I awoke somewhat subtlety... there was a rapping at the door, followed by the sound of claws scratching, whining, and then more rapping...

I groaned, rubbing my eyes. Suddenly Twilight shot straight up. “OH DEAR! What time is it?!” she gasped. I rooted around and found my watch.

“Uhm... about...” I looked. “Seven-thirty?” I asked, wondering why she was-

“HEY, LET ME IN YOU TWO!” Screamed the all too familiar voice of my canine friend. “I SAID, LET-ME-IN!” She screamed. Twilight scurried around, quickly cleaning up the mess we had made last night.

I quickly slipped on my old clothes and as I did, I noticed there was a rather large stain on the couch cushion where we had spent the night. “Shit...” I muttered, quickly flipping the cushion upside down. Unfortunately there was an older stain there too. “Ergh... Lassie!” I hissed, knowing full well that the stain had probably come from her.

There was more banging at the door and Twilight squeaked. “Shoot... it's leaking everywhere.” I was going to ask but a creamy white slime running down the backside of her leg as she rushed to the washroom answered my question.

Lassie cried out as she whimpered at the door, scratching away. “Aww come on guys. Spike's not even with me. It's not like I don't know what you're doing in there... come on, let me in, I have stuff to do today!” she cried.

With that I opened the door and she rushed in, immediately glaring at me. “Why didn't you tell me Cheerilee was having a school picnic and had invited us?” She had this look... it was priceless and made me want to chuckle but alas, I stayed serious.

“Well... she actually invited me last night, and when I got home you had already left,” I replied honestly. She scowled at me.

“That's no excuse... well... why the hell'd you lock the door and leave me out all night?! It was cold out! What kind of owner are you?!” she scolded me. I just rolled my eyes.

“Okay... you were out late and we... well... didn't want anypony walking in on us the way we were on the couch,” I informed her. She sat on her haunches then crossed her font legs in an irritated way.

“I had... to sleep in a hay mow at Applejack's... because dog's aren't allowed on the furniture... a HAY MOW!” She yelled at me and I merely snickered.

“Then... why didn't you just sleep at Fluttershy's? She let's animals in the house and on the furniture,” I asked and Lassie gave me a glare.

“Because that mare is screwy in the head.” Lassie shuddered.

“H... How?” I asked uneasily, wondering if I really wanted to know the answer.

“She... she tried to... to sing me a lullaby after she tucked me into bed... what kind of whacko does that? I'm not some little puppy, man. How would you feel if she tucked you in like an infant then began to sing you a lullaby?” she asked and I thought to myself. Fluttershy had a very timid and gingerly voice that would kind of sound soothing really.

“Pretty relaxed... so you ditched the bed and blanket for a hay mow just cause it was weird her singing to you?” I asked and Lassie nodded, looking away with an irritated face.

“Anyway... Cheerilee said she's having a picnic and had invited us... TODAY!” She announced like it was a bad thing.

“Okay... so?” I asked, wondering what was so bad.

“I barely have anytime to prepare!” she announced, again, in an unnecessarily loud voice.

“Well... okay we could bring some... apples or something?” I offered but she shook her head then shook me.

“I mean for the act!” she said and I blinked, unsure of what she meant. “Dude... okay Trixie taught me some things and I want to try them out on an audience so I told the kids last time I was there that I'd do some magic tricks for them next time I was in. SO COME ON, WE GOTTA GET READY!” She began pushing me and huddling me down the stairs.

Rather quickly she began trying to pull off my pants. “HEY!” I gasped and she gave me a dumbfounded look.

“Well!... Hurry up, we don't have all day!” She hurried me. Rather irritably, I slide off my pants but to my discomfort, noticed a stain of dampness in my underwear. Lassie quickly scurried over and sniffed it. “Woah... you guys went at it like a pair of horn-dogs,” she giggled and I just looked away with a sour expression on my face.

I grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and went to change but noticed Lassie was watching me. I waited a moment for her to get the message but instead she kept looking at me. “Well... what are you waiting for?” she asked and I motioned for her to turn around. “Oh for the love of... urgh!” She put her paw over her eyes.

As I began to change she peeked her paws open. “ACK! HEY!” I gasped and she took her paw away then rolled her eyes.

“Relax. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before,” she replied then began to pull out some funky magic gear. I quickly slid on my new boxers but as I went to get some jeans, Lassie stopped me. “Ah-ah-ahhh! You need these,” she said and handed me what looked like some funky blue gypsy pants that were overly wide at the bottom and made of silky fabric.

“Uhm...” I trailed off, looking blankly at the pants.

“I got Rarity to make them,” she said and my heart sank a bit.

“Did you... tell her about?” I asked hesitantly but Lassie shook her head.

“Nah dude... that's you're problem. I wasn't the one who blew down her door with a shotgun,” she mentioned and I let out a relieved exhale. “And don't worry, I paid for these. They were cheap. Oh, and you need this too,” she gave me a dark blue cape dress thingy and little pointy hat. As I slipped everything on I noticed the arms were a little long on the cape dress. I had to say... for something so silky looking, it was a tad bit on the heavy side.

“Mmm... ugh... if only they were white,” I muttered and Lassie looked to me.

“Huh... what's that?” she asked but I waved it off.

“Nothing... racial comment about my world,” I replied. I looked at my suit and shuddered. If it had a mask with only two eyeholes and the hat was a little taller I wouldn't be wearing it. Memories of South Park episode: Pinkeyes, came to mind. Namely when Cartman dressed up as Hitler, then was later given a ghost costume which subsequently looked like a KKK uniform.

I smiled and let out a quiet chuckle to which Lassie looked to me. “What's so funny?” she asked but again I just waved it off.

“You wouldn't understand even if I told you,” I said, still smiling. Lassie then put on my cowboy hat and duster along with some fancy leather looking pants. “Hey... that's my duster and hat!” I said aloud and she nodded.

“I know. But I need it for the act. I'd have to explain everything to you if you were wearing this,” she informed me and I simply nodded.

“Ohh... okay. Where's Spike anyway? I heard he went with you,” I asked and Lassie just groaned.

“He could handle Fluttershy's singing,” she replied and I just snickered. “What?!” she asked defensively.

“Just ironic. Don't know how good you have it... till you're sleeping on a hay mow,” I joked. She frowned and gave me a funny look and mouthed the words out I had just said. I rubbed her heard and pulled her tight to my leg. “Aww Lassie, it's why ah love yah.” She rubbed into my leg briefly before pulling away.

“Okay, now let's skidattle so we're not late for school!” And I looked at my watch.

“School doesn't start for another... hour and a bit,” I replied and she shot me a stare.

“We'll go early... and if you're good I'll get you a treat at Tim Horseton's,” she mentioned and my ear perked up at the sound of it, then I got to thinking.

