat down in front of him. "You realize that you're in deep trouble, yes? We're going to be doing a lot of digging about your activities in the very near future. We're going to find out just how extensive your actions are."

Sinosis shrugged and began cleaning out his head feathers with his talons. "Yeah, well, I won't worry too much about that. You see, I have some interesting information that I think you especially would really like."

I raised my eyebrow and tapped my hoof on the ground. "Do tell?"

"Ah ah ah." Sinosis wiggled his talon at me condescendingly. "I'm sure royalty knows how this kind of thing works. I tell and I go free. That seems like a fair deal, doesn't it?"

"Oh not remotely." I shook my head and looked over to Celestia who was still chewing Aepnet out. "A few words won't erase the psychological damage you inflicted upon a hundred ponies, Mr. Sinosis. You can certainly get your sentence lessened if your information proves useful, but don't think that anything you're going to say is going to let you go free as a bird... no pun intended."

"Izzat so?" Sinosis' smirk widened and he leaned in closer to me by a few inches. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids took a few steps forwards, but I waved them off. "What if I told you that I didn't exactly act of my own accord? Like, somegriffin hired me to take your precious ponies?"

Well, that was certainly new information. Something that I hadn't considered before given the natures of the raiders. Of course, if money did drive them, then why wouldn't they kidnap and enslave for hire? Maybe he was talking out of the other side of his face, but it was worth spending a little attention on. It didn't hurt me any.

"I'm listening."

"That's all you’re getting from me until I can go free." Sinosis' expression hardened into a glare. "I'm not one who is easily bullied. I'll grant that your trick in the forest was a good one. A very good one, but it is a one-use thing, Antares. It won't work again. You can't force the answer out of me."

"And I'm not letting you go completely free unless I know what the information is," I retorted, "so we'll go quid pro quo on it. You tell me a little bit, and I'll decide if it’s worth my time. The more I like it, the lesser your punishment. I will not let you off in one go, understood? You accept this or I walk away."

The corners of Sinosis' mouth curled into a snarl, but he knew as well as I that he was in absolutely no position to deny my request. All I had to do was say no and walk away and he was left at the mercy of the Equestrian government. But if I said that I might ease up punishment, I couldn't go back on that any more than the other princesses could veto me.

"It's a deal. The first little tidbit that I have for you is that I had no real reason to go out of hiding to pull this job."

"No reason that I know of doesn't mean that you had no personal reason. Not good enough."

"I'd need a trump card in case I got caught, I'd need a real reason to risk my entire organization and all of my men to get a few slaves when I knew that there was a new princess right on my doorstep with a fresh five hundred pony strong army that could be down on me in a few hours if I was hiding in the most likely place, which I was."

Hmm. Okay. Interesting point. He had piqued my interest, and he knew it. His glower turned back into a smirk and he idly examined one of his talons again. "When you think about it, what I did seems pretty stupid when you consider where you are and how fast you lot tend to respond to these scenarios. It also seems pretty clumsy of me to let one of only a hundred ponies escape all of the way to one of your major cities, doesn't it?"

Okay, now he really had my attention. I slowly nodded as the cogs in my brain worked. "We won't tear your wings off or declaw you."

That made his smile falter. He hadn't realized that he was sitting in that kind of a fire, I'll wager. Truth be told he wasn't, but I had to start that high so that he didn't reveal so much information that I was forced to let him go after a short amount of time. I spun my hoof to indicate to him to keep going. He weakly cleared his throat and did so.

"So I guess the question you have to ask yourself is why would I do it? Why would I risk my organization, my men, potentially my life all for a few gryph*-a-dozen slaves? What exactly was I offered that would make that particular spot worth it? I could have gone literally anywhere else, that's the best part of being a slaver like I am: I'm mobile. I could pick up more valuable slaves somewhere else. Why did I pick that exact spot?"

"You won't get life in prison. Keep going."

More griffins and snarcasti-guards around us were listening in now. I have to wonder how many of them knew about what Sinosis was talking about, but most of them seemed to be curious, which made sense. The less griffins who know, the harder it is for the secret to get out.

"I'd need the backing of somebody really powerful, somebody who I could count on to get me out of the inevitable mess that I'd be in. I knew that I'd be safe since Equestria isn't a warlike nation, but it is still one that I would have to surrender to given who leads it."

"Give me a name. Who hired you?"

"I want to go free!" Sinosis snarled. "I'll give you every single detail including correspondence letters which I kept for exactly this reason if I get off completely free!"

"I can't make those kinds of promises here and now while we're sitting in a field," I snapped. "How the heck am I supposed to know that any of what you're telling me, or would be about to tell me is true? You could have made a tactical mistake that you're trying to cover for."

Sinosis snorted and crossed his arms. "I could be. Or I could not be that stupid, and let's be honest. I'm not."

"You let an alicorn princess walk into your camp and captured her without thinking that she had a backup plan." I smirked at him. "Yeah, I don't think you're the tactical genius that you think that you are. I don't think that you're completely dumb, but you're not a paragon of brains."

Sinosis' smirk fell and his eyes narrowed. "Nevertheless, I know what I'm doing, and I constantly make plans. The second that I was approached by my benefactor I made plans in case this very thing happened." He pointed a claw at me and my guard took another menacing step towards him. "I know that I am not lying, Antares. I know that I was hired to foalnap your precious subjects. Lower the sentence some more and I'll tell you why."

"Down five years. More."

"You have somebody, a political rival, we'll say. This somebody wanted to test your mettle, to see what kind of ruler you would be. Somebody who wanted to see if you could be strong armed or bullied; bought or intimidated. Would you be weak? Strong? Useless without your guard around you? This somebody wanted to know. Lower some more and I'll tell you why."

"Give me a name and we'll skip right on down to the lowers possible sentence. Name and proof."

"And what is the lowest possible sentence, hmm?" Sinosis slammed his talon on the ground, sending flecks of dirt flying. "Ten years in a pony prison? Deportation to a Saddle Arabian prison? Oh I know all about how you are on good terms with dear old Sultan Mesud over there. He'd be happy to take any war criminals you got, wouldn't he?"

"Look just give me the name of the guy who hired you and we can talk!" I looked over at Celestia who was still talking to Aepnet. Or at the very least, they were talking. They were all currently looking at me like I was mad. Everybody except...

Oh hail no.

I stared open-mouthed and wide-eyed at Aepnet for a solid thirty second before my brain started to function again. Maybe it was just the fact that I hadn't dealt with him before, maybe I was misreading this, maybe I was just too used to Celestia and Luna who would, possibly, never pull this kind of thing but... wow. Good golly gee willikers wow.

Well, Aepnet looks absolutely terrified, solidifying in my mind that I drew every possibly correct conclusion based on what Sinosis told me. The princesses weren't really sure why I looked so stunned, all except Kathyrine who was starting to piece it together if her growing smile was any indication. After a few more seconds she let out a single laugh and facepalmed.

"Dad, did you seriously hire that Sinosis dude to kidnap those ponies?"

Busted.

Author's Notes:

*Gryph: Griffonian currency

No Way

Every single eye in the field was on our dear old friend Aepnet, and he knew it. Being outed as the "mastermind" behind the sacking of the two border towns in front of three goddesses of pony kind, a fourth princess, four guard captains, and the army of one of said goddesses that just took out a griffin raider army without so much as a scratch? Bus. Ted.

So, what do I think of all of this? That this Aepnet moron was behind all of it just to figure out what kind of ruler I was going to be? Hoo boy, you'd better believe that I was not happy. If my glare had physical power behind it, it would have begun leveling mountains. Aepnet was in for it now, and I don't think that he had any illusions about that.

Our dear chicken-y ruler audibly gulped and alternated his glances between the four of us princesses, and I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that the rest of them were just as mad as I was. "Er... i-it's a lie." Aepnet whispered. "Sinosis is simply lying to you to lessen his own punishment, I swear it."

"Really?!" I stomped towards Aepnet and flared out my wings. "Well, that's easily cleared up, then! I'll just send Lieutenant Rapids to the fort to collect every single scrap of paper that Sinosis wrote on, and if none of them are from you then I'll know he's lying."

"I hid them!" I turned my head to see Sinosis crawling towards me, but Lieutenant Rapids put a wing blade to his neck and he froze. He sat back down on the ground, but looked me directly in the eye. "I hid them in a place where you'll never find them! Set me free and I'll show you where!"

I smirked at him and shook my head. "Don't think so, buddy. You've plea bargained enough. If the documents you've described are there, my army will tear down the fort log by log looking for them. We'll find them."

"You will not do such a thing in Griffonian territory!" Aepnet snarled. I turned back to face him and he now, in a frankly ballsy move, had his wings spread. "You already moved your army into my country once, Antares! You will not do it again!"

"Oh? Won't we?"

Yeesh. The pure venom behind Celestia's voice freaked me out a little bit inside, so Aepnet stood no chance against it. His wings drooped and one of his eyes twitched, but he could not bring himself to turn and face her. I couldn't really blame him, as mad as I was. The looks of pure fury that Celestia and Luna both were giving him would have struck him dead on the spot if they had such powers. Heck, maybe they did and just weren't willing to do such a thing. Either way, Aepnet could have no illusions about how bad this had gotten for him.

"You hired a group of slavers to capture a hundred of my subjects for the sole purpose of figuring out what kind of ruler Princess Antares really is?" Celestia took a few steps towards Aepnet. They couldn't be heard, even though nobody else was making any noise at all. "That. Is. An act of war, Aepnet."

Aepnet let out a small squeak and I saw his pupils shrink down to pinpricks. Even Kathyrine's normally smug smile was completely gone, and she had taken a few steps away from her father. I think she thinks he's about to be incinerated and doesn't want any of her feathers singed off in the blast.

Well Aepnet did finally manage to speak again after a few seconds of flapping his beak up and down like a fish out of water. He managed to fold his wings back at his side and scoot away from Celestia. I think he thought that he'd be safer around an angry me than an angry Celestia.

"I-it's a lie, I assure you," he said quietly. "Celestia, I assure you that I had no more to do with it than you did. Sinosis acted of his own accord independent of my wishes."

"I pray for your sake that he did," Luna growled, coming up on Aepnet's other side. Kathyrine flinched when she saw Luna approach and ran towards me of all ponies, hiding behind me while Celestia and Luna stared down Aepnet. I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't want to be even indirectly in Aepnet's position either, and I think she thought that she might be in some trouble as his daughter. "If that is true, then you have no reason to fear a small team led by Princess Antares and Lieutenant Rapids going into the fortress to search for any such documents. You may even have griffins of your own close by! Refusal gives support to the fact that you had something to do with it!"

"I will not allow it, I say!" Aepnet snarled. "Let us just be done with this! I will take the raiders back to Griffonia to stand trial by our laws and we will both go our separate ways on the matter!"

"A claim such as his cannot go unheeded, Aepnet, no matter how uncomfortable you are with having Equestrian soldiers within your borders." Celestia walked up beside Aepnet, really highlighting their height differences. He was a good five or so inches shorter than she, and it would take all of three seconds for Celestia to leave him as a scorch mark on the ground. "We will be investigating the matter quite thoroughly, and we will find out the truth of it. Should it be discovered that you were behind it, there will be severe consequences."

Aepnet fluttered his wings again and took a step forwards away from Celestia, but still did not make eye contact with her. "You wouldn't want to go to war, Celestia. Your ponies don't know war! It would break a four hundred year old treaty between our nations! W-we have weapons that can hurt alicorns!"

"Oh Dad, just shut up and give them whatever they want," Kathyrine muttered, but it was really far too late for that. Aepnet had already crossed a big line with Celestia and Luna. Even Cadance was starting to back away from the three of them.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" Celestia screeched, the power of the Royal Canterlot Voice nearly blowing off some of Aepnet's feathers. Said turkey king yelped and sat on the ground, covering his head with his arms. "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, AEPNET! I AM CELESTIA, THE WRATH OF THE SUN, AND I WILL NOT BE THREATENED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Aepnet squeaked. He flared out one of his wings as if to use it as a shield against Celestia and covered his head with the other. "Y-you can look in the fort for the documents! I don't want to go to war with you; just leave me be!"

Wow, if he hadn't more than likely brought this on himself I'd almost feel sorry for the guy. I know I'd feel bad if he was innocent, but if there really were documents in the fort incriminating him in the whole thing, then he brought the whole thing down upon his own head and deserves no sympathy. Besides, it's true what Luna said: if no such letters exist then he has nothing to fear from letting us search the fort for an hour or two. Not allowing us to at least take a cursory glance around the fort, and taking the raiders for himself when by all rights they're ours to deal with? Looks mighty suspicious to me, and I knew that Celestia and Luna agreed.

Well, now that Aepnet was willing to do whatever we wanted him to do, he folded his wings and raised his head, still not willing to make eye contact with any of us princesses, but not cowering either. Celestia too had calmed down, and her own wings were folded at her side once more. She had moved in front of Aepnet and was staring down at him, unmoving.

"Here is what will happen. Princess Antares will take a hoof picked token force of her guard to the fortress of Sinosis and she will search it top-to-bottom. Any evidence that you had anything to do with what happened today will not be ignored."

Aepnet gasped for breath and quickly nodded his head. "Y-yes, Princess Celestia. I will not interfere."

"Good." Celestia turned to me and nodded to Lieutenant Rapids. "You may take whomever you desire to search for any documents linking Aepnet to this. Let me know if you find anything."

I inclined my head in a small bow and beckoned Lieutenant Rapids to me. She saluted and beckoned two guards to follow her while I instructed Captain Blaze on how to handle the griffin prisoners. We took two more guards and were about to go off to the fort when I saw somebody coming up to me out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and saw Kathyrine coming up to me with two griffin knights. Lieutenant Rapids glared at her and fluttered her wing blades, but I signaled for her to stand down.

"Something up?" I asked when Kathyrine was close enough.

"Yeah, I'm coming with you." Kathyrine motioned to the forest. "I don't trust whatever's out there, and I want to make sure that this gets handled right. I know my dad won't get it done correctly, so I want to make sure that it does."

I raised my eyebrow and glanced over at Lieutenant Rapids who shrugged. I tilted my head in a return shrug and looked back at Kathyrine. "Okay, so you want the job to get done correctly, huh? What does that mean for you exactly? How do I know you're not going to try to find the evidence first then smudge it or destroy it?"

"How do I know that you're not just going to go plant something?!" Kathyrine retorted. "You could be out to ruin my dad's name in front of both of our nations!"

"If you'll pardon me for saying so, he's already done that by cowering in front of Celestia and not cooperating," I responded flatly. "Still..." I shrugged. "I know that I'm not going out to sabotage him in any way, so you can come along if you'd like." Kathyrine nodded and began walking, but I held out a hoof and stopped her. "But you have to call me the second you see something. We're out here to find something on your dad. If it's there and I find out that you've destroyed it, you're as guilty as he is, understand?"

Kathyrine scowled at me, but nodded. "Yeah. Whatever. Let's just get this over with, okay?"

I nodded, and the group began walking into the forest. Given that there were only nine of us instead of a few hundred, the going was a lot faster, especially since we were in a hurry to get back to the fort. Both of us wanted to be done with this as soon as possible. After a few minutes of silence, I glanced over at Kathyrine and smirked at her. "You know I don't want it to be your dad any more than you do, right?"

Kathyrine turned her head to me, her eyebrow raised. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

I scoffed quietly and nodded. "Yeah. Put yourself in my position: you've only been a literal goddess for a little while, and a situation arises where some of your subjects are kidnapped by slavers, and you have to go get them. Would you like the situation to be that some dumb slaver just got bold and in over his head, or a foreign ruler who is putting you through a test, and how he interacts with you depends on how you do?"

Kathyrine bobbled her head in an affirming nod. "I can see that." She gave a scoff of her own. "I thought I was going to have to find out about that myself for a moment. I thought your dear Princess Celestia was going to obliterate my dad, making me... uh..." Kathyrine stopped in her tracks and put one of her claws on her head. She took several deep breaths and leaned her head against a nearby tree. "Uh... hold on a minute."

I frowned and motioned for my soldiers to stop. They obeyed, allowing me to walk up to Kathyrine. "You okay?"

Kathyrine waved my words away and gave a single nod. "Yeah. Yeah now I am. It's just kinda hitting me how close I came to becoming empress of all Griffonia, that's all." She took another deep breath and put her claw down to look up at me. "You're new, so you might not know, but the second the old emperor dies, the griffin next in line is the new ruler. No formal ceremony, no meetings, the heir is the new griffin automatically. It's a dynasty preservation law that my grandfather or great-grandfather, or somegriffin like that, thought up. So the moment my dad became a scorch mark on the ground, I'm the new empress of Griffonia, and let me tell you something, Antares... heh... I do not want that right now. I did not wake up this morning expecting to be an empress starting up a war by sundown."

I flinched back and flattened my ears as the implications of that for both of our countries hit me. Heck, the whole planet might have been affected by that one. The griffin emperor killed on Equestrian soil after he possibly ordered the kidnapping of a hundred ponies, and his heir, the now empress, is right there? Ouch. I'd have really picked the perfect time to ascend there. I thanked my lucky stars that Celestia was a little more level-headed than that. Still, not to disrespect a favorite Earth comedian of mine, but my guardian angel must be an alcoholic.

Seeing that Kathyrine was still a little shaken up by seeing Celestia like that, I gave her a comforting smile and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Look, if it helps, she was never going to. One, she's not that stupid politically, and two, she values life too much. You're talking with a guy who punched her three times, the third time resulting in a full-on brawl between the two of us, and she never thought about it. I doubt she was going to ever hurt your father. Besides, we don't have proof yet."

"Yeah." Kathyrine took another deep breath and ran a claw through her head feathers. "Yeah, I guess. Let's just get to the fort and get this settled once and for..." Kathyrine's worried expression faded, and was replaced with a vaguely confused one. "Wait, did you say 'guy?' You're a princess, right?"

I paused for a moment while I figured what she was getting at. When it clicked, I grimaced and began walking back towards the fort, my guard falling in behind me. Kathyrine took wing to catch up to me, and when I glanced at her I could see the beginnings of what I could assume was her trademark smirk on her face. "Yeah, you're a girl, right? Unless Equestria is an even more backwards country than I surmised and 'princess' is a gender neutral term."

I growled quietly and shot Kathyrine a glare. "I was male before I ascended. I was blasted by the Elements of Harmony after helping write some new magic in my human form, human being the species that I was before ascending to a pony goddess of untold power."

To see the sparkle in Kathyrine's eyes, one would have thought that I just told her that I was erasing everything that had happened today. Her face split into a wide grin, and she flew into the air to hover on her back so she could look at me while flying. "So... you were a male human, or whatever you were called, and now you got blasted by pretty jewelry and you're a girl pony now?"

"Yes, and I would thank you not to--"

"Oh this is too rich!" she crowed. "I mean, I've had some pretty boy nobles try to hit on me, so I know how much you guys like your shlongs." Kathyrine cackled and rubbed her claws together. "Oh boy, that must hurt."

It occurs to me that I haven't been trying hard enough to get my gender back. I'll have to focus on that when I have some free time, though I really don't have a lot. Having said that, I'm glad that Kathyrine didn't know Rocky Horror Picture Show, otherwise she'd probably start singing that at the top of her lungs. Having said that, when I look at her, I can still see a little bit of tension in her stance, as much as she's trying to hide it. Maybe her laughter is less about me specifically and more about everything that's happened today. I know when I'm stressed I tend to--

"Princess Antares, I see smoke!"

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Lieutenant Rapid's call, and I looked into the sky where I saw her pointing. Sure enough, a plume of black smoke was bellowing from the distance, and it didn't take a genius to figure out where it was coming from specifically. I gasped and spread my wings. "Come on! We've got to move!"

The rest of the group needed no second prompting. They kicked into overdrive to make it to the fortress before everything we could be looking for was destroyed. Heck, worst case scenario the fire spread and got out of control, burning the whole darned forest down. That wouldn't be very good.

With our increased speed we reached our destination after another five minutes. To my horror, my fears about the source of the smoke was confirmed.

The fort was on fire.

Game of Thrones

I admit it, I did not spring into action right away. I saw that the fort was on fire and I did not call my snarcasti-guards into action to put it out.

Sigh.

I froze.

No pun intended.

I stared in utter shock, my mouth hanging open at the blaze of wood before me. All of the evidence against Aepnet is burning in that blaze, and I'm just standing here, watching it go.

But only for a moment.

I closed my mouth and spread my wings, pointing to the fort. "Rapids, take Winters and Cyclone to the sky. Gather as many rainclouds as you can to put out the blaze!" Rapids saluted and the three pegasi took flight. "The rest of you: I want unicorn squadron A to control the blaze while unicorn squadron B keeps the building from collapsing!" I ignited my horn and opened the door to the fort, where the blaze had not yet reached. "Let's move!"

I'd like to say that it's a testament to how well I train them, but if we're being honest, almost all of what they know comes from the military ponies that the other three princesses lent me, so I can't really take credit for how fast the guard snapped into gear. By the time Lieutenant Rapids and the two privates came down with a gigantic storm cloud, the fire was already mostly contained, and I could tell that the fort would not suffer much structural damage at all. In fact, buy some new boards for a few areas and it would be ready for action once more. It seems that we arrived just in time to prevent any real damage, then. Whomever had set the fire must be close by if it was so small by the time we arrived that we had no trouble subduing it.

I shot a beam of magic out of my horn that called the attention of everypony to me. I raised one hoof to hold it. "Okay, I want the forest searched for whoever did this. The fire was relatively small, so it was set recently. Lieutenant Rapids, go back to the main group and get everypony that can be spared to help us. Aepnet won't give you trouble now."

Rapids smirked and saluted. "You never know, Princess Antares. Given his track record, he could have forgotten that he's in big trouble right now."

Unfortunately that pissed off Kathyrine who let out a snarl and took wing, spreading her full wingspan in front of Lieutenant Rapids. "That's my dad you're talking about, featherbrain!" She pointed a claw towards Rapids in a threatening manner. "Back off!"

Rather than do so, Lieutenant Rapids snorted and crossed her forelegs. "Yes, because that's going to cancel out the fact that we're all here. In case you didn't notice, princess..." Rapids cast a sideways glance my way. "Er... not you, Princess Antares. This one." She looked back at Kathyrine. "Your dear ol' dad is the reason we're all here. If he wasn't such a 'brilliant political mastermind' I wouldn't have to say those things about him."

"Oh yeah?! Where are these papers?" Kathyrine snarled. "We haven't found any yet! If there are no papers then Dad is innocent!"

"Yes, yes, and we'll all feel really awkward when that happens," Rapids said with a wave of her hoof. "For now we--"

"Enough! Both of you!" I snapped, flaring out my wings. "Lieutenant Rapids, I gave you an order that did not involve being snarcastic to Princess Kathyrine! Would you please go back to the main force and gather reinforcements, please and thank you?!"

Lieutenant Rapids continued locking eyes with Kathyrine, seemingly unfazed by the latter's glare. After a few seconds she saluted me and flew off. I rolled my eyes and shook my head before looking over to Kathyrine. "Sorry about her. She... well, that's just kind of something that my guard does. It's called the snarcasti-guard, after all."

Kathyrine gave an irritated scoff and waved a talon. "Fine. Whatever. Let's just find what we came here for so that we can exonerate my dad, okay?"

I gave her a single nod and motioned to my guard. "Okay, I want you all to spread out in groups of no less than four and search the entire compound for any trace of these letters that this Sinosis freak told us are here. Any trouble arises signal us at once."

I glanced over at Kathyrine who was glaring at the retreating form of my lieutenant, but she needed to get over it right now if we were going to get this done. I beckoned her and began walking towards Sinosis' quarters where the documents would most likely be. I also had a unicorn guard named Tracer Arrow follow us, on top of Kathyrine's griffins.

We walked into the quarters and Tracer Arrow took point. She levitated a piece of parchment over to her and scanned it with her bright orange aura. "Okay, now I figure that Princess Antares knows this, but to save some time, I'm going to be using my special tracing talents to see if there are any hidden compartments in this room." She put the parchment down but did not extinguish her horn. "Basically I scan an object and my magic directs me towards any similar objects nearby. If I can sense that there is parchment in the walls or under the ground we'll likely have our letters."

"If they're even here," Kathyrine grumbled.

Tracer Arrow shrugged. "If they're not I'll find that out too."

"What if there's some protective spell over any hidden compartments?!" Kathyrine snapped. "You could be completely wasting our times!"

Tracer Arrow snorted and a hint of a smug smile appeared on her lips. "Yeah, because I'd be a really good object tracker if all it took to block me was a simple protective spell." Tracer Arrow chuckled lightly and pointed her horn at the desk to scan it. "I'm pretty high level. It'd take a spell akin to one of the princesses or even Princess Celestia's student to cast one strong enough to block..." Tracer Arrow's smug smile faded, and it was replaced by a subtle frown. She sat down in front of the desk and knocked on the side. "Huh. Interesting."

I frowned and walked up to her. "What? Is there a problem?"

"Maybe." Tracer Arrow narrowed her eyes and licked her lips with the tip of her tongue. "It's just that I think I found what we're looking for, but I can't be sure. Inside this desk is a large stack of parchment that seems to be of some import, else it wouldn't be hidden, but therein lies the rub. It's not hidden very well, and it's the closest thing to hidden that any parchment is in this room. I specifically set my magic to trace parchment with writing on it, so it's not just a stack of spare writing paper." Tracer Arrow tapped her lower jaw thoughtfully. "Hmm. My only hesitation in breaking open this desk is that it seems... well, too easy. These documents could very well be the most important ones in Griffonia right now, and I'd wager that our dear friend Sinosis is aware of that fact. Somegriffin of his means could have hidden them a touch better, don't you think? Even a hole in the ground is better than this."

Now that she put it like that, this was a troublesome idea. I'd hate to find the documents only to have them destroyed and my guards possibly injured by some trap behind them. Having said that, Sinosis did see these as his insurance. If these were ruined by some trap he laid then all of his words about Aepnet are hearsay.

Sigh. As rude as Lieutenant Rapids had been in her conversation with Kathyrine about her father, I was in full agreement of her perspective on the matter. I'd rather be in court giving foals money for school plays or raising teacher pay. This, to me, is just stupid. Still, we have to get this done sooner rather than later. I ignited my horn and scanned for any magic. "I can't feel anything. It just seems like all it's protected by is some wood."

Tracer Arrow nodded and tapped the side of the desk again. "Yeah. It's too easy. It's almost like--"

"Oh for goodness sakes, you're taking all day with it!" Before I could do anything, Kathyrine shoved Tracer Arrow aside, balled her talons into a fist, and slammed it into the desk hard enough to leave a gaping hole where the letters were. Tracer Arrow squeaked and flinched back, covering her head with her forelegs as if expecting some kind of explosion, but... nothing happened.

No explosion, no cloud of poisonous gas, just... nothing.

Kathyrine snorted and began pulling the papers out of the desk. "You ponies are a bunch of weirdoes. Seriously, if there's no magic that you can detect then just go right in."

Kathyrine's barbs stung me a little, but I decided that it wasn't worth it to get into some big argument about it. I shook my head and ignited my horn, levitating the papers away from Kathyrine and towards me. Kathyrine was adverse to the idea and let out a loud roar and swiped at the papers, but I held them away from her.

"Give those to me, Antares!" Kathyrine stood up and spread her wings. "Those are not yours! How do I know this isn't some sort of frame job of my dad?!"

"Seriously?! What reason would I have to frame your dad in this elaborate of a fashion?" I moved the papers away as Kathyrine swiped at them again. "And if I may say so, you're not helping his case by trying to get them. How do I know you won't try to alter or destroy them? Maybe if your father was dumb enough to put his seal on one then you scratch it off or something?"

Kathyrine pawed at the ground, a snarl etched on her face. "You give those to me, Antares. I can take them if I have to."

"Hey!" Tracer Arrow ignited her horn and rushed in front of me. "You do not threaten Princess Antares. Ever."

"Get out of my way!" Kathyrine screeched.

This was not good. It was turning volatile faster than I would have liked. Kathyrine threatened me, which got Tracer Arrow on the defensive, which caused Kathyrine's guards to see that as a threat to her, and now they were closing in around us, their wings extended leaving no doubt that their wing blades were of good quality. I could last in a fight for a decent while with these guys, but for all of her skill, Tracer Arrow wouldn't be able to, and I couldn't take on all five griffins long enough for Tracer Arrow to escape. Not that she'd want to. She'd be right in the middle of the fight.

Well, it seemed to be fight or flight, and Kathyrine wasn't listening to reason right now. I put more power in my horn and engulfed both Tracer Arrow and myself in my aura. With a loud 'pop' we teleported out of Sinosis' quarters and into the main courtyard where more of my guard was gathered. Even Kathyrine wouldn't favor those kinds of odds. I had teleported far enough away that I would have a few seconds to scan the papers to see if they were legit before Kathyrine came barging out of the building to demand that I hoof them over. I quickly looked down at the topmost paper while Tracer Arrow recovered from the surprise teleportation.

"ANTARES!!!"

My gaze flickered up in time to see Kathyrine barreling towards me as fast as she could, her guard flying straight behind her. My guard reacted quickly and formed a defensive perimeter around me. Unicorn horns were alight, pegasus wings were flared, their wing blades gleaming in the sunlight. If it came down to it I'd have to fight on the side of my guards. It would be a massacre.

Fortunately I had better ways to deal with charging griffins. I put the papers down on the ground, securing them with a hoof so that they didn't go anywhere, and ignited my horn. The charging griffins found themselves engulfed in my blue aura and they stopped like they had hit a brick wall. They had limited movement, but they weren't going anywhere.

Well, Kathyrine, for her part, was taking full advantage of the fact that she had limited movement, and was thrashing about like she was an animal trapped in a cage.

"Let me go, Antares! Let me go or I'll bring an army to march upon Baltimare like you've never seen! Framing my dad is an act of war and you know it!"

This wasn't going to be very fun.

Slowly I walked over to Kathyrine, a grim expression on my face. When I was close enough, I flipped the papers over and showed them to her. "That's your dad's seal on the bottom, right?"

"NO!" Kathyrine snarled. "No it's not!"

Even through the denial, the second her eyes landed on the seal I saw recognition in her eyes followed by a brief look of utter horror. She was fooling herself, and even she knew it.

"Kathyrine..." I flipped to another paper. "This is also his seal, is it not? This is his signature at the bottom?"

"Stop it!" Kathyrine screeched as she put her talons over her ear holes. "I'm not listening to these stupid feathering pony lies anymore!"

My aura faded away and the griffins gently fell to the ground. Kathyrine hardly noticed. She was too busy denying what was right in front of her. I for one wasn't going to make her listen anymore. She got the point. She knew as well as I did that Aepnet was behind all of this. I gave her a sympathetic look and put a hoof on her shoulder.

"Kathyrine, I'm sorry. I don't like this anymore than you do. Please believe me when I say that."

"Stop it!" Kathyrine batted away my hoof and for the first time I saw tears welling up in her eyes. "Stop feeding me these lies."

"Kathyrine--"

"SHUT UP!" Kathyrine flinched away from me and extended her foreleg as if to block my advance, a single sob escaping her throat. "Stop it! I don't want to be empress, Dad!" Kathyrine's eyes snapped open when she realized what she had said, and she looked up at me, her wide eyes brimming with tears. "I... I don't..."

I shifted uncomfortably and flattened my ears. "Uh... look, I won't... tell anybody, I guess. If it helps."

Kathyrine sighed and visibly deflated, her shoulder slumping and her head lowering. "Doesn't matter, does it? That proves Dad is behind it all. You're probably going to demand that he steps down or you're going to throw him in prison, meaning I have to lose my dad and become the feathering empress." Kathyrine let out another sob and rubbed her eyes to wipe away the tears. "I know the dukes. They're gonna want war because of this. They're gonna try to get the throne away from me. Maybe kill me for it. Dad may be dumb, but he has enough smarts that he can keep them at bay." I may have imagined it, but I thought that I saw a shudder go through Kathyrine. "I, however, don't really."

"Kathyrine, I can help you out. I know Celestia and Luna aren't going to want to see you murdered." I sat down in front of her, unsure of whether or not I should give her a wing hug or not. I opted for not, given what I knew of her temperament. Even so, Kathyrine didn't seem to be comforted.

"You think Griffonian affairs are any of your business? You think that just because Equestria is ruled by literal goddesses that you can just step in and play police whenever you want?" Kathyrine slowly shook her head. "No. I'm feathering on my own on this one. I know you can't just ignore what Dad did..." Kathyrine let out a low moan and put her head in her talons. "For feather's sake, why would you do this to me, Dad?!"

I didn't have an answer.

Rites of Succession

Well, I instructed my guard to not reveal anything about the conversation that Kathyrine and I had under penalty of being fired, but I didn't feel that I had to worry about that. My guard was loyal to me. Kathyrine gave her guards the same order, but under the penalty of de-clawing.

Yeah, she was kind of upset at the moment. I can't really blame her. If I found out that my dad pulled something like this I don't know what I'd do, but I definitely would not be happy, that's for sure.

Well with the documents found, I ordered my guard to go out in teams of six to search the woods for the presumably griffin or griffins that had set the fire in the fort. I instructed them to shoot up sparks the moment that they found somebody, as it would draw the rest of us to the spot where we could capture the offending party. I left Tracer Arrow and two other guards in the fort to search for any more documents, or anything else that could help us out with this. Lieutenant Rapids would be back with reinforcements, and likely another alpha alicorn, in a few hours. Until then it was just Kathyrine and I relatively alone. Each of us had a guard or two watching us from a small distance, but aside from that it was just the two of us sitting next to each other. Kathyrine was staring contemplatively at the ground and I was idly dragging a small stick through the dirt. I felt no need to force her to say anything. She would talk when she was ready, whenever that was.

I can't say that I blame her for being upset, though. I mean, I'm not quite sure what we're going to do to Aepnet because of all of this, but I can't imagine we're going to slap him on the wrist or the wing or whatever and let him be on his way. Chances are there are going to be some serious repercussions for this kind of thing. If Aepnet has to leave the throne at all, yeah, Princess Kathyrine becomes Empress Kathyrine who isn't sure that she can control dukes who she thinks will want war because of all of this.

Long story short, if I turned back into a human and asked Kathyrine if she wanted to come back to Ponyville with me, she'd probably jump at the chance.

It turns out that we don't have to say anything. We don't have to wait more than half an hour before I hear a small explosion behind me. I turn my head and instantly shoot to my hooves when I see what it is: sparks. Somebody found something. Kathyrine stood up too, but she was slower about it. There was a look of resignation on her face. She looked like she was about to go to the gallows and knew that she couldn't do a darned thing about it.

I have to say that I really felt sorry for her. I could imagine what it was like being forced into a leadership position, but not like that. Mine was an accident, I think. Hers... well, even with the gender loss I still think that she had it worse. Her dad betrayed her and might have just started a war. That's a bit worse.

Both Kathyrine and I took off, her griffin guards following behind us. There was still a token force guarding the fort, and I hoped that we wouldn't be gone too long. Whomever had shot the sparks had done so from a relatively close distance, so we reached it fairly quickly. I landed next to one of my sergeants when we reached the force.

"Sergeant Stones. What's the situation?"

Sergeant Stones grimaced and motioned around us. "About thirty of us have checked in so far, Princess. They know we're here, but they're not running. They couldn't if they wanted to."

"Okay. Who is the 'they' in this situation?"

Sergeant Stones scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Baby bunnies, Princess Antares. A whole herd of them carrying matches and gasoline over their heads chanting 'burn the fort down, burn the fort down.'"

I snort and give a small smirk, noting that Kathyrine is not so amused. "Okay, so griffins, then. How many?"

"Four in the clearing in front of us." Sergeant Stones pats his crossbow which has a sharp arrow loaded into it. "We've got the whole area surrounded, and they know that. They so much as open their wings and look to the sky and we'll put an arrow through one of their wings."

"Sounds like we've got this whole scenario in the bag, then." I take a deep breath and look towards the clearing. "Okay, I'm going to negotiate terms of surrender. Are they armed?" Sergeant Stones shook his head. "Good. I'm going in, then. They still have claws, I suppose, so cover me in case they try anything funny."

"I'm coming too!" Kathyrine growled. "I want to see them for myself."

"If you must." I beckoned Kathyrine to follow me, and she walked behind me with her guards flanking her. We entered the clearing and immediately saw four griffins with their claws over their heads, looking around fearfully. Turns out Sergeant Stones wasn't being sarcastic about the gasoline, though. We had our arsonists. When they saw us enter, one of them squeaked and curled into a ball, but the rest stayed sitting where they were.

I opened my mouth to begin discussing their surrender, but I was cut off by a loud shriek of pure emotional agony from behind me. I wheeled around and saw Kathyrine on the ground, staring at the griffin in the middle of the pack, pointing one of her talons at him.

"YOU ROTTEN SON OF A FEATHERLESS STRUMPET!" she wailed. "HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

I turned my head to look back at the griffin in question. I didn't see anything special about him at first glance. He wasn't dressed like a noble or anything like that, so he didn't look important. He didn't seem to care that I was there, though. All he could do was stare sadly down at a screaming, sobbing Kathyrine. He quietly sighed and took a small step forwards.

"Kathyrine, I'm sorry this has hurt you. I was merely following your father's orders."

Kathyrine let out another loud wail and put her talons over her ear holes. I could only look between Kathyrine and the griffin. Not being intricately familiar with the Griffonian political system, I wasn't quite sure who this guy was. I fluttered my wings with a hint of nervousness and turned my full attention to the griffin.

"Okay, who are you, again? I take it you know each other."

The griffin tilted his head in a single nod. "Yes. Yes we do. My name is William. I am the head servant of Emperor Aepnet. It was under his orders that I burn the fort. I must say, I did not expect to be captured so quickly. I thought we would have a little more time to get away."

Ah. Yes, I can see why Kathyrine would be even more upset now. She couldn't deny that her father was behind all of this even if she wanted to now. Sinosis saying that it was Aepnet was one thing, but documents with his seal and his staff confirming it? Yeah, things were going to get very ugly in the next, oh, I'd say four or five hours.

It sucks being princess sometimes.

The griffins gave up without a fight and allowed us to tie their wings and bring them back to the fort. Once Tracer Arrow confirmed that there was nothing left in the fort for us to use, I ordered us to pull out and go back to the main force. Boy would the other princesses not be happy about this one.

We were about fifteen minutes out of the fort when I saw Lieutenant Rapids flying back with a group of fifty pegasi. I waved them down and Rapids landed next to me.

"Did you have a nice time, Princess?"

I grimaced and shook my head. I glanced back at Kathyrine whose wings and head were so low to the ground they were nearly dragging. Lieutenant Rapids must have followed my gaze, because when I looked back the trace of amusement she had before was gone. "That bad, huh?"

"'Fraid so." I jerked my head back towards our latest group of prisoners. "We found the arsonists. Turns out that they work directly for our good old friend Emperor Aepnet. The one in front is his head servant."

Rapids flinched and flattened her ears. "Oof. That's not very good, is it?"

"No, it's not," I muttered. "Kathyrine is absolutely devastated because she thinks that we're going to arrest Aepnet which would make her empress. On top of that, she thinks that the dukes might want war now."

"Well..." Rapids subtly glanced back to Kathyrine. "Aren't we going to arrest Aepnet now? I mean, if he is behind this we can't just ignore that."

"I don't know." I quietly sighed and grimaced. "I have to ask Celestia and Luna about this. We have to talk, but I can't imagine we're just going to let this one go like nothing happened."

"We'd have a public outrage on our hooves."

"Precisely."

Man, this is why I wanted to be a teacher, not a politician. Far less drama behind it. Note how I didn't say that there was no drama like this. Take an education class and you'll find that it can get pretty political sometimes, so I did have some background in dealing with the system. Not like this, though. I didn't expect to have the fates of two entire nations hinge on my decisions when I took any kind of power. Ideally the most difficult decisions I wanted to make was who would get to be the line leader when my class went to lunch. Not this kind of thing.

The journey passed in relative silence for the rest of the time due to our smaller group. We didn't have hundreds to transport, so that made everything easier. I kept Tracer Arrow in my sight the entire time, as she was the one with the documents in her saddlebag. The trip was uneventful, but each of us was wary. My pegasi guards were constantly scanning the forest, their crossbows loaded and ready, waiting for anything to pop out of the foliage to ambush our little group. One would think that the griffins had enough sense to not attack a convoy headed by a goddess, but Sinosis had proven that he wasn't the smartest of beings when he decided to capture me without a second thought.

I was quite relieved when we reached the main group again. It was getting close to evening, and I can imagine that everybody just wanted to go home at this point, the griffins included, but that wasn't going to happen right now. I did see that the villagers who had been captured where nowhere to be found, as well as Cadance, so I imagined that she had taken them back to Baltimare for the time being. There was no need to keep them here. I saw my guard still standing watch over the griffin prisoners, while the princesses guarded Aepnet. He wasn't quite under arrest yet, but he would be shortly, I imagined.

William and the other three prisoners were put with the rest of them away from Sinosis while I walked over to the princesses. Tracer Arrow, Kathyrine, and Lieutenant Rapids followed closely behind me. I had to admit that I did not look forward to this. You know that feeling that you get in your stomach when you go get a shot from the dentist because they're complete sadists about it and you know it's going to hurt like heck no matter how much you mentally prepare for it? Yeah, I had that feeling. It's pretty hard to ignore the evidence that we had just gotten. Aepnet would have a much harder time refuting this.

We reached the small group and felt the eyes of everyone fixed on us. This would be a conversation that could change the political outlook of both of our nations for quite a while. I didn't like it. Not one bit, but it had to be done. It would be worse to just burn the papers and let Aepnet get off for this.

"Well, what did you find?" Celestia asked when we got close. "Did you discover the documents that Sinosis was talking about?"

"More than that." I motioned back to the new prisoners. "I take it that you were told that when we arrived we discovered that the fort was on fire. We caught the guys who did it." I turned my attention to Aepnet and my gaze hardened into a glare. "The one who was behind the arson was your head servant William."

Aepnet quietly squeaked and brought a claw up to his mouth. "I... I don't know what to say, Princess Antares! I do not know why my most trusted servant would set fire to the fort?"

"Really?" I ignited my horn and levitated the saddlebag off of Tracer Arrow's back. As I did, I noticed that Kathyrine's legs were shaking like an earthquake was going through the field. Man, her situation just made this whole thing worse to me, but it had to be done. "Then how about these documents asking Sinosis to kidnap the ponies?" I took the documents out and showed him the topmost letter. "That is your seal at the top, correct? And your signature at the bottom?"

Aepnet's eyes went so wide that they seemed to take up his entire head. His mouth flopped up and down like a fish out of water. The instant lack of denial left no doubt in my mind that yes, they were his seal and signature. I turned the parchment so that Celestia and Luna could see, and they nodded.

"They are." Celestia turned her head to Aepnet, who was staring blankly at the paper. He looked to me like he hadn't registered it yet. "Aepnet, do you have any evidence in your defense? Any reason for us to believe that these documents are forgeries? Sinosis has named you the mastermind, we have documents from you to him ordering the raids, and your head servant was captured trying to burn down the fort holding the evidence."

"And he also said that you did it," I chimed in. "He said that you were the one who ordered him to burn the fort."

That snapped him out of his stupor. Before any of us could react, he spread his wings and took to the sky as fast as he could. Not a good idea. We were stunned only for a brief moment before Celestia ignited her horn and fired a beam of magic at him that completely encased him in the same spell I had used on Kathyrine and her guards earlier. Aepnet's guards did not move to his aide. There was no point once Luna turned on them, her wings flared and her expression just daring them to try something.

As for me? I just wanted to go home. All of this sucked. I didn't want to be this rough with Aepnet, but he forced our hooves here. The overwhelming evidence and then he tries to run? Sorry, buddy, but we can't ignore that.

I was not looking forward to dealing with this in the coming weeks, let me tell you that.

With Aepnet subdued, Celestia lowered him to the ground while some of my guards moved in to secure him. He was thrashing about the entire time, but it was no use. Celestia slowly walked up to him, her expression grim.

"Aepnet, son of Attchune, I hereby arrest you in the name of three crowns of Equestria for the act of invading our lands for the purpose of enslaving our ponies. You will be given a fair trial, but should you be found guilty you will be punished to the full extent of our laws."

"Let me go, Celestia!" Aepnet screeched as my guards tied his wings. "This is an act of war! I'll see Canterlot burned to the ground for this!"

I looked back over to Kathyrine who was sitting on the ground, tears streaming down her face. Yeah, I didn't like this any more than she did, but it had to be done. What her father did could not be ignored, and even she knew that. Otherwise I think she'd be fighting it harder.

With Aepnet down for the count, one of his guards looked over to his fellows and nodded. They nodded back, and he turned to address the captured griffins. "Emperor Aepnet has been arrested by the Equestrian scum and can no longer fulfill his duties as emperor. As our laws dictate..." He pointed his spear straight at the being who wanted the least to do with this. "Kathyrine is now empress! Long live Empress Kathyrine the Fifth!"

A piercing scream split the air, and Kathyrine held her head in her claws and collapsed on the ground, sobbing loudly. The guard who had spoken ran over to Aepnet and before my guards could do anything, he took off Aepnet's cape. His crown had long since fallen off, so he collected that from a few feet away before flying back over to Kathyrine. Two of the guards had lifted her to her haunches, allowing the first guard to secure the cape around Kathyrine's neck and place the crown on her head. He backed away and bowed low. "Hail Empress Kathyrine."

Kathyrine wrapped her forelegs around herself and began hyperventilating, thick tears streaking down her face. "N-nuh, nuh duh wanna be e-empress," she whimpered. "Duh wanna be e-empress. Nuh, nuh not nuh now. Not l-like this!"

"Empress Kathyrine, if you refuse your responsibilities then you will bring eternal shame upon your family and your crown will be given to one of the dukes," the head guard said. He gently grabbed her by the foreleg and lifted her to a standing position. "We have to get you home. We shall deal with the Equestrians very soon."

I looked over to Celestia and Luna who watching grimly as Kathyrine was led to the chariot that her and her father had come in. If what Kathyrine had told me about griffin law was true, and I had every reason to believe that as the crowned princess of Griffonia, Kathyrine would know, then this coronation was completely legitimate. I walked over to them and leaned in close to Celestia.

"Now what? What are we going to do about this?"

"What do you propose we do, Antares?" Celestia mumbled back. "Kathyrine is the next in line, and we have no cause to arrest her. Whether you or I or she likes it or not, Kathyrine is empress of Griffonia."

"Yeah." I glanced down at Aepnet who, like us, was staring at his daughter being taken away. "What about him?"

"He will be tried, as will all of them. Kidnapping a hundred of our ponies and sacking two border towns is an act of war whether they admit to it or not."

"They will want war for this, Sister," Luna muttered. "You know this as well as us."

"Would you prefer that Aepnet be released?" Celestia shook her head as we watched the chariot with the new empress take off. "No, we must use all of our resources in the coming months to make sure that this goes down as smoothly as possible, but given the actions, I feel that we did what was necessary."

As somebody who has only been a goddess for a few months, I can only hope that she's right.

Author's Notes:

Next chapter is where it gets really interesting. I'm hoping that the wait time is shorter. It's my top priority right now.

Einer Spinnt Immer

With nothing more to do, we rounded up the prisoners and made a five hour trip back to Baltimare to put them inside one of the Baltimare prisons. Since our society was relatively peaceful there was room, but just barely since the closest prison was fairly small. I had to call upon the reserves of my guard and some of the other two branches to become impromptu prison guards for the time being, and that made things all kinds of complicated.

We all know how much I love complicated.

Aepnet and Sinosis were given private cells away from the main group of prisoners. We didn't want them rallying them to any sort of prison breakout. That would be all we needed, wouldn't it?

Once the prisoners were secure, it was back to the war room in Canterlot. I left Lieutenant Rapids to hold court in my stead until everything got settled, which hopefully wouldn't be too long. I wasn't too sure, though. A somber mood had fallen over the nation in the three days since the arrest of the emperor of all of Griffonia. War was in the air.

And so there we were. All four princesses and captains in a now slightly cramped war room. We did not think about the conditions, however. We were all trying to wrap our heads around what the coming months, maybe years, would look like.

"The dukes want to meet with us," Celestia said, kicking off the meeting officially. "They're calling themselves emissaries from Empress Kathyrine the Fifth, but I have no such illusions. They'd come even if Empress Kathyrine told them no. They're maneuvering to make Kathyrine either a puppet ruler for one of them, or they'll try to oust her entirely."

"Which would mean death for her, right?" I guessed.

"Generally that's how their society switches power at that level."

"So why doesn't she just abdicate?" I grimaced and looked over at the large map of the world on the wall, focusing specifically on Griffonia. "Seriously, she could just come here and hide, right? Especially if she's under constant threat of assassination."

"If Aepnet is found innocent then she can return the throne to him, something that I think she is hoping for."

"But something quite unlikely with the evidence that we have obtained," Luna muttered. "We must discuss what shall be done with Aepnet if and when he is discovered to be guilty for the crimes against our nation."

"Sinosis too," Cadance pointed out. "He is just as guilty as Aepnet is."

"I know we don't have the death penalty, but does that mean we just keep the Griffonian emperor in our prison forever?" I fluttered my wings nervously when I think of what that would mean for Kathyrine, provided she survives long enough to make our judgment. "What about releasing him? If we release him in ten years or twenty, or whatever, then he's going to want a war."

"But how avoidable is war to begin with?" Luna questioned. "Should we begin preparing armies now?"

"I do not know," Celestia said quietly. "I think that we need to meet with the dukes first. I have no illusions as to who has the power in Griffonia now that Aepnet is no longer in charge, and it is not Empress Kathyrine. I'd say she has no more sway than a servant in the castle."

"I think you're right," I said with a nod. "You saw how that guard was leading her around. She couldn't have told him no if she wanted to."

"Indeed." Celestia sighed and began rubbing her temples in a way that reminded me of somebody that I know really, really well. "So what do you propose? I'm open to any ideas."

"We propose that the dukes be met with before any war plans are drawn up," said Luna, "but we should keep the idea in mind; prepare for it in the event that the dukes declare war so that we are not caught completely off guard."

Celestia nodded. "Very well. That seems like a sound strategy."

"Should we ask Saddle Arabia for help?" Cadance asked. "Sultan Mesud promised to come to our aide if we ever got involved in a war, right?"

"Indeed," Celestia confirmed. "Should we get involved with Griffonia, Mesud would ready his armies for war on our side."

Er...

Hmm...

I didn't like that.

Sure it was good to have allies in war, but in a planet as small as this one with as few countries as this...

"So, quick question," I said, raising my hoof. "We have an alliance with Saddle Arabia wherein they would come to our aid in the event that we go to war, and I assume that the Crystal Empire would fight on our side too, right?"

Cadance nodded. "We don't have a strong military as of yet, but we'd start building one if we had to."

"Right. So, here's a big question." I walked over to the map and tapped on the large blue spot labeled "Minotaur Lands." "Does Griffonia have any such treaties with the minotaurs?"

A slight frown crossed Celestia's face, but she tilted her head in a slight nod. "Yes. They have a few treaties with a few of the larger clans."

"Yeah. Yeah..." I facehooved. "Yeah, see... if we go to war and all of these treaties are called upon, then that's the Equestrians, the Crystalites, the minotaurs, the Griffonans, and the Saddle Arabians all fighting in this thing. That's called a world war." I put my hoof down and flattened my ears, my stomach twisting itself into a million knots. "On my world we had two world wars that between military and civilian deaths led to about a hundred and ten million deaths. Yes, I said million." Everyone in the room gasped, their eyes wide. I hadn't really told anybody the scale of what my species could do to each other, so this was a bit of a shock to them. But I wasn't done.

"The world wars have resulted in tons more smaller, but still quite deadly wars in other areas. So overall I'd say that the world wars have been a result of somewhere close to two hundred million deaths! It's been over a century in my world since the wars, and we still haven't stopped feeling the effects, so..." I tapped the map with my hoof. "Do we really want to go to war?"

"Of course not, TD!" Luna said, slamming her hoof on the table. "But the stakes are now made plain to thee! Should we not prevent war then we may be pulled into the longest, most destructive war in our planet's history."

"And I assure you that if every almost civilization is involved then it will be." I took a deep breath and walked back over to my spot at the table. "So how are we going to stop this? If Aepnet gets out of prison at any point then he's going to want war. The dukes currently may want war. Do we just give them whatever the heck they want to prevent that?"

"We do not like the idea," Luna muttered, "but diplomacy must be a key factor going forwards. TD is quite right. War would benefit no one."

Our meeting was interrupted by a knock on the door of the war room. Shining Armor stood up and opened the door, revealing one of Celestia's guards who saluted all of us. "Princesses. Captains. We have a most urgent issue. All three Griffonian dukes have arrived at the castle and they are demanding to speak with Princess Antares."

"Alone?" Celestia asked.

The guard nodded. "Yes. They told me that they are open to speaking with you after they speak with Princess Antares first. They will leave if you do not find these terms acceptable."

I groaned and glanced over at the calendar hanging on the wall.

Yep. Monday.

"Do not underestimate them, TD. They will try to manipulate you into doing their bidding, but you must not forget that your ultimate goal is to prevent war and get us into the room as soon as possible. They will try to cheat you and lie to you, so do not trust them for a moment."

Celestia escorted me down the hallway towards her throne room where the dukes were meeting me. So yeah, all I had to do was be politically savvy enough to prevent a world war. Should be easy enough for a dishwasher and elementary teacher with almost no history in politics or grasp of their culture. If they were an Earth culture, particularly a European power, I might have had a better grasp of it because I grew up learning about those things. Here, though? They could have had all kinds of customs and mannerisms that I had no idea about, and with the rate that Celestia was rushing me down the hallway, I didn't have time to learn.

"Your goals are the protection of Kathyrine and the avoidance of war. They will do everything in their power to make sure you are over your head."

"I'm already over my head," I groaned. "I have no experience in this kind of thing!"

"I know, TD. I know that you are unsure of what to do, but you cannot let them know that. Walk into that room with your head held high and confidence in your steps. They will sense any weakness in you if you show it to them."

We reached the throne room and Celestia and I stopped right in front of it. She gave me a comforting smile and put a hoof on my shoulder. "You will have four of your guards in there with you, including Captain Blaze. They will not try to harm you. Try to be in control as much as possible. Go into the room, walk past them without acknowledging them in any way, then sit on my throne. It will show them who is in control."

Wow. Even now I still can't believe that she let me do that. It makes sense considering that we needed to show them that as long as they were in Equestria I was the one in charge, but it was still quite a drastic measure. We needed drastic measures right now, though.

"It is time, Antares." Celestia pulled me in close and gave me a warm hug. "Good luck. You'll do fine. We will join you in there soon."

And then she was gone. She walked away to go to a side chamber where the other princesses were, leaving me with just two of my guards on either side of me. I took a deep breath and stood in front of the double doors that led to the throne room. Somehow they had become more massive and imposing, like a dragon was waiting on the other side and I had to go kill it with my teeth.

Still, there was no sense taking all day with it. I took a deep breath to center myself, ignited my horn, and opened the doors. They were there as promised. Three griffons dressed in regal outfits flanked by two guards in thick dark gray armor and wielding sharp spears and wing blades. They all turned in my direction when I entered the throne room, but none of them bowed. I closed the door behind me and tilted my head up ever so slightly and walked towards Celestia's throne. As I passed the dukes they began speaking to me, but as per Celestia's instructions I ignored them. I walked up to her throne, which was flanked by Captain Blaze and Sergeant Stones, and sat down on it, much to the surprise of the dukes. They put their heads together and muttered something that I couldn't quite hear, but based on the expression of the duke that I could see, they weren't quite sure of how to deal with this perceived power play.

Finally turned their attention back to me and all three bowed low to the ground. "Princess Antares," said the one in the middle. "My name is Duke Zangara. To my right is Duke Byck and to my left is Duke Fromme."

I inclined my head in a slight bow. "A pleasure to meet you, gentlemen."

"Indeed," said Fromme. "We find ourselves honored to finally meet the Scorpion Princess. Your exploits in capturing those beastly raiders are known to us."

Scorpion Princess? Well that one was new. And admittedly kind of cool. I assumed that it referred to my cutie mark and not the fact that my tail had a hidden, venomous stinger. Though if I was going to be called the Scorpion Princess, I might have had to consider looking into it.

"I'm glad that we can respect each other. It will make our negotiations simpler, and we all want that, yes?"

Duke Fromme nodded. "Indeed, Antares. We do have much to discuss, don't we."

Antares. Not Princess Antares. I noticed the distinction, as did everybody else in the room. My guards tensed up, but they didn't do anything about it. It was an intentional insult, but I was not going to rise to the bait.

But that left me wondering what I was supposed to do, then? Was I supposed to insult him right back and let him know that I could play that game too, or was I supposed to let it go? I couldn't think about it too long because then they'd know that I was weak, despite my initial display of dominance. If they were trying to get me to insult them then they could be looking for an excuse to walk out and start a war.

I settled for a single nod. "Yes we do. You came to me, so I assume you have something to say."

"Yes," Byck said. "We've been wondering what gives you the right to arrest our glorious emperor like you have."

"Er..." I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head. "Have you not been updated with current events? Have you not spoken with Empress Kathyrine about it? Aepnet was the one who ordered the 'beastly raiders' to sack the two border towns. Surely you know that."

"Yes, we have heard." Fromme took a step towards me, causing my guard to flinch forwards. "What was them ore pressing issue on our minds, however, was why you felt that our emperor was under your jurisdiction, or why you felt that you had the power to go into our glorious country at all."

My eyes narrowed and my wings involuntarily spread out to their full length, something that I had learned was a bit of the pegasus instinct in me coming out to make myself look larger and more imposing. I was really, really hoping that it was working.

"I went into that forest because those raiders sacked the town and stole over a hundred of my subjects!" I slammed my hoof on the throne so hard that a ringing sound echoed throughout the throne room. "You would do the exact same thing in the event that some pony raiders took even twenty griffins!"

"Indeed we would, but..." Zangara glanced at each of his fellow dukes in turn and a small smirk crossed his face. "You see, Antares, we would not object if Celestia or Luna or even that love princess came into the forest to retrieve the prisoners, particularly not with your admittedly effective methods..."

"But there is an issue there," Fromme continued. "They have legitimacy."

"Legitimacy?" A confused look flashed across my face for a moment. I hoped that it was brief enough that they did not notice, but a sinking feeling told me that they caught on. "I fail to see what their right to rule has to do with anything."

"I thought not," Zangara said with a light, condescending chuckle. "You see, Antares, Celestia is tied to the sun and Luna is tied to the moon. On top of that, they are the descendants of rulers, so they have claim to the Equestrian throne as diarchs. Cadance was the rightful heiress to the throne of the Crystal Empire, so her blood is royal as well. You, however..."

"Have no such claims," Byck finished.

"You were not even born in this land, correct?" Fromme guessed. "Or even a pony?"

Zangara snorted and his faint smirk widened slightly. "Or female."

My right front hoof twitched, but I held my steadily rising temper in check. They were just trying to provoke me. If I didn't let them then they wouldn't achieve whatever it was that they were setting out to do. I took a few seconds to center myself before responding.

"Gentlemen. My claim to the throne comes from the Elements of Harmony: the most powerful known objects in the world. It is through their power that I ascended to become a goddess of ponykind. That is where my legitimacy comes from."

"Oh, so being blasted by magical gems is all it takes to sit upon an Equestrian throne?" Zangara scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I have never heard of something so ridiculous. You would most certainly be the first to have that happen. Supreme executive power derives from a legitimate claim such as royal blood or having the crown taken or given to you, not some farcical light show by some pretty gems that give you a few feathers!"

Captain Blaze's mouth twisted into a snarl, and I knew that he ever so dearly wanted to retort by shoving Zangara's hat up his rear, but he knew enough to hold his tongue. Good thing too, as that would have blown everything. Of course, I was vocally mad enough for the both of us.

"I wasn't aware that Griffonia had any say in who the Equestrians chose to take the throne!" I snarled. "Our country's political structure is not your business!"

"Oh? But then why is our leadership your business?" Fromme said with a smug smile. "You say that we should not judge on the matter, but yet you have arrested our own emperor and have taken a marked interest in our glorious Kathyrine. You have directly removed an emperor from power who has ruled our nation for thirty six years!"

"He ordered an attack on two of our border towns!"

"And you have proof of this?" Byck said quietly.

I nodded and folded my wings back to my sides. "Yes. We have proof of this. Documents and testimonies."

"I see." Byck quietly sighed and shook his head. "What assurances do we have that they are real? That they are not pony lies?"

"Should you like to examine the documents you may do so under the supervision of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and myself."

"Under the...?" Zangara began sputtering some nonsense words that I couldn't make out before slamming his fist on the ground. "Antares that is completely unacceptable! The documents in question must be transported back to Griffonia to ensure their authenticity! Looking at them while Celestia and Luna watch us from behind to make sure that we don't get too close a look isn't going to convince us of anything!"

"It'll stop you from tampering with them!" I retorted. "If we give you the documents then what assurances do we have that you wouldn't 'lose' them or destroy them in any way?"

"How dare you!" Fromme roared, flaring out his own wings. "How dare you accuse us of something so dishonorable! The very implication that we would do something so... outrageous is of the highest insult!"

"Those documents are the prime evidence against Aepnet, and they show that he ordered the raids. Would you allow such documents out of your sight in our position?" I crossed my forelegs and glared at them. "Of course you wouldn't. You'd keep them in a safe under guard. You don't just lend the evidence to people. That's just stupid."

"That is our emperor that you have arrested, Antares!" Fromme scoffed and pointed a claw at me. "I cannot believe the nerve of you Equestrians! First you have a pretender take an army into our country, then you arrest our emperor on trumped up charges and false accusations based on crafted evidence! Those are acts of war!"

"Why in the world would we want war?!" I snapped. "The whole point of this meeting was so that we could avoid it, right? We don't want war any more than you do!"

"Then you shouldn't have usurped our emperor, Antares!" Fromme harrumphed and raised his beak into the air. "Though as far as you are concerned it does not matter. Griffonia does not recognize your legitimacy to the Equestrian throne, thus we have no more reason to deal with you in all of this than we would with a common farmer."

With that, he turned around and began walking out of the throne room without so much as giving me a courtesy bow or giving me any respectful goodbye in the least. The other dukes were quick to follow suit, which was more than fine by me. I hope the door hit one of them in the rear on the way out so hard that he had a bruise that meant that he couldn't sit down for a week.

With the throne room empty of stupid griffins, I was left with my thoughts. My really, really pissed off thoughts. I expected them to hit low, but not recognizing my right to rule based on where I had come from? I didn't expect that, and I don't think that Celestia did either.

My thoughts were cut off when Captain Blaze walked up beside me, shaking his head like he couldn't believe what had just happened.

"So, let me get this straight, Princess Antares." I glanced down at him with a frown. "You punched Princess Celestia, a benevolent ruler who has always tried to do what is best for you and her subjects, in the face not once, but three times, but you didn't raise a hoof against them?"

I smirked and chuckled quietly. "Captain Blaze, my most valued of soldiers, my time will come." I looked back to the door that those stupid griffins had just walked out of. "Yes. My time will come."

Author's Notes:

Now, with the whole "world wars" stuff, I didn't really expect this story to take this turn, but the story told me to, and it's the one in charge here. Not me.

Interrogations and Confessions

First Aepnet pulls this crap, then the dukes treat me like I don't have any right to sit on an Equestrian throne. I mean, yeah, I wasn't the most orthodox of choices obviously, that would be Twilight, but the Elements of Harmony blasted me and I had made the vow that I would serve and protect these ponies as best as I could. If that didn't give me the right to rule in a country like this then I don't know what did!

Okay, being born an alicorn, or even a pony, with monarch parents would have done it, but my point still stands. I'm an equestrian princess, and that's not going to change because some stupid dukes who can't see past their own gains tell me that I'm not royal. There have been plenty of people born in small town Colorado who have gone on to become royalty! I just... don't remember any of them off the top of my head, that's all.

With the dukes gone, I stomped to the side room where the other three princesses were waiting with a rather impressive grimace on my face. I couldn't imagine that they were going to be any happier about this whole thing than I was once they heard.

When I entered the room all three princesses were at a small table and talking quietly to each other. They looked up when I walked in and immediately noticed my mood. They shot to their hooves and rushed over to me.

"How did it go, Antares?" Luna asked. "We gather not well."

I growled quietly and ground my hoof into the ground. "If I thought that Aepnet was a rotten, condescending loon, then those three are him times ten! They started off vaguely respectful, but then they followed it up by claiming that I had no right to go into Griffonia to get our subjects back, or to arrest Aepnet."

"We had every right to do so!" Luna cried, stomping her hoof on the ground. "They sacked the town and enslaved our ponies! That gives us every right!"

"Oh they didn't say that we didn't have the right. They said that I didn't have the right. As in me specifically."

The fire went out of Luna's eyes, and she replaced her angry expression with a frown. She tilted her head. "We fail to note the distinction, Antares. Thou art just as much a princess as we."

"Not according to those bird faces," I grumbled. I ground my teeth together and walked over to my spot at the table to make myself a little more comfortable. "They're refusing to recognize my legitimacy because I was not born in Equestria, as a pony, and I don't have any ancestors with claims to the throne either. As they see it, you guys just let a commoner create an army and invade their lands to capture their emperor."

"Ah..." Celestia slowly exhaled and closed her eyes halfway. "Ah, so that is their game. I admit that I was foolish to not consider the idea..."

"What?" Now Cadance tilted her head. "What are they up to?"

Celestia gave a single nod then opened her eyes completely again. "TD, I think that for your first time you did very well against them. I think that their rejection of your legitimacy means two things. The first one being that they knew that they couldn't easily push you around, so having found what information they were looking for, they left."

"So they knew that I wasn't going to roll over for them so they chose my non-royal birth as a starting point." I sighed and put my head in my hooves. "Charming. Absolutely wonderful. I'm glad that they didn't think that I was something of a pushover. Who knows how that would have gone."

"We shall deal with that in due time, TD," Celestia said, putting a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "What else did they say?"

I snorted and a slight smirk crossed my face. "I think this one is what made them realize that I wasn't going to just roll over for them: they demanded to take the evidence we have against Aepnet back to Griffonia, presumably so that they could just destroy it or alter it in some way so as to 'prove' that we were the ones who set him up."

The coconut sound of all three other princesses facehooving secretly delighted me, as my favorite cartoonist would put it. All riiight! I don't know how the griffin nobles thought that I could be so stupid either, but the proof was in the pudding, as it were.

"Yeah, I wasn't quite open to the idea, as you would imagine. It was pretty stupid of them to ask."

Celestia gave a slow, pained sigh and shook her head. "Indeed. Such has always been the way of the Griffonian nobility, I'm afraid. Were Aepnet in their position he would likely try the same thing. They're a very cutthroat bunch."

"I noticed that."

"Indeed." Celestia paused for a moment as if deep in thought then nodded once and began walking towards the door. "The dukes will want to meet with us. Even if they don't, I would like to meet with them before they leave. We have one or two things to discuss."

Luna and Cadance nodded in agreement and began following Celestia out of the room. Before they could leave, I called out.

"Er... Cadance? Can I ask you something really quick?"

Cadance looked at me quizzically for a moment before nodding and walking back over to me. When she was close enough, I leaned in to whisper to her. "If at all possible, can you send some of your Blade Wings to Griffonia to watch over Kathyrine? I don't trust those dukes, and if she's gone then there is going to be even more trouble than there already is. If not, I understand, but I'd like to make sure that Kathyrine is safe."

Cadance nodded. "Of course, TD. I can get a few Blade Wings over in a few hours. They're good enough that she'll never know that they're around."

I gave Cadance a small salute. "'Preciate it."

"If you could, TD," Celestia said, "I would like you to go to the prison to speak with Aepnet or Sinosis about the events. See if you cannot garner some more evidence about what is going on. Barring that, speak with one of the lower raiders. Some second in command that might be more open to protecting himself by selling out his fellows."

I stood up and nodded. "I can do that. I have court covered for now anyway, so I have time to do whatever we need to get done."

"Then please hurry, TD." Celestia stepped aside and shepherded Luna and Cadance out of the room. "Time is most certainly of the essence here."

The flight to the prison was a short one for somepony with my wing span, and I made it in a few short hours. I spent the flight thinking over in my head what I needed to say to any of the griffins that I wanted to interrogate for more information. Sinosis seemed to be the kind of griffin that would only respond to the specific kind of carrots that he wanted, and Aepnet would likely just repeatedly tell me that I had no right in arresting him and that he'd declare war the moment that he got out of prison. That left one of the lesser griffins as the best targets. On the other hoof, though, they would likely know a lot less information. Still, they could let something slip that somebody wanted hidden.

It was times like this that I did wish that I knew a lie detector spell. Or was even well versed enough in body language that I could tell when somebody was lying to me. Sure sometimes it's pretty easy, but I doubt that even Sinosis could get away with lying straight to Celestia's face.

I landed just outside the prison and was greeted with salutes by everybody who saw me. I nodded back to them and walked towards the entrance, which was immediately opened to me. I wasn't more than a dozen steps in before I was met by a stocky blue earth pony wearing a cheap suit and flanked by two unicorn prison guards. All three of them bowed low to me.

"Princess Antares, it is an honor to have you here at my facility," said the earth pony. "I am Warden Lockup, and I am here to help you in whatever way you desire."

"I appreciate that," I said with a nod in his direction. "I'm here because I need to speak with some of the griffin prisoners who I incarcerated here recently."

"Ah yes..." Warden Lockup took a hoofkerchief out of his front pocket and wiped his brow. "Nasty business, that. Not every day that I come in to work and find that we have not only a Griffonian warlord and his army, but the Griffonian emperor himself in our care. Most distressing, I must admit. The warlord, Sinosis, I believe his name is, is certainly a nasty fellow. Tried to put out a few eyes with those claws of his."

I grimaced at that. I had no illusions that Sinosis would behave completely, but trying to blind prison guards was something that I didn't like hearing about him doing. No matter. He was locked up now and that was where he needed to be right now.

"Okay..." I gave a single nod then turned my attention to the warden again. "I would like to speak to the former Griffonian emperor." If nothing else I'd like to let him know that his daughter's okay.

Warden Lockup nodded and bowed again. "Of course, Princess Antares. Just give me a few minutes. I'll have one of my guards escort you to Interrogation Room A where you can speak with him as long as you desire."

With one final bow, the warden ordered one of his guards to escort me to the interrogation room in question. It was a fairly short walk from the front entrance, but we did have to pass through two locked doors that required ID before we got there. Being that I was on par with Celestia and Luna in terms of security clearance, I could have gotten through without the guard escorting me.

We reached the room and I discovered that it looked pretty much like every single interrogation room that one would see in the movies or on TV. Bare walls, a presumably two way mirror, a single white table and two chairs. I elect to remain standing as the chairs are far too small for me as a human, let alone an alicorn.

I don't have to wait more than a minute before the door opened and Aepnet walked in. He was unrestricted, but he looked quite a bit different without any royal garments. On top of that, he was much more haggard. His eyes were bloodshot, his feathers were in need of a good preening, and he looked like he hasn't slept well in quite a while. He walked over to the chair opposite me and sat down without so much as a greeting.

"Your daughter is safe."

That sparked a little life in his eyes. He fixed his gaze on me. "And what, praytell, is your definition of safe, Antares? Do you have her locked in some tower? Is she guarded by a full regiment of ponies day in and day out? Have Fromme, Byck, and Zangara suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet?" Aepnet gave a chuckle that sounded almost like he's gargling gravel. It held no trace of humor. "Please. Do tell me what 'safe' means in this instance."

"It means that she is being covertly watched so that she is not disturbed but can be protected in the event that an attempt on her life is made." My eyes narrowed into a glare and I took a step towards Aepnet. "It means that an attack on Kathyrine will be seen as an attack on me. It means that she is supported through this time, a time that, if you don't mind me saying so, you brought upon her."

"I did no such thing!" Aepnet snarled, slamming his claw on the table. "I'm innocent, Antares! The evidence is forged!"

"The evidence like your most trusted servant admitting that it was your orders that the fort be burned?" I scoffed and shook my head. "Be honest with me, Aepnet. Look at all of the evidence that we have against you. If you were in my position and the only evidence in my defense was that I promised you that I didn't do it, what would you say?"

That shut him up. He settled for merely glaring at me. He knew that I was right, though. The evidence against him was quite overwhelming. He was in deep and he knew it.

"I do not want to talk to you anymore, Antares. I will speak no further."

I shrugged with my wings. "Fine." I nodded to the guard who nudged Aepnet to stand up. "Just know that we potentially have a world war on our hooves here. We don't want it any more than you do."

Aepnet didn't respond as he was led out. Truth be told I didn't really expect him to be cooperative. He was an emperor who was in some pony jail. I can't imagine that he thought that we were being very fair to him, even if he was guilty, and all of the evidence that we had right now said that he was.

After a few more moments the guard returned. "Do you want to see another prisoner, Princess Antares?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I want you to let me pick him out, though. If you could lead me to the prison cells, I would appreciate that."

The guard bowed low. "Of course. Right this way."

I followed the guard out of the room and towards the cells. As before we had to pass through several checkpoints, each with several guards who bowed low to me. After a few minutes we reached the cells.

There were two griffins to each cell as we passed by, most of whom looked up at me when I walked past their cells. A majority of them glared at me, but a few shrank back in fear. It was those that I was after. I turned to the guard escorting me. "Where are you keeping the higher ranked griffins? I'm talking the ones a peg or two below Sinosis?"

"Right near the end of the block, Princess," the guard replied, motioning with his head and a forehoof.

I followed him to the end of the row where a pair of griffins were lying on the cots in the cells. They both sat up when they saw me standing there. The one on the top bunk narrowed his eyes and flared his wings. He leaped off of the bed and grabbed the bars, his expression twisting into a snarl.

"You've come to laugh at us, pretty pony princess? You've come to lord over us poor, defenseless griffins?" He reached through the bars and pointed a claw at me. "You'll be sorry, Antares. You'll be sorry when we get out of here! You'll all be sorry!"

"A truly eloquent and original speech." I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "You spend all night coming up with it?"

"You dare speak to me in such a manner?!"

"Uh-huh."

He wasn't worth it. He wasn't what I was after. Now his cellmate? Yeah, that was another matter entirely. He had backed into a corner and was looking at me with pure, unadulterated fear in his eyes. It looked as though he expected me to obliterate him where he stood.

Perfect.

I turned my head to the cell guard and pointed at the shivering griffin. "Him. He's the one I want."

The griffin's eyes widened and he let out a loud, piercing shriek. He began running back and forth between the walls of his cell while his cellmate stood in front of him, yelling something at me that was drowned out by the cries of his cellmate. The commotion drew a half dozen more guards to the scene, all of whom began subduing the two griffins. The rest of the griffins, seeing how we were acting with the two in the cell, went absolutely berserk, and the cell block exploded into chaos with most of the prisoners shouting at me and the prison guards.

It was not going well, needless to say.

I escorted the guard who had been leading me out of the room to somewhere a little quieter. We could still hear the noise of the riot, but I could at least hear myself talk.

"Okay, here's what I need you to do: I need you to get me two comfortable chairs and some real food. I assume the warden's office is a little more comfortable than the interrogation rooms?" The guard nodded and I returned it. "Good. Then I want what I asked for in there in twenty minutes. Bring the prisoner there. That's where I want to talk to him."

The guard frowned and uneasily scratched the back of his neck. "Er... Princess Antares, that is most irregular. I'm going to have to clear it with Warden Lockup first."

"Well then do it. When you do, tell him that it's a direct order from the highest authority in the land who is doing her very best to prevent what could be the most destructive war in the history of the planet by offering a carrot instead of a stick." My eyes narrowed slightly and I leaned in closer to the guard. "Capice?"

"O-of course, Princess Antares!" The guard was quick to salute me. "I will have what you requested brought to the warden's office at once!"

"Kind of you."

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting in the warden's chair with the warden sitting behind me and five guards behind the prisoner, who was sitting across from me in a plush armchair. On the desk was a plate of fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as half of a vanilla cake. The griffin was staring at the food, a hungry look in his eyes. I made a note to ask about what these guys were getting fed when all of this was over.

I cleared my throat and the griffin looked up at me. I smiled comfortingly at him and lit my horn, levitating a goblet and pitcher of water. I poured the water into the goblet and set it next to the griffin. "Please do help yourself to the food. You must be hungry for something with a little more flavor."

The griffin's claws immediately shot out and snatched a handful of apple slices that he shoved into his mouth. Before he had even finished chewing he had pulled the plate of cake over to him and took a chunk out of it the size of his fist. Seeing how ravenously he ate gave me a little pause, and I turned my head to the warden.

"What the heck are you feeding these guys and how often? He's acting like he's never had food before."

The warden flattened his ears and tugged at his collar. "Er... well, we don't exactly have funding to give them five course meals, Princess Antares. We tend to have oatmeal for breakfast and potato and cabbage soup for lunch and dinner. There are some fruits and such for sides so that they have a more balanced diet, of course."

"Ea' fine here," The griffin said through a mouthful of cake. He chewed the rest and swallowed before taking a long drink from his goblet. "Just with my lifestyle, these aren't the kinds of things that I get to eat."

"Ah, that makes sense." My smile returned. "Then please feel free to eat as much as you'd like."

The griffin vigorously nodded and shoved a few pineapple slices into his mouth. I allowed him to continue eating for a few more moments before gently clearing my throat. I hated to do this. I've read books, I've seen movies and know how all of this works. I don't want to be the bad guy to him, but I'm trying to prevent a world war here.

"So... I'm afraid that we do have to talk a little business. I can imagine that you figured that."

The griffin froze with an apple slice halfway to his mouth, his eye briefly twitching. He stayed completely still for a few moments before slowly lowering the food and looking up at me. "Yeah. I kind of guessed that all of this wasn't free."

I raised my hooves defensively. "Oh don't think that I'm so cruel a leader as that. I'm not going to abuse you if you give me nothing. It's just..." I sigh and rub my temples. "Look, I'm trying to prevent a war between our countries, okay? Heck, if a war starts then a lot of other countries that have nothing to do with this are going to get pulled into this, resulting in what I think is going to be one of the most brutal and destructive wars that this planet has ever seen. And if you'll pardon me for saying so, I don't see how you have a chance if you're up against three goddesses."

For the first time since the griffin came in, a small smirk crossed his face. He popped a raspberry into his mouth and crossed his forelegs. "You really think that there aren't plans in case we halfta go to war against you? We have weapons that can hurt you." He shrugged and impaled a blueberry on one of his claws. "Er... well not my group specifically, but from what I understand the Griffonian army does."

Hmm... that's... troubling news. Celestia mentioned after my ascension that I was immune to normal weapons, normal implying that there were weapons of a higher level that could hurt me. The idea that the griffons, a nation we were possibly about to go to war with, had such weapons was more than a little unsettling. As a ruler, I'd likely have to take the field if it did come to war, or at least one of us would. Equestria losing a princess would be a huge freaking deal for the entire planet. That might be a line of questioning worth looking into.

"So..." I cleared my throat. "When you say that the griffons have such weapons, what do you mean?"

The griffon shrugged. "Dunno. Never seen any myself. Just know that they're Nightmare Weapons, that's all."

"Nightmare Weapons?"

"Yeah, from the Lunar War?" The griffin raised an eyebrow when he noticed that I didn't get it. "You know, the weapons that Nightmare Moon developed a few years into the fighting so that she could kill Celestia and win the war? She made a fair few of them. Most of them were destroyed after Celestia won, but every now and again one pops up. Rumor has it Emperor Aepnet has a few."

Well, ah, Celestia and Luna would have to be told about that. Maybe they could use some diplomacy to make sure that they got rid of all of them. Heck or even just sabotage, because having weapons that can kill the ponies that raise the sun and the moon aren't something that I'd be comfortable with.

Noticing my unease, the griffin picked up a strawberry and took off the top with a shrug. "Like I said, though, just rumors."

"Right. Rumors." I decided to file that away for now. More evidence against Aepnet was needed right now. If he did have them then Kathyrine would definitely turn them over. "So, I have a very important question for you: did Aepnet ever directly come into your fortress to hire you to sack those border towns, or was there always a buffer between the two of you?"

"Aepnet never came into our fortress."

Okay, that complicates things a little bit, but that doesn't completely exonerate him, of course. "So he always sent an emissary to do the negotiations for you?"

The griffin let out a quiet sigh and pushed the mostly empty plates away. He spread one wing and reached into it, producing a single scrap of what looked like paper from his feathers. He placed it on the table and slid it over to me. "Took that with a small, no-flash camera in case I needed it. It seems that I do."

Frowning, I picked up the paper in my magic and unfolded it. It was a photograph of the inside of Sinosis' quarters, as expected, but it was who was in the photograph that caused my jaw to nearly hit the floor. I shot straight to my hooves and flipped the photograph around, nearly shoving it in the griffin's face.

"Is this real?!" I pushed it closer to him. "Is this real?! Did you forge this in any way?!"

"On my life and the life of my ancestors I did not forge that photograph," the griffin said with the utmost calm. "I'm not a magical being, Princess Antares. That photograph is as real as you or I, and details real events. I assure you: it's exactly what you think."

Oh my gosh. Oh mygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

I think I need to be back in Canterlot right this very instant.

I began running towards the door of the warden's office while the baffled guards looked amongst themselves, doubtlessly wondering what the heck the photo was. I screeched to a halt and pointed at the griffin. "Let him keep eating as long as he wants. Move him to an individual cell and give him access to books and such. He may have just prevented a war. If you don't do as I ask I'll find out and fire all of you."

I didn't even give them a chance to respond. I began running towards the exit as fast as my legs would carry me. I was slowed down briefly by the checkpoints, but I was out of the prison in record time. I made sure to put the strongest protection spell I knew on the photo. Admittedly that wasn't a very strong protection spell, but it would keep it from being damaged by things like weather and the like.

As soon as I was out of the prison and free of the anti-teleportation spells that were placed over it, I ignited my horn and began teleport hopping towards Canterlot. It was far faster than flying, but it did take a little more out of me. It was a fair trade-off, though. The other princesses needed to see this, and they needed to see it days ago.

Within twenty minutes I found myself outside of Canterlot Castle. I ran inside, a little more slowly than I had run out of the prison as I was developing a headache from my magic use, and made a beeline straight for the throne room. I burst inside and was elated to see that Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were all inside. Celestia, who was on her throne, shot to her hooves when she saw me run in.

"TD? What's wrong? Did you discover something at the prison?"

"Y... yeah, I d..." I took several deep breaths to get rid of the burning feeling in my lungs and produced the photograph from my mane. Pinkie Pie was right. It's a good place to store things. "Found... more evidence that... changes everything."

I held out the photograph and Celestia took it in her magic. She gasped the instant that she saw it and ran over to me. "TD, where did you get this?!"

"One of Sinosis'... second-in-command's," I wheezed. I took another deep breath and finally felt myself beginning to center. "He had a hidden camera and snapped that picture in case he needed it to save his skin."

