I considered my options after leaving Luna's bedroom. There wasn't anyone waiting for me outside, so I figured there wasn't anything urgent. I vaguely remembered Twilight mentioning something about something, but I couldn't remember what it was. By my reasoning, it must not have been very important if I couldn't be bothered to remember it. Either way, I had no idea where she'd gone off to, and I was mad at her to boot, so I saw no reason to actively seek her out. I also could have just gone back to my room, but that would mean more staring at the wall until either someone wanted me or lunch time came around.

'Well, I've got this great big palace to get hopelessly lost in. Perhaps some aimless exploration is in order.'

With that decision made, I set off. Although, getting myself hopelessly lost proved to be more difficult than expected. The two big Princesses' rooms shared a dead-end hallway (assuming by layout that the only other room belonged to Celestia). Beyond that, the layout was rather simple. I'd remembered passing two atriums with stairs on the way to and from breakfast, but hadn't gone up or down either of them. The dining room was pretty much right in the middle, presumably for the Princesses to dine privately with their personal guests. There were other hallways leading out from the atriums, but they seemed unremarkable, probably more rooms for the Princesses' more favored guests.

Finally bored of wandering around upstairs, I decided to try my luck downstairs. Sure, that meant I'd be risking more awkward pony interaction, but I'd rather deal with that than the suicidal boredom of waiting in my room for something to happen or someone to want something from me. At the bottom of the stairs, I picked a hallway and resumed my wandering.

As I walked, I startled at least a few of the guards, but they made no effort to impede my progress. When I asked one of them about it, he said that the guard was aware of my presence in the palace, but I walked much more quietly than he expected.

'Score one for soft feet.'

Eventually, I reached what must have been the entrance hall. It was another atrium, but instead of stairs to the upper levels, there was a giant door with more guards around it than I'd seen anywhere else in the palace. Across from that was another large door leading to what I decided was the throne room, if the number of guards inside and the dais at the far end was any indication.

I briefly considered looking around outside, but then I realized that while I could stick to the carpet inside, outside would be nothing but bare ground or stone pathways, and I wasn't quite ready to test that with my bare feet yet. Instead, I headed to the throne room.

There was a brief misunderstanding at the door with the herald, something about needing an appointment, among other things. After a little attitude adjustment, he was ready to announce my attendance to the royal court. A guard who had stepped away as soon as the argument started returned to inform us that Princess Celestia was ready to see me. I glanced up to see that she had indeed taken her place atop the dais.

'At least she has the decency to cross her legs.'

As instructed, the herald announced my entrance. "Presenting His Eminence, Sir Dick Willy Johnson, Emperor of the Pen Islands."

One of the guards flinched as I stepped right on past the point where the herald had wanted me to stop and kneel, but Celestia waved him off and gave me permission to approach. She maintained a neutral expression at least until I reached the top step and sat down about an arm's distance away from her, turning to face the room as I did so.

"Do you have an issue that needs my attention, Sir Johnson?" I could practically hear the smirk in her voice.

"Nah, I'm just bored," I replied. "No one was waiting for me when I got done with Luna, so I tried getting lost, but it didn't work."

"We genuinely meant it when we said you are not a prisoner. Besides, didn't Twilight say she had something for you?

"I think so, but I can't remember what. If it was so important, she could've waited for me outside Luna's room."

"Perhaps she expected you to return to your guest room? I believe she sent Pinkie Pie up there to wait."

"She expected wrong," I said flatly. "I don't plan to spend my time here as a shut-in."

"Even if our customs make you uncomfortable?"

"Luna's already given me plenty to think about on that front. I get that it's your world and your rules, and I can live with that. It's just..." I trailed off while considering my next words, "It's easier said than done. Now that I've had time to think it over, I get what you were all trying to do at breakfast. Individually, it was just a little flirting to try to lighten the mood and make me feel less awkward, and if it was just one or two of you, I might have handled it better, but with all seven of you doing it and Twilight acting like a ringleader, it's just overwhelming and has the exact opposite effect."

"Are you upset at Twilight?"

