"Do you think he's about to wake up?"

"I hope so, Fluttershy. We need him alive to help us fix this mess we're in."

I heard voices. I thought it was kind of strange because there wasn't anybody else in my apartment when I went to sleep. I checked. Also, Fluttershy? What kind of name is that?

"He better fix this!" another voice chimed in rather emphatically, "I can't fly right with a body like this. The balance is all off."

"Rainbow, there ain't no need to be yellin' like that. 'Sides, it ain't his fault we ended up like this, and you know it."

I seemed to be the object of some debate. From what I could tell, there were at least four of them. That last one seemed to put 'Rainbow' in her place. Seriously, what is up with these names? More importantly, what are all these people doing in my apartment?

The one addressed as 'Rainbow' replied with a grumble of exasperation. "Twilight, why'd you send Pinkie to get Rarity and the Princess? I could've been there and back by now."

"Because, when he started stirring, I didn't know how soon he would wake up. I need you and Applejack to help me restrain him if he panics."

Well, that completed the inventory of the four voices in the room. From what I could tell, the ones called 'Rainbow' and 'Applejack' were to my left and right, and 'Fluttershy' was above my head. 'Twilight' was farther away in the direction of my feet. I felt it safe to assume that 'Rarity' and 'Pinkie' were two of their accomplices outside. And did they say something about a Princess too? Just what kind of mess are they in, and how am I expected to fix it?

"Seriously?" That was 'Rainbow' again. "He doesn't look that strong. I don't think he could hurt any of us."

"That's not what I'm worried about," 'Fluttershy' replied. "He might hurt himself if he panics too much and falls out of bed." She sounded like she was straining to assert herself.

'That really hurt, Rainbow,' I thought to myself. In any case, I figured it was as good a time as any to stop staring at the back of my eyelids and make my presence known in the waking world.

There are many sights that may greet a man when he wakes up in strange and unexpected circumstances. Depending on the exact circumstances in question, some of these imaginable sights are more pleasant than others. Breasts would definitely fall on the 'pleasant' side of that spectrum.

I opened my eyes to the sight of two massive mounds of wonderful warmth and snuggly softness hovering mere inches above my face, as I lay on my back looking up. Something seemed off about them, though. They were covered by light yellow fur. I felt the heat rising up my face as a certain part of my own anatomy made it clear that it had no complaints. Awkward was about to take on a whole new level of meaning.

"Fine," 'Rainbow' relented with a sigh. "I still don't think we need all four of us to hold him down, though. I bet I could take him by myself."

"Whoa there, sugarcube. We ain't been like this as long as he has. He might have a few tricks we don't know about yet."

I glanced around at the speakers while trying to move my head as little as possible. It seemed they were too absorbed in their own argument to notice I was awake. It was immediately obvious where the one called 'Rainbow' got her name from. Her hair vibrantly displayed all the colors of the rainbow as it draped over her forehead and shoulders.

As for their bodies, each one of them was covered in different colors of fur, and even though they were clearly not human, they were very human-like, and they were very clearly female.

I could tell because they were all completely naked.

"Oh great," my mouth betrayed my state of wakefulness by mumbling my thoughts out loud. A number of things happened at that point. The conversation between the four humanoids stopped immediately as at least three pairs of eyes (and three pairs of breasts) focused squarely on me. I started shifting around intending to sit up and get a better look at everything. 'Rainbow' and 'Applejack' had other ideas and threw themselves over my arms and chest, presumably to restrain me. And my world suddenly turned light yellow when my face was pulled straight into what I assumed was Fluttershy's ample bosom.

"Mhphlmfmhrm!" I spoke into a faceful of fuzzy funbags that were every bit as warm and soft as they appeared to be. Unfortunately, my focus was elsewhere because the two great mounds also had the weight of a person on top of them. It made it hard to breathe. I slipped my arms free from under the two others (thank whatever divine being is running this madhouse for thick blankets) to try and push her off, but something else beat me to it. After a few gasps for air, I noticed a dim purple glow surrounding the poor girl and holding her about a foot off the bed while moving her aside.

'Wow,' I thought, unable to form any more complex thoughts at the moment.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall on you like that. Please don't be mad at me." I turned my head and saw she was practically in tears as she apologized as profusely and as quickly as she could.

'I never thought it was possible to yell so quietly,' my thoughts spoke up again as soon as I snapped out of my stupor.

"It's alright, Fluttershy," the voice of 'Twilight' said in a reassuring tone. Come to think of it, I hadn't gotten a good look at her yet.

"Yeah, no harm, no foul," I chimed in. "Although, I was just trying to sit up. You didn't all have to dive over me like that." The last bit was directed at 'Rainbow' and 'Applejack', who were still pinning me down.

"Heh heh. Sorry 'bout that," the one called 'Applejack' grinned sheepishly. She and her companion pushed themselves off me, once again granting me some freedom of movement, but at the same time granting me a full view of their boobs.