“Hey wait a minute... you're the pet, I decide if I get it or not!” I said and she just gave me an 'Oh really?' look. “What?” I asked and she raised her eyebrows higher. “You are the pet. You don't decide whether or not I get Tim Horseton's.” She just shrugged, rolled her eyes and slipped on some more things, namely a saddle bag to which the contents I was unsure.

“Okay, let's go!” Lassie began pulling me along. As we reached the upstairs, my mother looked to me with an estranged look.

“I uhm... uhh... am part of a magic act I just found out about.” I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I'll be back later, oky dokey?” I gave her a wink as Lassie continued to drag me along.

We reached Cadence and Lassie went to hop in the driver seat. “Ah-ah-ahh... no way, hosé.” Lassie looked to me and I pointed to the passenger seat. “This is Cadence. She is my truck. That means I am the driver,” I told her and she got huffy as she grumpily paced over to passenger side door and got in.

I played with the naughty key and dangled it around inside the cubby hole. “Feeling ansty sweetie?” I asked and played around with it until it beeped. Finally starting the truck, Lassie muttered.

“You drive like an old stallion,” she quipped and I merely chuckled.

“I drive 'er like a Cadillac,” I replied and Lassie looked at me with a curious stare.

“What's a Cadillac?” she asked but I just shook my head. “You're gonna have to take me to your world one day so I can understand all these human terms you use.” I nodded and slipped the truck into drive before puttering towards Tim Horseton's.

I reached under the center console for my wallet but couldn't seem to find it. “Where did I...” I trailed off as I saw Lassie dangling my wallet. “Hey, where'd you get that?” I asked and she smiled.

“Twilight gave it to me last night so you two could spend a romantic and intimate night together... told you I decided whether or not you got Tim Horseton's,” she giggled and I tried to grab it but she pulled it away and opened it.

“Really... why did you buy a purse with leopard print inside?” she asked, laughing as she flipped through it.

“It's not nice to search through somepony's wallet!” I snapped but she just laughed and kept going through it.

“But seriously. This is a mare's purse,” she laughed and I grabbed it from her paws.

“It's not a purse. It's a wallet cause I, a man, owns it... and besides... I went to Africa, killed a snake to make the leather, and then killed a leopard to get the print,” I joked and she blinked.

“Where's Africa?” she asked and I just sighed.

“The place with... deserts and... jungles and... zebras?” I asked unsurely and she looked at me.

“You mean Zebrafica?” she asked and I just facepalmed.

“Yup... yeah... yeah, Zebrafica... yup...” I just trailed off. Ridiculous name but okay. I pulled up to the Tim Horseton's. “Too bad this place didn't have a pick-up window,” I mentioned, not using the term 'drive-thru' since Lassie wouldn't know what that was either.

I left Cadence running as we both hopped out and walked into Tim Horseton's. As usual, the ever friendly employee, Mary, was operating the cashier. We both walked up and Lassie hopped to her hindlegs, putting her front paws on the counter. “Hey sweet cheeks,” Lassie began in a very suave voice, making Mary blush a little.

Lassie thought for a moment before ordering. “I'll get an iced cappuccino with whipped cream and... a cinnamon roll.” Mary nodded and typed it in before looking to me.

“Can I get some chocolate milk and a jelly powder doughnut please,” I ordered and Lassie spoke up.

“Better make it a couple dozen doughnuts,” she mentioned and I looked to her. “For the picnic, duh!” I slapped myself in the forehead like the universe's mysteries had been solved. I nodded to Mary and she typed it in. I paid for the rather large tab and realized I had dwindling amounts of bits left. I'd have to count later but it looked like maybe eighty bits... a hundred at tops.
Amazingly, despite the large order, she got it right... minus the fact she dinged me for a hot chocolate as well. I gave her a nod, thanked her and returned to the truck, stacks of doughnut boxes in my arms. Lassie looked to me. “Oh-ho man... OH-HO man! We could probably do ANYTHING we want and when the police finally busted us, we'd have the biggest get out of jail free card ever... you could probably feed an entire police station with those,” she joked and I looked to her with a puzzling expression as I loaded the doughnuts in the back seat.

“Does Ponyville even have a police department?” I asked and she rubbed her chin before hopping into the passenger seat.

“Dunno. Probably not man. They have a fricken magical princess living in the library and the ex-god of choas. They're fine,” she mentioned and I merely rubbed my chin also as I shut the door behind me and began driving towards the school.

“Yeah but it would've come in handy with Tristan and everything,” I brought up an old topic and Lassie just shrugged with a 'dunno' look.

“Well... considering he bested Twilight and you... I don't think a police officer would've done much,” she commented and I nodded in agreement.

We pulled up to the school and I checked my watch. “Still got like forty-five minutes to kill,” I said, putting my vehicle into park and shutting her off before taking a sip of my chocolate milk. It was honey flavoured.

Lassie sucked her beverage from a straw and sat with the cinnamon roll in the other paw. I sat in a similar fashion and looked out to the town, almost as if I were some kinda... “Pfft... tee-hee,” I snickered and Lassie looked to me, wondering what was so funny.

“What's...” she looked around to see what I was laughing at. “Did somepony slip on a banana peel?” she asked but I shook my head.

“I feel kinda like a cop right now. Just need a steaming coffee instead,” I joked and she just rolled her eyes.

“You ever wonder why the call them cops? Like where the term came from?” she asked. I shook my head as I reached over into the glove box and pulled out a specific CD.

“Nope, but uhh...” I trailed off as I set the CD into the player. In moments, an unmistakable tune began to play and I sang along, but mostly just hummed the tune since I couldn't understand what they were saying half the time.

Lassie sat for a moment, blinked, set her cappuccino on the dash then dipped her face into her free paw. “You're helpless,” she muttered. We sat for the duration of the time it took for the class to show up and merely sat like a pair of stereotypical police officers.

Finally, after everypony had arrived, or rather until we had figured everypony was here, the two of us stepped out of the truck. We left the doughnuts in the truck, figuring we'd get them on our way out.

As I looked to myself, I realized how utterly ridiculous I looked. Lassie on the other hand looked pretty cool, cowboy duster and all...

We stepped into the classroom and the eyes fell upon us. At first they were thrilled to see my canine companion and many waved to her, but as they saw me, most of them giggled. “Ugh... I can't believe I agreed to this,” I muttered. No sooner had I said that, Lassie jabbed me in the side, somehow managing to stand perfect posture on her hindlegs.

“Sssh,” she ordered and I just nodded. I looked to Cheerilee and gave a half-witted smiled.

“Mornin',” I greeted and she smiled in return.

“Okay, settle down everypony,” Cheerilee began but one of the younger colts blurted out.

“Lassie, are you really going to do magic tricks today?!” he asked in excitement to which she nodded in return. With that the class went beserk... why exactly were they so thrilled? Lassie must've noticed my stare.