"We think he has done that," Luna muttered as she stared at the photograph with Cadance.

"No kidding," I agreed. "When the griffin in question showed me the picture he said that it was exactly what I thought it was. I never thought I'd see a picture of Sinosis meeting with Duke Fromme."

Lord Talkative

So this whole griffin thing is now officially an international cop soap opera now. Who knew that being a princess would come with such drama and intrigue? Princess Celestia has scanned the photograph for evidence of any tampering whatsoever and she has found none. This is officially a legitimate photograph.

And I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do now.

So this definitely shows that Fromme has a big part in all of this. Whether that proves that Aepnet has been telling the truth throughout all of this is another matter entirely. He could still have been working with Fromme to get all of this going. We're really going to have to treat this whole thing with the utmost care and delicacy, or else this is all going to go to pot.

So there we were, all four of us sitting around a table and staring at that photograph, trying to think of any idea that would help us sort this whole mess out. It was Celestia who took a deep breath and broke the silence.

"Well, I think that this calls for detaining Duke Fromme at the very least." She glanced up at me. "Given their aversion to your power, I'd say that it would be best if Luna or myself headed the arrest."

I nodded. "Sounds good. They're still here, right?"

"Indeed they are," Celestia confirmed. "They wanted to stay here to try to keep negotiating, either for the terms of war or for the terms of Aepent's release. It will not be difficult to arrest Duke Fromme, particularly with this evidence."

"They won't like it," I grumbled darkly. "You know the other two are going to see this as proof that we're trying to overthrow their entire monarchy. They'll accuse us of plotting to go after all of them next."

"Hence the delicacy of the issue," Celestia agreed.

"Our vote is to determine Aepnet's guilt based on this evidence," Luna said, tapping the photograph with a hoof. "Should he be found innocent, then he can arrest Duke Fromme. They will be forced to bow to his authority."

"Particularly if it's backed up by us," I mused. "I mean, if they framed him and this is a coup attempt, then there is nothing stopping them from putting Griffonia through a civil war and doing it that way unless they thought that we'd get involved on Aepnet's side."

"Sound reasoning," Celestia said with a nod. "Do you have any ideas about how best to ascertain Aepnet's innocence?"

Did I ever. A sly smile crossed my face and I chuckled mischievously. "Do I ever. We obviously can't ask Aepnet if he's had anything to do with it because he'll just say ‘no’ no matter what the truth is, but I think there's somebody else we can get the truth out of. Somebody else who I'm hoping doesn't know we have this photo."

A few hours later saw me back at the prison in the interrogation room I had talked to Aepnet in, waiting for my next guest to interrogate. If this worked out like I hoped it did, war would be avoided and all of this would be laid to rest. We could move on and not have to mobilize armies to go fight the griffins in a bloody world war.

Man, I really hoped that this worked out the way that I wanted it to.

The door to the interrogation room opened, and in walked none other than Sinosis. He had chains around his forelegs and hind legs, and his claws were wrapped in tape to prevent him from using them. To complete the picture, he was wearing a jacket to secure his wings. Oh, and a really nasty scowl. That too. I doubt that he was pleased with his treatment. Well, that can't be avoided, I suppose.

Sinosis sat on the seat opposite me, his scowl not leaving his face. He folded his talons and twisted his mouth into a snarl. "You here ta gloat, Antares? You here to lord it over me that you've won, or are you here to torture information out of me? You gonna use your magic to read my mind to get everything that you want?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, no, Sinosis. Nothing so gauche as that. Yes, this is an interrogation, but I would like to continue our quid pro quo from earlier. You know, the more information you give me the lesser your punishment? Unless, of course, you don't want that." I shrug. "Makes little difference to me."

Sinosis' snarl faded slightly, and he raised an eyebrow. I could tell he was interested, which is quite good for me. "I'm listening," he growled.

"Good." I cleared my throat and connected my forehooves on the table. "Now, then, we were discussing Aepnet when last we met, yes? We obviously found documents in your fort sent by him, but what can you tell me about any other contact the two of you had?"

"Ah, well, what's there to tell, really?" Sinosis gave his own shrug. "He'd come to the fort under the cover of darkness, always with bodyguards, but always in disguise in case some of the lower ranked members of my band noticed him coming and going. He never really said much; just handed the documents to us and left."

I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head. "So Aepnet came to your fort in disguise and didn't say much. You sure it was him?"

Sinosis nodded. "Yeah, quite sure. He always took off his hood when we were in the privacy of my quarters."

I snorted and crossed my forelegs. "Wow, he sounds like a real idiot if he didn't send a delegation. I mean, why the heck would the freaking emperor of all griffinkind come straight into a raider fort to basically set up an act of war?"

"That was my doing," Sinosis admitted. "He tried a delegation once, but I sent 'em right back, saying that I didn't believe them for a moment. 'Course, once he came personally with orders I was, eheh, a little more inclined to buy into what he was saying."

"Makes sense." Alright, time to play my trump card. Or trump photograph, as it were. "So, it was just Aepnet. The delegations never included like, say, the dukes, or anything like that?"

Sinosis shook his head. "Nope. Never saw no dukes. It was just Aepnet and his griffins that dealt with us."

"Okay, okay..." I ignited my horn and the photograph flew out from between my feathers. I unfolded it and placed it down on the table right where he could see it. "Then how do you explain this?"

Boom.

It had the complete desired effect. Sinosis went dead silent, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide as he was confronted with irrefutable evidence that I had ever so gently laid a trap and he had gleefully marched right into it. I allowed him to take as much time as he needed to re-boot his brain after seeing the photo. I mean, now that Celestia and Luna were watching the dukes, there was no real rush. I could spare a few minutes to watch Sinosis flounder. Gotta say, after being beaten, tied up and muzzled by this joker, this was kind of nice.

It was a full five minutes before Sinosis could respond. He could only sit there, staring open-mouthed at the photograph while trying to figure out where it had all gone wrong for him. Well, being a raider with troops willing to throw you under the bus to save their own skin going up against goddesses was a good start.

"You..." Sinosis' voice cracked and he blinked once. "You forged that. That's a fake pony lie!"

"Indeed?" I chuckled and flipped the photograph so that I could look at it. "Well, that wouldn't explain your shock, Mr. Sinosis, nor the fact that we got it from one of your own men. Which one I'm not at liberty to say, of course, but this is griffin, not pony. So..." I grinned and flipped the photograph back to him. "You wanna tell me what really happened? It'll be easier for everyone if you do, I assure you."

He was caught in his lie and he knew it full well. There was not a darned thing that he could do to deny it, and he knew it full well. If I had to guess, he knew the exact thing that was going on when the photograph was taken. It was another minute or so before he managed to say anything.

"It was all Fromme. It was him the entire time. That bit I said about a delegation coming first but me sending them back so he came personally? That part was true, but it was Fromme, not Aepnet who was behind it." Sinosis' slowly looked down to the ground, completely unable to meet my gaze. "Fromme was behind everything from the start."

"Alrighty, then." I took a deep breath and cracked my neck. I'd have to corroborate this with some of the other griffin prisoners, but if they all said the same thing then we had to figure out what to do with Aepnet. He would not be happy. I mean, I'm sure he'd be happy to get his crown back and get out of prison and all that, but he would not be happy that he was arrested in the first place, regardless of the fact that there was very strong evidence against him.

We could figure that out soon. I signaled to the guards. "Get him out of here. I'm finished with him."

Sinosis' snapped his head back up, his glare having returned full force. "I gave you what you wanted, Antares! I gave you all of the information that you wanted, now let me go!"

I snorted and crossed my forelegs. "Plea bargains aren't worthy of complete absolution, Sinosis. I'll speak with the other princesses about your sentence, but at the end of the day you still led a raid on our border towns knowingly with the help of the Griffonian government for the sake of a coup. Heck, we may just give you over to Aepnet, who I don't see being very appreciative of everything you've done to him and his family."

Sinosis' jaw dropped, and he stared at me in total shock. No doubt he thought he had just been tricked for a second time. After a few moments his eyes narrowed, and with a snarl he lunged at me. Now, there wasn't much he could do, what with me being an alicorn and him being secured the way he was, but assault on royalty is an assault on royalty, and three different horns, including mine, lit up to restrain him. He snarled at me and began thrashing in mid-air, completely unable to do anything else.

"You'll be sorry, Antares! You'll be sorry you ever crossed me! I'll have your head for the abuses I've suffered!"

I shook my head sadly. "No, I don't think so, buddy." I waved my hoof. "Get him back to his cell, and get me the next prisoner to interview."

Sinosis' threats aside, everything went beautifully. It was common knowledge that we had arrested Aepnet for being behind the whole thing, so I led with that. Everybody who didn't flat out admit that it was a lie was fooled by my photograph trap and admitted the truth soon after.

Overall, we had pretty definitive evidence that Aepnet was not behind it, something that put us in an highly awkward position. He had spent a few days in one of our prisons, and he was not going to be happy about that.

After I had all of the information I needed, it was time to talk to Aepnet. I requested the warden's office again. I doubted he'd be receptive to the interrogation room again, and I needed him to be as happy as possible if we were going to come out of this whole thing peacefully.

After a few minutes of waiting, Aepnet was brought in, still just as disheveled as when I had seen him the last time. My stomach clenched up and I had to bite my tongue to refrain from grimacing. This could go very poorly if I didn't play my cards right.

Aepnet sat down on the chair opposite me and crossed his forelegs, a hint of a glare on his face, as usual. "Well, have you come to sentence me, Antares? You come to tell me that my daughter was assassinated and Fromme or Byck or Zangara took the throne in a bloody coup while I was gone? You come to tell me that I'll be here for the rest of my considerably shortened life?"

I shook my head and raised a hoof to calm him down. "No. Quite the opposite, actually. I've come to tell you that we've made a terrible mistake, though I think you can see how we might have made it."

Aepnet's eyes widened and he leaned forward in his chair, slamming his claws on the desk. "What did you say?! What are you talking about, Antares? Are you saying that you admit that I had nothing to do with any of this, that I'm innocent as I claimed?"

It was painful to do so, but I slowly nodded. "Yes. What's more is that we discovered who was really behind it." I produced the photograph and slid it across the desk so that he could get a good look at it. "Fromme. Fromme was behind everything the whole time."

Aepnet stared blankly at the photograph for the longest time, not moving an inch. It was nerve wracking, to say the least. I mean, since he was innocent we did have to let him out, and if he was sufficiently mad then he could just want war anyway, and after what we did to him, Saddle Arabia might not want to get involved, but his minotaur allies certainly would.

Finally Aepnet blinked once and put a single talon on the photograph. He quietly exhaled and closed his eyes. "Antares, I want out of here, and I want to deal with Fromme and Sinosis personally. After everything that's happened, well, I'd rather not have war if it's all the same to you. I didn't reign for thirty-six years because I went to war with everybody who slighted me and..." He sighed. "As much as it pains me to admit it, I do recognize that there was significant evidence against me."

"You might want to have a talk with your butler about him burning down the fort," I said with a touch of humor in my voice. Now that it seemed we weren't going to war I could find little things to laugh at again. "Unless he was working with Fromme."

"It's possible," Aepnet muttered, "but yes, I know that I did not order him to burn down that fort. It does point to him being a double agent. Pity. He was such an asset to me."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Well, Aepnet, or should I say Emperor Aepnet as I'm sure your daughter will give you your throne back, how about we go and arrest Herr Fromme, hmm? The other three princesses are watching over him, so he's not going anywhere."

For the first time since his arrest, a trace of Aepnet's usual smug grin appeared on his face. He stood up from his seat and cracked his neck.

"Let's get him."

A few hours later there I was with the other princesses, waiting for the dukes to show up. I had to refrain from rubbing my hooves together and giggling like a Bond villain. All things considered, this worked out pretty well for us. I mean, we found the real culprit, none of our ponies were seriously hurt, and we're not going to war. That last one especially had me in good spirits. Nobody wants to go to war, though I did have my suspicions of how much that applied to Duke Fromme.

After discussing our basic plan, the doors to the throne room opened, and the dukes walked in, their smug smiles on their faces and their beaks in the air as per usual. No doubt they thought that we were going to sentence Aepnet and give them what they wanted to avoid war, which would mean bad things for Kathyrine.

However, I think she would be much safer from now on without the threat of war hanging overhead. At least, that was the hope. I personally wanted Aepnet to treat his daughter a little better now that they both had this scare.

The dukes stopped in front of Celestia and Luna's thrones and bowed low to everypony but me. Duke Fromme advanced a little further than each of them and was the one to speak.

"Gracious princesses of Equestria, we hope that our nations can find a way to peacefully resolve this issue. Since all of us are here I am confident that we can come to an agreement that benefits both of our nations, can we not?"

Celestia smiled serenely down at him, but I could see the glint in her eye that showed that she was just as eager to spring this trap as I was. "Indeed, Fromme, and I would say that we have certainly come up with a solution that I think benefits both of our nations to the fullest extent."

"I'm glad to hear it," Fromme said with a smile, though I could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes. He didn't miss that Celestia didn't call him by his title. "What is this plan of yours?"

"It's quite simple, really." Celestia motioned to the guards who were positioned all around the hall, and they moved in to circle around the dukes. "You're going to be arrested."

The jaws of all three dukes dropped, and I could see a vein bulging in Fromme's neck as he tried to register what Celestia had just said. He began sputtering out a few incomprehensible words before the other dukes regained their senses.

"So this is how it will be, Celestia?!" Zangara snarled. "Did Antares put you up to this? She seems to be quite fond of arresting Griffonian government officials when she has no power to do so! Now you draw us in here under the pretense of a truce and arrest us?!"

"I didn't say that I was arresting all of you," Celestia replied evenly. "I said that Fromme was the one who was going to be arrested."

The other two dukes' mouths dropped in surprise, and they each took a step back from Fromme, who by this point looked like he was about to have a brain aneurism. He let out a loud squawk of indignation and slammed a fist on the floor. "Now we see the true nature of the Equestrian government! You are overstepping your bounds by arresting me! You have no such authority!"

"You're right," I said quietly. A smirk crossed my face and I ignited my horn, opening up the double doors that led to the throne room. "But you know who does? Him."

The dukes all turned to see who had walked in, and I can only imagine what was going through their minds when they saw Aepnet standing there, his smug smile out in full force, with a group of griffin guards behind him. He walked up to Fromme, produced the photograph, and nearly shoved it in Fromme's face.

"I think this says all it needs to, Fromme, but we all have the testimonies of many raiders who say that I was never actually in that fort at any time. You were. The evidence against you is, as they say, overwhelming."

Fromme stared at the photograph in sheer horror, knowing full well that he was caught. He let out a tiny whimper and took a step back, pointing at the other two dukes. "They had a claw in it too! It was all of us! They are just as guilty as me!"

"Lies!" Zangara snarled. "You dare dishonor us by claiming this nonsense?!"

"If we were involved in this plot, what evidence do you have, Fromme?" Byck said evenly. "I for one find any testimonies by your griffins insufficient evidence as they would say whatever you wanted them to say whether we were guilty or not."

"You... TRAITORS!" Fromme screeched. "It was all your idea! I was just a pawn, Emperor Aepnet; you have to believe me!"

"No, Fromme, I don't," Aepnet said coolly. He motioned to his guards who advanced on Fromme. He squawked and spread his wings as though to escape, but the guards were on him in an instant, tying his wings to his sides and chaining his forelegs. "You are clearly guilty of attempting to overthrow me, and I think we both know what the sentence for that is, Fromme."

"I wasn't behind it, I swear!" Fromme screeched as he was carried out of the throne room. "It was all Byck and Zangara! It was all them!"

The double doors slammed shut, and Fromme's cries faded away as he was carried off to a police wagon we had provided to Aepnet. I glanced over at the two remaining dukes who were glancing uneasily at each other. If they didn't have at least a little to do with this whole thing I'd eat my horn, but there wasn't really anything we could do to prove it right now, and Aepnet had requested that he be allowed to handle the rest of it. Needless to say, we were more than happy to let him.

Aepnet slowly sighed and looked over at the two dukes. "Well, now. I think that we can all go home. I have a throne that my daughter has been keeping safe for me. We don't need to go to war with Equestria, it seems."

"Er..." Zangara blinked once and slowly nodded. "Yes. War wouldn't benefit our nations. I for one look forward to going back to our glorious homeland."

"And I as well," Byck said quietly. "Let us see the back of this place."

Aepnet nodded then turned to the four of us. He bowed low, and we returned it. "I thank you for your help. Without you I could never have discovered the true culprit, nor been able to keep my daughter safe."

"We were glad to do it, Aepnet." Celestia's smile faded and was replaced with a slight frown. "Though I trust we shall not have an incident of this nature again?"

Aepnet visibly shuddered and shook his head. "Paradise forbid that happen, your majesty. I pray for peace between our nations." Aepnet bowed once again to us. "Goodbye."

With that, the griffins were gone. They filed out of the throne room and went to go slither back to the horrid land from whence they came. I personally was glad to be done with all of this. I mean, we still had to negotiate the transfer of the prisoners we had, but that was a minor detail, all things considered. I took a deep breath and rubbed my temples.

"Well, that's that then, isn't it?"

Celestia nodded and stood up off of her throne, stretching her enormous wings to ease some of the tension in them. "Yes, I believe so, TD. I'm quite glad to see the back of this situation, I must admit. I hope for all of our sakes that it is done with."

"No kidding," I grumbled. I turned my head to the throne room doors. "No freaking kidding."

Well, could that have gone a touch better? I suppose, but in the end I learned everything that I needed to and achieved my goals, so I believe that it was a successful endeavor. All of the loose ends have been tied up as far as I'm aware. Was it the best plan? Well, not to boast, but I think that it was pretty close.

I leaned back in my reclining chair, something that I missed the most during my time in that wretched pony prison, and nibbled on a chunk of beef. One must keep up his strength, after all. I heard a knock on my door and I nodded to the guard watching it. He opened it up and my butler William walked in. I smirked at him and sat up.

"Good evening, William." I looked over at the guard. "Leave us." The guard saluted me and exited my room, closing the door behind him. I sighed contentedly and leaned back in my chair again. "I think it went well in the end, don't you, William?"

William's smirk was evident as he nodded. "Indeed it did, your majesty. It was riskier than I would have liked for you, but I think you played them all brilliantly."

I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I did, didn't I? That new pony princess, Antares, I think she was the best piece in the plan. So good that I think I can't even call her a pawn as that would diminish her role." I waved my claw lazily. "Maybe a rook or a mage, or something like that. She's strong, but not so strong that she cannot be manipulated under the right circumstances."

"Circumstances that you pulled off wonderfully, my lord." William walked over to another chair and sat down on it. "Though the role of triple agent was a difficult one, I must admit."

"Bah, try languishing in a pony prison for a few days then talk to me about difficult. Fromme was completely willing to believe that you'd switch sides. He never suspected you for a moment."

"He did have a few griffins willing to switch side of his own though, didn't he?" William said, his grin widening. "Enough to put the idea into his head that he should hire raiders to sack a pony town then frame you for it."

"As if I'd ever be so stupid as to put my royal seal on something that I sent to that kind of scum," I spat. "Fromme should have known better."

William shrugged. "It worked. The ponies bought it long enough that Fromme became overconfident. Long enough for our griffins inside Sinosis' camp to get the evidence of Fromme's treachery together." William's smile slowly faded, and he turned his head to look out the window at the setting sun. "Though I do have one issue. What about the other dukes? They were behind it as well, were they not?"

"Of that I have no doubt." I shrugged. "Fromme will hang tomorrow and Byck and Zangara will understand who has the power. They will not be so foolish as to risk their position when they see what I do to Fromme and his clan."

"Kathyrine did a remarkably fine job under pressure once the shock wore off," William observed. "You raised her well."

"Of course I did." I looked over to my desk where a picture of Kathyrine as a chick of no more than five rested and smiled fondly at it. "I have always said that she will make a wonderful empress, and I think this proves it." I closed my eyes and sighed contentedly. "At the end of the day, though, I'm confident that my position is secure." I gave a single chuckle. "Though Antares is still an unknown on the whole. We need to keep an eye on her, I think."

Author's Notes:

So that's it for the griffin arc. Wow, that went longer than I expected. I thought it would be in the range of fifteen thousand words or so and instead it ended up clocking in at over thirty five thousand words. Oy.

Next up a different arc, though. One I hope you'll all like.

But in case the ending wasn't clear, here's a summary: Aepnet was behind it the whole time, because this arc wasn't enough like Game of Thrones, but Fromme thought that he was. Fromme thought that William was willing to switch over to his side, and William planted the idea in his head of using Sinosis and TD as pawns to overthrow Aepnet. Aepnet played the victim as he had no other choice once the documents were revealed, documents which in the end were just evidence against Fromme.

But again, Aepnet was pulling the strings in the end. The griffin who took the picture of Fromme and Sinosis? Working for Aepnet.

I hope that all makes sense.

The Church of Princess Antares

We had no more real international incidents on that scale for a long time after that, something that I was quite happy about. Griffonia was pretty quiet where we were concerned, as a matter of fact. Duke Fromme was executed, of course, and his clan had pretty much zero power after that, something that kept the other two dukes in check. Sinosis was imprisoned for life, probably because Aepnet felt that it would make him suffer more, while most of his group got twenty to thirty years, save for the griffin who gave the photograph who only got two.

And I didn't really care, to be honest. As long as they weren't bothering Equestria or sacking any more of my border towns, they could do whatever they wanted internally. Made no difference to me.

And so things were pretty quiet for two years. Yeah, two years went by before anything of real note happened to me. I was quite glad for it. I did, of course, look into getting my gender restored in those two years but came up with nothing permanent. It looked like if I permanently wanted to become male I'd have to create new magic, something that I wasn't quite skilled enough to do.

Trust me, though, I was working on it.

Overall, though, life was pretty good. I had done quite a lot to reform Equestrian society in ways that I think were pretty positive. Mostly regarding my cutie mark, of course. For example, I created this organization called Operation: Hearth's Warming Foal which gathered gifts for needy foals all over Equestria so that they could have a Hearth's Warming Day too. It was a smashing success both years that I did it, and the second year it was even larger than the first, with chapters springing up in every major Equestrian city.

Let's see, what else? Well, I'd done a lot to reform foal services. I did a census of all of the orphanages and such and with that created a database for all of the foals in the system so that nopony would get lost in it. I created a department specifically for that, which dealt with things like allegations of foal abuse, getting jobs and houses for unadopted foals who turned eighteen so that they wouldn't go out on the streets, and raising money to better fund orphanages. Foal abuse plummeted with me in charge.

With a princess able to focus on schools, teacher pay and school funding went up considerably. I mean, the teachers weren't millionaires, but they were a little more comfortable financially afterwards. With it being a better paying job, more ponies went into education, meaning the desperate need for teachers went down.

The weirdest part, though was the pastries. I mean, yeah, I was the Princess of Pastries and all of that, and the ponies of Equestria took that and completely ran with it.

Basically there are precious few ponies who haven't eaten something with my cutie mark on it.

Oh sure, cutie mark cakes of famous ponies is nothing new at all. I've seen cutie mark cookies and cakes for ponies like Celestia, Luna, Cadance, the Wonderbolts, heck, even the Elements, but man did the ponies take it to an extreme. There are entire shops in Baltimare completely dedicated to selling pastries with my cutie mark on it. Heck, one even does life sized cakes of me.

It creeped me right out when I discovered that, but hey, it's not like I could really stop them.

Still, I'd take creepy life sized Princess Antares cakes to Griffonian political drama any day. I'd say that my time as a princess was turning out to be pretty successful, if I thought about it, which I had to. Daily. Though it was still a little daunting being on the same level as Celestia and Luna when they have thousands of years of experience and I'm only twenty-three. Still, I was learning. I wasn't a perfect princess, neither were they, if one reflected on the matter, but I was learning.

On this particular Sunday morning I was eating breakfast while reading the local newspaper to get a grasp on current events in my city. I mean yeah, everything big found its way to me before it made the papers usually, but some of the smaller stories were worth reading, I felt.

Life was quiet, and had been for the past two years, which, to me, was a sign that I was due for something nasty happening because that's just how it works for me.

And life, or fate, or the universe, or whatever, did not fail to disappoint.

I reached the end of the newspaper where the ads were and put it down back up. I never read the ads as most things that I wanted I already had, and the things that I did want that I didn't have weren't things that mom-and-pop stores and snake oil salesponies would have.

But sometimes all it takes is one glance to change the course of your day completely. Heck, this one glance changed my life forever, I'd say. I glanced down at the newspaper just in case there was something interesting and what I saw... well, I'm still not sure what to think about it. It was an advertisement to come to a church that was on the other side of Baltimare. It was called...

It was called...

The First Church of Her Holy Majesty Princess Antares.

My breath caught in my throat and I shot to my hooves. I picked up the newspaper in my magic and folded it in half to better look at the advertisement. What I saw left no doubt in my mind of what I was looking at.

Come to The First Church of Her Holy Majesty Princess Antares this Sunday at noon. Our fair princess is a just and kind ruler, and it is our duty to worship her to bring honor to her. She was brought to us from a world far away, after which she ascended to the most holy goddess that she is now. Come to The First Church of Her Holy Majesty Princess Antares so you too can learn what it means to respectfully worship our beloved princess and become an Antarian.

...

...

So... uh... I had my own religion based around me. I wasn't really sure of what to think of that. I mean, back on Earth I had beliefs of my own, and the bible made it quite clear of having gods before the one true God, or trying to be like him. Let's also ignore all of the crazies who claimed to be gods themselves.

And yet there I was with a church based around me. I was many things, but holy doesn't even make the list. I knew right then and there that I had to check it out just to see what this was all about. I tore the ad out of the paper and walked out of my dining room after neatly stacking my dishes. Captain Blaze was guarding the door, sucking on a lollipop. He inclined his head in a bow when I came out and took the sucker out of his mouth. It was one of my cutie mark.

"Good morning, Princess. You get enough to eat?"

"Yeah, uh..." I flipped the ad around so that he could see it. "What do you know about this?"

Captain Blaze scanned the ad for a few seconds before shrugging. "It's a newspaper article about your church."

"Yes I saw that," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Did you know I had a church devoted to worshiping me before now?"

Captain Blaze shrugged and put the lollipop back in his mouth. "No, but it doesn't exactly surprise me. I know you're relatively new here so you wouldn't know, but alicorns tend to get their own religions." He shrugged again. "I dunno. I think it's kinda cool."

"Kinda cool," I muttered. I scoffed and shook my head. "Yeah. Uh... maybe I'll check out this church of mine today. Uh..." I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, trying to get my brain functioning again. "I'll be gone for a few hours, I think. Make sure everything runs smoothly while I'm gone, okay?"

Captain Blaze salutes me and nods. "You can count on me, Princess Antares."

"I know." I slowly began walking down the corridors of my palace towards my room. "I know."

It seems that I had some magic to perform. When I reached my room, I closed and locked my door behind me. It would take a spell that I had used once or twice to pull this off, but I knew that I could do it. Walking over to a nearby full length mirror, I ignited my horn and let the magic I was performing wash over me. My horn slowly faded from view until I was nothing more than a tall pegasus to pony eyes. I fixed the height issue next, leaving me as a normal pegasus pony. With another burst of my horn my ethereal mane and tail shortened and became normal red-orange hair. I changed my coat to the same color coat as Big Macintosh before finally changing the appearance of my cutie mark to a less ornate scorpion.

I was unrecognizable to anypony, which was precisely the point. Instead of Princess Antares I was now the pegasus Star Shine the Scorpionologist.

I pushed my room window open and spread my considerably smaller wings to take flight. If I remembered the address correctly, it would only take me about twenty minutes to get there. I hoped that I could spot it. I would hate to fly around for a while and not see it.

It turned out that I didn't have a problem spotting it. It was a relatively simple building on its own, but it was complemented by a white marble statue of me on the top, my wings spread and my head looking down on the street. When I landed and looked up at the statue, I noticed that I had a serene smile on my face. I could see the symbolism behind it. As Princess Antares I was looking down on my subjects and lovingly watching over them.

I gulped and noticed that the doors to the building were open and dozens upon dozens of ponies were walking inside. Upon further examination, I noticed that each and every one of them was wearing a red necklace with my cutie mark on it. That part nearly caused me to lose my nerve about going to this place. Again, as a guy who had beliefs of his own on Earth, this just felt... wrong. Blasphemous almost. I was here, though, and I knew that I couldn't turn back. If I did then I'd just come by next week to try and get in.

There was nothing else for it, I guess. I had to go in.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly walked towards the church. Near the doorway was a middle aged gray pegasus stallion with the largest my cutie mark necklace of them all. It was easily twice the size of the rest of theirs. He was greeting the churchgoers with hoof shakes and happy salutations, thanking all of them for coming. When I reached him, he gave me a warm smile and extended his hoof, which I shook.

"Hello there, Sister, welcome, welcome, I..." His gaze trailed down to my neck and his mouth formed an O of surprise when he saw that I wasn't wearing one of the necklaces. He held the face for a brief moment before his mouth split into an even wider smile than the one that he had before.

"Oh my goodness, do forgive me for calling you 'Sister,' madam." He bowed to me, something that just made me a little sicker. "My name is Father Snap Feather, and I'm the priest here at The First Church of Her Holy Majesty Princess Antares. This is your first time, is it not?"

I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face. No need to let him know how weird this all was for me. "Yes, yes it is. I saw the ad in the newspaper and wanted to see what this was all about."

"Well I welcome you, Miss..." He spun his hoof around, indicating to me that he was fishing for a name.

"Oh, of course. My name is Star Shine. I'm a scorpionologist here in Baltimare."

Snap Feather gasped, and his eyes widened with almost child-like joy. "Did you say 'scorpion?' You mean you bear the mark of our most holy Princess?"

I flattened my ears and took a half step back. "Well, I don't know about that."

"Well Princess Antares is the Scorpion Princess, yes? And you..." He pointed to my flank. "Have a scorpion cutie mark, much as she does." He seized my hoof and began shaking it again. "You are most blessed, Ms. Star Shine."

"Er..." I glanced back at the ponies in line behind me, all of whom were positively beaming at me. "Thanks?"

"No, no, the pleasure is all mine." Snap Feather bowed his head to me and pointed towards the rows of padded pews. "Please make yourself comfortable. The service will begin in ten minutes time."

I nodded and thanked him before finding a spot in a back pew away from most of the ponies attending. Most of them appeared to be from around here, as I recognized a fair few of them from when they had come to my court. Some were from out of town, as I noticed a small group of the ponies that I had rescued from the griffins chatting animatedly with each other in two of the front rows. Most of the ponies seemed to be parents, as there were a lot of foals in the crowd too. If a lot of these ponies weren't teachers, I'd eat my wings.

The decorations were... interesting to say the least. On the wall opposite me where the pulpit was, was a large version of my cutie mark besides a painting of me in the same pose as the statue on the roof of the church. All around me were similar paintings of my various exploits throughout my reign. One of me reading to foals in an elementary school, another of my triumphant army leading the captured ponies out of the wilderness of Griffonia, and another still was me on my coronation day.

After ten minutes, the doors to the church closed, and organ music began playing. I recognized it as a slow, organ version of In a Gadda Da Vida, which made me remember that I had transcribed my music to notebooks before my ascension back when I was still living in Ponyville.

Okay, so the day wasn't totally uncomfortable. That was pretty awesome.

After another few minutes, the organ stopped, and the pony playing the organ turned to Snap Feather and inclined her head in a bow, which he returned. He walked up onto the stage and stood behind the pulpit, now wearing white robes, save for my cutie mark on the flank of the robes. I was beginning to notice a theme here.

Snap Feather smiled at the crowd and gave a slight chuckle. "Well, good morning."

"Good morning," the congregation replied.

"It's lovely to see you here on this joyous Sunday morning, brought to us by our wonderful Princess Antares who watches over the good city of Baltimare. I see many old faces, but I see one or two new ones in the crowd today as well. To all of you I bid thee welcome, and Princess Antares does as well."

Yeah, well... heh...

"It is my dearest wish that all of you find the joy and hope in Princess Antares that I have, and indeed I know that many of you do. Today is my favorite day of the week." Snap Feather scoffed and rolled his eyes, much to my surprise. "Because the other ones when we don't get to come here to worship are so much better, right?"

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. Any religion worshiping me would have to have sarcasm in the services.

"Now before we begin our service, if you could all bow your heads." Snap Feather bowed his head and the congregation followed suit. "Let us pray."

And I nearly bolted right then and there. A sermon about me was one thing, In a Gadda Da Vida on a pipe organ was one thing too, but praying to me? That was terrifying. Not just because I wasn't sure what to do with it in a religious sense, but did these ponies expect me to hear them and grant their prayers?

Well, obviously I could hear them today, but the rest of the time I couldn't, I can assure you of that.

"Our dear heavenly Princess Antares," Snap Feather began, "we thank thee for watching over us while we go about our lives. We thank thee for being a just and fair ruler, and we pray for your continued reign both now and forever. Give us the strength to follow in our ways, O heavenly Princess Antares. May you give us the strength to be like you. Bless this service and our weeks going forward. Amen."

"Amen," the ponies, save for me, chorused.

"Excellent." Snap Feather nodded and raised his head, his warm, welcoming smile as wide as ever. "Now, then, as we take our offering to help the causes that Princess Antares champions such as foal services and education, I'd like to open up this time to any of you who wish to give your testimonies about our holy Princess Antares. After which we will sing some songs of worship and break for some refreshments before I get to my sermon.

That was it. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't be there for all of that. I was not a guy who really reacted well to flattery, so flat out worship was something that was too far for me. As the organ began playing a slowed down version of You Wouldn't Know, I quietly got up from my seat and walked towards the back door. I flinched when in the quiet the sound of the door opening might as well have been a cannon shot, but I had to get out of there. I chanced one last glance back and saw a teal earth pony at the pulpit, just about to speak into the microphone. What was worse was that Snap Feather had noticed that I was leaving and he was walking towards me, his kind smile still on his face.

He wasn't going to let me off so easily, it seemed.

Fleeing wasn't going to make me feel better, so I decided to let him say whatever he needed to say. I stepped out of the church and he followed behind me, gently closing the door so we could have a little privacy from the rest of the congregation. I turned to him and took a deep breath to steady myself. I almost wilted under his friendly smile. I couldn't find anything to be happy about myself.

"I'm not irritated, or anything, I'd just like to know your reasons," he said after a few moments or relative silence. "You came here but left after fifteen minutes. If you don't wish to say anything and just want to go home, I respect that completely."

"Er thanks, I guess..." I knew he was just trying to be friendly. He had no freaking idea that the pony he had devoted his life to worshiping was standing right in front of him, nor did I think that it would have been a good idea to tell him that. "I'm not sure about all of this, you know?" I said after a few moments. "I mean, I know the princesses are immortal and extremely powerful and all of that, but I've never thought of, you know worshipping any of them."

Can you imagine me worshiping Celestia? Wow, isn't that a picture?

Snap Feather nodded, his kind smile never leaving his face. "I understand, Star Shine. This isn't for everypony. I also realize that I might have been overbearing to you when I saw your cutie mark and for that I apologize. However, I do want you to at least understand why we do what we do." Snap Feather looked up to the statue of me and pointed to it. "We believe she watches over us; protects us from the evils that this world can bring. As a matter of fact, some of the ponies in there were rescued directly by Princess Antares from unfortunate situations, be it griffon slavery, abusive lives, or even poverty. We want to thank her for that." He looked back down to me. "Princess Antares has made Equestria an even more wonderful place than it was before she arrived from her home world. It is our belief that she was always destined to be who she is today, even if she was born in another universe and as another species. You just have to look to see what she has done for us here in Baltimare, heck, even in all of Equestria."

"Yeah,” I mumbled, my head down and my ears flat. "I guess."

"There's no guessing about it, Star Shine. Princess Antares has done some wonderful things, and we wish to thank her for that by striving to be the kind of pony she is." I looked up at Snap Feather and he was reaching into the front pocket of his robes. He produced a small box and offered it to me. "You don't have to take it if you don't want to, and if you never come back I will not think any less of you. We're all ponies, after all, no matter what we believe."

I slowly reached forward and took the box in my hoof. I didn't even have to look to know what it was, but I did anyway. It was one of the cutie mark necklaces. I looked back up at Snap Feather and he put a gentle hoof on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it if you aren't comfortable with what you saw. You are a pony entitled to her own beliefs. However, I do want you to think about what that necklace means for us, if just for a little while. It's just a suggestion."

"Okay," I muttered.

Snap Feather nodded before looking back to the church. "Well, I do have to go back into the service, Star Shine. I do hope to see you back, but wish you nothing but the best either way. Have a good day."

"Thanks." I shook his hoof and closed the box, putting it in my mouth to grab ahold of it. He went back inside the church to continue his services, allowing me to take wing to fly back to my palace.

I don't know how long I had been sitting there on the rooftop of my palace, one of the precious few places I could think, when she arrived. The moment I had reached my palace I changed back into myself and flew up to one of the flat rooftop sections that overlooked the city. The open box was in front of me, the necklace still perfectly placed inside. The faux-ruby scorpion shone in the sunlight, constantly reminding me of its presence.

And so I thought about... everything, I guess.

Eventually, as I said, she came. Celestia landed next to me on the rooftop and laid down next to me, gently draping a wing over my back. "I thought you could use the company after today."

I snorted and poked at the box without looking at it. "Yeah, I'm still not sure. I'm still not sure if any of today was real or if I'm going to wake up and find out that Sunday hasn't happened yet."

"I understand, TD." Celestia motioned with her other wing in the direction of Canterlot. "I have churches devoted to me as well, as do Luna and Cadance. Twilight and her friends are even revered as prophets amongst a few certain groups. Discord and Nightmare Moon have their followers as well. Canterlot is full of Celestians and Lunites. It's only natural that Antarians would appear as well."

"That..." I ignited my horn and, for the first time, lifted the necklace out of its box. "I don't know if that makes me feel any better. Not with what I'm struggling with."

Celestia frowned and tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"There was the priest, Snap Feather was his name, and he said something to me that's really stuck with me since I found out about my church." I took a deep breath. "'Princess Antares has made Equestria an even more wonderful place than it was before she arrived from her homeworld. It is our belief that she was always destined to be who she is today, even if she was born in another universe and as another species.'"

"And that bothers you?"

"Yeah." I gently placed the necklace back inside the box and replaced the lid. "It also reminds me of something that you said when you saw me in that place after I was blasted by the Elements. You said that all of this wasn't my destiny. What... what if you were wrong?" I closed my eyes and pushed the box away. "What if this was my destiny from the moment I was born? It makes me wonder..." I opened my eyes and looked over to Celestia, a little ashamed that tears were forming for me. "Who am I? What if TD Harrison Powell is nothing more than an adolescent cover for the real me? What if who I am, who I really am, is indeed Princess Antares?"

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Celestia tilted her head. "You have done wonderful things for Equestria, TD. Operation: Hearth's Warming Foal was a gigantic success, and I daresay if you disappeared tomorrow never to be found again ponies would still do it as long as there is a Hearth's Warming celebration."

"Yeah, see, and that's what's bugging me." I groaned and rubbed my temple. "That's a good example of me wondering about my destiny. That organization was based off of something that I did back on Earth a few times. It's pretty big over there too, and that's how I knew that it would work, but that's what I'm struggling with. Am I a good princess because I have Earth experiences to draw upon, or did I go through those Earth experiences because I was destined to become..." I motioned to myself. "This?"

I scoffed and stood up, a tight feeling welling up in my chest. Everything that I had been thinking about all day was bubbling up inside of me, screaming to get out. Well, with pleasure now that Celestia was there.

"Of course that brings up all kinds of other questions that I really don't want to think about, but at the same time have to. Stuff like, 'okay, I'm destined to be a goddess. Why me? What the heck does that make my family? Did my parents give birth to a god; someone destined to be worshiped in another universe?!'"

Celestia was completely silent, just staring at me with a blank expression on her face. Even so, I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes, making me wonder if she hadn't had the same thoughts once or twice. Of course, I wasn't done. Not by a long shot.

"So what does that mean for Twilight, then, if this is my destiny? You thought it was hers, but you were wrong, weren't you?" I snorted and began angrily pacing around the rooftop. "So everything that happened to her, everything that built up to the moment that she was supposed to ascend but I took the blast for her was really for me. If Nightmare Moon hadn't come about, then I wouldn't be here because there would be no need for Twilight to find the Elements. Same thing goes for Discord. I wouldn't be surprised if the Elements were viewed as prophets in my religion too!

"Heck, what about that Starswirl spell? That turned me into an alicorn. So was that just another piece of it? Another way for the universe to make me realize that my ascension has been millennia in the making? That the dominoes that began falling that ultimately led to this have been falling for longer than I'll ever know?"

I whirled around and faced Celestia, tears brimming in my eyes just as they were starting to brim in hers. "Who am I, Celestia?! Am I TD? Am I Antares? Am I both, am I neither? Was TD just a lie? A shell, a temporary setting for the real me?! Was I born Princess Antares all along, or did I cruelly steal the fate of another, however unintentionally?!" I growled and stomped my hoof on the ground, each blow punctuating another word. "WHO. AM. I?!"

The rooftop was completely silent as Celestia and I stared at each other. Finally after a minute she quietly sighed and wiped her eyes. "I don't know, TD. I wish that I had an answer for you. I wish that more than anything. I too have asked myself the same questions, particularly those regarding my student and her being chosen by the Elements. I thought that it was her destiny to rule Equestria by my side, but on the day of her ascension, the day where all of my hard work and careful planning was to come to fruition, I found out that I was very likely wrong about her and her life. We are both uncertain, TD. Very uncertain about all of this. However, I suppose that the ultimate question is this: what are you going to do with that uncertainty? How are you going to handle it?"

"I..." I let out a single sob and collapsed onto my haunches. "I don't know. I can't help but ask these questions, even though they scare the hell out of me."

Celestia gave me a small smile and moved over to sit next to me, once again wrapping a wing around me in a hug. "I know, TD. They scare me too. Do know this: you are not alone. You never have been and you never will be."

And so Celestia held me on that rooftop, neither of us really understanding, but both trying to stay strong despite the uncertainty. It was all we could really do, I guess.

Author's Notes:

No, this chapter isn't my critique of religion. I would appreciate it if comments in the story stuck to the actual story. Any flame wars will be deleted.

Worship

I can't help it. Somehow I'm drawn to it. Knowing there's a church out there dedicated to worshiping me is just something that I cannot get out of my head. I spent the whole week thinking about it, barely focusing on my day court unless it was something important. My guards did notice that something was off, but to their credit they didn't ask. I think that Captain Blaze knew what was bugging me anyway. I'm kind of transparent like that. I haven't quite gotten a hang of the stoicism and the poker faces that the other two alpha alicorns have.

So there I was, the next Sunday drawn back to my church like a moth to the flame. I was disguised as the pegasus mare Star Shine once more, and actually wearing the cutie mark necklace. I don't know why, really, I guess I would just feel out of place if I wasn't wearing it, but at the same time it would tell Snap Feather that I'm an Antarian, when in reality... heh, I'm the pony they're all worshiping.

So I left Captain Blaze in charge of my court once more, though I was thinking of implementing a rule where I don't have day court on Sundays period, save for major emergencies, and flew down to the church. As before, the churchgoers were filing into the church, while Snap Feather was standing in the doorway, greeting them all with a smile and a hoofshake, and maybe a pat on the head for the foals. I landed near the doors and began filing in with the rest of them.

When I reached the doors, Snap Feather naturally noticed me, and he fixed me with a beaming smile. "Star Shine, you're here!"

I sheepishly smiled and flattened my ears. "Yeah, well, I guess I'm drawn to this place somehow. I wanna keep investigating, you know?"

"Well I think that's wonderful," Snap Feather said as he shook my hoof. "And I notice that you're even wearing the necklace I gave you."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, I didn't want to seem out of place by not having one. Everypony else has one."

Snap Feather's smile faded and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Indeed?" I nodded and he gave a quiet sigh. "Star Shine, that's not the point of the necklaces. They aren't so that you can fit in; you wear them because they mean something to you personally. I mean I'm glad that you've come back to see more of what we do here, but I don't want you to wear that because you feel you have to otherwise we'll secretly judge you. Wear it because Princess Antares means something to you personally." Snap Feather's fatherly smile returns and he puts a hoof on my shoulder. "We don't judge here. We don't require that you 'fit in,' whatever that means. We're here to be a community in worshiping our glorious Princess Antares. We don't pressure ponies here."

A small smile crossed my face and my ears perked back up. "Well, I appreciate that."

"Think nothing of it," Snap Feather said with a wave of his hoof. "It's your right as a pony to believe what you want. You don't even have to go in if you don't want to."

I shrugged again. "Well, I do want to. Like I said: I want to get a better idea of what this is all about."

"Well then you are welcome here." Snap Feather bowed and pointed inside with a hoof. "Service will begin soon. I hope you enjoy it."

I thanked him and went inside, moving towards the pew that I had occupied the last time in the very back corner of the church. Given that I'm sure Snap Feather wanted everypony to feel involved, even the most obscure of pews was still pretty open. As a matter of fact, I found a family of five already there. I sat down at the very end close to the aisle. The father turned to me when I sat down, a wide smile on his face, and extended a hoof.

"Hello, there. I haven't met you before." I reached out and shook his hoof. "My name is Building Code. I make sure everything is up to snuff around Baltimare architecturally speaking. You are?"

"I'm Star Shine. I'm a scorpionologist."

Building Code raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "You study scorpions?" He gave an amused scoff. "Well then you are truly blessed to have the mark of our glorious Princess Antares! You study the creature of the Scorpion Princess."

I gave a nervous chuckle and weakly shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I do."

The organ music, which I realized was an organ version of The Number of the Beast, something that I found more than a little weird, stops, and Snap Feather takes his place at the pulpit. "Good morning."

"Good morning," the crowd responded.

"It pleases me to see so many of you here. I see many old faces, and one or two new ones, and to all of you I say welcome. Now let us pray." Snap Feather opened up the book that he brought up to the pulpit with him and bowed his head. "Our heavenly Princess Antares. We thank you for this glorious day and the protection that you give us. We ask that you bless this service and our weeks going forward. We pray for your reign forever, and that you help us follow in your ways. Amen."

"Amen," the ponies chorused.

"Right." Snap Feather turned his head down to the book and flipped a few more pages. "Now, if you could all grab your Liber Sanctus, I want to read a passage from The Book of The Element of Kindness." He cleared his throat. "Chapter four verse three."

I looked around and noticed that most of the ponies were pulling out a blue book of medium thickness with onionskin pages. I heard Building Code clear his throat, and saw that he was holding a Liber Sanctus of his own. He pointed to the back of the pew in front of me and I saw a few spare books on the back. I picked one up and glanced over at Building Code's book to see the page number of The Book of the Element of Kindness. I opened it up and flipped to the correct page, already feeling a little sick to my stomach.

"Now then," Snap Feather began, "is everypony there? Good." He cleared his throat and looked down at the book. "Chapter four verse three. Of all of the relationships that a pony is blessed to have in his or her life, sibling, marriage, parent-to-foal, or friendship, friendship is the greatest of these, as it provides the basis for the rest. We must strive to live by the tenets of friendship if we are to truly blossom and grow. These are kindness, generosity, honesty, laughter, loyalty, and magic. Even ponies who do not possess a horn are bound to the magic of the world, and the magic of friendship flows through us all."

Snap Feather closed the book and looked out into the crowd. "These words give us a wonderful direction for our lives. The Prophets of Princess Antares, the Elements of Harmony, who joined together in friendship to bring our wonderful Princess Antares to us, live by these tenets and are stronger for it. Their friendships are the most powerful in the world. It is those Elements that chose our beloved princess to ascend. The Elements do not choose lightly, and their wielders are surely her prophets."

Heh, yeah, well, I think they'd all have something to say about that.

A prophet in your religion? I guess that's worth some study. Maybe I can come to one of your services to see what that's all about.

A prophet? Me? Nah, Ah'm just a farmer, thank y'all very much.

Aw yeah! That's so cool!

A... what? Oh my... uh... *squeak*

Awesome! We can have prophet parties now!

Indeed? Well, no pressure on me, then! How is a prophet in your religion supposed to behave? Are there ceremonial robes of some sort that I have to wear? Though now that I think on it, it may be a nice increase in business.

Or something like that.

The thought crossed my mind to just... leave. I mean, Snap Feather wouldn't mind, I'm sure, and this was getting uncomfortable for me. Still, I knew it would be rude to just up and go in the middle of the sermon. Besides, if I wanted to know what was being taught about me then I would have to stay for one. Maybe I'd also keep a copy of my holy book to read, just to really get an idea of what this was all about.

Gaaaaahhh, I have a holy book devoted to me. This may sound completely crazy but bubguhfugfbfubu!!

But I digress. Snap Feather is still talking, so I have to pay attention to him.

"Now, there are difficulties in maintaining friendships, but our prophets have dealt with that too, as detailed by Prophet Twilight Sparkle's friendship writings shown in The Book of the Element of Magic." Snap Feather closed the Liber Sanctus and stared out into the crowd, some of whom I noticed were taking notes. "Now, if Princess Antares were here now, what would she say?"

She wouldn't say anything. She'd run around like a chicken with her head cut off and her mind blown, screaming about the pressure you're putting on her. But go ahead, I'd love to hear your perspective on what I'd do.

"Firstly, she might give some sarcastic quip about the nature of strains in friendship. She might then warn us of the dangers of letting strains fester until they shatter that most holy of bonds between ponies." Snap Feather walked out from behind the pulpit and stood in front of it. "But most of all, I think she'd ask us to help those less fortunate than ourselves, which we do in such ways as taking a tithe to donate to both the upkeep of our church and to the causes that our glorious princess champions. We also do so by donating more than just our bits, but our time. Volunteer at the local orphanages, get immersed in Operation: Hearth's Warming Foal when it comes around every year. Be a good pony by helping others. Be kind to the less fortunate, be generous with your time, be honest about your intentions, share the laughter in your hearts, and show loyalty to Princess Antares by living by her words and the words of her prophets. Do all of this, and the innate magic that flows through all ponies will unite us, and we will be the ponies that Princess Antares needs us to be."

Well, I guess I couldn't argue with any of that. Maybe? I guess? I hadn't really thought about how my actions could be turned into theology, but I did have to consider tightening up how I acted around ponies. If my actions were to be taken as sacred and perfect, I could get something across that I didn't really care to, and that would cause all sorts of problems.

Having said all of that, though, I didn't really know what they were teaching in the first place beyond the basic.

"Now, enough for the introductory sermon. It's time for the snack break, after which we will sing praise songs and tell of how Princess Antares has influenced our lives." Snap Feather motioned over to a table laden with food, and I'd bet my cutie mark that most of the food bore said image.

Man, I tried to make it farther than that, but after seeing my holy book I decided that I had enough for the day. I stood up with the rest of my followers but went towards the doors while they lined up for food. Just like last time, Snap Feather noticed me and began walking towards me, that paternal smile still on his face. I stopped just after reaching the doors and turned around just as Snap Feather walked towards them.

"Just wanted to get your perspective, that's all," he said as he reached me. "You went a little longer this time." He motioned with his head towards my right wing. "I see the Liber Sanctus interested you."

I looked down and flattened my ears when I noticed that I did indeed still have the book. I must have absentmindedly tucked it under my wing when I got up to leave.

"Er... sorry. I didn't mean to steal."

Snap Feather scoffed and waved his hoof at me. "No, no, think nothing of it, my dear. As a matter of fact, I was going to offer to let you keep it. I assure you we have plenty."

"Right." I took the book out from under my wing and stared down at it. "So... who wrote this thing? I noticed that The Book of the Element of Magic is made up mostly of Twilight's friendship letters which makes sense, I suppose, but what about the rest of them? The other Elements don't have that kind of thing, do they?"

Snap Feather shook his head. "No, but that's not to say that more than a few of them haven't spoken or acted publicly. What we know about them makes up six of the books of the Liber Sanctus, while Princess Antares' speeches and public deeds make up the seventh and final book."

"Okay, but who collected everything? Who decided what made it into the book?"

"The church elders mostly. There are about half a dozen ponies higher up in the church than I am, and they gathered everything and wrote out the rest."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Yeah, I think that I will keep this book. I want to see what this is saying about everything."

"Like I said, you're more than welcome to do that." Snap Feather put a hoof on my shoulder, his smile comforting. "I merely want you to understand what this is all about, and from what I know of you, you do as well, and I think that is wonderful. The best way to do that is to come to services and read from the Liber Sanctus. If you have any questions please feel free to come to me and I'll be happy to answer everything."

"Well, I don't have a ton of time to come here, so is it possible you could come meet me?"

Snap Feather nodded. "Most certainly. Just say when and where."

"Two o' clock next Friday. The royal palace."

"The palace?" Snap Feather raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "You work at the palace for Princess Antares?!"

A hint of a smile played at my lips and I shook my head. "Not work for."

"Oh, you just live there?"

I tilt my head in a single nod. "Yep. I've lived there ever since my coronation."

"Your coro..." Snap Feathers eyes widened and he let out a loud gasp. He dropped flat on his face and began raising his forelegs in a bowing motion.

I sighed and rubbed one of my temples. "You don't need to do that, Snap Feather. This conversation is just between us, and I'd like it to stay that way."

Snap Feather sprang up to his hooves, his head still bowed. "Yes, Princess Antares! I... I... uh..."

"Relax, you're not in trouble or anything. This is mainly to make sure that the doctrine you're teaching to these ponies is one that I agree with, and so far it's good." I gave Snap Feather my own comforting smile and put a hoof on his shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, if you've been as good to your congregation as you have been to me, then I'm sure this church is a wonderful place. I just need to check on everything, that's all."

"O-of course, Princess Antares." Snap Feather looked up at me, his eyes wide. "I will not be a minute late!"

I inclined my head in a bow. "I appreciate it. I look forward to meeting you." I extended my hoof and he took it, but instead of shaking it like I intended he kissed it. Well, whatever. Close enough, I suppose. "Goodbye. I will see you on Friday."

With that, I took wing, the Liber Sanctus in my mouth just as the box had been the week before. I was definitely going to give this a very thorough look through when I got back to my palace. This took my worship to a whole new level. Heck, I wasn't sure how I was going to break it to the Elements that they were revered as prophets in my religion. I had my guesses, obviously, but I could never tell with them.

I reached my palace and turned back into my normal form just as I flew through my window. I deposited the Liber Sanctus onto my bedside table, where I was sure to take a good look through it when I retired for the evening. With that finished, I walked out of my room where, Captain Blaze was waiting for me. He must have seen me flying through the window. He inclined his head in a bow.

"Princess Antares, the Element of Loyalty is here to see you."

I raise my eyebrow and tilt my head. "Rainbow Dash? What does she want?"

Blaze shrugged. "Dunno. She said something about a wedding and something freaky."

I pursed my lips and nodded. "Okay. Is she in my throne room?" Captain Blaze nodded. "Alright I'll go talk to her."

I went to my throne room and opened the doors where, sure enough, Rainbow Dash was pacing back and forth, her wings slightly extended and one ear twitching. She looked up when she saw me coming through the doors and gave me a half smile. I returned it with a full one of my own. "Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash. You need something?"

"Heh, sorta..." Rainbow Dash's wings fluttered a bit. "The weirdest thing happened to me and I was kinda wondering if you knew what it was all about. Uh, a couple of ponies came to me yesterday and asked if I could officiate their wedding. Said they were Antarians, or something like that. I thought that that was pretty close to your name, so I came here to see if you knew anything about it."

I nodded and gave Rainbow Dash a reassuring pat on the back. "Yeah, I do. It's nothing that you have to worry about, per se, but you might want to talk to the other Elements about this. It's just that, some ponies here in Baltimare founded a religion worshiping me and they're calling themselves Antarians."

Rainbow Dash nodded and folded her wings. "Okay. I guess that makes sense. I know Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have ponies who worship them too." The corners of Rainbow Dash's mouth curved down slightly. "So what does that have to do with me?"

"Well..." I gently cleared my throat and scratched the back of my neck. "Since it was the Elements who caused me to ascend, the Antarians... er... think of you and your friends as prophets in my religion. You personally have a whole section of my holy book devoted to you and the Element of Loyalty."

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened and her wings flared out to their full span. "WHAT?!"

Author's Notes:

Would have gotten this out a touch sooner were it not for this.

http://slicer4ever.deviantart.com/art/The-Manor-The-Flash-version-441112811

Also FimFiction went down for me, so I had to play Team Fortress 2 for a while.

(my Steam name is AntarestheWrathoftheStars for anyone interested in taking a sniper round from me.)

The Word of Princess Antares

Well, there we all were together again, the seven of us who started it all. Twilight and the Elements, I considered copyrighting the band name just so they couldn't have it, are standing right in front of me a mere day after I told Rainbow Dash that they're all prophets in my religion.

Their reactions were... mixed, to say the least.

I could sense a general air of confusion around them, letting me know that Celestia thought it best that they shouldn't be told that they were prophets in some of her religions. I decided to let that secret stay with her too. They were surprised enough as it was.

"So... lemmie get this straight, TD..." I turned my head to Applejack who had her hat off and was holding it to her chest. She was staring nervously at the floor. "Y'all have a religion devoted to ya, and we're prophets in yer religion?"

I nodded and levitated the Liber Sanctus over to me. "Yep. That about sums it up, I guess. Since the Elements caused me to ascend, and you wield the Elements, the Antarians see you as prophets." I opened up the Liber Sanctus to a random page in the Book of the Element of Magic which turned out to be Twilight's first friendship letter. "All seven of us have sections in my holy book devoted to us and our teachings; so for example, the Book of the Element of Magic is made up mostly of your friendship letters, Twilight."

"I see..." Twilight blinked once and stared at the book in my magical aura. I levitated it over to her and she took it into her own aura and began flipping through the pages. Her friends crowded around her to do their best to read over her shoulders.

"The... Book of the Element of Generosity," Rarity whispered breathlessly. "Oh my."

"Yeah, they read an excerpt from the Book of the Element of Kindness last time I was there," I said. Fluttershy squeaked and flattened her ears, her cheeks turning red. "I mean look, from what I've read so far it's fine, but I'm calling in the high priest next Friday at two 'o clock to discuss the doctrine if you'd like to join, seeing as how you're all, you know, deeply tied into my religion."

"Yeah..." Twilight blinked once and nodded. "Yeah, I think that I would like to be involved in that, TD. I mean, if it's mostly my friendship letters then I suppose that what he's teaching can't be too bad, but I guess I'd like to know the context of what he's using my letters in."

"Fair enough." I nodded. "So should I expect the rest of you too next Friday?"

The rest of the Elements nodded and I inclined my head to one of my servants who made a note of it. "Good. So, in the meantime, do you need to go or would you like to read the Liber Sanctus together to get a good idea of what it says? If you need to go I can have copies obtained for you if that's what you need."

"I think I'd like to read it and discuss it with you if you find that acceptable, TD," Rarity said. "It is your religion, after all, and I took the day off to come here and discuss... being a prophet."

"Very well." I snapped the book shut and beckoned them towards the library section of my palace where they all followed me in total silence. Yes, this was new to me too, so I could completely sympathize with how they were feeling. Though, and this might be a little narcissistic of me, I think I had a touch more pressure on me as the deity being worshiped. Still, they were getting offers to officiate weddings, so we'd definitely have to discuss that.

The next six hours were spent reading over every detail of the Liber Sanctus to see what the deal was with it. Twilight took fervent notes, of course, though there were enough of them to make up a second Liber Sanctus, and we discussed what the deal was. What we thought about it all. None of them really knew what to make of it. Even Pinkie Pie was uncharacteristically quiet as we read through it, though I knew enough about her to see the cogs working in her mind. She had some pretty interesting things to say about the Book of the Element of Laughter.

Overall, I think that the Liber Sanctus would need a second print, something that I was, admittedly, not looking forward to discussing with the Antarian officials who were doubtlessly coming to the meeting next Friday. I'll be darned if Snap Feather told the officials that he was meeting with me to discuss the Liber Sanctus and the church doctrine as a whole and they didn't demand to come. Well, they totally could. I welcomed it. I wanted to meet the... ah... well, maybe "puppet masters" wasn't quite the right word for it, but the people in charge. I don't know, I couldn't help but feel that my authority was circumvented a little bit because, you know, I had no knowledge of this church worshiping me.

Well, whatever the case, that would all change very soon. We'd see what changes my church would undergo in a short amount of time.

The meeting day came, and that saw me with Pinkie Pie and Co. in my meeting room, each with copies of the Liber Sanctus. I could see a copious amount of sticky notes jutting from Twilight's copy. I'd bet that she had re-read it multiple times over the past week and a half.

The room was fairly silent as we all re-read passages of the book of particular interest to us, waiting for our guests to arrive. Given that it was a quarter to two, we still had some time. It was Rarity who looked up from her book and broke the silence.

"So, we're going to be discussing church doctrine with these mares and gentlecolts, correct? We want to make sure they're saying everything right in our name."

I nodded and shut my own book. "Yep. That's the idea."

Rarity nodded in return. "I see. And..." She hesitated for a moment. "What if we don't like the idea of being prophets in your religion? What if we'd rather opt out of that particular, er, honor?"

I shrugged. "I think you'd have to ask them, but really, I think at this point we'd have to dissolve the whole religion for that to happen, and..." I sighed and rubbed one of my temples. "I'm not doing that. You, and in all honesty me, being uncomfortable is worth them being happy like they are, as long as they don't take it too far, which is exactly what the purpose of this meeting is. We're going to make sure that if we have to be deities and prophets, we're going to have them preach doctrines that we support."

"Er... one thing, though..." I glanced up at Twilight who has put down her book and is rubbing the back of her neck. "So, you became an alicorn and have your own religion around you. So if I had ascended instead of you, would I have my own religion too?"

I grimaced at Twilight and said, without hesitation, "yep. Cadance isn't an alpha alicorn, but she has Cadites that worship her."

Gonna be awkward when she dies, but they'll cross that bridge when they come to it I guess. Maybe they'll start worshiping her foals, especially seeing as how Shining Armor is also revered in that particular religion as her husband.

But I digress...

The clock struck two, and at that exact moment the doors opened, and Snap Feather walked in followed by two mares, one light green pegasus and a teal unicorn, all of whom were wearing white robes and the scorpion cutie mark necklaces. Each and every one of them stopped when they saw the seven of us around the table and go pale. I can see why. They just walked in to their goddess and their prophets all in one room. That'd be like walking into a room and seeing Jesus and all twelve of his apostles, all staring at you, only I didn't have a bad Judas.

I... think...

Maybe I should have kept a close eye on Fluttershy.

So yeah, Jesus and the apostles, and you all are going to talk about what's going to make it into the bible.

So yeah, I could see the pressure for sure.

The three ponies all bowed low and began, well, groveling is the only term I really have for it. Their stomachs were to the floor and their forelegs were moving up and down in a bowing motion. I glanced over at the Mane Six, all of whom were blushing and have their ears flat, save for Pinkie Pie who is just looking blankly at them. Yeah, it's time to get going. I cleared my throat and all three of them shot to their hooves.

"Mares and gentlecolt, it's a pleasure to see you this afternoon." I motioned to a group of empty chairs around the table. "Please. Sit."

"Yes, Princess Antares," All three of them said, awe in their voice. I knew that Snap Feather had spoken to me before, so I thought that he'd be a little less... "wow it's her," but I suppose not.

"Now, to business..." I motioned with my hoof and one of my most trusted staff members, a unicorn mare by the name of Tulip, came and sat at the table with enough paper and ink to rival some of Twilight's study sessions. She inclined her head in a bow to me and I returned it before looking back at the church leaders.

"Okay, let's start with some introductions. Snap Feather I already know, but how about you two fine mares?"

The two mares glanced at each other for a moment before the unicorn cleared her throat and looked at me. "I'm Elder June Star, Princess Antares. I'm one of the seven founding members of your church and the head elder."

"Good. Nice to meet you." I turned my head to the pegasus. "And you?"

"My name is Clear Morning," she said in a tiny voice. "I'm the church treasurer, Princess Antares."

"More of us would have made it, but this is the middle of the workday," Snap Feather said. "This is all who could come."

"I see." I shrugged with my wings. "Well, this is fine for now. Should we require more sessions then I'll be sure schedule more."

"Yes, Princess Antares," All three of them said in unison.

I flicked the ear not facing them in annoyance, but otherwise didn't acknowledge their words. "Now, then, we've all read over the Liber Sanctus..." I inclined my head to Twilight, "some of us multiple times, and I personally have to say that most of it's good. I'd say that the vast majority of it is. I just think my biggest issue is..." I grimaced and turned my full attention to the elders. "Why wasn't I told about this? I'd hate to spoil anything for the three of you, but I'm not omniscient. If a church springs up and I'm not told..." I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head. "Why wasn't I told?"

"Er..." Snap Feather exchanged an uneasy glance with the other two elders who looked just as unsure of how to answer that question as him. "Well you see, we thought..." He turned his head to me, but it was bowed, and he didn't meet my eye. "We thought that you... did know."

"Uh... why, exactly?"

"Well because..." Clear Morning flattened her ears. "Well, I mean, you're Princess Antares! You... er... well we did kind of think that there was a bit of omniscience to you."

"Okay, then." I motioned over to the Liber Sanctus. "So why didn't I get to have any say about what went into this book before now?"

The eyes of all three elders widened. "You did, Princess Antares! You really did!" June Star cried. "It is your teachings!"

"So why wasn't I told that a holy book was being written about me?" I shot a glance in the direction of the Elements. "Or them for that matter. Maybe I got a say, but did they? I mean, yeah, I can see why they would be viewed as prophets in all of this, but outside of Twilight's friendship letters, they might not have liked what made it into the Liber Sanctus."

I would have continued but I heard a whimper and turned to see Clear Morning's chin wobble. Drat. Before I could say anything, she flung herself off of her chair and crawled over to mine to begin groveling at my hooves, tears streaking down her face.

"I'm so sorry, o holy Princess Antares! Please forgive me for my transgression! We didn't mean to dishonor you by creating your place of worship and teachings in secret!" She grabbed one of my forelegs in a surprisingly strong grip and kissed my hoof. "Please forgive us!"

I glanced up at Tulip who was staring at Clear Morning with a raised eyebrow. The Elements were shifting awkwardly in their seats, meaning that I was the one who had to calm her down. I gave her my best matronly smile and patted her on the head.

"Do not worry, child. I'm not angry with you." I inwardly flinched at that for so many reasons. One, it's corny. Two, I just called her "child" when I'm hardly out of my teen years and she's probably in her forties. But figured that I might as well play up the matronly goddess bit a little. I tilted her head up, wiped her tears away with my hoof, and gently lifted her up off of the floor. She returned my smile with a watery one of her own and I led her back to her seat. She bowed low to me again and I returned it with a tilt of my head.

"Well," I said as I returned to my own seat, "as I said: I'm not angry with all of you. I'm just disappointed, I suppose you could say. I don't feel that the best way to honor me is to start a religion based around me and then not tell me what is being taught." I motioned to the Elements. "Nor do I feel that it honors them."

"Yes, Princess Antares," Snap Feather muttered, "of course, Princess Antares. We did not wish to disrespect you." Snap Feather, for the first time in a while, raised his head and managed to look at me. "If it pleases you: once we're done here and your doctrine is set in a way that pleases the seven of you, I do not think it oversteps my bounds to invite you to give sermons of your own whenever you like. That goes for all of you."

I glanced over at Fluttershy who has slid so far down in her chair that I can only see the crown of her head poking up over the top of the table. Yes, I didn't think that she'd quite enjoy the prospect of getting up in front of a bunch of ponies who revered her as a prophetess to give a half hour long sermon on kindness. She'd have trouble with that if they were Ponyvillians, but total strangers? Yeah, no on that one.

"So let me get this straight..." I glanced over at Rarity who was looking at Snap Feather with a look that was a mix of unease and incredulity. "You are extending an invitation to me and my friends to come to Baltimare whenever we desire to give sermons at your place of worship on our respective Elements?"

"Er..." Snap Feather paused for a moment. "Yes?"

"I see. Hmm..." Rarity blinked once and picked up her Liber Sanctus. "Well, then, I suppose I'd really better approve of what is in this book, then. I'm not saying that I will, but in the event that I do, I would like it to not conflict with what is presented here."

"And that's actually a nice segue into the whole purpose of the meeting." I illuminated my horn and flipped open my book to the ninetieth page. "Discussing what doctrine will and will not make it into the worship of..." I faltered for the briefest of moments. "Me."

"Yes, of course." Snap Feather cleared his throat and nodded to his fellows. "Yes, let us get to that."

"Good." I nodded at Tulip who raised her quill. "Now, chapter four in the Book of the Element of Honesty..."

Well, I had always figured that starting up a religion was time consuming, but I never had a hand, or a hoof, for that matter, in the process until now. Five hours later, the eleven of us decided to call it quits for the day, even though we were only halfway through the book. Still, I think that Applejack and Rarity were pleased that we got through their sections, and they liked the doctrines that we set for them. That also meant that the next time that we had a meeting they didn't have to come if they didn't want to, something that meant that they wouldn't have to move their already busy schedules around.

I closed my Liber Sanctus and stood up, causing the three elders to shoot to their hooves like soldiers standing at attention. I decided to ignore it, as I knew that I would need to get used to it and I couldn't make a big deal out of everything like that.

"Well, ladies and gentlecolt, I think we've made a lot of progress. I think that it would be a good idea to continue this next week if at all possible." I stretched my wings and cracked my neck as the elders bowed low to me. "Alright, I'll see you three later."

"Yes, Princess Antares," Snap Feather said. "And as I stated before: you are more than welcome to come to church to do a sermon."

"I just may."

Completely forgetting how he took that, I extended my hoof to Snap Feather who took it in his own, but kissed it instead of shaking it. Right. I had forgotten that he had seen it that way. I made sure to not repeat that same mistake with the other elders, instead choosing to put my hoof on their shoulders and bid them goodbye.

Once they were gone it was just Tulip getting her notes together and the Elements. I took a deep breath and turned to them. "So, what do you think about all of this?"

"Er, well..." Twilight scratched one of her forelegs. "It's kinda weird, obviously. The way that they kept looking at me like I was some kind of mythical creature was unsettling. It's almost like they didn't believe I was really there."

"Yes, they've kind of put the seven of us on a pedestal, that's for sure," I said with a nod. "But what about the idea of being prophets to them? I mean, you all found out because Rainbow Dash was asked if she would officiate a wedding between two Antarians. What do you guys think about something like that? I mean, if you want I can give you the power to marry ponies."

"Ooh..." Rarity's eyes narrowed, and one ear twitched. "Having the power to marry couples as a prophetess in a religion. That's... hmm." Rarity frowned and looked down at the floor. "That is quite an honor, I must admit. I'm tempted by the idea, but at the same time I feel that it might be overwhelming."

"Not all of you have to do it, of course. There are no set duties for any one of you just because these ponies see you as prophets." I shrugged. "Honestly, nothing has to change if you don't want it to."

"I... I think I'd like that, then," Fluttershy said to my lack of surprise. "I'm honored, I guess, but I think that this is all a bit much for me. I'm perfectly fine in Ponyville with my animals."

"That's perfectly okay." I surveyed the rest of them. "And what do you all think?"

"I'd like some time to think about it," Twilight said. "I mean, yeah, if they're going to see me as a prophet then maybe I should help them, and if marrying a few ponies every now and again does that and doesn't disrupt too much, then I think I could do that."

"Fine." I turned my head to Pinkie Pie. "What about you? You've been uncharacteristically quiet tonight."

"I guess," Pinkie Pie muttered. "It's just... I dunno. I feel like I should be excited that something that I did made all of these ponies happy, but at the same time it's still a lot of responsibility for me! I know I can be crazy and random a lot of the time, but I don't shirk responsibilities. I guess I still don't know if this is a responsibility or not. If I should make these ponies happy by going along with it, or disappoint them, but keep things safer for me, you know?"

I quietly scoffed. "You have no idea." I shrugged and waved my hoof. "Well, anyways, I don't expect you all to decide how much you want to get involved in this right now. Take some time to think about it. Let me know what you decide, okay?"

The Mane Six all gave nods and mumbles of agreement, and I motioned for a few of my guards to lead them out. I would have escorted them out myself, but I felt that I needed some "me" time. I took a deep breath and turned around to see Tulip stacking the papers she had been writing on. Given that we were writing theology for a religion here, she almost didn't bring enough parchment.

"Did you get everything, you think?" I asked her, my words slurring a little from exhaustion.

Tulip nods and puts her quill on top of the stack. "I think so, Princess. I'll get to work on making copies for everypony right away."

I snorted and waved my hoof. "Oh don't bother with that right now. Those can wait another day. Do them tomorrow and get a few more ponies to help you."

Tulip bowed her head. "Yes, your majesty."

I was about to walk out of the room when a thought struck me. I turned back to Tulip and tilted my head. "Say Tulip: you're somepony that I don't know quite as well who doesn't have as big of a stake in all of this as the rest. So based on all of that: what do you think of all of this?"

Tulip gave me an amused scoff and a wry smile. "Me and my whole family are Antarians, Princess."

Ah.

I nodded my head once and gently cleared my throat. "I see. So I guess you do have a bit of a stake in this, then."

"I guess you could say that." Tulip snorted. "My parents and siblings are going to go nuts when they hear that I'm helping write the final draft of the Liber Sanctus. Every night when I get home, my family sits around the fireplace and my father reads passages to us, usually from the Book of the Scorpion. My ancestors are from more desert regions, so we know about scorpions. It was tied pretty heavily into our culture out there. To have a scorpion princess appear..." Tulip shook her head and put a hoof on the notes. "Well, you can see why we would have joined up pretty quickly. It doesn't hurt that you're pretty good at what you do."

"You think so, huh?"

"No thinking about it, Princess." Tulip shrugged. "You've just gotta look around to see what you've done for Equestria. You may have had this job thrown at your head full speed, but you stepped up to the challenge."

"Well..." I gave my own shrug. "Glad you think so, but I'm going to do some relaxing. My usual spot on the rooftop in case you need to reach me for whatever reason."

Tulip bowed her head and illuminated her horn bathing the notes, quill, and ink in her cyan aura and levitating them. "Of course, Princess. If you want something to eat just let me know."

I waved my hoof. "I'll be fine. Just need some relaxing time, is all."

With that, I trotted towards the nearest window that I could open and flew out of it onto my usual spot on the rooftop of my palace overlooking the city. The night air was cool without being chilly, which, after being stuck in my conference room for five hours, was exactly what I wanted. I might have found it chilly as a human, but I will admit that fur does have its advantages.

I was not there for more than half an hour before I saw a speck of white on the horizon approaching my position. I smirked and sat up for her arrival. She'd do that sometimes: just show up randomly to see how I was doing, even two years later. I guess it was fine because she had Luna to talk to and I have... er... my guards. Not exactly a ponies who could really sympathize with what I was going through. I mean, well, Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids were going to grow old and retire or die someday and I was... not. The only other beings who could relate were Celestia, Luna, and Discord, and the latter was still in stone.

I know it sounds nuts, but I actually did grow to enjoy our little talks. Anything to talk to somebody who can relate to you, you know?

Celestia landed beside me and gave me a brief wing hug. "How are you today, TD?"

"Well enough, I suppose." I scoffed and motioned down to the interior of my palace with my head. "I spent the last five hours going over my church doctrine with the Elements. That was pretty... interesting."

"Ah yes, I remember doing that back when my first church sprung up." Celestia closed her eyes and a small smile appeared on her face. "My, my, that would have been roughly two thousand years ago, wouldn't it?"

"Making the church worshiping you the oldest, correct?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes, though Luna got one less than a decade later." Celestia cracked her eyes open and looked lazily in the direction of Canterlot. "I'm quite pleased with how that started up again less than two years after her return. I think it did her a world of good to be accepted like that again. As a matter of fact, it worked both ways. She put her fall into the church doctrine, showing that even she was not perfect and that it was okay to not be perfect." Celestia shrugged. "Well, she didn't say that it was okay that she fell to The Nightmare, but her point was that jealousy and rage can lead to terrible things, and that even the best of us aren't perfect."

I snorted. "Tell that to the Antarians. The reason they didn't tell me they started up my church was because they assumed that I was omniscient and already knew."

Celestia laughed lightly. "No, we most certainly are not that. Still, having them believe that does have its advantages sometimes, particularly in court rulings."

"Yeah, but when religions spring up about you it's annoying." I groaned and rubbed one of my temples. "This is one of those times when I wished that I had a private bar hidden up here. This is an alcohol day."

"Well, I may not be able to bring you a private bar, but I do have something..." I glanced over at Celestia who has lit her horn. After a few seconds, a wine bottle and two glasses pop out of thin air and hung there, causing me to raise an eyebrow. Celestia glanced over at me and smirked. "Some from my private stores. I have 'alcohol days' too, TD. I'd suggest looking for your own stock."

Celestia uncorked the wine bottle and filled up each of the crystal glasses until they were half full before floating one over to me. I accepted it with a word of thanks and took a sip, marveling at how quickly I had come to develop a taste for red wine since my ascension. Celestia took a sip of her own, and I heard a sigh of contentment from her.

"Mmm. Chapon di Trabu Manehattan 138 AD. My personal favorite."

I let my sip of wine sit in my mouth for a little bit before swallowing it and nodding in approval. "It is very good."

"Almost impossible to find, these days. With wine this old you have to find a winery with some unicorns who know some powerful preservation spells that at the same time know how to keep the flavor. That's ignoring the fact that it tends to be six hundred thousand bits a bottle when you can find it. Let's just say that sometimes I feel entitled to a little treat."

And she was right about it being old. The wine was made in 138 AD, er... After Discord. To put that into perspective. I ascended in 2238 AD. I was drinking twenty one hundred year old wine.

She was right, though, it was good. That's magic for you.

And so we sat in relative silence. I say relative because Baltimare is a city, so there's always going to be some noise, but it wasn't distracting. Celestia and I sitting there enjoying each other's company. Isn't that odd?

Huh... you know? I guess it isn't. Not anymore, anyway. I smirked at the notion, something that Celestia didn't miss.

"Something amusing, TD?"

I took another sip of wine before responding. "Nothing too amusing, it's just... well, you know how our relationship began. You tore me from all I knew and loved and I punched you in the face. Yet here I am more than three years later, a goddess princess of ponykind, and we're enjoying a glass of wine and each other's company. I just find that interesting given where we came from."

"Don't think that I haven't had similar thoughts, TD." Celestia took a sip of her wine. "I think it's that we have more to relate to now. We both understand more about each other."

"Well, more I understand more about you, I think." I raised my glass to her with a wry smile. "You haven't exactly gone through what I have, but I've certainly gone through some of the things that you have."

"Some," Celestia agreed with a nod, "though I pray you never endure some of the things that I have witnessed. Given our immortal lifespans, you will see horrors, TD, but you will also see some of the most amazing things that life is capable of." Celestia inclined her head to me. "Hopefully more of the latter."

"Hopefully." I took a deep breath and looked out into the city. "But I know I'm gonna see some of the former too." I grimaced as though I had a foul taste in my mouth. "I already have, come to think of it."

"And that is why we have rooftop talks, TD, so we can unwind after long days of hardship, or even to let each other know that there is somepony out there that understands." Celestia finished her wine and poured herself another quarter glass. "I talk with Luna about this all of the time, of course, but I know that you need this too. You need it as much as I do."

I smiled and tilted my empty wine glass, allowing Celestia to fill it up a quarter ways. "Maybe I should come to Canterlot for one of these things, then. We can drink wine on some Canterlot Castle rooftop."

I didn't need to look to see that Celestia's smile had widened ever so slightly. "Yes, I'd like that, TD, and I know that Luna would as well. She keeps saying that she doesn't see enough of you. We all have to stay connected if we are going to help each other through this."

"I don't doubt that." I took a deep breath and looked out again into the city where the majority of the ponies had gone to bed for the night. I clicked my tongue and ran a hoof through my mane. "Celestia?"

"Hmm?"

"Do they ever... frustrate you? Just the ponies in general, I mean. Do they ever make you feel overwhelmed, like baby chicks constantly screeching with their mouths open, begging their mothers, us in this instance, for worms?"

Celestia chuckled and took a sip. "Like I said, TD, I have alcohol days too. While I care for each and every one of my little ponies dearly, sometimes..." I heard Celestia's wine glass clink when she put it down next to her, and for the first time in a long time I saw a hint of a frown on her face. "Sometimes I just want to lift them up, smack them silly, and say 'for your own good you are going to do exactly what I tell you to do from here on out. You want to be completely safe and happy? Then you'd better keep your ears open for my orders and follow them exactly, because only one of us knows exactly what that entails. You think I'm running a fascist dictatorship? You think I'm a tyrant? Very well, give me a month and I'll show you exactly what a tyrant really is!'"

I gave an amused smirk. Figures that even her frustrated ranting would be rather restrained compared to mine.

"You think that you could do better? Well then come on up and try it for two days. Try dealing with cutthroat nobility who are also in many cases ungrateful in every way imaginable, while trying to keep twenty million ponies happy, housed, fed, safe, and warm, while also dealing with morons like Aepent who can't even keep his problems on his side of the rotten border!" Celestia groaned and, to my surprise, took a swig of wine directly from the bottle. Not a small one either. When she was done, she let out a deep breath and wiped her mouth with her foreleg. "And then to top it all off I have to constantly present myself as a perpetually kind and benevolent ruler. Some days I just have to fake it." Her gaze flickered up to me, and her smile returned, albeit smaller than before. "Do not mistake me as false, TD. It is as I said: I love my little ponies. I am no more faking my happiness at being around them than you are faking yours when a foal comes to your court asking for a few bits for a school play..." Her smile flickered. "Ninety nine percent of the time."

I raised an eyebrow and put my glass down. "Ninety nine, huh?"

Celestia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Very well. Ninety seven." She waved a hoof at me. "Suffice to say, there are days when I envy you those moments with the foals. I still get them from time to time, but you are most certainly the princess of foals, TD."

"Hmm..." A hint of a smirk crossed my face. "Never thought you would envy me anything."

"I've always envied you something, TD." Celestia grimaced. "Not you specifically, but I do have a slight envy for those with simpler, quieter lives. I would hear tales from Twilight about how you would be peacefully fishing by the lake, or playing tag with the foals, and I would close my eyes and imagine what that would be like. For a moment... I would envy you. I would envy you and I would sometimes covet those peaceful times you got to have whenever you desired." She copied my smirk. "Envy may be my most shameful of flaws, though certainly not my only one. It may not have manifested itself in quite as extreme a way as Luna, but I do not delude myself for a moment by not thinking it is there."

"It's hard to think of you as having flaws." I motioned down to the city below. "At least, from their perspective. They see all of us, except Luna, I guess, as perfect." I quietly scoffed and drained my glass. "In the religion I practiced before coming here, there were seven deadly sins." I tapped my lower jaw thoughtfully. "Let me see now. There was gluttony, lust, sloth, covetousness, pride..." I smirked and pointed to myself. "Wrath." I tilted my head to Celestia. "And envy."

