Baltimare, third person,

Saturday, May 16th, 2014…

Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof down then flinched in slight pain. “And I say we gotta leave now!” she barked an order at the conductor. He shook his head.

“Sorry ma’am… the railway is all backed up, ponies trying to leave and enter the city, it’s a mess,” he replied.

Rainbow Dash stormed off, her friends following her in haste. Fluttershy peeped up in her usual timid voice. “Oh Dashie, I’m sure it will be okay,” she tried to assure her friend.

“No it won’t be, not unless I get home right away!” Rainbow Dash said aloud and tried to take flight. Her right wing however, spasmed in pain and she crashed to the ground not five feet away. She bit her lip hard, trying to suppress the pain of her wing that she had broke in her fight with Freeze.

Applejack trotted up to her friend’s side. “Now jus’ calm down sugar-cube, er yah’ll gonna hurt yerself worse,” she told the other mare.

“But I have to get back… I have to! I promised Scootaloo I’d be there! AJ, you’re the element of honesty, you know what a promise means!” She turned to Twilight. “Twilight, cast a teleportation spell or something, get us home to Ponyville,” she opted but Twilight just shook her head in defeat.

“I’m sorry Dash but… I can’t possibly teleport us that far, I’d be exhausting and I don’t even know if we get that far,” she replied. Dash just collapsed with her hooves over her head, biting her lip in distress.

Burdy’s perspective…

The teacher stood at the front of the classroom, writing things down on the blackboard with orange chalk. Derreck leaned over and whispered to me, “Aren’t the supposed to use white fucking chalk on a black board?”

I let out a remorseful sigh and dipped my head into my left hand as a headache pounded inside my skull, thumping against all sides. The whole room seemed to have a red haze to it that didn’t help my hammering headache in any way.

Sweat rolled down my face and I found it overly difficult to concentrate on what the teacher was blabbering on about. Something about the angles of a triangle that… oh fuck it, I’d never need this shit in real life anyway. I wasn’t planning on becoming a rocket scientist.

The teacher turned around. “And that concludes today’s lesson. Your homework is pages eighty-four to ninety, all questions. You have the remainder of the period to get started,” she informed the class. I flumped my head into the desk, resulting in a loud ‘THUMP!’ that echoed throughout the otherwise quiet classroom.

The class however didn’t seem to notice, as this was one of my general reactions to homework. I decided to perhaps at least look at the questions, maybe it wasn’t that bad. I opened the textbook to page eighty-six… there was like… seven numbers, and each number had like five questions about a goddamned triangle that was so fucking useless and had…

I calmed myself. If I got any angrier I’d have an aneurysm or something. I groaned and squirmed in my seat. There was no possible way I’d get this done. How the hell did I end up here anyway? Wasn’t I done school? I was, I had passed with academic grades and everything… so why was I back here?

I began to panic. More sweat began to pour down my face. I started getting the jitters… shivers rattling my spine. I gasped for air…

Monday, May 18th, 2014…

I jolted awake with a wheeze for air, my vision a blur. I grasped at my face, looking around feverishly… I was at home… the library… “Oh thank goddess…” I whispered in relief. For the first time ever really… I was truly, heart and soul, happy that I was in Equestria and not back on Earth. If I woke up and I was in my own bed I’d have a panic, thinking perhaps my dream actually happened and I had forgotten to do my homework…

In seconds I realized that I had been sweating heavily, and my bed sheets were soaked and disheveled. There was also a slight wet mark in my mattress. I calmed my shaky breathing to a regular pace and stood up.

Another few seconds past and I realized it reeked of sweat and body odour. At least it didn’t smell as bad as when we got back. When we had arrived back home Saturday night… technically it was Sunday morning but it like three minutes after midnight so…

The library was still a mess like we had left it, but the food that was left out had started to go bad, namely the eggs, along with some of the other trash Lassie and Discord left out. On top of that, I had dropped Discord off at Fluttershy’s cabin so he could tend to the animals so that left only Lassie Derreck and I to clean the mess.

Between Lassie, Derreck and myself, it took us the entirety of Sunday to clean the house and make it smell decent again. My vision still blurry, I realized I’d need to put my eye patch back on.

I slipped on both my holy cross necklace and the leather eye patch, then took a look at my watch, which read ‘0458’. I rolled my eyes. It was a little on the early side considering I hadn’t gotten to bed until nearly midnight last night but…

I stood up and grabbed my bed sheets. Puttering up the stairs, I began mumbling a tune to myself, but it was mostly garbled and mismatched tunes. As I reached the living room, I noticed that Derreck was no longer sleeping on the couch, in fact he wasn’t even home anymore. “He musta left last night… this morning,” I corrected myself tiredly.

I moseyed on into the washroom and tossed my bed sheets into a hamper. I’d have to make a note to do some laundry today. A thought crossed my mind. I could do it the old fashion way, wash it in a basin of water then leave it out to dry.

I quickly set aside the thought, remembering how nice it was to have bed sheets that had been dried with fabric softener. I left the door to the washroom open, since there was nopony else home to keep myself private from, and slipped off my undies before playing around with the bathtub taps. I would've taken a shower, but right now a pony sized shower was way too small and inconvenient for my liking.

I finally found the perfect temperature and plugged the tub to let it fill. As I waited, I ended up looking over to the shelf and saw bubble bath maker. I smiled faintly. I’d treat myself. I squirted some of the soapy substance into the bath and stirred it around. Bubbles formulated and made the surface of the water all foamy and fun looking, just like the cover on the bottle.

With the tub nearly filled, I shut off the water, slipped off my eye patch and necklace then set them aside. Very carefully, I slid into the small bathtub. As the warm water embraced my body, I let out a satisfied exhale. I lowered my body and washed water through my hair which was getting to be a little long… and as of a few days ago, grey along the sides.

I let the warm embrace take me away as I felt my mind slipping off into unconsciousness. I was pretty tired. However, before I could totally fall asleep, a cheer boomed in the home that jolted me awake.

Before I could say anything however, a body jumped into the tub. “BUBBLES!” Screamed the all too familiar voice of my erratic canine companion. I just groaned as Lassie splashed around in the already confined tub.

“Lassie…” I grumbled. She stopped and looked to me.

“What?” she asked innocently. I pointed over the tub sides, where puddles of water resided from her goofing around. “So?” she replied and I just groaned.

“I was having a nice relaxing bath… and besides, what are you doing up at five in the morning?” I asked and she shrugged.

“You woke me up talking in your sleep. Something about White fucking chalk?” she informed me. I just exhaled in a rather annoyed way.

“So you just HAD to wait for me to make a nice warm bath, get comfortable, then jump in and make a mess?” I asked in a ticked off voice. She nodded then flicked water at me.