“They really like me. I'm like their Mosiah,” she said and I nodded. Cheerilee quickly hushed the class and tuffed her man to one side.

“Yes well... indeed. I was meaning to say, as you all know today is the class picnic, meaning we are all spending the day outside-” she was suddenly, and most abruptly, cut off by another colt.

“NO SCHOOL WORK!” He cheered and the rest of the class cheered with him. Cheerilee just smiled as she waited it out but instead, Lassie spoke up.

“Kids, kids... children, listen to the teacher,” she said in a very tutorial-like voice. I was shocked really. The class went quiet and they all sat in due attention. My dog looked to Cheerilee and they nodded to one another.

“Yes, well... as I was saying. As you all know today is the school picnic. We have no school work today and you all get to spend the day outside...” she continued on and I smiled to myself. This was like the playday at the end of the year when I was in kindergarten. Just hang around outside like it was recess all day.

“And, at lunch time, Lassie will perform her magic show like she said she would,” Cheerilee informed the class, to which they all squealed in excitement... except that snooty one, Tiara, and her little silver friend... Spoony, I'll call her.

Without further ado, Cheerilee led the kids out to the playground and field where Lassie ended up playing with them, even Tiara and Spoony. She'd play fetch, hid and seek, even tag... with all the kids, not just one grounp.

I looked in amazement and Cheerilee caught my stare. “You trained her well,” she said but I just shook my head, somewhat in a bit of shame.

“No... no really I didn't. She trained herself,” I replied and Cheerilee giggled a little.

“I take it she made you wear those?” she asked, pointing to the robes, and I nodded. “I guessed as much... it looks a little funny on you, no offense.” She laughed lightly, almost timidly, and we both sat and watched.

One of the younger colts, Pip, or Pippy... he looked kinda like a cow and I forgot his name. To any means, he ended up straddling on the back of Lassie while she trotted around, almost like she was a horse, and he was a rider. She even gave him my hat to put on... it looked cute, especially when the hat tipped over his face because it was too large.

“They have their moments,” Cheerilee mentioned and I nodded.

“Yeah... kids are alright,” I said and she nodded.

“I know you're young... but do you mind me asking if you ever thought of having children?” she asked and I shrugged.

“I had a kid,” I replied and she went wide eyed.

“Really?” she asked and I nodded. “Well... I suppose they were young before all this happened?” she asked but I shook my head.

“He was... wasn't my child by birth or anything. Divorce between the parents left him with the mother and the mom was a bit koo-koo so legal rights or whatever put me as his legal guardian so he's my guardianized child by law of... whatever, just easy to say he was my kid.” I told her and she nodded, still listening. “I didn't watch him twenty-four-seven or anything... just a week or two at a time while his mother... or as he called her, his birth giver, calmed down.”

“That's too bad... divorce's usually hurt more ponies than they intend to,” she said in an understanding voice but I just shrugged.

“Number one reason for divorce... marriage,” I joked but she just gave a frowny face. “Sorry... it's a guy joke,” I laughed. She let out and exhale. My conscious spoke up. 'Happy wife, happy life. But if you take out one of those things, you'll just be left with happy life.'

“Did you ever really and truthfully ever consider a child?” she asked. I shook my head and she asked me another question. “Why not? If you don't mind me asking,” she asked but I didn't really have a full answer.

“Ah dunno... was planning on leaving to the military straight after high-school... got caught up on a farm and... just never really took interest in women,” I said then quickly realized she might not know what women were. “Women are the female of my species,” I stated and she just nodded.

“I see... so you... uhm... are you?...” she asked hesitantly. I ushered her to ask, not knowing what she was wondering. “Are you... gay?” she asked and I nearly jumped back.

“Woah, no! I don't roll that way!” I gasped and she too was startled back, but by my sudden outburst.

“Oh sorry, I didn't mean to offend you,” she apologized. “I just thought because-” but I cut her short.

“No-no, it's okay. I'm not offended. I don't really have anything against gays either it's just... yeah no. I don't roll like that...” I trailed off as I remembered jerking off with Big Mac. A shudder went down my spine.

“I really didn't know is all. I just... well you said you had no interest in females so...” she trailed off and I let out an exhale.

“I meant what I meant, I just didn't mean that I had an interest in males instead. I just... never showed interests in relationships was all. So in turn... I never really thought about... that, and subsequently, having children with someone... somepony, never crossed my mind” I mentioned and she nodded.

We sat together for a while longer and I turned to her. “I might've asked but my memory isn't too good... did you ever think of having children?” I asked. She nodded then sighed. “Never happened I take it?” She shook her head.

“I would've loved to but... well, I'm getting on in my years and most stallions are taken and others... well...” she trailed off and I could see a small tear form in the corner of her eye.

“I'm sorry... I uhh... if it's any condolence, you'll find him... a good stallion. You deserve that much. And I think you'll make a good mom,” I told her and she just smiled.

“Working with the students so much I... I don't know where I'd get the time,” she said, namely to herself but partially to me. I put my arm around her and pulled her tight as we watched the kids.

We sat and chatted for a moment before one of the older fillies rushed up. “Ms. Cheerilee, Ms. Cheerilee!” She exclaimed and we both looked to her with stunned expressions. “It's lunch time!” I looked to my watch. It was actually a few minutes before noon, but I remember being a kid and being hungry.

“Oh, speaking of which,” I said and whistled out. Lassie's ears perked up and I waved her over then turned to Cheerilee. “Got doughnuts for the picnic.” I gave her a wink then realized... “Damn... sorry, I meant to wink but... one eye,” I mentioned then walked off with Lassie and retrieved the doughnuts.

As we came back the kids were all sitting in groups around picnic blankets. When they saw us, they all gasped in excitement. Tiara and Spoony gave sour faces as they saw what a fuss the other kids were giving over Lassie and I. One colt cheered out. “Alright! DOUGHNUTS! Lassie, you're the bestest dog ever!” he said aloud. All the other kids cheered too and Tiara tried to interupt.

“Well 'I' brought something just as...” she trailed off and looked back. I tried to follow her stare but couldn't match it. There was a stockpile of food on some school desks that Cheerilee had probably brought out earlier.

Lassie set the doughnuts down and all the kids rushed up to get something to eat. Ms. Cheerilee, Lassie and i stood back and watched them, a lot of them huddling over to the doughnuts. I chuckled to myself. “Kids huh? They're great,” I said to the other two who nodded in return before Lassie spoke up.

“Yeah, they really are great.” I looked to Lassie and wondered to myself.

“Hey Lassie... I never knew you were so good with colts and fillies... what gives?” I asked and she just shrugged.

“Dunno... hey, you should have a kid,” she suggested but I just tossed my head from side to side. “Oh come on. Then I could totally train it to be my faithful little minion,” she joked and I just shook my head.

“If I ever have a kid... I'm not letting you turn it into a minion,” I told her to which she gave a jokingly disappointed face.