"Ooh, gluttony. That's another one that I struggled with in the days of yore." Celestia chuckled and shook her head. "You think my cake addiction is bad now?"

"Sloth for me." I put my wine glass down in front of me next to Celestia's. "Anything I wanted to do I could, but I never really wanted to. And now I'm a goddess princess." I snorted again. "Funny how life works out."

Celestia pushed the bottle of wine towards me, but I shook my head and waved it away. She nodded in return, and, with a flash of her horn, it and the glasses were gone.

"So, anything else you'd like to talk about, TD? Any other frustrations or amusing anecdotes that have arisen since last we spoke?"

I sighed as I tried to think of something, but couldn't. My new religion was taking up most of my thought process these days, and life had been going fairly smoothly. I shrugged and shook my head. "Life is just kind of going. After two years I think I'm starting to get the hang of things."

"TD, you don't get the hang of things after two years. I've been ruling for thousands, and hopefully I'll be ruling for tens of thousands more, and I still wonder whether or not I completely understand the job."

"It's more than just raising and lowering the sun." I looked out at the sun, staring at it on the horizon. Being an alicorn, I could stare straight at it and not be damaged. "Though I still don't know if I could do that."

"Well, you don't know until you try it."

I raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her. "Huh?"

Celestia pointed at the sun. "It will be time to lower it in about ten minutes. Why don't you try it for tonight? If you don't get it then I'll take over, of course."

I flattened my ears and looked down at the ground. "Uh... I don't know about that. I mean, the sun is kinda your deal, isn't it?"

"Yes, well, the moon was 'kind of Luna's deal,' but the time arose when I had to take control of it for a time." Celestia gave me that maternal smile of hers and put her wing on my back. "Come now, TD. It's not that difficult for an alpha alicorn. After two years of this you're more than strong enough, I assure you. There's no harm in at least attempting. It will not explode if somepony else tries to lower it."

"Er..." I glanced back up at the sun and began silently ruing that it didn't set of its own accord. I mean, just earlier today I was discussing my own religion, and now I'm lowering the sun. No pressure on me. Still, I gathered that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. I sighed and nodded. "Fine. I'll try."

"Excellent!" Celestia folded her wing back at her side and nudged me to my hooves. "Now, then, what you have to do first off is relax. You will not lower the sun wound up like a foal's toy."

Despite myself I let out a single laugh at that, which did help. I relieved some of the tension in my chest.

"Now, then, just close your eyes and feel, TD. Feel the world around you. As an alpha alicorn, you have an innate connection to everything, even if you are unaware of it. Once you can feel everything, I think that you will be able to find the sun."

"Okay."

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I began tuning out the city noise until it faded away completely, and all I heard was the sound of silence. Slowly my body began to feel like it was floating in a swimming pool, but without the water. There was a certain density to the atmosphere. I reached out with my mind a little more, and I felt it.

Well... more I felt... everything.

I felt each and every individual pony, every tree, pebble, brick, bird, pet dog, squirrel, I felt it all. But the greatest shock came when I reached out even more and felt... well, she was right when she said that I would be able to find the sun. I could sense the size of everything that I felt, and the sun was the most massive thing around. It was larger than anything by a measure that I can't even begin to describe. And then a single thought entered my mind.

Lower.

I ignited my horn and felt my aura wrap around the massive sun, willing it to push down to make way for the moon. Inch by inch the giant crawled lower in the sky, and I felt my spirit soar as I realized what I was doing.

However, as I continued lowering, I realized that it was slowing down. I frowned and poured more energy into it, but that only made it come to a complete stop. I began to panic. My mind raced as it went through the possibilities of me having permanently stuck the sun in the sky. I panicked so much that my horn went out and my eyes snapped open, revealing that I was still on the rooftop of my palace in Baltimare. Celestia still had that maternal smile on her face.

"For a first effort that was not bad at all."

I looked out to the sun and saw that it was halfway down the horizon. Yeah, I guess it wasn't too bad for a first try moving a freaking star. I turned my attention back to Celestia who had her eyes closed and her horn alight. The sky grew steadily darker by the second until all the land was covered in the blanket of night. It was not more than a few moments before the moon raised in the sun's place.

"I suppose it realized that you weren't me." Celestia clicked her tongue and shook her head. "No matter. We have time, I think."

"Yeah..." I frowned and tilted my head as a thought struck me. "So... where does it go? I've never gotten a straight answer on where the sun and moon go when you two move them. To the other side of the planet? I mean, it doesn't seem like that. You're lowering them."

"TD..." Celestia chuckled and put a hoof on my shoulder. "I may be the sun princess, but that is the one thing about my charge that I do not know. You ask me anything else about it and I can tell you, down to how hot the center is, but I do not know what happens to it when I lower it."

"Interesting." I shrugged. "One of the mysteries of life I guess."

"Indeed it is." Celestia took a deep breath and stretched out her neck. "Well, TD, this has been fun, and we should do it again, but I must return to Canterlot." She smiled at me and put her wing over my shoulders. "I had a wonderful time, TD."

"Yeah, I did too, actually." I put my foreleg over her back. "It's nice to have somepony to talk to who gets it, you know?"

"More than you understand, TD. At least for right now."

With that, Celestia leaned in and nuzzled me right on the cheek, something that was surprising but... not unpleasant, I guess. I mean, it's a common friendly gesture, and, odd as it was, Celestia was my best friend right now.

"Well, I must be off." Celestia folded her wing and straightened up. "You take care, TD. Don't hesitate to call me for anything you might need."

I gave her a small salute. "Same to you, I guess."

Celestia nodded, spread her wings, and took off back to Canterlot, leaving me to fly back to my room, reflecting that, all things considered, I had a really weird life. Not bad weird, but definitely weird.

Author's Notes:

I didn't think this chapter would even make three, maybe even two, thousand words.

Heh... I was wrong about that.

I was going to have this end with TD and Celestia passionately making out, but then April Fool's Day ended.

The Sermon of Princess Antares

I just had to relax

Breathe in. Breathe out. I had done this a million times. I was a princess and had literally spoken in front of a crowd of twenty thousand ponies before for three hours.

And yet this crowd of roughly a hundred freaked me out. I mean sure, these ponies weren't going to attack me, but in a way that was worse, they were just going to be disappointed if I failed to amaze them in every way. These ponies were worshiping me, after all.

So yeah, I had taken up Snap Feather's offer of doing a sermon for the church. It had been three weeks since the first meeting of the Liber Sanctus, and we had met twice since then, once with the rest of the church elders. Only Twilight was there all three times, though Pinkie and Rainbow were both there for the second. As a matter of fact, both Rainbow Dash and Twilight stood next to me. Rainbow Dash actually had her mane combed for once, and was wearing a plain gray suit with a black tie, of all things. Twilight had her mane in a bun and wore a teal dress and one of the cutie mark necklaces. As for me, I decided to go with my normal regalia. Ignoring the fact that I still wasn't comfortable wearing dresses, I didn't feel like I needed to wear anything else. It would do.

I waited in one of the back rooms of the church with the two Elements, wait, no, prophets and fidgeted where I stood, while Twilight paced around behind me, her cutie mark necklace bouncing against her chest as she moved. Rainbow Dash sat silently next to the room's window, staring out at the city.

I took a deep breath and cracked my neck before turning to the two of them and giving them my best attempt at a smile. "How are you two?"

Twilight stopped pacing and looked over at me, giving me her own weak smile. "Oh, you know, I'm just about to walk into a room filled with Celestia knows how many ponies who see me as a prophetess in your religion. So, I suppose you could say I'm a touch nervous."

"Just a touch," I snarked back. "You haven't stopped pacing since we got in here."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Twilight grimaced and flattened her ears. "I just don't really know what to do with myself. I mean, you're the one who's going to be doing all of the talking, so I'm just here for moral support, otherwise I'd be going over the sermon over and over again." Her weak smile shifted until it had a hint of wryness behind it. "And I think I've read the Liber Sanctus enough, no offense to you."

Before I could respond I heard Rainbow Dash snort, and I saw her giving Twilight a smirk with her forelegs crossed. "Never thought I'd see the day when you said that you were done with a book, Twilight."

Twilight rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. "Just because I happen to have a fondness for books, doesn't mean that I can read every single one of them always and forever. Besides, this particular book has me as a prophet, so that's... a little different than a Daring Do book, Rainbow."

Rainbow Dash shrugged and went back to staring out the window. "Can't argue with that, I guess. But yeah, we gotta be here for TD. This is hard for him too, I guess. Harder for him. He's the pony they're all worshiping."

"Maybe." I shrugged. "If they see you as prophets and revere you, is that a form of worship? I'm not quite sure yet, especially not for them." I grimaced and shook my head. "In any case, you haven't read the final draft of the Liber Sanctus, I'll bet. Nopony has. I'll bet my wings that this little sermon here is going to make it in that book."

"Whenever it starts," Rainbow Dash said with a hint of a growl. "Seriously, how long is it going to take for him to introduce us?"

"Be patient, Rainbow." I walked over to the door and swiveled my ear towards it. "The organ music has stopped, and Snap Feather is talking, so I'd say any minute now. He's going to pray, say one or two quick words, then we're going to go out."

"Okay." Rainbow Dash got to her hooves, and both she and Twilight walked over to me. "Let's do this, then."

Twilight and I nodded, looked at each other, then with perfect synchronicity said, "any suggestions?"

Both of us flattened our ears and looked down at the ground, while Rainbow Dash groaned and facehooved. "Dang it, we are so screwed. One of us is gonna say or do something stupid."

"No, I really doubt that, Rainbow." I cleared my throat and my ears perked back up as I tried my best to center myself. "If anypony is gonna get screwed today it's me. I'm the one who has the opportunity to make this into a complete disaster." I grimaced again and looked back to the door. "They see me as omnipotent, which, as I think we all know, I most certainly am not. I decided not to put that in the sermon today for obvious reasons, but I think that what I have is good enough to get us through today. You two just have to stand there. I'm going to give my sermon, then we'll leave, okay? Well... er..." One of my ears twitched. "That or we'll stay and greet my worshipers. I'm not quite sure yet. I've never made it through all of one of these. Needless to say, you two don't need to stay any longer than you feel comfortable."

Rainbow Dash vigorously shook her head and floated in the air so she could cross her forelegs. "Nope, we're staying as long as you are, TD. We're ready to leave when you say."

I couldn't help but give a small smile at that. I reached out a hoof and gave Rainbow a small hug. "Thanks, Dash. Element of Loyalty indeed."

Dash rolled her eyes, but the slight smirk on her face showed me that she liked the appreciation. "Yeah, yeah, don't get all mushy on me, TD."

I turned my smile to Twilight and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "And the same goes for you too. I know this has to be hard considering, well, everything that's happened in the past two years, but I really appreciate everything that you've done for me."

Twilight's weak smile returned, though slightly stronger than before, and she came in for a proper hug that I happily returned. "Anytime, TD. You're my friend, and it is my honor to help you, princess of Equestria or no."

"Thanks, Twilight. Thanks."

The door behind us opened, and Snap Feather poked his head in and nodded to us. I returned it, and all three of us took a few deep breaths. I turned around to face the door, and Rainbow Dash and Twilight moved to flank me. I turned my head to each of them in turn.

"It is time, Frodo."

Twilight and Rainbow Dash each gave me a confused look, and I smirked at them. "Just making a joke to calm my nerves." My smile falls and I flutter my wings. "Let's do this."

I moved forward and, despite an irrational part of my brain screaming at me to do otherwise, I walk into the main hall of the church to stand behind the pulpit.

The effect was immediate.

The second the churchgoers saw not only their goddess but two of their prophets, a great cry went through the crowd, and almost everypony got on their knees and began bowing to me. Needless to say, it was incredibly awkward for all three of us. I mean, Snap Feather is one thing, but a hundred of them is something else entirely. I cleared my throat, and every single one of them froze, their eyes on me, not a single one blinking.

"No need for that, my children." I raised my hoof and smiled warmly at them. "I'm here to give the sermon today. I'm not here to punish you for anything. You may take your seats."

A wave of "yes Princess Antares" went out, and each pony sat down, their eyes never leaving me. I continued my serene smile and adjusted the microphone on the pulpit so that it was on a good level. "Now, today I will be talking about what you do when life hoofs you something that you're not quite sure how to deal with." I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Believe me, I'm an expert on the subject." A token few ponies chuckled at that, which gave me a bit of a confidence boost. "Now, I understand that life can be difficult. You can never truly plan for anything with one hundred percent certainty. When I lived on my home world, I had plans that I would graduate college, get a teaching post in a small town, marry a nice girl, maybe have two or three children, and life would go on like that." I gave them a small smirk. "As you can see, that's not how it worked out.

"As you all know, I was brought here to Equestria, ruining every single one of those plans, so I readjusted. I got a job in Ponyville as a worker for the town, taught the Ponyville foals about my world, maybe planned to get a degree in teaching so that I could teach foals full-time, and so on. Then the Elements of Harmony caused me to ascend, and those plans were completely destroyed as well. For the second time in around a year, my life took a completely different turn than I had anticipated, even after the first change."

I started to feel more confident as I talked. The words flowed more naturally, and the nerves faded away as each of them listened with rapt attention. They weren't booing me off of the stage, so that made me feel a lot better.

"Now, a change in your plans can mean a lot of different things: it can be something as simple as you want to go on a picnic and it starts to rain so you have to eat indoors, or it can be as complex as you're a window washer who gets blasted by magical artifacts and changes species and ascends into a goddess princess of all ponykind. What separates ponies is how they react to those changes.

"Now, obviously not all changes are bad. A pony could plan on having to work overtime for a month to pay rent and then he or she gets a major promotion that means that they don't have to do that anymore. It's easy to react positively to those changes, because we feel that life has smiled down upon us, and we're better off than before. But what about those bad changes? What about the ones where it starts to rain, or you lose your job, or the simple life you led that you loved is completely turned upside down and you find yourself with a lot of responsibility that you don't know how to handle?"

I paused for a moment to materialize a glass of water that I took a deep drink from. As well as this is going, my throat is getting a bit parched, and I need a tiny break. Once the glass is empty, I make it vanish and clear my throat.

"Now, I'm not going to say that you're a bad pony unless you meet it head on with a smile on your face and determination in your heart, though that is certainly not a bad way. It is completely one hundred percent okay to be disappointed, sad, or even angry when life hands you a change or a challenge to your plans that ruin what you expected or wanted. Those are reasonable equine emotions, and nopony should blame you for being mad that you got laid off because your job is downsizing. The problem comes when you let that consume you; when you can't let it go because you're so upset or mad that something that you deem unfair happened. Nothing will come of that, and you cannot adjust to what life throws at you.

"Finding positives in situations when your plans change is a very good way to cope, though I know that can be very hard sometimes. I will admit, that sometimes things happen that just are not fair. Somepony who does half the work with half of the dedication will get the promotion because he's friends with the boss. Some loophole will let the wrong side win in a lawsuit. Life can be difficult, but that doesn't mean that it is impossible to weather.

"Adjusting is an important part of weathering the storm. Sometimes it takes a little bit of effort and sometimes it takes a lot. The rain ruined your picnic? Well, set up a tent inside your living room and have the picnic in there. You got passed over for the promotion that you were expecting? Reflect on why that might be." A wry smile crossed my face. "You go from dishwasher to alicorn goddess? Use the resources available to you to get through. There will always be ponies willing to help, which brings me to my next point.

"One of the key themes in the Liber Sanctus is friendship, and for good reason. It is the key idea that keeps the Elements of Harmony together. It is my friendship with the Elements of Harmony, the other Princesses, and even my staff and snarcasti-guard at the palace that helps me through the time when I don't know where life is taking me and I feel that I cannot plan for what lies ahead, even though I would love to. So too do I urge you to form those bonds and connections. Ponies cannot do, well, life alone. From the very moment that we are born we form connections with our parents, and maybe even siblings that we may have.

"Form connections. If life gets you down, relish those moments where you have a beer with the guys at five every Wednesday. Go have lunch with your marefriend and tell her how much you love her. Be there for each other, is what I'm saying. Nopony can endure life alone, and with twenty million ponies in Equestria, nopony has to."

Time to wrap up. They're all still listening with complete attention. I think it's going well, but I could finish up and have ponies start saying "maybe I'd better convert to Discordism instead."

That would be awkward.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and continued.

"Plans are flimsy things at the best of times. Nopony truly knows what the future brings. Not even me, I'm sorry to say. Sometimes life throws things at you that you are not prepared for, but not all is lost when that happens. Take heart that there are ponies around to support you, and I urge you to support other ponies going through hard times." I inclined my head in a small bow. "Thank you."

The entire church was dead silent as I finished my sermon, something that caused that uneasy feeling to well up in my chest again. This whole thing hinged on their reaction to it. I mean, I liked it, but if they didn't then that was a different story.

Turns out that I didn't need to worry.

After fifteen seconds of silence one pony began clapping, and that opened the floodgates. Each and every pony shot to their hooves and began cheering and stomping so loudly that I began to wonder if an earthquake wasn't going to go through the church. I looked over to Snap Feather and saw a huge smile on his face and tears of what I can only assume to be joy streaming from his eyes. Rainbow Dash walked up behind me and poked me on the side, causing me to look down at her. She was smiling, and I smiled back.

"I think they like you, TD."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, maybe just a little."

"Definitely a good sermon, TD," Twilight said, coming up on my other side. "You're really a leader to these ponies."

"Yeah..." I looked out into the crowd, neither my smile nor their stomping and cheering having wavered in the slightest. "I suppose that I am."

That evening found me back on my usual rooftop spot.

I still couldn't really believe how well it had gone, even though I had been going through that day over and over again in my mind. I kept looking for some flaw in everything to fixate on, but there wasn't really anything that I could think of.

Snap Feather all but assured me that, with my permission, that sermon would be making it into the Book of the Scorpion in the Liber Sanctus. I expected nothing less from him and gave my full permission. I mean, I wasn't going to just give that sermon then say that he couldn't use it.

Twilight, Rainbow, and I didn't stay for the rest of the service, instead choosing to hang out in a cafe not far from the church with me disguised, but we did go back to the church to greet the churchgoers as they were leaving. I got a lot of bows and I kissed a few foals on the head, but nothing that I hadn't been dealing with since my ascension.

Overall, I'd say that the day went exceptionally well. I'd have to go back and do another one. I know that Twilight said she was thinking about doing one for herself.

Huh, me getting involved with my own religion. I didn't see that coming, even when I found out about it.

As I stared out into the horizon, I once again saw the speck of white flying towards me. No doubt she heard about today and wanted to talk about it. Well, with pleasure. I was always willing to talk with her by that point. I scooted over a few inches while she flew closer to me, and I saw that this time she brought the wine and glasses to start. Well, it wasn't necessarily an alcohol day, but I wasn't going to complain. She landed next to me and gave me a wing hug and the two of us exchanged a nuzzle.

"Good evening, TD. How are you?"

"I'm doing well." I motioned with a wing towards my church. "I gave my sermon today."

"Yes, I was there." I raised my eyebrow and looked over to her, and saw that she had a mischievous smile on her face. "You may not have noticed, but there was a pink maned pegasus mare in the back named Sunny Skies. She..." Celestia chuckled and poured the wine. "She quite enjoyed your sermon."

I gave an amused scoff and took the wine glass she offered me. "You tricky little alicorn goddess."

"Well I couldn't very well miss that, TD." Celestia shrugged and took a sip of her own wine. "The matter of your religion makes you uncertain, and I wish to help you through that uncertainty." I couldn't help but notice a twinkle in her eye when she spoke next. "Something that I think your words extolled, did they not?"

I snorted and drained my glass. "Yes, yes I suppose that they did."

"I want you to know that I'm very proud of you, TD." Celestia set her wine glass down and put her hoof on mine. "You are not the same pony that took the throne those two years ago in all of the best ways, and it most certainly shows. I foresee you being an even greater princess than you already are, and you are a great one. If misfortune befell us all and you vanished, history would look upon you with great reverence."

"Probably not as much as you, I'll bet."

Why wasn't I moving Celestia's hoof? For that matter, why did I nuzzle her?

Celestia chuckled, and she didn't move her hoof either. "TD, you mustn't compare yourself to me. I've been ruling longer than you could comprehend, but I can say without a doubt that if I had to choose between my start as a princess and your start as a princess, I would choose yours."

"Well that's comforting."

No, I wasn't being sarcastic, that was comforting. It's nice to know that you're not screwing up in every possible way when you're ruling a nation. Believe me, when you have as much power as I do, you can screw up in every way imaginable, and tons of ways you didn't imagine. To hear Celestia, a veteran who had been doing the job for thousands of years, say that I was doing something right was nice.

Why wasn't I telling her to take her hoof off of mine?

"Uh, Celestia?"

"Hmm?"

I cleared my throat and looked down at our touching hooves. "So maybe I'm reading too much into this, but you've had your hoof on mine for a few minutes now, and I was wondering--"

I was cut off when I felt her kiss my neck.

Well, that didn't leave any doubts at all. I mean, yeah, it was just a little peck, but... yep. No doubts.

I snapped my head over to Celestia, who had taken her hoof off of mine and was furiously blushing, something utterly impossible to hide with a snow white coat.

"I'm sorry, TD," she whispered. "I overstepped my bounds. You may be my best friend, but that was too much."

"I'm not mad, Celestia. You're my best friend too." I glanced over at the bottle of wine and floated it over to me. I took a quick swig and scooted closer to Celestia. "I didn't really... mind, I guess."

So I gave her a quick peck on the neck.

Now it was her turn for her to snap her head over to me, her eyes wide as dinner plates. "TD? Are you sure?"

I shrugged. "Haven't been totally sure of much over the past three years, but, uh..." I put the wine bottle down. "Given our natural alicorn tolerance for alcohol, I'm going to guess it's not that, so if we end up regretting it we have nothing to blame it o--"

My words were cut off when she tackled me and pressed her lips against mine.

I opened my eyes and raised my head off of my pillow, smiling when I heard the birds chirping. I slid out of my bed and stretched my forelegs and my wings out. The sun was shining over the land, and I had some day court and appointments to get ready for. Well, if they were as successful as yesterday then I was going to have a good day.

I went over to my bathroom and got into the shower. I was running out of my favorite shampoo. I'd have to tell my staff to get a few bottles more. You would not believe how much shampoo a pony of my size goes through in even as much as a week. Having said that, my ethereal mane and tail were self-cleaning. That was pretty cool.

I turned off the water and dried myself with a quick spell before heading back out to my room to make my bed and put my regalia back on before breakfast.

Only, I found somepony already lying on my bed.

A large white celestial somepony on my bed.

Uh...

Somehow I think she sensed that I was standing over her, and she woke up. She turned over in bed and looked up at me, smiling her trademark smile at me. "Good morning, TD. Has the spell worn off yet?

"Spell?" Somehow that was the trigger word, and everything came rushing back to me. I glanced between my legs before looking up at her and nodding. "Uh, yes, yes it has."

Celestia clicked her tongue and sat up in my bed. "Pity. Well, I suppose that we can always just... uh..."

Something clicked for her, and her smile faded and her eyes widened. She blinked once and brought her hooves up to her mouth. "Oh dear," she whispered.

I grimaced. "Just hit you, huh?"

"Well, I think I just began realizing the ramifications two of Equestria's princesses in a relationship."

I nodded as a few of those began running through my mind. "Yeah." I continued nodding and looked out the window, and noticed for the first time that there was a storm on the horizon. The pegasi had scheduled a rainfall for today, it seemed. "Yeah."

Author's Notes:

Now no, I'm not making the TDlestia ship a HUGE deal (like "we now need a romance tag") but it's there. I guess I figured that I could justify it because, well, I've built up and strengthened their relationship in what I think is a realistic way. So for those of who who may not be a fan of the idea, there is going to be a lot more to this story.

This story is going to be loooonnnng.

Morning After

So, all that... happened, I guess.

Had I seriously just done that with Celestia? I mean, not that I didn't love her, and all, but I thought that it was just as my best friend and not as a lover.

Having said that: er... it was good. That's ignoring the fact that it was nice to be male again, if only for a little while.

It was, ah, actually a fairly old spell for the activities we did last night, but nobody had figured out how to make it permanent. I would have just kept casting it on myself, but it only lasts for a few hours, and my two awkward options with that boiled down to "why Prince Antares, your voice just got higher and more feminine all of a sudden right in the middle of Day Court!" or "excuse me, gentlecolts while I go make sure my spell to keep myself a male doesn't wear off."

But enough about that. Really, enough about that. Really, really enough about that. I still had to deal with Celestia sitting on my bed and the fact that I had just started up a romance with her; something that I never, ever, ever, ever thought that I of all people, or in this case ponies, would do!

But I just did, and... I wasn't averse to the idea in principle, but it still hadn't completely registered yet.

I cleared my throat and scratched the back of my neck, not really wanting to make eye contact with Celestia. "Well alright, then. I guess two of Equestria's goddesses just... did that."

Celestia nodded. "It would seem so." I glanced up at her and I saw a hint of a smile on her lips. "And I must say, it was a good night for me."

I returned her hint of a smile with one of my own. "Yeah, me too, I guess." I took a deep breath and finally managed to look up at her. "I'm just surprised that it went that... fast. I mean, one minute we're having wine on my rooftop and the next we're making whoopee in my bed."

"Well, I'm sure you've at least suspected this, TD, but alicorn emotions and desires tend to be more... extreme." Celestia sighed and pulled my covers over herself a little more. "It's one of the reasons we have to be so guarded about what we're thinking and feeling. You experienced this with your first case of foal abuse. Do you recall that?"

"Yeah."

"You would not have normally gotten so angry, I suspect. It was the fact that you were an alicorn and now had the emotional state to go with it." Celestia's mouth formed into a slight grimace. "It can lead to major problems beyond just an explosive temper. Such emotions were why The Nightmare was able to manipulate and feed off of Luna so well. It played to her more extreme emotions." Celestia shook her head and waved her hoof. "But not all of them are bad. I didn't say that only our negative emotions and feelings were more extreme. All of them are, including..." That hint of a smile returned. "Lust, desire, and love."

Once again I copied her smirk. "Makes sense to me."

Yeah, I had noticed that I had more extreme emotions since my ascension. Celestia mentioned it once or twice in passing, but never really focused on it. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's not like you to give into your baser desires, particularly emotions, Celestia." I scoffed. "Do I just bring out the worst in you? We got in that fight after I ascended, after all."

Celestia chuckled and shook her head. "Oh, it's healthy to indulge the Id every once in a while, TD. Keeping feelings bottled up without acting on them in some way can be damaging, depending on how powerful they are."

"Sounds reasonable enough." I shrugged with my wings and sat down next to my bed. "So, then, we have a romance with each other, despite the fact that three years ago we both would have punched the person or pony in the face who would have claimed that possible." I opened my mouth to speak more, but something caught my eye. I frowned and leaned forward a bit more to examine some discolored spots on Celestia's coat. They looked like... bruises. I raised my eyebrow and looked up at Celestia, who only kept smiling at me.

"What can I say, TD? I suppose even in romance, with you old habits die hard." Celestia leaned forward and licked my cheek. "I didn't mind at all."

I groaned and facehooved. "Throes of passion, it seems." I rolled my eyes and waved my hoof. "At any rate, what do you suggest we do now?"

Celestia's playful smile faded ever so slightly, and she pushed the covers off of her. "Well, we both have day court soon, so I suppose that I should be leaving. Do you mind if I borrow your shower before I leave?"

"No, go right ahead." I got to my hooves and walked over to the stand in my room where my regalia rested. "I have to get to breakfast before I go to court, otherwise I'd see you out. If you want to join me that's fine. I don't have court for another half hour or so."

"I'd love to, but I must go back to Canterlot if I'm to make it there in time for my own court." Celestia got off of my bed and stretched her wings. "Well, this was excellent, TD. We must do it again."

"Uh..." Hmm. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to do it again. Yeah, it was great and all, but the political ramifications, and, heck the religious ones too, would be pretty severe. Two of Equestria's goddesses are in bed together! Gosh, the papers wouldn't let that one go... ever.

On the other hoof, I sacrificed how much for those guys?

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, definitely. Just tell me when and where and we can have dinner together sometime."

"I'd most certainly enjoy that, TD."

With that, Celestia walked into my bathroom to use the shower, and I slipped on my regalia before heading on out to my dining room to get a quick meal before court. If I remembered my schedule correctly then my day wasn't going to be horribly busy, but I wasn't going to be lounging in the free time, either. It was shaping up to be an average day, something that I found myself grateful for after the events of the previous day. As good as last night was, I was hoping for a quiet day.

A sure sign that one wouldn't happen, but hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

I walked into my dining room and found that Lieutenant Rapids was on escort duty for today. She bowed as I sat down to get my meal in. "Good morning, Lieutenant Rapids," I said as I put some pancakes on my plate. "Did you sleep well?"

"I didn't, actually," she replied.

"Really?" I put some syrup on my pancakes and began cutting them up. "Why is that?"

"You and Princess Celestia were too loud."

I froze with my fork halfway to my mouth as her words repeatedly echoed in my brain. As snarcastic as my guard is, one of the first lessons I gave them was to be snarcastic about the truth whenever possible. The comment bites more that way. So I knew better than anypony that she wasn't just guessing about me and Celestia doing something. If she made a comment like that, she knew about it.

I slowly lowered my fork and looked over at Lieutenant Rapids who was staring at me, her expression perfectly neutral. "You, uh, you were on leave last night, weren't you?"

She nodded. "Yes, Princess Antares."

"And you went to visit your family on the other side of Baltimare, right?"

She nodded again. "Yes, Princess Antares."

"And Princess Celestia and I..." I blinked once. "Kept you up?"

She nodded again, never even blinking. Even though I had trained them personally, I was impressed with how neutral even her voice was. "Yes, Princess Antares. One of the gems that I heard was 'Yes! Punch me harder, big boy! Ooh punch me real good!'"

"Oh for..." I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Now I know you're lying."

"As you wish, Princess Antares."

I rolled my eyes and went back to my pancakes. "And you weren't working last night, so how did you find out?"

"Because two full-sized alicorns, one of them pure white, flying through your bedroom window and giggling like schoolfillies isn't really something that escapes the notice of a watchful and vigilant guard." For the first time since we had begun talking, the barest traces of a smirk appeared on her lips. "Nor the fact that she hasn't left yet."

I blushed, something that is hidden a little better by my coat than Celestia's, and flattened my ears. "Well, she's leaving soon. She has court of her own to attend to, so she'll be getting to that. She might have left already." I waved my hoof and went back to my pancakes. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. "This doesn't get spread around, okay? Whomever knows does not tell under penalty of termination, got that?"

Lieutenant Rapids bowed. "Yes, Princess Antares. I personally will not add gasoline to the wildfire, and I will tell others who know not to either."

Once again my fork froze halfway to my mouth, and my pupils shrank down to pinpricks when her words registered with me. "Uh... how many ponies know?"

"I'd say about all of the staff and all of the guards, Princess Antares." Rapids shrugged. "You weren't very discreet. Or quiet. I wouldn't worry, though, we're not going to spread it around outside the castle."

"No guarantee of that," I grumbled.

Man, I can see the headlines now. I really, really, don't want to, but I can. This is the kind of thing that has ramifications for a long time, because princesses can never really do anything for themselves. I grimaced, dropped my fork on my plate, pushed it away, and stood up. "Not hungry. I'll be starting court in ten minutes."

The trace of a smile that Lieutenant Rapids had fell, and her own ears flattened. "Uh... I'm sorry, Princess Antares. I didn't mean to hit a sore spot. If you want I can send out an order to make sure that it doesn't get talked about at all."

I nodded once and began walking towards the door to the dining room. "Good. See that you do. Tell the soldiers to tell the petitioners that I'll be ready to see them soon."

Lieutenant Rapids bowed low again. "Yes, Princess Antares. And I apologize again."

I waved my hoof at her. "Don't worry too much about it," I grumbled.

Did I mean to be such a grump about the whole thing? No, and I really didn't like taking it out on Lieutenant Rapids in any way, but at the same time I had just started a physical, romantic relationship with Celestia, and now pretty much my whole palace knew because we forgot to put a sound spell around my room. A mistake that we would not be repeating, thank you very much.

Man, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or anything, because last night was great, but come on, when am I going to catch a break longer than a few days? I finally get used to my life in Ponyville? I ascend. I find love? It gets spread around my palace like a virus. My relationship with my marefriend couldn't just be between the two of us like it should have been because we were arguably the two most important ponies on the planet, it had to be known by my entire staff and guard.

Well, I guess I just had to remember what I said in my sermon, or something like that. I gotta keep moving forward. I couldn't think about it right then at any rate. I had court to deal with, and that was going to take up a fair chunk of my day. I could think about it more when the two of us had some free time to talk about it.

Court was boring.

Yeah, big shocker, but it dragged on a little more than usual today. There weren't as many ponies coming to see me, which gave me a little time to read a few of the local newspapers that I had my staff pick up. Nothing on me and Celestia, and believe you me: if the press did know, even a totalitarian dictator controlled country that dictated every single word that the press printed wouldn't have been able to keep that quiet. Our relationship was safe for now. It actually did me some good to find that out. It really meant that my staff was loyal to me, and that Lieutenant Rapids had successfully convinced everypony to keep it quiet. Not that they would have disobeyed a direct order from me anyway.

But yeah, even when I had ponies in my court, I just heard things about the .01 percent increase in corn taxes, or the recent rise in griffin expatriates, or whatever. I didn't really care. It was just one of those days.

Thankfully the time came for my lunch break, and by that point I had gone roughly ten minutes without any petitioners, so the doors to my throne room were closed. I stood up and yawned, stretching out my wings and forelegs as I did.

"I'm taking my lunch break now, Sergeant Stones. Any petitioners will have to wait until I'm done."

Sergeant Stones saluted me with his wing. "Yes, Princess Antares. We'll let anypo--"

He was cut off when the doors to my throne room burst open, and I caught a glimpse of midnight blue. However, the force of the doors opening was so great that they hit the walls they were beside and promptly slammed shut again.

Silence filled my throne room as each of us stared blankly at the door, wondering if we had really seen it open. It opened and slammed shut again in the span of about half a second, so we weren't really sure if we had imagined it. Eventually one of the guards guarding the door shrugged and looked at the other one.

"Gesundheit."

I snorted and stepped off of the dais of my throne, my eyes never leaving the doors. "Hello? Is somepony there? My day court is over for right now, so if you could..."

The doors were engulfed in a dark blue glow, and this time they were slower to open. Given the midnight blue flash I had seen, I suppose that I shouldn't have been surprised to see Princess Luna on the other side of the door. I do admit being a touch unnerved by the look of utter fury on her face. Gone was any trace of the playfulness or warmth that she usually had around me. Gone was the relaxed demeanor that we alicorns had when we got together. All of that was replaced with wings flared out completely, and a glare made of pure steel pointed directly at me. Her teeth were even bared to complete the picture.

Two guesses as to why she was so mad at me, and the second one didn't count.

"Antares." When she spoke her voice dripped with venom, and she stomped into the throne room. Her hoofsteps had such force that I began to wonder whether or not they would crack the floor. "How dare thou violate Our, no, my sister in such a manner?"

Looking back, it's a source of pride that I hadn't so much as flinched yet. When I first ascended, Princess Luna stomping towards me with the wrath of the moon behind her would have caused me to run for the hills with my tail between my legs, but I hadn't even blinked yet.

Luna stopped just in front of my throne and stared at me as if trying to get me to drop dead on the spot. Well, good luck with that, Luna. Being an alicorn meant that I had a higher resilience to that kind of thing. But I figured that if she wasn't going to leave then I should at least humor her. I gently cleared my throat, walked back to my throne, and sat down on it. I don't doubt that she caught the clear power play, but I found it necessary, let me tell you.

"I didn't violate your sister, Luna. It was completely consensual between the two of us." A wry smile crossed my face. "In fact, I'd say that she came on to me a little more. She kissed me first."

Luna growled and snorted steam, but didn't comment on my remark. She instead turned her attention to Sergeant Stones. "Leave us. Take the others in this hall with you."

I shot to my hooves and flared out my own wings, all trace of humor gone from my voice and more than a hint of sharpness in it instead when I spoke next. "Yes, they should leave us. They should leave us, and the next time I come to Canterlot and see some ponies from your Night Guard on duty, I'll order them around!"

"This is not for them to hear, Antares!" Luna snarled. "This is between us!"

"Maybe, but you do not get to order my guard around any more than I can tell your guards to clean my castle toilets, and you know it!" I folded my wings and sat back down on my throne, neither of our glares fading. "They're staying. Say what you have to."

"Very well." Luna's own wings folded, and her eyes narrowed a little more. "What makes you think that you can bed my sister? She may have instigated it, but you were both foolish if you did not consider the ramifications of it! If word got out that one of Equestria's princesses was bedding the other, there would be an outrage!"

I took a moment to put a sound spell over the hall. Just had to make sure.

"Your sister is a grown mare who is perfectly capable of making her own choices, Luna," I retorted. "I would think that after thousands of years you would know that."

"A grown mare with responsibilities and an image to uphold, Antares, as are you!" Luna snapped. "Laying with my sister is not a consequence-free thing!"

"Clearly," I muttered, rolling my eyes," I'll get you after me."

I was playing with fire, being snarky with her when she was like this, but I didn't care to humor her. I had already dealt with enough grief without getting more from Luna because she decided that I acted rashly.

And sure enough, she didn't appreciate it. Not only did she look even angrier, but I even saw a few sparks fly out of her horn. I suppose that it all harkens back to what Celestia said earlier about alicorns having more extreme emotions.

"Antares, thou art young yet, so mayhap thou dost not understand the ways of the world." Luna took another step towards my throne. "You two are not peasants, and We are not some angry older sibling chiding you for making out behind the barn! The ramifications of your actions last night could ripple out for decades! Everything everypony thought that they knew about the both of you could and will completely change overnight if they hear that you two are having intercourse!"

"Oh what, you've never done this? You've never had a casual night of sex?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes again. "I've read the history books, Luna. You and Celestia had whole harems of ponies for just that purpose. Besides, what we did last night wasn't casual, it was love."

"The harems are a thing long past!" Luna stomped her hoof on the ground and that time I'm pretty sure something did crack. "Even before my banishment, neither of us had one for over a hundred years! If you had truly read the history books you would be aware of such a thing."

I groaned and facehooved. "Fine. Fine. That's long past. But the fact remains that just because we're alicorn princesses doesn't mean that we can't do it at all." I sighed and rubbed one of my temples, doing my best to center myself so that I didn't say something else that was stupid. "Look, you'd have to be an idiot to not see that Celestia and I have become best friends over these past few years, right?" Luna tilted her head in a nod and I returned it. "Right, so is it so wild to think that, our past aside, it's blossomed into a romance? That we've actually grown to love each other because not only are we best friends, but that is something that we frankly both desperately need?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're ponies, Luna. We're made for equine interaction. You were born with an innate need for deep, meaningful connection. Even though I was born human, it was the same thing for me." Good. Luna seemed to be calming down. She wasn't playful or smiling, but she seemed to not want to strangle me. "That mostly manifests itself in friendship, and I think that we can both agree that the friendship between two ponies not related is different from the one between two ponies that are.

"You and Celestia have a relationship that I could never match with her, but at the same time there are needs that it doesn't fill. Sure she can have friendships with other ponies, but... those other ponies are going to grow old and die. I'm not. Even Twilight, whom we all know she loves like a daughter, isn't going to be around forever, but, lord willing, I am. I get to be that deep friendship that she needs. I'm not going to wither away. I'm not going to die. She gets to create a connection with a pony outside of her family, and for the first time in her life she gets to keep it."

I sighed and closed my eyes. Not for the first time in my reign did I want to just go to bed, but I still had more of the day to do. If nothing else I had to convince Luna that I wasn't a horrible princess.

"Look, was it the one hundred percent right thing to do? Probably not. Should we have been more discreet? Definitely there, and we'll be sure to be more careful the next time." I opened my eyes and looked up at Luna, who wasn't glaring at me anymore. Her expression had turned neutral. "And make no mistake, Luna. There will be a next time. We're not going to stop getting together, and we're probably not going to stop sleeping with each other, and in all honesty, I'm not sure you didn't know that. You know the both of us really well. You would know that we wouldn't stop if we didn't want to, so why bother coming all the way to Baltimare to chew me out?"

Luna didn't answer for a few seconds. She just stared at me as though she was trying to look right through me. Eventually she took a deep breath. "We suppose We acted rashly when We found out. We thought to try to talk some sense into you, Antares, but We see that We cannot."

"That's not all, Luna, and you know it. You burst in here and accuse me of violating her."

Luna sighed and nodded. "Yes, We suppose that We are also slightly protective of her as her sister. 'Tis not as though you two are married, after all, and there are certain social norms that We are accustomed to..." Luna shook her head and waved her hoof. "'Tis unimportant in the end, We suppose. We can only caution you to be careful about how you go about it. Should word get out, there will literally not be a single sapient being on the entire planet who will not know."

"I understand, and I think she does too." I frowned and leaned back on my throne enough to cross my forelegs. "I think you're forgetting that this is a two-way thing, Luna."

"No, We have not forgotten that." Luna fluttered her wings and scratched the back of her neck. "We have had talks with Tia about this as well."

"Is that how you found out?" I tilted my head. "I don't think that she would brag about this to you."

For the first time since she came in here, a hint of a smile crossed Luna's face, and I think that I might have even heard a bit of a chuckle. "Tia can hide nothing from Us after these many thousands of years, Antares. The morning after intercourse she always has this bounce in her step. It's a unique one, so We know that We cannot misinterpret it. Considering that We saw her flying to your palace last night, t'was not difficult to put two and two together."

"Makes sense, I guess." I shrugged. "Well, I guess that's all I'm willing to say about it. Celestia and I love each other and we're going to keep doing what we're doing, but we will be more discreet about it."

"We can ask nothing more, We suppose."

Before Luna could do anything else, Sergeant Stones snorted and gave a single chuckle. "Man, you just got owned."

Luna frowned and her glare returned. "If thou sayest that to us one more time, we shall--"

Luna was cut off when the door slammed open once more, and Twilight Sparkle of all ponies burst into the room with an expression suspiciously close to the one that Luna had.

"I just came from Canterlot and overheard Princess Celestia talking with Princess Luna! TD, how dare you sleep with Princess Celestia! She's... she's..." Twilight stopped right in front of my throne and glared at me. "Well, she's Princess Celestia!"

Luna gave a pained sigh and extended a wing, which she used to begin herding Twilight out of the room. "Leave her be, Twilight Sparkle. 'Tis a matter between Antares and Celestia."

Twilight's rage melted away, and was replaced with surprise at being pushed out of the room by Luna. "But Princess Luna, I didn't--"

"We have already discussed it with her. That is all you need know."

"Er..." Twilight blinked once and looked back at me, and I smiled serenely at her. "Okay, I guess."

Happy Birthday, Princess Antares

Another day court over for now, another lunchtime upon me.

I walked out of my throne room and into my dining room, where Captain Blaze was on duty. He saluted me, and I nodded back at him. "Good evening, Captain Blaze. Having a good day so far?"

"Today is completely uneventful, Princess Antares," Captain Blaze said with a nod. "Nothing to report here except that the chefs went all out with your lunch today."

I smiled and sat down at my normal spot at the table, where a covered plate rested. "Excellent, Captain. I look forward to seeing what they have in store."

"I think you'll be surprised."

The top of the cover was engulfed in Captain Blaze's fiery orange magical aura, and he lifted it off of the plate to reveal...

Steak?

My eyes widened, and I snapped my head back to Captain Blaze, who grinned at me. "Figured that you might enjoy it, Princess Antares. I know that you had carnivorous tendencies back when you were a human, so we figured that you deserved a treat."

"Uh..." I turned my head back to the steak and blinked once. "I..."

Steak. Juicy, wonderful, perfectly cooked steak. I could see the seasoning resting perfectly on the flawlessly brown outside, just like I remembered it from home. Oh, it seemed to me like my day took a turn for the better. Nevermind that as an herbivore I would probably get sick from doing this, but they had made this for me, so there I figured that I might as well eat it. I mean, when does something like this come along? I picked up my knife and fork, and speared one of the strips of steak with the fork before cutting into it.

Oh, yeah. Whomever cooked this did a spectacular job. The knife cut through the flesh with little resistance, and my mouth began to water. Maybe my alicorn biology meant that I had a resistance to this kind of thing and could eat steak. Yeah, that's right, I had alicorn powers and whatnot! I could probably eat this no problem! I mean, I had to keep it under wraps and all because a carnivorous goddess wouldn't look the best, scorpion symbolism notwithstanding, but for now I didn't have to worry about that. I could just enjoy my tasty, wonderful amazing meal.

A small piece separated from the rest, and I picked it up with my fork and brought it closer to my mouth. Oh yes, time for goodness. Time for juiciness. Time for steak.

"Time to get up."

Huh?

"Enjoying yourself, Antares?"

My eyes snapped open, and I saw none other than Luna staring down at me, a hint of a smirk on her face. It didn't take a genius to figure out who had engineered this little dream of mine. Not that Luna was allowed to be in my room in the first place!

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Luna and I just stared at each other, neither of us so much as making any noise while breathing. This was a huge breach of my privacy, and there was no way that Luna didn't know that. I knew that this couldn't be a dream either, because I had just woken up from one, and I'm horrible at lucid dreaming. No, Luna stood above me in my room, having just given me a dream about eating steak.

Finally, I took a slow, deliberate breath, and blinked once before speaking in a flat voice.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Now she could have responded with an explanation. She could have responded with an apology, as she was not allowed in my room anymore than she was allowed to order my guards around, and she knew this full well. She could have even shrugged and flew off.

Instead she materialized what turned out to be a bucket of ice water and, with no shortage of internal glee, I'm sure, proceeded to dump the contents on me, drenching me to the bone with frigid water.

Now, I don't care what anypony heard, but I did not "screech like a mare discovering her first wrinkle," as Luna would later put it. Nor was it "so shrill that bats would have no trouble hearing it." If ponies outside of my room heard it that way, I'm sure that Luna casted a spell on my door so that any noise that I made sounded like that.

I rolled out of bed, dripping wet from the icy assault, and tangled in my sheets. I struggled in vain to get out of it, but after a few seconds of watching me squirm, Luna ignited her horn and unwrapped me, that insufferable smile still on her face. My face, on the other hoof, let her know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was the farthest thing from amused. If we could weaponize my glare, Equestria would already be a more hegemonic power than it already was.

I was a touch wroth, is what I'm trying to say.

I slowly reached up a hoof and wiped a little moisture from my face. Luna and I never breaking eye contact. I took another short breath before speaking in the same slow, deliberate voice. "Luna?"

Luna's smile widened almost imperceptibly. "Yes, Antares?"

I gently cleared my throat. "May I... may I ask what the Tartarus is wrong with you?"

Luna's smile shifted to a frown, but it was no less mocking, and she looked to my bedsheets. "We fail to see what thou art referring to, Antares. Your bed hast been made and dried. There hast been no damage done that We have seen." Luna smiled and a twinkle appeared in her eye that I did not in any way care for. "Save for your easily bruised pride, it seems."

I growled and shot to my hooves, but Luna anticipated my move and flew out the open window she had presumably came through. I ran towards it, stopping just as I reached it.

"Just wait until I get to do your birthday prank, Luna!" I screeched, shaking my hoof at her as she whooped and did loops just outside of the range of my magic. "I swear on the stars that Celestia will laugh every time she so much as thinks of the letters L-U-N-A when she sees what I've done to you, you... you... BLUEBERRY!"

You know what's nice? Having a filter between your brain and your mouth. It spares embarrassment sometimes. It also spares being at the complete and total mercy of an Equestrian princess.

Luna stopped flying around, choosing instead to hover in front of my window. That mocking smile was back on her face in full force, and I completely failed in my attempt to restrain myself from shifting nervously. She had me, and we both knew it full well.

Luna took a slow, deliberate breath, and flew a little closer to my window. So close that she could touch me. "Antares, didst thou just call us a... 'blueberry?'"

I gulped. "Uh... n-no. I didn't."

Dang it. Denial just made things worse. Luna's smile widened into a full-blown grin.

"Indeed? That is most interesting, for We believe that We just heard such a thing." Luna "hmmed" and tapped her jaw. "A most eloquent of retorts, wouldst thou not say, Antares?"

"Uh... w-well..."

"'Blueberry.' How remarkable. Our sister and We did quite make the correct choice in making thee the princess of snark and sarcasm." Luna leaned her head forward until our muzzles almost touched. 'Twas the most biting of remarks, We must admit. Didst thou thinkest of that because some call thee a peach?"

I ground my teeth together, but still being at her mercy, I could only listen until she grew bored. Given how long she waited on the moon, that might have been a while.

"'Blueberry.' Simply marvelous." Luna raised a hoof and booped my muzzle. "We must remember that, Antares. We must remember that for aalllll time!" With that, Luna turned around and began flying away, her horn illuminated in a way that made me suspicious. "For all time, Antares! For all time!"

Good to know that two thousand years from now she'd still bring that one up. I groaned and rubbed one of my temples. Nothing I could do about it, I suppose. She'd grow tired of it eventually. Believe me, I'd cling to that hope.

With nothing else for it, I completed my morning routine and went to my dining room for a private breakfast. I suspected that it would be the only time of the day that I could be alone. Not that being alone was going to be completely awful. Celestia, Luna, and I had some plans later.

I guess I should explain the deal with alicorns and birthdays. See, it's customary for the alicorn whose birthday it is to get pranked at some point during the day. This is a tradition dating back hundreds of years before Nightmare Moon. Now, given Celestia's playful streak, I found this out the hard way when I awoke on my first birthday since my ascension to find that my shampoo had been replaced with melted butter, my conditioner with Parmesan cheese, and my bedsheets with a giant, flat noodle.

An odd way to wake up, really. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance didn't tell me that this was the tradition, of course. They just did it and let me figure it out on my own. I figured it out pretty quickly, let me tell you.

Of course, after that and the short party that the commoners throw, it's birthday alicorn's choice.

I walked into my dining room and saw Captain Blaze on duty. He bowed to me, and I inclined my head to him before sitting down. "Good morning, Captain."

"Good morning, Princess Antares." A single moment of silence. "Did you have a nice morning with Princess Blueberry?"

I froze.

So that's why she had her horn illuminated. She had sent messages to my guards, telling me what I said. I scowled and waved my hoof. "I don't want to talk about it." I walked over to my usual spot and sat down. In my place sat a covered plate. "What did the chefs cook up today, Captain? Something extra amazing?"

Captain Blaze chuckled and illuminated his horn, the cover lighting up with his glow. "I think so, Princess Antares. You'll like it."

The cover was lifted off, revealing...

Steak!

My jaw dropped, and I turned my head to Captain Blaze, my eyes wide. He chuckled and nodded. "Yep. It's what you think it is."

Steak. And what steak it was. It was perfectly brown on the outside, perfectly pink on the inside, and just the right amount of seasoning on top of it. There were no words to describe how beautiful it looked. I mean, I could gather that it wasn't real steak, since, you know, I'm a pony, and all, but if it was even close to the real thing, then my birthday was going to start out quite well. I picked up my knife and fork and began cutting the meat. The knife cut through the steak perfectly, and I could almost taste the juiciness of it all. I skewered the meat on my fork and lifted it to my mouth, but before I could eat it, Captain Blaze spoke again.

"Princess Luna requested that the chefs make that for you."

I froze with the fork halfway to my mouth. Luna? Luna was behind all of this? I slowly lowered the fork and scowled again. I couldn't risk it. Not after this morning. She was up to something. Yes. Luna was most certainly up to something. I scowled and slammed the fork down.

"This isn't over, Luna!" I growled. "I'll get you back for this if it's the last thing I do, you stupid, night loving..."

"Blueberry?" Captain Blaze offered.

''Oh for..." I slammed my hoof on the table. "You know what? Forget it!" I ignited my horn and raised the fork again. "I'm going to eat every last bite of this. If Luna thinks this reverse psychology is going to work on me, then she has another thing coming! Oh yes she does."

I shoved the bite of steak in my mouth and began chewing, not even waiting for it to slide off of the fork. I closed my eyes and "mmm"ed as the flavors of the juicy steak filled my mouth. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Even somepony who hadn't had steak in years knew that this... this was how steak should be. There was no doubt about its lack of authenticity. Even an alicorn couldn't eat meat. I didn't care. At all.

Within mere minutes, an empty plate sat before me, and a full belly let me know that my birthday improved significantly since that morning. I let out a contented sigh and leaned my head back on my chair. "Marvelous," I mumbled. "Absolutely marvelous. My compliments to the chef."

Captain Blaze chuckled. "I'll let Princess Luna know. For now, your public birthday celebration is about to begin." Captain Blaze pointed to a nearby clock. "The ambassadors from the various towns and cities will be here in a half hour. I'd actually hazard a guess that some are already trickling in."

"And I've just ruined my chances of fitting into my birthday dress, I'll wager," I grumbled. I clicked my tongue and stood up. I'd still fit into the dress, but I had every right to be hopeful. My birthday represented the one day of the year that I needed to wear a dress. Why? Some traditions just suck. I think this one dated back a few hundred years, and stemmed from some noble tailor family, or something. If I remembered my history right, one of their number had saved Canterlot Castle from burning down, so as a thank you, Princess Celestia said that she'd wear a dress from his family every year on her birthday to honor him. The family died out, but, unluckily for me, the tradition stuck.

Oy.

"At any rate, Princess, your appointment to get all dolled up is upon you." Captain Blaze put the cover back on the plate and bowed to me again, pointing to a nearby door. "You go on ahead. Your Element dressmaker friend is waiting for you."

"Goodie." I grimaced. Rarity meant well with her dresses and whatnot, but those frills; the sheer... girlishness of it all! Not to mention the prospect of standing still for a half hour, while she made whatever adjustments she wanted, gave me some cause for concern. It reminded me of being at the dentist, only with more pokes. Still, no avoiding it, I suppose. I bade Captain Blaze a good day for the moment, and walked through the door to my private fitting room.

When I opened the door, I saw Rarity moving about a bright teal dress on a large ponyquin. I counted myself lucky that the frills on the thing were relatively low in number. In fact, there weren't any at all. It was a sleek, form-fitting dress, and I hoped that my breakfast wouldn't make fitting me into it to difficult. Having said that, it wasn't that large.

Rarity must have heard me come in, because she turned around before I could close the door behind me. She smiled and bowed low to the ground.

"Princess Antares. How lovely to see you again." I saw a hint of a smile on her face. "How was your time this morning with Princess Blueberry?"

I scowled at her. "Oh get up, Rarity, or I'm going to send you a bag of marshmallows for your birthday. You and I both know full well that you don't bow to me." I decided to ignore the "blueberry" comment.

When Rarity straightened up, she had a scowl of her own on her face, and she narrowed her eyes. "Ooh, that is dangerous territory, TD. How would you like lots of frills and lace on your birthday dress next year?"

"Marshmallows with purple sugar made to look like hair coming out of the top," I replied, tapping my lower jaw thoughtfully. "Maybe even some mini-marshmallows with purple and pink hair. I can dress them up in little doll outfits."

"Oh yes, pink. That does remind me: I have to make the dress next year the brightest pink that I can possibly create." Rarity chuckled and rubbed her hooves together. "Oh, everypony will think you will be the epitome of feminine beauty and grace, Princess Antares. Pink, and maybe some nice yellows too. All very frilly and lacy."

"A color scheme that only a madpony would possibly find pleasing to the eye." I snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Everypony would think you had lost your touch."

"Oh Princess Antares, you don't give me enough credit," Rarity said with a wave of her hoof. "I've made worse ideas work before, trust me. You would look stunning!"

"Marshmallows..." I grinned and wrapped a foreleg around Rarity's shoulders. "Marshmallows and a ten year's supply of the finest fudge that an Equestrian princess can get." I turned my grin to Rarity. "As a thank you for the dress, of course."

Rarity's pupils contracted, and her jaw dropped. "Y-you..."

Boom. One perfect hit smack dab in the forbidden pleasure.

"Mmm. I've tried some of the fudge around here. So many kinds to sample. That moment when the rich chocolate hits your tongue..." I licked my lips and rubbed my belly. "Absolute mountains of it, all for you."

"You wouldn't dare," Rarity whispered. "You wouldn't dare fight so dirty!"

"She says to the princess of snark and sarcasm."

Rarity closed her mouth, and her expression hardened into a glare that I got the full brunt of. I took my foreleg off of her shoulder, and for a few moments, the two of us just glared at each other. I attribute it to my practiced alicorn stoicism that I saw the corner of her mouth twitch first, but once hers did, mine followed suit, until both of our faces split into wide grins, and we burst out laughing.

"Fudge, my goodness, TD, you really do know how to hold your own," Rarity said, wiping her eyes.

I snorted and shrugged. "What can I say? It's what I do." I chuckled and nudged her. "You're not so bad yourself."

Rarity's face went back to a practiced neutral, and she raised her nose in the air ever so slightly. "While I am a lady, TD, I know how to handle my own. One must understand that there are times to get into verbal spars and plan accordingly."

"Yes, well, you're very good at it, regardless of why you know how."

"Indeed." Rarity cleared her throat, and her tone turned more business-like. "Now, I hope that you haven't had too large of a breakfast, because we're going to make you look..." Rarity stood up on her hind legs, spreading her forelegs out. "Fabulous!"

"Uh-huh."

Rarity got back on all fours and beckoned me over to the fitting stand. "And no whimpering and wailing this year, TD."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Come on, Rarity, I was being sarcastic and snarky with my whimpering and wailing the first year. I'm kinda the crowned princess of that, thank you very much."

"Indeed," Rarity said stiffly.

Yeah, I didn't quite take it too well the first year I discovered that tradition dictated that princesses needed to wear dresses to their birthday celebration. Luna and Celestia neglected to tell me this, of course, so imagine my surprise when I woke up that day to discover my dress waiting for me. Cruelty at its finest, people. I mean, it didn't turn out to be the draconian torture device that I expected, it looked fine, all things considered, but I do not do dresses.

Except once a year on my birthday for two or three hours.

I walked up on the fitting stand, and Rarity slipped the dress off of the dress form. I extended my wings so that Rarity could slip the dress on, and maneuvered them so that they would fit through the wing holes once Rarity deemed the dress on well enough. She then went about it, checking it for any possible flaw. Easily the most boring part, but one learned to get over that as a princess. I decided to strike up a conversation.

"So, how are things in Ponyville?"

Rarity shrugged and examined one of the wing holes in my dress. "Oh, same old, same old, really. It's relatively quiet, though I don't expect that to stay the same for me for long." She gave me a wry smile. "Once ponies see that you're wearing one of my outfits, I'll be swamped with dozens of orders once again, and I'll be able to take a two week vacation to Manehattan with Sweetie Belle once it's all finished."

I grimaced at that. I knew the pressure that doing my outfit put on her. If it wasn't the equivalent of cider season for the Apples, I would have gotten somepony else to do it every once in a while. Well, that and she does an amazing job with them. Even I can see that. Still, I didn't like the idea of her working herself to near death every year.

"You sure you can handle it?" I asked with some caution. Rarity tended to not like being questioned on her abilities. Sure enough, I saw a hint of a grimace appear on her face.

"Of course I can, darling. I've handled it three years in a row now."

"Okay, but if it gets too bad, hire help this year on me, okay?"

Rarity giggled and smoothed out one of the hemlines. "Oh darling, I'm the one who's the Element of Generosity. You needn't do that for me. I manage."

"Uh-huh." I put a hoof on her shoulder as she walked by, stopping her in her tracks. My expression turned serious. "Rarity, I'm not kidding. Every year I hear from Sweetie Belle that you're working yourself to the bone because of the orders you get from the exposure because you do my birthday outfit. You say that you're the Element of Generosity, and that's true, but does that mean that others can't be generous and giving to you? Do others not laugh with Pinkie Pie? Or are honest with Applejack? Or loyal to Rainbow Dash? Don't be so quick to deny generosity because of pride, or because you give it. Don't see accepting generosity as selfish just because you distribute it so freely yourself." Rarity could only stare at me, her jaw hanging open slightly, but I continued on. "Now, I'm not saying that you have to accept my offer. I'm just saying that if you are feeling overworked, let me know, and I'll help out of my own unlimited pocket."

Rarity stared at me, unblinking, for a few moments as we both processed what I just said. After a few moments, Rarity gently cleared her throat and offered me a half smile. "My, my, TD. I don't think I've ever heard you sound so much like Princess Celestia."

My pupils contracted, and my jaw dropped slightly. "Uh... well, I may have gotten a little wiser because I've been ruling a kingdom for a few years, but... uh... heh, I wouldn't quite go that far."

Rarity shook her head and rubbed her lower jaw. "No, no, that was definitely something Princess Celestia would have said, TD. You just tried to teach me a legitimate friendship lesson right there. Should I send you a letter?"

"Let's not be too hasty in comparing me to her, yeah?" I uneasily scratched the back of my neck. "I'm not that wise yet."

Rarity smirked at me and shrugged. "Maybe not, but I can see a definite change in you, TD. You're not the human you once were, and I'm not just talking about the wings and horn." Rarity waved her hoof at me. "Well, I suppose I'll leave you to reflect on that yourself. Your dress is perfect, at any rate. You just need one more final touch before you're ready to face the crowd."

Rarity walked over to her saddlebags and took out a polished oak box. She walked back up to me before opening it up, revealing a polished gold circlet, subtly studded with small rubies. She ignited her horn, and the circlet floated out of the box. I lowered my head slightly, allowing her to place it where my tiara usually went.

"Perfect," she whispered. "I know that you're not one for dresses, TD, but I think that you look absolutely amazing."

I stepped off of the stand and walked over to a full-length mirror to examine myself. For what it was, I do admit that I looked nice. I turned my head back to Rarity and smiled at her. "Thanks, Rares. It looks great." I walked over to her and wrapped my foreleg around her in a hug, which she gently returned so as to not crease my dress.

"You're quite welcome, TD." We broke off of the hug and Rarity used her magic to flatten out any places that had been creased. "Now go out there and greet your subjects, TD. Cheerilee is the Ponyville representative this year, and I think you'll like what she has for you."

I grinned at that. "Excellent. Well, then, I suppose I'd better go, then. You're more than welcome to stay for the party, of course."

"Thank you, TD. I just might do that." Rarity inclined her head in a small bow that I chose to ignore. "For now, I must bid you adieu. I'll see you later, okay?"

"See you later."

With that, Rarity put her saddlebags on her back, and walked out of my fitting room, leaving me alone for a precious few minutes before my party began. I mean, there was no doubt that ponies already filled my throne room and chatted amongst themselves while snacking on hors d'oeuvres, but I wouldn't make my grand entrance for a little while longer. I took a deep breath and walked back over to the mirror. I never really got used to it: seeing myself in a dress. It's especially strange after going around in nothing but my fur and regalia ninety nine percent of the time. Clothes in general are just odd now, I suppose. It doesn't really matter in the end. I'd be able to take it off in a few hours.

That's when my birthday celebration would really begin.

I grinned as I thought about the plans for that evening, and walked over to the doors that led to a hallway that led to my throne room. Three disguised alicorn princesses guarded by incognito Blade Wings ready for a night of tomfoolery in Las Pegasus. That's what I call a birthday celebration. For now, though, I'd have to just play the game.

I stopped just outside of the door that led to my throne room, and heard the dull chatter of ponies already there. I bet that most of the expected guests already arrived. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids stood on either side of the door, and they both bowed to me when I stopped.

"Princess Antares. You look simply ravishing," Captain Blaze said.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure," I grumbled. "Let's just get this over with."

"As you wish." Captain Blaze fired up his horn, and the door opened up, revealing a crowded hall of ponies all dressed to the nines and talking amongst themselves. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were in the crowd too, both of whom were chatting with Rarity, though there were other ponies behind Rarity that seemed to be eager to speak with them.

All talk died down when the ponies heard the door open, and I walked into the throne room with practiced grace and the serene smile typical of an alicorn. Each pony turned to me and began stomp-clapping. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids followed behind me as I walked over to my throne, and I waved to the crowd once before sitting down, my officers taking their places on either side. I raised my hoof and the clapping faded away.

"Good morning mares and gentlecolts, representatives from each of the Equestrian towns and cities. I thank you all for coming to my twenty-fourth birthday party." The crowd began clapping again, and I let them for a few more moments before raising my hoof to quiet them once more. "It warms my heart that all of you could be here to honor me, and I wish you all a wonderful time here today." I inclined my head to the refreshment table, which, I noticed, bore a gargantuan cake of my cutie mark with twenty-four candles on it. Of course. Always my cutie mark. "Now, I look forward to getting to talk with all of you, but for now, please enjoy yourselves."

The ponies began clapping once more, and a servant came by with a glass of champagne on a tray, which I took in my magic and sipped. The ponies began lining up to give me their birthday gifts. Now, back on Earth, getting gifts was always one of the best parts of my birthday. I mean, you have family members who love you and know just what you would really like. Here, though? It's a bunch of nobles who are taking shots in the dark and hoping that they give me something that I enjoy in the hopes that I'll lower taxes for them, or give more attention to their cities. It reeks of falseness. I glanced over at Cheerilee, whom I could already see had a stack of crudely drawn cards that could only have come from foals, and smiled.

Okay, only most of them reeked of insincerity.

I saw the other two princesses excuse themselves from Rarity and walk over to me. I inclined my head in a nod, glad that their presence made the other ponies back off for a little while. Celestia and Luna both tilted their heads in bows, something that I returned.

"Good morning, Antares," Luna said, her voice and face completely straight. "How hast your day been since we... spoke last?"

Again, it goes back to my new, practiced alicorn stoicism that I refrained from ever so gently placing my entire cake on her head. Well, that and the fact that the steak tasted delicious, and there seemed to be no ill effects. I forced myself to continue smiling serenely.

"It has gone well, Luna. My breakfast was quite delicious and, despite my reservations on the tradition, I do think that I look quite good."

"A testament to dear Rarity's skill, no doubt," Luna said with a nod. "You do indeed look stunning."

"My sister is quite right, TD. You do look beautiful," Celestia added.

Ug. I didn't want to look beautiful. Still, Celestia meant it as a compliment, so I took it as one.

However, now that the pleasantries were out of the way, the smiles of the other two turned conspiratorial, and they both leaned in a little closer to me.

"Everything is in readiness for tonight, Antares," Luna whispered, her grin widening. 'Twill be a night to remember."

My own smile turned conspiratorial, and I put my champagne down on the floor near my throne. "It's all ready? You have everything straightened out?"

"Everything, TD," Celestia said, trying to keep the giggle out of her own voice. "We leave as soon as you give the word."

"Excellent." It took every bit of my alicorn self-control to keep myself from rubbing my hooves together and cackling like a maniac. I may have to endure flank kissing for now, but we would balance that out with later festivities.

"Cadance will keep an eye on our kingdom for the night. Should anything arise we will be there instantaneously." Luna glanced left, then right, and when she saw that everypony seemed to be engrossed in their own conversations, she raised her hoof. "To tonight."

Celestia and I followed suit, and we knocked hooves. "To tonight," we replied in unison.

With that settled, all three of us straightened up and cleared our throats. That night would be amazing, but until then, we had an image to maintain. Celestia and Luna walked away from the throne, which the gathered ponies took as a cue to begin inching closer to me with their gifts. My stomach tightened, and I glanced over at Cheerilee to reassure myself. She positioned herself at the back of the line, so I wouldn't be able to get the joy of Ponyville's gift for a while. Pity. Oh well, I'd fake it until then.

Well, with nothing else for it, I looked down at the closest representative and nodded. The beaming smile on his face made me inwardly sigh, but the sooner I started, the sooner I'd get it all over with. I raised my hoof, and once again the hall went silent.

"Good morning once again, mares and gentlecolts. I have been informed that some of you have tributes and gifts from your cities for me. If you would make a line, I am most excited to see what you fine ponies have brought."

The vague line that already formed snapped into a more concrete one, and a few of my guards moved closer to it, just in case order would need to be maintained.

I didn't much care for a repeat of my first alicorn birthday, thank you very much. New princess, just as much power as Celestia and Luna, and everypony seeing how easily she can be manipulated. Yeah, lovely. They have since learned. Oh yes. They learned.

Anyway, the first representative walked up to me and bowed low before my throne. "Good morning, Princess Antares. May I say that you are looking as radiant as I have ever seen you."

Bleck.

Alicorn smile firmly in place, I nodded and waved my hoof at him. "Thank you. It is lovely to see you too."

He straightened up and puffed out his chest. "Now, I and this year's representative from the lovely city of Vanhoover, home of the best fashion this side of Canterlot! As such, it is my great honor to present to you a line of our finest dresses made for you personally." The representative stomped his hoof, and the door to my throne room opened. A line of five ponies walked in, each levitating a pair of dresses. From what I knew of fashion they represented the latest styles and trends, but I'd be darned if I had it in me to actually wear any of them. I glanced over at Rarity and saw a grimace on her face. Something told me that she was grinding her teeth together, too. I made a mental note to ask her about that later. For now, I turned my attention back to the representative and inclined my head.

"I thank you, good sir. They truly are beautiful." I picked up my champagne glass and took a sip that was a little larger than usual before nodding to one of my servants. "Make sure that these are put in the correct place. I want them taken care of with the utmost delicacy."

The assembled ponies politely applauded, and the Vanhoover representative bowed low once more before backing away to the refreshments table. Once he left, another noble pony moved up. County Vichy, as a matter of fact. He bowed low to me.

"Good morning, Princess Antares, and happy birthday."

"Thank you."

Vichy straightened up and gave me that confident, but vaguely smug, smile that I loved so much. "Now, as the representative of Baltimare, the fair city that you watch over without fault, we have decided to give you something that really shows how much we love and appreciate you! Something that will stand the test of time, and leave no doubt of your glory." Vichy puffed out his chest even more and stuck his nose in the air. "And so, we have decided to commission a large golden statue of you in the middle of the town square for all to see, to honor your grace, your goodness, and your beauty!"

Well played, Vichy. Well played.

See, the higher-ups in Baltimare had been trying to get a golden statue of me built for quite some time, but I'd always shot the plans down because, heh, I don't want a freaking gold statue of me. I'd even kept it hidden that there were plans for one in the past. Now, though, I'd have to accept it in front of representatives from every single city and town in my country. A lot of Baltimareians would be fully behind the statue. Vichy scored a victory, and I didn't like it. It represented open defiance under the guise of doing something for me.

It seemed that I needed to keep a closer eye on Vichy than I previously suspected. Still, I'd cross that bridge later. For now, my smile didn't falter a millimeter, and I once again inclined my head to him.

"Thank you very much, Count Vichy."

Vichy raised his head until he made eye contact with me. "You're very welcome, your highness. We will begin construction on it tomorrow morning."

Jerk.

With that, Vichy moved back, and the representatives kept moving forward. Next was a pegasus pony in a plain black suit. She bowed low to me as usual.

"Happy birthday, Princess Antares. My name is Soaring Skies, and I'm one of the many heads in the industry district in Las Pegasus."

Ah yes, Las Pegasus. The name caused my smile to shift to one more mischievous for a split second.

"Good morning, Soaring Skies." I inclined my head, as usual. "It is lovely to see you."

"And you as well, your majesty." Soaring Skies unfurled her wing, and pulled a piece of paper out of her feathers. "The tribute from Las Pegasus is two years of free repair work, upkeep, and upgrades to any and all of your guards' weapons and armor, straight from our best smiths. This offer can be redeemed whenever you so desire."

Ah, now here's where we come to more of the political maneuvering. Las Pegasus makes some of the best arms and armor in Equestria, to the point where they have almost a monopoly on big contracts, such as the Lunar and Solar guards. Heck, some of them even had international deals. Naturally, they expected to get me when I started my guard, but that's not what happened. I went to local arms and armor smiths to bolster nearby economies, and you'd better believe that some of the higher-ups in Las Pegasus highly disliked that particular decision. I mean, Celestia backed it completely, as did all three cities that I ordered from, but that meant nothing. I guess now that it was the industrial district's turn to offer tribute to me, they went straight for the kill. Show me what I'm missing, so to speak, so that I'd switch over to them.

It especially sucked, knowing that two years of free upkeep saved me a fair amount of money that I could use elsewhere. Man, I could not win, could I? My smile became more forced by the minute.

"Thank you, Soaring Skies. I hope that everything turns out well."

Soaring Skies bowed low to me, and backed away from the line.

Ug.

And so it went on. I will say that it got better than that. No more manipulation of me, just trying to make me happy, for the most part. Appleloosa gave me one of their apple tree saplings for my royal garden, Canterlot gave me a marble fountain, Dodge Junction gave me a cherry sapling to go with my apple one, and so on. None of them were awful, per say. At least, none displeased me as much as the statue or the weapons contracts. Finally, though, we came to Ponyville and Cheerilee.

Cheerilee walked up to me and bowed low, just as the others had. She knew as well as I that she didn't have to do that, but we all needed to keep up appearances. She wore a simple sky blue cocktail dress, and had her mane done up in a simple braid.

"Good afternoon, Princess Antares. It's lovely to see you again."

"And you as well, Lady Cheerilee."

It made her blush every time I called her that, which is why I kept doing it. Man, I missed Ponyville. I regretted that I couldn't visit more.

"My gift to you..." Very specific language there. Most of the others had said "tribute." I didn't miss the distinction. "Is from my class. We all made you happy birthday cards!"

I grinned and took the cards from Cheerilee when she offered them to me. Now we got to stuff that I actually liked and would cherish. Why couldn't all of my gifts have been this, well, thoughtful? I was just about to begin reading the top card, which I already saw was from Scootaloo, when I heard a quiet snort near the back of the room. I glanced up and saw that two of the nobles behind Cheerilee had their hooves over their mouths.

"Cards," one whispered to the other. "For a princess? Foal's cards?"

"Yes, foal's cards." My voice cut through the room, leaving no doubt whom I addressed. Both of the nobles gulped and looked up, flinching back when they saw my glare. I raised a hoof and pointed it at the door. "Get. Out. I will not have anypony disrespecting the work that these foals put into these. Now or ever, do you understand me?"

The one on the left's jaw dropped. "B-but Princess Antares, we have not yet given our gift!"

My glare hardened into a snarl. "Maybe you didn't hear me? I said get out!"

The two ponies squeaked, and both scurried out of my throne room, my guard helpfully slamming the door behind them for dramatic effect. I glared at the door for a few more moments to drive my point home before my smile returned, and I returned my attention to the card. The mouthwriting was almost illegible, and the drawing of me was crude, but dang it, I didn't care at all. I raised my head and turned my smile to Cheerilee.

"I love it, and tell the rest of them that I look forward to reading each and every one of them." I turned to Captain Blaze and moved the cards in front of him. "Take these to my room. Make sure that they're safe. I don't want anything to happen to them before I get a chance to read them..." I paused. "Or after, for that matter."

Captain Blaze saluted me, and he took the cards before leaving the throne room.

And with that, all of the representatives were gone, now that I had kicked out the last ones behind Cheerilee. All that remained was a little more socializing before... tonight.

I stood up off of my throne and raised my hoof. "Thank you all, mares and gentlecolts. I appreciate each and every one of your gifts. For now, enjoy the rest of the food, and, if you must leave, have safe travels back to your homes."

The gathered ponies applauded for a few seconds more, and when the applause died down, a few ponies came up to me to wish me a happy birthday before leaving. The rest of them flocked around the food table, where it was time to cut the cake.

Now, setting up the cake was a task far simpler for me than Celestia and Luna, as I had only twenty four candles on it. However, that's not to say that ponies didn't make it work. Why, last year for Celestia's birthday, a unicorn baker from Manehattan painstakingly painted minute candles to match the cake, then put the correct number on the cake, so that it looked like there were no candles, but that the entire thing was glowing. The effect looked amazing, and his magic meant that the cake underneath remained perfectly intact.

Anyway, the ponies sang a birthday song to me, and I blew out the candles to uproarious applause. One of my servants took the candles off, and began cutting the cake, giving the first slice to me. As I dug into the cake, I noticed Soaring Skies walking up to me, and a slight grimace appeared on my face. Ballsy, Ms. Skies. Very Ballsy. Still, I couldn't very well tell her to just go away, so I nodded to her when she approached. She bowed to me.

"Princess Antares, I need to speak to you. It's a most urgent matter."

I swallowed the bite of cake I had been eating. "It can wait. Now is not the time."

Soaring Skies nodded. "Of course, but I would advise not putting it off for too long. It is not a matter that I feel can be settled with a simple day court meeting. Is it possible that I can have a longer time with you sometime next week? I promise that I will not be wasting your time."

I grunted and gave a single nod. "Very well, but see that it doesn't waste my time, Ms. Skies."

Soaring Skies bowed low again. "Yes, Princess Antares. I will have my ponies set up a meeting with yours. I look forward to meeting with you."

I nodded in return, not being able to say that I didn't share the sentiments. I don't like being manipulated, and after that stunt she pulled, my trust in her was rather low. I pushed that aside for the moment. My birthday was neither the time nor place to think about such things.

After a few more hours, the party ended, leaving just me and the other two princesses. I said goodbye to the final guest, and took a deep breath, turning back to the other two. Both of them had the same conspiratorial smiles on their faces that they wore before, and I soon matched it.

"We hope that you did not tire yourself out too much, Antares," Luna said. "We have a long night ahead of us."

I chuckled and beckoned my guests towards my changing room. "Oh Luna, Luna, Luna. You forget that we're alicorns. All three of us do something like that for a week solid and need no sleep." I shrugged. "I mean, yeah, I'm glad that it's over, but if you think that I'm ready for bed you have another thing coming."

"Excellent," Celestia said as we entered the room. She ignited her horn and simultaneously levitated my circlet off of my head and slipped my dress off, putting both neatly on the dress form. "Well, ladies, I think that it's time we got ready for tonight, what do you think?"

I giggled and cracked my neck. "Let's do this."

All three of us fired up our horns at once, and our magic washed over us. I felt myself shrinking down to the size of a regular pony as the magic did its work. When it faded, no longer did three alicorn goddesses inhabit the room. Instead, there were three regular unicorn ponies, all grinning broadly at each other. Celestia had changed her coat dark blue, and her mane electric green. Her mane was about neck-length and done up in a simple ponytail. Luna was soft yellow with a sea blue mane that she let hang down to her neck. I changed my coat to bright orange with a bright blue mane, also hanging down at my neck.

Absolutely unrecognizable.

Now, you may be wondering what's going on. Fair enough. Basically, a long, long time ago, Luna and Celestia realized that their birthdays had stopped becoming about them, and had become about the tributes and the nobles and representatives, and whatnot. So, to counter that, they decided to disguise themselves as commoners for two wild nights on the town, one for each birthday, to do something completely for themselves. Never had they been caught, and never had something interrupted them. Naturally, once I came along and had a birthday, they invited me right along, and I eagerly accepted.

"Well, shall we hit the town then?" Celestia asked, her voice slightly lower than usual.

"I think so," Luna replied, her voice closer in pitch to Twilight's.

"Not quite," I said, holding out a hoof, my voice sounding something like Rainbow Dash's. "We still haven't... accessorized quite yet."

"Accessorized?" Luna said, tilting her head.

I nodded. "Correct. If we're going to do this, we have to look the part."

I ignited my horn and pulled a box out from under a nearby desk, which I deposited in the middle of our group. I flipped it open, revealing the contents.

"Ah, excellent," Luna said, her grin returning. She ignited her horn and levitated a pair of sunglasses out of the box. "They look of quality make."

"That's because they pretty much are," I said, levitating my own pair out of the box. "And the sunglasses are mandatory for everypony for when we slow-walk out of the hotel." I put mine on and motioned down to the box. "And whatever else you feel like adding. This is a night to be silly, ladies."

"Indeed it is," Celestia said, taking a tacky clip-on gold earring out of the box and attaching it to her left ear. "There are only three nights of the year when we can truly cut loose. Let us make them count."

I took a poker visor out of the box and put it on my head, while Luna wrapped a small scarf around her neck. "I think we are ready," she said.

"Almost." Celestia put her sunglasses on, then bowed and pointed at me. "TD, it is to you."

Ah yes. Even here there were traditions to uphold, but I rather liked this one. I raised my hoof, and the other two moved in to raise their own and touch mine. We each bowed our heads.

"The day of a birth has come at last.
The Night of the Immortals will soon come to pass.
We sit and smile, as our ponies give
counting down the hours to the time when we go out and live.
Serene are our smiles, and joyful do we sing
for soon we descend with fast hooves and quick wing.
Our ponies we love, and to protect them we strive,
but this is a night when we are truly alive.
If something should make us diverge from our path,
then beware! You will face the alicorn's wrath.
For tonight we are young, carefree, and alive,
to create everlasting memories, have fun, and cut loose we do strive."

I put my hoof down, and the other two followed suit, all three of us grinning like foals on Hearth's Warming Eve. I took a deep breath and cracked my neck.

"Now. Now we are ready."

Author's Notes:

Long chapter to make up for the hiatus. I wanted to have this one out before BABSCon. Heh... yeah, because that happened.

What Happens in Las Pegasus...

And now we go.

Our mischievous smiles not wavering for a moment, Celestia, Luna, and I leaned our heads forward and touched the tips of our horns. "Remember," Celestia said, "this is a night for tomfoolery. Do not hold back, unless it breaks our cover."

"Under no circumstances would I dream of it," I replied. "Let's do this thing! We're wasting too much time!"

"Antares is correct!" Luna roared. "We go!"

With that, we all channeled magic through our horns for a massively long-range teleportation. With a pop, we vanished from my room, to reappear in an ornate hotel room. Next to the door of the hotel room stood three stone-faced ponies, all three of whom bowed low to us when we appeared. Celestia returned the bow with a nod.

"Mares and gentlecolt, I do not need to tell you that discretion on your part is key. Watch over the three of us, but do not let your presence be known."

"Yes, princess," all three of them muttered.

"Excellent." I cracked my neck and walked towards the hotel room door. "Alright then, ladies, let's do this thing!"

With a cheer and a group high-hoof, the three of us exited our room, walked down the hallway, down the stairs, and out of our hotel room into the bright, flashy, and glorious city of Las Pegasus. I took a deep breath and let my hooves feel the clouds ground below me. Not that I really remembered the few times that I had gone, but Las Pegasus struck me as vastly different from Las Vegas in terms of air cleanliness. Flash, though? Hah, Las Pegasus matched Las Vegas there. Every inch of every cloud building flashed with magically colored clouds that went off like Christmas lights at different intervals, and signs abounded for casinos and restaurants and even a few brothels. Las Pegasus prided itself on being the capital of prostitution in Equestria, though the crown taxed both it, and the gambling quite heavily.

I scanned the streets, and my eyes locked on a nearby casino. The Princesses Den. I turned my head to the other two, and all three of us smirked at the same time. Bingo.