“Of course. No better way to get you up. Besides, I need a bath,” she said as she began walking circles inside the tube, her long, wet, droopy tail sloshing water over the sides of the tub.

“I’ll take you to the lake later,” I told her and she just scoffed.

“Actually, that won’t do. You see, I’m an English Rough Collie,” she stated and I just blinked. “In case you didn’t know… and I just found out, English Rough Collie’s need to be washed and tended to constantly to avoid them getting matted fur… whatever that is,” Lassie informed me.

She turned around and plopped her rump right into my lap. “So how’s bout it owner. Care to pedicure and pamper your pet that you ohhh so love and cherish,” she said in a cheeky voice.

I sighed. “Fine… but you’re cleaning the floors.”

She huffed then nodded. “Fine, but this better be one good goddess damned pedicure… I don’t even know what a pedicure is, I just read it in a book,” she mentioned. I just began scrubbing her fur, making sure to get deep and right to the skin.

I hoped that her loose fur that came out wouldn’t plug the drain but if it did, I’d just make Lassie clean that too. As I began washing up higher, namely around the back of her ears, she’d grunt and huff happily.

Her rump would twitch and grind against my lap which… kinda felt a little too good. She let out a satisfied sigh. “If that’s not a pedicure… I don’t know what is,” she commented then stood up and shook, splashing water all over the floor.

I unplugged the tub and stepped out, using a towel to dry myself off. The snorkeling sound of last bits of water going down the drain echoed in the bathroom. I stepped out of the puddles and tossed Lassie a few extra dry towels. “Here, clean up your mess,” I told her as I continued to dry myself.

She just rolled her eyes and tossed the towels over the wet spots, not bothering to actually mop it up. As I set the towel aside, Lassie spoke out and zipped over. “Woah! Look at that thing! It's huge… I mean, it’s not absurdly humongous like porn actors, but look at it!” she exclaimed, taking hold of my erection that I didn’t know I had.

“AHH! EH!” I gasped, jolting back and trying to hide my erect cock from view, and failing miserably at that.

“What?!” Lassie exclaimed.

“Don’t do that,” I replied and she cocked an eyebrow.

“Why not? I was just looking. It’s kinda cool looking. It doesn’t look at all like any cocks I’ve seen in pornos,” she commented and my cheeks went a hue of red.

“Just… it’s weird okay,” I told her and she scoffed.

“Why is it weird?” she asked.

“Because you’re my dog,” I told her and she rolled her eyes with a 'Pfft'.

“So… I just wanted to look. Besides, you fucked Twilight, who is a pony… WHO, I might add, you consider your mother so that’s like… double whammy!”

I bit my lower lip and she stepped forwards, still on all fours and looked up to me with an almost sultry look. “So can I please just take a look at it… the thing looks interesting,” she asked. She had me kinda pinned a little with her arguments.

“Fine… but just looking,” I told her. I looked away in embarrassment. This was absolutely absurd. First I had sex with my mother, now my dog was eyeing up my cock… what next?!

“Wow… it’s all like… veiny and stiff and stuff… And it's not all flared out on the end like a horse cock. I mean, it's not quite as big as a horse cock, but then again I guess ponies can only fuck for like... twenty seconds tops... a few minutes if they stop to calm down, but those pornos are the worst cause it feels like you're just watching a stallion trying hard not to cum...” she trailed off and I felt her one paws brush up against it.

I let out a sharp gasp of pleasure and jerked back, butting up against the wall. “Haa… I s-said looking only,” I told her but she persisted with cornering me and taking a closer look. I squirmed against the wall as she fondled with my erection.

“Calm down,” she ordered me. “I just wanna take a better observation of this thing,” she told me. My right leg stiffened and jerked a bit. “Oh cool… it twitches without cumming… are you making it do that?” she asked.

“It’s involuntary,” I hissed.

“Cool!” she commented then stroked me a bit more. “Oh hey look, there’s like… a sheath or something,” she commented as she began playing with me a bit more. Oh goddess… I was getting jerked off by my dog… I felt so ashamed and disgraced with myself.

Without another second however, she just stopped. “Well, thanks,” she said and walked away.

“Ugh… that’s it?” I asked, sort of in disbelief. She looked back to me.

“What… did you think I was gonna suck you off or something?” she asked and then fluffed her tail and walked with a sway in her hips. I just shook the image, and part of the occurrence, from my mind. I cannot believe that just happened. This world was tearing me apart. If having sex with my mom wasn’t enough… having my talking dog feel me up…

I slipped my necklace and eye patch back on then mingled down to my room, looking for some fresh clothes. I’d have to do laundry today, or at least tomorrow by the latest. I grabbed a simple pair of underwear and moseyed back upstairs.

Lassie was gnawing on a frozen pizza while watching some morning kids cartoons. I looked to my watch. It was almost five thirty. I mingled beside the couch while Lassie continued to chew at the frozen piece of pizza. “You know… the idea is that you’re supposed to cook that,” I told her.

She chewed and chomped hard at the pizza and took off a good slice then shook her head. “Nah… that’d take too long,” she commented. I just rolled my eyes and took a seat next to her. As I did however, my stomach grumbled. Lassie wafted the pizza at me.

“Wan’ some?” she asked through a mouthful. I looked over to the chewed up pizza, covered in dog drool.

“I’ll pass,” I replied. We started watching the morning cartoons. This particular cartoon was about an evil goldfish that had a goofy octopus sidekick that always screwed up his master plan in some way. It was… okay I guess, and the black and white color really made me feel nostalgic.

As the half-hour cartoon came to its conclusion, I yawned and decided to get something to eat. As I walked into the kitchen, my bare feet felt a little chilly. I hopped a little through the kitchen. “Wonder what it’s like having hooves,” I muttered to myself as I began looking for something suitable.

Lassie opened the fridge and I looked over to her. “What’s it like walking on the cold floor with bare paws?” I asked curiously. She just shrugged.

“Meh… the pads on my paws are like the calluses on your hands,” she informed me. I just nodded and watched as she pulled out some eggs and a block of cheese. “Grab the milk would yah,” she ordered me.

I went for the cartons of milk as she asked me to do, while she grabbed some potatoes and bread. “Scrambled egg sandwiches?” I asked but she shook her head.

First she got the pan on the stove nice and heated up, then used some butter to lubricate the surface a little. “Mind cracking like… a dozen or so eggs into a bowl for me?” she asked and I obliged. She took out a whisk and beat them then poured them into a pan. As she did that, I heated up a second pan and started frying potatoes.

“I wish we had some bacon,” I mentioned and she rubbed her chin.

“What’s bacon taste like?” she asked curiously, having never been gifted with the taste of it. I doubt there was even a single place in Equestria I could buy bacon. I suppose I could try and make it myself, but it’d turn out bad and I’d probably be shunned or something.

“Bacon tastes like… it’s probably the single most delicious food there is,” I stated. She licked her chops.