As the kids all took their spots again one spoke up, the cow looking colt, Pips. “Hey Lassie, can you do some magic?” he asked, antsy and excited to see her do something.

Tiara again spoke up in a rather snooty tone. “Oh please. It's not anything special. Unicorns can do magic all the time,” she interjected. Lassie removed her hat, MY hat, then rubbed her head.

“No horn... I can't do magic...” she trailed off then pulled a bunny from my hat... it was Angel Bunny. "Or can I?!" she asked aloud.

“A... Angel?” I asked and he gave an irritated chatter. The kids all gasped and Lassie stuffed him back in the hat. I rushed over and looked but... he was no longer there.

“He... hey how'd you do that?!” I gasped in utter disbelief. Lassie shook her paw.

“A magician... never reveals her secrets,” she replied while putting my hat back on. Tiara just scoffed. Lassie looked to her and pointed. “Tiara, would you be so kind as to be my assistant for the next act?” she asked and Tiara just gave a 'Humph' as she walked up.

“I won't be surprised. This isn't real magic. Just tricks,” she said. Lassie stood to her hindlegs, reached into my coat she was wearing and with one paw, pulled out a deck of cards. However she did it in a really cool way where the deck flew towards her paw and wasn't just stacked in her paw already.

The crowd of kids watched in awe. Lassie spread the card deck out. “Okay... pick a card, any card,” Lassie offered and Tiara picked a card. Lassie withdrew the deck and stacked it again. “Okay now show your card to the crowd so they can see, but don't show me.” Tiara showed the card. It was the three of hearts. She then gave it back to Lassie who put it on the top of the deck and began to shuffle it in bizarre ways like making the cards zoom from one paw to the other or doing that one thing where the user holds the two halves of a deck in both hands then flicks them together.

Finally, she flipped over the deck of cards, sorted through it then looked to Tiara and the crowd. “So... is it correct that I didn't see the card you randomly drew from this deck?” Tiara nodded. “So I wouldn't know that... this!” she said, pulling out the three of hearts, “Is your card.” Most of the class gasped and I just looked in amazement. How'd she do that? Did she mark the card somehow?

Tiara however, was not impressed. “Oh please, that's just a silly old card trick,” she scoffed. Lassie moved over to the tables and moved some things aside.

“Okay, let's do another.” she said, taking out what looked to be roughly twenty cards from the deck and giving them to Tiara. “Pick a card, again, don't tell me what it is.” Tiara picked a card and showed it to the audience who had now circled around the table. This time, it was the ten of spades. “Okay, now put it back in the small pile,” she said.

Tiara did as asked and quickly shuffled the deck of twenty-ish cards, probably in an attempt to make sure Lassie couldn't find out what card it was. Lassie just smiled, took the cards, placed them in three columns of seven, all facing up... so there was twenty one cards. “Which pile is your card in?” she asked and Tiara gave her a look. “Just part of the magic,” she said and Tiara pointed to the first pile. Lassie picked up another pile, then the pile her card was in and finally the last pile then put the cards out again. “Okay... now which pile is your card in?” she asked and this time Tiara spoke up.

“I know what you're doing. You're just figuring out which card is mine, this isn't magic,” she said and Lassie just rolled her eyes before Tiara pointed to a pile. “This one,” she said and Lassie again took another pile first, then her pile, then the last pile. She did this once more before placing the cards out on the table, all face down.

“Now... I can't see what the cards are correct?” she asked and everypony but Tiara nodded. “So even if I did somehow... 'magically' know your card... I wouldn't be able to know that...” she grabbed a card and held it up. “This! Is your card!” Lassie announced, showing the three of clubs. Tiara snickered.

“HA! Not even close!” she cackled and Lassie looked at the card then to the audience.

“Is this her card?” she asked but everypony shook their heads. She grabbed another one, this time an ace of diamonds. “How about this one?” she asked but again everypony shook their heads.

Tiara cackled. “Ha! So much for your spectacular magic show,” she laughed insultingly. Lassie flipped all the cards.

“Which one is your card?” she asked and Tiara looked down then went wide eyed just as everypony else looked as well. In the pile, there was no ten of spades. Lassie looked to Tiara. “Say... do you bathe often?” Lassie asked and Tiara took insult to her question.

“Of course I do! I'm not a dirty poor pony,” she snapped and Lassie rubbed her chin.

“So... do you wash behind your ears?” she asked and Tiara nodded.

“Of course I do!” she said, aggrivated at the fact Lassie was poking at her. Lassie reached forwards.

“So... why is it that...” she reached behind Tiara's ear and pulled out the ten of spades. “This card is behind you ear?” she asked, the crowd gasping as she showed them the card.

Tiara sputtered in disbelief. “T-t-that's... that's m-my... card,” she said in astonishment and Lassie rubbed her chin in a curious way.

“If it's your card... the one that was in the deck... what in Equestria was it doing behind your ear?” she asked. I looked down and quickly counted the cards in my mind. There was twenty one cards so she didn't take the card before she laid them down... or had she? Then how'd she replace the card?

Lassie smiled and began to do all sorts of tricks. Some of them were kind of corny, but some of them really left me puzzled. “And now... filles and gentle-colts, ladies and stallions!” she announced triumphantly. “I shall... oh wait... yo Cheerilee, can you spare me a bit?” she asked and the teacher gave her a look. “I'll give it back, I promise,” she said and Cheerilee just shrugged and offered her a bit.

Lassie looked at it... and looked at it... and looked at it. “Okay... so this... right here in my paw... is solid matter right?” she asked and everypony nodded. “So it'd be near impossible for me to just vaporize it with my bare paws, not having a unicorn horn and all.” The crowd nodded. She pressed it between her two paws, raised her paws in the air and began to grunt in effort, squeezing the coin with all her might.

After a moment or two, she brought her paws down, backside of her paw to us then opened them up, wiggling her paw digits to assure us it wasn't hidden between her paws. To our utter amazement, the bit was gone. I just stood there, slack jawed and unable to believe it. Okay... I know this is Equestria and it's full of magic and stuff but... “What?” I gasped along with several others.

There was a small round of applause before Cheerilee spoke up. “Uhm... you did say you'd give me my bit back?...” she asked, unsure about this. Lassie rubbed her chin.

“Why yes... I did say that didn't I?” She rubbed her chin again then looked to me. “But how in Celestia's name will I give it back if it disappeared?” she asked aloud. “Hmm... now that is a toughie...” she trailed off and looked more keenly on me. “But what if I were... say... turn something else, back into your bit?” she asked and everyone looked at her.

She walked up to me on her hindlegs and poked her claw at the collar of my cape dress and pants. “Hey what are you...” but I trailed off as she began pulling on some of the loose fabric strings and began running off with it, undoing the sewing job. As she pulled away, bits started falling off me and everypony's eyes went wide. "Wha... what the fu..."