The three of us trotted over to The Princesses Den, with the three Blade Wings following silently behind us. All around, pegasi and unicorns moved around, their chatter adding to the noise of the city. We reached the casino, and a doorstallion tilted his head to us, and opened the door for us.

We walked inside and saw us.

Everywhere.

When the casino said "The Princesses Den," they weren't kidding. The waitresses were all dressed in skin-tight jumpsuits of sorts that were colored either pink, dark blue, white, or peach, complete with fake cutie marks and wigs, representing the four of us. Giant statues of the four of us flanked a red carpet that led to the main floor, where slot machines of all types, most of which bore the image of one of us, blinked and buzzed, and flashed, calling the ponies inside to spend their hard-earned wages on a dream that they might get some of their money back. Large poker tables surrounded by well-dressed ponies dotted the upper levels of the casino, and other games littered the floor as well. I clicked my tongue and looked up at the large marble statue of me looking down at the red carpet.

"I hate being commercialized like this," I grumbled.

"It comes with the crown, but I admit that I have rarely seen it done on this scale." Celestia chuckled and walked up to a statue of her. "My, my. Simply fascinating. I might want to come back here for my birthday."

"Well at any rate, what say you to some poker?" I grinned and looked up at the poker tables. "I'll wager that they've never seen the likes of us, and our weekly poker sessions are going to help us out a fair amount, wouldn't you say?"

"Thou art the birthday mare, Antares." Luna began walking towards the stairs that led to the upper level. "To the poker tables we go!"

With a cheer, the two of us followed Luna to the stairway, and walked up to the second level. When we reached the top step, a large pegasus pony with sunglasses, a black suit, and a pin of me on his lapel stepped in our way.

"Sorry, ladies, this section is for high class gamblers only." The bouncer motioned down to the lower levels. "If you still wish to play poker, there are some excellent tables down below."

Celestia smirked and opened up her saddlebag. "Sir, I know that we aren't dressed the best, but I promise that we will fit right in up here." Celestia levitated a large bag of bits out of the saddlebag, and even under the sunglasses, I could tell that the bouncer's eyes widened. "We'd like to play up here, if that's okay."

The bouncer sputtered out a few gibberish words before nodding and bowing to us. "Please forgive me for my rudeness, madames. Please enjoy yourselves! I'll escort you to a table myself!"

"I note that the tables have pictures of the princesses on them." I motioned to a nearby table. "If at all possible, could we get a table with a picture of Princess Antares on it? She's my lucky princess."

The bouncer smiled and nodded. "Absolutely. Right this way."

We followed the bouncer to a table not too far from the stairs with a smiling picture of me emblazoned on the green felt with a speech bubble that said "good luck!" near my mouth. You ever had that happen to you? It's odd, let me tell you. The bouncer pulled out three cloud chairs, allowing us to sit down. At the table were five other ponies. There were four pegasi, two mares, and two stallions, all of whom were dressed nicely. There was also the unicorn dealer who wore the stereotypical dealer outfit.

"Would you like something to drink, madames?" The bouncer asked. "I can have a waitress send something over."

"If you have a list, that would be wonderful," Luna said.

The bouncer nodded. "I will have three sent to you at once. Have a good night, and good luck! May the princesses watch over you this night!"

"Thank you." The three of us turned to our fellow gamblers and grinned at them. Time to do some cleaning. Celestia took the bag of bits out of her saddlebag, and paid for a basic set of chips for all of us. With that settled, the dealer began shuffling the cards.

"Alrighty, mares and gentlecolts! The name of the game is Manehattan Hold-em!" He finished shuffling and began dealing. "We have three new players at our table. What are your names, ladies?"

"Star Shine," I replied.

"Sunny Skies," Celestia answered.

"Night Gazer," Luna responded.

The dealer nodded. "Excellent, excellent, excellent. Alright, ladies and gentlecolts. Time to start putting chips in. One hundred small blind, five hundred big blind. Small blind to you, Ms. Shine."

"Kewl." I put a one hundred bit chip in the middle, and glanced at my cards. Princess of Diamonds and Five of Hearts.

After a few seconds, a waitress dressed like Cadance came back with three drink menus that she placed in front of us as we all started our betting. I looked at my menu and noticed a drink called the Pegasus' Ono Champagne Cocktail. My eyebrow raised when I noticed the thousand bit price tag. I whistled and tilted my menu to show it to Celestia. "Never had a drink that expensive before. Somethin' else, innit?"

Celestia smiled and nodded before igniting her horn, and taking all three of our drink menus to give back to the waitress. "Three Pegasus' Ono Champagne Cocktails, please."

The waitress raised her eyebrow, but nodded and tilted her head to us. “Very good, madames. I'll get those for you in a jiffy. May the princesses watch over you this night."

"Thank you." Celestia chuckled, and the three of us turned back to the game. I noticed that the other players all looked at us with expressions of incredulity. Buying three of the most expensive drinks in the place kind of makes a statement, I suppose, especially when you aren't dressed. Celestia smiled at the rest of them, and put two hundred bits into the pot.

Luna smirked and leaned in closer to us. "Tis a pity that our niece is not here. She would have won back the cost of those drinks very quickly."

"We'll manage," Celestia whispered back. "We're not so bad ourselves."

"I've won a few of our nights. Never forget that," I retorted as I put what I needed to into the pot.

"How can We?" Luna rolled her eyes. "You spoke of nothing else for the next week!"

"And here are your drinks, ladies!"

The three of us straightened up and saw a gray pegasus stallion with a stack of poker chips for a cutie mark in a tuxedo with his black mane slicked back. He had our drinks balanced on one of his wings. He moved in between the three of us, and placed our drinks down in front of each of us before twirling his hoof and bowing low. "I hope that you're enjoying yourselves."

"Oh I think that we are," I said. "We in the middle of an exciting game of Manehattan Hold-em!"

"Ah, one of my favorites!" The pegasus sat down at the empty seat next to me. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm High Roller. I own this fine establishment here."

"Well, I must congratulate you on your successes, then, Mr. Roller." I looked around at the packed tables as the fourth card was flipped over. "You seem to be doing well."

High Roller chuckled and patted his chest. "Yes, well, I do pride myself on having a business sense. When I got into the casino business I said to myself 'High Roller, you need something to make ponies come to your casino. Something that's going to make it stand out from all of the other pretenders,' and you know what I thought? I thought, 'well, you know what's a symbol of power and everlasting strength? The princesses of course!' So I went and built this here casino of them, and it has done me very well, Ms. Shine."

I see he knew my name already. Somepony around there was feeding him information. Very interesting.

At any rate, the dealer flipped the fifth card over, and I subtly glanced down at my own cards again before looking at the ones on the table. Pair of fives, and was just two cards short of a flush. Not a good hand but hey, the night was young yet. The two ponies to my right put two hundred bits into the pot, but I pushed my cards to the dealer.

"I fold."

High Roller clicked his tongue and shook his head sadly. "Well, now, I'm afraid that is just too bad, Ms. Shine."

I scoffed and pulled my drink closer to me. "Think nothing of it. It's one hand, and the night, as they say, is young."

I took a sip of my drink, and nodded my approval as the flavors hit my tongue. I "mmmm"ed and inclined my head to High Roller. "My compliments. That's quite delightful."

High Roller puffed out his chest, and his wings flared out a little bit. "Yes, I do pride our bartenders on making some of the best drinks in all of Equestria! That is but a sampling of what they can do, if you have the right tastes."

Or a big enough bit bag, you mean.

Before I could respond, I heard Celestia cheer, and I turned my head to see her raking in a gigantic pile of chips, a huge grin on her face. I looked at the pile of cards on the table and grimaced.

"Ah, you had the flush I wanted."

Celestia laughed and began stacking her chips. "Well, that's the way the cards fall sometimes." Celestia levitated three thousand bits worth of chips over to High Roller. "If I could get somepony to cash these. I think you will find that this will cover the cost of our drinks."

High Roller turned his oily smile to Celestia and nodded. "But of course, my dear. Shall I start a tab for you three?"

"Very well."

"Excellent." High Roller beckoned another waitress dressed like me over, and gave the chips to her with his instructions.

And so it went on like that for a little while longer. We played five or six hands, with one of the three of us winning most of them, while I chatted with High Roller. When I finished my drink, Celestia ordered me another, something that High Roller was more than happy to accommodate. I knew what High Roller was up to, of course. He just wanted to make it seem like he was a good guy so that we'd come back, and he'd get more of our money. Flashing around our bits like we were, he'd be dumb not to really, so I didn't really blame him for that. It's all part of the game.

After a half hour of playing, I'd say that we were doing pretty well. We'd already broken two other players, who had been replaced with two others, and each had a sizable stack of chips, easily larger than the one that we started with.

"Well, you were right about your optimism, Ms. Shine!" High Roller took my empty second glass from me, and gave it to a waitress. "The princesses are indeed smiling down on you! You said that Antares is your lucky princess, and I think you're right!"

I smiled and nodded as I put my cards down on the table. "And I think she might be smiling on me again. Full house: princesses and nines!"

The rest of the table groaned, but High Roller applauded me. "Well done! Very well done!" I nodded to him as I scooped up my winnings, then put the big blind into the pot. "So, I never actually asked: what brings you fine ladies to my establishment tonight?"

"Oh, it's Star Shine's birthday today," Luna said as she put her own chips into the pot. "We took her out to celebrate."

High Roller gasped and jumped off of his chair. "Your birthday? Well why didn't you say so?" He motioned over to one of the waitresses and pointed to me. "It's Ms. Star Shine's birthday today! She deserves a high-class celebration!"

I started to get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I glanced over at Luna and Celestia, both of whom were grinning at me. High Roller had me at his mercy, and all three of us knew it. And they loved it. After a few minutes, a line of dancers, also dressed as us princesses, came out, and High Roller spun my chair around to face them.

In front of the line of dancers was a mare whose dress could be described as more... risque. And by that I mean she was wearing knee-high socks with, yep, my face on them. She was also dressed as me, naturally. She came forward and hopped onto my lap and unfurled her wing, revealing a plastic replica of my tiara, which she placed on my head. "I heard Princess Antares is your lucky princess, cutie." She put the crown on my head and gave me a nice big kiss on the cheek, which by this point had turned beet red. "Then may she smile down on you." Another dancer came forward, and the first one took a necklace from her, which, to my utter lack of surprise, had my cutie mark on it. She placed it around my neck and kissed my other cheek. I glanced over at my fellow princesses. Luna had her head buried in her forelegs, and I knew that the only reason I didn't hear any noise from her was because she was laughing too hard for that. Celestia, being a little better in control of her emotions, merely had a wide grin on her face.

I inwardly sighed and looked back at the dancers who had begun doing some sort of kick dance, while the pony in my lap began singing.

"Oh we wish you a happy birthday, and we know the princesses do too.
We're so glad you came our way, so we could party with you.
May the Princesses smile down upon you, and may your year be gay!
Until then, my dear, hap-hap-happy biiiiiiirrrrrrtthhhdaaayyyyy!"

W... wow.

My years as a princess meant that I possessed the ability to force a smile on my face and make it look very genuine. A skill I needed to put to use then and there. I began clapping at the dancers. "Thank you very much. Wow, I don't know what to say."

"Well, this one's on the house." High Roller moved aside and a waitress came up to me with a third glass of Pegasus' Ono Champagne Cocktail.

Two hours later, the three of us cashed out, slightly better off than when we had entered, and walked out into the streets of Las Pegasus. High Roller saw us out personally, and assured us that we would always have a place in the upper level for whenever we wished to return.

Once we were a block or so away, I groaned and facehooved, lighting my horn and taking the tacky tiara off of my head. "Wow. I have never felt so commercialized. You gotta know that there are escort mares out there who get paid to dress like us."

Celestia sighed and shrugged, taking my tiara and necklace and putting them in her saddlebag. "Well, so it goes, I guess. We can't crack down on all of it, and I saw no great harm in that kind of thing. It wasn't so overt that I felt the need to step in, though I admit, it was strange."

"I wonder what would happen if I walked in there as myself?" I grinned and imagined the possibilities. "Asked to see the owner and demanded to know what the heck all of this was?"

Luna snorted. "We imagine he would faint from shock, Antares."

We burst out into laughter, until I noticed a bar nearby with a sign out front.

Drinking Competitions Here

Ooh. It sounded almost unfair as an alicorn who was immune to alcohol to do something like that, but...

I grinned and inclined my head to Celestia and Luna, both of whom grinned back and nodded to me. We turned and walked into the bar.

Well, the atmosphere differed from The Princesses Den, I'll give it that. Dubstep playing on a jukebox, a few dozen burly, tattooed stallions, and a few petite mares attached to said stallions, sat around the bar drinking, talking, or playing pool. A few looked over at us when we walked in, but didn't make any fuss. We walked up to the bar, and the bartender, cut from the same cloth as the rest of the stallions, looked up at us with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, I heard there was a drinking competition of some kind?"

The stallion snorted and tilted his head in a nod. "Yes'm. In five minutes. Not sure if'n you'll get much outta it. It's drink 'till one of ya passes out."

I shrugged. "Well, I'm out for a night on the town. I saw your sign, and it looks like fun."

The stallion shrugged. "If'n ya say so. Just give me a few minutes to set up the table."

The stallion went to a back room, and I turned to Celestia and Luna. "This could be interesting."

Luna nodded. "Indeed. We shall let you take point on this. I am curious to see where you are going here."

"Oh, I think you'll see."

After another minute, the bartender flew out from the back room with a long table in his forelegs. The music stopped, and the entire bar erupted into loud cheers. Everypony flocked around the bartender, who put the table down, and raised his forelegs.

"Alright, listen up! The drinkin' competition's 'bout ta start, yeah? You wanna join, you just let me know, along with who yer gonna be drinkin' against. Entry fee is ten bits!"

Ten bits for essentially all you can drink. Sheesh. One glass of the champagne drink I had been drinking was a hundred times that.

Celesta hoofed me over ten bits, and I gave them to the bartender when I got enough room. Seemed like the event was quite popular. Most of the stallions in the bar had their ten bits to give. The bartender scooped them all up and put them in a large glass jar. "Alright, who's first?"

"I am!"

I looked over to the source of the voice, and I saw probably the largest, most muscular stallion in the entire place. He wore a tattered construction worker's jacket, had a biker's mustache, and a large tattoo of something or other on his right shoulder. Next to him stood a small tan mare, whom he had his wing on. So he looked like a stereotypical bad guy, basically.

"Any of you mares stallion enough to face me?" He pointed at each of the stallions who had entered. "I'll take on any one of you wussy little fillies!"

I shrugged and raised my hoof. "Okay, sure. I'll take you on."

The stallion looked over at me, and his face went blank for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. The rest of the bar quickly followed suit.

"You?" He chuckled and pushed the mare away, sending her scurrying to a corner seat, before walking up to me. "You're a lightweight! You'd probably get one drop on your tongue and pass out!"

I shrugged. "Well, easy victory for you, then, isn't it?"

The stallion snorted and rolled his eyes. "Too easy. I'm not gonna waste my time with you." He grinned nastily at me and, to my utter shock, he slapped my plot with one of his wings. "It'd be a waste of some nice flank."

I turned and raised my hoof just in time to stop Celestia and Luna from annihilating the guy. Their horns were firing up, but one look from me, and they calmed down. I smirked at them and nodded. I knew what I was doing. I turned back to the stallion, whom I noticed this close up stood easily two heads taller than I did, but still shorter than me in my alicorn form. I smirked at him.

"So, what, you scared that I'm actually gonna win, or something?"

The stallion snorted again. "No, I just want a real challenge."

"Well, I'll bet you that I will be a real challenge."

"Bet?" The stallion's nasty grin returned, and he raised his eyebrow. "Very specific word choice there."

"Deliberate as well, Mr..." I spun my hoof.

"Cement Mixer."

"Mr. Cement Mixer." I nodded. "Excellent. Well, then, Mr. Mixer, I bet you that when we get in the drinking competition that I win, and if I do, then you have to go to both an Alcoholics Anonymous class, and a class on how to properly and respectfully treat mares until they say that you're ready to 'graduate," so to speak."

Cement Mixer snorted and rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh, fine. And when I win, you come back to my place and I'll show you a, heh, good time."

I shrugged. "Done."

Cement Mixer extended his hoof and I shook it. "Done."

The bar cheered, and the bartender formed two cloud seats for us before setting down two trays, both holding twenty shots. Easy.

I ignited my horn and raised the first shot glass, and Cement Mixer picked up his first glass, still grinning at me. "You ready to lose?"

I raised my glass to him. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

"Alright, the first pony to pass out loses." The bartender raised his foreleg and looked at me. "May Celestia help you." With that, he lowered his foreleg. "Drink!"

I raised the shot glass to my lips and drank the whole thing in one gulp. Being an alicorn meant that even the burning sensation of whatever that was didn't hit me as hard. I put the shot glass down and picked up a second one.

"Drink!"

Down the hatch.

"Drink!"

Another one down.

"Drink!"

Empty glass number four.

I looked over to my opponent, whose smug grin faded slightly. I noticed one of his eyes twitch as he raised his fifth shot glass. "Alright, you're not doing so bad, but you're still going down."

I shrugged and drained the fifth shot glass. "You'd think that, but I can't feel a thing."

Cement Mixer glowered and drank his sixth shot, then his seventh. For every one that he drank, I matched. By the time he went to grab his tenth shot glass, I noticed that he missed it.

"Seeing double?"

“Eh shaddup," he growled. He hiccuped and finally managed to grab the glass. "Yur gunna really get it tonight. Yer gonna feel more th.... uh... th'n alcohol when you wake up."

I shrugged and drained my eleventh glass. "If you say so."

Cement Mixer growled and raised his twelfth glass to his lips, but it slipped from his grasp and began falling. I caught it with my magic and raised it back to his lips. "Whoops. You almost dropped it. Would you like me to help you?"

"Don' need yer help!" The stallion grabbed the glass and quickly drained it before throwing it back on the tray. "Yer goin' down!"

"Yes, I'm traveling back to my home later this evening." I drained my twelfth glass. "Or is that not what you meant?"

Cement Mixer growled again, and tried grabbing for his thirteenth shot, but he kept missing. I gently nudged it in his path with my magic, and he picked it up and drained half of it, spilling the rest all over himself. I sighed and drained my thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth glasses in the span of five seconds. "You're falling behind." I nudged two more over to him. "You'd better keep up."

Cement Mixer wobbled in his seat, and tried reaching for another glass, but I saw him go cross-eyed, and he collapsed on the ground. Victorious, I stood up and brushed myself off, smiling at the other patrons in the bar. "Well, that was exciting, wasn't it?"

Silence.

I chuckled and walked over to the sleeping form of my opponent. I surreptitiously cast a healing spell on him to make sure no damage had been done, like alcohol poisoning. That settled, I looked at the rest of the bar. "Anypony else wanna slap my plot?" Everypony in the bar shook their heads. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

With that, I turned and walked up to the mare that Cement Mixer had come in with. Her eyes went as wide as the table when she saw me come up. I smiled warmly at her and motioned over to Cement Mixer. "You his marefriend?" She nodded. "You like him?" She shook her head. "Okay, then leave him. Don't worry, he won't bother you if you do."

And then I walked right out of the bar, Celestia and Luna following behind me.

When we reached the street, I motioned over to one of the Blade Wings following us. He trotted up to me, and I pointed to the bar. "Make sure he follows through with his side of the bet, alright?"

"Yes, Princess Antares," the Blade Wing said with a salute.

"Good." I took a deep breath and turned to the other two princesses. "Well, ladies, that was... something else, but what's say we spend the rest of the night in my palace eating the rest of my cake, some ice cream, a teapot, and reading the cards the Ponyville foals gave me, yeah?"

Celestia and Luna both smiled at the idea. "I think that sounds lovely," Celestia said.

Well, as much as I liked going out and having fun, I liked being myself again too. Ten minutes later, Luna, Celestia, and I were in my room in Baltimare, all three of us back to normal with my cake and some ice cream resting between us, and the stack of foal's cards in front of me.

"Well, ladies, I had fun. That ending especially was... unexpected."

"Unexpected, but hopefully some good will be done," Celestia said with a nod as she took a slice of the cake. "How was that alcohol, by the way?"

I grimaced and stuck out my tongue. "Swill, and I don't think that's because I had had three Pegasus' Ono Champagne Cocktails beforehoof." I shrugged and poured myself a cup of peppermint tea. "Still, I enjoyed myself, and that's what matters."

"Indeed." Luna poured herself and Celestia some tea, and she raised her teacup. "The night was enjoyable, Antares, particularly..." Luna's grin turned mischievous. "That mare in the socks." I groaned and facehooved, something that made the other two laugh. "In any case, happy birthday to you."

Celestia raised her own teacup. "Happy birthday, TD." We all took a sip of tea. "Now, then, let's read some of these cards!"

Minotaurs and Pegasi

The days after a birthday are usually downers, but especially when you're royalty and you have the traditions that we do. Now it's back to the daily grind. The time when it's all about the ponies we serve again. Don't get me wrong, it's not awful, but like I said: the few days after a birthday when we get to go wild are always a little down.

Oh well. Muzzle back to the grindstone.

Out of all of my upcoming meetings, the one upcoming one with Soaring Skies, the Las Pegasus dignitary on my birthday, definitely counted as the one I looked forward to the least. I didn't like being politically manipulated, and then she had the gall to actually come and ask me for something? Not cool. Still, it came with the crown, and I couldn't just flat-out say no. It was a poor leader who ignored something that could potentially be important out of pride, and if I told her that I didn't want to see her because of the stunt she pulled on my birthday, that's all it would be.

The day of her meeting arrived, and I ordered Lieutenant Rapids to lead her into one of my private meeting rooms. Despite my willingness to meet with her, I made sure that my chair stood just a little bit higher than hers. Gotta let her know who's actually in charge here. All part of the game.

After a few moments of waiting, the door to the room opened, and Lieutenant Rapids brought Soaring Skies inside. Soaring Skies walked up to me and bowed low. "Your Majesty. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

"You're welcome." I motioned over to a nearby, smaller chair. "Please, sit."

Soaring Skies bowed low again and sat down on the chair. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

Soaring Skies sat down in the chair, and I gave her a few seconds to relish in the height difference. I really wanted her to get that I was the one in charge here, and not her. I had no doubts that she completely understood why I was doing this to her. Good. Then maybe she won't do it again, and she'll let the others know that too.

After a few more moments, I decided that she'd had enough. I cleared my throat and fluttered my wings. "Alright, what is it that you wished to speak with me?"

Soaring Skies grimaced, and leaned forward a few centimeters. "I'm here because there is a grave threat to Equestria, Princess Antares. You know that Las Pegasus is one of the biggest arms dealers in the world correct? Some of our companies, mine included, have international contracts in several different countries."

I nodded. "Yes, Ms. Skies. I am fully aware of that. What's your point?"

"My point is that because of our weapons connections, we are privy to important information. We make it a habit to find out what our weapons are being used for. We don't want Las Pegasopolan weapons being used by terrorist organizations, after all."

"And you found something." I raised an eyebrow. "You sold some weapons and you heard something big."

Okay, as much as I disliked what she pulled on my birthday, she had my attention now.

Soaring Skies nodded. "Two months ago, we began dealing with a minotaur clan. As usual, we did some background work on why they would want our weapons. Now, as you know, the minotaur lands are made up of roaming tribes with a few central trading hubs, most notably Schunie. It was there that we heard it." Soaring Skies leaned forward a little more, and her eyes widened for emphasis. "Princess Antares, the minotaurs are uniting. Pan-Minotaurism is spreading throughout the minotaur lands like wildfire, and a large part of it is you."

I raised an eyebrow, and my jaw dropped slightly. "Me? Why me?"

"Because they feel that now Equestria is getting too strong. Your ascension increased the size of our military forces, and your little stunt with the griffin raiders did not go unnoticed. They think that you're very strong, or could become so. With you on the throne, many minotaur clan leaders worry that Equestria now has the power to take over if we so desired, either militarily or by simply setting up key puppet leaders."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "That's ridiculous. What the heck would we want with the minotaur lands?"

"But they don't know that!" Soaring Skies pointed out. "Whoever controls the cities like Schunie controls the minotaur lands. That's a large portion of their wealth in there, Princess Antares. They're not going to risk it if they get the idea that a foreign power wants it."

"Alright then." I tapped my jaw and peered down at her. "So I assume you've talked with the other Las Pegasopolan weapons leaders about this."

"Yes, somewhat."

"Very well, what do you see happening, then? The minotaurs unite into one country, and a lot of in-fighting stops. Then what?

Soaring Skies' grimace returned. "Then our hegemony disappears, Princess Antares, three goddesses leading our nation or not. A unified minotaur kingdom would soon become one of the most powerful militaries on the planet, and we both know that the griffins would side with them in a war. Aepnet already has alliances with most of the larger clans, so it stands to reason that a unified minotaur nation would continue allying with him. Besides, there are rumors that there are still Nightmare Weapons out there that can kill you three."

"I am well aware of the rumors, but so far they are only that. We can't go smashing up Aepnet's country based on rumor. That aside, I get your point, but you forget that we have allegiances with Sultan Mesud of Saddle Arabia, not to mention the Crystal Empire." In a setup that really does remind me of the precursor atmosphere to World War One, so it's a good thing I was on the throne to know that. "We wouldn't be some pushover country if Aepnet and the minotaurs went to war against us."

"Maybe not, but the last component is that our military is not as strong as the minotaurs think that it is!" Soaring Skies wilted under my slight glare, and cleared her throat. "I-I'm not suggesting that you were lazy and went halfway, or picked your troops poorly, Princess Antares. In fact, the general consensus amongst us in Las Pegasus is that yours is the strongest of the forces, particularly after the griffin raider incident. However, it's the Night and Solar Guards that we worry about in particular in terms of an army. Princess Cadance's Blade-Wings are little more than an espionage unit. On a battlefield, they would not last long, especially against a regiment of fully-trained minotaurs."

"High praise for organizations that have been around since before even I was a thought."

Soaring Skies flattened her ears and flinched back. "P-Princess Antares, I mean no offense to the guards, but as a fighting force, they are inadequate, the Solar Guard especially. I feel that the Changeling invasion proved that. Prince Shining Armor is an exceptional commander, but he is just one pony in a rather corrupt bureaucracy."

"Corrupt bureaucracy?" I snorted. "My, my, you should tell that one to Celestia."

Soaring Skies flinched back again. "Princess Antares, I only speak the truths that I see. I would not say such things if I did not feel that there was cause to. Dealing weapons and armor for the guards gives us intimate dealings into how they are run. Prince Shining Armor is a stallion of honor, none can deny that, but he is one of the few. Not only that, but he has to devote much of his time to the Crystal Empire, so much so that there are rumors that he might step down to become the co-ruler in full."

"You deal a lot in rumors, I see."

Soaring Skies gave a nervous chuckle. "Yes, well, one has to keep their ears open for business opportunities in our line of work, as well as knowledge about who to sell and not sell our wares to."

"Makes sense." I waved my hoof. "Anyway, you were saying?"

"Yes, I was saying that the guards are not prepared to be a proper army. They are certainly prepared to march in military parades, but little else. The nobility, too few of whom have actually dealt with real military matters in their lives, have too much influence in the guards. Fat nobles promote their sons and daughters into officer roles, when they have no real experience, while denying truly talented soldiers what they've worked for. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are too busy to regulate the army; an army that's too small to effectively do anything should we be invaded."

"Something that you have no proof of happening, Ms. Skies." I clicked my tongue and leaned back in my chair to cross my forelegs. "And by this point, my origins are not a secret. My original race was far more war-like than the minotaurs can ever imagine, and our weapons make even yours look like foam sticks. Should we come to war, I will make it so that our nation is on top. Even without magic, I can incinerate Schunie." I smirked at Soaring Skies when I saw her eyes widen even more. "Can you imagine a force of, say, fifty or so pegasi sacking the greatest minotaur city ever? Or a few hundred destroying Iselin? If we go to war, I will make it happen. You needn't worry about that."

"I'll admit that your assurances do interest me, Princess Antares, though once again, they are part of the cause for minotaur unification." Soaring Skies hesitated for a moment. "And they do not address the inherent problems with the military that we currently face."

"I suppose not. So, then, what do you suggest, hmm? I can't deny that the nobles have a heavy hoof in the military, but that's the way it's been for hundreds of years." I grimaced that the thought. "The nobles had the armies, so they got to lead when Equestria became more unified. Nothing's really changed since then. You suggest we just remove them from power?"

"Well, to put it simply, yes." I raised an eyebrow, and Soaring Skies held up a hoof. "Look, the reason that the nobles are damaging our military capabilities is because they're so ingrained in it! If the nobility is removed from the picture, then we can re-organize and start turning it into a really effective fighting force; something where promotion is based off of merit instead of parentage, and some duke who has never done a real military drill in his life won't have any more say in how things are run than the janitor who cleans the latrines."

I grunted. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Yes, it is nice, and do you want to know why I know that? Because you and Princess Cadance started your guards from scratch, without the nobility, and of the four guards, yours run the most effectively by far. That's not to say that the Night and Solar guards are completely inept, but if I had to choose, I'd pick your army over theirs, despite it being smaller."

"You haven't really told me how we're supposed to get all of this done. You also seem to forget that a fair amount of nobles with ties to the military help fund a fair portion of it, and that's one of the big reasons that Celestia and Luna let them have some say, and why it's bigger than mine." I raised an eyebrow. "So then how could we deal with the loss of funding that would inevitably occur when the nobles pull their support. Our army would be even weaker unless we could find..."

It hit me just as Soaring Skies looked from me to the floor. I closed my eyes and began rubbing my temples.

"Ah. I now see the point of this entire meeting. You want the crown to hand over control of the military to the Las Pegasus arms dealers."

Soaring Skies' eyes widened, and she shot to her hooves. "No! Not control! Las Pegasus is, and always will be, loyal to you, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance! The military would remain in your control, where it should be!"

"It's just that where the nobles have control, now you and your fellow arms dealers would."

"We have the interests of Equestria at heart first and foremost, Princess Antares, unlike those nobles!" Soaring Skies bowed to me again, much to my disgust. "We would reorganize the military into the most powerful and effective fighting force in the world. No more politics, no more favoritism, just merit and skill! Think of how wonderful that would be! If the changelings were to instigate another surprise attack, then competent commanders would not allow for them to take over like before, we would actually beat them back!"

"I cannot believe this," I grumbled. "This entire meeting has been one big commercial for Las Pegasus arms and armor as a way for you guys to get a big 'in' with the crown!"

"Not at all! We merely want what's best for Equestria, Princess Antares, I swear to you!" Soaring Skies straightened up and looked me dead in the eye. "If we do not make our nation stronger, if we do not take steps to keep our hegemony, then I guarantee that something terrible will happen to our nation. I don't know what, but something will happen. Something will happen that will show our hidden weaknesses."

"Unless we do exactly as you say," I responded flatly.

"I'm not begging you to put us in charge per se, merely to remove the military from the hooves of the corrupt and inept nobility, who do not know how to lead it properly. Strengthen it, Princess Antares! That is all I can ask!" Soaring Skies sighed and shook her head. "If the minotaurs unite, then we must do all that we can to keep our hegemony, lest we look too weak for Aepnet and the new minotaur leader."

"With three goddesses on the throne, I have doubts about that." I waved my hoof and stood up. "At any rate, I have another meeting to get to. I have doubts about your assertions that something bad will happen if we don't strengthen our military right now, and I certainly am wary of the political ramifications of wresting it out of the hooves of the nobility." Soaring Skies opened her mouth to speak, and I raised my hoof to cut her off. "However, you do have one valid point. The minotaur unification is not something to be ignored, and we will not ignore it. I will speak to the other princesses about this, and we will be sure to keep a very close eye on that. You're right: that can't be ignored."

Soaring Skies closed her mouth and was silent for a moment before bowing once more. "Yes, Princess Antares. Thank you for your time. I will let you know if I hear anything else important."

"It might be best if you send all of your findings to the crown when you investigate whether or not to sell to a nation or a particular group. Then the crown can decide what's important, and we can find out about this kind of thing sooner."

Soaring Skies hesitated for a brief moment before answering. "Is... is that a royal order, Princess Antares?"

"Let me discuss it with the other princesses."

Soaring Skies quietly sighed and nodded. "Very well. Have a good day, Princess Antares."

"And to you as well."

Soaring Skies bowed once again, and I opened the door for her. Lieutenant Rapids waited on the other side, and she escorted Soaring Skies down the hall. I watched her go, my mind digesting everything that had just occurred. After she disappeared around the bend, I took a deep breath and walked back into the room to gather some writing supplies. Celestia and Luna would want to know about the minotaurs, and that the Las Pegasopolan weapons dealers were getting bold.

The Balance of Power

I sent a letter to Celestia and Luna telling them about my meeting with Soaring Skies right away, but our conflicting schedules meant that we couldn't meet until the following week. I managed to get enough time off to fly to Canterlot the following Saturday. When I arrived, the three of us went straight to the private meeting room. We had... a lot to discuss, and if I was right, and I had no reason to suspect that I wasn't, then our conversation might affect the course of our nation for decades, if not centuries.

But hey, we're princesses. Excuse my little joke, but that's called Tuesday.

Celestia poured the three of us some water, and I took some notes out of a small folder I had brought with me. I laid them out in front of me and accepted the water to start the meeting.

"So, we read your report, Antares," Luna began. "'Twas most disconcerting."

I took a sip of the water and nodded. "Yes, yes I would imagine that a lot of what I had to say in it was disconcerting. The question is, what do we do about all of it?" I motioned down to my notes. "The way I see it, we have a major internal issue, and another potential major external issue on our hooves. My question to you is which is the more pressing of the two? The Las Pegasopolan arms dealers are getting truly bold if they think that we can just wrest control of the army from the nobility and hoof it to them without any problems."

"'Twill never happen," Luna muttered. "The nobility have been directly tied into the military since before my leave, and bold arms dealers or not, We do not think that We can take control away from them so easily."

"As nice as that would be." Celestia sighed and shook her head. "To me the more pressing issue is the minotaur unification. Given that Las Pegasopolan arms dealers heard whispers about it before we did, I wonder how serious the claims really are."

I shrugged with my wings. "I can't say for sure. Though on that note, I did say that I would discuss it with the two of you, whether or not to give them an order, on any investigations they make before selling weapons are given to us."

Both of my fellow princesses grimaced and exchanged an uneasy glance at that. Celestia rubbed the back of her neck and clicked her tongue. "I am unsure if that is a wise move, TD, but I can see where you are coming from in that. On the one hoof, we need to know about any threat to our nation, and that is one more source, but on the other..."

"The Las Pegasopolan arms dealers will react adversely to that order, We think, and do their best to circumvent it in any way that they can," Luna finished.

"Yeah, I figured." I took a quill and ink and jotted that down on the sheet with my Las Pegasus notes. "So, what do you suggest we do, then? We can't ignore the fact that they find out about things like this before we do, on top of the fact that they don't see the big picture as well as we do, so they may look at a report and not see a threat there, when there really is one."

"A conundrum to be sure." Luna tapped her jaw. "A spy perhaps?"

Celestia shook her head. "If that ever got out, it would be a public relations disaster. Any other large corporation would immediately go on a changeling hunt for any more potential spies of ours."

"So what, then?" I questioned. "So we just give the order and catch a few important details that help national security but irk the Las Pegasopolan arms dealers, or do we let them be and potentially not catch anything when it arises because they misinterpreted some data?"

"We will have to discuss that at a later date, I think." Celestia levitated her own writing materials over to her and began jotting some things down. "To me the minotaur unification is the far more serious issue. While they are getting bold in their moves for more power, Las Pegasus is still loyal to us. A unified minotaur kingdom would not be, particularly since many of the larger clans have alliances with Aepnet."

"Do any of them have alliances with us?" I tilted my head. "That would make unification a lot more difficult, don't you think?"

Celestia shook her head. "No. We don't. It's not for a lack of trying, but we have no allies within the minotaur clans. We've had a rather... rocky past with the minotaurs. We've had several small wars that have resulted in the near annihilation of some of their important clans, not to mention some towns and cities of ours. No, they do not trust us even now."

"Hence their alliances with Aepnet," I guessed. "We've had a similarly rocky past with them, yes?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes, but we've gotten a little better." I saw a slight grimace cross her face. "For what that's worth."

"All of that aside, sister, We think that the proper course of action is to gather intelligence on just who is trying to unite the clans, why, and with what tactics, then see how to get involved, or even if we should," Luna said. "If a powerful warlord is attempting to take over by creating a bloody civil war until he is the last one standing and all others bow to him, then we should certainly stay out of it."

"While I agree with that assessment, I do not think that is the case this time, given historical precedent." Celestia looked down at her notes and idly tapped her two front hooves together. "Many, many warlords have tried that in the past, and all have failed. No, I think that this time, whomever is attempting to unite the clans, is doing so through diplomacy."

"Or a common enemy," I said.

Celestia glanced up at me, an eyebrow raised. "Oh?"

I nodded. "Yep, and I think that common enemy is us, maybe even me more specifically. Soaring Skies said that the reason that the clans are attempting to unite in the first place is because they're scared of Equestria now that a third alpha alicorn has taken the throne and created her own effective army. She said that others noticed what I did with those griffin raiders, and it worried some of the minotaur clans." I sighed and tapped the table. "If I know my history back on Earth, it's that nothing unites people like a common enemy. Soaring Skies thought that the minotaurs were uniting because they thought that we might take over, or install puppet leaders."

"A completely ridiculous notion!" Luna scoffed. "Why would we do such a thing?"

"To get places like Schunie under our control."

Celestia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "As if the most economically prosperous nation on the planet would need to take Schunie."

"Yeah, well, that's what they seem to believe, given my appearance and the creation of my forces." I gathered my notes together and put them back in a stack. "So, I guess the question is what do we do about it? Do we send a delegation to the minotaurs to talk to them about all of this?" And maybe start trying to create some human weaponry in case of Equestrian World War One?

"Perhaps." Celestia 'hmmed' and tapped her jaw. "To be fair, this information is just based on one Las Pegasopolan arms dealer that you spoke with. While I have little reason to doubt her, I suppose, we cannot act on this just by her word. we must gather information of our own."

"Fair enough," I said, "and then what do we do if this turns out to be real?"

"Then we send a delegation consisting of myself and you, to whomever is leading the attempts at minotaur unification." Celestia stood up from her seat, and Luna and I followed suit. "We do need to keep an eye on Las Pegasus, but I think they are the lesser of the two problems. I will determine the validity of the minotaur unification attempts, and we shall determine what exactly to do from there."

"Agreed," Luna and I said at the same time.

I have to say, I despised how complicated all of this was getting. If the rumors of minotaur unification were true, and, like Celestia said, I had no doubt that they were, I had a bad feeling about all of this. If the minotaurs fear us as much as the rumors say, on top of the fact that the griffons would ally with them over us, then it might not be a matter of if there will be a world war, but when.

The rumors were true. The minotaurs had begun uniting.

Celestia sent some preliminary delegations to some of the smaller clans who didn't quite know who they would be allied with, and the news always came back the same: two of the larger clans joined forces, and then gathered many of the other clans to them to unite into one large minotaur kingdom with the largest clan at the head, and its clan leader as the king. Schunie looked like the frontrunner for the capital city of the new minotaur lands, which didn't surprise me. But yeah, it looked like my hypothesis was correct: they were unifying because they shared a common threat now that a third alpha alicorn ruled in Equestria with a decent army.

So Celestia and I traveled to Schunie by chariot to speak with the minotaur leader responsible for the unification of his people. Four hours in and the two of us hadn't spoken two words to each other, and Schunie appeared on the horizon. I took a deep breath as I saw the tiny forms of armored minotaurs marching into the walled city, and rather got the impression that the two of us were going into a lion's den. I glanced over at Celestia, and noticed that she was looking at me.

"Are you nervous, TD?"

I scoffed and nodded. "Hard not to be when my ascension is what triggered all of this. They look like they're preparing for war, and I think that would be a rather destructive conflict, don't you?"

Celestia gave me a small smile and put a wing around my shoulders. "You mustn't blame yourself, TD. Do not see all of this as your fault. The minotaurs have been trying to unite on and off for centuries. This is just the latest attempt."

"Yeah, well, it was brought on by my ascension. Besides, have any attempts ever brought Equestria close to war?"

"Yes, once or twice." Celestia squeezed me with her wing and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't worry, TD. We'll figure this out in a way that does not lead to mass violence."

I sighed and gave a subtle nod. "Yeah. I guess." I looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you nervous?"

Celestia chuckled and looked over at the rapidly approaching city. "Terrified."

Great.

Within fifteen minutes, the two of us found ourselves coming in for a landing over the city, and I got my first look of the place that the minotaurs seemed so certain we wanted. It... kind of underwhelmed me compared to most pony cities. I mean no disrespect to the minotaurs, but the city seemed to be mostly just wooden shops and inns and such. It kind of reminded me of the setup of a renaissance fair, in all honesty. A stereotypical medieval village. I know that most of the wealth of the clans was here, but... we didn't need this city to be richer. It looked roughly the size of Baltimare.

Not that the minotaurs seemed likely to believe us, of course.

The chariot touched down near the largest building in the place, one of the few made out of brick instead of wood, I noticed, and I saw a group of at least fifty minotaurs standing outside of the building, all dressed in full black armor and carrying various weapons. An intimidation tactic, no doubt. They wanted to show us that they weren't a force to be trifled with. Well, I had worse welcomes to places.

As Celestia and I stepped off of the chariot, the door to the building opened, and a minotaur dressed in black armor, sans helmet, though, stepped out and walked up to the two of us. He gave us a small bow, which we returned.

"Greetings Princess Celestia and Princess Antares of Equestria. It is my honor to welcome you to our glorious city of Schunie. I am Bludworth, and I am here to be your guide for today." He bowed again, as well as he could in his full armor, that is, and motioned to the building. "Please join me in city hall. Our leader is most anxious to speak with you."

"And we to him," Celestia said. "We hope to resolve any bad blood that our two nations may have quickly and peacefully."

"I am glad to hear it," Bludworth said as we began following him inside. I glanced back at the second chariot we brought, carrying our captains and a few of our servants. I saw Captain Blaze help Tulip out of the chariot holding a half dozen of my and Celestia's ground-bound soldiers, and both of them trot to catch up to me once they had their hooves on the ground. The pegasi soldiers that we brought landed beside them, and moved to flank the two of us. Content that my support arrived safely, I turned my attention back to Bludworth.

"I do not wish for strife between our nations any more than you do, Princess Celestia but..." Bludworth hesitated for a moment as we walked up a flight of stairs. "Our leader might not be so willing to avoid war as I'm sure you're aware."

"Yes, we've heard tell that he is worried about Princess Antares and her forces, but I assure you, it is simply a protection force for both Princess Antares and the good citizens of Baltimare, not a major addition to our standing army."

"Perhaps," Bludworth said with a shrug, "but it's a good protection force, if that incident with the griffin raiders is to be believed. Not a single casualty on either side, or from the civilians from a fighting force that had never seen battle before?" Bludworth glanced back at me and gave me a single nod. "My compliments. You trained them well."

I returned his nod, but remained silent.

"And that's the problem," Bludworth said, returning his attention back to Celestia. "Our leader feels that with a force so well trained, and a princess who trains them so well, you could be a threat to our national security. I hope you are able to convince him otherwise. I think a war between our nations would be long, costly, and far bloodier than either one of us would like."

"And I agree." We reached the top of the stairs, revealing a hallway flanked by more armed and armored troops, and a doorway at the end. I glanced down at Tulip who eyed the guards with some apprehension, and I gave her a comforting smile.

"This is just a diplomatic mission," I muttered to her. "Nothing to be worried about. At worse we'll all shout at each other."

"And a war will start," Tulip muttered in reply.

I shook my head. "Nah, Celestia's a better diplomat than that. We don't want a war. There is truly no reason for one. Just do your job, and we'll handle the nasty stuff, okay? It's gonna be fine."

Tulip nodded, but I noticed her glance up at the armed guards again. They made for an unnerving sight, I'll admit, but they wouldn't do anything. Celestia and I would massacre them.

I think.

We reached the doorway and Bludworth grasped the door handle. Before opening it, he turned to us, a grim expression on his face. "I do not want war, and I know that you do not either. Our leader may. I trust that you are great diplomats, and I hope that we can come to a peaceful resolution to all of this. I know that you do not desire Schunie. If you can convince him of that, then I think we shall be far better off."

Celestia tilted her head in a single nod. "Of course. We shall do what we can."

Bludworth returned the nod and, with nothing more to say, opened the door.

The first word that came to my mind when I saw that minotaur leader was... smug.

Charming.

He sat upon a simple iron throne, and had six guards on either side of him, similarly armed and armored as the ones that we had been seeing since our arrival. He wore a cloak of what appeared to be wolf skin, and held a long, sharp spear. He didn't have a crown on his head, but I figured that he expected that to come soon enough. To top it all off, he wore just the most punchable grin ever. Seriously, I saw it and just wanted to sock him right in the jaw, and not just because, well, I have a history of that kind of thing.

Celestia and I reached his throne and both gave him small bows and waited for him to begin speaking, as good manners dictated, seeing as we were his guests. The minotaur leader shifted in his seat, but did not start talking.

Ah, so it was going to be like that, was it?

Having pulled the move myself, I knew that his silence meant that he wanted us to know that he was the one in charge. That we were lucky to just be allowed in his presence, and that we should really stay bowing.

Like I said: really, really smug and punchable.

After a solid minute of that, the minotaur leaned back in his throne and pointed his spear at me. "Princess Antares." He moved it over to Celestia. "Princess Celestia. I am called Purgle, formerly of clan Banag, and soon to be king over all of the minotaurs. We have much to discuss."

I noticed that he never said "welcome," showing that we really were not, and only by his "mercy" were we in Schunie at all.

"We do indeed have much to discuss," Celestia said. "I have heard tell that you have worries that Equestria has its sights set on acquiring Schunie and the other cities like it, either through military force or through other means. I would like to say that we have no such desires, and that should the minotaurs unite, we will of course recognize its legitimacy as a country."

"I see. I see." Purgle began drumming his fingers on the shaft of his spear. "And you would recognize me as the king of the newly formed country?"

"Should you be crowned as such, yes."

"Hmm." Purgle narrowed his eyes and leaned forward a touch. "And what assurances do I have that your words carry even a kernel of truth to them? How do I know that you aren't just telling me what I want to hear?"

"Why would I lie?" Celestia said with an evenness that I might not have had were I speaking to him right now.

"To lull me into a false sense of security of course! Be honest, Celestia, if you were going to take over Schunie, however slim a chance that may be, you wouldn't tell me that you were. You'd tell me the opposite, just as you are doing now."

"Yes, but you are forgetting that taking over Schunie would doubtlessly trigger a large war." A hint of a smile graced Celestia's lips. "Why would I want to lead Equestria into a war?"

"Because now you think that you have the might to pull it off." Purgle pointed his spear at me, and I became a touch grateful that the two of us stood far enough away that we were out of his reach. "I've heard the rumors about her army, Celestia. Her guards are a capable fighting force."

I snorted and took a half step forwards. "And I was just supposed to go halfway in creating my guard? Or not create one at all?" I raised my eyebrow and looked around to his armed guards. "Seemed kind of hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Let's not be insolent, Antares," Purgle said coolly, "I'm merely stating facts. A third godlike alpha alicorn ascended to the throne, and when you did, you increased the size of Equestria's military with a group that has shown itself to be somewhat capable. Not only that, but from what my intelligence has told me, you come from a planet that was far more warlike than even we minotaurs are, with weapons that could level cities." Purgle's smug smile returned, and he began drumming his fingers on his spear again. "I'm right, am I not?"

I narrowed my eyes, but grunted and nodded.

"Exactly. So, a third god sits on Equestria's throne, one who knows how to create super-weapons, and creates a decent fighting force. I don't need to tell you why my country would find that unnerving."

"I don't suppose you do, though tell me..." I gave a slight smirk of my own. "How many of these super-weapons have you seen? Or even heard of? Or know for a fact were created? Zero, am I correct?"

"Nevertheless, you can create them, and that's what worries me."

"It shouldn't. Equestria has absolutely no desire to go to war with you."

"And if we did go to war?" Purgle tightened his grip on his spear. "Would you create these super-weapons to beat us quickly?"

"It would be unwise to give you any semblance of a military strategy we may have in the event of a war between our countries; a war that, I must stress again we have no desire for," Celestia said. "Would you like to give us your country's military secrets and strategies?"

Purgle remained silent for a few moments before leaning back on his throne again and slamming the end of the spear on the ground. "That is as good as a confirmation to me. You may not want Schunie but in the event of war between our nations, I believe that Antares would give you the secrets to powerful weapons to destroy us." He glanced over at me, his eyes narrowed to slits. "You're dangerous Antares. Too dangerous, some might believe."

"You're still ignoring the question of just why we would want war with a unified minotaur nation Purgle," I growled.

"Because we are a threat to your thousands of years of hegemony." Purgle pointed with his spear in the direction of Equestria. "Be honest: even with your new troops and super-weapons, could you win a war with us? You think you could, and so you'd defeat us quickly to ensure your hegemony remains."

"Baseless accusations Purgle." Celestia scoffed. "What have we done exactly to give you this idea?"

"You deliberately created a fourth princess." Purgle shrugged. "Oh, your precious gemstones may not have been aiming for the human, but you set out to create a fourth princess regardless; a princess that would also have created her own army, correct?" Pugle's smug smile widened even further. "Admit it, Celestia, Your plan from the start was to strengthen Equestria with a fourth princess and more troops to go with it."

Celestia snorted and narrowed her eyes. "No. What my plans were with my student are none of your concern, then or now, and I do not wish to stand here anymore and listen to such baseless accusations. Neither you nor Schunie has anything to fear from us. Even now after all of the insults you have slung at us, Equestria will still recognize your kingship, should that come to be, and the legitimacy of your country. Unless you have something else, I feel that we are done here."

Purgle continued smirking at us, but subtly shook his head.

"Very well. I hope that our countries avoid war, now and in the future."

With that, Celestia and I turned around and walked out of the room, leaving Purgle alone with his stupid delusions. I for one couldn't wait to get back home where I could just relax for a little while. I had made sure to set aside a little time for after the meeting for myself, because I knew that it would be stressful.

I... underestimated just how bad things were between Equestria and the minotaurs.

I looked down at Tulip, who was struggling to keep pace with Celestia. "Can you write a letter for Princess Luna telling her about what happened? I think that she'll want to know right away."

"Of course, princess."

"Good." I looked back over to Celestia and didn't notice the slight grimace on her face. I waited until we were out of the city hall to speak to her about it. "That could have gone better."

"I did not think that he was that delusional, TD," Celestia growled, motioning for the pegasi pulling the chariots to begin preparations for takeoff. "He's warmongering, I'm sure of it. He wants war between our nations, and will go to whatever lengths he can to make it happen."

"But why? What can he possibly gain from that?"

"Legitimacy, I imagine." Celestia herded me into the chariot, and the pegasi began running forward to takeoff. "If we get in a war and he wins it, he will be king. No one will challenge his legitimacy."

"Yeah, but we'll wipe him out!"

"Maybe." Celestia frowned and stared at the chariot floor as we got into the air, silent for a few moments. "Do you?"

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head. "Do I what?"

"Do you have the knowledge to create super-weapons?"

"Er..." I cleared my throat and uneasily rubbed the back of my neck. "That's... complicated. Could I go back to Baltimare and within a night have a machine gun ready for field use? No, I couldn't. Did I learn the ingredients that went into gunpowder in some science class, the basic design of a gun in a history class, and now that I'm an alicorn I can recall all of that way easier?" I gave a grimace of my own. "Yeah."

"So you can create these super-weapons?"

"You would call them super-weapons. On Earth they're just kind of mundane. That aside... yes, yes I think that I could given the right scientists and time."

"And what would happen if you managed to create these 'machine guns' and we took them to battle?"

I started feeling sick to my stomach, and I looked down at the ground going by. "Well... if they worked as well as they do on Earth, then... well, any minotaur army that went up against a pony force armed with machine guns would be wiped out. Fast."

"I see." Celestia looked up at me, her eyes unblinking. "So Purgle, in a way, is right."

"I guess," I mumbled.

"Hmm." Celestia looked out into the horizon in the direction of Canterlot. "TD, I don't want you making these weapons. I think that the effect that they would have on the world would be too costly."

I nodded. "Yeah, I agree."

"I would, however, like you to join me in my bedchambers when we land in Canterlot." I looked over to Celestia and saw that her frown had been replaced with a slight smirk. "Or do you have other things to do?"

I returned her smirk and straightened up a little. "Even if I did, I wouldn't now." I looked in the direction of Canterlot, hoping that we'd land soon. "I mean, if--"

My smirk fell, and my eyes widened when I saw something coming the other way. Celestia noticed my shift in mood and frowned, tilting her head as she did. "TD? What's wrong?"

I raised a hoof and pointed at the object that was beginning to pass us. It was a chariot, just like ours, but it didn't carry ponies. It carried griffins. Griffin royalty, to be specific.

More specifically Emperor Aepnet, whom I'd bet my crown was going to meet Purgle.

Author's Notes:

With the publication of this chapter, this is now the longest story I have ever written.

So yeah.

Surrounded by Rats

Aepnet meeting the minotaurs.

The minotaurs clearly warmongering.

Las Pegasus arms dealers getting too bold.

Me and my adopted nation stuck right in the middle of it, which just might be the whole point now that I think about it.

I picked the best time to ascend, didn't I? Of course, half of this is because I ascended, so I guess there was no perfect time to ascend. Well, maybe when Kathyrine was on the throne.

Hmm, would it be wrong of me to assassinate Purgle and Aepnet? Would that solve everything? I don't know. I never know about any of this nonsense. Coming up on two and a half years into my reign, and... gosh, I just don't have all of this figured out yet.

Although, if Celestia was to be believed, I likely never truly would.

It had been a week since the meeting with Purgle, and I had to admit that none of us were optimistic about our chances with avoiding some sort of conflict, particularly if Aepnet threw his hat into the ring. Princess Cadance's Blade Wings worked around the clock to figure out just what in the bloody blue Tartarus Aepnet and Purgle were up to, but were met with limited success. We had nothing solid to go on, which is the opposite of what we needed.

Meanwhile I began wondering if I shouldn't actually gather together a few scientists and engineers to create some human weaponry. If push came to shove came to war, I wanted to be on the side that won quickly, and if that meant human weaponry...

I'd think about that later. But later might become soon if things got worse with the minotaurs.

Oy. Alicorns don't really get headaches, but if we did, I'm sure I'd have a really nice one right now.

The week after the meeting with Purgle found me sitting in one of my private studies, reading over some Blade Wing reports about minotaur movements. We wanted to know what the heck Purgle was up to. I sighed, regretting that I didn't see anything too useful, and pushed the documents aside. Maybe Celestia or Luna would have better luck with them.

I took a sip from the water goblet that I had beside me, and noticed for the first time that my stomach was growling and likely had been for some time, given how long I had been in here. I clicked my tongue and looked down at it. "Yeah, let's go get some food." I stood up and began walking towards the kitchens. "What sounds good today? A five course meal, or grilled cheese and tomato soup?"

Just as I reached the end of the room, my horn firing up to twist the doorknob of the door that would have led me in the general direction of the kitchens, I heard a trio of loud, sharp knocks. I grimaced and sighed, but, considering the political climate, I figured it might be important. My stomach would have to wait, it seemed. I trotted over to the other door and opened it a crack, peering down at what turned out to be Tulip, who bowed when she saw me open the door.

"Yes, Ms. Tulip?"

"Princess Antares, you have a visitor here to see you. It's the Las Pegasus delegate again. She wishes for a follow-up to your last meeting. I put her in one of the conference rooms, but should I tell her you're busy?"

I quietly groaned and rubbed one of my temples, but shook my head. "No, I was just about to have some lunch, though. If at all possible, can you tell Chef Fillet to make me two, no, three grilled cheese sandwiches and some of his finest tomato soup?"

Tulip bowed low again, and I fully opened the door to follow her to the conference room. "Of course, Princess Antares. Also, there is one more matter that I feel must be brought to your attention."

"Yes?"

"That griffin warlord, Sinosis was his name, right? Well, there was a breakout in the griffin jail where he was incarcerated, and..." Tulip flattened her ears when she saw a glare cross my face directed at nothing in particular. "Well... they can't find him. He escaped."

"Of course he did." I scoffed and shook my head. "Of course he did. Because why not? Why not give me that to deal with on top of everything else?" I sighed. "Have Princess Celestia and Princess Luna been made aware of this?"

Tulip nodded. "Yes, the message I received was from Princess Celestia. She's been in contact with Emperor Aepnet about it, but he refuses to say too much, saying that it's a griffin matter. He did say that they know he's still in Griffonia, though."

"I'll hope for it, but take it with a grain of salt." I clicked my tongue as we reached the conference room. "Just what I needed."

"If it helps, I'll tell Chef Fillet to make the soup and sandwiches extra good today."

I smirked and gave a single chuckle with a trace of humor. "Be sure to. I don't see this meeting going amazingly well either."

Tulip bowed to me again and trotted off in the direction of the kitchens, leaving me to stew over the fact that nothing had gone right since I saw this stupid delegate last. Purgle and Aepnet nudging Equestria towards war, and now Sinosis is out and about to wreak havoc? Well, I guess he can do whatever he wants, just as long as he stays far away from Equestria, which my gut tells me he just won't do. I'm going to have to see what troops I can spare to patrol the forest where he stationed himself last time, but I already know that I won't be able to spare too many. Maybe I can talk to Celestia and Luna about it, or something.

With nothing else for it, I open the door to the conference room and see Soaring Skies, my absolute favorite Las Pegasus delegate, sitting on one of the chairs at the table. She quickly slides off of the chair and sinks into a bow when she sees that I'm the one who's come in. I let her continue bowing until I've sat down.

"Ms. Skies, it's nice to see you again." Sometimes being a princess means lying.

Soaring Skies stood up, and gave me a small smile. "Thank you, Princess Antares. I find it lovely to be in your presence again as well." I saw her gaze flicker over to her chair, and I motioned to it. She nodded in thanks and took her seat once more. "I hope that you are well."

"As well as I can be, I suppose."

"Indeed, what with the minotaurs and the griffins doing what they're doing, I imagine that you are under much strain."

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my forelegs. "And what exactly would you know about the minotaurs and griffins, Ms. Skies?"

"You know that ponies in my line of work have to keep their eyes and ears open, Princess Antares. With the minotaurs and griffins both trying to get whatever weapons of ours that they can, it behooves us to keep a close eye on them."

So the minotaurs and griffins were arming. I didn't really like that piece of news, but I couldn't deny its importance.

"Your spy network rivals that of the Blade Wings, Ms. Skies. Any other important information that you'd like to share? Keep in mind that we are talking about national security here."

"Well..." Soaring Skies hesitated for a moment. "I think that the minotaurs want war no matter what. Any victories that Purgle achieves over a pony force will increase his claim to a minotaur throne, and the griffins seem to be backing him up. Our informants estimate that, if everything stays peaceful and on its current path, the minotaurs will be united into a full kingdom within two years." Soaring Skies reached a hoof out to me. "Princess Antares, you know what we need to do with our military before the minotaurs become one nation. If we begin as soon as possible, I think that we can have our forces ready by the time the minotaur clans unite."

"I think you are only considering one side of this, Ms. Skies. The nobility's squabbling over having the military, an organization that they've controlled for centuries. If removed from their control, it would mean re-organizing that would take far longer than the two years you think it would."

"Not if we act quickly and effectively, with you princesses behind the effort!" Soaring Skies crossed her own forelegs. "They wouldn't dare openly challenge you, would they?"

I shook my head. "No, they wouldn't. They'd find far more subtle, damaging ways to challenge us, and we can't be trying to control the nobility and re-organize the military all while trying to avoid a costly war. Maybe in peacetime this plan of yours would be more feasible, but for now, it's just too much."

"But Princess Antares, if our military is weak when the war begins, then we will be at a disadvantage! The minotaurs and griffins will not be so weak, I assure you."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah, because the nobility baloney that's a problem with our military is in no way prevalent in the griffin military, and the fact that only two years prior, the minotaur army was made up of separate clans won't be an issue whatsoever."

That got her quiet. Soaring Skies could only look down at the ground while I stared at her, a slight glare on my face that she actually had the gall to come back and once again demand control of the Equestrian army.

"Look, I appreciate your concern, I suppose, but I find it highly unwarranted. Yes, the political climate is a bit... unstable, but if you think for a moment that Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and I are not going to do everything that we can to keep Equestria safe, you are sorely mistaken."

"I do, Princess Antares, I truly do," Soaring Skies muttered. "It's just that me and my compatriots in my field worry about everything, that's all."

"You needn't, you really do not need to." I stood up, and Soaring Skies was quick to copy my move. "Now, I have other things to attend to, so I'm afraid I must end this meeting. I'm afraid that I cannot accept your request to begin removing the military from the hooves of the nobility. I'm sorry, but, while I would like to, it's not the right climate for it."

"I suppose I understand, Princess Antares," Soaring Skies muttered.

"Also, I spoke last time with you about it giving the crown a copy of all of the results of your investigations of the weapons deals. I have come to the conclusion that I would like you to do that." Sparing Skies noticeably flinched, but I ignored it. "I know you might not be completely fond of the idea, but it is truly a matter of national security at this point. You have demonstrated several times that you find out important things quickly, and we need that as much as we can."

"So that's a direct order, is it, Princess Antares?" Soaring Skies muttered.

I nodded. "Yes, yes it is. I expect copies of all of your findings from the past two months to be sent to me or the throne in Canterlot within a week."

Soaring Skies didn't respond for a few moments. She just stared at the ground as if I had told her that she needed to chop off her wings and wrap them in a box for me. I understood that I was playing with fire, interfering with Las Pegasus like this, but I'd rather play with fire here than let other, bigger fires spread.

Finally, Soaring Skies slowly nodded and managed to look up at me. "Y-yes, Princess Antares. I will, of course, give you the documents you desire. I will let my colleagues know of your order."

"Please do." I walked over to the door and opened it with my magic. "Now, I must get to my other duties, so I will speak with you later, Ms. Skies."

"Indeed you will, Princess Antares." Soaring Skies bowed to me again. "I wish you the best."

"And I to you."

With that, I exited the room, leaving Soaring Skies to stew with her thoughts. I have to say that the meeting went as well as I could have hoped for; which is to say, not very well at all, really, but it didn't dissolve into a declaration of open rebellion. I could only hope that Las Pegasus would be obedient to my order and that their reports would give us some critical piece of information that could help us in our time of political strife.

Because when have I ever been that lucky? But a guy can dream, right?

The Assassination of TD the Alicorn Princess

Months. That's how much time passed with the minotaurs, griffins, and Las Pegasopolan weapons dealers quiet. I found myself rather surprised by the whole thing, but I couldn't really complain. It gave the Equestrian crown a little time to catch our breath. What Blade Wings could be spared still looked into the griffins and the minotaurs almost around the clock, but we still couldn't get clear details of what they were planning beyond what we could guess anyway. I didn't like being in the dark when the gray storm clouds of war gathered on the horizon, but at the very least, they hadn't turned black yet, nor drawn close enough to Equestria to be an immediate threat.

We were just 85% sure it was going to end up like that unless we played the greatest game of peace politics ever.

Four and a half months after the meeting with Purgle, of which there had been no further discussion, I spent the day sitting on my throne reading reports from Las Pegasus about griffins. Boring things, really, but they were important, and we did discern a few previously unknown details from them. Probably not enough to avoid at least some violent conflict, though, and I began wondering if I shouldn't disobey Celestia's commands to make human weapons.

I had... already started some designs for guns. Nothing too elaborate or numerous, but when a princess is up at night worried about war...

Er, well, anyway, I don't suppose it matters, really. I hoped we'd avoid all of that, and as a result, we'd have no need for guns.

I took a deep breath and set the reports from Las Pegasus down next to my throne. There wasn't anything useful in these particular reports. They hadn't been selling too much to minotaurs and griffins. Mostly to their contracts in Saddle Arabia. Mesud began beefing up his army when he got wind of all of this nonsense.

I looked down at Sergeant Stones and stretched my wings out a little. "Sergeant, I think that it's time that we took a little bit of a break for now, what do you think?"

Sergeant Stones smirked and gave me a little salute. "Might be nice, Princess Antares. I've got the absolute worst itch right underneath my shoulder guards that has been bothering me for the past hour."

I snorted and stepped off of my throne. "Well you should have just said so. I would have gotten you a stick or something."

Sergeant Stones grimaced and tapped the area of the armor where I assumed he itched. "Not sure it would have helped, Princess. Really at a spot where I couldn't get one in there."

I chuckled while Sergeant Stones, myself, and the third guard, Private Flare, began trotting down a side hallway towards the kitchens. "Well, you can get the armor off when we get something to eat." I frowned and tilted my head. "You know, I so rarely see you without your armor that I don't think I remember what your natural colors are. Your coat and mane are always enchanted to mine."

"Well, if you recall, it's--"

Sergeant Stones was cut off when the clanging of a loud bell rang throughout the castle. We froze in our tracks, and our playful smirks fell as we listened.

This used to be an old army base.

That bell would be used to warn of...

"Come on." I wheeled around and bolted towards my palace's outer balcony. Sergeant Stones and Private Flare ran beside me, keeping up despite their shorter legs and heavy armor.

"Princess Antares, what's wrong?" Private Flare asked. "What's that bell?"

"That bell used to warn of attacks," I replied, my pace quickening when I drew nearer to the balcony. "But it hasn't been rung in a long time. Not for decades."

My mind begged for it to be some trick. To be some exercise or some prankster who got too far in, but as I drew closer and closer to the balcony, tell-tale sounds grew louder in my ears.

Screams. Shouts. Metal clanging against metal.

The sounds of battle.

I bolted to the balcony when it finally registered with me that my palace was under attack, and I reached the doors faster than I ever have. I slammed through them to reach the balcony and, for the first time, looked out on the scene below me.

Griffins. Hundreds of them flocked towards my palace armed and armored. Griffin raiders by the looks of things, but they seemed a little better armed than the ones that I encountered last. They fought my soldiers, who streamed out of the barracks as fast as they could, some of them not even wearing their full armor. Even from here I could see dozens of dead and screaming wounded on both sides. Civilians fled in the opposite direction from my palace, but a few raiders chased after smaller groups, hunting them down without mercy.

And... I froze.

Looking at the carnage before me, knowing that those soldiers, the ones that I picked and trained myself were down there fighting for me, killing for me, dying for me made my brain shut down for a moment. I didn't know where the griffins had come from, only that they were now attacking my palace.

I stumbled to the side, and looked beside me to discover Sergeant Stones, his eyes wide, violently shaking me. Words came out of his mouth, but I didn't hear them. I couldn't register anything. They were dying. We were being attacked. They were here to kill... me.

Sergeant Stones shook me and shouted again, but this time his words came through as my brain started to come back.

"I said what do we do now, Princess Antares? What are your orders?"

I blinked once and looked back down at the death below me. The death. The stench of blood in the air. The screaming. I straightened up and slowly trotted over to the very edge of the balcony. I felt a feeling in my veins that I hadn't felt in a long, long time. Not since that first foal abuser all those years ago.

Rage coursed through me, and when I spoke next, my words would have frozen fire.

"It's simple. The griffins are attacking us. We're going to kill them all."

With that, I spread my massive wings and shot down towards the battlefield like a rocket. When I came close enough to the ground, I ignited my horn and picked up a fallen sword from a dead soldier, not even looking to see which side he was on, and charged towards the nearest griffin. The griffin in question was flying towards a completely unarmored soldier of mine, who valiantly stood his ground with his spear pointed at the ready towards his charging foe. I reached the griffin and raised the sword, just as the griffin realized that something was flanking him. He barely had time to look to see that the third most powerful pony in existence hovered right beside him. With an unholy cry, I swung the sword down as hard as my magical might would allow. The blade turned out to be quite good, and the griffin fell to the ground missing his head.

I didn't stop to consider the fact that I had just killed something. A real, living breathing creature. I took everything from him when I killed him. I didn't care. There were more to kill. More to slaughter. My soldiers, my friends, my ponies needed to be protected. These griffins needed to die. All of them. I sped towards the next griffin I saw and dispatched him just as quickly.

The next griffin I attacked saw me coming, and whirled to face me, his own sword at the ready, and an eager smile on his face. I twirled mine in the air and prepared to attack, but before I could, an arrow lodged itself into the griffin's neck, and he fell to the ground without a sound. I looked over to where the arrow had come from and saw a group of thirty or so pegasi in the air, covering their ground-bound counterparts from above. The pause gave me time to notice that Sergeant Stones and Private Flare had both flown down to flank me, their wing blades at the ready.

"Princess Antares, this is getting out of hoof!" Sergeant Stones yelled. "They're after you! If you're out here, the enemy is going to notice you soon!"

"I'm not abandoning my soldiers, Sergeant!" I roared back. "I'll fight alongside them as I should!"

A crossbow bolt whizzed past my ear and lodged itself into a griffin that happened to be charging us. Even if the attack was meant to destroy my army, I couldn't deny that they'd go for me.

Well, if they could truly hurt me, that is.

"They can't hurt me for long, Sergeant." I turned around and readied my sword, but before I could attack, I noticed another loud noise echo throughout the battlefield. At first I thought another griffin army had come to attack us, but when I turned to the source, I saw who really came to defend us.

Civilians.

At least two hundred civilian ponies charged into the fray, armed with any makeshift weapons that they could get their hooves on. Kitchen knives, metal pans, pitchforks, hammers, anything they could use to come to the defense of their princess. My eyes widened and my heart twisted into a million knots.

"No," I whimpered. "No, no, no, no, no."

As I feared, once the griffin forces noticed the easier kills, a smaller force broke off from the main attacking army and came to meet the reinforcements. I spun around to the crossbow ponies and pointed at the griffins attacking the civilians.

"Fire! Protect the civilians! Kill the griffins!"

The crossbow pegasi raised their weapons and began firing into the griffins, felling many, but not enough. Not enough! I spread my wings and flew towards the civilians, hoping that my presence could protect some of them and prevent a total slaughter of my ponies.

The two sides smashed together in a sickening noise of steel and flesh. I contemplated firing sparks into the air to rally my soldiers, but it would also have the dual effect of alerting the remaining griffins of not only my presence, but of far easier targets as well. Myself and my two bodyguards entered the fray, along with a paltry dozen or so soldiers who noticed the civilians.

I swung wildly with my sword, slicing griffins left and right. Some strikes ended up fatal, some less so. All I could think about was protecting the civilian soldiers that had so foolishly decided to enter the battle. To make matters worse, more came every minute.

All of a sudden, I heard the sound of a crossbow bolt whizzing towards me, and I turned just in time to catch it in my magic. I looked around for the perpetrator so that I could end him, and that's when I saw him.

Sinosis.

He flew at rooftop level, flanked by two griffins, one loading a crossbow, and the other holding a long spear that even from here I could see stained with blood. Sinosis himself carried a sleek black crossbow, loaded with a similarly designed arrow. My eyes narrowed as Sinosis gave me a little condescending wave before flying to the balcony and into the palace.

My staff. He was going after my staff!

The civilians at least had weapons, but even three griffins could kill as many unarmed ponies as they wanted. Once again I took wing and flew towards the castle, my mind not even thinking about calling for reinforcements. I just wanted him dead. Sinosis caused all of this! Because of him, I had to watch my soldiers die around me!

I was going to thoroughly enjoy putting his head on a spike outside of my castle, along with every other griffin I slew here today. Maybe I could make a pyramid out of their headless corpses, just to show them that I'd destroy all who attempted to kill me.

"Princess Antares!"

I glanced to my side and noticed that Sergeant Stones and Private Flare still flanked me ,both of their wing blades stained crimson.

"Princess Antares, where are you going?" Sergeant Stones cried. "There are still more griffins!"

"It's Sinosis!" I pointed in the direction he had gone. "He's going to slaughter everypony he can find in there!"

The three of us touched down on the balcony and ran inside the palace. The first thing I saw was two cleaning mares, both huddled against a wall and clasped around each other like the world was about to end and they were the only two ponies left alive. They lay in pools of their own blood where Sinosis had slaughtered them.

Fresh rage coursed through my blood again, and I noticed a bloody paw print going down the hall to the right. I bolted down the hallway, finding two more dead servants. I noticed his direction quickly enough.

"He's headed to the throne room!" I called to my guards as I turned onto the hallway leading to it, seeing another dead servant pony leaned up against the wall. Every dead unarmed staff member of mine increased the rage that I felt, and my speed quickened until I almost began flying towards my destination. My sword would do little good in the hallway, but in the spaced out throne room, I could move with ease. Not that he could hurt me too badly anyway.

I reached the door to the throne room and saw that the double doors were open just a crack. I poured more magic into my horn and threw them both open, charging into my throne room to rip the bastard in half.

I saw Sinosis standing in front of my throne, that smug smile still on his face.

I heard the twang and hiss of a crossbow being fired.

Then pain.

Pain like I never imagined.

Time froze, and my horn fizzed out, causing my sword to clatter to the floor. I stood as still as a statue, barely registering the screams and sounds of steel on flesh on either side of me. Every breath felt like I'd been smashed in the ribs with a sledgehammer, but I couldn't even flinch. Slowly I looked down and saw the black arrow from Sinosis' crossbow embedded halfway into my chest. My blood flowed from the wound, dripping onto the floor and staining my chestplate.

My blood.

I... hadn't seen my blood in a long time.

My knees gave way and I collapsed onto the floor. My tiara fell off of my head with a loud clang, causing me to flinch ever so slightly. The impact caused the arrow to slide into me another half inch, eliciting a small groan from me. I felt powerful claws grab my forelegs, and I became aware that I was being dragged forward. I couldn't find the strength to try to wiggle out of the grasp of the two griffins holding me. After a moment, they roughly threw me to the floor, and I twitched when I impacted. I became vaguely aware of some odd noise echoing throughout my throne room. It sounded like... clapping. With all of the strength I could muster, I slowly raised my head and looked up at Sinosis, who reclined on my throne, that black crossbow in his lap, smiling down at me and clapping.

"Bravo, pony princess. Bravo. Quite the show you put on for me, getting your soldiers killed like that." He straightened up and reached into a small pouch at his side. My eyes widened when I saw what he had produced: another black arrow. "Just charging in here like that. Quite amazing. I would have thought that after your little stunt at my fort a few years back that you would have better strategic sense. You could have used the side door, or sent in your troops first, or something like that." Sinosis shrugged and pulled the crossbow string back to load the black arrow into his weapon. "Still, I guess since I tried to make sure my forces outnumbered yours by a decent amount, you couldn't really spare many of your precious pony toy soldiers to come after me, could you? I'm quite glad your blood lust took over and you had to get me yourself."

Sinosis motioned to one of his griffins, and pointed at something behind me. The griffin saluted, went off, and returned a few seconds later with my tiara. Sinosis grinned and placed it on his own head. "Well, I don't know how it looks on me, but I think it's a little big. Still, not like you'll be needing it, eh?" My ragged breathing and weak twitching was the only response I could give.

Sinosis chuckled and pointed the crossbow at my head. I inadvertently flinched back, and he let out a little giggle. "You afraid of this?" He snorted. "I would be too. It's got to really hurt, doesn't it? It should. One of the very few things out there that can kill a pretty pony princess." Sinosis raised the crossbow into the air and beamed at it. "A... Nightmare Weapon! A weapon designed during the Lunar Rebellion specifically to kill dear old Princess Celestia. It failed when Nightmare Moon couldn't use one on Celestia before Celestia used the Elements, but some survived. I've had my troops looking for one of these ever since I was arrested. Got it off a minotaur weapons collector who didn't even know what he had." Sinosis snorted and tapped the trigger. "Thought it was just some fancy weapon some pony made when he was feeling artistic. If only he knew..."

I gasped for breath and my back arched as another shot of pain went through me. Sinosis looked down at me and gave me his best condescending smile.

"Aww, am I boring you? Or does this hurt more than I could ever imagine? It's the second one, isn't it?" Sinosis and his other griffins chuckled. He then gave a single nod. "Very well. I'll make you a deal, then." Sinosis walked back over to my throne and sat down on it, pointing the crossbow at my head. "Beg. Beg me to end it right here, right now, and if I think you look absolutely wretched enough, I'll put this shot through your skull. Just say 'please, King Sinosis, I beg you to kill me. I know I'm not worthy of your mercy, but I beg you to kill me.'" Sinosis gently fingered the trigger. "It's not that difficult to say, Antares."

I squeezed my eyes shut and moved my hoof to the crossbow bolt, hoping that I could pull it out and maybe recover some of my strength, but the moment the tip of my hoof touched it, another jolt of pain shot through me, and I let out a ear piercing shriek.

"As much as I love hearing you cry and watching you squirm, that's not what I asked you to do." Sinosis stood up and brought the crossbow closer to my head. "Just beg me to end it. You know you want to. This really hurts, doesn't it? You can beg me, or I can put this shot and the next one into your back and just leave you to bleed out."

"N..." I gasped for breath and curled up, but I noticed for the first time a new feeling, like a tiny flame, had appeared inside my chest. I opened my eyes and looked over in the direction of the double doors. Sergeant Stones and Private Flare both laid dead on the ground, Sergeant Stones from a spear wound to the neck, and Private Flare from a crossbow bolt to the chest. Seeing their bodies... made the flame grow larger, and I managed to move with a little less pain.

"You were going to say something, Antares?" Sinosis nudged me with the tip of his crossbow. "Go ahead."

"N..." The feeling began growing more, now, spreading throughout my entire body. My breathing became more rapid. Images began flashing through my mind of my dead soldiers, of my dead staff, of Sinosis, that greasy rat bastard Sinosis sitting on my throne and ordering me to beg him to kill me. I began violently twitching. "N-n-n-n..."

Sinosis clicked his tongue and shouldered his crossbow. "Not long for the world, I think. This looks like death throes to me." He snorted and pointed the crossbow back at my head. "Just say the words and I can make your death that much quicker, pony."

"NO!"

With one more shriek, the fire coursed through my horn, sending a shockwave that sent all three griffins flying. Two hit the wall behind them, while Sinosis smashed into my throne. The fire allowed me to get to my hooves, and with a snarl, I grabbed Sinosis in my magic and flung him against the wall with his companions. I spun around to face him, and when he got up, I noticed something in his eyes that I hadn't seen before.

True, unadulterated fear.

"DO YOU THINK THAT I GROVEL? DO YOU THINK THAT I SNIVEL LIKE SOME WORM?"

I grasped all three griffins in my magic to hold them down and stepped onto my throne. They struggled uselessly in my grip.

"I DO NOT BEND! I DO NOT BREAK! WITH A MERE THOUGHT I DESTROY WRETCHED BEASTS LIKE YOU! I WILL COMMAND ARMIES THAT WILL LAY WASTE TO YOUR HOMES! I WILL BURN CITIES, I WILL DECIMATE HARVESTS, I WILL SALT THE VERY EARTH! I WILL BRING NIGHTMARES TO YOUR PEOPLE THE LIKES OF WHICH WILL BE USED TO FRIGHTEN GENERATIONS UNTIL THE END OF TIME!" With a screech, I smashed all three griffins against the back wall, and even from here, I could hear the sound of armor denting and bones breaking. "ALL WILL DESPAIR WHEN THEY SEE ME! YOUR KIND WILL BEG FOR MERCY, BUT NONE SHALL BE GIVEN! YOUR CHILDREN UNTIL THE END OF DAYS SHALL BE MY SLAVES IF I COMMAND IT, AND YOUR LANDS SHALL BE RUBBLE!"

I levitated the griffins halfway towards me, and slammed them onto the ground, releasing them from my magical grip as I did.

"FOR I AM ANTARES, THE WRATH OF THE STARS, AND I. BOW. TO. NONE!"

A second wave of pure energy came out of my horn, this one far more powerful than the last, and the very walls of my throne room began breaking. The ceiling collapsed, revealing a dark red sky above us. The three griffins screamed like frightened foals, but the time for mercy had long since passed. I stood up on my hind legs, and my mane and tail ignited, becoming pure flame, while my body became like the stars themselves. I sent another burst through my horn and the very sky split open, where a gigantic red star appeared, shining too brightly for any mortal eyes. Before any of the griffins could scream, I poured more power into my horn, and two pillars of flame shot down from the star, completely engulfing the two griffins beside Sinosis. They didn't even have time to scream before the fire burned them away completely, not even leaving ash as evidence that the griffins had existed at all.

I stomped back down on all fours, sending another shockwave through the ground. Apparitions of scorpions scurried all around the floors, and the pillars, and even on what was left of the ceilings and the walls. Sinosis, screaming all the while, kept trying to reach for the Nightmare Weapon, but one foreleg and one hind leg jutted out at odd angles, slowing his crawls. With one final cry, I engulfed my throne in my magic and tore it from its foundations. I raised it high , giving Sinosis only a split-second to realize his fate before I brought it down upon his head with all of my strength.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

And then my magic went out.

My horn fizzled to nothing, my mane and tail extinguished, my body returned to fur, the sky closed and went back to blue, and I found myself with almost no strength again.

My mind went nearly blank. I just knew that I needed to get back to the battle. I needed to help my soldiers win the battle. I killed Sinosis, so we could win now. Using the very last of my strength, I ignited my horn and began dragging what was left of Sinosis behind me towards the balcony where I had seen the battle begun in the first place.

I couldn't...

No...

Couldn't think about the pain. Just... had to help my soldiers again. Had to win. For my ponies.

Couldn't let them... down.

I reached the balcony and looked out into the chaos. The battle still raged, though I saw far more corpses and wounded than before. More civilians had joined the battle in my absence. They were still dying. All dying. All dying for me. And killing. And fighting.

I reached the very edge of the balcony and raised the bloody corpse of Sinosis high. I didn't care who could see me. I opened my mouth and let out a wraith-like shriek of pure emotional, mental, and physical agony that echoed throughout the battlefield.

Then everything went black.

Twilight Sparkle reclined on her bed, engrossed in a book on pegasi magic and munching on some crackers. She flipped the page and began reading a chapter on cloud walking, when a noise unlike any she had ever heard split the tranquil atmosphere. She jumped up, dropping her book to her side, and blinked. The noise vanished quickly enough that she began to wonder whether she heard it at all.

Spike walked into the room with a frown on his face and an eyebrow raised. "Er... Twilight? What was that?"

"I..." Twilight blinked once. "I don't actually know, Spike." Twilight sat back down on her bed and picked up her book. "It seems to be gone now. Just some noise, I guess."

Photo Finish bit the inside of her lip as the model for the very prestigious Vanhoover fashion show strutted down the runway. She looked through her camera, looking for the very best shot to take. She tried to ignore the dull chattering of the ponies around her. They were just a distraction.

The chattering stopped when a noise that sounded like... well, it wasn't anything she had ever heard, entered her ears. The entire room went silent, and every pony looked around in confusion, waiting to see if the source would reveal itself. When nothing happened, Photo Finish shrugged and looked back through her camera.