'Okay, I'm gonna need a blindfold or something if I want to think clearly around these nudist aliens.'

I had intended to pull the blankets with me as I sat up, but my captors were still sitting on top of them after pulling themselves off of me. They got the hint, though, and after some awkward shuffling around on their part, I was able to sit up and keep myself covered.

Through a heroic effort of will, I redirected my attention to my surroundings rather than the distractions in my immediate vicinity. It was obvious that I was no longer in my apartment. In fact, the room by itself was easily twice the size of my little college town studio. The bed was a massive four-poster complete with a curtain that could be drawn if I ever thought of a reason to do so. Around the walls of the room sat assorted tables and dressers topped with expensive-looking vases and trinkets. On one side of the bed, I could see a balcony behind a set of curtains. If the sunlight on the other side was any indication, it must have been close to midday. On the other side, between the bed and the door, was a sitting area with a few chairs and large couches surrounding what I could only describe as a big, round coffee table. Overall, the room just screamed luxury and elegance in a way that my standard-issue bachelor pad just didn't.

"Okay," I said to no one in particular, still making a pointed effort to not look directly at the busty aliens in the room. I must have interrupted something, because the muttering sounds I had tuned out during my survey suddenly went quiet. "First question. Where am I?"

The one called, 'Twilight' replied with an unsure tone in her voice, "Oh, you're in a guest room at Canterlot Palace. It's the safest place we could think of to take you. Ummm, welcome to Equestria."

When I was growing up, my parents weren't excessively strict about things like proper etiquette, but they made sure to teach me basic manners. Something as simple as looking at someone when they are speaking to me was practically a reflex. Said reflex had me staring back down the gauntlet of gazongas at the only alien not on the bed, who smiled sheepishly as I turned my head to face her. She was just as naked as the other three, but unlike the others, she was light purple. There was something else, too. She had a horn growing straight out of her forehead, and what looked like a pair of wings folded behind her shoulders.

'Wait, wings and a horn?' Somewhere, in the back of my mind, a train of thought derailed, tragically killing everyone on board including all the follow-up questions to my first one. Quick glances at the others confirmed that 'Rainbow' and 'Fluttershy' also had wings, and 'Applejack' didn't have wings or a horn. 'How did I miss that?'

I took a deep breath and let it out, managing to piece together enough coherent thought before the silence became any more awkward. "Okay, second question. Who and what are you?"

This time, the answer came from an unidentified voice in the direction of the door. "Ooooh! We're just in time for introductions!"

I turned my head just in time to get smothered again. This time, I found my face pressed into a pair of perky pink play pillows.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" exclaimed the wall of pink fur.

"Phplmems tph mmphf ium," I replied. This was no ordinary hug. This... whatever she was, had me wrapped in a bone-crushing full-body hug. I couldn't even move my arms to pry her off. I merely hoped that a display of good manners might earn me back my breathing privileges.

'I'm going to die here.'

"Pinkie, let the poor dear breathe," another unidentified voice gently chided my assailant.

'My thoughts exactly, mysterious voice.'

Once delivered from the devastating death grip of D-cup doom, I took the next few seconds to stare at the bed canopy and enjoy the continuation of my oxygen habit. Meanwhile, I could hear a minor commotion coming from the general direction of the door, but I tried to ignore it.

Despite my best efforts, the bouncing of my bed and the sounds of my alien hostesses stumbling and tripping over themselves called my attention away from the semi-transparent curtains tied to the bed posts. I looked around to see what all the noise was. The aliens were attempting to make their way to the sitting area near the door. However, they appeared to be experiencing some difficulty in doing so, if the way they were bear-crawling across the floor with their butts in the air was any indication. At least from my angle, their tails did a semi-passable job of covering up their backsides.

One of the aliens in particular had more trouble than the others in making her way to the circle of chairs and couches. The orange one with blonde hair had stumbled again and hit the floor with a muffled thud.

'At least there was carpet, or that might have hurt,' I mused to myself. I briefly considered the idea that without wings, she was having a hard time balancing herself. I just as quickly wrote that off since they had humanoid bodies, so they should have been able to walk upright. After all, the pink one wasn't having any problems bouncing around the room, seemingly oblivious to the plight of her counterparts.

The way she fell also just happened to give me a good view of her butt. It was certainly a pleasant view in its own right, but what caught my eye was the image of three apples embossed on her hips. I silently glanced around at the others, purely out of curiosity. Each of the others also had unique markings around the same spot.

"Applejack, are you alright?" one of them asked with concern evident in her voice. I could no longer keep track of which voice belonged to which alien.

"I'll be alright, Twi. Jus'..." Her voice cut off as a reddish-purple glow wrapped around her and lifted her into the air, depositing her on one of the couches. "Ya didn't have ta pick me up," she said to her lavender companion, but gratitude was evident in her voice.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, "I can't help but notice you're having trouble just walking across the room."