In moments, the cape dress and pants were gone and all that was left was a bunch of bits, and me... standing in my underwear and the little hat she had given me earlier. The kids were wide eyed.

Lassie came back, a mouthful of string in her mouth just before she spat it out. “Okay kids, there's ten bits for everypony so share it. I don't wanna hear about anypony not getting their money,” she said and the class blinked. “Seriously, take it... it's free, really.” As she said that the kids rushed up and grabbed the coins, splitting them equally just as asked.

Lassie then looked to Cheerilee. “Oh yeah... I still owe you your bit huh?” she asked then somehow snapped with her paw while tossing her front leg up in the air. A gleaming bit shot up and landed smack square in the middle of her paw. “Para usted,” she said and I blinked. She knew Mexican... err, Spanish... or maybe it was Portuguese... it sounded Mexican.

Cheerilee blinked in amazement and gracefully took the coin back. I suddenly felt aware that I was almost naked in public. “Uhm Lassie... cool trick and all but... by chance did you bring me any extra clothes?” I asked. She nodded, taking off the duster and hat and giving them to me. I looked at her then to my legs. "Pants?" I asked but she shook her head while biting her bottom lip, giving me a sultry gaze.

“You wouldn't fit in my pants,” she said with a sexual connotation tone. I just rolled my eyes and slipped on the clothes. She grabbed the magic hat and tossed it to one of the kids. “Maybe it'll make you magical too,” she said with a wink and the kids all rushed over.

“Thank you Mrs. Lassie, you're the best!” they all squealed. Lassie took a bow.

“No children, thank you,” she thanked their applause as they cheered. After a moment they rushed off to go play again, some grabbing extra food before they went. Lassie walked up to Cheerilee and myself. “I'm Ms. Lassie. Mrs. Lassie was my mother... she was a bitch,” she said to the two of us.

Both Cheerilee and I looked to her in disbelief. “I... I... how?” I asked and she looked to me.

“How what?”

“How'd you... do that?” I asked and Lassie shrugged.

“Which trick?” she asked and I was to baffled to speak really.

Cheerilee spoke up, able to piece together her thoughts. “All of them.”

Lassie sighed. “Well, the card tricks range in difficulty but they are, as I just said, merely tricks. The coins... that was tough,” she said and we listened to her speak. “Did you notice the outfit was... a little heavier than it should've been?” she asked and I thought back.

“Yeah. I noticed but it wasn't really super heavy so I didn't say anything.”

Lassie nodded. “Yeah, I worked a few days in Ponyville, doing odd jobs like cutting grass and such to gather up enough money to make this cool. So then I had Rarity stitch together this uniform, but stitch the weave extra thick so she could secretly stitch coins into the uniform as well. Then, all I had to do was pull apart the sewing and... voila,” she told us her secret.

We were so baffled that we nearly forgot how the trick started and Cheerilee brought that up. “So... how'd you make my coin disappear?” she asked, intrigued by the trick and Lassie grabbed my right arm and pulled it down, showing her the inside of my coat arm.

“I had Rarity stitch me a secret pocket. When I brought my paws down, I made sure I had the backside facing the crowd so when I dropped the coin early, they didn't see it fall into the secret pocket. Then when I flicked my leg up in the air it flew out of the pocket... easy when you figure out how it's done huh?” We both nodded. We all flumped down to our rumps and just relaxed in peace.

We sat, mostly in silence, watching the children all play together. The one who had gotten the hat pretended to be a magician, casting spells with a wand, which was really just a stick found in the playground. Fun really, considering this world had real magic yet the simple influence of a dog could let their imaginations run wild.

Before I knew it... before either one of knew it really, the day was over. The school bell rang and everypony was a little startled. They quickly scurried to get their things, giving Ms. Cheerilee, Lassie and I... mostly Lassie, a very heartwarming farewell. The three of us walked up to the doorway of the school and stood idly as the children departed.

I stood on one side of the doorway, while Cheerilee stood on the other side and Lassie simply plopped herself down in the middle as we watched the kids walk off into the sunset town, some with their parents, others in groups. My... chest, my heart I guess... I felt really weird, like I had been feeling lately. It didn't feel like a bad feeling just... different.

“Really is something huh? Watching them go,” I commented and Cheerilee nodded with a sigh.

“I know... saddening when I see them leave. I always wonder when the next time I'll see them is... if ever at all,” she replied and Lassie snorted a laugh.

“Monday probably,” she said seriously, but in a laughable way. We both shot her a glare. She held her front legs up defensively. “What?! Seriously, you'll probably see them Monday. It's not like there isn't school next week. Summer holidays doesn't start till the week after,” she spoke in her defense.

“That's not the point Lassie... she meant it differently... 'we' meant it differently,” I told her and she cocked an eyebrow.

“What? Like... those are your kids and you're watching them go off to collage? Or moving out or something?” she asked and we both nodded, Cheerilee speaking our minds in a very breath taken tone.

“Yes... something like that,” she cooed and I smiled, the setting sun feeling really nice on my exposed skin. Lassie looked to me.

“Yeah... well... while you two act like pedophiles I'm gonna loot the food that's left over into the box of your truck. I want some of the melons, they're good,” she commented and I just groaned. She always had a... Lassie moment. I had no other word for it. One moment she'd be totally understanding, loving, everything... next moment she's a total pervert or just speaks her mind with absolutely no filter whatsoever.

As Lassie left, Cheerilee looked to me. “Thank you... thank you for coming today. It meant the world to not just the children but to me as well.” She smiled. I went to wink but quickly remembered my eye problem... damn, who would've thought living with just one eye was so difficult? I gave her a thumbs up and she must've known it meant something good, either that or she was just returning my bright smile.

We stood there in silence, just watching the late afternoon sun cast its orange gaze over the horizon. After a little while, Lassie whistled out to us. “Okay you two, seriously, I'll call the cops if you don't stop eyeing up foals,” she laughed then waved me over. “Come on, drive me home already before this stuff goes bad.” I gave a nod to Cheerilee but she tugged at my duster coat before I could leave.

“If it's... not too much to ask, and not out of your way... would you mind giving me a ride home?” she asked and I nodded with a smile. “I'll just be a moment.” She went back into the classroom, grabbing some things and cleaning up. Lassie whistled at me again.

“Come on man,” she said, through a mouthful of honeydew melon.

“Lassie just... just wait!” I hissed at her and she rolled her eyes like a flustered kid. Cheerilee returned and trotted over to the passenger side door of my truck where Lassie held out her paw for her.

“My lady,” Lassie said in a very chauffeur like tone. Cheerilee nodded with appreciation and stepped in, taking a seat and fidgeting slightly.