I sighed as I looked down at the two ponies in front of me arguing about tax cuts, or whatever. Truth be told, I had little interest in what they said. I had a dozen more nobles to see after them, and more after those.

"And that, Princess Celestia, is why we should spend the money on my project."

I nodded as though I had been listening. "Yes, that sounds like an interesting point." I inwardly sighed. "Maybe we could--"

My words were cut off when I heard a shriek echo through my courtroom that sounded like...

No. It couldn't be.

The shriek faded away just as soon as it began, but it could only be one thing. I shot to my hooves and began running towards the nearest exit to my palace.

"Day court is adjourned."

"Er... Princess Celestia, we haven't..."

I wheeled around and gave both of the nobles my best snarl. "I said day court is over!"

I turned around and ran straight towards an open window large enough for me to fit through. I leaped through it and spread my wings, taking flight to Baltimare. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a blue shape, and I turned my head to see Luna flying towards me, her expression equally uneasy.

"Tia, what has happened? We were woken up by what we thought was an Alicorn Scream."

I nodded grimly. "Yes, I think it was. Something is very wrong with TD."

I poured magic into my horn and tilted my head until I touched horns with Luna. She ignited her horn and combined her magic with mine to ensure we arrived in the same place. With a pop, the two of us vanished, re-appearing over TD's palace.

What I saw made my breath die in my throat.

Hundreds of griffin soldiers battled TD's battered guard, alongside civilian forces armed with what can't even be described as weapons. The griffins outnumbered the rest of them almost two-to-one, and the advantage showed. I saw a colt of no more than sixteen have his kitchen knife knocked out of his magical grasp by a griffin raider armed with a bloody spear. The colt curled up and put his hooves over his head, anticipating the final blow.

I wouldn't let it come.

I ignited my horn and channeled all of my fury into a beam of combat magic that struck the griffin. Without so much as a scream, he completely evaporated, as though he had never been there at all. I flew down closer to the main griffin forces and pulled energy from my sun, creating a blade of pure sun fire. The heat of the blade was such that even as I drew near, the griffin forces began to burn, and when they saw their attacker, I relished the fear in their eyes. With a cry of pure rage, I swung my sword at a group, slicing five in half with one fell motion.

Luna evaporated two nearby griffins with the same spell that I used, then began conjuring up razor sharp ice daggers, which she began flinging into enemy soldiers with deadly accuracy. She froze two griffins in midair then charged them with twin ice swords, cutting them to pieces as she passed. She swiped at another griffin with one of the swords, then conjured up three more knives with which she felled three more foes.

The sight of the sun and moon goddesses joining the battle struck fear into the hearts of the griffins, and some began retreating. I flew after them personally, incapacitating some for questioning, and killing the rest. TD's forces renewed their vigor in their fight, and the griffin army began folding from fear and disorganization. For the first time in centuries, I let my emotions rule me. These beasts had attacked my friend, my fellow princess, my lover, and an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us.

I finished slicing another griffin in half, and spun around to see yet another one. This one, however, laid on the ground, his weapon at his side, and his claws in the air.

"Mercy!" The griffin curled up into a ball and held out a claw as if to forestall my advance. "P-please have mercy on me!"

"Mercy?" I landed and brought my sun fire sword closer to him. "And how many of my subjects that you slaughtered did you give mercy to? I am a wise, just, and merciful ruler, griffin, but do not think that I tolerate this kind of attack! I will defend my ponies from the likes of you!"

"Tia!"

I moved my sword away from the griffin and turned around to see Luna standing behind me, her coat flecked with the blood of our enemies in a way that I had not seen in a millennium.

"The battle is over, Tia. He is an unarmed prisoner who will no doubt..." Luna glared down at the griffin. "Pay for his crimes."

The griffin whimpered, but didn't say anything else. I put a freezing spell on all four of his limbs to keep him where he was and dissipated my sun fire sword.

Now we needed answers.

I looked out into the mass carnage that inevitably comes at the end of a battle. TD's guards began helping up their wounded and corralling their few prisoners to secure them completely. I noticed one of TD's officers, Lieutenant Rapids, I believe, helping up one of her wounded fellows. Luna and I trotted over to her at once.

"Lieutenant Rapids." Rapids turned to us and offered a weak smile. I saw a large gash on the side of her armor. Were she not wearing it, I imagine we wouldn't be having this conversation. "What happened here?"

"Princess Celestia." She nodded to me, then Luna. "Princess Luna. Can't thank you two enough for showing up when you did. I'm not sure we could have held out too much longer." She snorted. "I'd bow in thanks, but..." She motioned with her head to the pony she was picking up.

"Oh no, go ahead. Bow to our saviors." Lieutenant Rapids bent down a little more to allow the wounded pony to grasp her fully about the shoulders. I recognized the wounded pony as Tracer Arrow, TD's best tracking pony. She was missing her right foreleg above the knee, and Lieutenant Rapids had put a tourniquet on the stump. "Don't mind me. I'll be fine."

"We were attacked by griffins about half an hour ago, Princess Celestia," Lieutenant Rapids said. "I don't know where they came from, but I recognized some of them from when we took over that fort, so I guess it might be some of the same ones. We wanted to try to get word out to you for reinforcements, but everypony strong enough to fly to Canterlot quickly or send a message magically was on the battlefield fighting for her life. Captain Blaze and I tried our best to coordinate the defenses, but they took us by surprise. It got more complicated once the civilians showed up, and we had to make a choice to either use them fully, or try to keep them out of harms way as much as we could." Lieutenant Rapids grimaced and lowered her head slightly. "We treated them like soldiers. They were extra numbers we desperately needed. Uh... a lot of them died. I think they're all gonna have nightmares for weeks. I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks."

"Why do you think they attacked?" I asked.

Lieutenant Rapids shrugged as best she could. "I... I don't know. My guess is they were funded by someone. This armor is too good for simple raiders to have. They were goaded on by someone."

"Lieutenant Rapids." Luna took a step towards her and leaned down. "Where is Princess Antares?"

When Rapids spoke next, her voice came out as a whimper. "I don't know. I know this sounds stupid of me but... when we were out here, I hardly had time to think of where she was, only that we had to repel them to keep her safe. I... I think that I might have seen her at some point, but the griffins just kept coming, and I had to fight for my life every moment. I couldn't think about exactly where she was, only that I had to keep fighting, because the longer I did, the longer I could protect her, you know?"

"She's up there," Tracer Arrow whispered, all trace of her usual sarcastic wit gone. "D-didn't you hear the scream? She's up there!"

Luna and I looked up to where Tracer Arrow tried to point, and that's when we saw a large, limp form hanging over the edge of the balcony. I gasped and without a word flew over to the balcony.

No. No, she couldn't be...

Her mane and tail had completely gone out, and she lay unmoving in a pool of her own blood and vomit. I looked up to Luna and pointed inside the palace. "The throne room."

Luna nodded, and I grabbed TD's body, hoping beyond hope that there was still some life in her yet. With a pop, I teleported into the throne room, gently laying TD down on the floor.

The throne room didn't look much better than TD did. If I had to guess, whatever happened to her happened here, but I couldn't focus on that now. Luna appeared beside me, and we both noticed it at the same time: a large black crossbow bolt sticking out of her chest.

I sat beside TD and ignited my horn, pumping magic into her in case there was anything that I could use to bring her back. I growled as TD's body twitched, but she did not respond.

"Luna, help me!" My eyes widened when I saw TD's hoof move ever so slightly and her eyelid twitch. "Luna she's still alive, but I need you to help me!"

"Tia..." My sister's voice came out as a whimper, and my gaze flickered up to her. She stood above a sleek black crossbow, shivering like a filly with tears streaking down her face. "T-Tia, no."

I growled and poured more healing magic into TD. "Luna help me! I think we can still save her!"

"Tia, please no!"

"Luna!"

"TELL ME IT ISN'T!" Luna wheeled around and pointed at the crossbow. "TELL ME IT ISN'T A NIGHTMARE WEAPON, TIA!"

I shot to my hooves, ignited my horn and pulled my sister over to me until I was face-to-face with her. "Luna it's a bucking Nightmare Weapon, but if you don't get over that and help me, TD is going to die!"

I sat back down and poured more magic into TD, focusing on the wound. "Help me with the wounded area. I need your magic too."

Slowly Luna nodded, sat down opposite me, and ignited her horn. I felt her magic intertwine with mine as we worked throughout TD's body, trying to bring her back from death. I heard her give a little groan, and felt her weakly squeeze my hoof.

"C-Celestia..." I smiled comfortingly at her when I saw her breathing become more even.

"It's okay, TD. We're here now. We stopped the griffins. You're going to be fine."

TD's jaw quivered, and I saw a tear roll down her face. "I... I w-wanna go h-home."

"You are home, TD. We're going to fix you up, and you’ll be as good as new." I squeezed her hoof in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "You're going to be fine."

"M-m-muh-muh." TD started squirming, and her breathing became a bit more rapid. "Mo-mo-muh. M-mo-muh." The tears came more rapidly now. "R-really h-hurts."

"I know it does, TD. I know." I gently kissed her on the forehead, but grimaced as my magic made me realize what I suspected anyway. I made eye contact with Luna, then motioned down to the arrow. "It's pumping more dark magic in the longer it's in there. We have to get it out before we can stabilize her." Luna nodded, and grabbed one of TD's hooves.

"Okay, TD, this will just take a second," I said in my best attempt at a comforting voice. I gently began stroking her bald head and moving my other hoof towards the arrow. "Just relax."

Unfortunately, TD realized what I planned. Her eyes widened, and she began thrashing about with more energy than I expected.

"Nuh nuh nuh nuh!" TD pushed a hoof into my face, but I gently moved it aside.

"Luna, help me hold her down. It needs to come out." I heard Luna whimper, and saw that she didn't move. "Luna," I said with more sharpness, "hold her down, please."

Luna nodded and held TD's left half down with both her hooves and magic, while I did the same with her right side. My comforting smile returned for TD, and I began stroking her head again. "Just relax, TD. It'll be over in a second."

Before TD could do anything more, I wrapped my foreleg around the shaft of the arrow and pulled as hard as I could.

I will remember the ear-splitting scream for the rest of my days. TD's thrashing became more violent, but there I sat with a perfectly intact, bloody black arrow in the crook of my foreleg. I tossed it aside with a noise of disgust and looked back down at TD to see that she had begun convulsing. I poured more of my magic into her, feeling the dark magic that was killing her recede.

"I think she's stabilized for now," I muttered. "We have to get her to a hospital. She is nowhere near out of the danger zone yet."

Before we could do anything, I heard a loud bang behind me and a loud shout of profanity. I turned my head to see Captain Blaze standing behind us, staring at Princess Antares with a look of pure fury on his face.

"Stupid!" he growled. "So stupid! I had one bucking job!"

"Captain Blaze." I got to my hooves. "It's not over. She is still alive. She needs to get to a hospital now! Get us some medical ponies immediately!"

Captain Blaze looked between TD and myself, then nodded and ran down the hall. Within five minutes, a team of four ponies with a stretcher came in and carried the limp, nearly comatose form of TD out, leaving Luna and I alone in the throne room.

Luna took a deep breath and looked down at herself. She was covered in not only the blood of the griffins, but TD's as well. I had no doubt that I was the same. "Tia... what is happening?" she whispered.

"I don't know." I scooted over to her and put a wing over her shoulder. "I... I don't know, Lulu."

Author's Notes:

Tulip provides a wonderful picture of the epic scene.

I am Antares

Being a princess meant that I had to be on the go at all moments when necessary. I needed to be completely focused and level-headed at every moment, knowing that a single mistake could have serious consequences. My ponies could quiver in fear when life became too terrifying. My ponies could cry out for somepony to save them when all seemed lost and the world looked to be ending, but I could not. Normal ponies could be weak and helpless, but not princesses. Never princesses.

Antares shot with a Nightmare Weapon. She seemed just as likely to die as she was to survive, even with the magical healing Luna and I performed.

Dozens, if not hundreds, of dead soldiers and civilians. They would need to be cleaned up and buried. That would take days. Families would need to be informed, loved ones would grieve for the rest of their lives. Undertakers would need to make sure that the bodies looked presentable, even for the ones who would look nothing like they had before.

Even more wounded. Some with just scratches. Some would already be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some would have wounds like Tracer Arrow's. Some would be in critical condition. We would need to transfer doctors and nurses from all over the country to Baltimare to handle it all. Some of the patients in critical condition likely would not last the night.

My ponies could feel fear at a time like this. My ponies could feel uncertainty, but I could not. I needed to save that for much, much later.

Luna and I stood up from the floor, and I looked down at myself for the first time. Given that I used a sunflame sword, my blows cauterized any wounds I left on foes on impact. That made looking down at the blood staining my white coat all the worse, knowing that every drop of it belonged to TD. I took a deep breath and looked at the throne room entrance. "Lulu, we need to go. Baltimare General will be a nightmare, and I think they will need our help, even without seeing TD there."

Luna nodded and wiped some of the blood from her face with the back of her hoof. "Indeed."

Before I could say anything more, I heard a whimper and the sound of quiet sobbing coming from behind me. I swiveled my ears and turned my head, trying to hone in on the noise. I heard it coming from a practically destroyed pillar near the back of the throne room. I motioned to Luna and pointed at the pillar, prompting a nod from her. I walked up to the pillar and looked behind it, revealing TD's secretary, Tulip. She lay curled up on the ground in a ball, shivering and sobbing. I sat down next to her and gently picked her up, wrapping her up in my forelegs and wings.

"Shh," I soothed. "It's okay." I stroked her mane and began working my magic to calm her nerves. "You'll be okay." Tulip's sobbing began quieting, and I tightened my hug on her. "Can you tell me what happened? What did you see?"

Tulip continued taking shaky breaths and leaned into my chest. "I... I c-came in here w-when those griffins came into the palace. I was talking with my friend Strawberry Fields when they attacked, and she told me to get in the throne room and hide. I th-thought she'd come after me, but then those three griffins came in and..." Tulip's heavy breathing intensified, and her tears started coming down again. "They killed her! I looked back and the griffin with the spear just stabbed her right in the neck! I r-ran into the throne room and hid behind here, but then the griffins came in here! Princess Antares came in and they s-shot her with that black crossbow!"

Tulip's sobbing became too severe, and I needed to use more magic to calm her down. "It's okay. We're helping Princess Antares now. She's going to be fine." I gently nuzzled her. "What happened next?"

Tulip sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof before continuing. "They pulled her up to the throne after she went down. The griffin leader who shot her told her to beg him to kill her or else he'd shoot her in the back and let her bleed out." Tulip began blinking rapidly and straightened up slightly. "But she didn't. She sent out this... shockwave of magic that blasted them back and stood up like she hadn't been shot at all. Her body turned to stars and her mane and tail into fire. She held the griffins down with her magic and told them that sh-she'd destroy the griffins. Enslave their children a-and salt their fields and destroy their homes and harvests. She said..." Tulip took a deep breath and her face took on a haunted expression. "She said 'I am Antares, the wrath of the stars, and I bow to none!'"

I looked up at Luna, my eyes wide.

I am Antares, the wrath of the stars.

"She then split the sky and summoned a star," Tulip continued. "She brought down bolts of fire that incinerated two of the griffins, then tore her throne out of the floor and beat the leader griffin to death. She took the body and went out of the throne room and... I heard that scream not long after."

I slowly nodded and gave Tulip a little squeeze as she began shaking again. "It's okay. You are safe now. We have stopped the griffins. They cannot hurt you anymore."

"Why did they attack us at all?" Tulip whimpered. "Why did they have to kill my friend and shoot Princess Antares?"

"I do not know, but I swear that we shall find out." I gently set Tulip down and got to my hooves before lifting Tulip onto my back. I looked over at Luna who stared at Tulip contemplatively. "For now we are needed at the hospital."

After dropping Tulip off with a group of surviving servants, Luna and I rushed over to the hospital to see what we could do to help.

To say that it was chaos... well, chaos does not even come close to describing it.

Piles of armor and weapons filled the waiting room as nurses stripped the wounded soldiers of their armor so that they could treat them. Red stained hospital beds littered the hallways as wounded ponies waited to be treated. Doctors ran up and down the lines of wounded with markers, marking the ponies to indicate the level of priority. Two doctors worked on a soldier bleeding from a dozen different deep wounds for a few moments before one of the doctors tapped the other on the shoulder and shook his head. The other doctor nodded and pulled a sheet over the head of the pony before the two ran over to the next pony in line. A civilian pony ran in, mentioned to a single doctor working on a bleeding, unconscious pony that she had some medical training. The doctor roughly pulled her over to him and pressed her left forehoof on a bleeding spot on the wounded pony's chest.

Luna and I spotted a group of about two or three dozen minimally wounded soldiers and civilians, and we rushed over to help them. Anything we could do to heal as many as we could to lighten the load of the doctors. I moved over to a soldier with a broken foreleg and several large gashes on his face, using my magic to heal his foreleg and scratches. When he realized he had been healed, he stood up and bowed to me.

"Thank you. What can I do now?"

I walked over to a pony putting pressure to a wound on his neck and closed the wound. "If you have no medical training, you can send messages to the cities and towns near Baltimare to get whatever medics you can to the hospitals in this city!"

The pony saluted and ran out of the hospital, the pony I had just healed following after him. The order I gave the healed guard spread rapidly amongst the ponies Luna and I cured, and within a half hour of work, the group had completely dispersed to gather more workers. I could only hope that more would arrive soon.

We worked for more hours than I even want to remember.

Within a few hours, Life-Flights from all over Equestria were arriving to the hospital, both to move those soldiers who were in a state where that was possible, and to evacuate the foal's ward of the hospital so that we had more space. Most brought in what doctors and nurses could be spared from their own hospitals, and I recognized doctors from places such as Vanhoover, Fillydelphia, and even Ponyville running in to assist the horrendously overworked Baltimare staff. Two detachments of both Luna and my guards, led by their respective captains, set up a watch around the hospital to prevent the press from gaining entry.

And so we worked.

The Equestria I knew then was one of peace, and so the times were few and far between when I needed to be on the go to the extent that my body moved completely independent of my mind. I did not think, I did not feel, I just did. My mind went into a cloudy haze like it had not for a long time, but I pushed on. Occasionally, my mind would snap back to reality, and I would become fully alert and realize what was going on around me. I usually did not like what I saw. A civilian would be asking me if I could re-attach his leg.

Or yet another of TD's guards would slip away while we rushed to save her, knowing they could not.

Or a doctor, who had been trained for years to be calm, collected, and detached in stressful situations would completely break down, causing the one next to him to push him aside so he could continue working. Once or twice somepony would notice Luna and I, then ask where Princess Antares was. Is Princess Antares going to come help too? Where is she? Is she getting more help? Every time I heard somepony ask that, I felt as old as I was, if only for a fleeting moment. Then I pushed the feeling aside and pressed onwards.

Nothing else mattered but saving as many lives as possible. Healing as many wounds as we could. Nothing else mattered. They were helping TD. I had done everything that I had for her. Her fate was in the hooves of powers much stronger than mine.

"Tia?"

I blinked once and snapped out of the haze. It took my mind a moment to realize who had spoken to me. I turned my head to the source of the voice and sighed when I saw Luna standing beside me. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her mane less wavy than normal. Even with her dark blue coat, I could still see splatters of blood that dotted her body. I had no doubt I looked very much the same.

"Tia, We believe it is over. All have been helped who could have been helped." She slowly walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. "We can rest now."

I slowly breathed in and looked down at my body, grimacing ever so slightly at the sight of my blood stained forelegs and chest. I looked back up at Luna. "Very well." I pulled her in for a small hug and nuzzled her neck. "How are you?"

"Tired," Luna said, her voice coming out as a whimper. "We do not wish for this to be happening, Tia."

"I know, Lulu, I know." I broke off from the hug and motioned for her to follow me. "We are not done quite yet. We need to find the head doctor and get more answers."

"Of course."

I put on my most practiced detached look, and the two of us walked down the hall to the office of the head doctor. I found myself thankful that he was in his office, making the search far easier. I opened up his office door, and found the gray pegasus stallion sitting on his chair with his head resting on his desk. I noted with a touch of disdain that a tall bottle of gin sat beside him on the desk. When he didn't respond to his door being opened, I cleared my throat, and his head popped up. He blinked once and looked up at us, first with mild surprise, then with the same look of exhaustion that we all felt.

"Princess Celestia." He nodded to me, then my sister. "Princess Luna."

"Doctor Gurney." I returned his nod. "We have come for a status update on all of your patients."

Dr. Gurney scoffed quietly. "Yeah, I'd like that myself, along with what's in this bottle." He clicked his tongue and pushed it away. "I haven't had a drop, if that's what you're wondering. I'll occasionally have a little swig every so often once my shift is over if I've had a hard night. It was tempting after the day I've had, but I'm still on duty." He looked up at the two of us. "I'd be more than happy to pour you two a glass if you'd like. You saved more lives and healed more ponies than anypony else today. You've earned it."

"As tempting as it is, Doctor, it would not be for the best."

"Which is why I didn't," he mumbled. Dr. Gurney shrugged and motioned over to a stack of manila folders on his desk nearly half as tall as I was. "Those are the reports you wanted, I guess. That battle at the palace brought in more ponies than I've ever seen at one time. I was hoping that they were mostly just bad wounds that could be treated easily enough, but..." Dr. Gurney shook his head. "It didn't quite turn out like that. A lot of ponies died in the beginning because we just didn't have enough staff to cover everything. Ten soldiers come in with their guts spilling out and there are only six doctors who can help them? Yeah, the math doesn't look so good with that."

"Do you have an exact casualty list?" I asked.

Dr. Gurney nodded. "Got it from the morgue." He reached into his coat pocket and produced a scrap of paper. "Uh... sixty-eight, Princess Celestia. We lost sixty-eight of the ponies who came in. Considering that almost three hundred patients came in here..." Dr. Gurney eyed his bottle again. "Some of that was not enough staff, some of that was ponies who were going to die anyway, things like that." Dr. Gurney gave a small shrug. "I think most of our patients should be out soon enough."

"And..." I exchanged a small glance with Luna. "What of Princess Antares?"

Dr. Gurney visibly tensed up, and I saw his hoof twitch towards the bottle. He resisted the urge and slowly shook his head. "Dunno, really. She could survive, she could die. I don't know much about how you alicorns are different from your subjects. Helping her was a nightmare, though. We couldn't get needles into her skin, so we..." Dr. Gurney's ear twitched. "We took what samples we could from the wounded area. Black magic isn't really my area of expertise, but the unicorn toxicologist said that she felt dirty handling her blood samples. I don't know what she was hit with, so I can't say for sure what's going to happen."

"She was shot with what was called a Nightmare Weapon: a weapon designed specifically to kill alicorns. I won't go into the details with you about their make or origin, but suffice to say, it works by pumping black magic into its target that sucks the life out of her." I give Luna credit for not flinching or betraying any emotion. Maybe she had no more left to give. "I removed the arrow she was shot with and gave her what healing magic I could to stem the poison. I brought her here afterwards."

"Yeah." Dr. Gurney sighed and ran a hoof through his unkempt mane. "I guess we'll see if she dies, then."

"You are unsure?" Luna questioned.

"I don't have the next clue, and neither do the other doctors and nurses I've been talking to who have treated her. I'm sorry to put it bluntly, but..."

I held up a hoof. "Do not worry, Doctor. Mincing words will not help anypony right now."

He shrugged once more. "Fine, I guess. I suppose whether or not Princess Antares survives is up to Princess Antares. Her body is going to have to do all of the work from here on out, from where I'm sitting."

I nodded. "Very well, Doctor. I suppose we shall let you get back to..." I hesitated. "What you were doing."

"Yeah." Dr. Gurney shook his head and grasped the bottle. He opened up a small drawer in his desk and gently placed it inside before shutting the desk drawer and putting his head back on the desk. "I'll let you know if anything changes around here, Princess Celestia."

"Please do." He took a deep breath and raised his head at us once more. "You can also go see Princess Antares now, I guess. She's in room 12-A in the ICU."

"Thank you, Doctor."

With nothing else to say, Luna and I turned and walked towards TD's room. I think she needed us, whether she was awake to see us or not.

Cold. It was very cold.

I think I was shot with something. Yeah, that sounds right. I was shot with a Nightmare Weapon by Sinosis. What happened to him? I think...

I killed him, didn't I? Yeah, him and his other soldiers. He shot me, so I killed him with my throne.

Very cold.

I sucked in a breath through my teeth and slowly opened my eyes. I thought I was still alive, so I needed to do more than just lie around and do... whatever I was doing. My re-gained eyesight revealed that I currently lay in the throne room of my palace. Just right in the middle of the floor. Not very regal of me, I'll admit.

No, that didn't make any sense. I thought I remembered Celestia and Luna coming in. Why would they have just left me on the floor of my throne room? I raised my head and frowned when I saw that my floor was not the usual ornate tile, but a strange mist. I pushed my hoof through it and shuddered when an icy feeling shot up my leg. My eyes narrowed in confusion. Why...?

I looked around at my throne room again and my jaw dropped open. Instead of the fairly well-kept room there was now only a twisted ruin. A memory flashed through my mind of my magic destroying it. The ceiling crumbling, the sky splitting, a star appearing, but this... this wasn't like that. It looked like nopony had stepped hoof inside this place for, well, centuries, if I had to guess. I smelled the musty scent of decay in the air, and cobwebs and mold littered the walls and what remained of the ceiling. Looking closer, the throne room bore all of the marks of the battle. My throne lay in the middle of the room where I had dropped it, but the ornate gold had begun flaking off from all of the years that had gone by. I got to my hooves and tentatively walked over to it. I flinched back and moaned in discomfort when I saw what lay underneath.

A twisted skeleton, still clad in once strong armor. Only one claw remained out from under the throne, and it was extended in full, as if the griffin had been trying to reach something in his final moments. I squeezed my eyes shut and backed away from the gruesome sight.

No, no I hadn't done that. Something else, maybe. This was a different throne room. Some other battle that took place long before, or after, my time. I didn't do that. That couldn't have been me. Never me.

I pushed all thoughts of the skeleton out of my mind. I couldn't focus on that. I had to find out what to do next. I turned around and saw a ruined doorway behind me. Better than nothing. I trotted through it, not expecting much.

Outside of the ruined throne room, the hopes that this was not my palace faded away completely. The carpets and the curtains were in total disrepair, but years of living here left no doubt that they were mine. I shuddered and pushed onward. I needed to find something. I needed to get out of here and maybe find Celestia or Luna. If this was a dream then Luna would likely be around. I needed to find her. If it wasn't, and the attack had prompted something worse, then... I didn't know.

All of a sudden, I heard a noise coming from down the hallway. I perked my ears up a touch and swiveled them forward to pick up the sound better. It sounded like... crying.

I frowned and continued walking down the hall. Yes, the noise was definitely crying. As the noise grew louder, I saw a dark huddled shape sitting in the middle of the floor, her hooves wrapped around herself and rocking back and forth. I chanced a little light from my horn and cast it in the direction of the shape. My eyes widened when I saw who it was. One of my staff, Strawberry Fields! I ran up to her and sat down, wrapping her up in my wings and forelegs.

"Shh," I soothed, stroking her mane. "It's going to be okay now. Don't you worry."

Strawberry's crying slowed down, and she looked up at me. It seemed she had been crying for a while. Her eyes were puffed up and red, and her face was drenched with tears. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof.

"P-Princess Antares?" she whispered.

I gave her a comforting smile and gently nuzzled her. "Yeah, it's me. Don't cry anymore, okay? You're going to be fine."

"Okay." Strawberry leaned her head against my chest and wrapped her forelegs around one of my own. "They attacked us."

"I know, but we beat them back, alright? We don't have to worry about them anymore."

"They came in here." I felt her squeeze my foreleg tighter. "They came in here and just started killing everypony they saw." Strawberry's breathing became more rapid, and tears began dripping down her face. "I was so scared, Princess Antares. I was so scared that they were going to find me and kill me too."

"I know, but it's all better now." I closed my eyes and nuzzled the back of her head. "We beat them back, and we're going to find whoever was behind this."

"It hurt, Princess Antares. It hurt more than anything I've ever felt before. I didn't know things could hurt that much."

"What di--?"

When I opened my eyes Strawberry Fields was gone. My forelegs were positioned as if I still held her, but she had vanished completely. I sharply exhaled and got to my hooves. I didn't bother calling out for her. I knew nothing would come of it. Maybe I could find her again. Maybe somepony else was around here. I had to hope.

I began walking down the hallway once more, my horn still lit, but when I passed what remained of a large window, I chanced a glance outside. My eyes widened once more when I saw the sight outside. The courtyard of my palace where the battle had taken place was packed with dozens, if not hundreds of ponies, all standing silently on either side of a road made by the mist. None of them moved, none of them acknowledged one another, nothing. They just stood there. Ponies of all races and ages. I hopped out the window and glided down to a group of three earth ponies, a mare and her two fillies. Despite their princess landing next to them, neither the mare nor her young foals moved.

"Ma'am?" I gently put a hoof on the mare's shoulder. "Can... can you tell me what's going on?" I looked out into the mist as far as I could see. The rows of ponies seemed to go on forever. I looked down to the mare, who had still not moved. "Why are you all here?"

"Are you one of them?" The mare's voice came out so quietly I could barely hear it.

I blinked in confusion. "One of them? I... I don't know what that means."

The mare gave a quiet scoff. "Figures. You always were a special kind of sort, I suppose. Nothing like us normal ponies."

"Normal?" I tilted my head. "Ma'am, I don't--"

"We're waiting."

"Waiting for who?"

The mare didn't respond, so I leaned my head down a little more so that I could be at eye level with her. "Waiting for who?"

"Get out of my sight," the mare snarled, her face twisting into a glare. "Get away from me."

I flinched back and retreated into the middle of the fog road, my eyes never leaving the mare. Her face had slipped back into that blank mask she wore when I had first approached.

Waiting? I looked at all of the ponies around me. Waiting for what?

My answer came swiftly. The silence was shattered by the sound of marching appearing from behind me. I turned around to see what it was.

My stomach clenched and my breath caught in my throat at the sight before me. Marching down the road were hundreds of ponies, over half of whom were dressed in familiar armor. The armor of my guard. I shook my head and began backing up as the macabre parade approached me. Even now I recognized many of the ponies in the formation as having died during the battle. Sergeant Stones and Private Flare were in the front row of ponies.

"No," I whimpered. "Not this."

As the marching ponies came closer, many of them laid eyes on me, and to my horror, their previously blank faces broke out into wide grins. My mind told me that I should run or fly away; try to escape the death march before me, but my wings and legs would not obey me, and I could not stop the onslaught of ponies approaching me.

As the first group approached me, the ponies each bowed their heads though kept marching, and muttered some words, words that chilled me to my very core.

"Princess Antares, it was an honor."

"It was an honor to die for you, Princess Antares."

"Long live Princess Antares! It was an honor to lay down my life for you, Princess, and I'd do it a thousand times over!"

I whimpered and backed away from the marching ponies, hoping to gather my thoughts and figure out to do next, but what came next was far worse.

Before I could do anything, the very air itself was split with the noise of hundreds of voices all crying out in pure agony. I turned to the side and saw the observers, who had previously been standing there silently, now screaming and reaching out towards the marching ponies. Some were even throwing themselves at the fog road, but they were held back by some invisible barrier. I saw the mare I had spoken to collapse on the ground and was scratching at her face with her hooves.

I flattened my ears in an attempt to drown out the screams of ponies shouting for their loved ones on one side of me, and the ponies who had died for me cheering me on and praising my name, assuring me that they were proud to have died horribly for me on the other. I sat down on the ground and grabbed my head in my hooves, wishing the nightmare would just end or that all would fade away and I could figure out what to do next.

My thoughts were interrupted once more when I felt a hoof on my shoulder, and I looked up to see a grinning colt of probably no more than fifteen standing in front of me. He bowed low to me when he saw that I had noticed him.

"Princess Antares. It was an honor. I'm glad I could help defend you."

"But they killed you," I whispered. "You died too young. You didn't have to die for me."

The colt chuckled and shook his head. "No, but I wanted to, and I'm glad that I could have."

"YOU!"

I looked over to the source of the noise and saw the mare again, this time on her hooves with her little fillies clutching her hind legs. She looked at me with a look of fury that I had never seen before. Her hoof pointed directly at me.

"Why did he have to die for you?!" she screeched. "He was only fifteen you selfish bitch! Why did you just let my son be slaughtered?! Was he just fodder? A target to distract griffins?" The mare slammed her hoof on the ground. "He was just a thing to you, wasn't he? A tool to be used! Otherwise you would have saved him! Or are you not powerful enough?!"

My mouth flopped up and down as I tried to formulate a response. "I..."

I was cut off when the colt turned to his mother with a chuckle. "No, Mother, you have it all wrong. She isn't like that. I wasn't a tool for her! I died saving innocent ponies from the griffins! I died for something, Mother! I died for Princess Antares!"

"Why did he have to die at all?" the mare snarled as the two fillies began sobbing and calling out to their dead brother. "Why couldn't you have seen this coming? Are you really so stupid?! It's all your fault he's dead! Why are you more important than he is?! Why is your wretched life worth more than his?! Just because you wear some dumb piece of metal on your head and you got hit with some shiny necklaces? Why does that make you worth more?!" The mare slammed her hoof into the ground. "Why are you more important than he is?"

"I..." I blinked once and tears began welling up in my eyes. I felt a tightness begin growing in my chest as I wilted under the mare's gaze. "I'm n-not. I'm not! I'm not!" I got to my hooves and began backing away. "I'm not worth any of this!" I wailed. "Just stop! Just stop!" I spread my wings and took to the air, hoping that I could fly away from the horrors around me, but the invisible barrier blocked my path. I felt another jolt of the stinging cold when I hit it, and I fell towards the ground, not even thinking about trying to take to the air again. All I wanted was for the noises to stop. I didn't want any more praises or accusations. I just wanted everything to stop.

"It was an honor, Princess Antares! I would do it again!"

"He didn't have to die for you! Why couldn't you save him?"

I hit the ground and curled up into a ball, putting my hooves over my ears. "Just stop!" I moaned. "Just leave me alone, please!"

"Princess Antares, why did you let the griffins kill my mommy? My sister and I don't have anypony left anymore!"

"All hail Princess Antares!"

"We were about to have our first foal! Now my baby will have to grow up without her father because of you!"

"Nothing could bring me more joy, Princess Antares. Dying for you is the thing I can be most proud of!"

"Please just STOP!" With another cry, a burst of magic shot through my horn.

My eyes snapped open and I sharply inhaled. The fog was gone. The ponies were gone. Instead I was in another dark room, but this one had all kinds of wires and beeping machines in it. I tried to look around to see where I was, but every small movement sent a sharp burst of pain through my chest. I felt an oxygen mask over my muzzle, so I slowly reached up to pull that off.

The hospital. Yes, I was in the hospital.

Not my ruined palace, the hospital. Alone. Just as I had always been. Just like I had been in my dream, or whatever that was. I felt hot tears streak down my face as the memories of everything came rushing back to me all at once. With nothing else to do, I threw my head back and screamed.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, I removed the comedy tag. I figured it was about time. Does that mean the story won't be funny anymore? Heck no! Heck. No! Not right now, obviously, but no, there will still be funny here. It's jut that the story led me to this place, and it got more serious, something that I think fits completely. When TD first ascended, he was young, immature, and abused his power and authority a little bit. But now he's matured and is facing the realities of the job. He's significantly grown up throughout the course of the story, and the story has matured to match him. Did I expect it to go this way? Not at all. I didn't even think the story was going to be this long.

And here we are.

Because I Could Not Stop For Death

The door to my room burst open, and Celestia and Luna charged in, followed by a pony I presumed was a doctor, given her lab coat. Celestia was at my side in a second, wrapping one of my hooves in one of her own, stroking my maneless head with the other.

"Shh," she soothed. "It's okay, TD. You're safe now. You're in Baltimare General Hospital. Do you remember that?"

I looked up at Celestia with wide eyes and slowly shook my head. "Don't remember much," I whispered.

"What is the last thing you do remember?" the doctor asked as she walked over to a bunch of beeping machines that I just realized I was hooked up to.

I tried to take a deep breath, but a sharp pain coursed through my chest, and I clenched my teeth until it faded away. Celestia conjured a chair for herself and placed it next to the bed I was on so that she could sit next to me. I slowly shifted so that I could rest my head on her shoulder as I thought.

"I... I remember the griffins attacking my palace," I said in a weak, quiet voice. "I remember that my soldiers were fighting them. I remembered that a bunch of civilians came in to..." My ear flicked. "To fight too, and the griffins fought them. I remember fighting the griffins. I remember... killing them." I took a small breath as Celestia wiped away a small tear that trickled down my face. "I remember seeing Sinosis flying into my palace. I remember that he killed some of my staff, then he shot me with that Nightmare Weapon when I confronted him. I..." I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to recall more, but all I got was bits and pieces. Little fleeting shots with no coherent storyline tying them together. I shook my head. "I don't really remember much after that."

"You stopped Sinosis before he did anything else," Celestia said. "Your secretary Tulip informed us of what you did."

I nodded and looked over to Luna, who merely stared at me with blank eyes. Even then, I could see the beginnings of her emotionless mask beginning to crack with things like subtle eye and ear twitches. I gave her a slight confused frown, which she returned with a weak attempt at a comforting smile. I looked back over at Celestia. "And what did I do?"

"You magically surged and killed both him and the soldiers he brought with him."

I looked down at the floor and tried to hold back more tears. "Great. More..." My voice cracked and I had to clear my throat before continuing. "More things that I've killed."

"TD, it was a battle. There was nothing to be done for it." Celestia gently nuzzled my head and wrapped a foreleg around my shoulder. "Had you not done it, he would have tortured you more before killing you."

"Yeah, that makes me feel better," I muttered. "Violently kill somebody or be violently killed. What great options."

"That is the way of things in battle, I'm afraid," Celestia said sadly.

"I guess." I looked over to the doctor, who was just finishing up looking at my monitors and writing things down on a clipboard. "So I got shot with that Nightmare Weapon. They got it out in time, right? I'm gonna be okay?"

The doctor paused and glanced up, flinching when she noticed that the gazes of all three princesses were fixed on her. She gently cleared her throat and attached her pen to her clipboard. "Well, I don't really know much about Nightmare Weapons really. You're awake, and that's a really good sign, Princess Antares."

"But you don't know." I looked from the doctor to Celestia, then to Luna. "I mean, what... I don't know anything about Nightmare Weapons other than what's already common knowledge. I got hit in the chest so am I..." I turned my gaze to Celestia. "Am I gonna die?"

I couldn't help the almost foal-like way in which I said that. I couldn't help how small and powerless I, the third most powerful pony ever, felt when asking that most simple of questions. I wasn't supposed to die. The Elements turned me immortal when they ascended me. Celestia, Luna and I. We weren't supposed to ever die.

And now...

My response came not from words, but a single whimper. I looked over to the source and saw Luna slowly backing towards the door, her ears flat, her jaw wobbling, and tears streaking down her face. I subtly frowned at her and tilted my head.

"Luna?"

"I..." Luna began blinking rapidly, and two of her tears splashed onto the tile floor. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

Before any of us could say anything else, Luna threw the door open with her magic and ran out into the hallway, slamming the door behind her.

"Oh Luna," I heard Celestia whisper. I looked up at Celestia, who must have noticed my uncertainty because she gave me a comforting smile. "Do not worry, TD. I think that you will recover. As the doctor said, it is a good sign that you are awake. I believe that Luna and I reached you in time and took the arrow out fast enough to prevent irreversible damage."

"Okay." I grabbed one of Celestia's forelegs with my one free hoof. "How did you find me? Did one of my soldiers make it to Canterlot in time for you to finish the battle before it got too out of hoof?"

Celestia sighed and shook her head. "No. Luna and I discovered that something was wrong when you did what is called an Alicorn Scream."

I raised an eyebrow slightly. "An Alicorn Scream?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes. It happens when an alicorn goes through emotional overload. Pure physical, mental, and emotional agony, and we let it out in a shriek that can be heard for miles around."

"And you heard that?"

"TD, I daresay the entire country heard it."

"Oh." I shifted in my bed to get a little more comfortable, and Celestia tightened her grip on me slightly. "Have..." I looked back up at Celestia. "Have you ever done one?"

Celestia's comforting smile fell away entirely, and for the first time since coming in, I noticed that she looked very tired. She didn't answer my question for a few moments, but she finally nodded. "Yes. Just once." She looked over to the door to my room. "In the moment after I banished my sister and I truly realized what I had done..." Celestia got a faraway look in her eyes for the briefest of moments before looking back to me. "When you screamed Luna and I heard it. We came to Baltimare immediately and turned the tide of the battle."

The battle. Being reminded of it again caused my jaw to clench and my stomach to tie itself into a million knots. I tightened my grip on Celestia's hoof and did my best to take a deep breath. "Y-you saw the carnage. A lot of ponies died."

Celestia nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so. We saved as many as we could and stopped the griffins."

"Do you..." My voice cracked again and a single tear streaked down my face. "Do you know how many died?"

Celestia exchanged an uncomfortable glance with the doctor and resumed stroking my head. "TD, I don't think it's best for you to worry about that right now. I know that the time will come when you must, but for now, I think it best--"

"Celestia." Even in my weakened state my voice carried a hint of sharpness and authority as I cut off her words. "How many?"

Celestia stared down at me, the beeping of the machines I was hooked up to being the only noise filling the room. I did not blink as I stared right back at her, trying not to falter in my resolve to know just how many ponies had been slaughtered trying to defend me, despite the tears brimming. After a few more moments, Celestia quietly sighed and closed her eyes.

"Three hundred and fifty five."

Three hundred and fifty five.

Three hundred and fifty five.

I couldn't wrap my head around the number. Three hundred and fifty five ponies had charged out onto the battlefield to fight the griffin invaders and would never wake up again. Three hundred and fifty five ponies who had never seen battle before, who had woken up that morning expecting an uneventful day had everything taken away from them in the most horrifying way imaginable. I couldn't begin to imagine it. I could only do one thing.

I broke.

I wrapped my forelegs around Celestia's middle as tightly as I could, holding on to her as though she was the only pony left in the world. My hysterical sobs drowned out everything as the number burned itself in my mind.

Three hundred and fifty five.

Three hundred and fifty five.

Three hundred and fifty five ponies that would never be there again.

I don't know how long I cried. I don't know long I let Celestia hold me as I let every emotion I could possibly feel out. I drew in deep, ragged breaths, ignoring the pain in my chest as my sobs died down. I became aware that Celestia was stroking my head and gently nuzzling me.

"I know this hurts TD," Celestia said softly. "Believe me when I say that I know it hurts."

I took a few more deep breaths to calm my breathing and wiped my eyes with a foreleg. "Does... does it ever get easier, watching them die?" I whimpered.

Celestia subtly shook her head. "No. I'm afraid it does not. But that is why we fight to prevent battle, so that we do not see our subjects fall."

"I don't ever want to see them die again, but knowing that this whole thing was just probably the start to a war..." I shuddered and nuzzled into Celestia's chest. "I don't know how I can do it."

"But you must. You are a princess of Equestria, in good times and in bad. Your ponies will look to you for strength in this dark time." Celestia put her hoof under my jaw and gently tilted my head up to look her in the eye. "And trust me when I say that I know that you have it. The Elements did not choose you lightly. If you did not have the strength to lead, you would not have ascended, TD."

"No. I don't think I'm TD anymore." I blinked once and took a deep breath, my voice barely louder than a whisper. "I am Antares."

Celestia raised an eyebrow and a slight frown creased her features. "What?"

"I am Antares," I repeated a little louder. "I..." I wiped my eyes again to get rid of any remaining tears. "I guess there's not as much TD left anymore. He's still there, I'll always be TD, but after everything that's happened, after having ponies charge into battle and willingly risk their lives, all for me? To split open the sky and rain down hellfire on my enemies? To rule over a nation in a time of war? I can't see TD doing that." I took another deep breath. "I'm in too far now, really. I wouldn't go back to Earth now if a portal presented itself and you said you could turn me human again."

Saying that out loud sent a slight pain through me that had nothing to do with the arrow wound, but I pressed on.

"I know I haven't ruled over this land very long, and sometimes not very well, but this is who I have to be now. This is what life has given me, and I accept it now. I... I don't know what I'm going to do about helping Twilight, or if she even wants this anymore, but as for me, I am Antares. I have to be."

Celestia stared down at me in silence for a few moments as if studying my face to see if I was lying. I stared back up at her, my face not wavering for a moment. Finally Celestia ran her hoof down my head again and gently kissed me on the forehead.

"You will recover, Antares, I am sure of it. Long will you reign, and I foresee our little ponies prospering under your good and wise rule."

Celestia gently laid me back down on the hospital bed and used her magic to pull my blankets over me. "It is getting late, Antares, and I need to see to Luna. I will speak to her about earlier. She knows you do not hate her, it is just..." Celestia grimaced and shook her head. "This is not what she needed. These are not the scars that she needed brought to light again."

I chanced a light snort and settled deeper into the blankets. "As if any wounds we want healed need to be violently opened again without warning." I raised a hoof up for Celestia to squeeze. "Tell her I forgive her, alright? I hope that does her a little good."

Celestia gave me a small smile. "I think it will."

With a final kiss, Celestia walked out of the room, leaving me alone once more. I knew this time that I wasn't completely alone. I had a call button to press the moment I needed something, and Celestia would be right at my side the moment I asked, but I did agree that Luna needed her sister at the moment.

But I didn't want to go to sleep. Despite Celestia's assurances to the contrary, I wasn't sure that if I did go to sleep I'd wake up again. As an alicorn, I technically didn't need sleep, but that was under normal circumstances. When our bodies needed to heal, we needed sleep just like any other pony.

And now here, alone in my room with just my thoughts as company, my eyelids began feeling heavy. I shifted in my bed as I tried to stay awake, but as anypony who has tried to stay awake knows, the harder you try, the faster you fall asleep. I could ask a doctor or nurse for something to keep me awake, but they'd never go for it. They'd want me to get a good night's rest.

But then I might never wake up. I might go back to that world of fog and shadows and ruins for the rest of time. I gripped my sheets tightly as my eyelids began drooping. I couldn't fall asleep. I had to stay awake so I wouldn't die. I couldn't...

My eyes snapped open some time later, and I shot to my hooves with a jolt. I looked around wildly, hoping to see Celestia or Luna or some doctor around to tell me that everything was okay, but...

All I saw was shadow and fog.

I whimpered and flattened my ears. This place didn't even have the ruins of my castle. It was merely blank open space as far as I could see. Like the opposite of the place I had come to ascend. I shivered and sat on my haunches, hoping that this wasn't death. If this is all there was, then I had to admit, I felt a little disappointed in it. Just fog and shadow? Still, the last time I had come to a place like this and thought I died I was wrong, so maybe this time...

My ears swiveled around when I heard a noise behind me; a noise that sounded like... hoofsteps. I shot to my hooves and turned to face the sound. From out in the distance I saw a shadowy figure approaching me. Even though I couldn't see who it was, my gut told me that this was something different from Strawberry Fields or my dead soldiers. I sucked in a breath and raised a hoof as if to run in the opposite direction, but I knew nothing would come of that. Not in this place.

The shadowy figure came closer, and it began to take a form. It was an earth pony and male, I think. He had a short, slicked back mane, and an equally short tail. He had dark gray fur, which I could only tell by looking at his face, as the rest of his body was covered by a dark gray coat he wore. I noted with some distaste the kind of self-satisfied smile on his face as he approached me. He said nothing when he stopped just a few hooves in front of me, choosing instead to bow low. Even though I knew nothing about him, I sensed heaps of sarcasm in the action.

I think I would know.

"Princess Antares. A pleasure."

His voice was rich baritone, and almost as self-satisfied as his grin. He raised himself up and fixed me in an unblinking gaze. "I welcome you."

Not knowing what else to do, I inclined my head in a small nod. "Uh... thanks, I guess."

The pony chuckled and rubbed his forehead. "You guess? Charming, Princess Antares. Or TD. Whatever you wish to be called." He lowered his hoof. "It is Antares now, isn't it? You think the human TD side of you isn't the dominant one anymore now that you've done and seen some of the things you have."

I gave him a slight glare. "I get the feeling you're going to call me what you want."

The figure gave a gasp of mock indignation. "Now, now Antare-TD, there are manners that must be observed. Not even I want to go around and be rude to everypony I come into contact with; it would further dampen my already spotty reputation. Besides, you're royalty, and one must be respectful of royalty."

"Uh-huh." I tapped my hoof on the foggy ground. "So you say you already have a spotty reputation? I take it you're Death, then? Or some keeper of the underworld, here to take me to what lies beyond?"

To my surprise, instead of gleefully admitting that I had gotten it right, the figure's smile slowly faded, and his expression morphed into one that looked rather... disappointed. He sighed and patted his mane. "Death. I suppose you can call me that if you'd like. Death, The Reaper, Charon, Azrael, I've had hundreds of names throughout the eons, Antares, and I'll have hundreds more before the end."

"Are you a literal incarnation of death or just a psychopomp?"

Death shrugged. "I guess you could call me both, but for our purposes, I'm here as the former, not the latter."

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a slight frown. "You're not here to take me to the afterlife?"

Death bit his upper lip and stared at me, and my stomach clenched when I saw the hungry look in his eyes.

"I would certainly like to." He raised a hoof and slowly began reaching out to me. "An alicorn. Even if you haven't ruled for the eons that Celestia or Luna have, or seen the time pass by that Discord played with, you're still an Alpha Alicorn; an immortal. Your very nature goes against what I do." Death's hungry look turned to one of pure fury, and I could almost see the fire blazing in his eyes. He slammed his hoof on the ground. "I am DEATH, and you do not die! The passage of time beats all others into submission, but Celestia and Luna are eternal rocks that weather that storm! It tires them, it can temporarily weaken them, but it will not break them!"

Before I could respond, the fire went out of his eyes just as quickly as it had entered, and his smile returned. "Well, not yet anyway. If something does not happen that kills Celestia in an unnatural way, the sun will one day extinguish as all stars must, and once it does..." Death's smirk became a full-blown grin, and he licked his unnervingly pointy teeth with the tip of his tongue. "Celestia will die. Luna will soon follow." Death's grin faded into a wistful look. "Unless something unnatural happens, as I said. Like the Nightmare Weapons. You would not believe how excited I was when Luna began creating those."

My eyes narrowed and I flared out my wings halfway. "You mean Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon created the Nightmare Weapons, not Luna."

Death snorted. "Yes, because that's why Luna ran out crying at the hospital earlier when she saw what a mess you were. Because it was someone else and not her that created the weapons." My glare hardened, and Death shrugged. "Fine Nightmare Moon. Whatever. My point is, I thought I was finally going to get to taste an alicorn! The immortal, steadfast, death-defying alicorns brought low."

"But you're not here to do that to me?"

Death shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not. Believe me, the day will come when you and I will walk through the Shadowlands together, but today is not that day. No..." Death took a deep breath. "I'm here to restore some balance. There is an order to things, and I know you cannot understand what that is, but there are forces at work far beyond what you understand. Suffice to say, as much as I would like you dead..." Death's mouth curved into a slight grimace. "I need you alive even more."

I snorted and gave my best impression of Death's own smirk. "You need me alive? Isn't that kind of ironic?"

"The irony is not lost on me either, but that is how it needs to be." Death motioned to the void around us. "As I said before, there are forces greater than you. Oh, I'm not saying gods or fate, or whatever, but there's just a balance to things. A way it should be. The Elements of Harmony hit you and not Twilight Sparkle for a very good reason. When that little faggot Sinosis, not his real name, by the way, he just liked the Old Griffish translation, hit you with that Nightmare Weapon, he upset some plans of mine. I'm here to restore them."

Did Death just call...?

I couldn't think about that. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and turned to the matter at hoof. "I don't get it, though. What plans? Why do you need me alive? Not that I want to die, quite the opposite, but you seem to be implying that I'm just some chess piece of yours."

Death shrugged. "I wouldn't really say that. I'm restoring balance so that you can do what you would have done had you not come here. My part in this is my business. I need you alive. You need you alive. Equestria needs you alive." Death raised an eyebrow at me. "Wouldn't you say that it benefits all parties involved if you were alive, then?"

I frowned at him, but slowly nodded my head. "I... yeah. I don't want to die."

"Good." Death walked up to me and, with a surprising amount of force, put a hoof on my shoulder and pushed me onto my haunches. "Then I shall see you at another time, Antares. Not today, not tomorrow, not even in the near future. You will survive your wound from this Nightmare Weapon." That nasty grin spread across Death's face again. "Others will not be so lucky. All that to say, I will see you again. Nothing is truly eternal."

I returned his smug smirk. "Not even you?"

Death chuckled and condescendingly patted my bald head. "Now Antares, surely you must have thought about this: what would happen to the physical incarnation of Death when there is nothing left to die?"

With that, Death leaned forward and, to my utter surprise, kissed me full on the mouth. I flinched back, but even then I could feel the spark of life in my chest, which rapidly began spreading throughout my body. The world of fog and shadow began fading away as Death pulled out of the kiss. The last thing I saw was his grinning face staring at me.

"We shall see each other again, Antares. I look forward to it."

Tears in the Rain

When I left the hospital, I discovered that it was pouring rain outside. A measure to not only reflect the somber mood of the city, but also to wash away the blood on the battlefield, I suspected. I doubted that the rain would fully wash it away.

I pushed those thoughts away and turned my focus to finding my sister. Her dark coat, the night, and the rain would make this problematic, but I had my suspicions on her whereabouts. I casted a spell to shield myself from the rain, took to the sky and flew towards Antares' palace.

When I arrived, I saw ponies cleaning up the bodies even in the rain. Giant wagons had been wheeled out onto the field. Ponies worked tirelessly to load the corpses into the wagons, while some unicorn spellcasters worked their magic to ensure that the wagons remained steady. I noted that the wagons carrying pony bodies were covered with tarps to preserve them from the weather, while the griffin corpses had been thrown haphazardly into uncovered wagons to rot.

I still needed to figure out what was to be done with them. I considered burning.

I took my gaze from the gruesome sight and flew higher so that the tops of Antares' castle stood below me. I lit up my horn and focused the energy into a sort of searchlight, scanning the rooftops for my sister. My search proved successful, and within a few moments my beam of light landed on a night blue alicorn, curled up into a ball and shivering. The rain battered her form, but she ignored it. I turned the light off and flew down next to her. I realized with a small feeling of pain that Luna had chosen the very rooftop where Antares and I spent many nights together talking. Where we had shared a kiss...

My hooves touched the ground and I extended my shield spell to cover Luna. She made no sign that she noticed that the rain no longer beat down upon her, though now that I stood closer to her, I could hear her sobbing. I grimaced and sat down next to her, casting a spell that dried her fur.

"Luna..." I put a hoof on her back, and she violently flinched away.

"Leave me be, Tia!" she hissed. "There are no words you can give me that will ever undo what I have done."

"Luna, please." I extended a wing and gently placed it on her back. "You needn't torture yourself like this. What happened here today was not your fault. The blame lies entirely on the griffins and whomever they are working for. That has nothing to do with your fall!"

"Does it not, Tia?" Luna snarled, snapping her head up and glaring at me. "Art thou saying that the griffins would still have the nerve to attack if they did not believe that they had the means to kill Antares?! If I had not created the Nightmare Weapons, they would not have attacked here this day!" Luna pointed out to the remains of the battlefield. "The brave ponies who were slaughtered by the invaders would be safe at home! I may not have ordered the attack, but I gave them the means to do so!"

"Luna, you couldn't have known that there were still Nightmare Weapons around!" I pointed out. "I went on a great purge to rid the land of them after the war!"

"And yet here they are," Luna muttered bitterly. "Antares may die yet. It matters not if I did not believe the rumors that Aepnet had Nightmare Weapons. I created them, and thus I am the one who is to blame for this! Can you tell me with certainty that this day's events would still have happened if I had never created Nightmare Weapons?"

"Luna, I don't know." I sighed and closed my eyes, not wishing to look at the field of corpses any longer. "Luna, I know this hurts."

"You have no idea how I feel, Celestia," Luna growled.

I flinched back ever so slightly. She never uses my full name in private. I shook my head and took a deep breath for another try.

"Very well, maybe I don't. Maybe I don't understand what it's like to look down and see a field of slain ponies, knowing that it was your mistakes that made the difference between a new graveyard and a victory parade with more happy families." I opened my eyes and looked over at Luna. "But you know that's not true, don't you?"

Luna's face twisted into a snarl and she pushed my wing off of her. "Leave me be, Celestia!"

"Lulu, I do know how much this hurts. I do understand the pain." I reached a hoof towards her own. "Please just talk to me."

"What do you wish me to say, Celestia?" Luna screeched, jumping to her hooves. "That I hurt you again? That I inadvertently caused the deaths of hundreds of our subjects? That one of my best friends and your lover is lying in the hospital contorting in pain because I made my Nightmare Weapons so effective and intentionally made them painful?" Luna snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, but I am sure that despite creating the Nightmare Weapons, attuning them so that they didn't affect me, making them as torturous and dark as possible, making dozens upon dozens of them, and distributing them amongst my soldiers with the express purpose of murdering you, which in turn meant that many vanished when I was defeated, that none of this is my fault at all!"

I gave Luna an even stare for a few moments as I chewed over her words. I could see her sorrows. I know I have made mistakes that cause my own. After a minute, I slowly stood up and looked her in the eye.

"Luna, I have spoken to Antares, and she says that she does not blame you in any way. What happened here today is the fault of the griffins who invaded and those behind them, not you."

"Explain that to the hundreds of families who will be grieving the violent losses of their loved ones," Luna retorted. "And the news of Antares? How she was felled? How long before our ponies find out what a Nightmare Weapon is and who created them?"

"Nightmare Moon created them, Luna, not you!" I snapped, slamming my hoof on the ground.

"And who was Nightmare Moon?"

"An evil entity that is not you!"

"Oh?" Luna scoffed and looked down at the battlefield again. "And whom did The Nightmare possess? Whose jealousy and rage did it feed off of?" Luna shook her head. "No, Tia. Whatever paltry words of false comfort you intend to give, you know as well as I that they ring hollow. I caused the deaths of more of our subjects. I may not have given the order, but I gave the means."

"Luna, you are literally the only pony in all of Equestria who is blaming you for this!" I took a step closer to her. "I understand your hurt, Luna, but if you are to truly help our ponies and Princess Antares through this time then you need to forgive yourself!"

Luna stared silently down at the battlefield, watching the workers dragging around the bloody bodies. For a moment she looked over at me, and I could see a look of utter helplessness in her eyes, like she was reaching out for me to save her.

But only for a moment.

She turned her head back to the sight below us and slowly shook her head.

"You say that as though I had done something forgivable."

Before I could say anything else, Luna ignited her horn and burst my shield spell, letting rain fall on the both of us, before spreading her wings and flying into the night.

I failed. There's no two ways about it.

I had one job: protect Princess Antares, and I blew it. I'm a stupid bucking useless excuse for a guard, much less the captain.

I drained my fourth glass of the swill that I had bought off of some corner store that they pretended was bourbon. Hey, at least it was cheap. It's not like I deserved anything better right then anyway. Still, I guess I should have been glad that Princess Antares was doing better. It had been a week since The Battle of Baltimare, and Princess Antares was up and walking last I heard. Slow, pained steps, but she didn't look like she'd die.

As I poured myself a fifth glass, I heard the door to my private quarters in the barracks open. I groaned and put a hoof on my forehead.

"Go away. I'm busy."

"Yeah, crawling inside a bottle and moping. You look really busy, Blaze."

I sighed and turned around to see Lieutenant Rapids standing behind me out of her armor. Funny, I had forgotten that she had that nice aquamarine coat. I didn't like that her lips were pursed. She can't make that face at a superior officer! I scoffed and waved my hoof at her.

"You don't know what you're talking about, River. I'm busy coping."

"Yeah, I can see that." She leaned in and sniffed me. "Not busy showering, though." She walked to my side and picked up the bottle in her foreleg. She raised it to her lips for a sip, but the moment it hit her tongue, she spat it back out and put the bottle down.

"Antares dammit, Burning, what the Tartarus is that?"

"Cheap." I drained my glass and reached for my bottle again, but River scoffed and swiped the bottle aside, sending it tumbling off of my desk and neatly into a trashcan where it promptly shattered.

I didn't care for her action.

"What the Tartarus, River?!" I screeched. "You have no right to--"

"Oh like heck I don't," River said with a roll of her eyes. "You're being a complete disgrace, you know that? I thought you were a better stallion than this, but I guess I was wrong, huh?"

"Yep, you were. We both were. I thought I was a good captain; I thought I could make a difference." I put my head in my hooves and sighed. "I thought that I could be a good snarcastic guard, and I could serve Princess Antares for a long time, but the first freaking time something comes up, I can't even stop her from getting shot!" I glanced over at River out of the corner of my eye. "I'm worthless. I'm a freaking pitiful excuse for a guard. I'm resigning, River. I'm leaving the guard."

Drunk as I was, I found myself completely unprepared for the hoof that collided with my side. I grunted in pain and curled up from the blow, causing me to fall out of my chair. I managed to look up at River, who was giving me a livid glare I had never seen before.

"YOU ARE A STUPID FUCKING WIMPY PUSSYHOOFED BITCH, YOU KNOW THAT?" River stomped towards me and slammed her hoof down on my head, pinning me to the floor. "I SAW A GRIFFIN SEE ONE OF HIS FELLOW RAIDERS GET EVAPORATED BY PRINCESS CELESTIA, AND WHEN SHE TURNED ON HIM, HE FUCKING WET HIMSELF! HE STILL HAD TEN TIMES THE GUTS THAT YOU DO!" I tried to push her hoof off, but she ground it into my head, keeping me down. "I should just let you wallow; knock you out and drop you at the back door of the nearest run down bar."

"Then do it," I groaned. "You wouldn't have to see this."

"I would, you self absorbed prick. I would but I know you a little better than that. You can be better if you just sack up and do something." River's hoof let up a touch, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding in. "You can't leave, Burning. You can't leave because you have to be more loyal than that. You have to be, because you can't leave me with this mess like that! If you leave then I am fucking alone!"

River let out a single sob and collapsed onto her haunches, freeing me completely. I raised my head and rubbed my temple where her hoof had slammed down. She lowered her head, and I saw tears drip onto the floor.

"Sergeant Stones is dead! Sergeant Force is dead! Private Arrow lost a leg and isn't ever going to walk the same way ever again! Private Fields lost one of her wings and one of her eyes! Hundreds of civilians who hardly know what a weapon is charged into that battle and hundreds aren't ever going to wake up again!" River's head slowly raised, and she looked up at me with watery red eyes. "You can't quit and leave me alone. All of the soldiers will be looking to you and me to get them through this. If you quit... it's all me. I'm alone. I can't do that, Burning. I'm not a natural born leader like Princess Antares or Princess Celestia or even you. I... I'm a secondary leader. That's what I'm good at. I can't have everypony looking at me with fear in their eyes, knowing that I am literally the only one that they can turn to, that all the decisions rest on me."

I shakily pushed myself up to my haunches and ran a hoof through my disheveled mane. "River..." I considered putting a hoof on her shoulder, but not knowing how that would affect her mood and not wanting to get hit again, I decided against it. "River, you are a leader. Princess Antares wouldn't have chosen you if she didn't think beyond a shadow of a doubt that you could lead the ponies under your command, alright? I saw you on the battlefield. You didn't falter for a moment. You took charge, and a lot of ponies who would have died otherwise are alive because of your orders, I'm sure of it."

"I can say the same thing about you, Burning!" River moaned. "Why can't you see that? Why can't you see that you are just as good of a soldier as I am? Heck, a better one? We wouldn't be in as good of a shape right now if you weren't out leading the troops."

"Yeah, 'better condition,' I scoffed. "Princess Antares only barely survived. She got shot with a freaking Nightmare Weapon. It doesn't matter how many of us survived if she didn't. She united us, gave us a purpose, River. She's a princess: an alpha alicorn. Now that she's survived this, she'll reign for millennium after the bones of our great-great-great-great grandfoals have turned into dust. All I can do in this time I have in life that is no more than a blink of an eye to her is make sure that she is safe and protected so that she in turn may protect and rule future generations, and I couldn't do that. I had one job, River. All of my duties as captain boiled down to one thing, and I failed her." I shook my head and stood up, stumbling slightly because of the alcohol.

"You didn't see it, River. You didn't see her lying on the ground, shivering and crying like a newborn foal. You didn't see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna covered in her blood. You didn't see how fucking helpless she looked..." I slowly walked to my door, ignoring River's sniffling. "I could have prevented that, but I was too weak. I wasn't smart enough or brave enough or tactically brilliant enough."

"We were outnumbered almost two-to-one, even with the civilian reinforcements, Burning," Rapids whimpered. "What exactly do you think you could have done that would have saved Princess Antares from being shot in a battle like that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. And that just proves my point. A better commander would."

I walked to the door, but was stopped when I heard River speak again. "You're a coward, Burning. One situation arose that you couldn't completely control and you decide to run. Well let me tell you something: Princess Antares isn't dead, she's alive, and she's going to need everypony loyal to her that she can get. Are you loyal to her, or are you just going to run?"

"I am eternally loyal to Princess Antares and always want to do what's best for her. I would do anything for her." I pushed open the door to my quarters. "And the best thing for her is removing an inept commander from a weakened force that doesn't need one right now."

I walked down the mostly empty streets of Baltimare towards the hospital, making sure to go slowly so that I wouldn't trip and hurt myself. That would just be the fitting end, wouldn't it? I looked up from the pavement and saw all of the shops and homes that I passed draped in black flags emblazoned with the blood red scorpion. Black for mourning, the scorpion to show support for Princess Antares. The whole city of Baltimare was like this. Last I heard, most other Equestrian cities had at least some ponies doing this. I heard that Ponyville went as all-out with it as Baltimare.

I reached the hospital and walked inside. I wasn't wearing my armor, but the doctors still recognized me as Princess Antares' captain of the guard, so they let me inside without a second thought. I knew the route to Princess Antares' room by heart. I hoped they'd move her out of the ICU soon.

I approached her room, and the six soldiers guarding it snapped to attention and saluted me. I gave them a half-hearted salute back and mumbled "at ease" before walking past them and into Princess Antares' room. When I got inside, I saw Princess Antares slowly walking around her bed. I could see the pain coursing throughout her body with every step, but the doctors said that she needed to start moving around. She did it every hour on the hour, and she spent the rest of the time recovering from the walk, but she did them without complaint.

Princess Antares slowly turned around and saw me standing behind her. She gave me a warm smile, a smile that fell when she saw the state I was in.

"Sheesh, Captain Blaze, I thought I looked terrible. What have you been doing? You--" Her words were cut off when she became overtaken with a violent bout of coughing. She turned her head and extended her hoof towards me as a signal to hold on for a moment while her loud, wheezing coughs filled the room. After a few moments, she cleared her throat and shook her head. "I hate it when that happens," she muttered, though her voice sounded weaker. She gave a half wing shrug and shuffled over to her bed, where she gently, but painfully, eased into it. I walked over to her and ignited my horn to pour her a cup of water, which she took with a word of ‘thanks’.

After draining two cups, Princess Antares cleared her throat again and pulled the blankets up over her body. "Now, as I was saying: you haven't been working too hard, have you, Captain Blaze? I know our soldiers need you, especially with little ol' me down right now, but you need to take care of yourself too, you know."

I grunted and sat down at a nearby chair, looking down at the clean white tile floor. I couldn't do it; I couldn't look her in the eye and see her joking smirk. Not knowing how weak she truly was. I flattened my ears and ran a hoof through my mane. I could feel her smile falling again. She knew something was up.

"Captain Blaze? Did something happen?"

I let out a half chuckle that held no real humor to it. I just needed to say this and get it over with. River was right: I am a coward.

"Princess Antares, I..." I ground my teeth together and forced myself to raise my head to look at her. The uncertainty in her eyes only hurt me more. "I would like to officially give you my resignation. By not preventing you from being shot with the Nightmare Weapon, I failed in my duties to protect you. It was my singular duty to ensure your safety, and I utterly failed you. I do not deserve to be your captain. You deserve somepony actually competent to hold the position."

I expected Princess Antares to give a nod of agreement. Maybe some begging for me to stay, with lots of looks of hurt. Instead she merely stared at me, a blank look on her face that would have made Celestia herself have difficulty guessing her thought process. After a few moments, though, she let out a quiet sigh and her face shifted to one of utter disappointment. She closed her eyes and put a hoof to her temple.

"Oh Captain Blaze. My most valued of soldiers. Do you really not understand?"

I raised my eyebrow at the question. "Understand what? I failed to protect you. What's there to understand?"

"Do you really think that I'm the only pony in all of Equestria? That I'm somehow more important than anypony in existence just because I'm bigger, stronger, more powerful, and I have wings and a horn?" She shook her head. "No. I'm not. I'm not saying that I'm not an important pony, because we both know that's not true in the slightest. I'm an extremely important pony, but what makes you think that saving the lives of dozens, if not hundreds of ponies by turning a disorganized mess into a fighting force with your leadership is worth nothing because I got shot? A lot more ponies would have died were it not for your orders. Think about it, Captain Blaze: your actions saved lives. There will be generations because of what you did."

"But you're a princess!" I shot to my hooves. "You are more important! You're a goddess in pony form! I may have ensured a few generations, but you are eternal! You will see the generations I have ensured turned to dust, but if I was better at protecting you, I could ensure that you would rule them justly and wisely as long as they endured!"

"Eternal?" Princess Antares snorted and crossed her forelegs. "Is that what you think?"

My reply died in my throat, and I had to think for a moment to formulate my answer. "I mean... aren't you? You, Celestia, and Luna are eternal, right? I mean, you're all immortal! You don't age, you don't get sick, you don't get hurt by weapons like we ponies do. Y-you're eternal, right?"

"Immortal, yes. Eternal?" She shook her head. "Not a chance, Captain Blaze."

"I..."

"Captain, someday, hopefully tens, if not hundreds of thousands of years from now, the world is going to end. If I'm still alive when it does, I assure you that I won't be afterwards. Death comes for us all, Captain Blaze, he just has to be a heck of a lot more patient with some of us than with others."

I chewed that over for a moment, but only a moment. Princess Antares didn't seem keen on letting me think about it for much longer.

"Now, about your request: I'm going to deny it."

My eyes widened. "But--"

"You don't understand what it means to be a true member of my guard, and I do blame myself for that. It's not about unwavering devotion to me, though that is certainly a part of it. It's about protecting the civilians; the ponies who can't fend for themselves when life gets dangerous. I'm an alpha alicorn, Captain Blaze. In time I'll get to the point where I could go up against the army we fought and single-hoofedly turn it into dust. You may not have that strength, but do not mistake that as me saying that you have no strength, because you do." Princess Antares sighed and rubbed the top of her head, where her mane was just starting to grow back. "This is more than just me. This is about Equestria. In ruling Equestria, I serve it. In serving me, you also serve Equestria. I protect Equestria, and so too do you. Tell me, Captain Blaze: of what importance am I if I have no ponies to watch over and protect? I may be immortal and exceptionally powerful, but if I don't use that to rule Equestria justly and protect it, then what good am I?"

I stayed silent as I mulled over what she said to me. I couldn't believe my ears. She was important. She had to be the most important thing. Without her, what would any of us do?

"Captain Blaze, on the whole I don't need protecting nearly as much as the ponies of Equestria do, and I would not have picked you for my captain if I did not think that you were up to the task, and I know you still are, despite your doubts."

"I can't, Princess Antares," I muttered. "I can't fail you again."

"The best way to do that is to re-evaluate your priorities. Figure out who you really serve and protect." Princess Antares sighed again and leaned her head back against her pillow. "If you are so set on this, then I'll demote you to a private, but the moment you ask for the captain's post again, it's yours."

"I understand, Princess."

"Good." She took a deep breath and waved her hoof towards the door. "You're dismissed. You don't have to leave the captain's quarters yet. I won't make the announcement official until I get out of this wretched place. That should give you enough time to think on whether or not you've made the right choice, yeah?"

"Yes, Princess Antares."

With that, I walked towards the door, fully intending to go back to that corner store and buy something a little better, but Princess Antares put a stop to that.

"Oh, and I also order you to take a shower."

I always hated being underground. I liked the sunshine a lot better. Underneath the earth is just so dark and dank, and it's always cold. I held back a shiver and pulled my cloak tighter around me. I wouldn't do this, but the Diamond Dogs had something that I wanted.

I glanced to my left at one of the guards escorting me. He was dressed in ratty armor and carrying a sharp flint spear. He constantly glanced back at the three large bags that my own escort carried. Well, he needn't have worried, I had what he wanted. I just hoped that his boss has what I wanted.

Our group reached a metal door, and the dog to my right knocked loudly on it three times. A little hatch opened up in the door, and I saw the peering eyes of another dog staring out at us.

"The ponies have come," the dog growled. "They have brought the payment."

The dog on the other side of the door grunted and slammed the hatch. After a few moments, I heard a lock click, and the door opened, revealing a slightly cozier room. The furnishings were nicer, and the lamps provided more warmth than in the tunnels. In the middle of the room was a large table and two chairs. On the chair opposite me sat a large, grinning Diamond Dog, drumming his claws on a large metal case.

My prize.

They nodded at me, and we entered the room. I took the initiative and sat down opposite the dog, while my four escort ponies fanned out behind me in a semi-circle. The dog scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"There is no need for this cloak nonsense, pony. No one unfriendly here to see you. Take your hood off at least."

I smirked from underneath my hood and waggled my light green hoof at him. "Now now, you know as well as I that subterfuge is part of the game, Mr..."

"Warlord Jhunah," the dog spat. "Address me by my proper title or our business is concluded, and I know your employer would not appreciate you coming back empty hooved!"

I tilted my head in a nod. "My apologies, Warlord Jhunah. I meant no disrespect."

Jhunah scoffed again. "Silly pony mare means no disrespect. We shall see. Now..." Jhunah looked behind me at the large bags my escorts carried. "You brought the payment?"

"Of course I did. My employer would pay anything for what you have." I waved my hoof at the bags. "Twelve million bits, five million dinars, and eight million gryphs, just as instructed."

My escorts carrying the bags walked forward and deposited them at the paws of Jhunah, who gave me a greedy grin and opened up the first of the bags. He giggled and reached inside, pulling out a pawful of dinars.

"Excellent, pony. Your boss knows how to make a Diamond Dog very happy."

"Yes, and I'm sure you know how to return the favor, yes?"

Jhunah grunted and pushed the case over to me. I undid the clasps and raised the top, revealing a long, pitch black spear. Even from where I sat, I could feel the dark energy radiating off of it.

"A Nightmare Weapon," Jhunah crooned. "Our clan has had that for centuries, passed down from generations. Pony princesses don't know because their reach doesn't extend this far underground. Of course, we only recently found out just what it was exactly, so..." He shrugged and opened up the bag of gryphs.

I reached into the case and grabbed the spear in my forelegs. The instant I touched it, I felt some of the energy zap my forelegs as though I received some kind of electric shock. I yelped and dropped the spear instantly, something that made all of the dogs in the room laugh.

"Oh, you ponies and your innate magic," Jhunah giggled. "Dark magic would affect any of you, even the non-unicorns."

"I was just unprepared, that's all," I muttered. "It doesn't matter. My employer will give it to somepony who knows how to use it."

"Yes, and I do hope that somepony has more success in killing Princess Antares than that dolt Sinosis."

"Of course he will!" I snapped. "The crown will not be expecting a second Nightmare Weapon to appear in so short a time, and Princess Antares is weak! My employer was foolish to employ Sinosis to engage Antares' army, we see that now. We will use more discretion this time."

"You'd better if you're going to kill her, but I'll be interested to see if you do. I was surprised to be contacted by you. I heard rumors that her assassination plot was carried out by someone outside of Equestria." Jhunah reached out a claw and tapped the case. "In either case, that weapon will be legendary if you pull it off. No one has ever killed an alpha alicorn before. Antares' Bane, they'll call it. The Scorpion Slayer maybe. Who knows? I got all I need from you. You can turn the thing into a flagpole for all I care."

"And we have all we need from you. Thank you for the weapon."

Jhunah grunted in response and opened up the bag of bits. Just as he did, I fired up my horn for a spell. Before he could react, the insides of all three bags exploded into a white light that blinded everyone in the room.

Well, everyone in the room not protected by my magic.

The instant the enchanted gems hidden inside the bags exploded, my escorts took out hidden blades and charged the stunned Diamond Dogs. I sat completely still, staring at the black spear before me while trying to ignore the shrieks and gurgles of dogs being slaughtered all around me. I never really liked violence, but I knew that sometimes it was necessary.

After a few minutes, the white light faded away, revealing Jhunah curled up in a ball on the ground, his paws covering his head. Everyone else in the room, besides my escorts, were dead. I sighed and closed the briefcase before standing up and walking over to him. He lowered his arms and looked up at me, his eyes wide with terror.

"You... you double-crossing nag! You betrayed me!"

"No, I ensured the security of Equestria."

A look of confusion crossed his face, and he looked from me to my escorts, then back to me. "I... who are you?"

I ignited my horn again and took off my cloak, revealing to him a green pegasus pony. His eyes narrowed in confusion, but I continued channeling my magic until my disguise washed away, revealing my true form. His eyes widened and he started crawling backwards.

"P-Princess Cadenza! I..." He looked around at my disguised Blade Wings who were rapidly closing in on him. "I d-didn't really mean to sell a Nightmare Weapon. I-in fact, I don't think it's even real!"

"It's real," I said, glaring at him. "That thing is very real."

"If you let me go I'll help you find more!" He held out a claw as if to stop my soldiers from arresting him. "Celestia and Luna want all of the Nightmare Weapons destroyed, right? Well, I'll help with that!"

I would have responded, but I heard a loud knocking on the metal door, something that triggered a triumphant smile on Jhunah's face.

"Hah! You didn't think about that, did you? I have reinforcements just outside this door!" Jhunah pushed himself to his paws. "I guess we're going to find out if Nightmare Weapons work after all, won't we, Cadenza?"

I rolled my eyes and ignited my horn to open the door, revealing two of Auntie Lulu's bat pony guards. They walked in and inclined their heads in small bows.

"Princess Cadance, the rest of the den surrendered without a fight. They have agreed to leave this matter behind them if they are not harmed."

I nodded. "Good." I turned back to Jhunah, whose smug smile had shifted into a look of utter horror. "Take this..." I motioned to Jhunah, "and this..." I pointed to the Nightmare Weapon, "to Princess Luna. I'm sure she'll want to deal with them both personally."

Jhunah whimpered and fell to his knees as one of my guards secured him with chains. "I didn't mean what I said about killing you, Princess Cadenza! I just--"

A glare from one of the bat ponies silenced him, and the two bat ponies and two of my guards dragged him out of the room without another word.

I closed my eyes and walked over to a wall to take a few deep breaths. I flinched when the memory of touching the Nightmare Weapon replayed in my mind. Before I could do anything to stop myself, I let out a low groan and vomited all over the floor. My two soldiers ran to me, catching me as before I hit the ground. I'm kinda surprised that I stayed standing as long as I did.

"Princess Cadance, are you okay?"

I slowly nodded and wiped my mouth with the back of my hoof. "Yes, Commander Skies, I'll be fine in a little bit." I closed my eyes and shuddered. "But that thing was evil. Princess Antares was actually shot with one of those things?" I swallowed a little bit of bile that started coming up my throat. "We need to find more, Commander. We found one, and it's a good start, but I want every single one of those things gone from Equestria."

Merciless

I took a deep breath and raised my head, relishing that, for the first time in a long time, breathing wasn't quite the pain that it used to be. I wasn’t quite at one hundred percent, but that would come in time, obviously.

I survived. Sinosis' plot to kill me failed, and now the doctors had officially discharged me from Baltimare General.

After three freaking months.

I love all of my subjects. I'm an Equestrian princess, and I've made it my duty for the rest of time to serve and protect them. Having said all of that, I cannot understate my joy at seeing the back of the hospital and the doctors. If I never entered that place again I'd be quite pleased for several reasons. No more sick me, no more sick and dying soldiers who fought for me...

I looked at the detachment of sixty soldiers all looking around at the surrounding flag adorned buildings with suspicion, as if expecting another thousand griffins to pop out at any moment. Well, they wouldn't. After the way Celestia and Luna slaughtered them, on top of how Cadance had been ruthlessly searching for Nightmare Weapons, anyone who wanted to kill me would lay pretty low right now.

Of course, there is the matter of the griffins we had right then.

In the tail end of my recovery, I had spent a lot of time thinking about the POWs. As raiders, they didn't technically fall under military jurisdiction of an established nation. So the griffins wouldn't go to war if we started torturing them. Of course, we wouldn't, but the fact remained that we could do anything we wanted to them. Aepnet had made a statement since my attempted assassination, publicly renouncing them. We had them at our complete mercy.

And they were our key to finding out who was behind all of this.

As we walked down the street towards my palace, we saw dozens, if not hundreds of ponies who lined the streets. They did not cheer, but I saw each and every one of them bow at me. Some of them waved the black and red scorpion flag that became a staple of Baltimare in my absence. The sight triggered memories of the dream I suffered through after the attack, and I stared straight ahead, not looking at any of them if I could help it. Half of me expected them to begin shouting at me that I had stolen their family members. I knew that some of the ponies watching had to have lost loved ones in the battle.

I deserved to be screamed at like that, didn't I? I mean, if I had just... something. If I had just paid better attention to the borders, or learned more magic to defeat the griffins as quickly as Celestia and Luna did or... anything, maybe more ponies would have survived.

I don't know. And that's not the way it's supposed to be. I have to know. I can't be helpless to my subjects. Never again.

I didn't say a word as we reached my palace, nor did I look at the ground as we walked inside. My peripheral vision told me that the battlefield had been cleaned up, and I'm sure that if I examined things carefully I wouldn't be able to tell that a bloody massacre had taken place there three months prior.

I walked into my palace, and was greeted by one of my surviving staff, Time Keeper. He bowed low to me and I returned it with a nod.

"Princess Antares, it is a joy to see you up and healthy again."

I forced my best smile on my face, which held a little joy, as every single surviving staff member was something to be happy about, given that Sinosis would have killed all of them if he could have. Nine was too many as it was.

"Thank you, Time Keeper. I am glad to be back. The hospital is no place for me."

Time Keeper chuckled and nodded. "We can all agree on that, Princess Antares. It is our greatest joy that you are up and about again. I hope that you are well enough to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I have heard that they will be arriving at any moment to meet with you regarding the griffon prisoners."

I sighed and nodded. Yes. Them. "Alright. I'll meet them in my..." My ear twitched. "My throne room. If you could retrieve Tulip, I would appreciate it. I would like her there to take notes."