"Of course I am. She's most of the reason I'm stuck here, and on top of that, she keeps trying to order me around."

"Did you forget that my sister and I are also partially responsible?"

"No, but at least you two actually listen to me without interrupting. Luna seems to enjoy leaving me with riddles, but she doesn't mince words on the important stuff. Twilight, on the other hand, just decides things and acts like I'm the jerk for not going along with it. It's like she sees me as an inconvenience rather than a person with my own thoughts and opinions."

Celestia paused briefly before replying, "My sister has her reasons for approaching matters the way she does, but her story is not mine to tell. As for my student, would you like me to relay your message to her, or would you rather tell her yourself?"

I really should have seen that one coming. It was an obvious bait question, but there was no way in hell I would pass up the chance to give that pony a piece of my mind. "Where is she now?"

"Most likely in the banquet hall," Celestia replied. "That's where Twilight, her friends, and the rest of the palace staff have been practicing how to walk on two legs since every pony was transformed."

Rather than showing me the way personally, Celestia gave me directions to the banquet hall and sent a messenger up to my room to collect Pinkie Pie. Meanwhile, she went back to doing Princess stuff. The route was simple enough. If I'd continued my aimless wandering instead of dropping in on the Royal Court, I likely would have found my way there on my own. At least I had a purpose now.

The sight that greeted me when I arrived was a strange one to say the least. At first glance, one might have mistaken it for a bedroom supply warehouse given the number of mattresses and pillows piled up all over the place. Then, I finally saw Twilight and company practicing their bipedal gait in a sort of walking course between mattress mounds and pillow piles. I quickly learned the reason for all the bedding when Applejack tripped over herself and just barely managed to direct her fall enough to land on the nearest mattress.

Next up was Twilight. Since they hadn't noticed me yet, I quietly went to the nearest pillow pile and waited for her to start her walk. Then, I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at her. Since I was throwing from across the room, I missed horribly, which didn't surprise me in the least. It did, however, surprise its intended target, who jumped away from the impact point and landed on a nearby pillow mound.

"Using your wings is cheating!" I shouted at her.

"What? Since when?" inquired the incredibly irritated pony.

"Since half of your friends don't have them," I pointed out. "Celestia and Luna don't even flinch when they walk."

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have been around almost as long as our recorded history and have experienced things we can't even imagine."

"All of which are irrelevant to me," I proclaimed. Although, I made a mental note to ask about their ages later. "They are capable of walking without relying on their wings for balance. Therefore, you are capable of walking without relying on your wings for balance."

Our argument was interrupted by Applejack, "I hate to interrupt your bickering, but are you gonna help us learn to walk or not?"

"Well," I started to answer before pausing to think for a moment, "really all you can do is practice. There's not much for me to do other than supervise."

And supervise, I did. I watched each of them attempt a few more trips through their makeshift obstacle course before I got bored of throwing pillows at Twilight. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash also shifted their wings to adjust their balance, but it was very easy to find my attention directed elsewhere during their walks.

"Alright, I get it. You're mad at me," the purple one said after I'd finally managed to hit her with a pillow. "What do you want?"

"I want you to treat me like a person. I have my own thoughts and feelings about the situation I'm in. I'm fine with adjusting to an alien planet full of ponies who have no problem running around naked, but I'm not going to accept you just deciding without my input what I'm going to do about it. I may be a guest, but I'm not here of my own free will. I won't make unreasonable demands. I won't ask you to stop being you just for my sake, but I won't take orders either, and I won't stop being me just for your sake."

I knew I'd gotten my point across because by the time I finished chewing her out, Twilight's face could have gone in a picture dictionary under the word 'contrition', at least if I was reading her body language correctly. I was pretty sure that was what the scolded-child expression and and the folded back ears meant.

Satisfied from speaking my piece, I let the ponies continue their practice. Pinkie Pie eventually showed up, but when I wanted her to run the course, the others said she didn't need the practice.

"What do I win?" she asked, having completed the course while the others tried to argue with me. She didn't trip or even stumble, not even once.