“Oh my... this is rather... different,” she commented. Lassie hopped up over her lap, then reached over and slammed the door before taking middle seat. I started the truck and Cheerilee sighed. “I remember when I first met you... the chauffeur for The Cutie Mark Crusaders... you were so...” she trailed off and I sighed.

“Arrogant, hard headed, brash... an as-” I cut myself off, biting my lower lip. “A butthole,” I said and she snickered a bit.

“Yes... quite. Maybe not to that extent but... you were really not the friendliest. But, as with everypony, you deserved a chance at least. Plus I had heard you were struggling because you were the only one of your kind from a different word. I could imagine how tough that may be. And through all that hard, crusty exterior... I saw a little colt, who did care enough to help out three little fillies,” she said with a bright and high pitched tone. “And now look at you. I wouldn't even suspect you to be the way you used to be,” she commented and I nodded.

“Thanks... it means a lot,” I said and she nodded before placing her hoof over Lassie's lap and onto my elbow, my hand being a little out of reach as I was operating the steering wheel.

“I'm sorry... about the way I acted when we first met. It's really embarrassing and I do wish it hadn't happened the way it had,” she apologized but I just nodded in reply.

“Me too... me too. I mean, not that I wish you hadn't met me like that, but I mean... I wish I hadn't been such a dink towards you... being brash and all. I was kind of a real arse,” I apologized and she nodded.

“I forgive you, and I understand why you acted the way you did,” she said and I nodded.

“Thanks. It really means a lot,” I said, driving with one hand while I put her hoof into my free hand. Lassie put her paw over top my hand. I drove through the town at a calm pace. Cheerilee looked at the dash and rubbed her hoof across it.

“It's an... interesting mode of transportation,” she informed me and I nodded.

“Her name is Cadence... and no, not like the princess. This is Cadence, she is my truck.” I smiled, continuing to drive through the town with ease. Lassie played with the radio and pretty soon the COPS theme song was playing again. Cheerilee looked at the radio and listened, then noticed the music was also playing from speakers in the door.

“Wow... interesting,” she commented, fascinated by the vehicle. Lassie nodded.

“Yeah. We're secretly cops on our spare time, eating doughnuts and drinking coffee while we could be busting perps,” she joked. Cheerilee looked to me, having only heard Lassie's voice which sounded serious along with the look she gave. Lassie quickly broke down and burst into laughter, I just rolled my eye and Cheerilee giggled.

After another few moments, we arrived to Cheerilee's house. I stopped the truck, stepped out and walked around to Cheerilee's side to help her out, rather than try to explain how to open the door which seemed to prove difficult for a lot of ponies.

Helping her out, I wasn't really expecting the kiss to the cheek she gave me. “Thank you again. And hopefully I'll see you soon,” she said and with that she trotted towards her house door.

I closed the passenger door and quickly hopped back into the driver seat. Lassie had, at this point, gotten back into her usual spot riding shotgun. “So... you guys seemed to be really... how should I put this... apologetic about when you first met... what happened?” she asked and I just shrugged but Lassie interjected before I could even speak. “And don't say it was just nothing cause I 'KNOW' it was something,” she said and I just sighed.

“I was an asshole like I usually was at that time... and she was... in heat,” I said and Lassie's eyes went wide.

“WOAH! Hold on! I thought you were a vir-” but I cut her short.

“We didn't have sex! We just... kinda... jerked off together a day later... or well, I jerked off and she...” I trailed off, trying to think of a way to put 'jerking off' into female context.

“Flicked her bean?” Lassie asked and I just kind of snickered from the way she put it.

“Yeah uhh... yeah, she... uhhm...” I trailed off and Lassie nodded.

“Ah yes... the pleasure in butterin' the biscuit,” she said and I just blushed, looking away as I drove back to the library. “You ever wonder what if feels like for females to buff the muff?” she asked and I just face-palmed.

“Can we not?” I asked, not wanting to get into the topic. Twilight broke down into a panic when she found out something happened between Cheerilee and me, thinking I had actually had sex with her and was moving out and everything. Where Lassie on the other hand just got... well, Lassie, there's no other way to put it.

Lassie nodded. “Oh... we so are getting into this topic. What's it like when you beat the meat? What's it like to feel yourself building up then bursting like a volcano, plastering your steamy hot load all over the place?” she asked sensually, fluffing her eyes at me.

“Good I guess, but the thought of it disturbs me cause I think you might watch me while I do it,” I replied and she giggled.

“Nah dude. You're too much macho for my taste. I'd rather a colt that's a little more feeble. Somepony I could really feel in charge of, not somepony I'd feel is just being delicate to me. I want to really feel like I'm getting their one hundred and ten percent while they fuck me silly,” she said and I just rolled my eye.

“Can we not talk about this?” I asked but she shook her head.

“That is to say, it's not like I haven't thought about you before while I clubbed the clam-” I cut her off.

“Enough with these ridiculous phrases!” I exclaimed but she continued anyway.

“Dipping my paw into my honey pot, thinking about my master, the one who owns me... as he bends me over and makes me his bitch, driving his cock deep inside me and filling my womb with his juices then as I fill up completely and can't take another ounce, his essence seeps out of me, leaking down the backside of my legs-” I hammered the brakes.

“Can you please stop Lassie! It's disturbing. Maybe another time it would be funny or entertaining but this is just... weird,” I pleaded with her and she went a little wide eyed.

“Oh... I'm sorry..." she trailed off and exhaled in shame. "It's just that I get excited is all... I'm still a virgin you know,” she added in the last part rather timidly and I just sighed.

“Just... listen. I know I'm never really super outgoing with my sexual urges but that's because I keep them really buried deep down. So deep down that I don't recognize them half the time,” I told her and she chuckled, saying something about 'Captain fucking obvious'. “I know everyone is different but... please, just try to act a little more... controlled. Okay?” I asked and she nodded.

“Okay... but that means that when I do go on a rant, you have to join in too, okay?” she suggested excitedly. I sighed.

“Okay-” I began and she wheezed in a deep breath of excitement, as if ready to explode. “BUT! It can't be all the time and it ESPECIALLY can't be when colts or fillies are around,” I said and she rolled her eyes.

“Well duh! You seen what I'm like with kids. They love me and not once do I screw around sexually like I do with adults,” she said and I nodded.

“Okay... we're good?” I asked and she nodded before leaning over and taking a deep whiff of my shoulder. I was at first confused but as she distracted me with the sniff, she rubbed my crotch. “EH! LASSIE!” I gasped and she rolled her eyes.

“Dude, I need something to visualize tonight while I'm polishing my pearl.” I just dipped my head as we finally arrived to the library. I shut off the truck and we both got out. Twilight met us at the door but Lassie zipped past and down to the basement, the audible sound of the door locking shut echoed throughout the library.

Twilight looked to me and I just shrugged. “Long day... she needs some time alone,” I said and Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth.

“Is she going to be okay?!” she asked in worry but I just chuckled.