Time Keeper's small smile fell. "Tulip is not feeling well, your majesty. Dr. Needle has suggested that she take it easy, though I assure you that her greatest wish is to be by your side."

I grimaced. "She isn't feeling well? Too bad. What's wrong with her?"

"Er..." Time Keeper's expression turned into a curious frown, and he tilted his head. "You have not heard? Tulip... Tulip is expecting, Princess Antares. She's already started to show. After the events of these past few months, Dr. Needle suggested that she keep it easy so as to not give herself unnecessary stress and potentially cause complications with the foal. That is why she has not been at your side this past month." Time Keeper raised an eyebrow. "You weren't told?"

"No. No I wasn't." I frowned and looked in the direction of the infirmary. "Hmm. Do we know who the sire is?"

"Yes, Princess Antares. Valiant Shield is the sire. They began seeing each other a few weeks before... all of this."

I breathed a slight sigh of relief. Valiant Shield was one of my primary guards, and one of the few who fought in the battle that escaped relatively unharmed. Good. I didn't want Tulip's foal to be without his or her father. I couldn't object to the match either. One of my most loyal soldiers with my most devoted servant is a good one. Pity a foal entered the mix so quickly and at such a time as this, but there was nothing to be done about that now. I nodded at Time Keeper and began walking towards my throne room.

"Very well. I'll go visit her later, okay? Keep me updated on her condition, especially if anything changes."

Time Keeper nodded. "Of course, Princess Antares. I will get an update for you on her at once."

"Good."

With all of that settled, Time Keeper went to the infirmary, allowing me to move on to my throne room without interruption. Upon reaching the large double doors, I paused for a moment. Last time I had gone through these doors I had been shot with a Nightmare Weapon, after all. But no, I realized I was being silly, and with a quick burst of magic from my horn, I opened up the doors and walked inside my throne room.

It was... different from the last time I had been in here, to say the least. My staff had gone all out in repairing whatever damage I had done in defeating my griffin attackers. The ceiling, walls, and pillars stood strong once more, and my throne sat proud where it had before this whole mess. I allowed myself a small smile and walked up to it, putting a hoof on its side. It almost felt like reconnecting with an old friend. Albeit an old friend I had beaten an assassin to death with.

I looked to the guards standing vigilantly beside my throne, and noticed that one of them was Valiant Shield. I gave him a smile which he returned with a salute.

"I hear you're going to be a father, Valiant. Congratulations."

"Er... thank you, Princess Antares." Valiant Shield bowed his head. "I admit that this is unexpected, but I'm not unhappy about it. We did agree that we both wanted a foal if we ever got married."

"Well you certainly have my blessing to do that. You two are among my most valued and loyal ponies."

That caused a smile to appear on his normally stoic face. "Thank you, Princess Antares. I promise that I will take care of the foal."

I gave an amused snort. "You'd better. I am the princess of foal services, after all. It wouldn't do to neglect a foal while working for me."

Before the conversation could continue, the doors to my throne room opened once more, and Celestia and Luna walked in, both followed by their respective captains. I turned around to walk over to them with a smile. It was good to not see them in a hospital setting. Celestia and I reached out and gave each other a loving nuzzle.

"It is good to see you out of the hospital, Antares," Celestia said. "You are looking very well."

"I definitely feel better," I agreed. "But..." My smile fell. "Given our topic of conversation, I'd imagine that's going to change quickly."

Celestia's own smile fell, and she gave a sad sigh. "Yes, I'd imagine so too. The griffin prisoners have stewed long enough, I feel. It is past time to find out who did this. We have, of course, been interrogating them, but none are willing to say anything of value. Perhaps your touch will get them to speak."

"Maybe." I thought back to when I interrogated the griffins on whether or not Aepnet hired Sinosis to sack the two border towns. "What have you been doing to get them to talk?"

"The usual carrot and stick tactics. They have said much, Antares, but it has all proven to be lies," Luna grumbled. "They give us contradicting information that often leads us on wild goose chases which eat up our time. If we interview them together, it is a nightmare, and separately is worse." Luna sighed and shook her head. "Maybe you will have more success with them."

"I think I will." I took a deep breath and cracked my neck. “I think that I will." I glanced over at Celestia. "You've been too soft on them, Celestia. I'm not going to torture them or anything, but keep in mind that these are the beings that attacked us, killed hundreds of our soldiers and civilians, and almost killed me. I won't forget that when I talk to them today, and neither should you."

In the end I decided to interrogate six of the higher-up griffins at once. Instead of using one of the larger rooms in the prison, as Celestia and Luna had done, I ordered that we move it to a smaller, more intimate space. They couldn't escape that way. The way they were restrained and with my guard, they couldn't attack either. Not that they could even if I was alone. I'd read up on that evaporation spell that Celestia and Luna used in the battle.

Celestia and Luna decided to let me handle the interrogation on my own, as I told them I had a plan on getting them to talk that would be best served if they weren't there. They trusted me on that. Good. They'd just get in the way.

The warden got me the griffins I wanted, and I entered the room I requested, Lieutenant Rapids and two other, lower ranking guards behind me. Unfortunately, Captain Blaze was now Private Blaze, as he had not rescinded his decision to allow me to demote him. He'd come around... I hoped.

As I entered the room, I saw the six griffins all standing straight, their wings bound to their sides, and their forelegs chained to a metal ring on the floor that prevented them from moving very far. A few of them bore scars, still fresh enough that I could tell how they'd gotten them. They all turned their heads when they saw me come in, and a few of them flinched. I took note of which ones.

"Good evening, gentlegriffins," I said, my voice completely even. I walked over to a large chair and table that had been put out for me. I sat down on the chair and took a drink from the glass bottle of soda on the table. "I can't say it's good to see you again, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. Celestia and Luna might have been easy on you, but I assure you that this meeting is going to be very unpleasant for you."

"Unless we cooperate, I take it?" one of the prisoners growled.

I smirked and raised my bottle to him before taking another drink. "He can be taught."

"Well if you've been talking to your other pony princesses, I'm sure you've heard that we're not so easy to crack," another said smugly. "We'll give you all of the information you want, Antares, and one or two completely insignificant details might be true, but it will be up to you to figure out what. Our employers told us what tricks you were going to use to try to make us talk and conditioned us against them. You're wasting your breath."

"Maybe," I said after another swig. "But you forget that I'm an immortal, so It's not like I'm going to run out of breath, you know? Your stunt was cute, but unsuccessful. As for typical Equestrian interrogation tactics: how many times have I interrogated captured enemies?"

The smug smiles on all of the griffins faded one by one, and I saw a few nervous glances exchanged. I chuckled and drained the rest of my soda.

"See, your employer trained you to stand up to the tactics of Celestia and Luna, but skipped the lecture on dealing with me." I stood up from the desk and began pacing back and forth in front of the captured griffins. "And let me tell you something: I'm very, very, very angry at you all for what you do did to me." My expression hardened into the scariest glare that I could muster, and I was pleased to see one of the griffins flinch back. "Statistically speaking, your survival means that you injured and killed several of my subjects and soldiers. I have no tolerance for beings that do either, do I make myself clear? You will tell me what I want to know if you value your continued existence. Celestia and Luna might try to use more carrot than stick, but I assure you that I am not like either of them. I will hurt you."

One of the griffins in the middle gave a weak scoff and rolled his eyes at me. "You talk big, pony princess, but you'll get nothing from any of us. It is not worth speaking. Ask of us what you will, but you're wasting your time."

I turned my head and stared at him for a few moments before walking over. I made sure he became aware of our significant height difference before speaking again.

"Indeed? I'm wasting my time with you?" The griffin gave me his best smirk and nodded, triggering a sigh from me. "Well, that is unfortunate. Truly terrible. I don't like having my time wasted, especially since this topic is so important."

Before the griffin could do anything else, I snatched the empty soda bottle off of the desk, grabbed the griffin in my magic to steady him, forced his head up so that he was looking at me dead in the eye, and began repeatedly smashing the bottle into his face as hard as I could, making sure to use my magic to harden the bottle so it wouldn't break. The griffins around him screamed in fear as my attacks splashed them in their fellow's blood, and I imagined that even my soldiers had to look away from what I was doing. Once I was content that I made the griffin's face unrecognizable enough, I powered down my horn, letting both the griffin and the bottle drop to the ground.

I blinked once and raised a foreleg to wipe the blood off of my face, my expression having not changed a single bit. I took a deep breath and looked around at the remaining five griffins, all of whom were leaning as far away from me as their restraints would allow. One of them had curled up on the ground and began sobbing. I took a deep breath and illuminated my horn once more, taking the spear away from one of my soldiers and raising it above the twitching, but clearly still living, griffin I had just attacked.

"Next time I won't be so merciful, got it?"

With that, I slammed the spear down.

"Please don't kill me!" the griffin to the right of the now dead griffin prisoner moaned.

"That's up to you," I said evenly, wiping off the spear and returning it to my soldier. "You see: you're raiders, and thus you don't fall under the POW section of the Iselin War Convention of 1124 between all of the world's nations. You don't have the rights afforded, say, a captured Griffonian soldier. What I just did was completely legal. Believe me: I checked to make sure. Attacking a princess carries the penalty of death. You did just that. Ergo, I carried out his inevitable execution early when I found out he'd be of no use to me. Are you following me so far, or do I need to put it in simpler terms?"

"I wanna go home!" another raider moaned.

"My good sir, I have hundreds, if not thousands, of grieving ponies who wish that their loved ones would come home, but because of scum like you, they can't. Now..." I began pacing back and forth again. "I think the best question to start with is: are any of you going to tell me that you're not going to talk?" I eyed the remaining griffins. "No? Good. Second question: who hired you? Any of you are free to answer any of these questions, by the way."

"I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die..." one of the griffins began muttering to himself. I gave an amused scoff and walked up to him.

"I'll bet, but that's not the answer to my question. If you didn't want to die then you shouldn't have attacked a goddess and her army, even if you had a Nightmare Weapon. What, did you think that the other two goddesses weren't going to figure out what was going on and wipe you out anyway? That's taking into account that getting me with that weapon was a slim shot at best. Sinosis could have easily been killed by an errant crossbow bolt before he ever got to me. Seems almost like a suicide mission if you ask..."

My eyes widened as the thought clicked in my mind. Suicide mission. Maybe these griffins didn't know it, but whoever hired them sure did. The actual odds of success were, in hindsight, so slim, that it took a lot of luck to be as successful as they were. Which implies another motive entirely other than killing me. I looked around at the remaining griffins.

"So, this was a suicide mission. Did any of you know that?" When none of them answered, I walked over to the bottle and nudged it, something that made all of them squeal.

"No! No, Princess Antares, we didn't!" one of them cried. "W-we were told that if we followed the plan right, we'd overwhelm your army and kill you before Celestia and Luna could come close to Baltimare!"

"And your employer was unaware of their powers, both in teleporting and combat?" I shook my head. "Not likely. All of Ponyville alone saw Celestia teleport there from Canterlot when her student cast some spell that went wrong. It's common knowledge that they can do long distance teleportation. Plus her and her sister raise the sun and moon. You think that it would be a surprise that they could lay waste to your army? No. You were set up." I walked to the middle of the line and looked down at the griffin on the left of the body. "The only question is by who?"

"I... I cannot say!" the griffin whimpered. He flinched back when he heard my horn fire up. "B-but I will say that our employer felt that killing you would prove that Equestria was weak! Ready to be attacked!"

"I see. But you cannot tell me who hired you?" The griffin shook his head, causing me to sigh. "Well, then, I guess you were never really all that attached to your tail anyway. Or your legs being not shattered. Makes no difference to me."

"No!" the griffin shrieked, trying to back up as much as he could. "I cannot tell because w-when we were hired, we were bound to secrecy by magic! I-if we tell you, we will instantly die in horrific ways!"

"Hmm." I tapped my jaw, then pointed at the remains of the griffin. "Like that? That kind of horrific?"

"Worse, to hear our employer talk," the griffin said, his head low. "No matter what you do to us, it is nothing compared to what we'd get if we told you."

I frowned and tilted my head. "But that..." A thought clicked in my head, and a smirk crossed my lips. "Ah. Ah, but by not saying, you have told me anyway without breaking your vow. There is only one that could bind you to such a curse." The griffin looked up, his eyes wide. I chuckled and waved my hoof. "Don't worry, you won't fall victim to its punishments. You didn't tell me, I figured it out on my own." I ignited my horn, causing the griffin to flinch back, but instead of snapping him in half like I'm sure he thought, his restraints fell away completely. He looked up at me, his eyes wide, causing me to chuckle. "You're free to go. Tell your employer that I'm coming. Let your employer know that I figured it out, and that it would be a good idea to start running now, because if I win the chase, that's it. Death. Just like that."

"Y-yes, Princess Antares," the griffin whispered.

"Good. If you run and don't send my message in person, I'll know, and dying in excruciating agony will be at the very bottom of the list of your problems, understand?"

The griffin nodded dumbly, and I turned and beckoned him to follow me. I opened the door and escorted him out of the room, where Celestia, Luna, and Warden Lockup waited for us. The eyes of all three widened, when they saw that both the griffin and I were splattered with blood, and the griffin was in a near comatose state at this point now that most of the fear had worn off, but they knew better than to question me.

"Warden Lockup, you can escort what's left of the rest of them to their cells. This one goes free for providing us with all of the information we could possibly want. He can have a shower before he leaves. Also..." I grimaced and uneasily rubbed the back of my neck. "Sorry about the mess in there. Things got a little... heated."

"I..." Warden Lockup blinked once. "Y-yes, of course, Princess Antares. Do not worry about it."

"Also, I will need to use your office to fill out some important documents, is that acceptable?"

"Of course. Do what you need. My facility is completely at your service."

"Good." I took a deep breath, pointedly ignoring eye contact with Celestia and Luna. I didn't want to look at them right now. I couldn't really handle seeing their expressions. "Well, I'll go to your office, then. I'll come out when I'm ready."

Before anyone could respond, I took off towards the office at a pace a little quicker than necessary, but I didn't really care about that. I heard my guards following me, but didn't acknowledge them in any way. Celestia and Luna would probably be coming after me soon enough as well.

I reached the office and threw the door open, walking inside and slamming it shut behind me before locking it and putting a sound spell around the room. Content that I had my privacy, I allowed my legs and lower lip to wobble as I began rapidly blinking back tears. I noticed a bottle sitting on Warden Lockup's desk, and I whimpered before collapsing on the ground, curling up into a fetal position and allowing myself to begin sobbing. It made me become acutely aware of the blood still on my face, chest, and forelegs.

Who was that in there?

I don't know how long I was in there crying, looking like the exact opposite of a regal, dignified Equestrian princess, but my wallowing was, predictably, interrupted when the door to the office swung open. Figured. It would be centuries, maybe millennium, before I ever pulled off a locking spell that could block Celestia. I heard her walk over and stand above me, and I could imagine the look on her face. Not that I wanted to.

"So..." I flinched at the emotionless tone of her voice. "This is the kind of princess you have chosen to be."

I flattened my ears and, despite every effort to the contrary, whimpered again, but managed to raise my head to look up at her. As I suspected, her face held no emotion at all, but I could sense the quiet disappointment in her.

"I..."

"Don't even bother, Antares." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Dont even bother. What's done is done, and you are the one who will have to live with it. Well, you and the other five griffins who saw you do it. And your three guards who have never seen their princess murder someone in cold blood like that. And the prison janitors who will have to clean the mess up. Oh, and Warden Lockup, who has no idea what to make of his princess and one of his prisoners coming out of that room, both covered in blood and one near catatonic. He'll have to remember that too."

I swallowed the bile that had begun building up in the back of my throat. "I just..."

"It is as I said, Antares: do not bother trying to explain yourself." Celestia illuminated her horn, and a wet washcloth appeared, which she used to begin wiping the blood and tears off of me. "What you have to understand is that very few of your actions affect just you anymore, and certainly none of your mistakes. Have I made similar mistakes over the course of my reign? Of course I have. I am likely to make more. Just today I made the mistake of allowing you in the room with them alone without thinking that you might seek revenge against them for killing your guards and subjects."

"I didn't think it would go so far," I muttered.

"No, you just didn't think it would hurt so much when it did, and you ignored the fact that there is a reason we do not torture here in Equestria." Celestia finished wiping me down and made the washcloth vanish. "But you are a princess of Equestria, Antares. You have made your mistake, but now millions of ponies are depending on you still. That is the way of things. Stand up and raise your head high like I know you can. Besides, despite your medieval methods, you know who attempted to kill you?"

I snorted and pushed myself onto my haunches. "I don't have the next clue beyond our current list of suspects." Celestia narrowed her eyes, and I raised a hoof to forestall any objections. "But, I let that griffin go for a reason. When I freed him, I put a tracking spell on him at the same time. I made him believe I'd know if he didn't go straight to his employer and tell him or her that I knew who he was and was coming for him. He proved to me to be superstitious. He'll do it." I raised my eyes to the ceiling. "He's flying west now. Slightly south-west. Just above cloud level."

"West? That would be away from Griffonia, but in the direction of the minotaurs, unless he had someone he was meeting. In a separate place."

"Possibly. But there's something else in that direction..."

"Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice, Ms. Skies."

Soaring Skies bowed low to me as I sat down in one of the Las Pegasopolan meeting rooms, before sitting down in a chair across from me. "Of course, Princess Antares. I always have time for royalty. Might I add that I am overjoyed that you have made a full recovery."

I inclined my head in a nod. "Yes, as am I. Now, then..." I cleared my throat and put a hoof on the cloud table. "I'd like to get to business right away. You see, my recent assassination attempt and the near decimation of my army has gotten me to thinking, Ms. Skies. Specifically about our meetings."

Soaring Skies raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What about?"

"Well, simply put: I found out that you were right. We are woefully under-prepared in the event of an attack. Were it not for the timely intervention of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, we might not be having this conversation, and my guard would certainly have suffered more casualties than it already did."

Soaring Skies nodded sympathetically. "Yes, and we all mourned when we heard of the losses."

"Thank you. It is good to have your support. Now, then..." I motioned to one of my guards, who gave me a suitcase which I put on the table in front of me and opened up. "It is my plan to drastically upgrade as many aspects of the Equestrian army as I can in the hopes that this does not happen again. With a potential war with the minotaurs and possibly griffins on the horizon, I cannot have a repeat of what happened at my palace."

Soaring Skies nodded. "Of course, Princess Antares. We will help you however we can."

"That is very good to hear, Ms. Skies. The names of your co-conspirators should be a good start."

Silence filled the room, and Soaring Skies blinked once in confusion. "Er... I'm sorry, Princess Antares, my what?"

"Co-conspirators. The ponies, or otherwise, who helped you try to assassinate me. Their names."

"I..." Soaring Skies went pale, and her mouth began flopping up and down. "P-Princess Antares, I'm afraid that you must be mistaken. Our intelligence reports that it was a force outside of Equestria that attempted to have you assassinated. If my knowledge is correct, the intelligence gathered by Princess Cadance and her Blade Wings says the same thing."

"Yes, I've heard that too," I said, illuminating my horn and taking a small red gem out of the briefcase. "But the Blade Wings aren't all looking around for Nightmare Weapons. Princess Cadance still has them stationed in key places in Equestria too." I put the gem down in front of Soaring Skies. "So that's how I was able to get this when I released one of the griffin leaders with a tracking spell on him."

I poured a little magic into the gem, and immediately voices begin resonating out of it. Familiar voices. Ones that Soaring Skies instantly recognized as both hers and the griffin I had let go.

Are you crazy?! Approaching me like this out of the blue is too dangerous! Why did you track me down at all? What if you were followed?

It doesn't matter! Princess Antares already knows who you are!

If any one of the princesses knew who I was, I'd already be arrested or worse. You need to calm down and go into hiding. Do you really think that she can do anything worse to you than the secrecy spell you've been put under? I assure you that she can't. Just get out of here! She was bluffing, and if she was bluffing about that, then she was bluffing about knowing who I am, so just leave me alone!

The recording ended, and I let Soaring Skies stew as she stared in horror at the gem. After a few seconds, I put the gem back in the briefcase and snapped it shut before hoofing it back to my guard.

"So, I think that you can guess that you are so under arrest right now that it isn't even funny. I mean, did you really think that you'd get away with it, even with lying to them with the whole fake ‘secrecy spell’ nonsense?"

Soaring Skies' eye twitched, but she managed to regain her senses once she felt a band of magic wrap around her wings, pinning them to her sides, and hoofcuffs being secured to her forelegs. She squealed and tried to bolt, but, secured as she was, she fell flat on her face. I sighed and stood up from my chair to stand over her.

"You helped cause the deaths of hundreds of my subjects, your fellow ponies, and for what? To get control of the military? To prove a point? Don't expect much more life, Ms. Skies. What little more you have will be spent behind bars, I assure you."

"I was only doing it for Equestria, I swear, Princess Antares!" Soaring Skies wailed as my guards dragged her away. "I never intended your death!"

"No, but you intended the deaths of my soldiers." I sighed and turned my head to Lieutenant Rapids. "Lieutenant Rapids, if you would please gag Ms. Skies so she doesn't accidentally say something that will make me lose my temper and snap her in half in a way that won't kill her? Thank you."

Lieutenant Rapids nodded and fixed a muzzle over Soaring Skies' face. My guards dragged her out of the room to a waiting prisoner wagon that would no doubt be used again later. I took a deep breath as silence filled the room and glanced over to my remaining guard. I gave her a weary smile.

"Well, Celestia, I guess we got 'em."

Author's Notes:

Like my stories? Donate here and help me get married! You can get cool perks for your money like plushies of our very own Princess Antares!

Also, I have a new story out if you're interested. If for no other reason than for something a little more lighthearted to balance out all of the stuff in this chapter.

Stop That Derpy!

Council

I trotted through the corridors of what passed for a "grand" building in the minotaur city, wishing that this meeting was already over. In truth, I had problems of my own to contend with. Byck and Zangara were growing restless with talks of war, and there were even whispers that the elections for the new Duke Fromme might be finalizing, despite my efforts to stall them as long as I could. I hoped the new one was as weak as possible. It would be nice to have a puppet duke under my control to help keep the other two in check. My stunt with Antares bought me some more control, but not nearly enough. I needed more if Kathyrine was going to have a secure position after my passing.

I reached the doorway at the end of the hall guarded by six heavily armored minotaurs, who tensed up when they saw me stop in front of them. I quietly scoffed and rolled my eyes. It's not like I of all griffins was going to assassinate Purgle here in Schunie. That would be massively counter-productive.

"I'm here for my scheduled meeting with King Purgle," I said, looking down at them to the best of my abilities, given the height difference. "Stand aside, if you please."

The minotaurs exchanged glances, but one of them ultimately nodded and opened the door for me and my four bodyguards to enter the throne room.

Purgle sat smugly on his throne, as per usual. I didn't expect him to stand up and greet me. He had no respect for visiting dignitaries, and I foresaw it getting him in a lot of trouble someday. The minotaur had strength and charisma, there was no doubt about that, but could he play the political game? Not a chance. Subtlety was not his strong suit, and he refused to listen to anyone who did have talents in that regard.

I stopped in front of the throne and inclined my head in a small bow. "King Purgle. I am pleased to see you again." I nodded to the minotaur standing at his right. "And the same applies to you, High General Bludworth. We have much to discuss."

"Yes, we do," Purgle agreed, leaning back on his throne. I inwardly scoffed. No poise at all. "The Equestrians are in a period of unrest, something I find interesting. You've heard, I have no doubt, that it was some Las Pegasopolan businessponies who orchestrated her assassination?"

I grunted and nodded. "Of course. I doubt there's a single being on the planet who hasn't heard that. It's been in every newspaper I've seen for the past two weeks."

"Funny, though, how they used griffin raiders who were incarcerated in your prisons, Aepnet. I have always found that curious." Purgle raised an eyebrow. "You wanted Antares gone for throwing you in one of her prisons?"

"I see no reasons to do things like that; my pride is not so easily bruised," I said with a scowl. "I cannot control everything that goes on in my country. I did not think the raiders would be a problem, and I underestimated the power and numbers of some of the Equestrian spies in my country. I assure you we have found and executed many of them."

"Or you went on a changeling hunt," Purgle said with a shrug. "Dangerous, given Antares' mood, don't you think? Word on the street is that not even Celestia and Luna can control her thirst for vengeance. I pity what would happen to you if she found out that you executed innocent ponies and you didn't have me supporting you when she called for war. She may do that soon if she feels threatened enough. Even with three alpha alicorns ruling Equestria, you need more than that to win a battle, and their military is severely weakened, particularly with their main weapons supplier down. Antares knows this, so she will begin building up her military like mad." A fire flared up in Purgle's eyes, one that I didn't really care for. "This is the perfect time to strike! We have every justification to feel threatened now!"

"No, it isn't," I growled. "You heard what Celestia and Luna did to Sinosis' army once they reached the battlefield. The battle was over in minutes. Any invading army would need ranged Nightmare Weapons to have a chance, and Cadance's Blade Wings have found and destroyed three since the assassination attempt, even with anyone who has one going underground. Some beings are straight-up surrendering anything that even looks like it could be a Nightmare Weapon. That's how they found one of them."

"The pony princess cannot be everywhere at once!" Purgle pointed out. He made a slight hand motion, and Bludworth set out a small table and a map of Equestria. He pointed to Manehattan and Vanhoover. "I attack Vanhoover and you attack Manehattan. The Equestrian army is stretched too thin to defend both fronts at once, even if they called for reinforcements from the Crystal Empire, whose military is a complete joke."

"And what of Mesud and the Saddle Arabian army?" I snarled. "It would be weeks, if that, before I'd be the one fighting a two front war! This is ignoring the fact that Antares might begin creating some of her human weapons!" I sorted and shook my head. "Your best bet at invading Equestria was hoping that Antares died from her wounds and provoking Celestia and Luna then. She didn't, and now she's stronger and more paranoid than ever. Celestia likely told Antares not to create her weapons, but now that Celestia does not hold Antares' leash anymore, I have my doubts that Antares will not begin production the second she sniffs an invasion, despite Celestia's wishes." I closed my eyes and sighed. "No, King Purgle. I will do all I can to support minotaur unification with you as king, but invading Equestria would bring nothing."

"Except Celestia, Luna, and Antares to their knees! Can you not see that, Aepnet?" Purgle growled. “It matters not how strong they are if their cities burn. If we take Vanhoover and Manehattan, we can take the Unicorn Range and Fillydelphia. If we take them, we can take Baltimare and Ponyville. From there it's a short trip to taking Canterlot. Once Canterlot falls, the rest of Equestria falls as well." Purgle snorted. "Not that Celestia will let it get that far. Seeing Vanhoover, Manehattan and Fillydelphia destroyed will cause her to sue for peace."

"No, it will not!" I screeched. "It will cause her to allow Antares to create her weapons, and she will call upon Mesud to sack Iselin, which you and I both know full well he can easily do if I am fighting a two front war! Make no mistake, Purgle, if Griffonia is invaded, I will pull every last one of my soldiers out of Equestria, leaving you alone to get the princesses to surrender. Besides that, I have my doubts that Equestria can even be invaded successfully at all! Vanhoover? Manehattan? They’re tourist cities with absolutely no military importance whatsoever. Canterlot, the city of most importance, is smack dab in the middle of the country, right next to Ponyville, the other tactically important place because the Elements of Harmony live there and the Everfree Forest is on its doorstep. How are you going to get there without suffering massive casualties, and how would you hold those cities?

“I think that you are also forgetting Cloudsdale. Half of Las Pegasus is a den for whorses, drunkards, and gamblers, and the other half’s allegiance is suspect, but can you tell me your plan to attack a cloud city? I know I can’t help you. I’m fighting Antares in the east, remember? I can’t spare the troops, particularly when I know that Mesud will charge my borders any day. The Equestrian air force would decimate you before you even saw the spirals of Celestia’s castle, or the trees of the Everfree Forest."

"We'll call upon the Diamond Dogs, then,” Purgle said, slamming his hand on the armrest of his throne. “Equestria is full of riches, and there are hundreds of small colonies already inside of Equestria. We could use them as a saboteur and espionage force, on top of a military one."

I rolled my eyes at that. "The Diamond Dog kings are even less united than you are. Your culture is a military one, so I fail to see why you'd ally yourself with groups prone to more infighting than newborn chicks begging to be fed first." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're warmongering. You're so desperate to prove your right to the minotaur throne that you're going to use any excuse that you can to go to war with Equestria, a nation whom I know has no desire to go to war with you. If you attack Vanhoover, you will lose within weeks. You may sack the city, but I assure you that the next one to fall will be Schunie. Then what will your crown mean? Given Antares' current temperament, I'm sure your crown would look very nice on your head when it's impaled on a spike outside of your burning city."

"Indeed? Because from what I've heard, Antares has calmed down considerably. We haven't seen the Las Pegasopolan conspirators drawn and quartered in public yet, have we? The arrest wasn't even violent. Antares was completely calm. Much more like her usual self."

"That's because they're her ponies, not foreigners gearing for war!" I snapped. "I shudder to think of what she'd do to you, to me, if she went to war with us."

"Her army is weakened!" Purgle said with a scoff. "And it was not raised in the crucible of battle as my soldiers were. A head-to-head battle between my army and theirs would result in a resounding victory for me."

"As if Antares or Celestia would let it get to that point. They know that pound-for-pound your army is stronger. They have better tactical sense than that."

"But Antares is young yet, and she is the one that I place my chips on being the most dominant of the three." Purgle snorted and crossed his arms. "I'll bet she's even mounting one or both of the other ones."

"Don't be silly. That's tabloid rumor and you shouldn't put stake in it. Antares might have a fiery temper when provoked, but all of my sources say that she has mellowed considerably now that she has found her attackers. Don’t provoke her. Invading Equestria would be a terrible idea and you know it!" I sighed and ran a claw through my head feathers. "Now look, in the event that Equestria invades your country I will, of course, come to your aid as I promised. Mesud would have no justifiable reason to attack me for honoring a treaty when Equestria themselves were the aggressors, and if nothing else I could probably hold off him invading long enough to make a difference. But I will not aid and abet warmongering, particularly against Equestria when Antares is such a big question mark. I have my own subjects to think about, not to mention a daughter who is nowhere near ready to take the throne in the event of my death."

“We could try more assassinations. Cadance, Shining Armor, the Elements. Cadance is mortal, after all”

“Only if you want Celestia and Luna to become angrier than even Antares is capable of coming. Believe me, Cadance and the Elements of Harmony are untouchable if you want to handle this with some modicum of strategy.” I shook my head. “Which you clearly are not. You haven’t truly thought this through in the slightest. You’re provoking war with Equestria, and for what? To prove that you’re the rightful king?”

“No, to prove to my new nation that we have nothing to fear from them, and to prove to Celestia, Luna, and Antares that their aggression will not be tolerated.”

I clicked my tongue. “If that’s how you want to justify it to yourself, then I suppose I cannot stop you. As for me, though, I’m not going to be on the wrong side of a slaughter.”

Purgle's face hardened into a glare, and I could see him tighten his grip on his spear. "So you're backing out of our treaty? You're not going to war with Equestria with me if I go?"

"I didn't say that," I said, shaking my head. "I'm saying that I have my own country to think about, and you had better have a very good reason for provoking the pony princesses. I'm not leading my soldiers into a massacre, and you shouldn't either."

"You are a coward, Aepnet. There is honor in dying in battle to protect your country, the likes of which you cannot understand."

"And you are a madman, Purgle. There are benefits to surviving that I can see you cannot understand. I like to think myself a pragmatist sometimes. Invading Equestria at this stage with no Nightmare Weapons and Mesud on my eastern border would be the worst thing for the both of us."

"So that's it, then. I think you've made your position clear."

I gave him a single nod. "I suppose so. Equestria is in shambles, but a weakened Equestria is still very strong, particularly with the wild card that is Antares."

"Very well." Purgle pointed to the door with his spear. "Then get out. If you wish to go to war at my side when Equestria does something worthy of it, I'll hold you to it."

"If they do, then I'll go to war with you, but I doubt it."

With that, I turned around and walked out of the room, wondering just how I'd gotten involved with this madman in the first place, and what it might cost me if he took it too far.

Author's Notes:

Once again, you can donate to my marriage fund for some cool stuff!

A Big Change

We got 'em. We figured out who was behind the plot to kill me and my soldiers. Now, just because we managed to capture Soaring Skies, who would undoubtedly lead us to others, did that mean that it ended with her? Was Las Pegasus the one behind it all? Not necessarily, but I intended to find out, of course. Now that Soaring Skies knew that she had been caught, she wouldn't hold out for very long. I'd get all of the information that I'd need in short order.

But honestly, I didn't really care about that, right then. I mean, I knew that I should have. I had all of the answers sitting in a prison cell right next door, but I was honestly... tired of the whole thing already. What's worse is that I didn't know if I was almost done with the whole conspiracy to murder me thing, or if finding Soaring Skies meant that I was just getting started.

I prayed to whoever that it was the former.

I needed to wind down after everything that happened the other day, and I knew just the way to do that. I walked down to the medical wing of my palace. I had a pony that I needed to visit some time ago.

I entered the medical wing, and the head nurse bowed when she saw me. I smiled and inclined my head to her. "Good afternoon. Can you direct me to Tulip?"

"Of course, your majesty." She pointed to the right. "The bed at the very end of the hallway."

"Thank you," I said with a nod. "How is she doing? I wasn't even aware she was pregnant."

"Well you were kind of out of commission there for a while, Princess Antares." The head nurse hesitated for a moment. "We figured that you had bigger things on your mind than a simple pregnancy. Tulip is perfectly healthy, as is the foal, so far as we can see. We're going to do an ultrasound in a few weeks, so we'll know more about the race, health and gender then."

"Unicorn, if I had to guess," I said with a shrug. "Both of the parents are."

"True, but that's not necessarily an indication of the race." She returned my shrug. "At any rate, go see Ms. Tulip, Princess Antares. I'll be attending to some other patients if you need me."

I thanked her and walked to the end of the room, where Tulip was resting on her side with a book in her magical aura. She looked up when she saw me approach, and her eyes widened. She made to get up, presumably to bow, but I held up a hoof to forestall that idea.

"No, no, Tulip, you can stay in bed. You need to get your rest, okay?"

"Yes, Princess Antares." Tulip closed her book and put it on her bedside table. I pulled up a chair and sat down next to her bed.

"So, I suppose congratulations are in order." My gaze flickered down to her belly, which had begun to bulge out slightly. "A foal is no small thing, and I fully approve of your mate as well."

Tulip blushed and flattened her ears. "You flatter me. But yes..." Tulip put a hoof on her stomach and gave a fond smile. "I have to say that I didn't quite expect this, but I couldn't have been happier to hear the news. I mean, of course I was shocked at first. I thought I wasn't feeling well because of everything that was going on, but after the fourth day of vomiting in the morning, Valiant told me that maybe I should go to the infirmary. I got a pregnancy scan and, well..."

I nodded. "I was doing a lot better by then, of course. This would be, what, about a week or so ago?"

Tulip returned my nod. "Yeah, I think so. Given everything that's been happening lately, the doctors have told me to take it easy for a little while until they can run every test they need to to ensure that my foal is healthy, and to make sure my stress levels don't get too high. It could be bad for her."

"Her?" A slight smirk crossed my face. "You guessing or wishing?"

Tulip chuckled and nuzzled into her plush pillow. "A little of both. I'd like to have a little filly running around, helping me out with some of my duties to you. Valiant wants a colt, of course. Second generation guard, and all that."

"Well, no reason a filly can't grow up to be a second generation guard either." I stuck out my tongue. "But talking about second generations of my guard makes me feel old."

Tulip giggled and waved a hoof at me. "Come on, you're not going to get old."

"I'm not going to grow old. But a ten thousand year old pony is darned old." I let out a half amused scoff. "And the irony of all of this is that, being an alicorn, I look old anyway. Everypony knows that Celestia and Luna are thousands of years old, so if somepony saw me and didn't know better, they'd assume that I was too because I look and act so much like them. Some future generations who weren't there to see me coronated might even assume that I had a hoof in the creation of the world, or something." I raised a hoof and examined it. "But I'm only twenty four. You're a year or so older than I am, Tulip."

Tulip exhaled through her teeth and slowly shook her head. "I don't want to think about that. I can't possibly be."

"Exactly." I gave a little shrug with my wings. "This job is like the Earth presidency. You don't have to be doing it for very long before you start feeling old."

Tulip gave me a slightly confused look, so I smirked at her and waved my hoof. "Don't worry about it. A little joke for me. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. I'll be checking up on you, and I hope you can come back to work soon, alright?"

"Me too." Tulip groaned and draped a foreleg over her eyes. "My youngest brother was born only a few years ago, so I remember when my mom got pregnant with him. She looked like a bloated hippopotamus. I guess I'm gonna start looking like that too, huh?"

"It comes with the foal, I'm afraid, but I can't imagine it's not worth it when you see him or her for the first time," I said, standing up. "Are you and Valiant talking about getting married?"

Tulip nodded. "I'd say it's almost definitely happening, Princess Antares. We love each other, and we want our foal to have both of her parents growing up."

"Good, then I wish you both well. I'm excited to see where that takes the both of you."

With that, I said my goodbyes and left the infirmary, my mood significantly improved with the promise of a new life coming to my palace to counteract all of the death that had plagued us in these past months.

I wanted no stress for my first day back to normal duties such as day court. I kind of wanted to ease back into everything, especially given what happened with the interro...

...

I did my best to push thoughts of that aside. Not to forget it completely and ignore it, of course, but I couldn't let it consume me. I couldn't let anything completely take me over. That was too dangerous. No matter how many times I learned that alicorns have more extreme emotions and that I need to keep mine in check, I felt like I needed to learn that lesson every day.

Didn't I?

I pushed those thoughts out of my head and spent the day focusing on a fairly restrained day court. I supposed that the nobles realized that, having just survived what I did and this being my first day back, now was not the time for petty squabbles and useless arguing. I mean, I repeatedly informed them in as many ways as I possibly could, both snarcastic and not, that there was never a time for petty squabbling, but it took me being shot for them to get that.

Eh, it bought me a week of quiet at most.

Once I ended day court, I only had about fifteen seconds of looking forward to a nice, peaceful dinner. I had only stood up from my throne when the door opened once more, and one of my soldiers came in. I smiled at him and stepped onto the floor.

"How can I hep you?"

"Princess Antares." The stallion bowed low. "You have a visitor."

"Yes, that does tend to come with being a princess," I said with a sigh. "But day court has adjourned, and I do need to eat dinner just like the average pony. You can tell this pony that she may come back tomorrow for court, or set an appointment with Time Keeper."

"Er..." My guard glanced up at me. "She's not a pony. And we were just as surprised by her arrival as you will undoubtedly be. She's... a griffin. Princess Kathyrine has arrived to speak with you."

My small smirk fell instantly, and I nudged the guard to a standing position. "Take me to her at once. Make sure that she is well guarded while she is in my palace. I cannot have her with even a scratch on while she's here, understood?"

"Yes, Princess Antares."

"Good. Have her meet me in my usual meeting room. I want Lieutenant Rapids to hoof pick two of her best soldiers to stand guard outside."

"As you wish."

The guard trotted off, leaving me to teleport straight to the meeting room. Princess Kathyrine here? If Aepnet's daughter had come to my palace without any warning, then something was seriously off. I briefly considered sending a letter to Celestia and Luna telling them about this, but that might be counter-productive. If I knew Kathyrine, she wanted to be anywhere but here right now, and all three princesses talking to her would be too much.

I heard a knock on the door just as I pulled out a chair for Kathyrine. I walked over to the door and opened it to see Private Valiant standing next to a cloaked and hooded griffin. Private Valiant had a large briefcase floating in his magical grasp.

"She had this with her when she came in. You're gonna want to see this."

"That's why I brought it, you dolt," Kathyrine growled. "Now can you leave us alone? You already frisked me, and you got the briefcase, so you don't need to worry about me doing anything stupid, okay?" Kathyrine scoffed. "I'm here to stop a war, stickhead, not start one."

"Hey, cut down on that language, please," I snapped. I nodded at Private Valiant and took the briefcase from him. "Thank you. That will be all. I'll let you know when we're done."

But this might take a while.

I led Kathyrine into the room and motioned over to the chair I pulled out for her. She gave a grunt of thanks and sat down on it as I pulled out a chair of my own across from her. I set the briefcase down on the table and took a seat.

"So, what's this all about? Why the secrecy? You don't even look like you have a guard with you."

"Because I don't," Kathyrine growled, pulling her hood down. "I'm taking a huge bucking risk coming to talk to you, Antares, so you'd better not get me killed."

"I'm not going to get you killed, Kathyrine. You're safe here." I looked down at the briefcase and put a hoof on it. "So is this why you're here?"

"No, that's all my doing. I'm here on my dad's orders. He'd come himself, but that's too risky. Purgle doesn't care about me. I'm relatively invisible to him." Kathyrine scoffed and leaned back in her seat. "An oversight, but he never was the smartest of minotaurs."

"So your dad sent you." The back of my mind told me that staying in this room with her alone was a terrible idea. That she might be here to do something awful and I should just arrest her and let Aepnet and Celestia sort it out, but... I couldn't. She wasn't strong enough to hurt me, and my troops would know if more griffins were coming into the city.

"Yeah. He just got back from a meeting with Purgle. A rather nasty one." Kathyrine crossed her forelegs and grimaced as though she swallowed something particularly unpleasant. "He asked me to talk to you so that when Purgle finds his excuse to invade Equestria, you're not caught completely off guard and we get to be left out of it. We..." Kathyrine began blinking rapidly and balled her talons into a fist. "My stupid dad made a treaty with the minotaurs saying that if they went to war with you, we'd jump right on in with them. He didn't tell me to tell you that, but I'm saying it so that when we go to war and my dad feels like he has to honor his agreement, you know that he doesn't want to do it. If you guys win, don't, like, execute him, okay?"

I stayed silent, chewing over this new information. If what Kathyrine was saying was true, then Aepnet definitely didn't want war. But if we talked to him about him backing out of the treaty he made, then Purgle might get pissed and invade Griffonia, which was a far easier target than Equestria. Griffonia didn't have alliances with Saddle Arabia. Griffonia doesn't have alicorns ruling it. Griffonia has Aepnet and two, soon to be three, bickering dukes. I mean yeah, Purgle's army would have to go around Equestria to the south through Diamond Dog lands to get there, but Purgle would have almost no trouble picking up some allies along the way. As for Equestria? Well, the nobles wouldn't want war, saying that as long as it didn't affect us, then we shouldn't send our mares and stallions to die for the griffins, especially since it was griffins that just attacked us. It would take so long to make a decision that might be "no" anyway, that Purgle could lay waste to Griffonia easily, even with Aepnet's air superiority.

Then again, if we didn't talk to Aepnet about backing out, then when Purgle invaded us, he'd feel he had no choice but to jump right in, if what Kathyrine was telling me was true. Then Saddle Arabia gets involved as we're fighting a two front war with a sub-par military and...

Ugh. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

After a solid minute, I closed my eyes and slowly exhaled. "So what do you want me to do? What does your father want me to do? You know how mad Purgle would get if he didn't go to war with him."

"Yeah, we do," Kathyrine muttered. "This is us quietly letting you know that we think Purgle is just as crazy as you think he is, but we can't back down. You know how much our culture values loyalty. Breaking this treaty would be the height of dishonesty for dad, and with three dukes watching every move he makes..."

"So he's let hundreds, maybe thousands, of his soldiers die for his pride?"

Kathyrine glared at me, and her mouth twisted into a slight snarl. "Don't you dare judge him, Antares! You have no idea how griffin monarchs are raised! You'd believe that too if from the very moment you heard what loyalty meant that it was the most important thing ever! Loyalty to your country, loyalty to your clan, loyalty to your word, loyalty to your family..." Kathyrine rolled her eyes. "You practically get that stupid word etched into your egg, especially if you're an emperor or empress."

"Alright, I understand," I said gently, raising a placating hoof, "but that still leaves the question of what you want me to do about it. If you had to meet me here in secret, your father is obviously worried about us talking to him. If Purgle finds out, then that could be bad."

"Would your country go to war for mine?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry to say this, and I can't say for sure, but I really rather doubt it. We'd be more than happy to be mediators, but reinforcements would be an unpopular idea, especially after..." I hesitated for a moment. "You know."

"Yeah," Kathyrine grumbled. "Stupid little wannabe big-shot punk. If you didn't beat him to death, someone else would have." I flinched back slightly at that, but Kathyrine didn't notice. "Just... we want you to help however you can, alright? You can't talk sense into Purgle, no one can, but... I dunno, threaten to drop the sun on him, say you'll firebomb Schunie if he crosses into Diamond Dog territory. Something!"

"Giving him the excuse he wants to go to war, which your father will join in with." I sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry, Kathyrine, but I can't give you a definite answer right now. I can say that the three of us will speak about this in great detail. This is something we can't ignore, obviously."

"Yeah."

I took a deep breath and looked down at the briefcase. "Now, this. A gift from your father?"

Kathyrine flinched back and lowered her head slightly. "N-no. He doesn't know I have it. That was all me. I just... I wanted to let you know what he was up to and what he could be doing, but just so you know how to counter it peacefully!" She said that last part quickly.

I gave her a slight nod and undid the latches of the briefcase. With a single burst of my magic I opened it up revealing...

I flinched back and shot to my hooves, pushing the briefcase to the opposite end of the table from us. I felt a slight ache in my chest, right where I had been shot. I snapped my hoof out towards the briefcase.

"Where did you get that?!"

"I have some friends in Dad's armory. Friends who know that I'm next in line for the throne and wanna play nice to the new monarch early. They let me in and I took it." Kathyrine lowered her head even more until she stared at the ground. "If you want me to be more specific, all those rumors of Dad having Nightmare Weapons are true. He has four just like that. Also... Cadance isn't the only one who's been scouring the planet for Nightmare Weapons. Dad and Purgle have been too. I know Purgle has at least two."

It took every single ounce of my practiced alicorn stoicism to not begin hyperventilating then and there. I internally let loose every single swear word, both Earth and Equestrian, that I could think of multiple times as I stared at the pitch black short sword hidden inside the briefcase. Aepnet had four more, and Purgle had at least two?

I took a few deep breaths to steady myself as I thought of a response. It wasn't really working, but it helped at least center me to pretend for Kathyrine's sake.

"Okay," I began after a few moments. "Th-thank you for telling me this. Is there anything else you'd like to share?"

"Not really," Kathyrine muttered. "Just don't hurt Dad, okay? He didn't know what he was getting into when he signed with Purgle, alright? He didn't know he was as nuts as he is. He thought he was protecting himself against you and helping the minotaurs unite at the same time."

"Uh-huh." I blinked once and used my magic to shut and lock the briefcase. Even touching the briefcase from across the room felt dirty. "So I guess we'll be in touch, then." I turned my head to look at her. "Which brings up an interesting question: why is it okay for you to come? Why are you supposedly 'invisible' to Purgle?"

"Well, minotaurs are a male dominated society, especially Purgle's clan." Kathyrine shrugged and stood up from her seat. "From the moment he met me Purgle treated me like I was beneath him because I wasn't a dude. Not overtly, but it was still kinda obvious. It doesn't really matter what I do."

"I see." I took the briefcase in my magic and held it far away from me, but close enough that I could carry it around. "Well, if there's nothing else, I will speak to you later. If you wish to stay for the night or would like to have dinner before you go, please feel free to tell one of my guards, who will assist you. Good day."

Before Kathyrine could say anything else, I threw the doors open and trotted out of the room right past my guard. I heard Lieutenant Rapids say something to me, but I didn't bother to listen. No time for whatever. If it was really important, she'd tell me later.

I turned down an empty hallway and, seeing my chance, teleported straight into a completely empty room that I used sometimes for assemblies of my staff. I shut and locked the doors with the most powerful shield spell I could pull off, threw a sound spell over the room, then proceeded to throw the briefcase against the opposite wall with an ear-splitting shriek.

The briefcase hit the wall, but did not break open. I whimpered and backed as far away from it as I could go, flinching at every step as a little prick of pain coursed through my chest wound. I undid the strap of my breastplate, letting it fall to the floor as I hit the back wall. I slid to the floor and began massaging the spot where the Nightmare Arrow had hit.

"Please no," I whimpered as the first tears streaked down my face. "I don't want anymore!" I let out a sob and held out a hoof as if the briefcase would lunge and attack me. "Just make them go away!" I cried to no one in particular. Or everyone. "M-make them go away!"

I closed my eyes and images began flashing in my head. Images of looking down and seeing the arrow sticking out of my chest. Images of my blood. My blood. Images of Sinosis wearing my tiara and reclining on my throne as I bled out before him. I violently flinched as the image of him loading another arrow into the crossbow played in my mind.

"Just stop!" I moaned, curling into a ball and massaging my chest with such force that I was starting to damage some of the fur. "Please stop killing them! D-don't hurt me anymore!"

It wasn't very "regal" of me, but that's why the sound spell was there and the door was locked. I cried until I couldn't anymore.

I don't even know how long I was there, but I think I might have fallen asleep on the floor. I opened my eyes and raised my head, looking over at the fallen briefcase. It had left a dent in the wall where I threw it, but that could be easily fixed. I shuddered and tore my gaze away from it. That would have to be dealt with sooner rather than later, and I didn't look forward to telling Luna that both Aepnet and Purgle had Nightmare Weapons.

I exhaled deeply and wiped my eyes with the back of my hoof. My staff and guards would certainly be looking for me. I wasn't the type of pony who could randomly disappear for a little while. Even in my moments of complete solitude, pretty much everypony in my palace had to know where I was.

I groaned and levitated my breastplate back over to me, glad that it covered where I had been rubbing when I put it back on. I cast a quick fur clearing spell over myself before picking the briefcase up and getting to my hooves. I could guess that I didn't look perfect, but good enough. I straightened my tiara and powered down the spells I had over the room before opening the doors and walking back out into the hallway.

To my slight surprise, I saw Lieutenant Rapids and Private Valiant both standing at attention next to the door. I raised an eyebrow and closed the door behind me. "How did you know that I was in there?"

"It was too quiet, Princess Antares," Rapids responded. "I figured it had to be a sound spell."

"Well you were right." I began walking towards my throne room, and the two quickly followed. "This whole situation just got a whole lot more severe. I need one of you to contact Princess Celestia and Princess Luna right away. Did Princess Kathyrine leave?"

Lieutenant Rapids nodded. "Yes, Princess Antares. I let Princess Cadance know she was in Equestria. She has a Blade Wing following her to make sure she's safe."

"Good. For now we need to figure out a way to stop Purgle, or at least slow him down a little bit."

"How do we do that?" Private Valiant asked.

I paused for a moment as something Kathyrine said made it into my mind. In my rush to get out of the room with the weapon, I hadn't fully registered it. But now that I needed to begin making plans... Oh, Kathyrine had no idea how much she was going to change by saying that.

"It's simple: we do something that I should have begun researching a long time ago: we turn me into a male again."

I turned the Nightmare Weapon over to Celestia and Luna, who were equally disturbed by the idea that Purgle and Aepnet were both gathering Nightmare Weapons. Luna didn't say much during that meeting once she saw what I had brought, but her emotions were clear. This hurt. Having said that, between the one I brought, the four that Aepnet had, the three that Cadance had destroyed, the two that Purgle had, the one that Sinosis shot me with, and the ones that Celestia had destroyed in her purge after the war with Nightmare Moon, Luna estimated that there were two, maybe three Nightmare Weapons that weren't accounted for at most. It was just a matter of who got to them first.

The idea that Kathyrine seemed to be acting slightly independent of her father interested us as well. She gave us a Nightmare Weapon and told us where to find six more. Aepnet wouldn't have wanted her to do that. We agreed to keep an eye on how that developed.

But once that was over... it was hitting the books on how to turn Princess Antares into Prince Antares. The idea that Purgle's entire attitude would change around me if I turned myself back into a male was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Heck, being a dude again was too big an opportunity to pass up. There just... always seemed to be another reason I had to put off the research on it. There was always something more important to focus on. As a servant of Equestria first and foremost, if I needed to decide between researching a gender-swap spell and figuring out how to feed homeless foals... well, it's not even a contest. After a while, I just kind of got used to being female and it got less and less important. But now! Oh now I was going to become the very first alicorn prince.

The very first thing that I did was... er... I began research into that sex spell that Celestia used on me our first night together. She'd used it many times since, but now I began researching it for science!

Any other time that would be just an excuse. A lame one, at that.

My initial avenues of research went into combining that spell with other spells; something to make it more stable and permanent. I didn't want to have this only work for a month then have it wear off again. I couldn't wear a "man suit," so to speak. I had to be an actual dude.

That... sounded a lot less creepy and off-putting in my head.

My guards were sworn to secrecy on the whole thing. If it didn't work in time, I didn't want word to get out that I was doing this. Not until I had a definite answer. I could see the headlines otherwise. Princess Antares Attempts Gender Change: What Mad Experiments is She/He Doing in His/Her Palace? Or Princess Antares Attempts to Switch Gender: Fails in Every Way Possible. I could just imagine Aepnet and Purgle reading that one.

Still, even if it worked, this would need to be handled delicately. I had been a princess for about three years now, and my entire cultural setting was deeply tied to that. I mean, yeah, it was common knowledge that I had once been a human male, so ponies would at least see the rationale behind this, which had major benefits and would make the transition smoother.

Oy. Even so I knew things were going to be rocky for a while if I pulled it off.

The days turned into weeks, as the cliche goes, and every free moment was spent on changing my gender back to normal. After three weeks I finally hit a breakthrough. I managed to combine the gender spell with one that "calms the stallion down" so to speak, and made it so that it lasted quite a while. I spent an entire day as, according to my scans and experiments, a 100% regular, healthy, normal stallion. Er, except for the alicorn part. I just couldn't make it permanent, no matter how much magic I poured into the new spell I had created. I could make its effects last longer, but that would eventually become draining.

After another few days of research, I realized that it would take something really powerful to make the spell completely permanent. Something with a history of completely changing genders...

"Thank you for coming today, ladies. I know you're all busy, and I respect that, so I won't keep you for longer than is necessary."

I looked around my throne room at the six mares whom I had brought in to help me with my little issue. Each of them was wearing their Element of Harmony, furiously blushing, and doing their best to avoid eye contact with me. I let out a small sigh and rubbed one of my temples.

"Now girls, each and every one of us is a mature, intelligent mare. We can be mature and intelligent about the fact that we're about to change me back into a dude using the... uh..." I sighed and snatched the Element of Magic off of Twilight's head to begin tuning it to my spell. "Yeah, I know, this is awkward as all else. Let's just get this over with. Just trust me when I say that this is a matter of national security."

"N-national security?" Rarity whispered. "Oh, I suppose that's comforting."

"I'm trying to avoid the most destructive war in the history of this planet, Rarity." I placed the tiara back on Twilight's head. "So yeah, it should be. And I'll thank you to remember that I was born male, and was male for twenty one years of my life. This whole female thing is a relatively new development, if you'll recall."

"I know, TD," Twilight muttered, adjusting her crown on her head. "It's just... well, if you want to talk percentages, you've been 'Princess Antares' to us for about three times longer than you were 'TD' to us, you know? So I've actually known you as a girl for a lot longer than as a guy."

My ear flicked, but I ignored the comment. "Right, so, in the interest of respecting your time and figuring this out as soon as possible, we should get started."

Twilight sighed and nodded to her friends. "Okay, girls..." Her ear twitched at the word. "Let's get this over with. You all ready?"

"I know I am," I pointed out.

"I know, TD," Twilight muttered as the Mane Six all got into a line in front of me. "Alright, here goes nothing."

Twilight ignited her horn.

I made it to Canterlot a few hours later, just as the hustle and bustle of the castle was winding down. I knew that Celestia and Luna would both be having dinner together, so I wouldn't wake Luna up, which was good. I landed at the castle gate, where Celestia's guard saluted me. I nodded back and trotted inside, where I met one of Celestia's secretaries and asked her to let Celestia know that I had arrived. The secretary bowed and went off to go find Celestia, leaving me to go to the throne room.

I only had to wait for about five minutes or so before the two of them walked in. Luna inclined her head in a greeting nod, and Celestia gave me a warm smile.

A smile that fell just about instantly.

"Antares..." Celestia blinked once, and I bit the inside of my lip to hold back a grin. "Something seems... different about you. Indecent, almost, if our past experiences are anything to go by."

I chuckled and shook my head, glancing over at Luna, whose eyes had gone as wide as dinner plates. "No, not indecent. I've just done what I should have done over two years ago." I grinned and spread my wings out to their full extent. "I changed myself back into a male. Permanently. I got the idea from speaking with Kathyrine. She said that Purgle respects males far more. Well, he would look at a male alicorn far differently, and our negotiations may improve if he had reason to respect, or at the very reason, be cautious of us. Maybe that's why he thinks he can go to war with us: Equestria was ruled by three princesses. Now he will have Prince Antares to deal with."

Which, admittedly, sounds really weird.

"Besides, I was born a dude. I know I just kinda got used to being called a 'she' and all that, but it's not really going to be an issue anymore."

"Oh?" Celestia quietly sighed and brought a hoof up to her temple. "Antares... I realize your rationale, both from your past and from the perspective of Purgle, but I do not believe you thought this through. Have you any idea what our subjects will think about this?"

"I know it will be difficult for them to accept at first but really, I am also immortal. Give it a hundred years and no one's going to even remember."

"I understand your thought process, but I am very disappointed in you, Antares. You didn't even speak to us about this first."

"Well, I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up or anything if it wasn't going to wo--"

"Regardless of your reasoning, you clearly have much to learn about putting your subjects before yourself." Celestia sighed and shook her head. "I am so disappointed. So very disappointed in you, Antares. You are in trouble." She pointed to one of the side doors. "Go to my room at once. Do not disobey me."

"I..."

"No backtalk. My room. You. Now."

That's when it clicked. I smirked, but made a show of flattening my ears and trotting out of the room with my head low. I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me, but stopped for a moment and cast an eavesdropping spell.

"Really, Tia?" Luna groaned.

Celestia lightly chuckled. "Is that a hint of jealousy I detect, Lulu?"

"Absolutely not!" Luna snapped.

A pause.

"Perhaps a little."

Author's Notes:

So he's a dude again... for the first time since chapter one. Over 190,000 words later.

Yikes. Did not expect that either.

Switch

Celestia and I had a calm, thoughtful discussion about the current political affairs of my recent gender reverting, and the effect it would have both domestically and internationally. That's the official story and we stuck to it. Yup, nothing but nice, G-rated Puritan approved activities from us. But man, playing checkers all night does make you strangely exhausted in the morning. When I woke up the next day, I realized that I was still in Celestia's room, and a quick glance at the clock told me that it was past noon. Not that this had never happened before, but it had been quite a while. We'd have to do something to make it up to Luna for her having to raise the sun and lower the moon again.

I got out of Celestia's bed and put on my regalia, stopping when I got to my tiara. I frowned and turned it over in midair. Now that I was male, a tiara... well, they aren't very masculine. Don't get me wrong: I liked my tiara well enough, but if I had to pick between that and something a prince would wear... yeah, I'd go for the male outfit, thank you very much. Our subjects are going to be confused enough as it is seeing me as a guy if I'm still dressing like a mare. With a quick burst of my horn I teleported my tiara to my room. I'd figure it all out later.

I walked back over to Celestia's bed, where she still slept. I noted with a trace of amusement that the bruises still hadn't gone away from last night's... checkers. They mostly had, of course, but if one knew where to look they'd see the faint marks. I chuckled and nuzzled her cheek, causing her to stir. She opened one eye and smiled up at me.

"Good morning, Antares. How are you?"

I returned her smile and sat down in front of her. "I'm doing rather well. It's kind of... nice being a guy again, you know? Almost three years as a female and now..." I gave a contented sigh. "I feel like a part of me that was missing has been returned." I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Well, because there was."

"Yes, and I can say that the real thing is far better than the spell we were using." Celestia sat up and leaned back against her headboard. "I cannot say I have ever experienced such a thing, even in my many years."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, you know, you were my first, so I hadn't really experienced anything like that either."

"Indeed." Celestia's smile faded, and she turned to her window. "But despite my joking last night, I really do question how our subjects will perceive this." She sighed and leaned her head back. "You were seen as a maternal princess. A strong mare without necessarily being too aggressive." She shrugged. "Most of the time. We all have our moments. Regardless, you know that their perception of you will change. That is inevitable. What I worry about is that they will now see you as slightly more... dominating. Not necessarily angry or aggressive, but I fear you will be seen as less approachable than before, especially to foals."

I raised a placating hoof. "I realize that there's going to be some trepidation about it, and that'll take some time to get over, but I think that it's time that I have. They'll be nervous at first, but when they realize that I'm the same Antares that they knew before, they'll calm down and come to accept it."

"But you are a different pony, Antares. You realize that your transformation was more than just physical? There is a mental and emotional aspect to it as well. On top of not having to worry about going into heat anymore..." Celestia gave a slight smirk at that, and I returned it. I did hate having to go into heat. As an alicorn it didn't last as long, but... yeah. "You quite simply have a different chemical balance in your body. You have a higher testosterone level than you did before. That will affect you. You must see how differently mares and stallions act in this world, and yours I suspect. You will be no different."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so. Regardless, that doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly be a bad prince. Do any of my goals for this nation change? Are my passions or desires for the direction of this nation or its subjects different now? Of course not. I still want to be their protector and lead them to prosperity. I want them to be safe, and I want them to look up at me and know that they have nothing to worry about, because I will always be there for them. That doesn't change in the slightest because I'm a male. Does the dynamic change because I'm a male? Of course it does. But, if we handle this right, I think that our ponies can benefit from this."

Celestia smiled at me, and leaned in for a little kiss. "I really do like it when you talk like that. I think you are right in that if you handle this correctly we can turn this into a positive thing. However, how do you suggest we breach the subject? We can't just say that you happened to turn male randomly. There must be a viable reason, especially given your main motivation for changing. If Purgle finds out that you changed just to intimidate him, that will be his excuse, and he will have his war."

"I think that we should go for a variation of the truth: the Elements of Harmony. I was doing some research on them, activated them somehow, but not on the same level as the Bearers themselves, and I was turned male." I shrugged. "It's about as good as anything."

Celestia sighed and rubbed one of her temples. "I suppose that it is as good as anything, then. We shall see how that goes. If Purgle does not have proof that you changed to intimidate him, we will have a little wiggle room, I think. It's possible, then, that your little scheme will be successful and he will respect you more. Or at the very least our talks with him will go more smoothly."

"Yeah." I sighed and got to my hooves. "Well, if I had to guess, we're reaching the resolution of that soon regardless. We'll figure it out. Until then, I think I have to be going back to my palace. I gotta break all of this to my staff, if nothing else. Lieutenant Rapids knows to postpone my court if I'm not in."

As I walked towards the door to leave Celestia's room, I heard Celestia chuckle, and I noticed myself being surrounded by a golden aura. I raised an eyebrow as I felt myself being pulled back to the bed.

"And just where do you think you're going, my dear Antares? You're still in trouble, and you haven't served your punishment. You're not going anywhere just yet."

It's nice having time to yourself; something that we don't really get as monarchs. Luna handled things for us well enough, and our ponies, while they might be irritated, don't question us when we can't hold court. We're doing super secret princessey things. So there. So with all of that said, I didn't make it back to my palace until around five in the evening. When I landed on one of the balconies, Lieutenant Rapids alongside two other guards, waited for me with a vaguely irritated look on her face. I gave her a smile when I landed.

"Good evening, Lieutenant Rapids. I trust nothing went wrong in my absence?"

"No not technically," Rapids grumbled. "Other than the whole 'bunch of ponies show up for day court and I have to turn them down-slash-get all of their information so they could re-schedule, and you could study up on what they wanted before most of them come back in the coming week.'" Rapids scoffed. "Really nice of you to just leave like that. Really regal of you. Totally something you can do."

My smirk fell, and my ears flattened. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant Rapids. I realize that I should have at least sent word back of my plans, but I did not intend to stay in Canterlot as long as I did."

Rapids rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh. How many times did you and Princess Celestia go at it, then, after you finished your business?"

"Ehe..." I blushed and looked away. "Look, it doesn't matter. Our business is something that must be discussed with the rest of the staff, as well as the entire nation. You guys first, though. I assure you that it's most important."

"I'm sure that it is." Rapids clicked her tongue and began walking back into the palace. "Just so you know, Princess Antares, your 'turn me a male for the duration of screwing' spell hasn't worn off yet. You're still a dude."

I chuckled and followed my guards inside. "Yeah, ah, about that, it's not a spell. I don't really think that you can call me 'Princess' Antares anymore."

Lieutenant Rapids screeched to a halt, and her wings twitched slightly. She stayed still for a moment before slowly turning around to face me, a bemused look on her face. "Uh..." She exchanged glances with her fellow guards. "You care to run that one by me again?"

"I think you're going to have to start calling me 'Prince' Antares, both now and going forward. I'm going to explain it in more detail to you officers, but long story short, something happened with the Elements of Harmony, and I reverted back to my original gender."

Rapids blinked once, not moving otherwise. "Er..." Her ear flicked. After a moment she exhaled and shook her head. "Right. Fine. You're a stallion now. Okay, then."

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head. "You don't seem completely surprised."

"I was shocked beyond belief, Princess... er... Prince Antares, but having served under you for about three years now, I've kind of figured out that I just need to go with it sometimes."

I shrugged with my wings. "Fair enough, I guess."

"So how would you like to handle this, Prince Antares?" Rapids rolled her eyes. "Would you like me to gather all of the staff and guards together?"

I nodded. "Yes, and we also need to prepare a statement for the press. This is not something that's going to be ignored. The reaction will be quite extreme, I think."

Rapids tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "You think that they'll dislike it?"

I shook my head. "I doubt it. They'll just be really, really shocked. I love my subjects, Lieutenant Rapids, but their reactions to changes can be a bit..." I spun my hoof. "Extreme."

"Can't argue with that," Rapids muttered. "So what do you want to tell them?"

PRINCESS ANTARES GENDER BENDER: EQUESTRIA'S FIRST MALE MONARCH!

Three years ago, our great nation was graced with the ascension of a third alpha alicorn, who took up residence to rule in the great city of Baltimare. Princess Antares, a being previously called a "human" from another dimension, became the princess of snark, sarcasm, pastries, education, and foal services, and flourished in her role. Her snarcasti-guard proved to be highly effective, both in the rescue of the ponies captured by griffin raiders, and the Battle of Baltimare, where she was severely wounded. She thankfully recovered and has since returned to her princess duties.

Or are they indeed princess duties?

It well known that Princess Antares was male when she was in her human form, but in her three year reign, she has been female. However, in a statement from Princess Antares, it has been revealed that she has reverted to her original gender

"It is with great surprise that the crown reveals to you the events of a few days ago. Last week, I took the Elements of Harmony for study to see if I couldn't learn more about them. Somehow, the reason is still undetermined, I managed to activate them on a lower setting of sorts than what the Bearers would be able to do. I was hit with their energy, and when I awoke a few moments later, I found that I had reverted to my original gender. Any efforts I made to change back to a female failed, so I am forced to assume that I am male until further notice. I understand that this is a shock to all of you, but I will assure you that absolutely nothing has changed. I am still as devoted to leading Equestria to prosperity as I ever was. I will continue to lead Equestria to the best of my abilities. Thank you."

Neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna have given statements about this new development, but we expect those to happen in the next few days.

I chuckled and shook my head as I put the newspaper down next to my throne. It was one of the more unbiased papers regarding my recent change, which I appreciated. Other papers, mostly trashy tabloid nonsense, threw out a ton of random theories like how this was my first step back to being a human, or how I was planning on having a harem of mares now that I could indulge in that kind of thing. Yeah, no on that one.

Still, I was about to start my first day of day court since my gender change. I had no idea how the petitioners would react. One thing was for sure, this one would be a bit different than usual.

Lieutenant Rapids entered through the side door and walked to my side. I gave her a slight nod. "So, what's the crowd like?"

Rapids deeply exhaled. "Yeah, your additional part has drawn in a lot of extra attention. I haven't seen the waiting hall so packed since you first ascended."

I sighed and flattened my ears. "Of course. I didn't expect anything less."

"Oh, and most of them are mares. Like, the vast majority of them. Ninety five percent."

I closed my eyes and rubbed one of my temples. "Of course. I should have known."

"You could start that harem that the Vanhoover Inquirer was talking about in the next half hour if you--"

"Yes, thank you, Lieutenant Rapids, I get it." I groaned and took a deep breath. "Okay, I’m ready to get started."

"The single stallion guards out there keeping order will be most disappointed, Prince Antares."

"Part of the job, I'm afraid," I grumbled. "Send the first one in."

"Very well." Rapids nodded to the door guard, who returned the nod and opened up the door. A green pegasus mare with a beaming grin on her face walked in, followed by a blue earth pony who had a similar smile. I internally sighed, but refrained from my usual habit of rubbing my temple.

"Good morning, ladies," I said, forcing a smile on my face. "How can I help you?"

The two mares stopped just in front of the throne and bowed to me as usual, but I could hear them whispering to each other.

"Oh my gosh, Rain, he's even more muscular than I thought," the earth pony muttered.

"I know, right?" the pegasus replied.

I cleared my throat. "You may rise." The mares instantly straightened up, their grins still more than present. "So, what can I do for you?"

I noticed the tails of both of the mares flick upwards slightly, and I bit the inside of my lip to keep myself from throwing them out instantly.

"Prince Antares," the pegasus mare began, "my name is Summer Rain, and this is my friend Fertile Fields." My ear flicked at that one. "We're with a local newspaper, and we were wondering if there was any truth to the harem rumors."

"I see." I alternated looks between the two of them. "So where are your press credentials? What paper are you even from? Why would you come to my day court when you can contact my secretary and set up a meeting with me like all press ponies do?"

That got the smiles off of their faces, which may have put one on mine if not for the fact that I suspected that I would be dealing with mares like them all day.

"You do know that lying to a monarch in court is a crime that carries with it a sentence of one to three years, as well as a ten thousand bit fine, right? That's not to mention the crime of impersonating a member of the press which could get you another year and another twenty thousand bits onto the fine."

Both of the mares went white, and their ears flattened, something that sat very well with me. I allowed myself the tiniest of smirks. "But I am nothing if not a merciful prince, so long as you don't bother me with this kind of thing again. In fact, I'd like you to go out and officially announce this to all waiting petitioners. I will not be creating a harem, nor do I plan on having a mate, bang buddy, one-night stand, or physical intercourse of any kind with any of my subjects. Is that clear?" The two mares nodded glumly. "Good. Now if there's nothing else, then you may go."

The two mares turned around and dejectedly walked out of my throne room, their ears flat and their tails between their legs. When they were out, I groaned and rubbed my temple. "This isn't the end of this, is it, Lieutenant Rapids?"

Rapids shook her head. "Nope. Alicorns tend to be paragons of physical perfection. As a mare you were quite beautiful, as Celestia and Luna are. As a stallion, you're handsome, rugged, muscular, and are presumably well endowed. Or at least, that's what all of the rumors have said." A pause. "Including the ones from some of the mares who work for you. Just because they've known you, doesn't mean they haven't noticed that you've changed into a paragon of stallionhood. "

I growled and facehooved so hard a crack went through the room. "Rapids, I don't... I don't need to know that kind of thing. It's just going to make a bad day worse." I shook my head and motioned to the guard next to the door. "Send the next one in."

The guard opened the door, but instead of a petitioner, one of my guards flew in, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily. "Er... Prince Antares? Almost all of the petitioners have left. We only have about three that have stayed behind."

"Oh for goodness sakes!" I grunted and rolled my eyes. "Send them in, then day court is over after that."

Well, there was one good thing that I had to look forward to about the day: Tulip's ultrasound had been scheduled for right after court. The doctors still insisted that she be confined to the infirmary just until after the ultrasound, but the first test showed that nothing seemed off about the foal, so I suspected that everything would be fine there. Working for me, she had some of the best medical care in Equestria, after all.

As I walked down the hall with Lieutenant Rapids and Private Blaze by my side, I heard somepony behind me call out.

"Prince Antares!"

I raised an eyebrow and turned around to see a familiar mare standing behind me with a rather unsettling grin on her face. I inwardly sighed. "Day court is over, Duchess Coin. Whatever you want can wait until tomorrow. I have other appointments."

Duchess Coin chuckled and sashayed up to me, her tail flicking. "Oh? Well then maybe I can come back tonight, then."

I sighed and rubbed my temple. "Duchess Coin, I really--"

"You understand the benefits of it!" Duchess Coin began walking around me and flicking her tail. "My house, one of the richest ones in Equestria, combined with your power, we could do anything we wanted with an alliance! I think you'll find that I..." She chuckled. "Am not so bad in the area of physical desires, either."

I nodded and tapped my jaw. "Indeed?" Duchess Coin nodded. "I see. Well, that does certainly sound tempting, Duchess. I do spot a flaw in it, though, particularly regarding your plans for tonight. You see, if you are aware that you have prowess in the bedroom, then you must have a large amount of experience to draw that conclusion from. Following that line, I am forced to assume that, despite my endowments, the accommodations you are offering me are too roomy for either of us to gain any benefit. Therefore, I am afraid that I must decline your request." I gave the now stunned duchess a single nod. "Good day to you. I'm sure if you got in here without escort, you can leave my palace in the same fashion."

With that, I turned around and walked away, leaving Duchessess Coin to pick her jaw up off of the floor. Once we were out of earshot, Blaze and Rapids both began chuckling. "Wow, Prince Antares, prince of snarcasm indeed."

I shrugged with my wings. "Well, if I'm going to get propositions of that sort from mares presumably for the rest of time, it behooves me to have a good comeback."

"Can't argue that, I guess," Blaze said with a shrug. "Though... I kinda envy you just a touch."

"Stallions," Rapids muttered, causing me to grin slightly.

"Yes, well, dripping in mares may sound nice, but I hate being objectified. They don't give a rats about Prince Antares the pony, they only care about my physical aspects." I shrugged. "I know it comes with the job. You're right, Rapids, alicorns look good. If our subjects see us as the ideal of physical beauty then we can't really stop them, nor can we stop places like The Princess' Den or the prostitutes who dress like us or the adult magazines." I grimaced. "I just hate it being so out in the open, you know?"

"Well yeah, I can see that," Rapids said with a nod. "I don't think I'd like it either." She shot Blaze a look. "And neither would you."

"I guess not," he muttered.

We dropped the subject as we had just reached the infirmary. I walked in and already saw a group of ponies at the end of the hallway, presumably around Tulip. I trotted down to join them.

"Doctor," I said, nodding at the pony taking Tulip's vital signs. "Nurse, Valiant, Tulip, how are we all doing today?"

"Pretty good, Prince Antares." Tulip chuckled and shook her head. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to that. We're going to have to re-write the Liber Sanctus again."

I returned her chuckle and patted her leg. "Let's worry about that later, alright? Right now let's focus on how you're doing, yeah? You've gotten..."

"Bigger," Tulip grumbled. "A lot bigger. Having a foal does that, I know, but I feel like my barrel has been wrapped in, well, a barrel stuffed with pillows or something. It's kind of unpleasant. Killing my back."

"Yeah, well, so it goes, I'm afraid. My mother had to go through the same stuff when she gave birth to me and my sister."

Tulip's eyes widened. "S-sister? Y-you have a sister? Oh my goodness, why didn't you tell me?! Does the church know?! What is she like? I--"

"Tulip, honey, just calm down," Valiant said, pressing down on her shoulder. "This is about the foal right now, okay?"

Tulip blushed and flattened her ears. "Right. Sorry about that."

"Well speaking of the foal, we can get started now if you want," the doctor said, standing up and levitating his clipboard and a pen over to him.

"Sounds good to me," Tulip said, grabbing ahold of Valiant's hoof.

"Excellent. Now, I am obligated to say that this is the test where we are first able to discern the gender of the foal. Would you like me to tell you, or would you rather wait?"

Tulip and Valiant looked at each other for a moment before Valiant nodded. Tulip returned it and looked back to the doctor. "We'd like to know."

"Excellent. Alright, this will just take a moment."

The doctor fired up his horn, and a bright yellow ball of energy floated out of it. He pushed it away from him, maneuvering it to move into Tulip's baby bump. Tulip flinched when the energy entered her, but waved her hoof when a look of concern crossed Valiant's face.

"Okay," The doctor began. "Preliminary analysis shows..." The doctor's eyes widened, and he blinked once. "Ms. Tulip, I'm afraid our initial analysis was incorrect. You're not merely having a foal... you're pregnant with twins. One filly and one colt."

Tulip and Valiant gasped before breaking out into wide grins. Tulip grabbed Valiant's hoof and nuzzled it, while Valiant wrapped her in a gentle hug.

"Their vital signs are completely normal from what I can see," the doctor continued. "They are growing at a natural rate, and..." The doctor's smile slid off of his face, and his eyes widened again. But instead of surprise like with last time, I could see a glint of fear in them. "Uh..." He blinked and rubbed the back of his neck.

"What?" Tulip looked at the doctor, then Valiant, then to me. "What? What's wrong with my foals?" She sat up a little. "Doctor, what's wrong with my foals?"

"Ms. Tulip your foals..." The doctor took a deep breath and looked over at me. "Prince Antares, if I may speak to you for a moment."

"What is wrong with my foals?!" Tulip screeched.

The doctor ignored her and pulled the energy ball out of her before trotting down to the other side of the room, the ball and his medical folder floating lazily beside him. I motioned for my guards to stay behind, then followed after him. When we reached the end of the room, the doctor whirled around, his face bearing a slight glare.

"Prince Antares, I know this sounds ridiculous, but there are spells for such things, so I must ask you: have you ever had intercourse with that mare?"

My eyes widened, and I took a step back. "I... no! Never once! I swear on my crown that I have never touched her like that."

The doctor pushed his glasses up and draped a foreleg over his muzzle. "Oh dear. That just makes this all the more disturbing."

"What?" I leaned down so my head was at his level. "Doctor, what's wrong with her foals?"

The doctor took a blank sheet of paper out of the folder. He maneuvered the ball so that it merged with the paper, causing an image to form on it. A grainy image that looked a little better than the ultrasound images that we had back on Earth, but I could get what the image represented. I illuminated my horn and took the picture from the doctor, my jaw dropping when I saw it.

Yeah, he had every reason to be worried and scared, because now I was too. The picture showed two foals, a filly and a colt, as expected, but something was definitely off. The body structure, the hooves, the tail. These foals were a cross between a pony...

And a scorpion.

Complications

Scorpion ponies. Scorpion ponies! I don’t... I had no idea what to do there.The first order of business was, what the heck we were going to tell Tulip? I mean, Celestia and Luna needed to know, like yesterday that my secretary was pregnant with a whole new pony race, which could have serious implications. Luna's opinion in this would be critical. After all, she had her bat ponies. I hadn't asked where they had come from, but I knew they were a real race and not just ponies with enchantments in their armor like Celestia's solar guards. For the moment, all we could do was tell Tulip that her foals were unique,, but perfectly healthy. She didn't look completely reassured, especially given that I refused to show both her and Valiant the ultrasound photo, but she accepted it. Probably more because I'm more her god than her prince, which I hated, but I'd take whatever I could get to calm her down.

At my insistence, Celestia and Luna came to my palace immediately. I didn’t tell them exact details, but I told them that there were terrible complications with Tulip's pregnancy; things that would affect Equestria for a long time. So four hours after the revelations of Tulip's foals, Celestia, Luna, and I sat in one of my private meeting rooms with a sound spell around it, the ultrasound picture tucked in my wing feathers.

"Antares, what is the meaning of this?" Luna asked after we were all sitting. "You stated that your secretary has pregnancy complications, but we fail to see why this is a cause for concern beyond the obvious. You have some of the best doctors in Equestria here. I am certain that Tulip will be okay."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. There are some... unexpected complications, as I said. A lot is going to change, if I understand this right." I unfurled my wing and took the ultrasound picture out of my feathers. Unfolding it, I put it in front of Celestia and Luna, both of whom tilted their heads to get a better look at it. They stared at it for a moment while I watched them, waiting for their reactions. Luna spoke up first.

"Antares, this is... not a prank, is it? Or perhaps We are merely misinterpreting what We are seeing on this page." She squinted and pulled it closer to her. "The foals appear to have the characteristics of scorpions."

"I have to agree with my sister. I am most perplexed by this." Celestia glanced up at me. "But I suspect that this isn't a prank, of course."

I shook my head. "Nope. That's the ultrasound that Tulip had done only a few hours ago. We haven't told her anything yet, but I'm waiting on that until we figure out just what we're going to do with this. I mean... that's an entirely new race of ponies we're looking at." I looked over at Luna. "Tell me: how did your bat ponies come about? Was it something similar to this, or were they always there?"

"Not having the information on how these foals came into being, We cannot say for certainty whether or not the circumstances are the same as my thestrals." Luna continued staring down at the page, unblinking. "We can say that Our ponies were not a kind originally found on Equestria. They came to being a few hundreds years into Our reign as princess of the night. The best Tia and I could discern, some of my soldiers became exposed to enough of my night magic when We were performing such tasks as raising the moon, or creating the night sky. Their seed became infused with night magic, and thestrals came into being."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? But how does that work? I mean, Celestia raises the sun in public every year. How does that not affect her subjects?" I looked over at Celestia. "What would an infusion of day magic into a pony even do?"

Celestia shrugged. "I do not know, and that is why when we discovered the creation of thestrals, I took steps to ensuring that events like the Summer Sun Celebration would not harm my subjects in any negative way."

"But what about when you raised or lowered the sun in private? Luna said that that's where her soldiers were exposed to it."

"Using our day and night magic is a very private event for us, Antares," Luna explained. We would always do it in private." Luna sighed and flattened her ears. "Or at least, We did until We began to feel that nopony appreciated our night. Then we allowed some of Our guards to witness the raising and lowering of the moon. From there they were infused with the magic. The thestral gene, being magically based, is a dominant one. A thestral and a unicorn mating would result in thestral foals more often than not."

"So that explains how you have your bat ponies, but..." I pointed to the ultrasound picture. "That doesn't explain these scorpiponies. I mean, Tulip isn't the first staff member I've had that's been pregnant, but these two are the first scorpiponies."

"She would have had to have been exposed to alicorn magic unique to you for this to occur," Celestia explained, tapping her jaw. "I don't know what kind of magic you would have been performing that would have..." Celestia closed her eyes and quietly exhaled. "Ah, I think I see now."

Luna and I both raised an eyebrow and tilted our heads. "What?" Luna asked. "Tia, what art thou thinking?"

"During the battle when you killed Sinosis." Celestia pointed at me. "You split open the sky and rained fire down on your enemies. You summoned a star unique to you. You didn't know it at the time, but Tulip was in the room hiding behind a pillar."

I made a grunt of agreement and began nodding. "Yeah, I see. And from what she told me, she was a few weeks pregnant during that time too."

"Being exposed to that much of your magic at one time would have had a drastic impact on the foals," Celestia said. "I would not be surprised to find that they have some scorpion-like characteristics once they are born."

