Later…

I gripped my hair and tugged on it stressfully as I slammed the brakes on Cadence and brought her to a complete stop. It was still somewhat dark out, and the sun wouldn’t rise for at least another hour.

I wrapped my arms around my head. “FFFFF… GAH FUCK!” I hissed. “Okay… okay… what the fuck… one more time…” I said, my heart thumping. I couldn’t believe this… this was way, way, WAY, out of my league.

Derreck sat in the passenger seat while Discord and Lassie sat in the back. Discord spoke up. “A very long time ago… there was this mare named Coldmare, or so the story goes… no pun intended,” he stated. “She was so hateful towards pony kind that eventually her hate brought about the windigos… and put her into a deep freeze,” he stated.

I gripped the steering wheel harder. “So… how the hell is she alive?!” I asked angrily. Discord just scratched the back of his head.

“Uhh, truthfully… I can’t really honesty answer that. I have no idea, but regardless, as the old folklore says… her skin… her fur, her mane… everything, somehow is preserved by the cold and she’s just like an average pony. Her blood however, was turned cold, her heart even colder… she’s harnessed the power to freeze things, though that cannon of her's is merely there to amplify her power. It’d take her weeks… probably months to freeze a city by herself,” Discord informed me.

“So… Celestia’s got a plan right? I mean… dispatch the royal guard or something?!” I asked fearfully, already partially knowing the answer. Discord bit his lower lip.

“At the moment… the royal sisters will probably quarantine the city until they devise a plan to defeat her… but without the mane six…” he trailed off and I swore angrily, slamming my fists into my thighs. “I’m sorry! You asked,” Discord flinched.

I muttered to myself. “What the fuck are we gonna do… goddess dammit, I’m such a fuckup!” I hissed and Discord rose an eyebrow.

“How… is this your fault?” he asked in absolute curiosity and I flailed my arms.

“Because! Because…” I trailed off. “Because the guilt always comes down on me! It always does!” I yelled, painful memories of back home resurfacing. All those times… no matter what it was, whether it be my brother shooting a window out of the truck, the VCR breaking… anything, it always came down on me somehow… and now this. I pinned my head to the steering wheel, blaring the horn wide open. “Mom… I’m so sorry… I fucked up!” I whispered, a tear coming to my eye.

Discord was again shocked. “Your… your mom?” he asked but Lassie stopped him, waving her paw and signalling him not to continue.

“Twilight… my mother, you know?” I replied and he leaned back in shock from what he just heard.

“You’re… yo-you’re k-kidding… r-right?” he stammered but I shook my head.

“She’s always been there for me… always cared for me, always given me shelter… took me in when I was so… such an asshole… and loved me just the same, no matter what,” I whispered and Discord gave a concerning look.

“Yes but uhm… she’s… your mother?” he asked and I nodded. “Uhm… she’s your age… how exactly does that work?” he asked and I rolled my head around.

“Becau… I… well she’s… she’s my mom, my care-taker… you know?” I said and he shook his head, the concerning look still on his face.

“I’m afraid I… don’t really follow you there,” he replied. Before I could answer, Derreck spoke up.

“Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we need a plan to beat her. Besides, there’s four of us, and only one of her,” he stated but I brought up a point.

“There was the mane six… numbers didn’t seem to do much,” I intervened. Derreck rolled his eyes but Discord spoke up before he could.

“She’s not alone. With her magic, she can bring about the element of water, and all it's levels, solid, liquid or vapour... and… she somehow gives life to snowmares…” he stated and I just groaned.

‘Snowmares… really?’ I thought silently. Derreck just shrugged vicariously.

“Doesn’t matter… we got something not even the most elite royal guards have,” he stated. We looked over to him and he hefted up Violet, my Boito 590 clone, and racked the slide. “You said yourself… her body is just like a regular pony… so she’ll die like a regular pony too,” he said and Discord gulped.

“My goddess… you’re a cold bastard,” he commented and Derreck nodded.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” he said then looked to me. “To Rarity’s,” he ordered.

“But… she isn’t home,” I replied and he gave me a frown. “Okay, okay!” I said in my defense, putting the truck into drive and rushing down the empty streets. We arrived to the dark residence of Rarity’s boutique and all piled out of the vehicle.

Derreck walked up and tried the door, only to find it locked. “Sweetie Belle! Hey, you home?! Open up, it’s Rarity’s friend Derr… Burdy,” he yelled up, however, he got no response.

I leaned over to him. “You know… she doesn’t really live here. She lives with her parents and just comes to Rarity’s from time to time,” I stated. Derreck jerked on the door a bit more. “Besides, what do we need from Rarity’s anyways?” I asked.