The light purple one with wings and a horn opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off by the light blue one with rainbow hair. "How about we turn you into something else and see how fast you learn to walk," she practically shouted at me.

I winced a little at her outburst, but before I could reply, yet another voice chimed in with a placating tone, "Let's not be rude to our guest. He is not to blame for our current predicament."

"I'm sorry, Princess." If her ears hadn't folded back when she said that, I never would have noticed they were sitting on top of her head.

I barely had time to process the ears thing before I realized how she had addressed the one speaking to her. I slowly shifted my gaze to the 'Princess' as their exchange continued. "I understand your frustration, but I'm not the one you should apologize to." She maintained the same gentle smile on her face as she turned towards me. "Now, if you would join us over here, we can all introduce ourselves properly and explain what has happened... Is something bothering you?"

Indeed, something was bothering me. It wasn't her absurdly long multicolored hair blowing in some non-existent wind. It wasn't the wings folded behind her shoulders just like in many paintings of angels. It wasn't even the ridiculously huge horn extending from her forehead and ending in a needle-sharp point. That she appeared to be a seven and a half foot tall amazon woman? Such minor details were immaterial at that point. It was the same thing that was bothering me about each of the other six aliens in the room (who were all looking at me expectantly when I counted them). It was the reason I finally decided I'd had enough and pulled my blanket over my head.

"You're all naked." I don't think I could have been any clearer about the source of my discomfort.

"Uhh, we don't normally wear clothes." Apparently I wasn't clear enough. To top it all off, I could no longer remember which voice answered to what name. All I knew was that the one that provided this insightful, but disturbing, piece of information had a slight southern accent.

"I was wondering about that, actually," claimed the voice that had saved me from my near-suffocation earlier. "Clothes are not completely unheard of, but articles that cover up a cutie mark are reserved for only the most formal of occasions. I admit I am rather unfamiliar with what you were wearing when you appeared, but I do hope you weren't in the middle of something important."

A quick self-inventory revealed that I, too, was naked underneath the covers. 'Crap.' Unable to parse the implications of what the newcomer had said, I settled on a simple, "What?" as a response.

"Well, the doctors removed it when they examined you, so I took it upon myself to make sure it was properly cleaned. It's on the shelf in the nightstand behind you."

Taking great care to not let anything out from under the covers, I turned and made my way to the opposite side of the bed. Sure enough, my boxers were neatly folded on the shelf and smelling faintly of flowers. The scent must have been the laundry detergent. I wasted no time in pulling them under the covers with me and putting them back on. "Thank you," I replied.

"Oh, think nothing of it. Although, now I really am curious as to what you were doing before."

"Uhh, I was sleeping," I revealed.

That line of discussion went on hold when the 'Princess' spoke up, "As much as I would like to learn more about you and where you come from, I think I would like to know your name first. Would you be more comfortable if we had blankets as well?"

I hesitated for a moment to think about her question, if only for the chance to collect my thoughts. Here I was with nothing but boxer shorts and a blanket between myself and a bunch of big bouncy boobs bequeathed to a bunch of disturbingly humanoid aliens who, for all I knew, had kidnapped me from my own apartment and were all just waiting to pounce and have their way with me. Of course a round of introductions were in order.

"It would be less distracting," I kept my reply simple just to avoid lying. I certainly wasn't comfortable with the situation, and nothing short of waking up in my own bed would reduce that discomfort.

"Very well then," she said without even the slightest hint of hostility or malicious intent. After that, I heard dresser drawers being opened and then some rustling around from the sitting area. A few seconds after the rustling stopped, I risked a peek from my own blanket shelter to see if the coast was clear.

I raised an eyebrow when I noticed all of them wrapped in blankets similar to mine. "Where did all those come from?"

"Oh, we keep plenty of extra sheets, blankets and pillows in our guest rooms in case they're needed." The 'Princess' then gestured towards an empty seat, "Now then, if there are no more distractions, would you mind joining us over here?"

"We brought food!" added the pink one, pointing at a very large serving cart loaded with more kinds of food than I've ever seen outside of a grocery store. She continued on without pausing, "We didn't know what you liked, so we just brought a little of everything, well not everything, just as much breakfast stuff as we could fit on the cart, because we figured you just woke up, so you'd want breakfast even if it's past lunchtime, and we're sharing, so if there's something you don't like, we can eat it instead, so you don't have to be sad about letting food go to waste."

I only listened to about half of that before I tuned her out, pulled the blanket free from the bed, made my way to the edge, and stood up to get a better look while keeping myself wrapped up. It was more like a buffet with various pastries and fruits, as well as some odd items like a couple of coconuts and multiple melons. On the end of the cart were two gigantic jugs of milk to complete the whole layout.

Ignoring the massive buffet for a moment, I walked over to the empty chair. I was tired of the constant distractions. "First thing's first. Who are you, and how did I get here?"