Conventional wisdom advises never to share a bed with someone who weighs more than you can bench press. Conventional wisdom never met Princess Celestia or her sister.

Princess Celestia was in my bed. This overture was the latest in a series of escalating advances since I'd stumbled sideways out of Luna's bed just a couple days ago. I couldn't exactly do anything about it, though. Whatever Luna did that had allowed me to fuck forty copies of her in one go didn't come without a price. I couldn't get it up even if I wanted to, and there were plenty of times I'd wanted to.

The first day, after falling asleep with my head firmly embedded in Luna's chest, I woke up some time before dawn to an empty, and completely clean, bed. Either I was so far gone that someone had changed the sheets without disturbing me, or magic was involved, but that didn't matter. I'd regained enough control over my legs to pick a spot on the other side of the room and stagger in that general direction. My target for this first excursion just happened to be the big royal bath. I needed to clean myself up anyway, and I didn't feel quite ready to make the trip back to the guest rooms. Might as well take advantage of it while I could.

With my bath accomplished, I felt a little better, but still a bit unsteady on my legs. Luna had really done a number on me. Exhaustion and hunger both clamored for my attention. I decided to check the dining room for any remains of breakfast; it was on the way in any case.

I barely made it a few paces down the hallway before Celestia ambushed me from around a corner. My face found her fluffy funbags for a friendly fit of fuzzy friction as she pulled me in for a surprise bear hug. I didn't have the energy to resist even if I'd wanted to. I'd been waiting to motorboat those massive mammary mounds ever since she'd shipped me out of town.

Without saying anything, she swept me off my feet, carrying me like a hero might carry his damsel in the movies, and I couldn't help but feel a bit miffed at that. It was all backwards. The Princess wasn't supposed to carry her beau. My dirty looks went entirely unheeded as she carried me to my room and put me to bed, where breakfast awaited. She served me, much to my confusion, and just smiled at me in response to anything I said.

'She can certainly be as annoying as her sister when she wants to.'

By day two, I'd finally recovered enough to wander around the Palace grounds without tripping over my own feet. I spent the afternoon aimlessly exploring the statue garden and getting myself hopelessly lost in the hedge maze.

Once again, the white Princess ambushed me, this time descending from above and cornering me in one of the many dead ends. Once again, I greeted her great gratuitous gazongas while wrapped tightly in her arms and wings.

This time, Celestia led me to a nearby gazebo which, completely coincidentally and not at all set up ahead of time, just happened to have a pair of mugs and a hot kettle steaming in the cold, crisp air. I kept my mouth shut this time, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of letting my frustration show as she poured hot cocoa into both of our mugs.

I lean against the Princess to stay warm as we drank in amicable silence. Her wing wrapped around me, providing an added layer of protection from the chill. The gazebo sat in an isolated clearing well away from the maze entrance, and the hedges rose high enough behind us that no one in the Palace would spot us. We could do whatever we wanted there, and we would be the only ones who would ever know.

Too bad my dick hadn't yet gotten back with the program. Even with Celestia's ravishing royal rack mere inches away, I couldn't even get it up to half mast, let alone a full boner.

Once we'd finished our cocoa, Celestia stood up. I leaned forward to follow suit, but she had other ideas, turning and pushing me back against the railing. I opened my mouth to protest, but any words I might have said were quickly blocked by her tongue as she bent down and kissed me hard and passionate. Caught off guard, I almost tried to pull away, but I remembered myself and kissed back. Her mouth still tasted of chocolate. Secretly, I'd been fantasizing about something like that since watching her with Applejack all those weeks ago.

As the minutes passed, our making out slowly became less wild and rough. The kisses got more tender and loving until each one was little more than a gentle brush of the lips. The Princess sat on the floor and pulled me into her lap facing her. I tried to speak again, but she put a finger over my lips, smiled that annoyingly seductive smile of hers that arrested all rational thought, and kissed me one more time.