“Mmm… oh goddess that sounds good… hey wanna do me a favour?” she asked.

“If you ask nicely,” I responded.

“Go kill me a pig, cut it up and make me some bacon,” she joked. I just laughed at the joking request. She took out a steel spatula and began scrambling the eggs. “Okay… shred up some cheese,” she ordered me.

“Oh… I know what you’re doing,” I said. I shredded up some cheese with a grater and sprinkled the cheese over the eggs… a lot of cheese.

Just before they were done, I toasted some bread slices and buttered them. As we finished, we split the food down the middle and loaded up our plates with a high cholesterol breakfast.

As we sat down I looked at the food on my plate, said food reminding me of back home. “You know… I once had a heart condition eh,” I stated and Lassie looked up with a cocked eyebrow.

“Really? What was it?” she asked.

“Well… you see, I used to do a lot of physical labour, between playing football, chopping wood… being a lumberjack-“ Lassie cut me short.

“Woah-woah-WOAH… You were a lumberjack?” she asked and I sighed.

“Yeah-yeah… I’m Canadian and I was a lumberjack for a while,” I muttered, admitting to the old stereotype.

“No… it’s not that… you said you’re like what… seventeen?” she asked.

“Oh… jeeze… ah dunno. Probably something like that,” I commented. She just stared at me.

“What do you mean ‘Something like that’? How old are you?” she asked. The question stumped me.

I started rubbing the one side of my forehead then stroked down to my neck and gave it an attentive rub while I thought. “Okay uhm… let’s see… I was born back in ninety-five… and it’s twenty-fourteen now…” I said and Lassie blinked.

“Woah! You’re wayyyy older than seventeen… you’re like… nineteen,” she said, doing the math for me.

“Uhm… no actually, not yet. I was born in July, so I'd be almost nineteen,” I replied and she blinked.

“Wait! I thought you said you were seventeen when you arrived here,” she interrogated. I just rolled my eyes with a sigh.

“Well… I forgot how old I was,” I said, trying to forget about it.

“What do you mean you forgot how old you were? How do you forget how old you are?!” She almost laughed.

“Because… I was working okay. I was just living day to day… month to month. I didn’t really… I wasn’t really looking forward to anything so I wasn’t keeping track of the days,” I replied and she stifled a laugh.

“Not looking forwards to your birthday?! How could you not look forward to your birthday. There’s like, balloons and cake and-“ I cut her short.

“I was working on my birthday last year,” I commented.

“Okay, so you worked during the day but you came home then partied right?” she asked but I shook my head.

“I worked late,” I said, nearly wanting to forget the whole topic.

“Okay, so you worked late, doesn’t mean your mom wouldn’t have thrown you a party. Am I right?” she asked but I took a deep, hard swallow.

“She was drunk,” I said, under my breath and barely loud enough for her to hear. She stopped in her tracks. I had told Lassie a few stories about my real mother, she must’ve just forgot in haste to figure out why I hadn’t remembered my birthday, nor how old I was.

“Oh…” she trailed off and looked solemnly to her plate. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to bring it up,” she apologized sincerely. I just nodded my head from side to side.

“No surprise really,” I whispered and Lassie bit her lip.

“Well… what about a day or two later? Throw yourself a party,” she opted but I just shook my head.

“Like I said… I just lived day to day, not really looking forwards to anything… and getting older wasn’t something I really felt like celebrating,” I muttered.

She bit her lip. “Okay… well… how ‘bout your last birthday party… fun right?” she asked, hoping to enlighten the topic. I just shrugged.

“I was pretty young… still in public school. I was at my buddy’s house for a few days and my mom was supposed to come pick me up… but she got drunk off her ass and I didn’t have a way to get back home… I guess I could’ve walked but that woulda taken a few hours… so my friend’s mom bought me a cake and they sang me happy birthday,” I said, trying to hold back the tears in my eye, my breathing a little shallow.

Lassie bit her lip, seeing the downwards spiral this topic was taking. “Let’s go back to your heart condition… you we’re saying you were a lumberjack… at like seventeen?” she asked.

“Actually… I was about fifteen at the time, turning sixteen.” I replied, shaking off the previous topic.

“Jesus… how could you handle that?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“I was always a big kid, a Canadian no less. All Canadians are lumberjacks," I joked. "Anyway, between all the physical labor and exertion, I liked to eat a lot to sustain my metabolism. So every breakfast since I was… I dunno, about eleven or twelve, I’d have somewhere between a dozen and eighteen eggs, with shredded cheese and buttered toast for breakfast… every morning,” I told her and she blinked.

“Goddess… talk about cholesterol,” she laughed and I nodded.

“That was part of it…anyway, so I was out and about the one day, getting groceries and what not, and I got some blood work done. Anyway, the doctor comes back with my results and is just… his mind is blown. First thing he asked me was: Are you on drugs?” I laughed and Lassie stifled a laugh that ended up leaving through her nostrils.

I settled myself and continued. “So I told him no. Then he asked if I was under the influence of alcohol, again I said no. Then he asked if I had just participated in a marathon or if I had just run a long distance… and I told him no,” I said then snickered a bit.

“What?” Lassie asked and I rose my index figure, motioning her to wait a moment.

“So he… pfft… pulls out this piece of paper and is like: Oh sir, your dystonic and systolic rate is through the roof. You’re running an extremely high risk of a heart attack, you could could have a heart attack at any moment!” I just began to laugh and snicker but Lassie was blinking, unsure what was so funny.

“Wha… what’s so funny?” Lassie asked and I just shrugged.

“Oh I dunno… a regular man’s systolic rate should be about one-twenty, mine was two-twenty-four or something like that, and diastolic rate should be around eighty… mine was one-sixty,” I laughed and Lassie just blinked.

“I… I still don’t see what’s so funny about that… I mean if your rates were that high… you could’ve died at any moment… hey wait a minute! Your rates aren't still that high are they?” she gasped but I shook my head.

“Nah… it took me a long while to get it back down, at my grandmother’s request. For like a year and a half I was eating berries and melons with fruit drinks. Kinda got me a little antsy when everyone else would be eating steak and eggs with bacon. After a while my rates kinda returned to normal. They were over by just a little bit but for a young kid it was manageable,” I told her and she just exhaled in relief.

“Whew… why do you think that’s so funny?” she asked and I just shrugged with my hands up.

“I dunno… makes for an entertaining story I guess,” I said, not quite sure what I found so hilarious about the story.

“Well… don’t go dying on me from a heart attack,” Lassie said as she started devouring her food.

“Don’t you go dying of a heart attack,” I said and she looked up, a thick string of cheese dangling from her lips and stringing down to the plate of eggs. “I see how much junk food you eat, keep it up and you might end up just like me,” I told her. She just blinked then continued eating carelessly.