Derreck stepped back and pressed Violet’s muzzle to the door handle. “DERRECK WAI-“ I yelled but was cut off by the thunderous KA-BOOM!

My ears rang as the door handle blew to pieces and the door gently swung open. Discord spoke up. “My-my… what an interesting way to unlock a door. I’ll have to remember that for later,” he muttered.

We all entered the residence, though I did so rather reluctantly. What on earth was so special in here that we needed to blow open Rarity’s front door… oh goddess she was gonna have a fit when she saw this.

Derreck pondered around. I spoke up, “Okay… so what are we looking for again?” Derreck continued to mosey around. “Derreck… what are we looking for?” I asked.

“A light,” he stated and I gasped.

“A light… a light? A FUCKING LIGHT?! Goddess dammit! We blew open Rarity’s front door so you could find a fucking light?! I have a light in my truck!” I roared and he waved his hand at me, motioning me to settle down.

“One thing at a time Burdy… I meant, I’m looking for a light switch so we can…” he trailed off and there was a ‘CLICK’ and suddenly the entire boutique lit up brilliantly. “Ah… there we are,” he said triumphantly.

I looked around, noticing the splinters off wood spewed across the ground from Derreck’s entry technique. “Okay… so what do we need again that was so important you had to blow open Rarity’s front door?” I asked, a little agitated.

“Clothes,” he informed me casually, spreading open a closet door and mingling through the apparel. I just blinked in disbelief.

“Clothes?” I asked, a little hushed due to my shock. He nodded and continued to browse. “We have clothes,” I stated and he rolled his eyes.

“No… not just any clothes… clothes-clothes,” he told me and I blinked. I just rubbed my nose between my eyes while I groaned.

“Oh muh goddess… Rarity is gunna blow a head gasket…” I groaned. Derreck tapped my shoulder. I looked up and saw he had a white trench coat, made of thick leather. “It looks… uhm…” I trailed off and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really my color eh?” he asked and I nodded. He hung it across a line and pulled out a can of spray paint.

“DERRECK WAI-“ I tried but it was too late. He had already begun spraying, what I could only perceive to be, an expensive white leather jacket into a jet black. “Oh goddess...” I groaned.

Derreck spoke up to the others. “Hey guys… grab something you like, and remember… it could be the last thing you ever wear,” he commented. Discord and Lassie immediately zipped off.

“Derreck… we didn’t really need to steal this stuff,” I told him and he just shrugged.

“If we die… we might as well die in style,” he commented and I just groaned. I heard Lassie pipe up from another room.

“AWWWW THIS IS SO COOL! WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!” She asked, coming out tromping around in an expensive diamond dress, many sizes too big for her. It looked like a dazzling wedding dress that was to be worn only by Equestria's most elite. Lassie's claws shredded the dress fabric as she tromped along, but eventually she got tangled up in the mess and squirmed around, shredding the dress apart.

I just face-palmed… Rarity was going to be sooo pissed. Lassie squirmed around and rushed off again. “LASSIE! DON’T… wreck too much stuff…” I whined. Derreck tossed me a black leather trench coat that looked a little small to be a trench coat for me, probably being intended for ponies much rather than humans.

I looked at the coat and noticed a black t-shirt in the clump as well… a black t-shirt with a white holy cross in the middle. Before I could say anything, Derreck also tossed me a pair of black leather pants. “They were from the bigger and taller section… so they’ll probably fit.

I just sighed and tried them on. They weren’t too tight, but didn’t offer a lot of clearances and really chaffed at my crotch. I tried on the shirt and coat also. Like I had thought, the coat only went down past my waist, ending just before my mid-thigh.

Lassie came back dressed in a white formal dress that I could tell she tore apart to make it fit her better. She also had a pair of black fingerless gloves… “Wait… Lassie, where did you find fingerless gloves? Ponies don’t have fingers,” I mentioned and she shrugged.

“They didn’t have the holes in the first place. I had to cut them so I could fit my paws in them,” she said, wiggling her paw digits through the holes. There was also a space on the backside of the gloves that was open, revealing the back side of her paw with a strap that laced along the backside of her wrists, or ankles. At this point I wasn’t sure whether to start calling her forepaws paws… or dog hands…

She flumped down to all fours and displayed herself in a stunning way. “SASSY LASSIE!” She laughed and I just rolled my eyes. Discord came out, dressed in a formal black suit with a white undershirt.

Derreck spoke up. “This is going to be a battle, not a wedding,” he commented and Discord nodded.