"Speaking of..." I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. "I have to tell Tulip something. Last thing that happened to her was getting the ultrasound, then I get pulled aside by a very scared looking doctor."

"Yes, I think that some explanation is in order," Celestia said. The three of us stood up, and I took the ultrasound photo in my magic. "Would you like us to help you?"

I shook my head. "No, she's my secretary, and these are, for lack of a better word, my ponies. I think it's going to be easier for her if it comes from me, especially given her..." I hesitated for a moment. "Devotion to me. She is kind of a fanatic Antarian. She found out that I have a sister and immediately wanted to start updating church doctrine, despite us being there for her ultrasound." I gave a weak chuckle. "Man, that seems like it was a long time ago, but it's really just been a few hours." I shook my head. "Whatever the case, I think that I can handle it. I'll be sure to call you two if I need anything."

"Of course, Antares. We are always here," Celestia said.

After escorting the two of them out of my palace and seeing them off, after a few quick nuzzles, and a peck for Celestia, I put the picture back in my feathers and trotted back to the infirmary. As I neared it, I started to get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Of course I could be all casual about telling Tulip that she had two scorpions growing inside of her while I talked to Celestia and Luna, but now that I actually had to confront her about it? Eheh... That's a whole different ball of wax. Still, I was her prince, and she trusted me with everything. Too much, really, but in this instance it would help. If I told her that she would be okay, she would believe it without hesitation, even if she felt scared.

And she would.

I reached the infirmary and walked in, immediately trotting over to Tulip's bed, where she rested with a nurse and Valiant sitting beside her. When the three of them heard me come up, Valiant and the nurse both bowed, while Tulip straightened up in bed, her eyes wide with fear.

"P-Prince Antares, what' going on? What's the matter with my foals?" She tried to sit up, but the nurse gently pressed her back down. "Are they okay?"

"As far as we can tell they are," I said with my best attempt at a comforting smile. She returned it with a weak one of her own, but it quickly faded.

"But then why did the doctor get scared like that, and why has nopony told me what's going on? What did he see when he did my ultrasound?"

"I'm about to show you." I teleported one of my chairs into the room and sat down on it before taking the ultrasound picture out of my feathers. "But before I do, I need you to be prepared. Again, these foals are completely healthy as far as we can tell. You're not going to have sickly, weak foals or stillborns." I took a deep breath, barely able to meet Tulip's frightened eyes. "Your children are going to be scorpi-ponies."

I unfolded the picture and held it out in front of me where the three of them could get a good look. The nurse gasped and put her hooves over her mouth, her eyes wide. Valiant's jaw dropped, and he alternated between looking at his marefriend and me. But the one that made me the most nervous was Tulip. She didn't say a word. She just stared blankly at the page. Her hoof slowly moved up, gently coming to rest on her bloated stomach."

"Those..." She blinked once. "Those foals look like they're part scorpion."

"That's because they are," I said, putting the picture down in her lap. "The princesses and I have talked, and we've determined that it happened when I split open the sky and summoned the star, which is something you were in the room for. You were hit with a ton of my magic. That's the best we can figure, anyways."

"My foals are..." Tulip took in a shaky breath and looked up at Valiant, who could only stare down at the picture. "Valiant?"

Valiant blinked once, then looked down at his marefriend. "Uh... yeah, those are... they're scorpions." He looked back up at me, and I flinched back slightly at the uncertainty in his eyes. "So how are my children going to act? Are they going to be more scorpion than pony? Are they going to be venomous? Do those..." He motioned to the paper. "Pincer hoof things work?"

I shrugged with my wings. "I cannot say. I have no idea."

"So my foals might be feral?"

I gave him my best smile and shook my head. "No, I don't think so. This is the same way that Princess Luna's bat ponies came to be, and as you can see, they've thrived well enough."

"Then that means..." Tulip smiled and took Valiant's hoof. "That means that we're the parents of an entirely new race of ponies, Valiant. A race of ponies representing Prince Antares!" She squealed and pulled Valiant in for as much of a crushing hug as a pregnant mare could manage lying down. "Can you imagine what an honor this is?! Or foals... our foals are going to the be the first of a new tribe!"

"Yeah..." Valiant took a deep breath and wrapped a foreleg around Tulip's shoulders. "Yeah, that's amazing."

I let out a quiet, amused scoff. I had seen that look on Valiant's face before. The whole scope of this thing was so big it hadn't fully registered with him yet, and likely wouldn't for quite some time. Then he'd be unsure of what to do all over again when the foals were born.

Well, all of us would be unsure of what to do when the foals were born. How we acted around them depended on how they acted to begin with.

I gave the happy couple a warm smile and stood up, teleporting the chair back to its usual spot. "Well, I'm glad that you two are behind all of this, and I'm glad that you're not too worried. We're going to do everything that we can to make sure that your foals are healthy and well taken care of. I'm taking a personal interest in this case."

"Thank you, Prince Antares," Tulip said, bowing her head. "I will take great care of these foals. I will not disappoint you. I'm going to be the best mother for them that I can be."

"I'm sure you will be." I stretched out my wings and gave the nurse a nod. "Keep me posted on any change. I want these foals coming out happy and healthy, understood? This is going to change Equestria forever."

So no pressure.

A couple of weeks go by with no real changes. Tulip gets bigger, as all pregnant mares do, but the foals were completely healthy, as far as the doctors were aware. I found myself quite glad that I could avoid drama there.

Life couldn't have that, could it? Not with a war brewing on the horizon. Things had been pretty quiet on that front since I had turned male. We hadn't heard a peep from Aepnet or Purgle, despite every newspaper on the planet still running stories on the subject, so we couldn't say for sure what they were up to, and whether they had bought my "I was experimenting with the Elements" story. If they did, then they'd be more likely to be calm about it, but if they didn't, and figured out that the action was in direct result to their aggression... well, Purgle would see that as all he needed.

I had just finished up court for the day when Time Keeper walked up to me while I was heading towards my private dining hall for an early dinner, an open letter in his magical aura. I inwardly groaned, knowing that Time Keeper wouldn't have approached me with it unless it was really important.

I really didn't want "really important" right then. I had asked for calzones for dinner. After my last birthday, my chefs had gotten quite adept at making imitation meat that was just like the real thing, but without any of the, you know, slaughter of a living being. I put on my best neutral face and turned around to greet my secretary.

"Good evening, Time Keeper. You have something important?"

"Most important, Prince Antares," he responded. I noticed with some unease that his face was a little paler than usual. He held out the letter for me. "It is a correspondence from the office of King Purgle of Schunie himself."

I instantly snatched the letter away from him and began reading.

To Antares,
We need to discuss recent political developments, including your recent gender change. I must congratulate you on that, by the way. I understand you were born male. Bet it's nice to have it back. Come to Schunie at your earliest convenience. Bring Celestia if you must.

King Purgle.

I read and re-read the letter, hardly able to wrap my mind around all of the potential implications. He seemed to be... friendlier about it. Congratulating me on becoming male, and all. I could sense a little more respect out of him. Maybe I was just being hopeful, but I got the sense Kathyrine's information might be paying off. I also noted "bring Celestia if you must." Letters like this always got sent to the strongest of us in the past, which is why diplomatic letters get sent to Celestia instead of Luna and I. That Purgle sent this to me instead of her seemed telling. It showed that he thought the balance of power had shifted in Equestria from Celestia to me. Charming. I looked down to Time Keeper, who was looking up at me anxiously, and ordered him to send a letter.

"This is not comforting, Antares."

"I know."

"Most of me expects him to declare war by this meeting's end."

"I get that vibe too. Maybe my gambit paid off."

"Maybe..."

Three days later, Celestia and I stood outside of a small, constructed shack on the border between the minotaur lands and Equestria. Both sides came to agree that neither trusted the other enough anymore to have meetings inside their capitals, so we came up with that. Yeah, I didn't feel particularly inclined to go into Schunie when I heard that Purgle had a few Nightmare Weapons offhand. That would be a huge, potentially crippling, blow for us if he managed to kill Celestia and I before he got the war going. We weren't going to give him that chance. Ever.

Having said that, I suspected that we'd soon find out what a war between the two of us would look like.

We didn't need to wait long before the object of our conversation arrived. He came over one of the nearby hills, lounging on a throne carried by four other minotaurs. General Bludworth was right next to him, his usual grim expression on his face. He didn't want this to be going on anymore than we did, but from what I had learned of their culture, he'd give it his all if it came to war out of loyalty for his leader.

Once the procession reached us, the minotaurs carrying Purgle set the throne down, allowing him to step out. He walked up to the two of us, keeping eye contact with me the entire time, tilting his head in a slight bow when he reached me.

"Good evening, Antares. You've changed since last we spoke."

I can't say the same for you. Unless you're talking about you being a bigger, more pompous jerk. In lieu of saying that to him, I returned his nod. "Indeed. The Elements of Harmony did quite the job on me. I am quite happy with being my original gender again, yes."

"Good. I know I would hate waking up one morning to discover that I had turned into a female."

If you go to war with us, I might actually be able to arrange that.

"So, what I would like to discuss with you is how this will affect our business going forward." Purgle motioned to the shack. "We should speak somewhere with a bit more privacy."

"Indeed we should," Celestia said. "We have everything set up inside."

Purgle grunted in response. Celestia opened the door with her magic, allowing Purgle, Celestia, and I to walk into the shack. Well, shack seems like such a simple word. It would have made a pretty decent living space if we added some running water to it and whatnot. All we added were three large chairs, a table, and a smaller table with some refreshments. The three of us sat down; Celestia and I sitting opposite Purgle.

"So," Purgle said immediately. "I take it you want to discuss avoiding a war with my nation, which is forming at a rate faster than you probably anticipated. Within six months, the nation of Minotauria will be created with me as the king. Our standing army would be the largest on the planet with a quarter of a million soldiers."

My stomach dropped at that number, but I forced myself to remember that a united warrior clan culture where minotaur males were trained to fight pretty much from birth would start out with a significant army; one already armed and armored. Gun designs began working their way into my mind, and I filed them away for later.

"If I recall correctly," Purgle continued, "your standing army, including each of your guards, numbers about fifty thousand, correct?" Celestia tilted her head in a nod, and I saw the faintest hint of a smirk form on Purgle's face. "Not good numbers. Aepnet has one of about ninety thousand, correct? Now, the odds are evened a little with Mesud's army of around eighty thousand, and maybe that five thousand strong token security force from the Crystal Empire which hasn't seen battle in a thousand years..." Purgle shrugged. "The odds do seem to be in my favor, do they not?"

"Possibly," Celestia said evenly, "unless you count the fact that we have the terrain as our advantage, not to mention an air force you cannot match, Aepnet fighting a two-front war with Mesud, and magic. I'd say that tips the scale in our favor a touch more, does it not?"

"If Aepnet gets involved at all," I chimed in. "We both know he doesn't want to. What's in it for him? I mean really in it for him? Nothing good. Again, we all know that, and so does he. You want to count on him coming to help you? If he doesn't you have a big problem on your hands."

"But this is all moot in the end, Purgle, for you and I both know that Equestria does not wish for a war, and I beg of you to see that." Celestia sighed. "This will end in nothing but pointless bloodshed."

Purgle stared at the two of us for a moment before turning his head to me. "Antares, how many of your human super-weapons have you created?"

"None," I stated bluntly. "And construction hasn't begun on any, nor would I like that to happen."

"I see." Purgle leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "So, given that our two nations have been a little aggressive towards the other, I propose that we figure out a way to solve this without violence."

Celestia and I exchanged a glance, and the faintest spark of hope flickered in our eyes. Maybe...

"We are fully willing to resolve any conflict our nations may have without violence," Celestia said. "We strive to be a harmonious race."

Purgle looked to me. "And you agree with her statement?" I nodded. "Good, then this should be beneficial to the both of us. So if our terms are agreeable to you, Antares, we can avoid war."

I nodded again. "I would prefer to avoid war, so what are your terms?"

Purgle held up one finger. "One, you recognize Minotauria as a sovereign nation with me as its king upon its formation."

"We have already stated that such is our intention," Celestia said. "That is simple enough."

"Two," Purgle continued, ignoring Celestia, "we are allowed to keep the Nightmare Weapons we both know that I have. This agreement cannot be revoked at any time."

I narrowed my eyes and put a hoof on the table. "I'd really rather prefer that you not do that," I growled. "They're not just some powerful weapon, Purgle: that's black magic you're messing with."

Purgle gave me a look of fake sympathy. "Yes, I can see how you'd be opposed to this particular demand, given that you've been wounded by a Nightmare Weapon in the past and I'm sure it hurt like all Tartarus, but be reasonable here: it's in our best interest to keep them in case you ever go back on your word and attack us. I will not leave my country defenseless to the likes of you."

"You're playing with fire, Purgle," Celestia said with a hint of a glare. "I would highly advise against it. Our demand for peace is that you hand over all Nightmare Weapons at once."

"Our third demand is that reparations are paid to Minotauria for all past wars and war crimes that the Equestrians committed on my people." Purgle's face hardened into a glare. "Some wars you've led against minotaurs have wiped out whole clans, ponies. It is time you owned up for those acts."

"And do you remember the other side of those wars, Purgle?" Celestia said, her glare hardening. "Do you not recall how whole Equestrian towns were razed during some raids? Do you recall the city that used to be where Appleloosa is now? There used to be more than one patch of fertile land there before your ancestors razed the city, slaughtered all of its inhabitants, and salted the fields."

"Only to let you know that attacks on us will not be tolerated." Purgle sighed and stood up. "I can see that you are not willing to make peace, even when I hand it to you. I offered you a chance to make amends for your past mistakes so that our nations could become allies and all bad blood would be removed between us, and we would not go to war. Now I see that you never wanted such a thing." Purgle turned his gaze to me. "I hope that you will see the light, Antares. Our offer is still on the table, but I warn you that it will not be for very long. Your aggression will not be tolerated, and after today's grievous insult..." He shook his head and began walking out the door. Before he left, he stopped and turned his head back to me. "Oh, and next time if you're going to bring your mare, tell her to keep calm. Flaring tempers is bad for politics."

And then he left, leaving me vaguely wondering why I hadn't obliterated him where he stood. Until I remembered that that's exactly what he wanted me to try, of course. He was looking for any excuse. Any at all. I shook my head and looked over at Celestia, who was merely staring blankly at the door Purgle had just left out of. After a moment she sighed and gently nuzzled me.

"I have to say, Antares, I learned a lot from that one. He is foolish, but not quite as foolish as I originally anticipated. He knows how to politically manipulate better than I have seen in a while."

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he's going to go straight back to his country and tell his people, whom no doubt know that a war is brewing between our nations, that he met with us to attempt peace. He was the one who suggested this meeting, after all. Now he gets to tell them that we refused all of his, to them, reasonable terms. He gets to spin it however he likes, and we will be the cold, unfeeling aggressors. A perfect excuse to get the rest of the nation behind him, particularly when he uses rallying cries like the destroyed clans he mentioned. He makes them martyrs, tells that we refused to make amends for wiping them out, while conveniently forgetting everything about our side of things. We come out looking truly evil. He'll have all of the support he could possibly want."

"Hmm." I gave a weak chuckle. "I didn't peg him for that smart."

"He managed to become king. He had to be able to manipulate the masses on some level. I suspect he'll use this to gain some support with the griffins too. Not necessarily Aepnet, but maybe some of the dukes."

"Which would be very bad for sure."

"Indeed." Celestia leaned her head against my shoulder, and I leaned back, putting a wing on her back. "Things are starting to look much worse, Antares."

I couldn't argue with that.

Changing of the Guard

"How did it go?"

I looked over at General Bludworth as a small grin crossed my face. "Good. The Equestrians played into my hands perfectly. Our people will demand war now. Nothing will get in our way."

Bludworth frowned and tilted his head as we walked over to my palanquin. "And the griffins? We cannot go to war without them. Even with our forces, Antares' human weapons will be a problem. I've heard rumors that with a group of a dozen pegasi he could sack Schunie. That could potentially end the war in a loss for us."

"Perhaps..." I took my seat and tapped my chin thoughtfully. "Aepnet does seem to be losing his nerve. He's not as devoted to the cause as he once was. I think we may have to go outside of him to get the griffins on our side." I nodded and leaned back in my chair. "Yes. Contact some griffins in the Griffonian intelligence and espionage unit. I know that there are some not loyal to Aepnet, and more inclined to work with one of the dukes."

Bludworth nodded and bowed low to me. "It shall be done, my king."

"Good. My war with Equestria must be successful. The alicorns will be brought to their knees." A smirk crossed my face as I thought of an idea. "And see if you can't send some of our dignitaries south. I'd like to speak with some Diamond Dog warlords."

It had been three weeks since our meeting with Purgle, and, true to our guesses, the minotaurs had gotten angry when they heard that we'd rejected their demands. Their army was mobilizing, and construction was happening to fortify Schunie, as well as some of the other large minotaur cities. War was inevitable, whether we liked it or not, at this point. So, we decided to take away his allies. Starting with his most valuable one. We'd quietly asked for a meeting with Aepnet, and he'd agreed at once. We met in a secret location inside our country. A small constructed shack that Celestia put invisibility and sound muffling spells over so we would not be detected.

"Thank you for meeting with us, Emperor Aepnet. I know that we are not the ponies you'd rather see right now, given our history," I said.

Aepnet waves his talons dismissively. "I don't care about that. Truth be told, I'm rather relieved to hear from you. I only hope that this meeting doesn't get back to Purgle."

"Still, we realize that we have not been on the best of terms lately," Celestia said.

Aepnet grunted, and his gaze flicked over to the door as if he expected minotaur assassins to pop out at any moment. "It doesn't matter. I'm not so vain that I'll sacrifice the good of my country for a blow to my pride. You were looking for the cause of the raid, the evidence was stacked against me, but I was treated well and you released me the instant you realized your mistake. Whatever. The incident is over. Right now we're focusing on the war that we both know is coming."

"I take it that you don't want it to come," Celestia said, pouring some water into a glass and giving it to him. "Drink some water. It'll calm your nerves."

Aepnet grunted and drained the glass, but I didn't think that he looked any less uneasy to be doing this. "Of course I don't want a war. Yes, our army is not weak, and I have been strengthening it in case we must, but..." Aepnet closed his eyes and sighed. "I do not care about pride at this point. I do not care about honor. Purgle is mad. He is warmongering for the sake of it. I will not let my subjects die en masse for his pride. I don't care what kind of treaty I made. I... I know I can be conniving, I know I scheme and plan and try to take advantage of my enemies, but at the end of the day..." Aepnet thunked his head down on the table in front of us. "I do care for my subjects, and I especially care for my daughter. I know I don't show that very well. It's all politics and grooming her to be empress when the time comes, and doing whatever I can to keep my family line going, but I cannot in good faith not do all I can to ensure that she is prepared when there are ravenous dukes out there willing to take advantage of her. I care for my daughter very much..."

Aepnet raised his head and looked at the both of us. "I will not go to war alongside Purgle. I don't care if you attack first. The way I see it, if you attack first it's because you are protecting yourselves. I don't care if I violate a treaty and go down in history as a dishonorable emperor. I'd rather that than the emperor who led his soldiers to mass slaughter."

Aepnet, I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. I could only imagine that Princess Celestia felt the same way. We did both manage to keep our relief inside, though. It wouldn't be very royal if we both started jumping for joy.

"Very well, then," Celestia said. "I must say that we are pleased to hear this. We will, of course, defend Griffonia in the event that Purgle decides to retaliate against you for this decision, but I do not think that likely. He would be overwhelmed between our army, your army, and Mesud's army."

Aepnet perked up a little at that. "You have spoken with Mesud?"

I nodded. "Yes. A few days after our last meeting with Purgle. He has assured us that he will stand by his treaty with us. I am not saying that you need to ally with us to fight against Purgle, but with our help, you will have no cause to fight with him. We will ensure that your subjects are safe."

"As much as you can," Aepnet muttered. "However, I appreciate the sentiment." Aepnet's face turned serious, and he stared into my eyes. "Tell me truthfully, Antares: have you started creating human weapons for your war against Purgle? Something capable of sacking Schunie in mere days despite their military strength?"

Even Celestia stared at me, her gaze questioning. In truth I didn't want to talk about it to Aepnet. Not at all. I wasn't much more comfortable talking about it to Celestia, really. However, I did get the sense that I wasn't going to get out of the question, and they'd both know if I was lying at this point, especially Celestia. I took a deep breath and rubbed one of my temples.

"Not days. Hours. Maybe minutes. It's called napalm. That's all I'm going to say about it."

"So you won't tell me what it does."

I shook my head. "No. If we go to war, you'll find out soon enough."

"I see." Aepnet ran his talons through his head feathers and sighed. "Very well, then. You have my word that I will not join forces with Purgle. I'm not going to slaughter my subjects for his mad schemes. There is no point, especially if you have a weapon that could sack Schunie in minutes." He looked back at me. "I assume Iselin would also apply to that." I tilted my head in a nod which he returned. "Precisely." Aepnet stood up, and we did the same. "We will not join you in your war against him, and I cannot tell you anything that you do not already know. However, I pray that you end it quickly, for everyone's sake. We don't need a world war."

"Well between you and the zebras declaring neutrality, it wouldn't be." I shrugged. "Not sure what the Diamond Dogs are up to, but then again, I never am."

"I suppose," Aepnet mumbled. "Beat him quickly, Antares. I hope your human weapon is as good as you say it is."

"What. Is. napalm?!"

I flattened my ears and took pains to not look at Celestia, despite feeling her glare. Well, she had to find out eventually.

"It's, uh, it's a human weapon," I said lamely as we walked through the halls of my palace.

"I understand that, Antares," Celestia snapped. "What does it do?"

"Er..." I managed to gather the bravery to look over at her, and flinched back even more when I saw that her glare was worse than I thought. "It might be best if I just showed you. Not a demonstration, mind you, just..." I straightened up and trotted ahead of her. "Follow me."

I could still feel her glare on the back of my head, but she didn't say anything as she followed me to one of the lower levels of my palace. We passed by several groups of guards, all of whom saluted me when we passed.

"This area is more heavily guarded than the rest of the palace," Celestia observed. "You are not going to risk anything coming to get your weapon."

I shook my head. "No. If this was used against Equestria it would be a disaster."

"All the more reason that you should not have done this," Celestia growled. "This will change warfare as we know it if this is used."

"And it will if we go to war."

We reached a final door down a long flight of stairs into my basement where four guards stood watch. I smirked and nodded to one of the four mares in the group. "Good evening, Clarice."

She nodded back. "Dr. Lecter. Did you do all these drawings, Doctor?"

"Ah. That is the Duomo seen from the Belvedere. Do you know Florence?"

"All that detail just from memory, sir?"

"Memory, Agent Starling, is what I have instead of a view."

The mare bowed low to me. "Prince Antares. Come in."

"Thank you." I ignited my horn and sent a ball of magic into the tiny, hidden lock inside the door. We heard a click, and the door swung open revealing a white lab setting. When we walked in, a blue magical scanner washed over the two of us before the door slammed shut after Celestia walked inside.

"Interesting choice of password, Antares."

I nodded. "Yep. If anyone tries to come in but they mispronounce any of the human names, or speak to the wrong mare, they know instantly that something's up and they'll sound the alarm. In fact, I even have specific ways I move my head and say the lines themselves. The door locks instantly if they sound the alarm, as it would if all of them were killed. The lock is only open if all four of them are there and alive. I have a spell monitoring their vital signs, so if they start going off the charts for whatever reason, or stop, the room closes."

"Interesting. And how will they sound an alarm?"

I grinned and waggled my hoof. "Now, now, that would be telling. I'm not going to give you all of my secrets. And just in case you get any ideas, they only accept that password from me."

"I see," Celestia said with a grimace. "Very well, then. Show me this napalm of yours."

My grin faded, and I inclined my head over to a white metal table, on which rested a single medium sized black strongbox. Celestia and I walked up to it, Celestia with much more unease. When I reached it, I leaned down next to the lock.

"You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp?"

With a click the top of the box popped open. I used my magic to open it the rest of the way.

"A verbal lock." Celestia nodded in approval. "You really do not wish for this to get out."

I shook my head. "Not at all. As usual the lock only opens to me, and the inflections have to be just right, especially that accent I did at the end. Nobody is getting into this thing without my say so."

"I should hope not. If this napalm of yours fell into the wrong hooves, claws, or hands..." Celestia walked up closer to the box and looked inside. Her eyes narrowed in confusion, and I could see the gears working in her head. Well, I couldn't blame her. She'd never seen anything like this before.

"I... I do not understand what this is supposed to be, Antares," she finally said. "What does it do?"

I let out a single weak laugh and ignited my horn, pulling a single black pellet out of the box about the size of a marble. Celestia took a half step back as though it would destroy all of Equestria at any minute.

"It's quite simple, really. This is fire unlike anything any of your pyromancers could dream up in their worst nightmares. What I have in this pellet sticks to skin, so there's no getting it off once it starts burning you alive. In a city suffering from a napalm strike, beings would die from causes ranging from burns, heat stroke, asphyxiation, carbon monoxide poisoning, smoke inhalation, and so on. Don't even get me started on what it does to buildings."

"That..." Celestia closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Antares, that is barbaric. Even Discord for all of his evils, or Sombra for all of his wonton cruelty, or Nightmare Moon, for all of her scheming, would not dream of thinking of something so disgusting." Celestia raised her head and looked me dead in the eye, her glare returning full force. "And you would use this on civilian populations? You would have our army march into a blackened city?"

"Celestia, if I use this, there won't be a Schunie to go into."

"All the better!" she snapped. "Wipe the economic and cultural center of an entire blossoming nation off of the map forever! I'm sure that won't have any negative repercussions for millennia to come!"

"Then what, Celestia?!" I gently placed the pellet back into the box. "What do you want me to do?! Just throw my soldiers at hundreds of thousands of bloodthirsty minotaurs?" I glared at her and slammed the box shut. "Not. An. Option. Do you understand me, Celestia? I'm not going to sacrifice a single one of my ponies if I can help it!"

"The war is coming, Antares," Celestia retorted. "I do not like it any more than you, but beings die in war. I wish to be a princess whose nation wins because of diplomacy, not because we slaughtered tens of thousands of beings in mere minutes then threatened to do it again!"

"So better some of our ponies die so we have time to think of a diplomatic situation than taking advantage of a way to win now?" I scoffed. "I cannot believe this! These are ponies with families, Celestia! If we send ten thousand soldiers against a minotaur army and lose, then that's an uncountable number of grieving ponies!"

"How dare you even suggest that I do not care for each and every one of my subjects!" Celestia jabbed a hoof into my chest, but I didn't flinch back at all. "You had better pick your words very carefully, Antares. I will not go down in history as the greatest mass murderer of all time, is that clear?!"

"So what, we should just let our subjects die horrifically in battle?!"

"It's not that simple, Antares. We are not just throwing them blindly at the enemy."

"But some of our subjects will die!"

Celestia nodded. "That is the nature of war; a war we both know cannot be avoided. Even killing Purgle would make a martyr out of him, giving the minotaurs all of the cause they need, as well as a central figure." Celestia sighed. "We will do our best to make this quick. That is all I can say."

"I can't do it again!" My anger instantly drained away, and with a single sob, I sat down on my haunches and held my head in my hooves. "I can't," I whispered. "I can't watch our subjects die in battle, knowing that I can do something to save them. I can't... I can't close my eyes and dream of the soldiers I lost anymore. I still do. Every now and again I'll dream of nothingness, but I'll still hear their hooves marching. Marching. Marching." I looked back up at Celestia and saw that her fury had melted away, and she now looked at me with a contemplative, yet vaguely sad, gaze. I took a deep breath and continued.

"After the battle, when I was in the hospital, the soldiers who died marched past me and said that it was an honor to die for me. That they'd do it all over again to protect me. Celestia, I... I'm not worth that. If in a thousand years I lead Equestria to prosperity like its never known and bring peace to all of the known world, I will still not be worth hundreds of my ponies dying horrifically for me. This war..." I grunted. "Purgle doesn't really care about Equestria itself. Not in terms of the individual ponies, at least. He hates it as an idea. And who symbolizes that idea? To him: we do. And he thinks he has a lot of reason to hate us. His hatred is for you, me, Luna, Cadance, and Equestria as an idea. An abstract. Do you really want that to be the reason we send our ponies to die?"

"They will be fighting to protect their homes, their families, Antares, as well as you and I. Do not be so vain as to assume they only fight for us."

I shook my head. "I don't. Of course I don't. But they'd be going to war for the massive, complex chess games that they have no knowledge of. Do you think the average farmer or cloud maker cares about international politics on a day-to-day basis? Or has to think about what every single move they make could do fifty years from now? No. The soldiers we send out to war, especially one like this, die for the games we play. They'd be dying for some madman's pride." I took a deep breath and slowly stood up. I turned to the box and laid a hoof on top. "I wouldn't have to get any ponies involved. That's the best part. No one feels guilt but me, and I'd feel that anyway."

"Antares..." Celestia took an uneasy step towards me. "You are not feeling well. I can see that. This war business is putting a lot of strain on you. Let us leave this place. Find somewhere to relax."

"Birds. That's how I'd do it," I continued, ignoring Celestia. "Got the idea from a few of Earth's more tactical minded rulers. I'd put the pellets in pouches, tie the pouches to birds, have an animal expert tell them to fly over Schunie, and if I time it right, the heat of the pellets will burn through the pouches and land in the city. Boom. No more Schunie."

"Antares, please." Celestia gently put a wing over my back. "Forget the war. Forget everything. You are clearly far too stressed right now!"

"And none of my subjects would have to die." A small grin crossed my face, and I let out a single laugh. "We'd win and every single one of my subjects would be safe at home with their families where they belong. No grieving wives or husbands or mothers. No more weeping foals missing their parents. Victory with no cost."

It was at that moment that Celestia chose to grab my head and jerk it towards her so that my face was inches from her, and I had to look her straight in her eyes. "No cost? How about the thousands of innocent civilians who want as little to do with this war as you? How about the trust lost from your subjects when they see what horrors their prince is truly capable of producing in the darkest corners of his mind? How about thousands of years of culture in that city? How about the economic stability for an entire nation; a nation that will see all of its attempts at unification once again fall into nothingness? Can you tell me that there is truly no cost to this victory of yours?"

"I..." My mind's eye flashed with a visual of Schunie in flames. Mothers holding their screeching children while their families burned into ash around them. Hundreds choking on on the thick black cloud of smoke, even as the unrelenting flame licked at their bodies. Strong, previously stoic males trying to get their families out of the city amidst the chaos while trying to keep the sheer terror in their eyes from spreading to the rest of them. And then I saw myself. Hovering above the city with a satisfied smile on my face, looking down at the victory I had brought about.

I snapped out of my vision and turned my head away from Celestia. I leaned my forehooves against the table before slowly shoving the box away. I sniffled, trying to keep the tears welling up in my eyes from dripping out and generally failing. I felt Celestia put her wing back on my back before draping a foreleg over my shoulder.

"I understand, Antares. To see our subjects die, especially in a way as horrific as war, is the worst thing I've seen in my time as a princess. And the way you were thrust into it made it even more horrible." Celestia leaned in and gently nuzzled my cheek. "I do not blame you for your stress, Antares. I am very stressed too. I am not sure of how to win this war quickly and with minimal casualties. But things are looking up. Aepnet will not join Purgle's side, Mesud will fight with us, and the Blade Wings are working tirelessly to find every advantage that we can get."

"Yeah." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hoof. "I guess. I dunno, I suppose I just panicked." I motioned to the box. "It's not like that stuff's hard to make, and with my alicorn memory and royal access to whatever I want?" I clicked my tongue. "Yeah."

"There are better ways than wiping out whole cities."

"Yeah..." My mouth creased into a frown as a thought struck me. "Cities maybe not, but advancing armies..." I glanced over at Celestia. "I know this probably isn't much better, but if an army of a hundred thousand minotaurs marched towards Equestria and I used some of this to defeat them, that would be better because it's combat."

Celestia groaned and pushed the box farther away. "Antares, let us not discuss the war for today. You, Luna, and I are taking the rest of the day off. I know it might be poorly timed, but if we do not have such a day, the stress might overwhelm us."

I shrugged. "Can't disagree with that."

"Gentlegriffins, thank you for meeting with me."

"this had better be good, Fromme," Zangara grumbled. "I do not like secret meetings of this nature, especially with a duke as young as you. If Aepnet found out--"

I waved my claw. "Aepnet will not find out. The coward does not leave his palace, and has pulled his guards off of the streets to surround him. He thinks Purgle is going to storm Iselin to collect his head."

"He does not seem to want a war anymore," Byck said evenly. "And yet he is building up our forces."

I smirked at Byck. "Which is fortunate indeed. Aepnet does not know how to play the long game, gentlegriffins, despite his insistence that he does. He's far too paranoid to just let things play out as they would, so he interferes and ruins any plan he might have made." I chuckled and began examining my claws. "Meanwhile, I like to think that I am quite adept at thinking in both the long and the short terms, especially when it comes to my beloved Griffonia."

"All the more reason not to trust you," Zangara snapped. "If I believe you have plans for years ahead in the future, then how should I react to that? You come from a weak clan, Fromme. Your predecessor was executed."

"Yes, nasty business, that," I said sarcastically. "But you know as well as I that clans rise and fall. It's just the way our country works, it seems. Nothing to be done about it, really."

"In my experience, griffins as motivated as you in political matters can be trouble," Byck said.

I chuckled and slapped him on the back. "Oh my dear Byck, surely you were once an idealistic young politician who was going to be emperor one day and lead your clan to complete glory for the rest of time?"

Byck gave a slight grimace, but shook his head. "Perhaps, but not in the way you're going about it. I built my power by being quiet and striking slowly and only when necessary. It has worked out splendidly for me."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm certain that your line is quite content with being just dukes for now, but think about it: hasn't Aepnet's line been ruling too long? And look at what a job he's done! A few years ago he was lounging around in an Equestrian prison while his wimpy hatchling was sitting on the throne shivering like she'd just come out of the egg!" I tapped a single claw on the table. "Now they're allying themselves with Equestria against Purgle. Do we really want to be under the hooves of Celestia?"

"Do we really want to be on the wrong end of Antares?" Byck said. "He is exceptionally dangerous when provoked, so they say. Word on the street is that all the assassination attempt did was wake a sleeping giant. Who knows what his human weapons could do to us?"

"And there are more rumors that he doesn't have any!" I pointed out. "Besides, let's forget Antares and the war. Aepnet's paranoid. He's worried that something's going to happen to him, and that puts us in a rather poor position, wouldn't you say? Paranoid rulers aren't kind to their enemies." I allowed myself a small grin. "And if we ally with Purgle, our nation will be stronger. Celestia will do everything that she can to avoid war, and I'm all for that, especially given Antares and whatever weapons he may or may not have." I shrugged. "Though we do have Nightmare Weapons, as does Purgle. There are three more out there to find."

"Two," Zangara groaned. "Cadance's Blade Wings found another one last week. Luna destroyed it with great zeal."

I waved my talons. "Fine. Whatever. Two. We have our own intelligence and espionage units working on getting those last ones. They’ve been going through their contacts in the underworld in each country to see what the scum of the planet might know. Freemind changelings are an especially good source of information, I find. We’ll pick up another weapon. The more we have the better. I don't want to risk a bloodthirsty Antares marching into Iselin. After what he went through, he'll be terrified at even the mention of Nightmare Weapons."

"Granted," Byck said with a nod. "So you wish to ally yourself with Purgle against the wishes of our emperor? While he is this paranoid?" He shook his head. "You are a fool, Fromme."

"Indeed?" I tapped my jaw thoughtfully. "Hmm... I don't think so, actually." I alternated my looks between my fellow dukes. "Do you really think I'd call this meeting if I didn't have every faith that I could put all of my plans into motion? As I said: I play the long game." I stood up and walked over to a nearby window. "I've been meeting with Purgle for the past three weeks. Him and I have some interesting plans set in motion. I'd suggest you fellows join me instead of opposing me. I do have the full might of the minotaur nation backing me up."

Zangara slammed his fist on the table and stood up. "Just who do you think you are?!" he snarled. "You are playing a dangerous game!"

"One I would not play if I wasn't positive I could win." I turned back around, my biggest smirk adorning my face. "I've been planning this for years, gentlegriffins. Purgle was just the backer I needed. I'd suggest you swear loyalty to your new emperor."

Even Byck looked surprised at that one. Huh. I'd have thought that he only had the one facial expression. Neither of them spoke, though. I think they were too shocked. I chuckled and decided to elaborate.

"From the moment I was elected as the new Duke Fromme, I knew that I needed this moment to come. Aepnet shamed my clan in ways that I didn't think possible when he executed my predecessor for a crime I'm certain he did not commit. Now his day of reckoning is upon him, and as a final insult, the next griffin to sit on the throne of this nation will be from the very clan he thought he destroyed."

"You're... you're mad," Zangara whispered. "Aepnet is too well guarded. Any attempt on his life will certainly fail, and in his paranoia he'll get the Equestrians to help him kill us all!"

"As I said, gentlegriffins, I've been planning this for years." I chuckled again. "Thanks to bribery, espionage, and false identities, Aepnet and Kathyrine are surrounded by griffins loyal to me. They wait only for my command. And in terms of planned assassinations to help solidify our power, those two are only the beginning."

The other two dukes went white, but due to me having the backing of Purgle, they knew they were powerless to stop me. I would be emperor.

"When... when will this happen?" Zangara said after a few minutes of silence.

I turned my head and looked out the window to check the time.

"Oh... about twenty minutes."

Gotta say, that day was exactly what I needed. The three of us stayed in Celestia's room and gossiped, played board games, ate ice cream and whatever the heck else we wanted to do. Nothing about mass death. Nothing about impending war. I was thankful we were not interrupted with anything. We were in Celestia's room for that very reason; just in case an emergency popped up. I'm glad nothing did. I unwound more than I had in months.

But all good things must come to an end, so I went back to my palace that evening, grateful for my day off.

In fact, the next few weeks were pretty quiet. Tulip, now seven months pregnant, started doing a little work for me now to justify the paycheck she was getting from me. I didn't think she needed to worry about it, but she insisted, so I gave her some paperwork to do. It took a little load off of Time Keeper. She did insist upon getting out of bed sometimes, though, such as that particular moment. The three of us--me, her, and Valiant, who came to keep an eye on his now fiancee--were walking through the corridors of the palace, with her listing off some schedule or other. I wasn't really paying attention. I'd just get her to give me a copy anyway.

"... and then you can go to bed for the night. Does that sound alright?"

"Uh-huh."

Tulip nodded and put the sheet back into a folder she was carrying. "Good. I'll be sure to get you a copy so you remember--"

"Tulip..." I looked over at her. "What do those foals mean to you? Just beyond the fact that you are their mother and you're carrying them. Is there anything else? If not, that's still excellent." I glanced at her swollen belly. "I'm just wondering because, you know... scorpions."

Tulip stopped and put a hoof on her stomach. She smiled and gave a contented sigh, nuzzling her fiance. "Obviously they mean the world to me just by the fact that they're my foals. Even if they were unicorns and not pony/scorpion hybrids I'd love them with all of my heart. I'd love them no matter what kind of pony came out because they'd be my foals. But..." Tulip looked back over to me. "In terms of them being the first scorpiponies ever? It terrifies me at the same time that it excites me, and I'm not just talking about how much the delivery is going to hurt." She leaned her head against Valiant and stuck her tongue out. "I'm talking about the fact that, well, all eyes are going to be on me as the mother of a new race of ponies, especially the church. They are your ponies, after all. If I don't take care of them right, what kind of ponies are they going to become? Heck, what kind of ponies are they going to become period? Are they going to be feral? More scorpion than pony?" Tulip shrugged. "I don't know. I can't know, and that terrifies me."

"It'll be our own little adventure," Valiant said with a smile. "The mother and father of a new tribe of ponies."

"They're going to be a hoofful, that's for sure."

I shrugged with my wings. "Yeah, well, that's--"

I was cut off when a familiar sound echoed throughout the palace. One that I never hoped to hear again.

The alarm bell.

My eyes went to pinpricks, but I reacted much quicker than last time. "Valiant, get your wife into the nearest conference room and lock the door! Don't let anypony in unless they're with me or have the password! The password is rosebud."

Valiant nodded and saluted. "Rosebud. Got it."

With that, I bolted towards the nearest exit and flew out to the guard tower, where one of my soldiers was ringing the bell. He stopped when he saw me land and saluted.

"Prince Antares!" He pointed in the distance in the direction of Griffonia. "Three griffins approaching the castle! Two of them are armed!"

I looked out to where he pointed, and sure enough, three griffins were flying towards us. Two armed with sharp spears and one unarmed as far as I could tell. She looked vaguely familiar, but she seemed like she was flying for her life. My eyes widened when I recognized her.

"It's Princess Kathyrine!" I shouted.

I instantly took wing and flew out to meet the griffins. When Kathyrine saw me approach, she pointed back at the griffins chasing her, who had slowed down now that they saw I had gotten involved.

"Help!" she screamed. "Th-they're trying to kill me!"

I glared at the two griffins who were now backing up before igniting my horn and shooting a beam at the two of them that instantly froze them both. They tumbled towards the ground, but I caught them before they hit. No reason to kill them before Celestia and Luna could interrogate them. I flew back to my gathered soldiers and turned the griffins over to them before turning back to Kathyrine.

To put it frankly, she was a mess. Her feathers stuck up every which way, and her eyes were puffy and red. She was hyperventilating, and I saw a long gash dripping blood on her right foreleg. I gingerly walked up and sat down beside her.

"Kathyrine?" I said as gently as I could. "What... what happened? Why were they chasing you?"

Kathyrine's hyperventilating stopped, and I heard her whimper. She looked over at me, and a single sob escaped her throat. Before I could do anything, she threw her forelegs around me, wrapped me in a crushing hug, and began sobbing. Like the hysterical screaming sobs of someone who has lost everything and it's just hit them. I grimaced and returned the hug.

"You're safe now," I said quietly. "No one is going to hurt you here."

"They killed him," Kathyrine whimpered. "Th-they killed my dad."

Kathyrine leaned back a bit and wiped her eyes with the foreleg not cut up. I felt my heart break when I saw a single feather clutched in Kathyrine's fist like it was her only worldly possession left that could only have come from one griffin.

The Straw and the Spark

The very first thing I did was put Kathyrine in my room under heavy guard and every protection spell that I could think of. On top of that, I put my two best doctors in there with her to fix her foreleg and make sure that nothing else was wrong with her.

Physically.

Emotionally? Man, I didn't even know what I was supposed to do to help her. I didn't know how she was going to change from all of this. Her life would be drastically different, I knew that. But honestly? It sucked that I couldn't focus all of my attention on that. I wanted nothing more than to wrap Kathyrine in my wings and let her cry on my shoulder, but I had other things to do that, unfortunately, were a little more important. After making sure that Kathyrine was in good hooves, I teleported a quill and parchment over to me and began walking down to my office. I had work to do, and it needed to be done quickly. As I walked, I penned out a short letter to Celestia and Luna.

Coup in Griffonia. Dukes overthrew Aepnet by attempting to kill him and Kathyrine. Aepnet dead. Kathyrine injured, but escaped to my palace. She's safe. Come quickly.

With a burst from my horn, I sent the letter off just as I reached my office. I opened up a filing cabinet and began frantically flipping through the folders until I found the one that I needed. I yanked it out of the cabinet, pulled out a form, tossed it on my desk, and began filling it out like mad. I didn't know if the gamble would work, but if nothing else, Kathyrine needed to know that we were trying to keep her safe. I finished filling out the form and picked it up in my magic before teleporting to the door outside of my room, narrowly avoiding landing on one of my guards when I appeared. I took a deep breath and a moment to collect myself before speaking.

"Lieutenant Rapids, how are things with the princess?"

Rapids shrugged. "Dunno. You only left about ninety seconds ago. I can't say if there's been any drastic change in her health or temperament."

I chuckled wearily and nodded. "I guess I was kinda rushing." I clicked my tongue and rubbed my temple. "Anyway, I'm going in. You keep making sure that no one gets in here without my permission. Password 'Lector'."

Rapids saluted me. "Lector. Got it."

"Good."

I lit my horn and let a few of the protection spells I had placed over the door power down before opening it and walking inside. Kathyrine laid on my bed where I had left her, the doctors cleaning her recently closed wound and scanning her body for any more injuries. She just laid there, not even moving. She didn't flinch when one of the doctors patted her wound with disinfectant and began bandaging it. She merely stared at the single feather still in her grip. To the untrained eye, her expression looked completely blank, as if it had no more emotion left to give. I stared at her eyes as I walked up, and I saw nothing but deep hurt and sorrow. Pure emotional pain.

The two doctors looked over when they heard me enter the room, and they bowed to me.

"How is she?" I asked.

"She is doing fine, physically speaking," one of the doctors said. "We've cleaned and bandaged the wound on her arm. There were no other injuries that we could find."

I nodded. "Good. If there is nothing else, then you may return to Tulip." The two doctors bowed and trotted out of the room leaving me alone with a griffin that I really didn't have any idea what to do with right then. Not in the long run, anyway. I slowly walked up to her and gently cleared my throat, but she gave no indication that she'd heard me. She just continued staring at the feather.

"Kathyrine?" No response. "Kathyrine, I know that asking you how you're doing is a dumb question, and it would be extremely insulting if I even attempted to think about imagining what you're going through right now." I sat down next to the bed and put a hoof right next to her foreleg. "But I want you to know that you're safe here, okay? Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance and I are gonna do everything to make sure that you're not in any danger." I took the form I carried and put it on the bed next to her, along with a quill. "Now, I need--"

Kathyrine scoffed and snatched the form and quill off of the bed. She flipped the to the last page and scrawled her name on the final line before tossing both of them back to me. I caught the form and the quill in my magic with a frown.

"Kathyrine, don't you at least want to know what--?"

"Don't care right now," she muttered, leaning her head back against the headboard. "You say you're gonna try to keep me safe, so I trust you."

I stared at her for a moment, trying to read any emotion or motivation, before sighing and taking the quill and form back. "Okay. I guess that's all I need from you, then." I looked back to her. "Is there anything you need? Just say the word and I'll do my best to get it for you."

"I want..." Kathyrine's voice cracked, and she paused to clear her throat. "I want you to call a meeting with the other two dukes and the so called 'new emperor.' I want you to use your magic on them so that they can't go anywhere. I want you to give me a blunt spear, and I want you to let me kill them all slowly. I'll shove that blunt spear in, and they'll scream, and they'll scream, and my dad will look down on me from Paradise and... and be really proud that I avenged him and got rid of the griffins who made his life... our life a living Tartarus." Kathyrine turned her head to me, and her mouth formed into a ghost of a wry smile. "But I'm gonna guess that's not what you meant, huh? You were thinking more along the lines of some food, or something like that?"

I snorted and tilted my head in a shrug. "Well, I should have figured you'd ask for something like that, yes."

Kathyrine's small smile faded away, and she looked down at the feather again. "There's gonna be a big war, isn't there?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so."

Man, saying it out loud to somebody not Celestia or Luna... It made the whole thing seem that much more real and inevitable. When talking to my fellow rulers, there was always a sense for me that maybe, just maybe, something would come along that would allow us to avoid the whole bloody mess. But now? Saying it to Kathyrine? That was the moment I realized beyond the shadow of a doubt that the war was coming, and we couldn't do a single thing to stop it short of wiping Griffonia and the minotaur lands off of the map.

We were going to war.

I took a few deep breaths to quiet the panic that began building up in my chest at the thought. I needed to focus on Kathyrine right then. Unless an army was on Baltimare's doorstep, I could spend a little time helping her.

"So," I said after a few moments, "do you want to talk about it? What happened? Which duke started the coup?"

Kathyrine continued staring down at the feather in her grasp for a few seconds, not responding. After a moment, she raised her head and looked to my closed and covered window in the direction of her country.

"What happened, Dad?"

Dad looked over at me, but didn't even slow down as he almost flew to one of his meeting rooms, or something. I spread my own wings and went a little quicker to catch up with him.

"Dad? What's going on?"

"We're not going to war with Purgle," Dad said quickly, like he didn't have time for this conversation. "The Equestrians have given their full support to us in case he decides to retaliate."

I frowned as we got to his meeting room, where two of his guards and William were waiting for us. "So that's good, right? I mean, that means that we aren't gonna have to be worried about Purgle invading our country? We don't have to go to war, right?"

Dad motioned for the guards to open the door, and they did. We walked into the room, where a bunch of Dad's advisers and stuff were waiting for him. I guess he'd called the meeting earlier. The guards and William followed us inside and shut the door behind us. Dad took his seat at the head of the table, and I stood next to him. I didn't usually sit in on his meetings, but since this was about war and all, I kinda figured that I'd better be in the loop, ya know? I was still heir to the throne and all that, and this was important stuff.

"Gentlegriffins..." Dad took a second to collect himself before continuing. "I have met with Celestia and Antares, and they have promised to give me support. Our nation will not join in Purgle's upcoming war against the Equestrians. I have made the calculations, and there is no scenario where we come out on top."

One of the advisers, Princep, I think, scoffed and crossed his forelegs. "Forgive me sire, but are you sure that is a wise move? We've already built up our army to one hundred and thirty thousand griffins strong. That's the size of the Saddle Arabian army and the Equestrian army combined! We have more than enough power to take them on with Purgle on our side."

"That may be so, but there is another factor: Antares' human weapons."

"Which he hasn't created yet!" another one, Ironbeak, said.

Dad shook his head. "In the past, yes, that was true. However in my last meeting with him..." I saw Dad grip the armrest of his chair. "He said that he had created one. He called it 'napalm.' He said that it could destroy Schunie in a matter of minutes, so I have no doubts that it could do the same to Iselin, or whichever town or city struck his fancy. Maybe all of them. He wouldn't describe the details of the weapon to me."

"Then it's a trick!" Princep said. "Antares is bluffing to get us to back down. No Equestrian leader would use or create a weapon that wiped out a city in minutes."

I really, really hoped they were right about that one. The thought of Iselin just... gone? I didn't even want to think about it. I started to feel even happier that Dad had made peace with Antares and Celestia.

"No, Antares is not bluffing," Dad said. "He has created this 'napalm' of his, and I have no doubt that he will use it if he feels that he needs to. This is not the window washer that was hit with the Elements of Harmony and found himself way over his head anymore. Not after that assassination attempt. Celestia does not hold Antares' leash. He is, of course, still younger and more politically inexperienced than everygriffin in this room, but after seeing what his guard is capable of and hearing of his weapons, I feel that he will excel at war." With that, Dad stood up. "And I will not be on the wrong side of the Equestrians' wrath. Not when they have Mesud attacking our other border. Even with our large army, a two front war with Mesud on one side and Antares on the other would be exceptionally bloody. For both sides, I think. I will not do that when we have nothing to gain."

"We can gain land from them!" Princep said.

Dad chuckled weakly. "What? Baltimare? That's the most valuable bit of land close to us. You want them to give up Antares' capital?" Dad shook his head. "No. We will not go to war. Purgle can go die fighting the Equestrians on his own."

I moved a little bit closer to Dad at that. For some reason, him saying that made me feel just a little bit more like a chick again. Like everything was out of my control and understanding and I didn't have anything to do with how it all went down. I guess Dad musta sensed how I was feeling, because he put his wing on my back.

"The meeting is adjourned."

Princep stood up and sighed. "Yes, I suppose it is. There is also much work to be done." I frowned a little at that. I didn't like his tone, or his small smile. He nodded to one of the guards in the room. "Gentlegriffins, if you would."

Before I could do anything or react in any way, the guard saluted, grabbed his sword, and plunged it straight into Ironbeak's neck.

I wanted to react. I really did. I mean, Princep, a griffin that had been working for my dad for a while now, just told a guard to kill another adviser I'd know since I was a chick, and he did it! I blinked once and saw that the other guards around the room were pulling their swords and crossbows out, or slashing with their spears. I turned around and saw the two guards that had opened the door for us repeatedly stabbing William, who by that point was just a bloody mess on the ground. I turned to my Dad who was just looking at the whole thing in shock.

"Dad! Run!" I screamed.

I shot forward and knocked into one of the guards stabbing William's body, my momentum sending him flying. He hit the door and it burst open. I grabbed his dropped spear and slashed at the other guard. Got him right in the neck. A blur went right past me, and I realized that Dad had started running. I flew after him, tearing off his cape and crown so that he could fly faster.

"Dad! We gotta get out of here!"

"I don't understand!" Dad wailed. "Princep has been one of my most valuable advisers for years! He'd never betray me! Never!"

"Well, looks like he did!" I growled. "And if he did, then there's no telling who else is in on this too." I looked back and saw some of the assassins following us, but just as one of them raised his crossbow to shoot, another group of guards came running down a side hallway, one of them tackling the assassin, making his shot go wide right. The guards would distract the assassins and maybe kill them all, but I didn't know how deep it ran.

"Dad, I think we gotta get out of Griffonia!” I pointed to a nearby balcony. "We can go to Equestria! Antares and Celestia will protect us until we can figure out what's going on!"

Dad nodded. "Yes, yes. I suspect one or all of the dukes is behind this. If that's the case, the entire country is not safe."

We flew as fast as we could, hoping beyond hope that no one would get through the guards fighting the assassins and catch us before we could get to the balcony. Or the Equestrian border, for that matter. I didn't think I'd feel safe until I was talking to Celestia and Antares about this whole thing. With their help, we could figure out who exactly was behind all of this and stop them and get my Dad back on the throne where he belonged. And maybe once our enemies figured out that Equestria was backing Dad, they wouldn't try this anymore. We just had to make it a little closer to the balcony then we could fly free.

We were, like, twenty feet from the balcony. That's all. Twenty feet then we could go any direction we wanted and they would have a really hard time finding us before we got to Equestria. That's all.

But then he just... appeared, still wearing that stupid grin.

Princep flew right around the corner into the hallway we were flying down and looked right at us. He had a crossbow in his claws. Dad and I both screeched to a halt as he raised it, took aim, and fired.

I did a barrel roll to the right as I heard the bolt coming towards us. I went right side up in the air, and pointed my spear at Princep, a snarl on my face. I was rearing and ready to go.

But then... then I heard my dad breathing weird, and I heard him hit the ground beside me. I looked to my left and saw him lying there, twitching on the ground.

The crossbow bolt was sticking out of his chest.

I screamed and dropped my spear, landing next to Dad and cradling his head as he bled out in front of me. He looked at me, and he just looked so helpless. LIke he wanted me to make it all better. To save his life. But I couldn't.

"It's okay, Dad," I whimpered. "It's all gonna be okay. I'm gonna make sure that the ones who did this pay, okay? We aren't gonna let this go unanswered."

I moved to one of his wings, and that's the only reason I'm still alive. The second I moved, I felt a sharp pain in my foreleg. I screeched in pain and grabbed the wounded leg. Princep. I had forgotten about Princep. I stood up and grabbed my spear, charging him as he reloaded. When he saw me coming, his stupid little smile fell. He knew he didn't have enough time before I got to him. He dropped his crossbow and started to fly away, but I didn't let that happen. He shot my dad! I got to him before he realized what happened and shoved my spear right through his chest. He fell to the ground without a sound.

Something weird happened, though. When he hit the ground, he burst into green flame, and when that stopped, instead of Princep, it was... a changeling. I'd never seen one before, but I knew what they looked like. That bug body, the weird eyes, the green blood, all that. I spun around and looked at the battle between my guards and the assassins. A few of the assassins were dead, but they hadn't turned into changelings. I still had to run, though. I ran back to my dad, and my heart sank when I saw him. He wasn't moving. His eyes were glazed over and... I knew he was dead. I let out a sob, but knew I had to run. I reached down to Dad's wing and pulled out one of his pinion feathers.

Then I ran.

Kathyrine stared down at the feather, barely moving. She didn't speak for a minute or so.

"I was spotted by the two griffins you saw chasing me just as I reached the forest. I flew as fast as I could all the way through it and just barely made it. The rest you know, I guess."

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. "What's interesting to me is the changeling. That's unnerving that whomever overthrew your dad is working with them."

"I don't think it was one of Chrysalis'," Kathyrine said. "I think maybe it might have been a freemind. Would have been easier to get one of them to replace Princep. Like I said: he never would have betrayed Dad."

"So whomever overthrew your dad presumably killed Princep and either replaced him with a freemind changeling, or Chrysalis is entering the war on Purgle's side." I shuddered. "Neither of those options are particularly appealing to me."

"I guess not," Kathyrine said.

I stood up and cracked my neck. "Alright, Celestia and Luna should be here any second, if they're not here already. If you're up to it, I think you're safe enough that we can move you to my infirmary. We'll still keep you under guard, of course, and all ponies going in or coming out will be checked to see if they are changelings. You will be safe here, I swear it."

I walked over to my door and opened it, scanning each of my guards to make sure none of them were changelings before ordering them to escort Kathyrine to the infirmary.

I guess I felt kind of glad that the pony hospital beds were just large enough for me to fit into. It kinda would have sucked if I had to just sit around and do nothing while Antares figured out what to do with Fromme and the other dukes. I guess the bed wasn't quite as comfortable as his, but I could deal. I looked over at the four pony guards keeping an eye on me. Those were the ponies I had to ensure would keep me alive if things got tough? After everything that had just happened, I really didn't like that idea. Like, at all.

"They're not gonna bite you, you know," a voice to my right said. "They'll keep you safe. Prince Antares himself hoofpicked them."

I looked to my right and saw a unicorn mare lounging around a few beds away from me. She had a truly impressive baby bump. Like, she was really showing. I rolled my eyes at her and laid back on my pillow.

"Yeah, well, I'm not in a mood to really trust guards right now, okay?" I glanced back over at her. "You're carrying quite the load there, aren't you?"

The mare giggled and rubbed her belly. "Yeah, I've got twins in here. One filly and one colt."

"Nice. You know the tribe yet?"

Her smile flickered for just a moment as she looked at some picture or something on her nightstand. "Er... well, it's kind of hard to explain. We know they're unicorns to start with, but Prince Antares has granted my fiance and I the most wonderful of gifts." She lit up her horn and floated the picture over to me. "They're also scorpions, you see."

I snatched the picture out of the air and looked at it. It turned out to be an ultrasound, and yeah, those things inside of her were definitely scorpion ponies. I just stared at them for a few seconds, not really sure how to think about the fact that there were freaking scorpions growing inside of that mare. I scratched the back of my neck and held out the photograph to her so she could take it back.

"Er... yeah, those are scorpion ponies," I said lamely, pointedly avoiding eye contact with her.

Tulip chuckled. "Yes, and they're my little blessings straight from Prince Antares. They're going to change the world."

I let out a scoff. "I couldn't disagree with that if I wanted to. You really think that the world at large is gonna be okay with those two? If Purgle was mad about the human weapons, there's no way he's gonna be okay with Antares creating a race of scorpion ponies. This is just gonna piss him off even more. And how about the rest of your 'harmonious' society? Do you really think they aren't going to be seen as freaks? They're gonna have a real tough time growing up, especially if those tails of theirs really are poisonous." I frowned and tilted my head. "Are they?"

"I don't know," the mare said, glaring at me, "but it doesn't matter to me at all. They're my foals, you got that? I've had them growing inside of me for almost eight months, and I don't really care what they look like! The doctors have said that they're perfectly healthy, and I'm going to raise them right like Prince Antares would want me to! I'm not going to let his ponies and my foals be insulted like that!"

"Okay, okay, jeez, calm down," I said, holding a claw up. "I'm sorry, okay? What's your big deal with Antares anyway? What, is he like your god, or something?"

I gotta admit, I said that as a joke. So imagine my surprise when she stuck her pony muzzle in the air and nodded. "Prince Antares came to this world and ascended to make this world better. He was destined to lead it, and he has proven to be a just and wise ruler. He will endure and reign in honor and glory long after you and I are less than dust. He has the power to split open the sky and rain hellfire on his enemies! He can control the heavens if he wants to!" The mare crosses her forelegs and gave me a smug smile like she'd just won an argument. "What do you think that makes him?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. A window washer who got really lucky and was hit by some magical necklaces?" The mare glared at me, and I raised my claws in surrender. "Fine, fine, whatever you say. I'm just not so sure about him being a god and all."

The mare huffed and plopped her head down on her pillow. "Well, he is to me. If you'd seen half of the things that I have, I don't know if you'd be so eager to dismiss the idea."

"Guess not." I looked back down at her bloated belly. "And I'm gonna guess that some magic from him led to those scorpion ponies in you. I'm still kinda nervous about what those scorpion ponies are going to do for Purgle's mood. He's not going to like them."

The mare grunted and waved a hoof at me. "Whatever. Purgle isn't going to take my foals away from me, and if he wants to..." The mare scrunched up her face and sharply inhaled, a hoof going down to her stomach. I frowned and sat up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just..." She twitched in what I totally recognized as pain. "They're really moving around in there. They've never been this active."

"Uh..." I moved to a sitting position and gave the guards an uneasy look. "Uh... it's not like, bad or anything? I mean, they are scorpions and stuff. They've got those claws and that tail."

"No, no, it's not that." The mare grunted again, and this time she flat out convulsed in pain. "We've done tests and... and their tail barbs and pincers are relatively soft when they're in the womb." She groaned and slammed down on the bed. "But yeah, okay, this totally hurts."

I turned my head to one of the guards. "Uh... can you like, get a doctor, or something? She doesn't look so hot."

The guard nodded and went off, while I turned my head back to the mare. "Okay look, you should be fine, right? I mean it's not like..."

That's when I noticed that a big wet spot had appeared by her hind legs, followed by another scream of pain from her. My eyes widened, and I grabbed my head.

"Dude, your water totally just broke."

I hate it when people strut. So much that even when things are going well for me, I make a point to not do it. Having said that, it's been roughly a year since things had been going anything remotely resembling well for me. At least with any consistency.

Celestia and Luna came to my palace with all speed once they received my letter. It turns out that our main ally in terms of stopping the war, or at least leading to minimal damage, being slaughtered and a new, more Purgle-friendly emperor being put in his place really puts a raincloud on our day. Again. I filled them in on everything that Kathyrine had told me, and they were suitably shocked. A change in the Griffonian government like that, at this time for those reasons, did not bode well for us. Especially since both Purgle and the new Emperor had Nightmare Weapons that they would not be shy in using.

White Phosphorous grenades and flamethrowers. Yeah, that's what I need to make next.

Once they were up to speed, we quickly decided that a meeting with the new emperor was in order, and he wasted no time in agreeing. About two hours after Kathyrine came into my palace, the new Griffonian emperor, ugh, strutted into my throne room surrounded by a new set of guards decked out in armor matching his clan colors. He stopped in front of my throne, where I sat with Luna and Celestia standing on either side, and inclined his head in a nod to me.

"Prince Antares. Thank you for having me in your lovely country. We have much to discuss."

My mouth creased into the slightest of frowns. "Yes, I agree. We do. Starting with your violent takeover of Griffonia and the assassination of Emperor Aepnet, and the attempted murder of his daughter." I leaned forward and my eyes narrowed. "You want to explain that to me, Fromme?"

Fromme cleared his throat. "It's Emperor Cromwell now, Prince Antares. Fromme is my clan name, but now that I am emperor, I use my real first name as a ruler."

"Fine, but I'm still not hearing you explain what happened."

"Well, it's all pragmatism, really." He shrugged. "I saw an opening to advance my clan, I had the backing of Purgle, and so I just sort of helped myself to the crown. If you've studied any history at all you'd know that's how power frequently changes claws in our nation."

"And what of the changeling?" Celestia said with a hint of venom in her voice. "You're hiring freeminds now, or has Chrysalis joined your mad scheme?"

"That is for me to know, and you to find out when it's all too late." Man, I could not stand that smug grin of his. "Official war has not been declared, and I know that Aepnet did not want to go to war alongside Purgle when you brainwashed him, or whatever, but know this, ponies: I will not hesitate to bring the might of our nation down upon you." His previously smug expression twisted into a glare. "Face it, ponies: for the first time you're on the defensive. We have the upper claws here, not you. Yes, you can raise and lower the sun, but how much can you affect the sun's orbit to hurt us without damaging your subjects too?"

"So you came here to threaten us?" Luna shook her head. "Save thy breath. Purgle hast been giving us such words since the beginning of this conflict. They mean nothing."

"Then a force of one hundred and thirty thousand griffins marching on your country will surely give my words some weight," he sneered. "Can you fight the full power of Griffonia and Minotauria on both sides, even with Mesud's help? I think not." His glare slid away, and once again his smug smile returned. "If you want to avoid this war, I'd suggest you start giving into our demands."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "No, no, don't tell me: reparations, both land and territory, for wars that happened when your great-great-great grandparents weren't even eggs yet, the right to keep the Nightmare Weapons you already have, and our acknowledging you as the rightful ruler of your nation."

I saw with some satisfaction that his smile completely deflated at that one. It seemed that I'd hit it right on the money. I clicked my tongue and looked down on him like a teacher would look down on a student who had turned in D+ work. "Okay, so any other blandly generic demands that you want to make of us?"

"You will also surrender Kathyrine to us," Cromwell said, his beak grinding. "She is a fugitive, and we wish to deal with her. You have no rights to give her asylum in your country!"

"Oooohhhh." I sucked in air through my teeth in a most condescending way and draped a foreleg over my muzzle. "Man, I wish I could help you out there, I really, really do, but..." I put my foreleg down and gave him a blank look. "No. No, that's not going to happen."

"She's just a foreign ex-princess!" Emperor Cromwell snapped. "Your subjects will have no reason to get angry with you if you give her over to us, especially if it is to help avoid a war!"

"Probably, probably," I said, tapping my jaw thoughtfully while Celestia and Luna looked at me with some confusion. "But I can say that I would catch a lot of flak for extraditing an Equestrian citizen to a hostile foreign power for no real reason."

"Kathyrine is not an Equestrian citizen!"

"Oh?" I lit my horn and the paperwork I had Kathyrine sign earlier appeared beside me. I floated it over to him so that he could read it. "Explain this, then. Because I believe that those are official royal documents saying that Kathyrine is an Equestrian citizen. I also believe that's her signature at the bottom there." Okay, maybe it is kind of nice to have a smug grin while your opponent looks on in utter bafflement. "Equestria does not extradite its citizens."

Cromwell stared at the papers with wide eyes and a dropped jaw while I smirked at him. I glanced over at Celestia, who gave me a look of "not too bad." Yes, I thought so too.

Cromwell finally scowled and tossed the papers back at me, which I easily caught with my magic. "It does not matter. Once Equestria is at my mercy I will take Kathyrine by force."

"Indeed?" Luna's eyes narrowed. "Is that it, then? Is that thy official declaration of war against our nation? Is that what Purgle hast sent you for?"

"I am not Purgle's lackey!" Cromwell snarled. "I am a powerful ruler who will lead my nation to glory, and I will not ever be subservient to another ruler, do you understand me?!"

"A truly inspiring start," I snarked. "You'd still be groveling to Aepnet and calling yourself Duke Fromme if Purgle hadn't found you that freemind changeling and backed you against the other two dukes."

"I found that freemind!" Cromwell roared. "I am acting independent of Purgle, and I do not need his help to rule my nation!"

"I see." I crossed my forelegs. "So it was just a freemind, and Chrysalis hasn't sided with you?"

Somehow his normally brown feathers went pale, and his mouth flopped up and down as he tried to think of how to respond to the fact that I'd just gotten rid of one of his trump cards. I grinned, sucked in air through my teeth, and clapped three times. "Ooh, that's a bingo!" I giggled and began rubbing my hooves together. "Ha ha, how fun!" While Cromwell's brain tried to reboot itself, I glanced over at Celestia, who gave me the tiniest of smiles and a miniscule nod. I also noted a barely noticeable note of relief in her eyes. I couldn't blame her, of course. If Purgle had the griffins and the changelings on his side, this war might be even uglier than I thought. But if they were just collecting freeminds, we could work with that.

Eventually Cromwell seemed to realize that he couldn't just stand there like a chicken in a pen when Colonel Sanders comes a callin', and he managed to put that silly glare of his back on his face. He even flared his wings out to their full, admittedly impressive length. "Now... now you listen to me," he said, breathing heavily from sheer fury. "I will not stand here and be bullied by some window washer who was slapped over the head with some bright lights shot out of some shiny necklaces."

"Your predecessor used that joke too," I said idly.

"That's enough!" he roared, slamming his fist on the floor. "You are a hair's breadth away from completely destroying any chance at peace our nations may have!"

"Peace here meaning that we give you what you want until you leave us alone," Celestia said evenly. "Well, I'm afraid that we will not be bullied, by either you or Purgle. You have no power here, so if you would--"

Celestia was cut off when the side door to my throne room burst open, and Time Keeper ran in, his face pale and sweat dripping from his forehead. He dropped into a hasty bow before running the rest of the way to my throne. I don't think he even realized who else was in the room with us.

"P-Prince Antares, y-you told me to tell you the moment it happened!" He sat down and took a few deep breaths before continuing. "Tulip's water has broken!" he wailed. "She's in labor! The scorpion ponies are coming!"

Celestia, Luna, and me dammit, Time Keeper.

My gaze immediately snapped up to Emperor Cromwell, whose jaw had pretty much hit the floor. I bit the inside of my lip and failed to keep an uncomfortable look off of my face. Time Keeper gave me a curious look, then followed my line of sight to Emperor Cromwell. He let out a little squeak and brought his hooves to his mouth, his ears pinning against his head.

I didn't really pay attention to him, though. I focused a bit more on Cromwell, who was giving me a look of absolute shock and horror. One that said that things were really about to go poorly and I didn't have a prayer of stopping them.

"Scorpion ponies," he said quietly after a moment. "You, the scorpion prince, have cross bred scorpions and ponies."

Ooh, not good. I could feel the anger radiating off of him. It wasn't an "I'm about to trash my room while my uneasy staff looks on because my wife just left me" kind of anger. It wasn't an "I think I'll just try to kill you now" kind of anger. No, I sensed more of an anger born of sheer disbelief. Like he felt so baffled that I had dared created these freaks of nature that his only possible response came out as anger, but such extreme anger that his brain needed to reboot.

"That's... that's what your human weapons are," he said, staring at me unblinking. "I thought that they might be something like an advanced crossbow, or, or, or fire that can be conjured by other tribes, but this... I never expected you to stoop so low as biological weapons. Creating a race of scorpion pony hybrids as a freak race of super-soldiers is something that I have never heard of, even from beings such as Sombra and Nightmare Moon!"

"They are not super-soldiers," I growled, getting to my hooves and fluttering my wings. "They came about when my pregnant secretary was exposed to my personal magic when I overloaded during the assassination attempt."

"A likely story!" Cromwell snarled.

"If you look at Princess Luna's bat ponies, I think that you'll find that they were created under similar circumstances. Circumstances that in no way involved her making them into an army of super-soldiers."

"The difference being that Luna did not create her ponies during a time of war, and I believe they were accidental. However, I have a hard time believing that you had no intention of creating scorpion ponies!" He stepped towards me and flared out his wings, something that made Celestia and Luna return the gesture, but me roll my eyes. "Medical experiments on your own subjects... I can't even conceive of such a thing!"

"Yes, yes, I'll bet you can't." I sighed and rubbed one of my temples. "Look, you obviously aren't going to believe me whatever I say, so I think it would be best if this meeting were adjourned for now. We're not giving you Kathyrine, we're not giving you land, and we're not going to just bow to you because you say so. So you can go tell Purgle all about this now."

"I told you before: I am not beholden to Purgle!"

I shrugged. "Then do whatever, but we have other business to attend to." I turned and nodded to one of my guards. "Make sure he gets out safely, okay?"

I began walking out of my throne room to the infirmary with Celestia and Luna following right behind me, when I heard Cromwell speak up once again. He was kind of starting to get on my nerves by that point, really.

"This isn't over, Antares!" he cried. "Our nations will be at war very soon, I can assure you! I--"

By this point I had grown completely tired of him. Maybe it was just his personality, or maybe it was the whole war thing looming overhead on top of Tulip giving birth, but when he started talking again I just kind of... snapped a little bit. Not a ton, but a little bit. The dude pretty much just declared war on us. So, I did the only thing that I could think of at that moment. I turned around to face him, extended my right wing to its fullest length, and began preening it.

Okay, so...

Any non-winged creature, or being who didn't have consistent contact with a winged creature, probably wouldn't get why that was such a big deal. There were two reasons. The first one is that preening is a private affair. It a hygienic process. It would be like if the President of the United States was meeting with the Queen of England then promptly stripped down and started taking a shower in front of her completely out in the open. Is showering important to keeping healthy and clean? Of course. Do you do it in front of other people? Nope. So there's that part of it.

The second reason does have more symbolic roots. Winged creatures use their wings as their primary form of non-verbal communication. If a winged creature wants to look threatening, he or she will spread their wings out to their full length to look bigger. If they're aroused, then wingboners become an issue. You just have to know what the different wing movements mean. So, given that preening was a process meant to clean and straighten out your feathers, to deliberately spread your wing out to its full length and begin preening in front of somebody was telling them that A. you're superior to them and B. they're dirt to you. That they're filth that you're going to spit out. So if we were both human, it would be less offensive if I flipped him the double bird.

Now that I'd officially broken the minds of everyone in the room, save for my non-pegasus guards, who just looked at me like they had no idea what was going on, I decided I'd best make my exit to check on Tulip and her foals. I did so hate to leave Celestia and Luna with the mess that I'd just made, but, well...

Heh...

I trotted out of the room, Private Blaze, Time Keeper, and Lieutenant rapids following me after a few moments. We almost reached the infirmary before Lieutenant Rapids let out a weak gurgle that I think one could mistake for clearing her throat.

"P-Prince Antares?" she croaked. "Given the context, that was simultaneously the funniest and most horrific thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Congratulations. You have officially topped yourself."

"I don't get it," Blaze said as we reached the doors of the infirmary, looking between me and Rapids. "What did he do?"

"Well basically, um..." Rapids uneasily scratched the back of her neck before leaning in and whispering in Blaze's ear. A look of dawning comprehension crossed his face, and a small grin crossed his face.

"Ooh, that's tacky," he said in a low, vaguely amused voice.

"And you'd better believe I'm going to hear it from Celestia and Luna," I grumbled. "I dunno, I guess I just kind of lost my temper when he just up and declared war on us like that. That, and he comes over here demanding we hoof over Kathyrine, calls the scorpiponies weapons of war and accuses me of creating them on purpose for that reason, and just generally acts like he owns the place. This is all right after he destroys our only means for peace with his country by murdering Aepnet and showing that he's willing to hire freemind changelings." I grimaced. "Yes, he irritated me a little bit."

"Inexcusable!" somepony roared. A very familiar blueberry, lest my ears deceived me. I turned and saw Celestia and Luna walking towards me, Celestia looking tired, while Luna's hoofsteps would require floor repairs, I think.

"Your actions will have far reaching consequences, Antares!" Luna screeched as she came to a halt in front of me. "Do you not see the mistake in your behavior?"

"Of course I do," I said, holding up a placating hoof, "and I'm sure he's really, really angry about it, but let's be honest: he came in here fully intending to declare war. I only did it after he did so."

"Perhaps," Celestia said, her voice sounding exhausted. "But you know as well as I that this does not bode well. He will be more aggressive now in his tactics. You provoked him more than once in that meeting."

"And I got some pretty invaluable intel out of that," I countered. "Admit it: it's good to know that he's using freeminds instead of having Chrysalis on his side. We also learned that he might be crafty and power hungry, but at the end of the day, he's controlled by Purgle. He won't actually go to war unless Purgle says so. He only took the crown because he knew he'd get backed up by the minotaurs. He's proud and self-absorbed. He likes to think that no one is stronger than he is." I shrugged. "Sounds to me like he has quite a few weaknesses we can exploit."

"I see your reasoning, but he is not the sole commanding force behind the Griffonian army," Celestia replied. "They have many brilliant commanders who will make life difficult in the coming days."

"Maybe so." I turned away from Celestia to the door of the infirmary. "But this moment isn't the right one to talk about that. A whole new pony tribe is being born, mares and gentlecolts. The next however many hours are going to be really difficult on Tulip as she pushes potentially venomous scorpion ponies out. Who knows what could go wrong? Who knows what kind of pain that she's--"

The door to the infirmary before me opened up, and a doctor in scrubs trotted out, inclining his head in a bow. "Prince Antares, the foals have been delivered without incident. Given the nature of the foals, we decided a Cesarian would be best. They're resting with their mother now."

"Er..." I flattened my ears as the bravado and drama quickly drained from the situation, and I became acutely aware that Blaze and Rapids were giggling behind me. I cleared my throat and straightened up to my full height, trying to regain a touch of dignity. "Very well. Show me to them."

"At once."

Celestia, Luna, and I followed the doctor into the room, while Blaze and Rapids stood guard outside with Time Keeper. They'd certainly get their opportunities to see the scorpion foals. Right then, though, we didn't need to crowd the new family.

As we walked towards Tulip's bed, I saw Kathyrine reclining on the one I'd given her. She looked up at me with a look that said she'd been given a rather nasty shock recently. I stopped in front of her.

"I guess you know what just happened, then?"

Kathyrine nodded dumbly. "Yeah, uh..." She closed her eyes and tousled her head feathers. "It was pretty trippy. We're just talking about the scorpion ponies growing inside of her, then her water breaks and she just starts going into labor and stuff. They rushed her away and just started cutting her open. I had to be there and hold her hoof while they dragged two... somethings out of her. Not what I imagined my day would be like."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I'll bet not. You can take a nap. It's all over now."

"Yeah..." She laid her head back down on her pillows. "Yeah, I guess."

With Kathyrine settled, the three of us alicorns walked down to the end of the hall where a large privacy curtain had been put up around the bed. Valiant poked his head out of it when he heard us approach, and he gave me a weak smile. Still, it was one of the happiest ones I've ever seen on a pony.

"They're resting now, but Tulip's awake. She's been asking for you."

I snorted and shook my head. "Yeah, I'll bet." I looked back at Celestia and Luna, and the two of them nodded at me. I nodded back, causing them to walk back over to where Kathyrine lay. I guess they would want to question her a bit as well. With that settled, I took a deep breath and walked past the privacy curtain to look at the new race of ponies my magic had created.

The first thing that struck me was that they were...

...

...

Adorable.

I mean, seriously. I didn't know what to expect from the ultrasound and all, but they looked like typical baby unicorns. Well, except for the pincer forehooves, slightly curved horn, and the tail, which actually seemed to work with them. The colt was a sort of yellowish white color, with a mane the same color as his coat, while the filly's coat was more of a blue hue with a mess of yellow mane on her head. I sat down next to the bed, where Tulip lay curled up with bandages around her barrel. She was sleeping, and had her forelegs around her new foals, who were also asleep. They just seemed so peaceful. Something that I really, really missed. I noticed that their tails looked just like scorpion tails. Hardened exoskeleton typical of scorpions. I inwardly sighed as I realized just how much these ponies were going to be poked and prodded not just to make sure they were healthy, but to find out what they were.

Then I noticed the stinger. Yup, they had one of those too. At the very tip of their tails, the a small, sharp looking stinger protruded. I had no doubt that they could use it if they wanted to. I looked back at Valiant, who must have guessed what I was looking at.

"Yeah, I'm not sure if my son and daughter are poisonous either. The docs said that they're gonna run some tests, or something to make sure they're not really dangerous, but the very tip of the stinger looks like it's retractable." He shrugged and sat down in a chair next to me. "Not sure what to do if they are venomous ponies."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," I muttered, still staring at the foals. "Right now, we just need to make sure that they're healthy."

It was at that moment that Tulip's eyes slowly fluttered open. She let out a long, groggy yawn and adjusted her grip on her foals.

"Hello, Prince Antares," she muttered. I could guess that she was still a touch loopy from the drugs needed for the C-section. "Come to see my beautiful babies?"

I smiled at her and put one of my hooves on her own. "Yes, and I must say, they are amazing. They will be great ponies, Tulip."

"Mhm." Tulip gently nuzzled the filly, who squirmed a bit in her grasp. "This one's Veritas. It means 'truthfulness' where I come from." She reached out with the hoof I wasn't touching and patted the colt on the head. "His name is Ara. It means 'noble.'"

"Wonderful names," I said with an approving nod. "I look forward to seeing what kind of ponies they become."

Then it happened.

The two foals began stirring at the same time, and I began to worry if we'd hear just what it sounded like when newborn scorpiponies began crying. That would kind of kill the moment. But they didn't. They just woke up and garbled in baby talk while nuzzling up to their mother. Tulip giggled and hugged them both as tightly as her aching body would allow.

"Veritas, Ara..." She pointed to me. "Do you see who's in the room with us? It's Prince Antares. The stallion whose magic made you into such wonderful ponies."

The foals curiously followed their mother's hoof to see where she pointed, and they turned their heads until their eyes landed on me. Slitted eyes with red pupils.

Okay, that was a little unnerving, but they were scorpions, I guess.

The moment Veritas and Ara saw me, their jaws dropped, revealing that they had canines, and they stared at me, completely unblinking. It felt to me like... like they could just kind of sense that we had some sort of innate connection, or that I was special to them, but they couldn't quite figure out why. And... yeah, I felt some sort of bizarre connection to them, as well. I mean, these two were potentially the beginnings of an entirely new tribe of ponies that were created because of my magic. I'm the scorpion prince, and these are scorpion ponies. To be honest, I had no idea how to react to that kind of thing. I'd seen and done some mind blowing things in my time as a ruler, but this... this was new territory. Heck, it had only happened once before in pony history. Luna and I had a lot to talk about, it seemed.

Scorpion ponies.

Scorpiponies.

In some ways, they were truly my little ponies.

...

...

Heh.

Well, as I'm sure one could guess, the media went berserk. Like, I don't think they would have gone so crazy if they actually had found out that Celestia and I were in a relationship. I don't think the impending war got as much coverage. Who cares that death and carnage and suffering is 99% likely to happen in the very near future? Scorpion ponies have just been born!

Way to sort out your priorities, newspapers of Equestria.

Well, I couldn't really say that Earth newspapers are any better.

I had to have a full press day with newspapers from all over the world in which I answered just about every question I could think of, and several I had no idea why they would ask, for hours on end. They all wanted to know if they were actually poisonous like real scorpions were, to which I answered that we didn't know.

Which, strictly speaking, was a lie. We knew. Two weeks after their birth we ran tests, and found out that they had little venom sacs in those tails of theirs. We did a little test on the venom and yes, they were quite poisonous. Not enough to down an ursa, or anything like that, but if you got on the wrong end of one of their stingers, it'd totally ruin your day.

Or end it. I didn't know. We hadn't really had the heart to test it on a life form.

They wanted pictures, they wanted to know why and how, they wanted to know if they were feral (they weren't) and so on. I'm just glad that Valiant and Tulip didn't need to get involved. I gladly took the brunt of the media storm for them. They were going to get the madness eventually, but for now, Tulip and her foals could rest.

