“Come on, Tia, I’m sure you’ll love it!”

“No way, Luna! I’m not going to use it, and that’s final!”

“Oh, come on! Everypony is doing it! What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I don’t want to do it with you!”

“What? I’m just helping! You wouldn’t be able to pull it off without the assistance of my skilled hooves.”

Celestia looked up from the computer screen she was just staring at, a hard-pressed scowl on her face. “I can type just fine, thank you very much.”

Luna rolled her eyes and shoved Celestia to one side, her hooves working in a flurry of rapid click-clacks upon the keyboard. “It takes you all of five minutes just to type a single sentence, Tia. Move aside and let a professional show you how it’s done.”

Celestia glanced down at her hooves. “How are you even able to type so quickly with hooves?”

“It’s something called skill. Learn it sometime.”

The frown lines on Celestia’s forehead deepened. “Hey, no need to get smart with me. Who’s the older sister here?”

“Who’s the younger sister signing her older sister up on an online dating website?” Luna asked, turning back to Celestia with a smug grin. “That would be me.”

“I don’t even want to use this site!” Celestia swiveled around on her chair, turning her back to Luna. “If it wasn’t for your constant nagging, I never would have agreed to this!”

The sounds of keys clicking slowed momentarily. "Tia, sister, I love you dearly, but face it: you're lonely." Luna's intent stare never left the screen, and the sound of hooves striking keys resumed as quickly as it faltered. "Everypony needs a little bit of a love life; and yours has been nonexistent since this kingdom began."

“I’ve... just had more important things to do than pursue a relationship,” Celestia huffed, glancing over her shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of what Luna was typing.

“Which is why you have Twilight and myself here to take some of that load off of your back,” Luna said. “You need to live a little. What’s the point of being immortal if you can’t even enjoy your elongated life?”

“Hey, I’ve had plenty of enjoyment!”

"'Professional courtesans' don't count," Luna stated. She leaned back in her chair, critically eyeing her work so far, much like an artist might survey their latest masterpiece.

“Why can’t I just go into a bar and meet ponies normally?”

“Because you’re a princess, and any potential suitor would be intimidated as Tartarus to date you,” Luna pointed out. “Plus, there’s always the factor of them dying soon enough. And we all know how well you take losing loved ones.”

Now it was Celestia’s turn to roll her eyes. “I am no simple filly, Luna. I can handle death just fine.”

“Then please explain to me why you cried for nearly five years when your pet hamster died?” Luna asked with an amused expression on her face. “This would also explain why you got an immortal animal such as a phoenix as a pet, correct?”

Blushing slightly, Celestia rubbed her brow with a hoof and muttered, “Listen, let’s just get this over with, okay? If you really want me to try out this... immortal dating site, then fine, I’ll humor you.”

Luna clapped her hooves together in joy. “Wonderful! You’re just going to love what I did for your profile page!”

Celestia peered over Luna's shoulder at the page on the screen. “Why did you put my age as five-hundred and twenty-six years old?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. “I thought this was a dating website for immortals, so why should age matter?”

Luna shrugged. “Well, just because you’re old, doesn’t mean you have to say how old. This way you have a better chance with the younger immortals.”

“I think I’d have a better chance on a site that isn’t called notforeveralone.com,” Celestia deadpanned, her stomach knotting tightly at the prospect of continuing further with this charade.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, Tia,” Luna replied, scrolling down for more of Celestia’s profile to be shown.

Suddenly, a furious blush appeared on Celestia’s face as her eyes opened wide. “L-Luna, why are you using that picture?”

Luna’s eyes squinted as she stared at the profile picture. “What? It shows you off well enough.”

“It’s completely demeaning and utterly disregards the meaning of class!” Celestia said, her blush only growing stronger the longer she stared at the picture. “It’s on the verge of being pornographic. Where did you even get a picture of me dressed in… in... that? Also, how am I even able to stretch that far?”

“Oh, you ate too much rum cake at a Hearth’s Warming Eve party, and the outfit just somehow happened to be on hoof,” Luna giggled, egging Celestia on further. “Where somepony got a camera I’ll never know.”

Biting back a sharp retort, Celestia just glanced back at the screen to see what else Luna had written. “Let’s see... at least you got my hobbies right. Long walks on the beach, trying different flavored teas, getting my freak on with anyo–what the heck?”

“Oh, that's standard for profiles on this site. It'll attract more interest and make sure potential dates know you are open to suggestions,” Luna said dismissively, struggling to contain her laughter at the sight of Celestia’s jaw hanging wide open.