"The right to supervise all future practice sessions," I replied. "Congratulations."

I then addressed the remainder of the breasts vying for my attention. "The pink one's in charge now. I'm taking a nap." At that, I got up and headed for the nearest pile of unused mattresses.

"But why?" came the inevitable objection from Twilight's general direction.

I had my answer ready before she even spoke up, "Because she has demonstrated that she is capable of walking around on two legs. There is nothing I could possibly tell you about it that she can't also tell you." As I pulled a mattress off the pile, I added one more thing just to rub it in, "And she doesn't even need wings to help balance herself."

Twilight just huffed at that and went back to her practice, yet another refusal to acknowledge that I'd won the round.

Upon my return to the waking world, I became aware of a hand gently stroking behind my ear and lightly playing with my hair. I also became aware of something sitting near my face. It wasn't touching me, but I knew it was there from how my pillow no longer sat level. Realizing it was probably one of the ponies, I thought about complaining, but that part of me was quickly shouted down by the more reasonable part. Whoever it was, their ear scratching abilities were top-notch, and the result made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I opened my eyes to see who my newfound company was, and all I saw was a wall of yellow with pink butterflies on it. After focusing my eyes to get a clearer view, I noticed the curves suggesting just enough firmness to hold the proper shape and just enough softness for all the squeezy, snuggly funtimes I could possibly desire. I briefly considered wrapping my arms around it, pulling it closer and burying my face in the fuzzy yellow and pink paradise.

'No, bad thoughts. Go away. You are not needed here.'

"Mghrhmm," I grumbled, eloquently indicating that I was now mostly awake and aware.

"Welcome back to Equestria," came Applejack's voice from some unknown direction.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked as I sat up, making sure to keep my covers wrapped around me. Not having clothes of my own would be so much easier if the locals' idea of room temperature weren't notably colder than mine. Then I would only have to worry about the basics.

"I reckon 'bout an hour judgin' by when you stared snoring."

"Lies," I replied. "I don't snore."

"And I don't lie. You ever come visit Ponyville, you ain't sleepin' at my place. With you and my brother sawin' logs, none of the rest of us would get any sleep."

I paid her no mind as I glanced around at my audience. "What are you all staring at?"

Rarity fielded that one, "Oh, we were just marvelling at how such a tall and indimidating figure as yours could be so adorable while sleeping."

I just glared at her.

"What? Too much?" she asked with just a bit too much innocence in her voice.

"Just a little," I replied. "Where are the others?"

"Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight all went ahead to make sure lunch is ready," Fluttershy answered. "We stayed to wake you up and see if you were hungry. I hope you don't mind."

Right on cue, my stomach answered her better than any words I could've come up with.

The walk up to the dining room was mostly uneventful, if a little slow. Watching the ponies trying to climb the stairs proved rather educational about just how difficult it was for them to adjust to their bipedal forms. I stayed at the bottom just in case any of them fell or otherwise needed assistance. I even managed to not let my eyes linger for an ungentlemanly length of time on any one set of lady bits. Before long, we were back at the dining room and taking our seats.

"I'm glad you decided to join us, Bill," Celestia addressed me almost as soon as I sat down. "I presume you've talked to Twilight about your thoughts on your treatment?"

"We've reached an understanding," I said simply.

"Good, because I have some news from the doctors about your test results."

"Then why isn't the doctor telling me about it in private?" I asked. "Or is doctor-patient confidentiality not a thing here either?"

"Not when it's a matter of sovereign interest, I'm afraid. Remember how we told you that we were far away from population centers when we attempted to open the portal to your world? Only Luna, Twilight and her friends, myself, and a select few guards were present for that. Yet the aftermath has affected every pony in Equestria. As Princess, it is my duty to ensure their well-being, and that gives me the right to know."

"Okay," I conceded grudgingly. "That excuses you, Luna, and Twilight, but what about these others?"

"Their level of involvement in the events leading up to your arrival also grants them need-to-know privilege."

I knew I was fighting a losing battle here, but that didn't mean I had to like it. "Who else needs to know?"