“You’re right about one thing. There'll be no wedding… but rather, a funeral,” he commented. Derreck slipped on apparel that was identical to mine.

I looked to Derreck. “Okay… so we broke into Rarity’s house… wrecked her belongings so we could vandalize her clothes… now what?”

Desert garage…

“YOU WHAT?!” Flam gasped, and Flim chimed in.

“That’s insanity!” he added.

Derreck just shook his head. “Got a better plan?” he asked the two and they both nodded and answered in unison.

“Let the royal sisters deal with it. They’ll come up with a plan.”

Derreck just shook his head. “It might come too late. We have to act now!” he ordered them and they just shook their heads.

Flam spoke first. “No way… besides, it’s not even finished!” he commented and Derreck gave them a glare then sent shivers down their spines.

“It starts?” he asked and they nodded. “It drives?” he asked and they nodded again. “Then it runs,” he commented and they pointed to Cadence.

“If all you need is a running vehicle, why not use her,” he stated and Derreck looked back to Cadence, then to the armored vehicle they were building.

“Because that one is a smaller target, it’s quieter, and it’s got some working gadgets,” he replied. They simply bit their lips.

“This… this is madness!” Flam shouted and Derreck looked at him.

“Madness?… this-is-Sparta!” he shouted back and both the brothers looked at him with puzzled looks. Derreck shook his head. “Nothing, don’t worry about it,” he commented. “We’re taking the truck,” he said and Flim tensed up with a whiny retort.

“That’s… that’s not fair! Why don’t we get a say in this?!” he asked rhetorically, already knowing the answer.

“Because I said so,” Derreck stated. Flam spoke up.

“Even with the gadgets… how are you going to stop her?” he asked and Derreck unslung Violet. Flam just blinked. “Oh… right... those,” he said, blushing deeply as he scratched the back of his head.

Flim piped up. “Even with those… weapons of mass destruction… you might not be able to defeat her. Have you seen the news?!” he gasped and we all nodded. He just bit his lip but Flam stomped his hoof excitedly.

“I KNOW!...” He trailed off then chuckled nervously. “Well… I might know something that’ll even the playing field… but I only have one,” he informed then rushed off.

He brought back some kinda… earpiece gizmo. “We were constructing it for you. It isn’t quite finished and still has some bugs in it,” he commented. He handed it over to me. There was a little earpiece hooked up to some little slate of metal that came forwards across the side of my face and angled in slightly as if it were to cover my eye, but stopped just at the corner of my eye.

“What is it?” I asked.

Flam spoke first, ruining Flim’s thunder. “It’s the Eagle Eye, constructed just for you,” he said and Flim pushed him out of the way.

“I was supposed to say that! It was my idea!” he whined like a little colt.

“What does it do?” I asked, tapping the piece of metal.

Flam pushed Flim out of the way and spoke. “Many things,” he stated, then ran a piece of wire from the... Eagle Eye, down my right arm and to my watch. Flim slapped him across the face, leaving a red mark.

“It’s my invention! I get to explain it!” he commented and Flam slapped him back, leaving and equally red mark on the other’s face.

“As I was saying,” Flam said, but Flim slapped his other cheek, reddening it as well.

“As ‘I’ was saying, there is a button on the piece that attaches to your ear, press it now,” he ordered and I did so. A little holographic screen flashed up in front of my right eye.

“Woah!” I gasped and he nodded.

“Now, if you notice, there is also a menu of options,” he commented and I nodded. “To use them, simply use the dial near the nine o’clock location on your watch. It’ll only work while the Eagle Eye is attached to your watch though,” he stated.

I began to scroll through the menu. There were a few things, but mostly just tabs, a heads up display option and a map option that could apparently be adjusted between two variations of zoom, and somehow it displayed my vital signs. “Okay… so this is all interesting but how do I select things?” I asked.

“The button at the three o’clock,” he stated and I looked.

“Wait… doesn’t that shoot the tranquilizer shot or whatever?” I asked and he nodded.

“Only when your watch isn't wired to the Eagle Eye. When plugged it, the Eagle Eye overrides the other watches functions, so you’ll have to unplug it if you want to use the watch gadgets,” he responded.

“Drawbacks,” I muttered and he gasped.

“Drawbacks? Drawbacks?!” he gasped. “ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME?! This is the most sophisticated technology on the face of the planet and you say it has drawbacks!?” he gasped and I nodded.

“Even the best equipment to offer has drawbacks,” I stated and he just groaned but as he did, Flam slapped his other cheek, reddening it worse than his own.