“This makes me look like a slut!”

“No, the picture does. The writing just further cements that.”

“You are so going to pay for this,” Celestia said through gritted teeth.

Pointing a hoof at the remainder of the bio page, Luna said, “No, I’m going to pay for this.”

“Oh... ugh... disgusting... shameful and... kind of sexy,” Celestia muttered, scrolling down to examine more of Luna’s hoofwork.

“Well, Tia, what do you think?” Luna asked with a huge grin on her face, practically bouncing in her seat.

“Well... you portray me as easy, but other than that... you got me down pretty well,” Celestia replied, tapping a hoof to her chin in thought. “Though I don’t think anyone is going to go with it. I mean, what’s so great about me?”

“Other than being a successful benevolent leader to a country and ruling it to prosperity, along with being a kind and amazing sister, then I’m not sure?” Luna asked, shooting a mischievous smile at Celestia. “Maybe it’s your copious posterior?”

“H-hey, my ass isn’t that big!” Celestia objected.

“Whatever you say, sister,” Luna giggled, giving Celestia’s profile one last look over to make sure it was good to go. “Just try to cut back on the sugary pastries, okay? You are trying to look appealing, you know.”

“I’ll lose weight once you get out of the castle and get some sun sometime,” Celestia said, crossing her forelegs with a devious smile on her face.

“...Point taken,” Luna said, clicking the submit button and leaning back in her chair in a satisfied stretch. “And done. Now all we got to do is sit back, relax, and most importantly, wait. Then the suitors will be rolling in.”

“Um, Luna, are you sure this is going to work out?” Celestia asked, her smile quickly fading to a dread-filled frown. “I haven’t been on an actual date in centuries. Much less with actual immortals.”

“It’ll be fine, Tia,” Luna said with a wave of her hoof. “For each date we’ll start off with something simple, like dinner. If you don’t like them, then you can always move onto the next one. There’s plenty of people to choose from.”

“Actually... how many immortals are in Equestria, anyway?” Celestia asked, the question finally dawning on her. “I know there couldn’t be too many to provide the need to make an actual website to create relationships with one another.”

“Well duh, of course there aren’t many immortals in Equestria,” Luna said. “This website runs on a multidimensional transit. Immortals from across dimensions regularly use this site for their needs.”

“So you’re saying immortals anywhere, even across different dimensions, could be my potential dates?” Celestia asked, her stomach sinking.

“Indeed. It helps in adding more variety. Plus, it increases your chance of getting some.” Suddenly, dinging noises could be heard from the computer monitor. Notifications were going off rapidly, a growing number increasing in the inbox. “And looks like that variety is paying off!” Luna laughed, opening up the mailbox to show all the new messages.

“A-all these people want to be my date?” Celestia asked, her throat suddenly dry at the prospect of so many suitors choosing her to go on a date with.

“They certainly do! I told you that photo and bio description would help!” Luna did a long whistle as the messages kept on stacking up, going to the triple digits. “Whoa, I guess the photo really was that suggestive.”

“What are we going to do now?” Celestia asked, the quickly growing number causing a cold sweat on the back of her neck. “I can deal with politics, social mannerism, and monthly invasions of the kingdom, but I have no idea how to handle internet dating!”

“Listen, Tia, just relax,” Luna tried to assure her, patting her sister’s shoulder with a gentle hoof. “Everything will be fine, and then you’ll finally meet the love of your life and get out of the castle every once in a while. You know, to go on dates and other romantic nonsense.”

“Wait a minute...” Celestia started, looking hard at her sister. “Is the only reason you wanted me to do internet dating is because you want the castle to yourself?”

“Uh... hey, look!” Luna said, drawing Celestia’s attention to the screen. “Why don’t we just start out with the first guy who messaged you and go on from there. At least one of these people will be your potential partner for never-ending life.”

“Okay, fine,” Celestia grunted, scooting up closer to the screen to see who was her first date. “But just because I’m going to be out on dates, it doesn’t mean you can throw wild parties in the castle.”

“Of course, dear sister,” Luna lied, clicking on the first message so the messager’s profile popped up.

Both sisters looked at the profile with wide eyes, a look of disbelief etched on their faces. “You got to be kidding me...” Celestia muttered.

“Well, that certainly is, uh, strange,” Luna said, on equal terms with Celestia’s level of confusion. “I certainly did not see that coming, that’s for sure.”

“So... do I actually go through with it?” Celestia asked.

“I guess? I mean, it’s only a first date. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU4BanL4yiU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaHmUy9dgS8