“Oh... no. I mean yes. She's going to be fine. Nothing bad happened. She just needs to... relieve some built up stress,” I said, making it a little PG. Twilight rose an eyebrow in curiosity then remembered who we were talking about and caught the drift.

Spike came over with a dish of nachos. His body looked a little tensed up and... he was a little bulkier. His muscles we finally starting to show real form and tone. He must've been working out earlier today. “Hey Spike,” I greeted. “Lookin' good. You've been working out, I can tell,” I said with a glowing smile.

He smiled and looked at himself, flexing one arm while still holding the dish of nachos in his spare hand, or claw... whatever dragons called it. He looked back to me. “Really? Is it actually noticeable? Do you think Rarity would notice? You think she'd like it?” he asked out in a blur. I blinked and shrugged.

“I dunno... maybe? Who's to say what she likes and doesn't like. You'd have to ask her yourself,” I told him and his face drooped a little as he walked away.

“That's the only problem,” he stated, walking away solemnly. I reached my hand out to him, as if to gesture him to stop.

“Wait Spike, I'm sure she'd like it!” I called out but he kept walking away. I dipped my head with a sigh. With my hands over my face, I let out an exhausted groan as I flopped down on the couch. “Oh man... I need a nap,” I muttered, forgetting how much energy school takes out of me, despite the lack of actual physical activity involved.

Twilight stepped up to the side of the couch and looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. “Have you eaten today?” she asked and I nodded. “What?” she asked again.

“I had some fruits and stuff at lunch time,” I replied, remembering the short breaks in between conversations that Cheerilee and I had to get some food.

“Are you still hungry? Spike made nachos,” she offered but I shook my head.

“It's okay,” I replied but she just sighed, turned towards the kitchen and began trotting away.

“I'll make you some anyway. You never know, you might just be hungry when you smell them,” she implied and I just smiled with an exhausted exhale.

“Mares,” I muttered with a faint smile, rolling over on the couch and facing the backrest as I quickly dozed off...

Twilight's perspective...

I put the plate of steamy hot, cheesy nachos on my mitted hoof and walked back into the living room. I returned to Evan's side at the couch and hovered the nachos near him, so he could smell their aroma.

However, despite this, he didn't even stir. “Evan?” I asked but I got no response. I used my magic to set the nachos aside then leaned over to listen to him. He was dozing peacefully, without a care in the world.

I smiled as I shook my head, muttering to myself with a smile while I rolled my eyes. “Stallions...”

Burdy's perspective,

Stalingrad...

The floor of the building shook, making me realize I was in a dark, cold place. Small rocks and debris cluttered down on me while the building shook from the massive bomber planes that flew overhead. Despite the considerably low temperatures, it didn't feel all so bad... almost as if I were used to it. The sound of planes flying overhead caught my attention, along with the racket in the streets outside.

I stood up, though a little difficult due to a bit of stiffness that I quickly pushed away. I grabbed a rifle that lay beside me... my rifle. 'Wait... why do I think it's my rifle?' I wondered as I picked up the battered SVT-40.

Holding the fore-grip with my left hand, I slid a magazine into the gun then pulled the stock up to my shoulder while I reached forwards with my right and racked back the bolt handle, letting it slam shut naturally and chamber a round.

I quickly crept through the shadows, doing my best to avoid the creaky parts of the floor. My breathing was a little raspy and I could see my breath. It was the depth of winter, late December... already a few months into this battle. 'Wait... what year is it? Where am I? How do I know what battle it is if I don't even know what battle it is?' I thought to myself.

The sounds of German voices caught my attention and I crept silently up to a wall, pressing myself against it and listening to the soldier's voices as they clumsily tromped through the building. I couldn't understand what they were saying but I could tell they were irritated about something, and vastly complaining about it. They sounded a little hungry... and cold.

I slowly crept over to the edge of the wall then spun out. Their eyes all went wide. There was six of them in total. I already had my rifle lifted and swung the sights towards the center mass of my first target. I fired once, the impact staggering him. I fired again, then a third time, knocking him back and into two others. The other three began lifting their weapons. I swung my rifle and popped a high shot on the fourth soldier, hitting his head and pinging off his helmet while the top part of his skull shattered, spewing crimson onto the others.

The others, despite being covered in their friend's brain matter, lifted their guns on me, one armed with a rifle, the other a submachine gun. I jerked on the trigger of my rifle while I backpedaled, blasting off the remaining shots in my rifle with quick succession. I wasn't sure if I had hit anyone with those shots but I didn't stay to find out, quickly leaping through a doorway as all hell broke lose.

Screaming in the hallway was quickly followed by the chatter of automatic fire. I hugged my body to the floor as bullets ripped through the walls of the old battered building. Rubble and light dust cluttered down on me as the Germans blasted a bit high, spraying where my body would be if I were standing.

I reached into my heavy coat and pulled out what to me looked like a can of preserved goods, perhaps beans, but it had a little protruding top with a pin and lever. I yanked the pin out and released my finger from over top the lever, letting it spring free.

Tossing the can shaped grenade back into the hallway, there was a brief instance where a scream could be heard, followed by a deafening explosion that echoed in the hallways, making my hearing go mute for a moment.

My sense of balance was briefly off-put but quickly returned, albeit, without my hearing. I grabbed my rifle and stood up, quickly reloading the spent magazine. I peaked down the hallway and made sure it was clear then proceeded down the hallways, towards the sound of the gunfire in the streets below.

I reached a room which for the most part had been utterly destroyed. I navigated my way past all the rubble and to a small broken opening in the wall, avoiding the windows nearby. I looked down to the streets below, seeing my fellow comrades fighting the oppressive Germans who scattered the streets, accompanied by tanks.

I racked back the bolt on my rifle and placed the end of the fore-grip on the rubble ledge, being cognoscente not to let my rifle barrel protrude out the window. The shots wouldn't be terribly difficult to make, probably around two hundred meters meters, give or take for each target...

I reached up to the rear notch sight of my rifle and gently elevated the slide to the '2' designation. I made myself comfortable and began to control my breathing as I lined up the first shot, putting the tip of my front sight on the target's chest as I gently squeezed the trigger.

The gun tried to jerk but I kept it as still as I could. The muzzle compensator blew gasses to the sides, spewing up some dust and small rocks. My shot was masked by the sounds of fighting from down below.

I lined up a second shot with yet another target and fired with similar results. I began dropping Germans like flies, only stopping to reload. Soon enough, the heat from the barrel began to give off a mirage effect, the steam vapors impairing my aim. I muttered a silent curse but no sooner had I, a chunk of wall erupted beside my face, spewing debris into my cheek.

I crawled back staggeringly and in just seconds, a second shot whizzed past the side of my neck, just grazing my shoulder. Despite not being a direct hit, the shot still shocke me, forcing a slight wince of pain.