As we sat there and ate, I felt a pain, not a real physical pain… but an emotional one. The memories from our earlier topic resurfaced… all those birthdays-

I scrunched my nose and bit down hard, clenching my eye shut. Lassie looked up to me. “Hey… you’re not… having a heart attack or something… are you?” she asked worriedly.

I just shook my head. “No-no… just a… piece of shell I think.” I lied, trying even harder to push the memories away, suppress them and bury them so deep that they’d never come up again.

Lassie and I finished breakfast and began cleaning the place up as best we could. Just as we were washing the dishes, there was a knock at the door. I left Lassie to the dishes and went to answer the door.

I swung it open, only to find a young pegasi at the door. Oh wait! I remember this one. Scootles… err… something like that. “Hey… Scoot…sss,” I said, remembering that the pegasus filly’s name started with Scoot. Fuck it, I’d just call her Scoots until I remembered what her name was.

“I’m really sorry to bother you but… is Rainbow Dash here? I can’t find her anywhere!” the filly asked and I turned and looked into the house.

“Uhm… no, sorry kid, she’s not,” I said.

“Oh… oh no! Oh where is she?!” Scoots cried to herself, tears almost welting in her eyes.

I thought about it. The news had said traffic, railways and even the docks in that area where backed up and jammed due to all the thoroughfare trying to get in and out of the city. “She's probably in Baltimare… traffic’s really backed up,” I informed her and she bit her lower lip and became fidgety.

“Oh no! But she promised she’d be here! She promised!” Scoots eyes began to water up with tears.

“Be here for what?” I asked curiously.

“She was gonna come with me for Family Appreciation day at school… And Rainbow Dash was gonna be there as my sister… and… and she promised… but she isn’t here,” her tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

I scratched my head. If this was so important… then why the hell hadn’t Rainbow Dash just flown home… I mean, yeah it was a long way but she was fast. Scoots began to weep as she spoke. “I was gonna be the coolest kid in class… because Rainbow Dash was gonna be there with me! And she was gonna do a Sonic Rainboom!” she cried.

I remembered something Twilight once told me… something about Rainbow Dash adopting a filly as her sister or something… shit, I wish now I hadn’t thought all those stories to be utterly useless. “Okay-okay-okay kid… it’ll be okay… I’m sure things’ll work out,” I tried to assure her. She just blinked and looked up to me.

“But it won’t! I just know it won’t! School starts in an hour and she isn’t here!” Her tears and saddened face almost made me want to start crying… they just reminded me of… I bit my lip and tried again to suppress the memories trying to surface themselves.

She began to trot off, still crying to herself. I bit my lip so hard I nearly yelped in pain. Something… I don’t even know what it was, seemed to flash in my mind as my head jerked upright. “HEY WAIT! KID!” I called out but she kept trotting away.

I rushed out of the library, still in my boxers, and cut her off. “Wait… okay… so Rainbow Dash isn’t here, and I know she promised but I’m sure there’s a good reason she isn’t here… how about you get somepony else to step in for her,” I offered but she just continued to sniffle.

“But Rainbow Dash is the coolest… and I wanted her to be here more than anything,” she got choked up on a sniffle.

“Okay… okay but what if… you got somepony… someone almost as cool as Rainbow Dash to be your family just for today?” I asked and she just blinked.

“But… but there’s nopony around that’s almost as cool as her.” I just stood there for a moment before realizing she wasn’t catching on to what I was hinting at.

I snapped with both hands then pointed my thumbs at myself. “How about this guy? I got some cool stories that’d probably make the average pony’s tale seem dull,” I offered but she just blinked.

“B-b-but… you’re not my family,” she countered and I just sighed.

“Well… uhh… does it really matter right now?” I asked and she just stood there, hiccupping, finally done her crying. “Then it’s settled. I’ll be your brother for the day, and be super-cool just for you,” I informed her. “Just let me get changed.” I ran into the house and slipped into a fresher pair of underwear.

I looked around for a nice pair of pants. Derreck had ruined my nice trousers… well, he hadn’t ruined them technically… but they were black now. On that note… Rarity was gonna be so pissed when she got back. I had thought yesterday that I’d simply pay her back, but then I realized I had less than five hundred bits left… I don’t even know where all my money went. I mean, yeah I had gotten some fancy meals but I had like fifty grand… now I had barely a one percent of that… dammit! Where the hell'd it all go?!

I scourged through my dirty clothes, only finding one pair of decently clean pants. They had a stain on the side of the left leg from mustard but… the pants were khaki colored dress pants. It’d look so goofy.

I discarded the thought and slipped them on. With that, I put on a white V-neck t-shirt and finally flipped on my duster coat. As I went to leave, I grabbed my leather cowboy hat. Lassie hollered out to me. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?!” she asked inquiringly.

“I gotta go to… it’s a long story,” I replied and she rushed to my side.

“Well you’re not leaving me behind to clean everything. I’m coming with you!” she announced. I just nodded as we rushed out, making sure to close the door behind us.

Scooter was there, waiting and obviously unsure about all this. “Trust me kiddo, this’ll be fine,” I assured her. I opened the passenger door on Cadence, Lassie hopped right into the back seat. “Back seat driver! Totally call it!” she proclaimed her territory.

I helped Scoots into the passenger seat then shut the door before running over to my side and hopping in. Lassie looked over. “What’s the rush?” my canine friend asked and Scoot nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Woah! Your dog can talk?!” she asked in shock and I nodded.

“Yeah, don’t get her started,” I replied as I started the truck. I reached into the back and grabbed my big handgun, and secured it to my leg with the custom leg holster.

“Okay seriously... what’s going on?” Lassie asked.

“We’re… going to school. Lassie, today we’re Scoots’s family." Scoot just blinked in uncertainty.

Lassie leaned out of her seat and grabbed my arm, rolling back my duster sleeve to check the time. “School starts in like… almost an hour,” she stated and I nodded.

“I know… but maybe we should get some morning treats before departing for a long…” I shuddered. “Day of school,” I said with a faked smile. Lassie belched loudly.

“Oh I dunno man… I don’t know if I could handle anything-“ I cut her short.

“Tim Horsetons?” I asked the two.

Scoots liked the idea, she didn’t say anything but I caught a faint glimpse of her tongue licking her lips. Lassie’s ears perked up in attention from the comment. “Tim Horsetons... it is,” I said before tugging the gearshift into drive and pulling away with haste.

Within a few minutes we pulled up to the Tim Horsetons, but unlike my world’s equivalent… this one unfortunately didn’t have a drive-thru.

I left Cadence running as I hopped out. Lassie, so much excitement built up inside of her, didn’t even bother waiting for me to open the passenger door and simply hopped over the center console and out the driver door behind me before I could even shut it.