“Yes, well, my brother tends to make such buggy equipment from time to time, however those drawback have lessened the size and bulk of you watch considerably,” he noted and I nodded. “As you can probably tell, it can display a screen with just your vital signs, also displays an x-ray scan of your body, so you can see any fractured limbs, damaged vital organs, foreign objects stuck in your body… etc.” he stated.

“Nice, how’d you work that in?” I asked and he just shrugged, not giving me an answer.

“Now, if you look to the map, you can see there’s two levels of zoom,” he told me and I nodded. “One is a larger format that shows towns you’ve been to, cities, etc.” he said. “The other is a shorter distance map, showing the layouts of buildings, streets, and any other smaller location you are at… however there is a drawback to the latter,” he stated. “To show the layout, you must explore the building with the Eagle Eye. It won’t have a pre-loaded layout of the building. But with that being said, it’ll come in handy if you ever get lost… say in a metro-tunnel or something,” he said positively.

“Interesting,” I commented. It kind of reminded me of a strategy game map now that he mentioned it. Everything in the mini-map was dark except the places I had been. “Anything else this thing can do?” I asked and he nodded.

“If you go to the heads up display,” he waited for me to scroll through. “Now, you’ll notice that there’s an option to scan things,” he offered and I nodded. “The Eagle Eye can detect weaknesses in structural integrity, armor weaknesses… and sometimes it can even detect weaknesses in ponies, such as heart conditions and such,” he opted.

I looked to the combat vehicle and clicked the scan option. A laser screen flashed over it, revealing the skeletal x-ray of the vehicle, and pinpointing in red the fuel tank and flashing it red several times. “It says the fuel tank’s a weakness,” I said and Flam looked over to the battle vehicle.

“Well yes… I suppose if an explosive of some sort was to detonate underneath the fuel tank… it could be devastating,” he stated.

Flim spoke up, “Oh, and it also has a targeting computer,” he added in but Flam just scoffed.

“That’s bugged.”

“Well… well, it isn’t quite perfected just yet. You see, when you’re heart rate goes up considerably, the Eagle Eye automatically detects any enemy in your vicinity and highlights them in a red diamond. Or you can activate the targeting computer manually,” He stated.

Flam spoke up. “Activate it manually and see why it’s plagued with bugs,” he commented. I turned on the targeting computer and it lit up both Flim and Flam, also adding two red pointing arrows to my left and one to my right. I looked to my right and saw it had targeted Derreck. Looking to my left, I saw it had also targeted Lassie and Discord.

“Wha…” I trailed off and Flam laughed while Flim sighed.

“I couldn’t… really figure out how to make the Eagle Eye define whether the target is a hostile… or a friendly,” he commented.

Flam laughed, chiming in his opinion. “So it paints everything as a hostile instead,” he laughed. I looked, noticing that the red arrows indicated targets outside my line of view, which was kind of neat. The only real downside was that because it only covered my right eye, when I looked to the distance, the screen became distorted and blurry. I covered my left eye with my hand while I looked distantly.

“Too bad it doesn’t cover both eyes,” I mentioned then turned off the Eagle Eye. “It’s cool though,” I said and they nodded.

Derreck shrugged. “Okay… if we’re all done and happy, let’s roll out,” he commented. Discord blinked.

“Maybe perhaps… you should teach me how to use a gun, if you’re dragging me along on this… this… crusade,” he commented.

“Later. On the way,” Derreck replied, opening the large toolbox on the back of my truck. “Here, Discord, you can have this one,” he said, offering Discord Violet. He grabbed Applebloom, my SKS, from her case and gave it to Lassie. “Lassie,” he said.

He rummaged through and grabbed a case that read 'Nightshade' and opened it up. Inside was a real Mossberg 590A1 combat, with ghost ring sights. On each side of the black synthetic stock was a shell holder, each holding two additional shells, giving me four extra all together.

In reality, even though Violet was a clone, I liked her better due to the fact she had a full twenty inch barrel, vs. Nightshade’s sixteen. Added to the fact Violet had a telescoping stock and seven shot tubular magazine, whereas Nightshade had a fixed stoack and only a five round tube, though I could hold six if I trimmed down the crimp on the top of a shell.

The only real advantage I had with the M590A1 was the ability to chamber 3” shells. Derreck kept rummaging through the toolbox, then started with the other, but only found ammunition. “Hey, what’d you call that fifty?” he asked.

“Belladonna?” I replied, figuring he was talking about my handgun.

“No-no… that .50bmg… you know, the Steyr H.S.?” He asked.

“I never bought it,” I replied and he went still.

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“I… never bought it?” I replied questioningly.