I was treated to another bout of bosom burrowing before being abandoned with my thoughts again as Celestia took off back in the direction of the Palace.

Back in the present, the two of us lay mere inches apart on the massive bed. From what I could tell in my groggy, post-waking haze, she'd slipped under the covers with me and had been watching me sleep as the Sun rose.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it's the breasts or the butt or the legs or some combination of physical attributes that makes a woman attractive. A lot of people are wrong. All that stuff is just furniture that helps get attention. A body that gets attention isn't much good without eyes that can keep it.

Celestia had a hot body, no question, but her eyes could melt steel. I had to stick my face into her chest just to avoid getting lost in those deep magenta pools that promised anything I wanted, even the kind of things that would be illegal if the kind of people who passed those kinds of laws had that kind of imagination. I also liked being between big boobs.

"You're finally awake," she said with no small hint of amusement.

"You're finally talking." My brain still hadn't fully caught up with events and arrived just a split second too late to stop my mouth from saying things.

"I just thought I'd check in on you."

I pulled back to risk a look at her face. "And?"

She stuck an inquisitive hand down my boxers and began rummaging. If only I could have something ready for the increasingly forward Princess to rummage for. "I think, maybe," she paused. "Yes, tomorrow evening would be a good time." She gave me one of those disconcerting smiles of hers that were impossible to read as she withdrew her hand.

Mind: willing
Flesh: weak
Hashtag: FantasyWorldProblems

With absolutely no regard for such trivialities as mood or atmosphere, my stomach grumbled. I gave an embarrassed look at Celestia, whose expression remained unchanged.

Awkward silence filled the room. The Princess kept smiling. Deep inside my own mind, embarrassment fueled the beginnings of a mental breakdown. Once I'd stewed long enough, she broke the silence.

"A little breakfast in bed to sate your appetite?" She slowly pushed herself up, spreading her wings to lift the covers across the entire width of the bed. For a glorious but brief moment, I could see everything as she climbed over on top of me and gently lowered herself.

"Uhh, I..." I managed, at a complete loss for words. Above me, Celestia massaged her magnificent melons meaningfully. There was a light glow of magic, and her already ample bosom hung just a tiny bit heavier. The difference was so small, that an observer would have to be right up close to notice anything.

"No more talking," was the last thing I heard before a bountifully big, bouncing breast filled my mouth.

It was something I'd fantasized about while suckling savory sweater stuffers in several of my sex sessions, but I never expected it to actually happen. It's not supposed to happen, and if it does, it's not supposed to taste that good. That's what fantasies are for.

Nourishing nipple nectar dribbled down the sides of my mouth and down my arms as I squeezed with my hands, drawing out the warm, sweet goodness faster than I could chug it down. Parts of my conscious mind dutifully reported that I was being lifted and seated upright against the headboard while Celestia hovered over my lap and held me close. Other parts of my consciousness dutifully filed that information away as secondary background details, irrelevant in the bigger picture of me having gigantic, juicy jugs dripping in my face. I had priorities to deal with.

My enthusiasm for my bosom-borne breakfast worked against me. I drank my fill far too quickly to enjoy the experience properly, only swapping left and right a few times to balance things out. Celestia had an extra surprise for me on that front. Every time I switched, she changed the flavor, presumably because if you're going to play around like that, you might as well go nuts if you can. And go nuts, she did, with flavors like chocolate, coffee, cola, and beer. I ran out of room to see what else she could do, and by the end, more of it was going down my chin, neck, and arms than in my mouth. We'd made quite a mess of the bed in a short time.

I rested my face in the royal rack as the Princess held one of my arms up to lick off the excess boob juice. A tickling sensation ran up and down my back and sides as Celestia cast a cleaning spell on the sheets, thus sparing me some awkward questions from housekeeping. More importantly, my warm, soft snuggle space was clean again for further snuggling. I wouldn't admit it publicly, but I take my snuggles very seriously.