I walked over and helped Scoot out of the truck. ‘Her name is… Scoots-er… Scooter… Skeeter… shit ah dunno,’ I thought to myself. I didn’t have the guts to ask her. I was supposed to act like a family member yet I didn’t even remember her name… long-lost relative.

The three of us walked in and I was again met by Mary, the friendly… kinda clutzy, cashier. Lassie hopped up and put her front paws on the counter and began to order. “Hey hot stuff-“ she began, making the cashier blush timidly. “Can I get… a cappuccino with whip cream and chocolate syrup… and a...” she trailed off, rubbing her chin in thought. “I’ll have two chocolate chip muffins with that,” she ordered.

I stepped up. “Can I have-“ but Lassie cut me off.

“A powder jelly doughnut, and a cup of honey tea with a little umbrella and lemon swedge,” she joked in a flamboyant voice. I blinked and Mary just looked to me, looking for a response.

“Actually… yeah, I’ll have that,” I stated and Lassie snickered. “What?” I asked and she just gave me an innocent look.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” she replied cheekily. I looked to Skeeter… or whatever her name was.

“Whatta’ll yah have?” I asked her and she just rubbed one of her front hooves on the ground in a timid way.

“Oh… it’s okay… I already ate this morning,” she mumbled.

“Bah, don’t give me that. I ate a huge breakfast this morning. Fast food is fast food kiddo, and free fast food is even better. So order up, it’s the least I can do as a big brother.” I gave her a wink.

“Oh… okay. Can I have a carton of milk and some chocolate cookies?” She asked. I nodded.

Mary typed it in, and as per usual, kinda messed up the order, putting extra things like tomatoes with the cookies and… a bunch of other things. “Uhm… tomatoes with cookies?” I asked and she got a little flustered.

“I’m really sorry… I just…” she bit her lip as she started to break down in a panic. I reached my hand over and put it atop her hoof.

“Hey… relax, I ain’t in no hurry,” I offered her some comfort. She took a few deep breaths and typed it in, though still screwed up the order. I just laughed heartily and paid the bill anyway, despite being charged for two hot chocolates and a cinnamon roll.

We grabbed our stuff and began walking out when Mary called over to me. “Wait… hold on, I’m sorry, I charged you for some hot chocolates and a cinnamon roll,” she said. “I’ll get those right away… or I’ll give you your money back,” she began but I just waved it off.

“Nah it’s okay,” I assured her and the three of us walked out. I helped Lassie and Scoot… whatever her name was, into the truck which I had left running.

I hopped into the driver seat and set my hot tea drink in the cup holder, beside Scoot’s chocolate milk. Lassie had set her cappuccino in the arm rest cup holder in the back. ‘Oh yeah… the back has those armrests with the cup holders built into it!’ I thought to myself. I rarely was in the back of my truck and there were cool things about her I didn’t even know about.

I slipped the truck into drive and proceeded over to the school with a rather calm pace, no need to rush it. I checked my watch. We were still early, seeing as how nopony else was around. I shut Cadence off and stuffed the keys atop the sun visor, like I always did.

“Thank you,” Scoot thanked me… I was just gonna call her my sister until I figured out what her name was.

“Yeah, no problem sis,” I said as I took my cup of tea, moving the umbrella to the side and taking a sip. “Mmm… now that’s good stuff,” I said, taking a bite out of my jelly doughnut.

“Says the fruit-cake,” Lassie said discriminately, though in a PG fashion so that my temporary sister wouldn’t learn any bad language.

“I don’t understand how eating a jelly doughnut with a cup of tea makes me a fruit-cake,” I stated back and she just rolled her eyes.

“Because only fruits would drink a cup of honey tea with a tiny umbrella and a lemon wedge… and powder doughnuts are totally for mares. You probably like to take long walks on the beach, then watch the sunset with a stallion,” she said and I just rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, fine, I’m a fruit-cake that likes long walks on the beaches and sunsets with stallions,” I said then looked to my temporary sister for the day, whom had opened the entire top part of her milk carton and was dipping her cookies in it. “Hey… that’s a cool idea, where’d you learn it?” I asked, interested by the technique.

“Oh… I uhm… just kinda do that sometimes… sorry, I know it’s kind of dorky,” she replied in a shy ton and I just scoffed.

“Nah, that’s cool. Who in the world ever told you that’s dorky?” I asked.

“Diamond Tiara,” she replied back and I just rolled my eyes as I took a sip of my tea.
“Well next time she tells you that, tell her that she’s dorky for wearing that dumb crown,” I told her and she snickered.

“It is kind of silly,” she giggled and we both started to snicker, though Lassie was a bit lost, since she had never met Diamond Tiara before.

“You know, back on my world, I’d have a carton of chocolate milk before milking the cows every morning. But I’d always open up the entire top side of the carton like you did so I could drink it,” I informed her.

She and Lassie both looked at me and asked the same thing in unison. “Why?”

I just shrugged. “Well… I guess I didn’t like the feeling from the top of the carton touching my nose while I drank,” I informed her. We sat and conversed, mostly useless gibber-jabber, until finally Ms. Cheerilee arrived and opened the door.

Scootaloo looked to the door to try and see how to get it open. I tapped her on the shoulder. “Hold on kid… let’s not be the first ones in the class,” I suggested. She looked to me with a curious look and I just gave her an unknowing look. “I dunno… just wait for somepony else to arrive first,” I said. In truth, I didn’t exactly want to get in the school first… something about being the first in the class always made me feel weird and like a goody-two-shoes.

After several minutes past, fillies and colts started arriving with their relatives. Some had obvious distinctions in their relations, some… didn’t even look close. We waited just a little longer and I nodded. “Okay… let’s go,” I said, leaning over and opening my sister’s door from the inside.

Lassie and my sister hopped out, the former closing the door behind them. I shut my door and wiped my hands off on my pants, white powder smearing on my khaki dress pants. ‘Dammit,’ I thought to myself silently.

As we entered, Cheerilee turned to great us, then stopped short as she saw both Lassie and myself. “Good morning Scootaloo…” she trailed off in wonder as she looked at us.

“Scootaloo! That’s her name!” I announced, though rather loudly… it was totally an accident. The class all looked to me, even Scootaloo did, with weird looks. “That’s… her name... coolest filly around… Scootaloo!” I said, sounding like a dork while still trying to cover up the fact that 1: I had forgot her name and 2: I had forgotten her name and was supposed to be pretending to be her relative.

Cheerilee blinked. “Uhm… yes, well… good morning to you all,” she greeted. Lassie mingled over and placed one of her muffins on the desk.

Cheerilee looked in surprise. “Well… now that’s something you don’t see every day. Thank you,” Cheerilee thanked my canine companion whom, for some reason wasn’t talking. Cheerilee rubbed Lassie’s head, who in turn nestled her head into the teacher's side briefly before quickly returning to my side.