"The medical staff assigned to you, Luna and I, Twilight, and her friends all have need-to-know privilege, as well as Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire."

I frowned slightly at the disturbingly long list of ponies who would be privy to my medical status.

Twilight took my pause to ask a question, "Was the Crystal Empire affected too?"

"Yes," Celestia confirmed. "In fact, she's currently preparing for an emergency trip here to discuss it."

"Great," I butted back in. "More Princesses, just what I need right now. Is there any more royalty I need to know about?"

"None of any importance," Celestia said. "Now would you like to hear the test results or not? The doctor says he found a non-fatal way to extract the magic from you."

'Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Hallelujah, I'm going home!'

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's hear it!" I demanded, not bothering to restrain my enthusiasm.

"Alright, alright. I can see you're eager to find out. Let's see," Celestia paused while turning to the correct page in what I assumed to be the doctor's report. "The report says that the sperm sample was the only one that yielded any significant amount of the magic locked inside the patient's body. Recommend regular stimulation to climax as frequently as the patient's physiology will allow."

That wiped the smile off my face almost immediately. Glancing around, I noticed I wasn't the only one sporting a red face either. Meanwhile, alarm bells sounded alongside visions of Nurse Joy's insta-cum spell flashed through my mind. The pain from that was still fresh in my memory.

'Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! Not gonna happen! Anything but that!'

I closed my eyes, took several deep breaths, counted to ten forwards and backwards in my head, and I still couldn't calm myself down after what I'd just heard. What should have been good news turned out to be the exact opposite.

A voice spoke up from my left side, just barely audible enough to register what was said, "Umm, Bill? Are you alright?"

I looked up and saw Fluttershy and the others giving me concerned looks. "I'll be fine," I sighed.

"Ya don't look fine," came Applejack's voice from my other side.

"Just give me a minute," I snapped back.

I closed my eyes again and tried to tune out the looks undoubtedly directed my way while I tried desperately to collect my thoughts. Silence reigned for what felt like several minutes.

"Can I just ask one thing from all of you?" I finally asked.

I didn't look up or even open my eyes, but everyone else in the room voiced their general assent.

"Don't tell anyone else," I said simply. In truth, I was affording them way more trust than I was ready to, but I just didn't have any other choice. If the powers in charge of this world had decided that they needed to know, then it was far too late for me to say otherwise. Still, I could try to control the damage.

"You have our word," Celestia said with surprising finality. "Except for those I've already mentioned, no pony will learn of this."

The conviction in Celestia's voice caught me off guard for a moment, but I recovered enough to reply, "Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd like your word in writing."

Unlike breakfast, lunch was somewhat subdued by a strange combination of tension and awkward silence. Although, given the bombshell recently dropped, that wasn't exactly surprising. I'd almost completely lost my appetite, but I still nibbled on a few assorted things. I excused myself early and went straight to my room thinking it would help clear my head if I was alone for a while.

I sat on my bed facing the balcony with the covers wrapped around myself and over my head. I don't know how long I'd actually been sitting there, but I wasn't any closer to sorting my thoughts out than I was before.

"Hey Richard," I heard Twilight call out from the door.

"What do you want?" I snapped. "I'd rather be alone right now if you don't mind."

"I'm just here to let you know my offer from this morning still stands. Just because we found one way to release the stored magic doesn't mean we stop looking for better ways."

"Wait, what?" Confused, I turned to address my visitor more directly. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you forget already? This morning I offered to help you try something that might fix this mess a lot quicker."

"Let's hear it then."

"Well, I figured that since you have all that magic sitting inside of you, the simple and obvious solution would be to see if you could cast it."

Simple and obvious: those two words that rarely describe solutions to complicated problems filled my mind with suspicion. However, it was also just crazy enough to work. Really, it could go either way.

"I'm listening. How do I cast magic?"

"It's not that simple," Twilight answered. "Since you've probably never done anything like this, we have to approach it like you're a novice, which means you have to clear your mind in order to properly concentrate."

My whole body sank at that revelation. "I've been trying to do just that for I don't even know how long now."