On her way out, the Princess invited me to a special private dinner later in the evening. I was also advised to not make plans for the afternoon due to how a certain someone would react when she caught wind of it. Not like I would've had plans anyway. I was basically on my own for entertainment in a place where I couldn't leave the premises without an escort, and I had no idea what was where in town. I could ask a guard to recommend a local watering hole, but I got much more satisfaction from raiding the Princesses' booze stashes hidden all over the palace. I figured I'd put off planning my day for later. The bed might have been clean, but Celestia, as attentive as she'd been with her tongue, had still managed to miss a couple spots. I moseyed into the bathroom to take a shower and generally freshen myself up. Being stuck on an alien planet is no reason to be a slob, especially not when escape depended on my sex appeal, and I still needed as much as I could get.

The Princess must have tipped off that certain someone, because Rarity stood waiting for me just outside my door. Arms folded across her chest, she eyed me critically with the air of a woman who would have her way regardless of my thoughts on the matter. I argued, made excuses, and eventually caved after giving a socially acceptable amount of token resistance to the inevitable. Everyone knows how these things end, but there are rituals that must be observed. Simply going along without a fight would be an egregious breach of protocol.

Of all the ponies I'd gotten to know during my stay in Equestria, Rarity was definitely one of the more predictable ones. Walking together through the streets of Canterlot, she only had to correct me a couple times where I'd made wrong turns. It wasn't long before we made it to Fleur's tailoring shop. The proprietress greeted Rarity with a smile and a hug, and me with a slightly more enthusiastic embrace with extra emphasis on the airbags. Predictable doesn't have to be unpleasant. Assured that I was under the supervision of a capable, trustworthy chaperone with whom absolutely nothing inappropriate would happen, Rarity left on errands of her own.

Fleur had been suspiciously well-prepared for my arrival. Custom made tuxedos don't just conveniently appear on short notice in a world where only a few weeks before, tuxedos didn't exist, at least not for human-shaped people. She even had it on a mannequin of roughly my size and shape. I tried it on and endured the poking, prodding, and groping as the seamstress inspected her handiwork, tutting to herself as she made notes on where it had to be taken in or let out.

The alterations didn't take long, and I soon passed inspection with flying colors. I had a brand new, custom made tuxedo just in time for an occasion on which to wear it. I had objected to the tails, though. Fleur insisted, saying that tails were all the rage at the moment. I treasured my ignorance of the local fashion trends and, therefore, kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't due back at the Palace for a few more hours, so Fleur decided to pass the time with a little walking tour of Canterlot. I changed out of the tux to keep it from getting dirty before my big dinner date with the Princess and waited outside while my unicorn friend locked up.

I let her lead me through the market district, stopping to browse the wares at some of her favorite shops, introduce me to some of her other friends we happened to come across, or point out some interesting bit of decorative architecture. For my part, I just relaxed and took it all in. It was a nice day out, if a little on the cold side; I was meeting nice people; and I had a gorgeous tour guide who loved her neighborhood and loved showing it off. Though, she did have a weird habit of suddenly changing her position and posture next to me, like she was posing for some unseen photographer who would use the pictures in a magazine ad or something. Not that I was about to complain. Sure, she could get pretty provocative, and the setting was a bit public for my liking, but I quickly noticed that no one really seemed to care. It must've been a cultural thing.

We swung through a more historic part of the city for more touristy attractions and still had some time to kill before I had to go back to the Palace. Absolutely nothing inappropriate happened, and when Rarity came to pick me up, we were sipping hot cocoa and making small talk.