The three of us quickly took our seats and let the day begin. In a matter of minutes however, I found out this wasn’t going to be a regular school day, not at all. Instead it was just a day packed of fillies and colts with a relative and that relative telling the class what they did for a living and their family history and all that.

I leaned over to Scootaloo. “Huh… not bad, I thought I’d be stuck doing homework,” I said with a smile. She nodded and leaned into me with a hug.

“Thanks for coming. I don’t know what I would’ve done,” she thanked me and I just smiled timidly. There was this warm feeling… it made me feel all mushy inside. The day progressed and relative after relative spoke their story. Some were kind of lame, I had to admit, and were just stories about living in a house while once a day doing a paper route, or something like that. 'I live in a house by myself. I'm a papermare... blah, blah blah' my conscious joked.

Some however, did have some kinds of interesting stories. Like Big Mac, whom Apple Bloom had brought in. Stories about a wild adventure or two. Sweetie Belle had brought her dad who… I don’t know if he was trying too hard to be a redneck or… he had a pair of coveralls on that were torn in a few places, a straw cowpony hat and was chewing on a piece of wheat.

Cheerilee spoke up. “Scootaloo?” she asked and Scootaloo stood up. Lassie jabbed me in the ribs.

“Ahh… what?” I hissed quietly.

“That’s your queue dumbass,” she whispered back. I looked and saw Scootaloo looking to me.

“Ah… righto.” I stood up and followed her to the front of the class. I hadn’t really paid attention all that much and had never done something like this before. The class stood in silence for a moment before Cheerilee broke it.

“Uhm… Scootaloo… care to… introduce your… relative?” she said in a very unsure tone.

Diamond Tiara picked up with a snide tone. I only remembered her name because she was that snide little shithead who thought she was on top of the world. “He’s not related to her at all, he’s a monkey and she only brought him because Rainbow Dash ditched out on her because she’s sooooo uncool,” Diamond Tiara laughed, then her and the other silver mare who was her friend connected hooves… would it be called a high five here... but they didn’t have fingers so it’d be more like a… hoof… whatever.

Scootaloo got agitated and yelped back. “She did not ditch out on me!” she yelled and Diamond Tiara giggled, having gotten under her skin.

“So why isn’t she here then?” she continued to poke. Before Scootaloo could say another word however, I spoke up.

“Because she chose me instead,” I lied and Diamond Tiara laughed.

“Ha! So much for having Rainbow Dash do a Sonic Rainboom! I knew you were lying!” she cackled, only agitating Scootaloo further.

“Rainbow Dash was gonna be here… but she’s busy right now and couldn’t make it,” Scootaloo tried but Tiara just laughed and came up with yet another insult.

“Because you're not important enough for her.” I just bit my lip. I hated snot-nosed little brats.

“That’s not true!” I said angrily, temper simmering. Now she had me going. I calmed myself before I said something I would regret. “Rainbow Dash is busy right now so Scootaloo brought me instead, and Lassie, my dog,” I informed the class but again Tiara spoke up.

“You’re not even related to her,” she laughed and I thought up a lie, I thought it up quick.

“I’m her Father…’s, brother’s, nephew’s, cousin’s, sister’s, aunt’s, daughter in law’s former roommate… twice removed,” I lied, though it sounded totally believable… kind of.

The room was quiet for a moment and Cheerilee again spoke up. “Well than… that’s an interesting fact. So… what do you do for a living?” she asked. As I started, I began to pick up momentum with this whole ‘Relative day’ thing.

“Well… at the odd time I work with Big Mac over there, lugging around the heavy stuff, ain’t that right Mac?” I asked and some ponies looked to Mac who simply nodded with his regular ‘Eeyup’.

I looked around. “Sometimes I get around… going to the big cities, doing the odd job for ponies…” I trailed off and tried to think of something a mobster might say about whacking ponies. “Mostly yard trimmings,” I said.

Tiara just smiled smugly, I guess figuring that I wasn’t as spectacular as one might think. I just wish I could tell them the honest truth. I whacked an entire mob family, helped defeat Freeze and save a city, fought off an entire pack of timerwolves…

“Tack driving,” I said and waited a moment. “Anyone ever see a tack driver?” I asked. Most of the ponies blinked, unsure what I was talking about. I pulled away my duster coat flap and unholstered Belladonna.

“Look out that window… see the apple tree?” I asked and a few of the ponies looked out the window, Cheerilee included. “How far do yah think that there tree is?” I asked. Cheerilee looked then pondered it.

“Thirty to forty yards, why?” She asked curiously. I slide open a window, knelt down and rested my arm on the windowsill, handgun out the window and steady in my grip.

“Watch this,” I commented then turned to the class. “Cover your ears… this thing is loud,” I told them. A few of them listened to my warning while others just watched in curiosity, having never seen a gun before. I steadied the gun to an almost perfectly still state, my finger very slowly depressing the trigger.

I reached the sweet spot on the trigger, any more pressure and she’d go off like a powder keg. I let out my breath, then took a slight inhale. Time seemed to slow a little as I looked down the sights with my good eye.

My finger slowly squeezed all the way back, and the handgun roared. The sonic boom from the pistol, along with the muzzle blast, was so intense that it created a circular flash ring just a few feet in front of the pistol.

The heavy bullet sliced the top of a steam from an apple and it fell to the plush grassy ground, unscathed by the bullet. “Lassie, fetch,” I ordered and Lassie zoomed out the door, retrieved the apple and came racing back, sitting on her rump and presenting me the apple that was still held in her mouth.

I took the apple and wiped off the drool on my shirt, then huffed on the peel. My breath created a fog that quickly dissipated on the beautiful apple. It was truly a prize apple to say the least. I turned to Cheerilee.

“Apple?” I asked and she just smiled and laughed faintly while taking the apple.

“Well… that is an interesting… hobby, shall I call it… though it is rather loud and obnoxious,” she said. Tiara spoke up, again to try and get under my skin.

“There’s nothing really special about that. Any silly old unicorn can use magic to get an apple from a tree,” she snarked.

“Do I look like a unicorn to you? Maybe you should get your eyes checked,” I teased. However, much to my disdain, the class didn’t seem overly impressed. I suppose they didn’t understand how difficult a shot like that was… but then again I suppose they didn’t have guns either. Back on my world sure they would've been impressed… but also freaked out once they saw a gun on school property. Before Tiara could say something else, Cheerilee broke up the taunting before it escalated further.

“Well… I see that Scootaloo has a very interesting-“ but before she could continue, I thought of something.

“Hold on… there’s one more thing. Who knows the story about the illusive pirate… Peg Leg?” I asked. There was a short silence before one of the older relatives spoke up.

“You mean the old foal’s tale about a pirate who evaded the elite royal guard for years and plundered millions of bits worth of gold and treasure?” he asked and I nodded.