"Maybe I can help. When I was a little filly first learning to control my magic properly, Princess Celestia showed me a few relaxation techniques."

"Like what?"

"Umm, well," she hesitated, "I'm not sure about the best position for this body, but the idea is to concentrate on matching your breathing with mine. I think it would be best if you turned back around."

"Okay," I said. I wasn't sure where she was going with this, but I did as instructed. I only got more nervous when I felt her weight join mine on the bed, and before I could process that, I felt myself wrapped in an embrace from behind. The warmth was certainly not unwelcome, but the sudden physical contact and the mental image of what was now pressed against my back definitely had the opposite effect from what was likely intended. The conflicting thoughts set my heart into overdrive. I could almost feel it trying to pound its way out of my chest.

Thankfully, Twilight seemed to realize her mistake before I had to point it out. "Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to startle you like that. Would there be a better position to try this in?"

Pulling my mind out of the gutter for a moment, I replied, "Back-to-back maybe?"

There was a pause while she shifted herself around. There was another pause before she finally spoke up again, "Okay, this might sound like a silly question, but how do you fold your legs when you sit down like that? You've always kept them under your blanket when you sit down, so I haven't gotten a good look at it."

"You just cross your legs in front of you," I said, not having realized before that something I took for granted would cause this kind of trouble.

As she shifted around some more, I could just hear her mumbling something about Pinkie being right again. Eventually, she settled down and leaned her back up against mine. "Huh, this is actually more comfortable than I thought."

"So I'm just supposed to match my breathing to yours?" I asked, hoping to nudge Twilight back to the topic at hand.

"Yes, but I have to warn you about something. I don't want you to get your hopes up too high on this working, especially not the first time. The chances of you actually being able to cast magic are very slim."

Well that was a definite confidence booster. "Why?"

"It's because of where you came from, the reason why your world drew our interest in the first place."

"Why didn't you mention this before?" I asked.

"You interrupted. After that, there were too many other things to worry about."

"We have time now," I pointed out.

"Well," she began. "To put it simply, your world shouldn't be able to support complex life with such low amounts of ambient magic, let alone intelligent life capable of building a civilization. Your Sun is too close to the galactic center to benefit from the magic that's mostly concentrated in the outer arms."

The reasoning was simple enough once I thought about it for a moment. Since Earth didn't have anywhere near the amount of ambient magic as Equestria, it only followed that no creature from Earth would adapt to take advantage of it.

That still didn't stop Twilight from trying to explain how to try and connect my mind to the pool of it now inside of me. The problem came up when I couldn't understand what I was supposed to feel when I did. I just had no concept to go on.

Our conversation eventually drifted back to the subject of differences between our worlds. Apparently, when Twilight and Luna discovered our world, it turned everything they thought they knew about where life could come from on its head. From my perspective, it was a bit weird to think that humans and other life on Earth would be considered extremophiles by an alien race. It even made the blatant recklessness of trying to open an artificial wormhole between worlds understandable. If it hadn't been me on the short end of the stick, I might have even found it forgivable. In any case, once the effects of the initial failure were dealt with, academics from both worlds would have a field day learning from and about each other.

Unfortunately, apart from improving my mood, not much else was accomplished. I was no closer to casting magic than I was when I woke up from the botched sleep spell. Still, I made Twilight promise not to give up. Strangely, when she did promise, she recited some strange little rhyme and went through an even stranger pantomime that culminated in her punching herself in the face.

After that, she left to go get ready for dinner, which would be in the banquet hall rather than the dining room for some reason. My stomach loudly reminded me of how I'd neglected its needs at lunch, but I had some time to wash up first. I decided that at the very least, a shower was in order.

The sight that greeted me when I made it down to the banquet hall was definitely not what I expected. All the pillows and mattresses had been cleaned up and neatly stacked along the walls where they would be out of the way. There were now two tables near the center of the room, one covered with food and one with assorted drinks. I might have done a double-take at the party decorations scattered about if I hadn't noticed something else.

Applejack was the first to notice me staring. "Howdy, Bill. What do ya think?"