Back in my guest room, I stood in front of a mirror and inspected myself in my brand new tux. To give credit where it was due, Fleur certainly knew how to make a guy look good, though the style may have come from about two centuries ago on Earth. Thankfully, no one tried to force a hat on me. The bowtie was bad enough. Not that I didn't like the look, I just never liked the concept of ties in general, lengths of fabric looped around a guy's neck and then tied into a knot. To top it all off, the only reason for getting so dressed up was for my impending dinner date with Celestia. Having grown up in a family where my parents worked for a living, it felt wrong to wear such nice clothes to dinner for anything other than a wedding reception, and even then, I'd have to take it back afterwards. Sure, she was a Princess, and an intimate dinner with royalty definitely counts as a Special Occasion, but I got the distinct impression she wouldn't care if I showed up naked. In fact, she might possibly prefer it if I was any good at judging character.

The time came, and moping around wondering who the hell I thought I was fooling wasn't getting me anywhere, so I headed to the dining room. On my lonely walk through the silent, empty halls, I dealt with all the internal second-guessing most people go through before a big date. Was my collar straight? Were my pants staying up? Was that my hair blowing out of place? That sort of thing. Nerves have a way of always being so helpful at the worst of times.

'Just remember, tomorrow's date will be far more intimate and require less clothing.'

As I entered the dining room, the doors shut themselves behind me. It must've been magic because I hadn't seen anybody outside or roaming the halls on the way from my room. The chandeliers that normally lit the room were gone, as was the long table where I usually shared meals with Twilight and her friends. Instead, a small, square table occupied a corner of the room with a few candles on it. More candles around the room provided an ambience that made the room somehow feel a lot smaller than it actually was. The bright gallery for a dozen had become a dimly lit hideaway for two.

"You're early." She didn't make any kind of entrance. She was just suddenly there, where she hadn't been just a moment before. "How have you been?"

"I've been alright," I said reflexively. Then I turned to face her and saw the look she was giving me. This was no time for the little white lies people tell each other out of automatic politeness. She wanted a real answer. She actually cared. I took a deep breath and amended my reply. "Scratch that. I think I'm in a fantasy world."

"Why do you say that?"

"Six weeks ago, you let me out into your world to have as much sex as I wanted with no consequences in a free-love paradise inhabited by women who I, personally, would describe as pornography on legs. Since I got back, I've already done it with your sister, and now I'm getting ready to do it with you." I sighed. "Honestly, I don't know what to do with myself."

The Princess stepped closer, letting me see her better in the dim candlelight. Rarity had outdone herself. She had taken my suggestion about subtlety and ran with it. At first glance, her gown made her look like a winged, disembodied bust floating several feet off the ground. On closer inspection, as my eyes adjusted to the low light, the fabric had an almost identical color to the flickering background shadows. She and Rarity must have arranged that on purpose. The gown itself covered pretty much everything but clung tightly to every curve, which made the Princess look all the more enticing because I knew exactly what was underneath. It felt kinda weird that she seemed more attractive covered up than when she was naked, but after weeks of being surrounded by nudity, it might just have been the novelty of seeing someone in relatively modest dress more than anything else. I had a similar feeling about her hair. Her multicolored mane blowing in a nonexistent breeze stood out big time when I first saw it, and then it faded into the background as I got used to it, not worth mentioning until it was suddenly different. She'd separated the color bands and tied them together, letting the single braid hang loosely over her shoulder as a pony tail.

"Isn't that what you want?" she asked sweetly, reaching out to place a hand on my shoulder.

"Would you believe me if I said, 'No?'"

"I'd take you at your word."

Her odd phrasing made me hesitate. "That's not the same thing," I pointed out.

She took her place at the dinner table as our meals magically appeared out of thin air. "You seemed willing enough so far. I've never been refused, but unlike my sister, I prefer my lovers to have a little more confidence when they enter my chambers. She likes to seduce quickly. I like to take my time and enjoy a little more foreplay."