I leapt u and ran into the deths of the building. “Fuck... a sniper,” I swore, without telling myself to say that. Dribbles of blood leaked from my shoulder as I rushed along through the rubble, keeping myself low. I found another spot. A place where the concrete wall had partially given way and left a small see hole in the wall.

I looked through the hole and searched for my formidable enemy, but he was well hidden... The only reason I knew he wasn't on ground level was due to the fact he had struck me after I had staggered back into the building from his first shot.

I decided perhaps to lure him out. I kicked away some more of the rubble to make my shots more visible. I set the rifle down but protruded the barrel out about five inches, to let my muzzle flash be even more evident. I began lining up shots and firing, taking out soldier after soldier, just waiting until-

A piece of wall shattered beside my face, spewing even more coarse debris into my face, this time on the opposite cheek. He either wasn't a very good shot, or was far away. I pulled my rifle back for one moment.

Reaching up to my head, I took off the ushanka hat which, up until now, I hadn't know I was wearing. I grabbed a piece of window frame and used it to hoist my hat. I snuck around and found a large window with a small hole in the wall beneath.

Again I baited myself out by protruding my rifle barrel out the hole and firing wildly at the enemy force. After expending a full magazine's worth of ammo, I jacked my hat up slowly, towards the large window. Very slowly I let the hat come into view of anyone watching, while at the same time watching for the telltale sign of a sniper.

There was a moment's pause before a glint of light shone, some three hundred meters away on a rooftop balcony, followed by my hat being torn into shreds. The stick was ripped from my hands. It had served its purpose.

I crawled away and to another location. It would be a helluva shot with open sights, especially those on my SVT-40. Taking a flight of decrepit stairs, I found myself on a higher level and set myself up in a relatively open spot, but I only needed to use it briefly. The room had been blasted apart an there was barely any cover, but that didn't bother me.

I laid flat and pulled myself to the edge of the floor, then rested my rifle down, quickly reloading it before scanning for my opposition. I found him out rather quickly. He was, at minimum, two hundred and seventy meters, probably more. I set the rear notch sight to the '3' setting and gently rested the rifle fore-grip on my left forearm.

My enemy hadn't moved spots, probably because he figured I was dead and that none of my comrades below knew of his presence... oh how wrong he was. I steadied my aim and began to gently squeeze back until I knew I had hit her sweet spot. Any more pressure and she'd go off.

I took a moment and closed my eyes, just imagining it happening before it truly did. My eyes slowly opened, the darkness of the bloody battlefield nearly blinding me from it's horror. My challenge awaited me. I finished the squeeze, making sure to hold the rifle tight to minimize the recoil that might off-put the rifle's already somewhat poor harmonics.

It was like everything slowed enough for me to see the bullet fly, the vapor trail whizzing behind it. Flying through the air at sonic speeds, the bullet quickly reached it's destination. The bullet slammed into the left forearm of my perpetrator before drilling into his chest, puncturing his lung and finally blowing out his back side and knocking him back.

I took a moment to savour the feel. The feel of a hunt completed. Movement caught my eye, or rather, important movement on the enemy's grounds snagged my attention. A tank commander was barking orders just as a tank turret aimed at my position.

Eyes wide, I leapt up and began to run back into the depths of the building, but it was too late. An eruption behind me sent me catapulting through the walls and subsequently down the decrepit old floors that crumbled beneath the quake of the explosion. I fell through floor after floor, sometimes trying to catch myself with the next level but always failing as the resulting impact further knocked the wind out of me.

I finally crashed against a solid surface. I laid on my back, groaning in pain from both the fall and the explosion that had nearly claimed my life. Orders that were being barked in German echoed through the hallways nearby.

I tried to get up but no sooner had I, a rifle butt-stock battered me in the face, knocking me back down while my head spun. One of the numerous soldiers began to say something, rather angrily at that.

Another one said something but then there was an audible smacking sound, like someone had just been slapped across the cheek. I looked, my vision a little blurry, as one soldier dressed in officer uniform, stepped up and drew his fancy Luger pistol on me. Just as he was about to fire, the wall beside him shattered apart. A hulking mass broke through the wall and tackled the officer, along with two others, to the ground while his handgun went off.

A large man straddled a DP machine gun in his arms and quickly lit up the remaining troops. Screams, along with the chugging of his machine gun, could be heard throughout the building as they were slain.

After a brief fanfare, the man dropped the smoking gun, and drew a twin set of Tokarev pistols, using them to execute the Germans he had tackled during his grand entrance. Finally looking to me, I realized it was my old comrade. “Getting into trouble again?” he asked cheerily, to which I just rolled my eyes as he helped me up.

I rolled my shoulders and stretched out my back. He was about to say something, when the shout of a German interrupted him. A small stick with a piece of metal hooked to it clinked towards us. Derreck's eyes went wide as he pushed me behind himself. I could feel the blast but he had stopped the immediate danger with his own body.

Our bodies were tossed back a few feet. Luckily the hand grenade hadn't landed too close to us. Derreck groaned and I shuffled out from under him to examine his injuries. His face was bloody but there was two noticeable cuts. One going straight down the right side of his face while the other was an angled slice that traveled across his face, making an 'X' on his right cheek.

The final wound was a piece of shrapnel lodged in his left cheek, which he promptly pulled out, also pulling out some meat. He tossed the metal and stuffed the hanging meat back inside his face just as a few Germans popped around the corner. He quickly drew his twin set of pistols and peppered them down.

Despite peppering the group, the pistols's lack of kinetic force left a few of them staggering but still able to fight. With absolute, and partially improbable and ridiculously unbelievable, finesse, Derreck tossed his handguns into the air, the spent magazines flying out. Reaching into his coat, he pulled out two fresh magazines and tossed them up. The magazines matched perfectly into the magazine wells and as the pistols landed in his hands, he thumbed the slide release and peppered the staggering Germans.

Derreck looked back to me, a fury burning in his eyes like nothing I had ever seen...

I awoke with a gasp, profuse sweat making my body stick to the couch a little. “Ugh...” I groaned as I rolled back over. “Man... what a messed up dream,” I muttered to myself. My conscious spoke up.

'How do you know it was just a dream?' it asked and I rolled my eyes. “Cause I'm not old enough to have fought in World War Two... dur,” I said back, feeling foolish for talking to myself.

Through the sound of my heavy heartbeat, I heard hooves trotting down the stairs, followed by a saint-like voice. “Evan, honey are you alright?” my mother asked and I nodded to myself.

“Yeah... yeah just... bad dreams,” I replied. I stroked the sides of my head attentively, wondering why on earth I would've had a dream so vivid and historic like that.

“Would you maye want to... come sleep with me? I can keep you company,” she offered and I nodded, standing up and drowsing my way up the stairs. I followed her into bed and crashed beside her. She wrapped her hooves around me and I fell asleep in her safe embrace...