What I was thinking was a complete mystery to me at that moment due to a temporary shutdown of my mental faculties. All of the ponies had wrapped themselves in what might have been bedsheets at some point in the past but had since been cut down to something that could be said to resemble togas. Granted, one would have to take a certain degree of license with the definition of 'toga', but one generally doesn't nitpick these sorts of things when in the company of well-endowed female humanoids.

I eventually regained enough thought processes to form a coherent response, "Uhh, what is all this?"

"It's a toga party, silly." In my speechlessness, I hadn't noticed the pink one close in on me from the other side, and I nearly jumped out of my nonexistent shoes when she answered my question. "Juuuust like what you told us about this morning. I set up the party decorations, and Rarity made the togas. I thought about making it a surprise toga party, but then I realized you were probably EXPECTING a surprise party, so I didn't."

Pinkie kept rambling on, but I tuned her out while slowly increasing the distance between her and myself. Incidentally, that put me within hailing distance of the toga-maker herself.

"Pinkie and I thought after this morning that if we wanted to make you feel welcome here, we should try and do it in a way that makes you feel more comfortable around us, and if us being naked was making you think inappropriate thoughts, perhaps we could have a welcoming party where we all wear clothes like you're used to."

I remained speechless. Sure, I appreciated the gesture, but I couldn't really put words to what I was thinking at the time. Technically, what they were wearing could be called 'clothes', but it was also clear that Rarity and the others had different ideas than I did about what to cover and what not to cover.

Her own getup was a prime example. She'd wrapped the main part around her midsection and tucked a strip down the middle in front, giving the impression of a very high-cut dress (at least the front part of one). Up top, she had the sheet draped over one shoulder, which left her boobs in a sort of one in, one out arrangement.

The others were mostly similar in that they could almost be considered decent by human standards in one part only to leave it wide open somewhere else. This had the peculiar effect of making it even weirder than if they had just been naked.

After the exchange of pleasantries, I beelined for the drinks table to find an anchor for sanity. Whatever the next couple hours held in store, I was sure of one thing.

'I do not want to be sober for this.'

Two drinks later, I was back in the familiar, almost comfortable, territory of arguing with Twilight. "Okay, so when you make the portal or wormhole or whatever, you have to have an anchor on the other side to stabilize the connection. How is it that you can't tell if what you're anchoring to is an inanimate object or a living person?"

Unfortunately, her way of answering questions involved incomprehensible lectures about magic flux and signatures. We had already established that I had no basis for understanding on such topics.

A pink hand found its way into my line of sight. "Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Yes, Pinkie?" I played along after finishing another drink.

"It's like reaching into a bag of candy," she said, brandishing a bag of candy as she spoke. I tried not to think about where it came from while she continued. "You can look into the bag and see all the different colors, but when you reach inside, you can't feel the colors, and your hand is blocking your view, so you can't see what you get until you pull it out. See?"

I did, in fact, see. She demonstrated it. "Okay, now I get it, the demonstration wasn't exactly necessary though."

"True, but now I have a bag of candy. Want some?"

Some time later, I had enough social lubricant in me to not care that the ponies' botched attempt at clothing themselves had backfired and made things even more awkward. So what if Celestia's toga only failed the human decency test because it was made out of the same see-through material that the curtains around my guest bed were. It was damn sexy, and that was fine by me.

Eventually, though, the party wound down. After all, tomorrow promised to be another busy day. Rarity reminded me of her intention to take me somewhere to get proper clothes made. Twilight said she'd help me try to find better ways of getting all that sequestered magic out of me. Finally, Celestia mentioned there would be a surprise waiting for me at breakfast in the morning. All things considered, I was about as close to my happy place as I ever expected to get.

As the others were heading off to bed, I noticed that Rainbow Dash was hanging back, alternating glances at me and at her friends as they progressed down the hallway. She gestured to me once they had gotten far enough away for her satisfaction. I hadn't actually talked to her very much since I'd woken up in this world, but I had a good guess of where this was going. It appeared that bedroom eyes were universal, even on alien planets.

