“‘Good with foals!’ she says? ‘Take them camping,’ she says?” Spike cursed under his breath. “You sure know how to sweet-talk a dragon, AJ.”

Spike blew a gentle flame over the water in the old tub. He dipped a claw into the water, testing the temperature. It was perfect for maple pony soup. He turned around to face the five foals.

“Okay, listen up squirts. You have three minutes to wash yourselves, then it’s time to get ready for bed. We’ll have a few stories, but then it’ll be lights out.

“Peach, Daisy, you girls can go first. Pinkie will help if you need it.” Pinkie had dealt with a Pound and Pumpkin, so he was pretty certain she could handle two earth fillies. Spike pointed to three boys. “Ginger, Mist and Steel; you will follow me. When the girls are done, the three of you can wash up.”

Spike marched the three boys away from the clearing. They grumbled about leaving the warmth of the fire and Spike wouldn’t let them crowd him while they were still sticky.

‘What is it with the Crusaders and tree sap?’

Spike ended up having to hold Mist Chaser and Steel Mask down; Steel being the most eager to watch the bathing fillies from the bushes.

“I don’t get it.” Ginger watched the two struggling colts try to get out from under Spike. “What’s wrong with them watching the girls bath?”

“Because…” Spike struggled to keep the two trapped. “The girls are indecent right now, it’s not right to spy on them.”

“What does indecent mean?” Mist Chaser asked, as he tried to pry himself free.

“It means–” Spike caught the escaping pegasus by the tail “– that they aren’t wearing any clothes. So it’s rude to go peeking on them.”

“But Peach and Daisy never wear clothes,” Steel Mask objected.

“Okay.” Spike groaned. “Think of it this way. Ginger, what would you do if you found out Mist was peeking on Apple Bloom? Or if Steel was peaking on your sister, Mist. Or what if Ginger peeked on your mom?” He directed the last question to the unicorn trapped under his rump.

“I’d buck him!” Ginger growled.

“I’d thump him!” Mist Chaser scowled.

“I’d pick him up with my magic and throw him into Ghastly Gorge!” Steel Mask sneered.

“See, you wouldn’t like it. And those girls have brothers, or fathers, or somepony who–”

Ginger Gold dived towards Mist, who dodged into the air, swooping into a dive-kick at Steel Mask. The little unicorn managed to block the kick with a shield spell. He flung Mist back towards Ginger before diving after him.

“You stay away from Dinky!” Mist yelled.

“Well you keep away from Auntie Bloom!” Ginger added.

“And the both of you will stay away from my Great and Powerful Mum!” Steel finished.

Spike chuckled, watching as the boys unknowingly acted out one of his favourite dragon poems. Though they lacked the fire and claws, the billowing dust cloud was pretty accurate.

Spike heated a new tub of water, having had to tip out the old tub. The boys happily chatted with each other comparing scrapes and bruises, each others awesome moves, and discussing the possibility of getting Fight Club cutie marks. Pinkie was helping the girls into their sleeping clothes.

After the boys were cleaned, and put in their pajamas, everypony sat around the campfire.

“Who want’s to hear a story?” Spike asked the group. He loved telling stories, he certainly read enough of them.

“Ooo, ooo! Spikey! Tell them the one about the cursed teapot…” Pinkie bounced excitedly.

“But that was…” Spike remembered the adventure. Pinkie, the girls and himself had seen some strange things, but that one was by far one of the strangest. Frustrated, he finished, “I don’t even know what that was about.”

“Tell us about the time you beat up the Wonderbolts!”

Spike turned towards Ginger. “Where did you hear that story?”

“Auntie Bloom told me!” The foal could not stop laughing.

“Oooo, we want to hear that one!” Steel Mask said, watching the dragon with newfound admiration.

“Yeah!” joined the three other foals. As, he couldn’t help but notice, did Pinkie Pie. She loved stories that embarrassed him.

Spike shared the story of his first birthday party in Ponyville, the foals all laughing as he described his rampage through Ponyville. He tried to skim over how everything had been solved, but Pinkie cut in.

“And then it was like, poof! And Spikey and Rarity came falling to the ground. And they were making kissy faces at each other. And then Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy swooped in and caught them!”