I stress 'for now.'

After about two months, the hullabaloo died down a bit, which was just fine by me. Tulip had recovered enough that the foals and recently married parents could move into the apartment I'd set aside for them, and we could get back to trying to figure out the best way to fight an upcoming war.

You know, on second thought? I'd actually prefer scorpipony madness to a war. Much less chaotic.

Or so I thought.

We hadn't heard anything from Cromwell, so I started to think that the 'preening incident' might be salvageable. I needed to work hard to make that happen, but I could do it. I didn't think that I could prevent the war entirely, but the more I could do to postpone it, the better. The longer I postponed it, the more prepared I'd be. I'd successfully expanded past napalm in terms of human weaponry, after all.

But that all came crashing down when Time Keeper burst into my throne room as I was doing some paperwork while waiting for Tulip and her family to come visit me. He looked scared. I mean, really, really scared. I shot to my hooves and ran over to meet him, ignoring his bow.

"What? What is it?"

"Minotaurs, your highness!" Time Keeper cried, springing to his hooves. "N-not an invading army, but the two leaders! They're entering through the Griffonian side of the border!"

Oh dear.

"Contact Princess Celestia at once," I said, running towards an exit to my palace. "If it's just Bludworth and Purgle, then they just want to talk, which is good. If they're coming from the griffin side of the border on a surprise visit, that might not be so good. Get the soldiers deployed and in defensive positions once you've contacted Celestia!"

Minotaurs. Just what I needed. I'd bet my crown that if they were coming from the griffin side of the border, Purgle had been having some interesting conversations with Cromwell. I doubted he'd understand the finer nuances of preening based insults, but he'd get the idea. If Purgle did truly have Cromwell on a leash by virtue of being the one who was keeping him in power, then he'd probably be calming him down, which bought us a little time. Time we desperately needed.

I ran outside of my palace where my soldiers were already running in the direction of the border to take up defensive positions. I stood beside them and looked out into the horizon, waiting.

After twenty minutes, it became clear that the intel I had received was quite correct. Ten minotaurs marched to our position, four of them carrying Purgle's golden palanquin. They were surrounded by my border guards, who were keeping an uneasy eye on them. However, if what I was seeing was right, they were unarmed and unarmored. All of them. Even Bludworth.

Odd.

After another five minutes, the group reached us, and the minotaurs carrying Purgle stopped. One of my guards stepped forward and bowed to me.

"We found them attempting to cross into our nation. Our scans show that they have no weapons on them of any kind."

I frowned and looked over to Purgle, who was giving me a smug grin, like he'd just done something cool. "I merely wish to speak to you, Antares. Nothing more. I feel that it would be more comfortably done in your palace, am I correct? Or would you let a foreign delegation sit out here exposed to the weather?"

I grimaced, but if they were truly unarmed then I didn't see a need to not let at least Purgle and Bludworth in. I could easily take them both on if need be, especially surrounded by my guards. They knew that, so there was no reason to think that this was a trap on their part. I inclined my head in a small nod, and we all went back to my palace. Once there, Purgle stepped off of his palanquin, and I led him into my throne room, flanked by ten of my guards.

Hey, doesn't hurt to be too careful.

Once we were inside, I sat down on my throne, while Purgle and Bludworth bowed to me. I had to hope that Celesta and maybe Luna would get here soon, but if not, I could handle them until they arrived.

"So, you have something you want to talk about?" I said.

Purgle nodded. "Indeed I do. You see, I have heard tell over the past two months that you have bred a new tribe of ponies into existence. Scorpion ponies. I wish to see them."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I'm afraid that I can't do that. If I'm not going to let the press in to see them, I'm not sure why I'd let you."

"Because we're on the brink of war, and I need to confirm that these ponies are not, as Cromwell suspects, biological weapons."

"Well they're not," I said stiffly. "I magically overloaded during the assassination attempt, and my pregnant secretary happened to be nearby. I would have to have amazing foresight to see that coming."

"Indeed, but you must agree that from our perspective, a race of scorpion ponies is cause for alarm," Purgle countered. "I swear on my crown that I am not here to hurt them, however they act. I merely wish to see them. You know that I am unarmed."

"But you're strong enough that you could probably kill them both in a surprise attack if you got close enough and felt like it," I retorted. "Unarmed does not mean helpless when it comes to you. I know that."

Purgle smirked and let out an amused snort. "You flatter me, Antares. Regardless, I'm not here to hurt them in the slightest. I merely wish to see what a scorpion pony looks like. No pictures have been made available."

"Yeah, because I want to give the new family a little privacy, yeah? Is that so hard to grasp?" I shook my head and stood up. "No, I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to see the scorpiponies today. I'm sure there will come a time, but be reasonable here: they're barely two months old, and their mother is just starting to get back on their hooves. This isn't anything personal..." For the most part. "I haven't let anypony in to see them."

Purgle stared at me for a moment, and from the way he tightened his jaw, I could tell that he didn't quite like my verdict, but, being in my palace and in my country, he couldn't really contest it. Nor would he be dumb enough to try. Finally he tilted his head in a nod.

"Very well. I suppose I can respect the idea of newborns and their mother getting rest after the taxing event of birth. We will come back another time, if you wish."

I grunted noncommittally. Truth be told, I didn't want them back in my country ever again, but this whole scorpipony thing wasn't going to stay contained forever. Still, I'd keep it controlled as long as I could.

Purgle and Bludworth followed me out of my throne room, and into the hallway, none of us saying anything. I really wanted them out of Baltimare as soon as possible. To have them just barge in here and call my ponies "biological weapons?" Yeah, that wasn't going to score any points with me. But as long as I could get him out of my palace and country, I could start getting things under control again.

But why would that happen?

We turned a corner on our way to the front entrance, and we almost ran into another group coming around the other way. Thankfully we avoided a large collision, but my heart sank once I saw who had come the other way: Tulip, Valiant, and the scorpipony foals.

Merde.

"Uh..." Tulip's gaze flickered between me and the minotaurs. "W-we didn't didn't expect to run into you with dignitaries, Prince Antares. W-we were just coming to see you like we talked about yesterday now that Mommy is feeling up to it."

Right...

Riiiight. Dang it, of all the times for me to forget a meeting with Tulip, it had to be now. That's right. They had planned a meeting with me to show their foals the throne room.

"Yes, of course." I cleared my throat and glanced over at Purgle and Bludworth, both of whom were staring at the foals. "Well, it might be best to come back another time, yeah? Maybe in a few hours."

"Nonsense, Antares," Purgle said, taking a few steps towards the family. Valiant tensed up, and glared at Purgle as he moved in front of his wife. Purgle stopped moving and raised his hand. "I wish you and your family no harm. I merely want to see the foals with my own eyes. That is all, I swear. I will not lay a finger on them."

"Why should I believe you?" Valiant growled. "You want to go to war with us! Why should I believe for a moment that you care about the safety of my son and daughter?"

"A fair point, but you forget that I am in your capital, under the watchful eyes of Prince Antares," Purgle responded. "I could not hurt them if I wanted to."

"I don't think any of this is a good idea," I said, stepping forward to diffuse the situation. "You four can go. I'll talk to you once I've finished up with Purgle, okay?"

Valiant nodded, and he gently nudged his wife, who turned around and began walking out of the room. Valiant turned and did the same, and that's when Purgle saw his chance, I suppose. He now had a clear view of Ara, who was on Valiant's back. Seeing his opportunity, he rushed up to Ara to get a closer look.

Several things happened in the span of about five seconds, none of which were any good at all.

Hearing Purgle approaching, Valiant stopped, just as Ara moved on his back. The conflicting movements caused Ara to slip off of his father's back. I ignited my horn and caught the foal an inch before he hit the ground, sparing him any potential damage.

Unfortunately, this turn of events, coupled with sensing that his father was uneasy, didn't sit well with Ara in the slightest. He let out a little cry and began gnashing his teeth and squirming in my magical grasp. I put him back on his father's back, which calmed him down a little bit. Unfortunately, neither of us noticed that Purgle had gotten closer again, given that we were so focused on Ara.

Ara, however, was looking for someone to blame for him falling. I wasn't to blame. I had that connection to him. His father wasn't to blame either because he was his father. That scary looking monster thing that was coming closer? Yes, he would do nicely. Ara glared at Purgle and stood up on his father's back, tail at the ready.

Bludworth, Purgle, and myself all noticed at once that Ara had his tail ready, but only I had an idea of what that thing was capable of. I couldn't stop it as Ara extended the tip of his stinger and swung his tail right at Purgle. He was just close enough that it would hit.

Bludworth got there faster.

He pushed Purgle out of the way of the swinging tail a half second before it connected, but, that didn't mean that Ara's tail didn't find a target. It did. When Ara's tail came to a stop, I realized that the barb was embedded completely in Bludworth's arm. Knowing how thick minotaur skin is, that barb was both sharp, and Ara likely had a lot of power in that swing to do that.

Bludworth fell to the ground with a cry of pain, no, agony as the stinger slid out of his arm. Valiant gasped and took Ara off of his back, sitting on the floor and clutching him close. Purgle ran over to Bludworth, who was grabbing at his swelling arm and thrashing in pain. He stared at his high general for a moment before turning his head to me, a look of pure fury in his eyes the likes of which I had never seen.

I had never seen it, but I could sure as heck recognize it. The fires of war were in his eyes.

"This is what you have created, Antares," he spat. He pointed down to Bludworth. "This is what you want to subject my soldiers to? I have seen this minotaur stabbed, and he did not react this way."

"I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear!" I said with desperation in my voice. "Let me help you get him to my medics! We've been working on the antivenin!"

"No!" Purgle snarled. "They'd probably speed his death! I'm going to get him back to Griffonia. You'd better pray that he makes it, or there will be Tartarus to pay for your kind the likes of which you have never imagined!"

Purgle reached down and threw Bludworth's good arm over his shoulders, helping him to his hooves. Bludworth had stopped screaming and had moved on to twitching and violently brushing his body as if he was trying to get rid of insects crawling all over it.

Once again, I froze. I didn't know what I was supposed to do here. As the two left my palace, I turned around to face Tulip and Valiant, both of whom were clutching their foals tight to their chests. My eyes landed on Ara, who was contentedly nuzzling up against his father.

If the media circus of their birth was bad, the knowledge that they were highly venomous was even worse. I turned away all reporters in the two weeks after the incident. I kept Valiant, Tulip, and their foals in their interior apartment under heavy guard at all times. I know it sucked for them, but it was safer.

Celestia and Luna didn't know what to do either. Again, we didn't know much about scorpipony venom, though we did manage to get that antivenin successfully made. We didn't know if Bludworth would survive, and if he did, what condition he would be in.

We had our answer soon enough.

Two weeks after the incident, Celestia, Luna, and I were sitting in one of my conference rooms, quietly talking about how we had heard nothing from either Griffonia or Minotauria about Bludworth. Even the Blade Wings had discovered nothing. A knock on my door interrupted our conversation. I opened it with my magic, and one of my servants wordlessly hoofed me a letter, bowed, and left.

Somehow I knew what it was, even before I opened it. I still had to, though. No sense in ignoring it.

I sighed and broke the seal. I unfurled the scroll and laid it flat on the table for all of us to read.

To the Equestrian monarchy,

Last night, High General Bludworth died of the wounds sustained from Antares' abominations against nature. I know he wished for peace, but he was a fool. If this is what you do with your magic when you are not watched, then we have no choice.

The alliance of the Kingdom of Minotauria and the Empire of Griffonia do hereby officially declare war on the state of Equestria.

Signed,
King Purgle and Emperor Cromwell.

Author's Notes:

Tulip provides an awesome look at the brand new tribe! Ara on the left, Veritas on the right.

Stay tuned for the sequel, as well as TD (in his Antares form) vs Equestria Girls.

Non-Canon Season 4 Episode 1 Bonus Chapter

Note: Do not read unless you have seen the new episodes!

The Summer Sun Celebration is here, and for all of the ponies of Equestria what a treat it will be.

Celestia and Luna have volun-told me that I should help out this year with the celebration by going around Equestria and double-checking the progress of the individual celebrations before going back to help them raise and lower the sun and moon. Supposedly Celestia is actually looking forward to this one because now it marks the anniversary of Luna's return. She seems happy about that.

Yuck. Can't I just go to another school play? They're not as painful to go through and better acted.

I jest, of course... mostly.

I sighed and put down the checklist that Twilight had made for me. One of a six part set. Each town and city has their own specifications for what the SSC is going to look like, so I had my work cut out for me. By the way, did you know that Twilight and Celestia adjusted the "Spike flame fax-machine fire breath" spell so that if Twilight wanted to send me letters via Spike she could? They neglected to tell me about this, of course, because I assume they thought the other way would be funnier. So imagine my surprise when a novella's worth of checklists and instructions randomly pops up out of nowhere right as I'm having breakfast.

And no, I did not scream like a little girl as it fell into my cereal, splashing it all over me. I don't care what Captain Blaze has been telling you. It's all lies!

I sighed as I went through the Baltimare checklist. Seeing as how I'm the princess here, the style is based off of me. The color scheme is my coat and mane, and my cutie mark is just about everywhere. Heck, there are even some Princess Antares cutie mark cakes that are going to be served in several places throughout Baltimare. It's really quite charming, watching a bunch of your subjects eat a cake of a tattoo on your rear, but, you know, craziness in ponies is not limited to Ponyville. At all.

Decorations all up? Check. Looked over Mayor Chilton's speech to make sure it was okay? Check. It was all "Princess Antares is best princess despite the fact that she's not raising the sun today," but eh... whatever. Food looks good? Check. Snarcasti-guards plus reserves out to keep order? Check.

I scanned the list to see if all of the other little odds and ends are settled. They should be. Otherwise I'd probably have a few dozen freaked out ponies begging me to fix all of their problems because these issues go up the ladder. Commoners shift duties to the local government, the local government shifts duties to the princesses, the princesses shift duties onto the Elements of Harmony, the Elements of Harmony shift smaller duties back to the commoners, and so on. Overall, though, everything looked okay, which is a sure sign that something is about to go horribly wrong.

I took a deep breath and used my magic to teleport my checklist to my room where I would have to look over it later. Six more times, if Twilight had anything to say about it. She was technically still my consigliore. Yes, we did move on to making that title official. She may be living in Ponyville, but she's always available to give me advice on anything I need.

I shook my head and began walking down the hallway of my palace. It was relatively empty given that most of my guard was out making preparations for the celebration, so I had some time to myself. I decided to take my evening stroll around my palace to make sure that everything was okay. Princess Celestia should be about to lower the sun to make room for the moon, so I could look forward to sleep in a few hours. Given the position of the sun, it was about eight at night, so Celestia should be lowering the sun any minute.

It was right then that the clock in my palace went off.

Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun.

Yep, eight 'o clock.

Dun. Dun

... uh... or ten 'o clock?

I frowned and looked outside the nearest window. The sun was still shining brightly in the sky, which was weird because, you know, it was ten at night.

It was right then that I found out that there are times that it isn't worth it being a nearly all-powerful princess. The moon was still in the sky, leaving half of the landscape shrouded in darkness while the other half was brightly lit. I'm not quite sure how the science works with that, but hey, I'm not Celestia or Luna... I hope.

I frowned and looked down at the city below. I flattened my ears and grimaced when I saw that a flock of ponies, or a string. Whichever works.

Yeah, a group of ponies is called a string. Who knew?

Anyway, the ponies were stringing towards my castle in a panic. My guard was doing their best to keep them away from the palace entrance, but I could see looks of worry on their faces too. I bit my lip and glanced over at the double glass doors leading out to the balcony where I often made public speeches. Now seemed like a good time, but I had no idea of what to say. Of course, that's never stopped a politician before, I suppose. They needed to hear something, or else I might have an even bigger panic on my hooves. I sighed and walked out onto the balcony.

Instantly I heard a symphony of shouts from the string of ponies below me, all wondering what the heck was going on. I couldn't make out individual questions that well, but I got the gist. I raised my hoof, and a hush fell over the string crowd.

"Citizens of Baltimare. I know that this whole thing with the sun and moon being in the sky at the same time is a little unnerving to you, but trust me when I say that everything is under control, and I am in constant contact with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

Pinocchio, meet your rival.

"I promise you that you are in no danger. Go back to your homes and prepare for the Celebration, or try to get some sleep. Everything will be resolved promptly."

I looked down at the line of snarcasti-guards and made eye contact with Captain Blaze who was directing the guards on the best way to keep the ponies at bay. He looked up at me and the two of us made eye contact. I subtly inclined my head to tell him to come inside, and he nodded. He leaned over to talk to Lieutenant Rapids, who began following him inside the castle after she presumably handed control over to one of the sergeants.

Ah yes, I remember that sergeant. He was the one who said "man, you guys just got owned" when I demonstrated the snarcasti-guard's effectiveness.

Anyway, I quickly went back inside the palace and trotted down to my throne room where my two officers were there waiting for me. They inclined their heads in small bows, but I waved those aside. "No time for that. We have to figure out what's going on."

"So you don't know what's happening with the sun and moon?" Captain Blaze asked.

"Of course not! This isn't some Summer Sun Celebration thing that Celestia and Luna are pulling, which means that something must have happened to them." I grimaced and began pacing back and forth. "If that's true, then I'm the sole ruler of all of Equestria." I screeched to a halt as the implications of that hit me. My eye and ear twitched as my brain began firing on all cylinders to cope with what that would look like, but I pushed those thoughts aside and began pacing again. "Firstly I think we need to contact Shining Armor and Night Stalker. Raining Skies and the Elements wouldn't hurt either."

Captain Blaze nodded. "I'll get messengers on that right away."

I returned his nod. "Good. You get to work on contacting the captains, and I'll go to Ponyville to see if I can't talk to the Elements. Use the messenger spell to contact me the second you hear anything, okay?"

My officers saluted, and I ignited my horn. It was quicker to teleport hop to Ponyville rather than just fly the whole way. Of course, some flying would be necessary since I couldn't do that the whole way, but it would save me precious time. I popped out of the throne room and reappeared about a mile outside of Baltimare. Another teleport and I was halfway between the two cities. A third found me about twenty miles from Ponyville, but I had drained enough of my magic that I needed to fly the rest of the way. I spread my wings and took to the skies.

I saw Ponyville in the distance, and I didn't need any special powers to know that something was wrong. The Everfree Forest, normally ominous, but controlled, seemed to be spreading, and I saw thick black and thorn studded vines spreading throughout the town.

Great. Because that's what I needed to deal with today. Black evil vines. Charming.

I landed in the Ponyville town square and was instantly rushed by several dozen ponies, all of whom were asking me questions at the same time. I raised my hoof. "Okay, quiet down! I'm here to help out."

"But what's happening?" Lyra asked. "Why is the Everfree Forest doing this?!"

I shrugged. "You know, I don't have the next clue, so I'm here to talk to the Elements to see if we can't figure something out together."

"But the clouds!" Roseluck wailed. "What's happening with the clouds?"

I frowned and looked up into the sky. Sure enough, instead of the normal white fluffy clouds, there was now a collection of dark gray clouds, also riddled with spikes.

"Huh... that's new." I shrugged and looked back to the crowd. "I have no idea what's going on, but rest assured I will not rest until I've figured it out." I looked in the direction of Twilight's house. "And I think I might have an idea."

I took wing again and flew in the direction of the library. The black vines were spreading now, and, to my horror, they all seemed to be gravitating towards me. A vine as thick as my horn shot towards me, and I barely dodged it time to avoid whatever nefarious plan it had for me. I only had a moment to rest before two more vines, both larger than the last, came towards me. I shot a spell out of my horn that blasted one of them back and dodged the other.

I started to get a good idea of what had happened to Celestia and Luna. If these vines were what took them, then they seemed to be targeting alicorns. How these vines got all the way to Canterlot to take them without anybody noticing, I don't know, but I wasn't too willing to expend a lot of brainpower to puzzle it out.

I reached the library and flew straight through one of the windows without opening it first. If I wasn't an alicorn resilient to most everything I would have found myself with a lot of cuts, but I was an alicorn, so I was fine. I crash landed right in the middle of the main room, sending books flying everywhere.

"Rainbow Dash! How many times have I told you not to... oh... TD?"

I raised my head and looked over at Twilight. Rainbow Dash was flying behind her, giving Twilight a slight glare. To my delight, the rest of the six seemed to be there too. I shot to my hooves and stretched my wings. "Twilight, I need you to put up a forcefield around the library. Those weeds are nasty."

"No kiddin'!" said Applejack. "They just appeared on mah farm and mah family and Ah have been pullin' at 'em fer the past half hour, but they don't budge!"

"We'll need to have a talk about the definition of insanity later, Applejack." I turned to the window and repaired it. "Right now we need to figure out what to do." I turned back to Twilight who had just powered down her horn after the shield spell. Good. That should keep us relatively safe unless the weeds break through floors. "Okay, so these things seem to be targeting alicorns. I'm not sure what happened to Celestia or Luna, but the sun and moon combined with these vines makes me think that something happened to them."

As if on cue, the inside of my ear started feeling really itchy. I reached a hoof up to it and began scratching it, but that seemed to only make it worse. In fact, it felt like there was something coming out of... oh. Right. That.

I sighed and ignited my horn. I focused my magic on my ear and pulled an entire scroll out of it. The ponies around me made various noises ranging from grunts of disgust to ones of curiosity. I grimaced and looked up at them. "I found a spell that allows my guard to send me letters instantly. It..." I shook my head and looked down at the parchment. "It needs some work."

I scanned the letter and my eyes widened. Not good. It was roughly what I suspected, but not what I had been hoping for. I looked up at the others with a grimace. "Captain Blaze just contacted me. He said that he talked to Night Stalker. Apparently Celestia and Luna are missing. Nobody knows where they are."

The gathered ponies gasped, and I looked out the window where the vines were banging on the shield. "Given how these vines have taken a keen interest in me, I'm going to have to guess that they took Celestia and Luna."

"How do we stop 'em, TD?" Applejack asked. She looked between me and Twilight. "We've been lookin' fer hours fer a book that has anything like this in 'em, and we can't find anythin'!"

I frowned and tapped my lower jaw. "I don't know, but..." My gaze flickered up to Fluttershy. "I might have an idea." I looked over to Twilight. "You said that the Elements can summon Discord, right?"

Twilight frowned and nodded. "Yeah, but that would..." Her eyes widened when she figured what I was getting at. She nodded and ran over to the case housing the Elements of Harmony, and she opened it up. "It makes perfect sense that Discord is behind all of this! This looks a lot like what happened when he took over before we banished him to stone!"

I nodded as Twilight gave each of the ponies their elements. In truth I was a little nervous to actually meet Discord. I had been sure to avoid him whenever possible. I could have been wrong, but I just didn't think that him and I would have gotten along very well, especially with my new form. Well, I had to meet him at some point, right? Celestia had told him that my palace was off limits, so he had been spending most of his time between Ponyville and Celestia's palace. Him being at Celestia's palace would explain how the vines were able to get there in the first place.

Twilight and I exchanged a glance and I nodded. She nodded in return and ignited the Element of Magic. The light around it began shining brighter, and each of the ponies floated into the air. A rainbow beam connected their elements, and it began charging with more power as it focused on Twilight's element. The room was bathed in blinding white light, and I had to shield my eyes. With one more burst, I heard something pop into existence, and when the light faded, I heard... the shower?

I opened my eyes, and there he was. Discord himself was standing in a shower washing himself off and... singing?

"Winter wrap up, winter wrap u..." Discord turned his head and saw that he wasn't wherever he was anymore, and turned around with a large grin on his face. "Ohoo, now Twilight, you know that Princess Celestia told you to give me a heads-up before you summoned me with that little spell she gave you." He opened his mouth to say more, but out of the corner of his eye he saw me looking warily at him. I'm not sure how, but his grin grew wider and he popped out of existence. When he reappeared a second later, he was floating upside-down in front of me.

Goodie.

"Why, you must be the new princess! It is an absolute delight to meet you." Discord grabbed my hoof and began shaking it vigorously. "I know we haven't met, so let me introduce myself. My name is Princess Antares. I'm the local princess of foal services, snark and sarcasm, pastries--"

I growled and pulled my hoof out of his grasp. "I know who you are, Discord."

Discord clapped his paw and claw together. "Ooh, it's so nice to know that I've made my mark on the world, Princess." His smile turned mischievous and he threw an arm around my shoulder. Of course, said arm wasn't attached to his body. "Or should I say, TD Harrison Powell?" Discord laughed and ruffled my mane before re-attaching his arm.

"So you know who I am. Big deal; the whole of Equestria knows."

Discord laughed again and clapped me on the back. "Oh come now, you mustn't be so serious all the time, princess. I mean, what's the point of employing snarcasm if you are?" I opened my mouth to speak again, but he cut me off. "I must say, your new form is quite something." He grabbed one of my wings and spread it out. "Have you gotten used to these yet? Discovered all of the ins and outs of them? Found out all of the little inconveniences?" Discord snapped his fingers and a picture materialized. My eyes widened when I saw what it was: two scantily clad human females playing in the water of a beach. I felt my wings ruffle.

Crap.

With a ping, my wings spread out to their full length. To make matters worse, upon another glance I noticed that the picture was just slight variations of a female version of my human form. I glared at Discord and used my magic to disintegrate the picture. "Enough games, okay? We've actually had something really bad happen that we need your help with."

"Does it have anything to do with those vines outside?"

Discord snapped his claws and we all reappeared outside of the library. The vines immediately went for me, but Twilight put another shield spell around us.

Discord chuckled and patted one of the vines. "I take it you're going to blame me for this whole thing? Say that if I don't fix it you'll turn me back to stone?"

"Fix this right now!" Twilight growled. "We know you're behind all of this?"

Discord gasped in mock indignation and did a back flip in the air. "Well who ever said that I'm behind all of this, hmm?" Discord snapped his claws and I found myself with a royal cape and holding a golden scepter with a golden head as the top. My head. "Maybe it was your precious new princess. I've heard that some of those magical overloads when royalty is trying to get a grasp of their new powers can be devastating." Discord vanished and reappeared sitting on my back like he was riding me. "What about it, Antares? You ever consider that all of this is your fault?"

I growled and threw him off of my back. "I haven't magically overloaded since I ascended. Even if I had, this isn't the kind of thing I could accomplish! I'm not strong enough to make Celestia and Luna just disappear."

This time Discord's gasp was not of mock indignation, but rather one of somebody who had just been told that Christmas was coming early. "You lost Celestia and Luna?" Discord instantly broke out into rambunctious laughter. He was clutching his stomach as if he was in pain from laughing so hard. "Oh... oh this is too rich!" he crowed. "I've heard of ponies putting their hats down and forgetting where they left them, but for you to lose the ponies that raise the sun and the moon like that? Too priceless! I hope that such a thing isn't common under your rule, Antares."

I glared at him and tossed the scepter and cape aside. "Look, are you going to help us find them or not?"

"Help us find them?!" Rainbow Dash flew into the air until she was face-to-face with Discord. "I'll bet he's behind the whole thing!"

"Well if he is behind it, he still needs to help us fix it." I glared at Discord. "Does this look like anything you've encountered?"

Discord scoffed and crossed his arms. "Well after the hoof pointing, I'm not too sure that I really want to help you girls at all." Discord flew up to a nearby house and landed on the roof. "I thought that you would all realize that I couldn't be behind this. I am reformed, after all."

Twilight growled in annoyance, and Discord made two knitting needles appear, which he used to begin knitting the vines. "Why don't you ask your zebra friend if she knows anything?"

Hmm. There was something in his tone when he said zebra, but I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was exactly. Whatever. He had used the vines and knitting needles to knit a sign that pointed to the Everfree Forest. I looked to where he was pointing and saw none other than Zecora walking out of it. She seemed to be carrying the entire contents of her home out of the forest. The Mane Six rushed over to her, I was still behind the shield, and Twilight used her magic to take Zecora's load off of her back. Zecora collapsed on the ground with a groan.

"From my home, I've had to flee. The forest has grown too wild even for me."

Now, I had only met Zecora once or twice since I had come to Equestria. It wasn't because I was avoiding her, it was just that we had never really run into each other. Still, we had interacted enough that I was fully aware of her couplet speech. I was still trying to decide if I was annoyed by it or not. Still, she was very gifted at rhyming.

"Do you have any idea why this is happenin'?" Applejack asked as one of the vines took her hat.

"It is a mystery to me as well, but..." Zecora smiled and trotted over to her wagon. "I may have something that if combined with a spell..." Zecora took an ornate vial filled with some kind of purple liquid out of her wagon. She set it down in front of me. "I do not dare to use it myself. The results would be tragic." She looked over to me with a grim look. "It only responds to alicorn magic."

I frowned and looked down at the vial. "That's... a bizarrely specific and random thing for you to have, Zecora." I raised my eyebrow and looked up at her. "Where did you even get this?"

Zecora gave me a slight glare before turning to Twilight. "I know she does not know as much magic as you, Twilight. You must help her turn the potion from purple to white. After a sip, Princess Antares may discover why it is both day and night."

Oh how I wished that it was a white liquid that I had to turn purple. Let's see her rhyme her way out of that one. Still, it was a tad insulting that she couldn't even say that to me personally. To be fair, though, what exactly rhymes with Antares that's relevant to the situation?

Anyway, Twilight nodded and turned her head to me. "I'm going to have to teach you some new magic for this, TD. I have a feeling that this responds to dark magic."

I raised my eyebrow and glanced down at the potion. "Dark magic? Now I'm even more curious as to what Zecora is doing with this."

Twilight frowned and rolled her eyes at me. "It doesn't matter, TD. What does matter is that we get this thing to work." Twilight took a deep breath and motioned to my horn. "Okay, here's what you have to do to cast dark magic. Essentially you have to focus all of your negative energies into your horn. You have to..." Twilight blushed and flattened her ears. "Let the hate flow through you, I guess."

Okay. That's new for me, but if I was the only one who could get this random potion to work then I guess I had to do it. I closed my eyes and remembered all of the times that Celestia screwed me over. I remembered the moment after the Gala where Celestia and Luna showed up after I trashed my house. I remember the emotions that I felt while I was trashing my house. The brief anger I felt when I heard Apple Bloom crying. I remember the feeling of Celestia telling me that I couldn't go home combined with Blueblood's comment. The more I thought about those memories, the more energy I felt flowing through my horn. It was noticeably different magic, though. I almost felt... dirty casting it. Celestia only knows how Twilight figured out how to use this magic.

Probably literally.

I felt the magic flow out of my horn, and I opened my eyes in time to see the potion turn from purple to white. It was ready. With nothing else for it, I took the potion and took a long sip. Hmm... it tasted... it tasted like how I imagine what snozzberries would taste like. It was kinda sour, but sweet at the same time with a hint of bitterness... Eh, I dunno. It was okay as far as taste goes.

Well, taste aside, it didn't seem to be working. Seriously, I was still standing in front of the ponies, and zebra and god of chaos, all of whom were looking at me expectantly. Of course, Discord's expectant look was gleeful almost, like he expected me to blow up or something like that.

I frowned and looked at the potion. "It doesn't seem to be wo--"

Of course it would choose to start working the second I said that. My eyes suddenly glowed white, and my brain went fuzzy on me. The atmosphere noticeably changed around me, and it felt like I was flying through time and space. Or at least, what I imagine going through time and space would feel like.

After a few seconds I felt everything go back to normal, and the glow around my eyes faded. I seemed to be... in Celestia's throne room? I sighed. Brilliant, Zecora. It was a teleportation potion. That only responds to alicorn magic. Seriously, I felt a little gypped here. I mean, it took me to Canterlot Castle, and I already knew that Celestia and Luna were missing. It didn't help at all!

Before I could so much as move, I heard a familiar voice ring out from behind the thrones.

"Not another step!" Luna stepped out from behind the throne and glared at me. Contrary to her usual demeanor, Luna sounded... pissed. Despite myself, I flinched back and flattened my ears. The last time she was this mad at me she snapped my spine over the back of a chair.

"Uh... you okay, Luna? Everybody's kind of worried about you."

To my intense unease, Luna's glare hardened. She almost looked like she was about to attack me, and that is not something that I wanted. Even though I was an immortal goddess now, I didn't even know a sliver of the combat magic that Luna did. She'd wipe the floor with me then heal me so she could do it again. I'd be lucky to get even a levitation spell off if she wanted to attack.

However, she didn't look like she was going to attack. As a matter of fact, what she said next made me think that she was... doing a Bond villain monologue?

"Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?" she snarled.

Uh... huh?

"Hey, Luna, I'm not sure what I did, but nobody really basks in my light." I uneasily scratched the back of my neck. "I mean, yeah there was that one parade, but I didn't even like it!"

"There can only be one princess in Equestria!" Luna stepped behind a podium, her glare not lightening even a little. I'm not sure what I did to piss her off this much, but boy did I get the feeling that I shouldn't be here.

Having said that, I'm not sure what her "one princess in Equestria" line was about. That would mean that she also wanted to get rid of Celestia and maybe Cadance. That would...

...

Oh. Oh I figured out what was going on. I was flashing back to when Luna became Nightmare Moon, wasn't I? Yeah, that would make sense.

Well, Luna didn't look any happier, and she pushed herself onto her hind legs. "And that princess shall be ME.

Wait, since this is a thousand years ago, shouldn't she be speaking in old speak and using the Royal We? Admittedly, it would be pretty funny if Luna said "there can only be one princess in Equestria and that princess shall be US."

Before I could reflect on that too much more, the room became dark and the wall behind her began cracking. Just like Luna had a while ago, it seems. The wall behind her broke, and the sun shone brightly into the throne room. Luna raised herself into the air and ignited her horn, causing the moon to rise into the sky, blocking out the sun and bringing about night, I guess.

With the sun blocked, beams of what I could only assume were dark magic shot out of the moon and encased Luna in swirls of more dark magic. As the swirls grew more intense, I managed to get a look at Luna's expression. To my surprise, she looked... scared. Almost in a "wait, I didn't mean for this to happen" kind of way. It was an expression filled with regret and fear.

Huh. I didn't expect that based on the episodes I saw and the stories I had heard. That was a new detail.

Well, it was too late for Luna now and the black swirls completely encased her. The swirls flew around even faster, creating a red ring of bright light. It almost looked like a small sun had appeared in the middle of the throne room. Kind of ironic, but I'm not an expert in these things.

The bubble star thing overloaded after a few seconds, and it faded away to reveal the silhouette of what I could only assume was Nightmare Moon. Her eyes snapped open, and I saw the dragon pupils that she was known for. Then she began cackling like a total maniac while her teeth formed into fangs. Apparently she found this whole thing absolutely hilarious.

Weirdo.

Having said that, I do wish that there were times that I could laugh like that and not be considered absolutely nuts. Being the villain for a day would be kind of cool, I must admit.

Well, having Nightmare Moon in front of me like that was a little unsettling, I must admit. Again, if I was actually there and she was fighting me, I wouldn't even begin to stand a chance against her. Thankfully she was just laughing. I amused myself be imagining that somebody was tickling her. That's how she was laughing.

Well, I wanted to know what the vines were, and this was the best way to do it, I guess.

Author's Notes:

So sorry this took a while to get out. It's just that I discovered this game and it sapped my productivity.

Sorry if you were expecting a legit update. I saw the opener and couldn't help myself.

Non-Canon Season 4 Episode 2 Bonus Chapter

Well I could really only stand there and smirk while Nightmare Moon did her best impression of a "Tickle Me Nightmare Moon"™ doll. Since this just a vision of the past, I couldn't really do anything to influence it. I just had to sit there and watch it unfold.

Well, Nightmare Moon stopped laughing and stomped her hoof on the ground with a glare. She ignited her horn and fired a beam of blue-green magic out of it and destroyed a nearby statue of Celestia. You go Nightmare Moon! She continued firing her magic at the ceiling, and it shattered, Several large pieces of ceiling came crashing down towards me, but I jumped out of the way just in time. I didn't know if it would actually hurt me, but why take the chance, right?

I landed right next to a pony who turned out to be Celestia. She's looking grimly at the being that used to be her sister. Cue Mortal Kombat theme.

Huh... or not.

She didn't actually begin fighting Nightmare Moon, which is what I'd be doing. I'd probably be screaming, too, like a little girl. Instead Celestia, the goddess of the sun, is just kind of standing there like she didn't really care to actually fight back, not even for the sake of her ponies.

The ceiling has completely collapsed now, revealing the moon high in the sky. Celestia landed behind me, a grim expression on her face. "Luna, I will not fight you!"

You won't? Well, all hail Queen Nightmare Moon, then.

"You must lower the moon; it is your duty!"

Ah, ah, ah, Celestia. You didn't say please. She'll never do anything for you like that unless you ask nicely.

Well, Luna found Celestia's wimpy order as ridiculous as I did, and she took a step forward. "Luna? I am Nightmare Moon! I have but one duty now..." Luna's horn ignited, charging up that sea foam green beam of magic. She flew into the air and fired. "To destroy you!"

Celestia flew out of the way of the attack and flew out of the hole in the ceiling. Nightmare Moon flew out after her, and I followed the two because if I don't then I'm just standing in a destroyed throne room. Besides, if I figured out what the vines are because of this, I didn't want to miss a moment. Nightmare Moon followed Celestia and repeatedly shot beams of combat magic out after her, destroying buildings and bridges. Yeah, Celestia could have kept this confined to the empty throne room where she could contain Nightmare Moon, but no. She had to fly around Canterlot, or wherever, and hope that some falling debris doesn't smash into somebody. Right.

Well eventually Darth Vader TIE Fighter Nightmare Moon scored a direct hit on Luke Skywalker X-Wing Celestia, and Celestia fell down back into the throne room with a scream of pain. Nightmare Moon started villain laughing again, and I flew down to see what Celestia was up to. She's lying on the ground completely out of it. Whatever Nightmare Moon hit her with sure as heck hurt.

Unfortunately for this cinematic experience, the fact that I'm seeing this as history means that I knew Celestia gets up, which she did. She looked really sad, but angry at the same time. "Oh dear sister, I'm sorry." Celestia turned her head back to an unassuming spot on the floor and illuminated her horn. A secret panel on the floor opened up, and a large pedestal rose from the secret opening. Five shining gems were floating on five extensions of the pedestal. The Elements of Harmony.

Gee, it's a good thing that Nightmare Moon was just kind of floating there while she got the Elements. I mean, sure she's fast and strong enough to completely destroy Celestia right out here and now, but yep... she's just kind of floating there and letting Celestia do this. Celestia is kind of lucky in that regard.

Yep. She's taking another twenty seconds to activate the Elements. What, did Nightmare Moon need to re-charge or something? Was she ordering victory take-out or something like that? Seriously, why hasn't she attacked yet?

Well the Elements began spinning around Celestia, enveloping her in a multi-colored halo of light. With a determined look on her face, she flew up to where Nightmare Moon was. Said evil goddess finally stopped watching the football game she was engrossed in and went back to defeat Celestia. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen.

Well, I flew up and landed on the roof of the castle to see the fireworks. Neither of the combatants say anything. Nightmare Moon just fired another beam at her sister while Celestia activated the Elements in a manner that looks like the Death Star firing its laser. Same result, too. Mostly. The two beams collided, and Celestia's easily pushed Nightmare Moon's back. Nightmare Moon noticed too late, and pure white light envelop her while she does her normal villain "noooo!"

The white light shot towards the moon, and the Mare in the Moon appeared.

Boom. Match to Celestia.

As soon as the Mare in the Moon appeared, history began fading away, and I saw nothing but white for a few moments. When it faded away, I found myself back in Ponyville. The weeds were still there, and I hadn't really found out anything important to speak of. I looked back over to the gathered group, all of whom were looking at me with confused expressions. I raised my eyebrow at them.

"What?"

Applejack uneasily scratched the back of her neck. "Uh... well, you were mumblin' to yerself."

"Oh, and don't forget that big smirk you had on your face the entire time," Pinkie chimed in.

"Well I for one thought it was mediocre." I looked over at Discord who was reclining on one of the vines and frowning at me. "I really thought that you'd have a better reaction to what you saw than that, Antares."

I glared at him and pushed the potion in his direction. "Well, if you want a funny reaction to somebody drinking this, then you drink it and we'll film it."

Discord scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're far too serious, Antares."

I gave a snort of my own. "At least I haven't been leashed by Celestia."

Boom.

I smirked at the now irked god of chaos before turning back to the rest of the group. "Basically I saw what happened when Luna became Nightmare Moon and was banished to the moon by Celestia and the Elements."

Dibs on the band name.

Rarity raised her eyebrow and frowned at me. "And... what about that event made you smirk like that? You seemed highly amused."

I chuckled and shrugged. "There were some mistakes made on both ends. It was kind of amusing to see for somebody like me."

My smile faded when I saw Twilight glaring at me, so I shrugged and decided to change the subject. "Anyway, I didn't find out what's causing the weeds to grow like this." I glanced over at Zecora. "Though I'm still not sure why you have a potion that only responds to Alicorn magic that lets said Alicorns view the past."

Zecora flattened her ears and looked nervously out into the forest. Only for a few seconds, though. She was quick to change the subject by proffering the vial to me again. "Perhaps farther back still are the answers you seek. Another sip of the potion will give you a peek."

Well... okay, then. It's not like I really have a better idea. I took the potion from her and downed a little more. Discord appeared in a director's outfit and carrying a movie camera.

"Ooh, I do hope she breaks out into a song this time!" he squeed.

I glared at him. "I've got one for you: this is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on--" Once again I was surrounded by a white light that transported me back to the past. When it faded, the first thing that I noticed was fish flying around. Like actually flying. Further examination revealed that I was standing on a plush checkerboard ground. The atmosphere was pinkish-purple, and most of the sparse buildings seemed to be floating upside-down.

Just when I thought I left Discord behind...

I turned around and saw Celestia and Luna walking up to a throne situated on a hill. They both looked pissed, and based on who was sitting on the throne, I couldn't blame them exactly. There, on the throne, was Discord. As the sisters approached, the throne spun around and Discord began laughing at the two of them.

"Oho, this is so much fun!" He lifted up a familiar flowing tail and presented it to Celestia. "How about a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony?"

Celestia gasped and spread her wings when she saw that Discord was holding her tail and that it was no longer attached to her. She glared at him. "Playtime is over, Discord!"

Discord scoffed and began munching on a bag of black seeds that had appeared out of nowhere. "Oh I doubt that." He grabbed a huge handful of seeds and threw them into his mouth. He offered the bag to Celestia and Luna. "Hungry?" The seeds began bouncing off of them and when they didn't react, Discord withdrew the bag. "Suit yourselves."

As Discord continued munching on the seeds, Celestia ignited her horn and looked down to the saddlebag at her side. It opened up and, big shocker, the Elements of Harmony come out. Gee. Didn't see that one coming. It is interesting to note, however, that Celestia had magic, generosity, and kindness while Luna had honesty, laughter, and loyalty. Given the scene I just watched, there is probably irony in there somewhere.

Discord, for his part, merely looked amused. He dropped the bag of seeds and leaned in, rubbing his chin. "Oh. What have you got there?"

"The Elements of Harmony," Celestia retorted. Man, the way that she said that made me think that she would follow it up with a "biyatch." I should suggest that to her next time she solves a problem without shifting it over to the Elements.

"With them we shall defeat you!" said Luna as the familiar ball of light appeared around them as the Elements charged up. I sat on the ground next to them, a large grin on my face. After that whole "scepter trick," this was going to be awesome.

I let out a little giggle just as Discord began laughing rambunctiously. "You should see yourselves right now! The expression on your face; so intense, so sure of yourselves!"

I snorted and glanced over at the two princesses. I could not argue with Discord on that one. Seriously, can't they at least crack a smug smile at him or something? They looked angry for two ponies that were about to totally wipe the floor with a god of chaos who had oppressed the world for who knew how long.

The two princesses touched their glowing horns together, and a rainbow spiral shot out of the ball of light. It shot directly towards Discord who was still laughing his head off. I doubt he even understood what was happening as the rainbow beam turned him into stone. Of course, given that I knew he was aware even inside the statue, I imagine his first thoughts after being turned were something along the lines of "aw dude, not cool."

The scene before me faded away, and I expected to find myself back in Ponyville. I had some interesting words for Discord after I got back. However, I didn't find myself there where thorny vines were trying to destroy me. Instead I found myself in something that looked like a cave of some sort. The cave was not empty, though, in front of me was a glowing tree. My jaw dropped slightly when I stared at it. Even I had to admit that it was... amazing. I could see gems embedded in it that looked like the Elements of Harmony.

It wasn't long before Celestia and Luna appeared and walked up to the tree. Luna gasped when they reached it. "The Tree of Harmony," she said softly.

Wait... you didn't notice it until it was ten feet away from you? Shouldn't she have done that the second they turned a corner, or whatever, and saw it? I mean, I can see why she is impressed. I agreed that its majesty was overwhelming, but... delayed reaction much?

Upon further examination of the tree, I saw a symbol on it that looked like Twilight's cutie mark. I cocked my head with a frown as Celestia flew up closer to it. It also seemed to have Luna and Celestia's cutie mark on it too. I scanned the tree some more, but I didn't see my cutie mark on it. I wasn't sure what I thought about that. Did that mean that I wasn't mean to be a ruler of Equestria, or that I was never destined to wield any of the Elements? I mean, the current bearers... wouldn't last forever, so somebody needed to take over the job. Seemed that it wasn't going to be me.

Celestia fired a beam of magic into the tree right where Twilight's cutie mark was. The tree began glowing brightly, and I suspected that I would soon see exactly where the Elements had come from.

"Are you sure?" Luna said quietly. She flew up next to her sister who was, as it turns out, sure.

"We have discovered the only means by which we may defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria."

Ah, so Discord took over after the events of the Hearth's Warming Eve events. Good to know.

Celestia began talking the Elements off of the tree one by one. "Even without these Elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic."

Twilight's cutie mark symbol opened up and the Element of Magic floated out of the hole. The Elements began slowly spinning around the two princesses. "As long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here."

So yeah, after that the princesses just kind of floated in place while the Elements spun around them. Yep. They didn't do anything, almost as if they knew somebody would be watching them while they looked cool. No immediate charge to Discord so they could save the ponies even faster. They just kind of flew in place.

Okay.

I guess they know what they're doing. I mean, I'm not a princess like them, so I can't... oh wait, yes I am.

Whatever. The light flashed again, and this time I found myself back in Ponyville. The others were looking expectantly at me, save for Discord who was glaring.

"So, what did you see this time, TD?" Rarity asked. "You were grinning and giggling like a madpony for a while there."

"Then you looked like you saw something really cool!" said Pinkie. She began bouncing up and down and grinning at me. "What didja see? What didja see?"

I glanced over at Discord and smirked at him. "I saw the time Discord got turned to stone by Celestia, Luna, and the Elements. Kind of amusing, really." Discord rolled his eyes and tapped his claw on one of the vines. I think even he knew that he was being dumb while that was going on. I had too much ammunition to use against him, so he kept quiet. I shook my head and chuckled before looking back at the rest of them. "After that I saw Celestia and Luna get the Elements from something called the Tree of Harmony." I frowned and tapped my lower jaw. "Not sure how that relates to the vines, but I'm thinking it’s our best bet right now."

"Do you know where this tree is?" Twilight asked. "If we're going to start looking, it'd be prudent to know where to start."

I grimaced and looked in the direction of the Everfree Forest. I jerked my head towards it. "Where is anything of value that could help save the world?"

"Well alright then!" said Applejack, determination in her voice. "Let's go save a..." She faltered a moment when she realized how ridiculous she was about to sound. "Tree."

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "I'm hoping that Celestia and Luna will be there. If not, it's a good place to start."

Well, with nothing else for it, the Mane Six and I began walking into the forest. I glanced back at Discord who was floating upside down and saying something to Zecora. The zebra looked thoroughly unsettled by Discord, but I couldn't hear what he was saying to her. I shrugged and turned back towards the forest. He was reformed, so he wouldn't hurt her.

As we walked in, the vines kept trying to get at me. Twilight had to continue the shield spell so that I was safe, which would start straining her any moment now. I considered asking her how to cast one of my own, but I wasn't sure if I could grasp the concept. If worst came to worst, I'd just do that.

We continued walking for about ten minutes before we reached a river. It looked like it had seen better days as it was an acidic green color. I was going to go out on a limb and say that we didn't want to get ourselves wet here. Twilight walked up to the edge and pointed at some stones that led to the other side of the river. "We can use these to cross."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Or the three of us with wings can carry the other four across the river." I flapped my wings and motioned to my back. "Rainbow and Fluttershy can carry one of you and I think I could take two. I'll drop off the two and carry the last pony across on my back." I shrugged. "Shouldn't take more than thirty seconds and it dramatically reduces the chance that we'll fall into the river if those stones can't hold our weight."

The six ponies looked at each other and shrugged. "Can't argue with that plan," said Applejack.

With that figured out, Fluttershy and Rainbow picked up Rarity while I allowed Applejack and Pinkie to climb onto my back. Twilight simply teleported to the other side, allowing the rest of us to simply fly over. Boom. Done.

We continued our journey in relative silence for a few more minutes. All the while the vines continued bashing against Twilight's shield. I could see that each time a vine hit, Twilight flinched. This was putting more of a strain on her than I would like. I walked up next to her and leaned my head down. "You okay, Twilight? I can see this is straining you."

Twilight grimaced as another vine slapped the shield. "I'm fine. As long as we can get to the tree we can stop this." Another vine hit the shield, and to my horror the shield started flickering. Twilight flattened her ears and bit her lip. "Okay, maybe we do need to figure something else out."

"Well, it seems to me that they're mainly after you, TD." Applejack walked up next to me and stared at the vines in contemplation. "Look, Ah know y'all might not exactly be keen on the idea, but maybe you'd better go back ta Ponyville and let us look fer the tree. We'll know it when we see it, Ah'm sure."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "You mean you don't want one of the most powerful ponies ever helping you? What happens if these vines start going after you next?"

"TD, Ah know you wanna help, but yer Equestria's last princess if the other two don't reappear after we fix the tree." Applejack put her hoof on my foreleg and gave me a small smile. "If you're gone too, Ah don't think Equestria could handle not having a princess."

I grimaced, but I couldn't exactly argue either. Of course, that left me with the responsibility of being the sole monarch of Equestria without even a sliver of the knowledge of what Celestia and Luna had when they ruled. There were undoubtedly secrets key to running the kingdom that they hadn't shared with me yet. Still, I was better than nothing, I suppose. I sighed and nodded. "Okay, I can see your point. We should be close anyway. Even so, if you need any help just fire sparks into the air and I'll come running."

"We know you want to help, TD, but Equestria couldn't survive a complete decapitation of our government." Rarity walked up and put her hoof on my other foreleg. "We saved the world from Nightmare Moon and Discord. We can handle things."

I nodded and spread my wings. "Okay. Just be care--"

Before I could finish my sentence, the vines broke through Twilight's shield. Twilight collapsed on the ground, rubbing the base of her horn. I let out a yelp and took off, but it was already too late. Two vines wrapped around my hind legs while another wrapped around my barrel, pinning my wings to my sides. I fell to the earth and hit the ground rather hard. I could hear the other ponies panicking around me, but none of them could really do anything with Twilight out for the count. More vines were wrapping around me every second, the thorns piercing my skin. I bit my lip and tried to ignite my horn to incinerate the vines around me, but one wrapped itself around my horn. The magic I was charging fizzled out. To make matters worse, I felt myself being pulled backwards into the darker parts of the forest.

Boy was I having a bad day.

Well, the Mane Six could only watch in horror as I was dragged away to whatever fate had befallen Celestia and Luna. I could only hope that if it was death that it was a quick affair and not a long, torturous one. At any rate, I blacked out right after I lost sight of the Elements.

I awoke some time later in some sort of pod thing... I think. I was completely encased in it whatever it was. I tried charging up my horn again, but it didn't even spark.

"'Tis no use, TD Powell. We are trapped here."

My eyes widened when I realized who was speaking. "Luna? You there?"

I felt a pressure at the base of my horn that had nothing to do with the vines encasing me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and when I did, the pressure faded away. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see myself back where I was when I ascended. The place where all points converged. I frowned and looked around for anything that could help me. Nothing was around, but after a few seconds Celestia and Luna walked through the fog.

"So, the vines got you too." Celestia grimaced and shook her head. "Pity. I am not sure what Equestria will do now."

I shrugged. "Twilight and Co. are on their way to the Tree of Harmony. I'm sure they'll know what to do."

Both princesses gasped and rushed over to me. "You know about the Tree of Harmony?!"

"How is it that thou hast learned of its existence?"

I snorted. "Zecora had this weird potion. I hit it with dark magic and when I drank it I saw the past. That included when you got the Elements from the Tree."

Both princesses breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at me. "This is wonderful news, TD!" said Celestia. "All we have to do now is wait for them to restore the tree and we shall be freed."

I frowned and cocked my head. "So what do we do until then? Just kind of wait around for... whatever?"

Celestia chuckled and shook her head. "Of course not, TD. This is the place where all points converge, remember?"

Celestia ignited her horn and another flash of white light appeared because lord knows I hadn't had enough of those today. When this was over I was going to sit in a dark room for a week, I swear to me.

When the light faded we found ourselves back in the poker room at the palace. I turned my head to Celestia who was already sitting at her chair and shuffling the cards. "So... you could have come back to the palace at any time you wanted?" I scoffed. "What, was this a test for me or Twilight?"

"Oh no," Celestia said with a chuckle. "This place is an illusion. It is no more real than these cards I'm shuffling."

"'Tis better than just lying in the pod waiting to be rescued, TD Powell." Luna sat down at her spot and Celestia began dealing the cards. "Come and join us. We will not be harmed in the pods."

I stared at the two princesses in bewilderment, but... well, I couldn't really argue with them. I shrugged and sat down at my spot.

"We shall raise thee three, TD Powell." Luna pushed three bits to the center of the table and smirked at me. "Thou shalt not beat us this time."

I snorted and called. "Great poker face, Luna." I glanced over at Celestia who also called. She had her usual serene smile on her face.

"Well, ladies, we have all called. I think it is time we showed our cards, yes?"

Luna eagerly slapped her cards down on the table. Full house threes and twos. She smirked at me. "Thou hast better come up with something better, TD Powell."

I snorted and placed my own cards down. Full house nines and sixes. Luna bared her teeth and slammed her hoof on the table. "Thou art cheating! Thou must be cheating!"

Celestia chuckled and looked down at her cards. "Well, it's not over until it's over, Luna. For you see, I have..."

Celestia was cut off when the room around us began glowing white. Her eyes widened and she quickly tried to slap her cards down on the table, but it was too late. They had already disappeared.

The world around us faded away, and I saw the Tree of Harmony appear before us. I looked down and saw that the vines trapping me were fading away. I stood up and stretched my wings out. Much better. I cracked my neck and turned around to see the Mane Six smiling at us. The first thing that I noticed was that their Element necklaces were bereft of the jewels that usually adorned them. So, the Elements of Harmony were gone. I can only guess that the Tree took them.

I looked over to Celestia and Luna and saw that they were on their hooves and smiling at Twilight. However, Celestia's smile was a little forced. I chuckled and leaned in next to her. "Good hand?"

"Four sevens," she whispered.

I snorted. "You can't prove that. I win."

"I know," she groused. She looked back to the Mane Six and smiled as Twilight approached her. Twilight threw her hooves around Celestia and Luna in a tight hug. "We know how difficult it must have been for you to give up the Elements."

Not as difficult as it will be for Equestria now that we've lost our best line of defense against gods.

"It took great courage to relinquish them," Celestia continued.

Oh what a happy moment. It made me want to roll my eyes, but eh, I let them have it without my commentary. It was a special moment, after all.

Having said that, it wasn't me that interrupted their hug. Yet another bright light emulated from the already shining Tree of Harmony, and we all turned around to see what it was doing. The Elements shone brighter than ever, and some sort of magic seeped from them into the Element of Magic. The magic seeped down the trunk and lit both Celestia and Luna's cutie marks in turn. The magic continued flowing until it reached one of the roots and a flower bloomed. Twilight slowly walked over to it and gently touched the bud. It opened up revealing a shining box of some sort.

"What's inside it?" Twilight questioned. "How am I supposed to open it?"

"Six locks, six keys." Luna and Twilight looked over to Celestia who shook her head.

"I do not know where they are." Her usual serene smile returned. "But I do know that it is not a mystery that you will be solving alone."

I walked up to the box and rubbed my lower jaw thoughtfully. "Hmm... keys." I peered at one of the key holes. "Well... now that I think on it, I did find a shining key in the basement of my palace in the same style as this box. I couldn't figure out what it was for so I threw it away."

"WHAT?!" Everybody shouted at once, all of them glaring at me.

I snorted and smirked at them. "Only kidding."

Well, now that the plants weren't acting up anymore, we made it back through the forest with no trouble at all. The second we reached the edge a party horn sounded and confetti sprayed everywhere. Banners bearing our faces appeared out of thin air. I was displeased to note that mine face had derped eyes, leaving no doubt of who was behind this.

"Bravo, ladies, bravo!" said Discord, a large foam finger adorning his paw. "However did you save the day this time?" His voice turned mocking and he wiggled his fingers. "Blast the beastie with your magic necklaces, I presume?" Discord vanished and reappeared, smaller and dressed in rodeo gear, on Applejack's back. He leaned forward and examined her neck. "Where are those little trinkets of yours? You know, the ones you used to send me back to my extremely uncomfortable stone prison."

Applejack sighed and glared at Discord. "Gone."

Discord vanished and reappeared in front of us. "Gone?" He had an expression on his face that I didn't like. Once again he looked like he had been told that Christmas was coming early. His smile turned a little more evil, and he looked like he was plotting something. "Gone..."

"But our friendship remains," Fluttershy insisted. "And if you wanna remain friends, you'll stop thinking whatever you're thinking and help us clean up."

Discord literally began shrinking under Fluttershy's glare. I knew he was vaguely mocking her, but he didn't say anything. He vanished and reappeared wearing a maid's outfit.

Uh-oh. Here comes the Discord/Fluttershy fanfiction.

At any rate, Discord began walking back to town. "Fine. But I don't do windows."

The rest of us followed behind Discord into town. Applejack walked up beside me and Twilight. "One thing I don't get why'd all this happen now?"

"I have no idea." Discord tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Those seeds I planted should have sprouted up ages ago."

Oh of course. Of course Discord was behind it. I facehooved at him. "So you didn't think that we could have used this information a while ago?"

Discord clicked his tongue. "I don't know why you think that. I suppose I was still a little sore than my seeds didn't destroy the tree and capture Celestia and Luna ages ago." Discord grinned nastily at me. "Besides, you needed to learn a lesson about ruling and what it would be like if you were the sole ruler of Equestria." He appeared in front of me and ruffled my mane. "I'd say you did a bang up job except for the part where you got captured and had to rely on commoners to save you." Discord vanished and reappeared reclining in midair. "Oh well. It's not like Celestia and Luna are any different."

Well, as much as I didn't like Discord, I couldn't really argue with him there.

The Summer Sun Celebration is here and for all of the ponies of Equestria what a treat it will be.

Celestia and Luna flew back to Canterlot as soon as they were freed to fix the sun and moon and calm everypony down. It worked, and when I few to Canterlot to do my part, the ponies were docile. They all bowed to me as I flew up to the platform to do my part for the Celebration. Celestia and Luna were there smiling at me as I landed next to them.

"Are you ready, TD?" Celestia asked. "This is no small responsibility."

I shrugged and took my place. "As ready as I'm going to be, I guess."

My two fellow princesses nodded at me and walked up to the platform. They spread their wings to highlight their majesty and smiled at the crowd.

"Citizens of Equestria. It is no longer with a heavy heart, but with great joy that I raise the summer sun." Well, I guess they had to find out sometime that you were highly depressed every time you raised the sun in years past, that every time these ponies say you raise the sun you were being torn apart inside despite the fact that you looked happy. People like it when politicians aren't honest with them about something that important. Might as well tell them that you went back to your room and drank yourself silly. "The Summer Sun Celebration now represents not the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but the return of my sister: Princess Luna."

So wait, every single year the whole point of the Summer Sun Celebration was to commemorate the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but everybody still thought she was a myth? I mean, Celestia said that the Celebration represented the defeat of Nightmare Moon, implying that it came up every year. Surely somebody asked her "hey, so are you really being serious when you say that this commemorates the defeat of Nightmare Moon? So the Mare in the Moon is really an evil goddess that's been trapped there?" For that matter, you'd think that a story that important with a still living participant would be passed down as a little more than just a myth, especially when it's tied to a national holiday. You'd think there would be a lot of books about the origins of the Summer Sun Celebration that would give the true story behind the Celebra...

...

Eh, screw it.

Luna flew into the air and ignited her horn. The moon slowly lowered in the sky. After a few seconds, Celestia copied her sister, and the sun began rising. My cue, I guess. I fired up my own horn and flew in between the two princesses. When I was exactly between the two, I cast the spell and my cutie mark appeared rainboom style. It spread out over all of Canterlot until it faded away. The three of us landed back on the platform and exchanged congratulatory nods. We looked out into the crowd of cheering ponies and smiled. Okay, that was kinda cool, I guess.

Non-Canon Season 4 Bonus Chapter: Power Ponies

So today I decided to take the day off and fly down to the Everfree Forest because Twilight and Friends wanted to go about restoring Celestia's old castle. Wow, she really has them around her hoof if she has them re-painting a house she hasn't even thought about in a thousand years, hasn't she? I decided to go along and left my snarcasti-guard in Baltimare to handle things. They could deal without me for five hours while I helped them move boxes or rocks or whatever.

I touched down outside the castle and walked in to see all of them already getting going. Pinkie Pie was soap skating on carpet, Applejack was putting up paintings of apples.

Hah. G-get it? Because she's Applejack and she likes apples more than her kidneys so... so she puts stuff up with apples on them and...

Right. Moving on.

So yeah, they're all cleaning up the rubble and scrubbing away they millennium of dust and decay that has overtaken the castle. Everything does look pretty worn down. Except for one random tapestry that I'm seeing right next to one random doorway. That one looks relatively well maintained for some reason.

I walked up next to Twilight who is putting down a mop and a bucket of soapy water. She turned to me and smiled. "You seem to know the right times to show up, TD. We were just about to break for some tea and biscuits."

I shrugged with my wings. "Yeah, well, it took me a little longer to get going than I thought it would. I had one or two issues to take care of. No biggie."

"Well we're happy to have you now." Twilight beckoned me onwards and her group flocked around us. "We're just going to find Spike and then we can break."

I frowned and looked around the group. "Where is the little guy?"

Rarity chuckled and waved her hoof. "Oh, he's off reading some comic book or something like that. We had everything under control. He didn't seem to mind."

I raised my eyebrow and looked down at Rarity. "If I know Spike, then you're remarkably perceptive of his moods, aren't you?"

Rarity smiled, completely missing what I'm princess of, and nodded. "He loves those comic books of his."

I sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, well, I can't blame him, I suppose. I know I loved reading Spider-man growing up."

We walked into a small room and saw Spike standing in front of a small pedestal with a comic book laid out over it. The comic book was glowing a bright white light, and to the horror of everybody but me, I had frankly seen it coming, Spike started getting sucked into the comic book.

"Spike!" Twilight ran over to her assistant and grabbed on to him, trying to pull him out of the grip of the book. However, the magic within the book was too strong, and soon she too was being sucked in.

One-by-one, the Mane Six did their best lemming impression and rushed over to the book, trying to grab their friends out, but they just got sucked in too. Somehow they all seemed shocked when they started getting pulled into the comic book, except for Pinkie who flat out kamikazed in.

Now, I had been standing there watching them jump in. Why? Because I didn't really want to get involved. I had hoped that they would be able to get Spike out or something like that, but they all got sucked in. Most of me didn't want to go in after them, but I wondered what would have happened if something did happen to them. Oy, I can hear Celestia's lecture now.

You saw my student and her friends and pet get sucked into a comic book and you just stood there? Now they're in who knows what kind of danger and you could have stopped it! I understand my student is capable of handling herself, but there are times when she needs help. She is not equipped to deal with every--

Okay! Fine! I'm going!

I groaned and leaped into the glowing light just as the comic book started to close. I felt myself getting compressed and stretched out, somehow at the same time, as I traveled through whatever time and space this enchanted comic book lead to.

When the travel finally ended, I felt myself lying on what felt like concrete, or something like that. I opened one eye and looked down to see that I appeared to be lying on a rooftop.

"Is this... Maretropolis?!"

I raised my head and saw that Spike and the rest of the gang were there. What's more is that they were all dressed like they're going to a comic book convention and cosplaying as OCs.

"TD? You got sucked into here too?!" Twilight gasped.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "I made a snap decision based on how much flack I'd get for making the other one." I crossed my forelegs and took a second look at their costumes. "You look flamboyant. You might want to have a talk with the makers of these comics, though."

A glare crossed Applejack's face and she stomped her hoof on the ground. "You better believe it, TD! Who creates a silly comic book that sucks ponies in like this?!"

"No, I meant for copyright infringement." I turned my head to Spike. "You read these comics. Are these accurate costumes for these characters?" Spike could only stand there with his mouth open and nod. I returned it and pointed at their legs. "Well, the makers seem to have based these all off of you. Your cutie marks are all over these costumes."

Spike's mouth closed and he frowned. He walked up to Rarity's costume and leaned in, examining the details. "Huh... how did I never notice that before?" He blinked twice but then shook his head. "But that doesn't matter right now! What matters is that you're the Power Ponies!!"

The second he said that, a small explosion happened behind us, and we all rushed to the edge of the building that we're standing on. The front of the building was blown open, and green tentacle things were shooting out of it. They were quickly followed by a cackling pony whom I could only assume was the villain of this particular issue.

"Power Ponies? How kind of you to join us!"

Oy. She looked like the shameful pony cousin that Medusa never wants to talk about. She laughed a lot too. Somehow that last line was comedy gold.

Applejack was less that amused, however. She was actually just pretty confused. "Did she just call us... Power Ponies?"

"Yes, Applejack, she did. Right after Spike did, as a matter of fact." I looked back down at the laughing villain. Sure she could have been using this time to escape, but... she looked like she was having fun? I guess? I looked over at Spike. "So what are their powers again?" I pointed down at pony Wedgie Woman. "She's not going anywhere for a while. If it looks like she's about to leave, we can probably just say 'Power Ponies' and she'll just start up again." I frowned and tapped my lower jaw. I looked back down at the villain whose laughter was dying down a little bit. "POWER PONIES!"

Yeah, she started back up again with a vengeance. I gave a satisfied smile and nodded before turning back to Spike. "I just bought you a few hours. So what are all their powers again?"

Spike began pointing to each of the ponies in turn. "Pinkie is Fili-Second, the fastest pony in Maretropolis! Rainbow Dash is Zapp. If she unholsters her lightning bolt, she can control the mighty forces of nature! Fluttershy is Saddle Rager. She gets powerful when she loses her temper! Applejack is Mistress Mare-velous! She has a psychic connection to her lasso. Twilight is the Masked Matter-Horn. She can shoot all kinds of power-beams from her horn. And Rarity, you're Radiance! You can create literally anything with your bracelets. Just think of it, and it'll appear!"

I smiled and walked up to Rarity. I threw a hoof around her shoulder. "Well this'll be easy, then. You can solve this pretty much by yourself. Just think of something to trap her, potentially forever, and we're good to go!"

Before Rarity could respond, I heard Whatever-Hair stop laughing. "Well it's been fun, but I think it's time for the mane event!"

Oh. No. She. Did. Not.

My eyes narrowed and I walked up to the edge of the building. If my special power was death-by-glare she'd be evaporated. Did she really call that a pun? Really? So, I did the only thing that I could think of. I flipped one of my hooves in her direction.

"F**k you."

Yep. I said it. Since it's a foal-friendly comic it got edited out, but somebody had to say it because wow, that was an awful pun.

Well, the Mane Six were shocked. Their jaws were dropped and Twilight had her hooves over Spike's ear holes. "TD! That was absolutely uncalled for!"

I gave another wing shrug. "Yeah, well, so was the pun. I mean, really. She can't think of anything better? Anything? I should have said so--"

My words were cut off when a pretzel stand smashed into the side of my head, sending me flying across the rooftop. Now, I don't know how many of you have ever been hit over the head with a pretzel cart, but it's not a pleasant experience. It kind of hurts, even if you're an immortal alicorn goddess. Maybe that's the comic book world I was in, but whatever. Point is, I was on the ground clutching my head and trying to ignore the ringing and lingering smell of salt and grease.

I heard Dock Ock knockoff laughing again and the Mane Six gearing up for war. My head stopped throbbing after a few moments and I looked up to see Rainbow in the air summoning a tornado, Applejack and Pinkie Pie nowhere to be found, and the rest of them just kind of standing there. Twilight looked a little embarrassed, so I'm guessing she tried to do something cool and found she had performance issues.

So to make matters worse, not only did Rainbow Dash summon a tornado, but instead of going for villain-lady, it went for her friends. Element of Loyalty indeed. Of course, this did absolutely nothing to stop the villain, but it was a nice effort.

I groaned and pushed myself to my hooves. What do they make pretzel carts out of in this universe, Adamantium? I looked over to where it was and saw that it was lying a few feet away from me with a my head shaped dent in its side. At least I had managed to critically injure it! I glared at the cart and disintegrated it with my horn. Yes, I can be spiteful, okay?

Well by that point the tornado had died down, and I saw that our heroes had let the bad guys escape. I snorted and flew next to them. "Should I have gotten the Elements of Harmony? Would that have helped? Or is it too soon to be making jokes about that?"

Twilight glared at me and looked up at her horn. "This isn't a joke, TD. We're not sure how to use our powers yet."

My jaw dropped and I stared at them. "Don't..." I groaned loudly and facehooved. "Of course you do! Pinkie has got hers down. So does Rarity and Applejack! Fluttershy just doesn't want to get angry, Rainbow Dash just doesn't know how to control her powers..." My glare faded and was replaced with a sly smile. I lightly tapped Twilight's horn with my hoof. "It seems you're making excuses for your performance issues. Is it being shy?"

Twilight growled at me and batted my hoof away. "This isn't a laughing matter, TD! We've got to stop the Mane-iac if we're going to get out of here!"

I nodded. "I agree, so long as we agree to never call her by her villain name again it's just too awful."

"Y'all call us the 'Mane Six,' TD," Applejack pointed out.

"The pun works in mysterious ways, okay?" I said with a wave of my hoof. "Let's just get this over with, okay?" I turned to Spike. "Where is her evil lair? Tell me it doesn't have something to do with hair."

Spike could only nervously giggle.

"A shampoo factory." I groaned and facehooved. "This is the end of the world. She is now the worst villain since Quilt Man."

"It may very well be the end of the world if we don't do something about this, TD." Rarity walked by me with her nose in the air towards the entrance of the factory. "What is important is that we work together to defeat this wicked pony so that we can get out of here!"

Before any of us could do anything, the garage door opened, and we heard more familiar laughing. Did she swallow a laugh track or something? Jeez. Anyway, who should come out of the factory but Green Hair Lady and her henchmen. I squee when I look at her henchmen in more detail.

"Oh Wavy Locks, your henchponies are just faaabulooouus!"

One of them grinned and ran a hoof through his mane. "Oh I know, I know!"

Green Hair glared at him, but quickly got over it and pulled out what looked like a giant hair spray can. Spike gasped when he saw it. "The Hair Spray Ray of Doom!"

I was about to spout off more profanity because she really needed somebody to veto these wretched ideas, but Rainbow Dash quickly charged her with her lightning emblem out, lighting crackling behind her. I would have been summoning hail or acid rain, but whatever. Generic Laugh began doing what she did best and, you guessed it, laughed. She pressed down on the two-story spray can and sprayed a pink cloud of hair spray over Rainbow Dash. When the spray settled, Rainbow Dash was on the ground, frozen solid.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't an awful weapon.

"It stops you in your tracks and takes away your powers!" Spike cried. "Be careful!"

"We won't let you get away with this, Mane-iac!" Rarity roared. She pawed at the ground three times and charged. Not only did she charge directly at the spray can, but so did everybody else. I facehooved and shook my head. I didn't even need to look to see that their success rate was about as high as a lone man against a machine gun out in the open. There was no strategy! When I took my hoof away, all of the Mane Six were frozen. All of them. She had even gotten Fluttershy, who wasn't even charging them.

Well, that left me and Spike, and she didn't care about Spike. She turned her attention to me and pointed the spray can at me with a giggle. "And who, pray tell, are you?"

I looked over at the frozen Mane Six as they were being dragged off by her henchmen to fates unknown inside of her shampoo factory. This being a foal comic I'm sure they'd be fine for a while. I shrugged and looked back up at Hair Lady. "TD."

She threw her head back and began laughing again. "Bwahahah..." Her laughter died down and she looked back at me with a confused expression. "TD? What does that mean?"

"TD."

"Yes, but what does it mean? What does it stand for?"

"TD."

Her eyes narrowed and she menaced me with the spray can. "Can you even say anything else you dense foal?!"

I shrugged yet again. "TD."

"Enough!" One of her hair tentacles rubbed the top of the spray can. "You had best tell me who you are and what you are doing here. Why are you with the Power Ponies and Hum Drum?"

"TD TD TD. TD TD TD TD TD." I shrugged and fluttered my wings. "TD TD TD TD DDTT TD TD."

Boy did I have to fly off in a hurry unless I wanted to be frozen too. I barely avoided the rather large cloud of evil hair spray that was shot at me. I did a barrel roll to avoid the second blast, and decided that it might be a good time to start the showdown. Twilight and Co. were...

You know what? No. I always say "Twilight" and Co. I'm going to change it up.

Anyway, Fluttershy and Co. were still trapped, so I knew it was up to me to get something done, and I knew just how to do it. I avoided another blast and used my magic to rip a hole into the wall of the shampoo factory. I flew inside and saw Applejack and Co. being loaded into a cage by the fabulous henchmen.

That's when I saw them.

Rarity's bracelets.

Bingo.

I licked my lips and slid them off of her forelegs. They flew over to me and I slid them onto my own just as Bad Hair Day came through the hole I had made, wielding the spray can. She began laughing again and aimed it directly at me. "There is no escape for you now, fool! You are cornered! Prepare to meet your doooooooooommmm!"

I chuckled and licked my lips. "TD."

She fired the evil hair spray at me, but I was ready. That, and I had a little more imagination than Rarity did. I used her bracelets to materialize a giant fan. I turned it on and the spray shot back to the villain who I won't name because her name is stupid. She screeched and ducked, dropping the can as she did. The evil cloud harmlessly hit the back wall behind her.

Hare-iac snarled at me and motioned to her henchmen. "Seize her! I want her strung up over Maretropolis! She will be the first of my victims of my doomsday device!"

I cocked my head and crossed my forelegs as the henchmen came closer to me, a few of them swinging lassos to bring me down. "Doomsday device, you say? I take it that it's that thing under the sheet there." I scoffed and waved my hoof. "Whatever, all we need to really know about each other is that I'm here to kick plot and see the latest Hitchcolt movie." I licked my lips again and slammed my forehooves together. "And the new Hitchcolt movie hasn't come out yet!"

With a war cry I fired up the bracelets and formed a gigantic pair of hands. I swept half of the henchmen aside with one hand and with the other I scooped them up and bounced them in my hand. They cried in fear and I, not being a total sadist, made a large cage twice as large as the one housing Rainbow Dash and Co. The ones that I didn't shove inside yelped and ran inside themselves. I slammed the door shut and spun around to face the villain.

"So, it is down to you, and it is down to me. Your precious pawns are not going to save you now."

Hair-iac snarled and her hair began whipping around her in a violent frenzy. "You insolent foal! You do not know who you are dealing with, do you?!"

I laughed and cracked the knuckles of my hands. "Oh, I think I do."

With another war cry, I poured more power into the bracelets and gigantic pieces of armor began forming around me until I was decked out in full on battle armor. With one more burst, I materialized a war hammer in my hands and twirled it around menacingly.

"Let's do this."

With a shout I swung the war hammer at whatever was under the sheet and shattered it completely. It turned out to be a giant hair dryer, big surprise there. My opponent screeched and flinched back as pieces of what I suspected she thought of as her masterpiece went flying everywhere. She managed to pick up her spray can again but I slammed my fingers into the walls of the factory and tore out a large chunk which I used to block the oncoming spray. I continued using it as a shield and picked up my war hammer with my other hand, advancing towards my now not even remotely giggling victi... er... opponent.

Well, I did fail to remember that her hair was pretty sneaky, so I did not notice until it was too late that it was wrapping around one of my hind legs. It pulled back and I fell to the ground with a yelp, dropping my wall shield and my war hammer. I rolled to the side to dodge another spray and fired up the bracelets. Instantly no less than three dozen separate TDs all decked out in the same battle armor appeared. My opponent squeaked and nearly dropped her spray can again, allowing me to leap to my hooves and paw at the ground.

"It's over. You're never going to win!"

"I will win!" she roared. "Not even you and your illusions can stop me!"

"As you wish."

I ignited my horn and my hands picked up my hammer and shield again. My clones scattered in different directions and began tearing out sections of the walls while a few others got Pinkie Pie and Co. out of their cage. I smashed my hammer down on the spray can, leaving a large dent in it. Ms. Hair screamed and dropped the can, allowing me to pick it up and put it in a trash compactor that I materialized.

With her two weapons gone, and her fortress actively being disassembled around her, the kid gloves were off for Green Hair Day. She let out a loud scream and began shooting all of her hair tentacles at me. I flew into the air to dodge them and tried batting them back with my hammer, but it wasn't a permanent solution. I dissolved the hammer and went back to the time in college where I watched The Burning and materialized a gigantic pair of garden shears. The next time one of her locks of doom came towards me, I swiped at it with the shears and snapped them shut. A large green lock of her mane fell to the floor, completely severed.

Bad Hair Day gasped and froze as she stared at the severed portion of her mane. I giggled and flew above her to tap her head with the shears. "Give up yet, or do I have to get really creative?"

Evil Hair Mare's eyes narrowed, and she let out another roar and swiped at me with her mane. I neatly severed the lock she hit me with, but wasn't fast enough to avoid the other three she shot at me, and I flew back and hit the wall so hard I left a dent. Of course, that's why I was wearing battle armor, so I just got back up and flew into the air again. The shears were gone, but I had another trick up my sleeve. I fired up the bracelet again and grasped my ultimate super-weapon. I flew up to one of the catwalks and whistled to her. She snarled and wheeled around to face me and...

My minigun.

Did I mention that Terminator 2 is one of my favorite movies? Because it totally is.

I smirked powered the gun up. She was in for it now. she charged me with her hair flying every which way, some of her remaining locks knocking down my doubles. Well, she just made the mistake that Applejack and Co. made with her hair spray. Don't charge headfirst into a weapon you can't beat.

I fired.

Of course, I wasn't firing actual bullets. I didn't want to kill her, after all, but I was firing something just as destructive. You see, my minigun fired replicas of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, same ideas as the doubles of me that I had created, at the rate of six each every second. So you can imagine that after two seconds she was covered by dozens of each of the Crusaders who were chattering happily on top of her while she was flailing about. I powered down the gun and flew above her. She tried batting away the Crusaders but it was no use. Even these fake ones wanted to be Cutie Mark Crusaders hairdressers, and now there were tons of them messing with her mane.

Her screams as her mane was cut off echoed throughout the building as it was taken apart by my doubles. The very foundations began shaking as the level of chaos amplified, as only that many Cutie Mark Crusader and Mecha TDs can do. Eventually Mane Mare got most of them off and was stumbling around, trying to get her bearings. She was almost out, but not quite. She needed one more blow to stop her for good so that we could go home. With my widest grin the entire time, I materialized a pretzel cart. She screamed when she saw me lift it, but it was too late. I swung it down and knocked her out, stopping her for good.

I had won, and I was feeling pretty stoked about the whole thing. The chaos around me was fueling me energy like nothing else had for a long time. Dozens of mes and Cutie Mark Crusaders ran amok around me, tearing down the building that I was in. It made a guy feel alive. I raised my forelegs and hands to the heavens and materialized a voice changing box that I put next to my muzzle and let out a mighty roar, a Tyrannosaurus Rex roar, to be specific, as the entire building came crashing down around me.

When the dust settled, I stood there, victorious next to my vanquished foe. She laid there, still unconscious while the solar wind swept through my ethereal mane and tail. Rarity and Co. stared at me in open-mouthed wonder, and I kept the pose for a few more seconds before powering down the bracelets and walking over to them. I slipped the bracelets off and casually dropped them in front of Rarity.

"And that is what you can do when you have a little imagination."

We had been sucked right back out of the comic book after my awesome one-liner, which was fine by me. As cool as it was to do a little plot kicking, I was glad to be out. Of course, that meant that we had to go back to restoring the caste. However, given that I saved them, I convinced The Friendship Buddies that they needed a lesson on proper tactics. So there we were a week later with the six of them dressed in snarcasti-guard training armor. I was leading them to training grounds that I had set up for them. I hadn't told them what I was up to, so they had no idea whatsoever.

After about twenty minutes of walking, we reached the area of Baltimare that I had set up for them. It was a section of street almost exactly like the one in the comic, only this time it had a little change. In the middle of the road was a small fort of sandbags manned by Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids, both of whom were sporting smirks. They saluted me and I nodded back.

"Okay, girls, line up here." I pointed to a spot about thirty feet in front of the sandbags, right in the line of fire of a little device that I had built. "Right. So, as you can imagine, there were some issues with your tactics when fighting the villain."

"You mean Mane-iac?" Rarity asked.

"Yes. Her. Can you tell me what those issues were? Specifically with her hair spray weapon?"

The ponies looked confusedly at each other and I facehooved. "Okay, you'll get it. This is a frequent problem I've noticed when you've attacked, though, and it's going to get you into some serious trouble if you don't figure out a way to counter it. So..." I walked over to the device and patted it. To them it must have looked like a box with a hole on the side with a pellet belt that was fed into it. "This is a repeating paint pellet launcher. It fires paint pellets at the rate of three per second. What I want you girls to do is disable it. I've used my magic so that you can't disable it that way. You have to do it by taking out the operators. If one of you gets hit by it you have to start again. This is a very teamwork based exercise, by the way."

Now they looked even more confused. Twilight was the one to voice the confusion. "Uh, TD. Why exactly do we have to do this?"

I smirked and looked back over to Twilight. "Because when you're faced with a powerful weapon or being that you have to disable, you don't charge it head on."

Was I being cruel? Maybe I was, but they didn't complain. It took them four hours of repeated attempts, but eventually they managed to disable my paint pellet launcher. They were tired, dirty, paint splattered, sweaty, and I could tell that they wanted nothing more than to be home, but the look on their faces when they realized that they had taken out the fort, well... I think they walked away from this a lot smarter.

Author's Notes:

Saw this episode (really didn't care for it at all) and thought of this. I'm working on the next real chapter of this as we speak, I swear. If I don't have it out tonight, I'll have it out tomorrow. Back to the canon TDverse now. Pinkie Promise.

More Alicorn fan art here