"Sooooo," she drew out the 'o' in the standard suggestive manner.

"What," I interrupted in a deliberate attempt to throw off her game.

"Oh, you know," she continued undeterred. "I was just thinking. Now that we know how to get the magic out, we could have a little fun while getting us what we both want."

"And what is it that we both want?" I may have been drunk, but I was no dumbass. I just had to be sure.

"Don't play dumb," Rainbow Dash chided. "You want to go home, and I want my pony body back." Then, she switched to a more playful voice, "And as a bonus, we each get to be the first of our kind to do it with an alien from another planet."

If I had been a more philosophical or introspective drunk, I might have debated the morality of sexual contact with intelligent non-humans. I might have noted the possibility of the morality police objecting to the fact that we had both spent the past few hours loading up on liquid courage. I could have even raised concerns that we had just met barely more than 24 hours prior when I came out of my spell-inflicted coma.

However, I was not a philosophical or introspective drunk, and the only thing going through my mind was, 'What would Shepard Commander do?' Unfortunately, the obvious answer of, 'all of them, at the same time,' wasn't on the list of things I thought I could pull off, so I settled with what was offered instead.

I just hoped my plans wouldn't be thwarted by whiskey dick at the worst possible moment.

I followed Rainbow Dash on the way to her room. This time, rather than pretending to be a gentleman, I took great interest in the scenery. Aside from the two large wings growing out of her shoulders and back, the rainbow-haired pony-woman had a rather petite build. However, that didn't mean she lacked for curves where it mattered. In the meantime, I'd lowered the waistband on my boxers and set my hands to work doing just what the doctor ordered under the cover of my blanket. After all, I was still feeling a little rebellious about my circumstances.

Once again, I waited at the bottom of the stairs while my companion made her way up, and once again, I took the time to enjoy the view of her perfectly proportioned posterior. I may be a breast-oriented man, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a nice ass when I see one. I rested one hand on the banister while using my other hand to tickle the soft spot underneath where the tip met the shaft, continuing to work myself up for what I had planned.

Finally, we arrived at Rainbow Dash's guest room. She grinned at me coyly as I dutifully shut the door behind myself. She knew she was putting on a show for me, and she made the most out of it as she slowly removed and discarded her 'toga' on one of the chairs. Her breasts were definitely the smallest of the ones I'd seen so far, but I didn't care. I'd always considered shape to be the most important thing, and hers were still beautifully round and squeezable by any standard.

Under my blanket, I'd switched to using both hands to work the tip in alternating strokes. I knew I was close because I could feel the anticipation starting to dribble out the end.

Rainbow sat herself down on the bed and gave me the 'Come hither' look. "Don't chicken out on me now. Let's see it."

Smirking slightly at her challenge, I wordlessly opened my own covering and left it on a sofa as I made my way over. In our privacy, I no longer felt the need to conceal myself.

"Now that's what I'm talking about." After voicing her approval, she turned over and presented herself for my access. "Hard and fast, please."

"Sure thing," I said, giving myself a few more pumps before lining up my entry. I briefly thought about playing the 'Oops, wrong hole' game, but I figured one prank was enough for this one.

Sliding myself in, I was reminded that despite outward appearances, alien anatomy was very different from that of a human. For the first thrust, I went a little slower to savor the sensations. As I went in deeper, I could feel her sides contracting and pulling me in further, and when I pulled outward, she resisted my motion, which helped my cause even more. I was already close to going off when I first inserted myself, and as a result, it only took a few more quick thrusts to get my release.

I came inside Rainbow Dash.

"I win!" I declared as I finished. I let the last few spurts inject more of my juice into her nethers before withdrawing.

"What?! That's it?" she asked frantically, clearly not enjoying the prank as much as me.

"Eeyup," I replied with a satisfied grin on my face.

"Then do it again, and this time don't leave me hanging like that."

"No can do," I replied. "It'll take at least a couple hours before I can fire off another one, and I plan to be asleep by then."

I got dressed and headed back to my own room for the night. I knew there would be fallout from my little prank, but I'd already decided that was future Bill's problem.