Our conversation drifted away from awkward topics as we ate. Celestia took a keen interest in my life on Earth before I got dragged out of my bed and into Equestria. She wanted to know who I was (just some guy trying to get through school) and if I had a special somebody waiting for me back home (no, I chose grades and sleep over a social life). I tried to learn more about her, but she deflected on anything more personal than what she did for fun (playing small practical jokes on Palace guards and staff with occasional matchmaking on the side, though Cadance was much better at the latter). She wanted to know about my goals in life and how they might be affected by my time away from home. I just wanted to get a job that would challenge me intellectually and where I could create things that make life easier for people, and absolutely not in any way involve me in international intrigue between two completely different civilizations on two different planets. I was very definite on that second point. Fun and adventure are for vacations. Everyday life should be boring and predictable, and I won't hear any arguments to the contrary.

Soft music began playing as we finished eating and our conversation died down. There was no band playing that I could see, so it was probably magic again. Celestia stood up, and gestured for me to follow. I gulped. To a guy like me, the only thing more terrifying than a beautiful woman offering to fulfill all my wildest fantasies with no strings attached was the prospect of dancing with such a woman. I didn't sign up for that.

I was encouraged several times to not be so shy; getting up to dance, putting my hands in the right place, learning a new step, learning to lead a simple waltz. Each insurmountable hurdle slowly became slightly less insurmountable as I got more comfortable and the drinks kicked in. Princess Celestia danced with all the grace and elegance of a practiced master. I did my best to not embarrass myself too bad. After about an hour or so, it was time to say good night. I still didn't trust dancing, but I wasn't as intimidated by the company as I had been before. It helped that it was just the two of us alone. I'll take small victories where I can. It would've been less weird if she hadn't insisted on carrying me back to my room, though.

I slept in the next morning. I only had one thing on the agenda for the day, and that wasn't until after dinner. Just thinking about it got me going. At least the equipment was ready to go finally, but it wouldn't be needed until later. A quick, chilly shower helped calm the jitters for the time being.

I'd missed breakfast, but I'd made it late enough to grab a light early lunch while Rarity and Applejack discussed matters of business intrigue at the other end of the table. They acknowledged me as I walked in but didn't say much outside the usual pleasantries. All told, nothing worth mentioning happened before dinner. The upshot of not having anything to do all day was that I could stay in my PJ's. Rarity tutted reproachfully at my disheveled appearance at dinner, but I wasn't there to impress anyone. Celestia hadn't been around since breakfast according to Twilight. I did, however, stop by my room to clean myself up afterward. It's only polite to show up to a booty call bathed and presentable.

When the designated hour arrived, I made my way to the royal apartments where the Princess awaited. She didn't meet me in the front area where we'd had our sessions before my trip to Ponyville but rather, she'd left a note instructing me to leave my clothes behind and find her in her bedroom. The side passage that I thought just led to the bath turned out to be a small corridor, and a bright light at the end beckoned. The death metaphor could've been intentional or accidental, assuming ponies even shared that particular imagery.

Some sights will make a person wonder, "How the hell did they do that?" Others will make them feel that the world is a better place for the existence of such things. What I saw in Celestia's inner sanctum would fit right in the overlap of those two categories. The term 'pillow fort' felt inadequate to describe the soft citadel of sheets and stuffing that filled the room. Easily the size of a small house, it looked more like a castle with its turrets and high walls.

I just barely caught a glimpse of the Princess at the very top before an expertly aimed cushion smacked me in the face, nearly knocking me off my feet.

"Come and get meeee!" she taunted in a singsong voice, hurling another missile as I recovered. I only needed to cover about twenty feet to reach the safety of the entrance, but the relentless bombardment from above hampered my progress. For every step forward, I took two to the side while ducking and dodging to the best of my ability. Even then, half the flying pillows found their mark. A pair of shams whizzed overhead as I made my last dive for cover.

"I'm waiting," Celestia called out again. She'd given me way more than I bargained for. The sheets that made the ceiling let plenty of light in from above the maze of mattresses. In my progress through the labyrinth, I tried to be careful not to knock over anything. I just couldn't bring myself to destroy such a marvel of bedroom engineering. As it turned out, my care proved unnecessary. Some unseen force held everything up, as I learned when I slipped and fell into a mattress wall.