“That exact tale… now what if I said… it was true?” I asked the class.

A few of the older ponies looked at each other than to me, even Cheerilee gave me a wondering look. “Who here… knows what Peg Leg did to his own personal treasure?” I asked.

“Kept it?” one of the older ponies said.

“Hid it somewhere?” said another. I just groaned. Dammit, even I didn’t know who he was until I got roped into that adventure with Daring Do. So I suppose I couldn’t blame them for not knowing that he-

“He inscribed his initials into the gold, mostly the gold billon bricks,” Cheerilee stated for all the class to hear. I looked to her with an almost shocked expression. She matched my expression. “What? I’m a school teacher’s for colts and fillies. I read them stories and sometimes research the actual events that they're based after,” she replied.

Well, at least now everypony knew what I was gonna show them was the real deal. “Just hold that thought,” I said then scurried out to my truck. I began rummaging through the back. “I left it in here somewhe-“ I trailed off as I saw the glimmering golden gleam of the treasure piece.

I grabbed it then rushed back inside. “Check out… this puppy,” I said and placed the brick on the table. Everypony stood up instantly then trotted up to see it, and most all of them were fairly impressed.

Cheerilee looked to me with shock. “That belongs in a museum,” she commented but I just shrugged.

“Actually, I brought two to the museum so me and Dar…" I trailed off, remembering that for some reason everypony thought Daring Do was a fictional character. "Daryl could get paid. Daryl was the stallion with me when we went searching for the treasure,” I said and another relative pony spoke up.

“You’re also a treasure hunter?” he asked in particular interest. I just shrugged.

“Sometimes,” I sort of lied. Diamond Tiara’s father, Filthy Rich, looked with interest at the gold brick.

“I do say… I wish to buy this piece from you dear sir… twenty thousand, in cash,” he offered but I just shook my hand.

“Sorry buddy, not for sale. Besides, the museum gave me fifty large, per brick,” I replied.

“In that case… sixty,” he offered but I shook my head. “Seventy,” he offered again but I just smiled and shook my head.

“It’s really not for-“

“Eighty-five thousand,” he bargained and some ponies looked with wide, shocked eyes to me. That was a wad of cash. Cash which I could use.

“Sorry but I-“

“Ninety,” he offered.

“Buddy… I thought you were an intelligent business stallion. There’s nothing-“

“You drive a hard bargain… a hundred and fifty thousand, final offer,” he stated and a lot of the ponies gasped.

Lassie grabbed the cuff on my duster coat sleeve and tugged me down. “You could take me on a vacation to Marexico with that kinda money, even rent a top floor condo,” she told me.

I let out a deep, depressed exhale. “You see sir… Mr. Rich… it’s not about the money, not at all. This piece of gold… it holds sentimental value. I’ll always remember the adventure I had, the struggles and hardships I had to go through… the near-death experience… when I hold this, all those vivid memories come back. So as generous as that offer is, I’m sorry but I must decline,” I told him. A lot of gasps were emitted from the crowd.

Tiara looked at me with a slacked jaw. I guess she thought money could buy anything. Scootaloo looked to her with a smug smile. “He’s my dad’s brother’s… something ruther. And he’s totally awesome,” she said then stuck her tongue out at Tiara.

Rich just stood there in awe and disbelief. “Tell yah what pal,” I said and gave him a cheery pat to the shoulder. “You pay me a fare wage, say fifteen bits an hour, I’ll take you to the river where all the debris fell when the place blew up... and we'll pan for gold,” I offered and his face brightened up.

A few moments passed and everypony settled back to their seats. Cheerilee nodded while looking to Scootaloo. “I do say… that is quite impressive. Is there anything else you can tell us about him, Scootaloo?” Cheerilee asked, but Scootaloo’s answer was not one I was expecting, not at all.

“He’s a fruit-cake and likes to watch sunsets with stallions,” she stated innocently, not understanding the context of what she had just said. The younger fillies and colts just blinked in uncertainty, while Cheerilee and all the older ponies went wide eyed.

I just groaned quietly and covered my face in embarrassment. Cheerilee blinked then coughed to catch everypony’s attention. “Yes well… uhm… that’s very interesting. Give a big round of applause for Scootaloo and her…” she trailed off and tried to remember what exactly I had said, and then just came up with a single word to describe it. “Relative.”

I went to grab the gold brick but Lassie stood up. “Nah, it’s cool yah fruit-cake. I got this one, wouldn’t want yah straining yourself,” Lassie joked. Nearly everypony in the classed gasped as they heard a dog talk.

“Th-tha-that d-d-dog just talked!” Gasped one of the older ponies. Lassie turned around with a cock-eyed look.

“So? That’s one of the least impressive things about me...” and with that, Lassie started a half-hour long rant about all her great adventures… most of them highly fabricated. However, despite that, she kept the audience’s full attention.

Cheerilee interrupted Lassie before she could start yet another one of her most likely fabricated stories. “Yes, well I apologize but class is just about over-“ but she was cut off by all the young colts and fillies, who all gave out a pouty ‘AWWWW’.

Cheerilee sighed. “Yes... well children, just remember that tomorrow we’ll be finishing up with our history of the pony settlers in the Midwest,” she explained and my eyes went wide for a moment. Jeeze… I didn’t learn much about history until I was in grade… probably ten or eleven… either that or I just didn’t listen enough in public school.

“Can Lassie come in and tell us more stories tomorrow?” Asked one of the fillies, who had milk colored fur and frazzled red hair. The whole class waited in undivided attention for their teacher's answer.

Cheerilee only blinked then turned to me. “Uhm… well, we must really be finishing that subject and I’m sure Lassie has-“ but my canine companion cut her short.

“Are you kidding me?! Don’t try and say I have stuff to do, cause I don’t. I’d LOVE to tell you guys all about my wickedly awesome adventures. Man, they’re so awesome I-“ but I cut Lassie short by stuffing part of my duster coat in her mouth. Her muffled vocals still echoed in the classroom as I spoke.

“What she meant to say was, she’d love to spend some time, but only if it doesn’t impede your studies…right Lassie?” I asked sternly and she spat out my duster flap and began mumbling.

“Pfft… yeah whatever… put words in my mouth why don’t yah…” trailing off, she said something under her breath that I didn’t quite catch, but it sounded like ‘Queer’.

I just rolled my eyes and nodded. Cheerilee began to speak. “Okay, with that settled, have a nice night everypony and I’ll see you all in the morning,” she said in a spiffy voice. Jeeze, she sounded like every teacher did that first week of school when they pretend like they’re the most laid back teachers ever… then after that first week they’re all crusty.

As the children and their elder relatives left, one of the stallions stopped and handed me a piece of paper. I looked to him and he motioned as if he was on a phone, and then mouthed the words ‘Call me’.

