A ‘speech coach’ came to my chambers today. Apparently he makes a career out of teaching ponies what their parents should have taught them. I was tempted to see just how much damage the royal Canterlot voice could do to a pony as I threw him out but I have been gone for a very long time; perhaps I could use some help.

If nothing else having him has broken the utter monotony of my life. Sister has been better but I am still only trusted with one night a week and merely a few pairs of night ponies as my guard. I have nothing at all to do. I sleep as long as I can but even my dreams have become dull.

This speech coach is as incompetent as the ‘councilor’ Celestia sent to me some time ago. I understand that “tell me how to speak,” is a rather broad and open ended request so instead I simply asked that he sum up the changes of language rules over the past thousand years. He was woefully ill informed as to what exactly the language rules of a thousand years ago were; in fact the only rule he could come up was the nonsensical “Thee before thou except after thine”.

I informed him that his ignorance had made this conversation an enormous waste of time and then I realized; I have done little else but waste time since my return.
-L

Author's Notes:

so after my last note saying i was running out of ideas i sat down and wrote four chapters so daily updates for the foreseeable future.