It didn't take long to clear the uncomplicated outer maze. The inner part of the comfy cushion castle contained a courtyard with the Princess's bed at the center. She'd been throwing pillows from a perch on top of the canopy but had disappeared while I made my way through the defenses.

"Gotcha," she whispered in my ear, clutching me from behind and lifting me off my feet.

I don't think I'll ever get used to being picked up and thrown onto a bed. It's just not something guys my size experience often. Getting pounced on and smothered in soft, squishy shoulder boulders, on the other hand, is definitely something I could have more of in my life. My anatomy enthusiastically expressed its approval.

Celestia had kept her hair in the braided pony tail she had at dinner the evening before, and it tickled the side of my face as she straddled me on her hands and knees giving me the kind of massage that only happens in pornos and brothels, the kind where relief of muscle tension isn't exactly the main goal. Although, she was good enough at it that I actually did feel less tense and more relaxed to the point where I lost all sense of my surroundings.

Before I knew what hit me, the scenery changed, and I suddenly found myself at the edge of a jungle close to a beach. The Sun hung low over the horizon, painting the sky with orange and red. It was hot out but not oppressively so. The jungle surrounded the isolated beach against a backdrop of mountains that further separated the place from outside. Only a lone sunbather reclined in a beach chair, and from my vantage a few dozen yards away, she appeared to be the Princess in winged human form.

"So she can do this thing too," I mumbled under my breath, remembering how Luna had done something similar when I'd gone to see her. Glancing around, I checked to see if there were more Celestias around, possibly lying in wait. While it wouldn't be anything new, I certainly wouldn't complain about repeating that experience, even if it had put me out of commission for the better part of four days.

Stepping out of the brush onto the white sand, I realized the Princess was doing quite a bit more than just sunbathing. Her outstretched wings obscured most of my view, but I could tell from the motions of her shoulder and the rhythmic motion of her thighs and hips what was going on. She was really going to town down there.

Strangely, she wasn't the only one feeling it. Entirely on its own, my manhood throbbed in time with Celestia's movements, rapidly building up its arousal, like there was a ghost down there giving me the best blowjob I'd ever had.

If the Princess saw me or knew I was there, she didn't show it. I just stood there half in shock while some invisible force pulled my pecker to peak pleasure.

She let out a low, husky moan, arching her back and thrusting her hips into the air as she brought herself to dramatic climax. I jizzed on the ground and could do nothing but stand there for the eternity it took to process what had just happened.

"If you want a taste, you can stop staring and come over here." She hadn't turned to look back at me, instead simply raising a hand and beckoning me forward. A large beach towel materialized beside her as she spoke.

"First, would you mind telling me what that was just now?" I had my suspicions, but I wanted to know for sure, and whatever she had to offer, I knew there would be plenty more where it came from. I could afford to take it slow.

"That," she emphasized the word, "was the last of the magic trapped inside you being released. If you wish, you may return to your room, and we will be able to send you home as soon as our bodies are restored to their proper form."

"Uhh..." It was the most intelligent thing I could think to say.

"However," Celestia continued, "that can't be done until tomorrow, when the rest of Twilight's friends arrive. We have some more time together, and we can spend it however we'd like." Finally, she turned to face me with a look that left no doubts how she wanted to pass the time. "So why not have a little fun while we can, hmm?"

I didn't need to be asked twice. After everything I'd been through, I could never look myself in the mirror again if I turned down an offer like that. Walking up, I caught sight of her fingers and pussy glistening with the fresh, delicious pleasure of a job well done. We both moved to the towel on the ground. I beheld the bountiful beauty of her bare body, and she stared seductively with her smoldering gaze. Our eyes met for the briefest of moments.

And then we fucked.