I shuddered then looked to Lassie as ponies continued to leave. “See what you’ve done?!” I hissed at her then crumpled up the paper and tossed it at her. I turned to Scootaloo. “Hey uhm… so are you… I mean Rainbow Dash isn’t home so… wanna just hang out with me?” I asked.

She just smiled. “Oh, thank you but no thank you. It’s okay, I’ve been staying with Apple Bloom while I wait for Dash to get back,” she said. She gave me a wave as she scurried off towards Mac and Apple Bloom. I returned the wave and just sighed as I watched all the kids depart.

As the school day ended and nopony was left, I got thinking to myself about all the crabby teachers I had over the years. Sure not every single one was a miserable twat, but a lot of them were.

My conscious spoke up. ‘I don’t understand why teachers think their job is so hard… kids are kinda alright,’ it spoke and I just nodded, leaning up against the side of the door frame. “Yeah… I don’t know why teachers have to be so crabby when kids are so-“ but I was cut off by a teasing voice that came from behind me.

“I am not crabby,” Cheerilee said in a semi-playful one.

“Huh?” I muttered as I turned around, then merely chuckled timidly. “Oh… no, not you. I wasn’t talking about you,” I apologized and she rose an eyebrow.

“Well who were you talking to?” she asked and I just blinked.

“To myself,” I said and she just laughed and shook her head with a faint blush.

“The children can be a hassle sometimes, that’s for sure,” she mentioned then leaned against the other side of the door frame.

“I had a kid once… kinda. I was his… legal guardian by law or… something like that. Called him my son. Easy going kid,” I said and Cheerilee smiled.

“You’d make a good father,” she said honestly.

I just shrugged. “Well… I dunno about that. It may come off that way but right now… I’d have to settle down first,” I said honestly. Truth be told, I’d only thought about kids once or twice before, and it was more or less a joke about adopting a child and giving it a difficult name that he’d be unable to spell when he was young so he'd cry when the teacher asked 'How do you spell your name' and my kid would begin to cry and be like 'I DON'T KNOW!'

Cheerilee let out a content sigh as we stood and watched the sun hover over the horizon. “Say…” Cheerilee began. “You wouldn’t mind giving me a walk home… would you?” she asked hopefully. I turned my head to her and nodded.

“Sure… I wouldn’t mind-“ but Lassie cut me off before I could continue.

“If you’re walking her home, I’m taking the truck home. I’m hungry and I'm not waiting around,” she said abruptly.

“Lassie… that’s a bad idea,” I said and Lassie just scoffed.

“Oh please. It’s easy to drive… come on man, show me a bit a trust would yah?” she pleaded and I just sighed.

“Fine! But I swear to goddess if there’s even a single scratch I’ll-“ but she cut me off in a sexual tone.

“You’ll spank me?!”

“What… no!”

“Tie me up with hoof-cuffs?!”

“What?! N-no! Lassie just… just go on!” I scowled and she just gave me a mischievous smile then grabbed the gold brick and scooted off. Cheerilee turned to me with her brow raised.

“She’s a spoiled little thing, isn’t she?” she asked and I just huffed.

“Yeah… yeah she is… but that’s Lassie for you,” I commented. I had this terrible feeling that when I got home, my lights would be busted… or there’d be a dent in the fender… or something awful.

Cheerilee grabbed a few things, and trotted over. She closed the door to the school but never locked it. “Don’t lock it up for the night?” I asked and she looked to me with an almost stunned look.

“Lock it up? Why?” she asked curiously.

“Well… I dunno… burglars?” I suggested but she just laughed with a more feminine laugh that sounded like it should belong more so to Rarity.

“In Ponyville? No way. Why crime is so low here that… well, you could probably leave that gold brick out in the streets and it’d be there in the morning, either that or it would be in the lost and found,” she stated and I rose an eyebrow.

“What about Filthy Rich? Wouldn’t he scoop it up?” I asked but she shook her head.

“I’d personally doubt that. He may be a business stallion, but he’s no thief. And besides, that’s pretty rare and unique so I doubt he’d get away with it. I think he just wanted it to show off to his other rich friends,” she commented as we mingled through the streets of Ponyville.

I thought back to what she said about me being a father. “You really think I’d be a good dad?” I asked and she looked to me then nodded.

“Well of course. Why not? You seem to be good with children, and you even keep you temper in check with Diamond Tiara… she can be a bit of a nuisance at times,” Cheerilee said and we both giggled.

“Well… thanks. And I think you’d make a pretty cool mom,” I said and she stopped then looked to me.

“You… you really think so?” she asked and I shrugged then nodded.

“Well sure. I mean you teach a class of fillies and colts every single day, except weekends and such… I think the kids respect you and for that reason… yeah, you’d make a good mom,” I told her truthfully.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” She smiled but I just chuckled.

“Just uhh… think about it first okay, cause my thoughts and ideas aren’t always the greatest and sometimes backfire right in my face,” I commented. She just laughed and leaned into me.

“Well thanks anyway, it means a lot to me.” We continued on until finally we reached her place. She let out a happy, content, exhale then turned to me. “Thank you Mr. Burd-“ but I cut her off.

“Please… you’re embarrassing me. I’m no mister,” I said with a smile. “Just call me Burdy, or Evan. Either one is fine,” I told her with a smile.

“Well… thank you Evan. It’s very kind of you to walk me home like this,” she said and I returned her smile.

“No problem,” I said with a thumbs up. “You’re a pretty cool… for a teacher that’s hard to come by, I don’t mind walking yah home,” I said. I extended my hand for her to shake which she promptly did. “If Lassie’s any trouble tomorrow… you can always just send her home,” I laughed and Cheerilee giggled.

“Okay… Farewell for now Evan.” And she turned to make for the door but then stopped and spun around. “Oh, and that school picnic is near the end of June, probably on the last or second last day of school,” she informed me and I gave her a thumbs up.

“Oky-doky!” I said with a smile. She nodded then turned and opened her house door. I spun on the heels of my feet then started home. I felt… dammit, I felt all mushy and cuddly again… and for once, it felt pretty good…

Author's Notes:

Okay, sorry for being a bit late with releasing this. Last weekend I was helping my kid's (Guardian-ized child by law or whater) hleping his mom move a bunch of her dead mom's stuff. The U-haul van she called for didn't show up and she asked me if I could use Cadence to move some of the stuff. Funnier yet she thought it'd take eight or nine trips, took me four and she was all like "Oh my god... I'm so happy we got all that stuff and I never thought we'd be able to get it in four trips" and the whole time I was thinking "Yeah... cause you drive a stupid Hyundai"
Anyway, moral of the story: I need to get a tailgate sticker that says 'Yes this is my truck. No I won't help you move'
Have a good one, eh (Cause I'm Canadian right)