“So how come you aren’t all ‘Spike want’ now?” Mist Chaser asked whilst pretending to steal Daisy’s marshmallow. She managed to fend him off with a stick.

“Twilight and Shining Armor helped me with that. You see, a dragon will always horde; infact, he has to if he wants to grow up healthy. They had to teach me how to control my urges, so I could build a horde without hurting anypony.”

“How did they do that?” Peach Cobbler asked.

“Well, it wasn’t easy. Twilight took me to the Crystal Empire for my next birthday. We stayed with Shiney and his wife, Princess Cadence. They had guards standing around me, and they put all kinds of cool stuff on a table in front of me.”

Spike blanched at the memory. “Every time I’d try to take something that wasn’t mine. Zap! Dragons are naturally resistant to pony magic, it’s why Twilight used to practice with me. But it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”

He shifted his weight around, and pointed to a small scar, less than a hoof’s length, across the left side of his rump. “This was when I really learned not to take something that didn’t belong to me.”

“Wow, is that a lightning cutie mark?” Steel looked in awe. “How did you get that?”

Pinkie and Spike laughed together. “No, it’s not a cutie mark, dragons don’t get cutie mark. That is where forty guards zapped me at once.”

“Why did they do that?” Ginger gasped.

“I tried to take Princess Cadence’s crown.” Spike chuckled as he spoke. “When I woke up three days later, my rump was still very sore, ahd I didn’t feel much like taking anything anymore. So these days, I like to collect things I can buy myself.

“First I liked buying hats, but I think that was just so I could visit somepony.” Spike gave a sheepish grin, looking away from Pinkie as he told this part. “These days I like books.”

“Aww, books are boring!” Mist Chaser complained. “Why don’t you collect something cool, like gold and gems?”

Spike laughed. “I couldn’t afford to collect gold on a librarian’s salary, and gems are just too tasty. Plus, then I’d always have nasty little pegasi flying into my lair trying to take my cool stuff.” He playfully nipped the air in front of Mist Chaser, who fell over backwards. The other foals laughed.

“Okay kiddies, I think it’s time for bed.” Pinkie started to corral the fillies towards their tent.

“Awww, we want another story!” the two fillies complained.

“Come on, Pinkie. We’ve got time for one more story.” Spike grinned, picking up a few rocks. “What do you think Rocky? Wanna share the story about Pinkie Pie’s birthday?”

Pinkie blushed and continued to push the girls into the tent.

Spike crept out of the boys tent. He’d join them again later, to make sure Steel and Mist didn’t decide to visit the girls tent. Pinkie had assured them she had a party cannon, and wasn’t afraid to use it, if the boys tried to get all hoovesy.

He sat by the dying fire, grabbing a new log and breathing a gentle flame over it; Spike pitied the foal who had to use flint and tinder. He stoked the fire as it came back to life. He sat back, resting against one of the logs to watch the night sky.

Owls flew through the branches of the trees, looking for an evening meal. Cicadas sang their songs. A family of racoons watched him from the treeline, presumably assessing the camps potential food supply against the probability of tangling with the large reptile guarding it.

Spike sighed happily. Whitetail Woods was beautiful at night. Calm, peaceful, tranquil. The perfect atmosphere for Pinkie to burst out of something random and try to scare him.

He tensed for the inevitable.

All he was rewarded with was her smiling face as she emerged from the fillies tent. She slipped next to him warming her hooves near the fire. “The boys asleep?”

Spike perked his ear, listening. “Ginger is sound asleep and Mist is dozing. Steel thinks I can’t hear him sneaking out.”

“Awwwwww!” the foal moaned, as he slunk back into the tent.

“Almost as much trouble as that mother of his was, hey?” Spike stretched out his wing, and folded it over Pinkie. It wasn’t warm and soft like a pegasus or alicorn’s wing was; but he knew it would at least protect her from the cool night breeze.

“I’m glad Applejack asked us to do this, you know,”– Spike sighed –“but I still can’t believe she does this with the foals every month then she just goes right back to working on the farm.” Spike stretched, cracking the discs in his spine. “I think I’d need the next month off to just recover.”

They settled by the fire, watching the stars above. The foals soft breathing could be heard in the silence of the night.

“You were really good with the foals today,” Pinkie said as she snuggled into him. “You really would make a good dad.”