“Why!?” he gasped in shock.

“Man… it was like… a seven thousand dollar rifle… then you had to add a really, really, REALLY nice scope, not some entry level crap that'd insult the rifle… so that’d be like… at least another fifteen hundred. Then ammo is like… five bucks a piece, probably more cause you’d want match grade… overall, you’d end up spending well over ten grand… on one friggin’ rifle,” I stated and Derreck just blinked.

“So?” he replied casually.

“So… so… SO! I didn’t have ten grand to blow out my ass on a goddamned rifle!” I replied and he just groaned.

“Fine…” he trailed off in a huff and came back over to the first box he was looking through. Grabbing No-name, my SVT-40, he racked back the slide and checked the bore. “This’ll have to do,” he said, then let the slide slam shut.

Flim spoke up. “Oh, wait!” He rushed off and soon returned with an old styled camera. “If you are successful… this’ll be one for the history books,” he commented, “Now… if you’ll all stand together please,” he gestured. We all stood, together, Lassie on her hindlegs so we could sort of be shoulder to shoulder. Flim then flashed the picture.

The camera spat out a black piece of negative that'd still need t be developed. Flim smiled. “All right… we’ll just load up some extra cans of diesel in the back so you can make the trip,” he said with a smile…

Thursday, May 14th, 2014…

It was early morning, and we had been on the road for about two days now, going none stop and only stopping for food and washroom breaks. Derreck and I switched between driving, and even tried to teach Lassie how to drive. But… well, after a few ditches and curbs, we decided against it.

While I drove, Derreck taught Discord and Lassie the fundamentals about both of their guns, and despite going into a combat situation, he even taught them a bit about gun safety and how to never point a gun at another pony under regular circumstances.

Discord wasn’t exactly content on the idea of saving Equestria… whether it be out from a chip on his shoulder for the country, or perhaps the idea of killing for peace… dunno. Lassie was more neutral, either that or she showed no emotion so far.

A bead of sweat rolled down my face and I turned up the air conditioner a bit more. Funny… leather seats, air conditioning… it really didn’t feel like a combat vehicle. The distinctive shape of the armored canopy fusing into the main cab really gave the truck that Gurkha F5 look, but the front was more squared off like Cadence. The armored plating made it look more like an armored vehicle but the interior was so… non-combat looking, and decorative.

As the interior cooled down, I chuckled to myself. Seeing as how we were going to be going into a freezing cool city, I figured I’d like to be warm as long as I could on the trip there… but traversing through the open fields in the scorching sun made me change my mind fast… maybe Celestia was making it so hot in an attempt to thaw the city, I really didn’t know yet.

In the far out distance, I could see a blizzard cloud over a city, which from here looked tiny. I brought the truck to a stop, and flicked off the air conditioning. I looked to my watch. ‘0835’ it read. “Hey… psst, guys,” I tried to wake them. Derreck was passed out in the passenger seat while Discord and Lassie sprawled out on the row seats in the back.

I blared on the horn and everyone jolted awake. “We’re about… an hour away. This may be the last time we get a warm meal,” I told them. Discord clucked his tongue and looked out the window.

“Where… I don’t see a restaurant for miles,” he commented. I brought up a frying pan and eggs.

“Ever had motor eggs?” I asked and he rose and eyebrow. "Didn't think so." I left the engine running and popped the hood. Unlike the Gurkha, the truck shared a similar hood release to Cadence… or maybe they were the same, I had never operated a Gurkha F5 before.

I put on an oven mitt and walked out to the front of the vehicle and opened the hood, then removed the cover over the head of the hot engine block. I placed the frying pan over the engine and Discord just blinked in disbelief.

“You’re not… really going to do that… are you?” he asked and I nodded.

“It was easier with older cars that had flat heads… and gasoline engines, they burned hotter, but this’ll do,” I commented. I waited for the pan to heat up a bit, sometimes leveling out the pan again with my mitt hand.

“Okay, Derreck, bring me the eggs,” I ordered. He not only brought me some eggs, but some potatoes and bread as well.

“I bet we could toast these,” he said, holding the bread up. I blinked.

“It’d be greasy,” I stated and he nodded.

“Just like good ol’ Mickey D’s,” he commented. With the potatoes and the eggs in the frying pan however, there was no room for the bread and he simply slapped the bread right onto the engine block head, using my thick Bowie knife to flip the bread.

Lassie hopped up to her hindlegs, placing her forepaws on the edge of the truck as see peeked at the engine. With a long, loud sniff, she rubbed her bully with a slurp. “MMM! Smells good!” She giggled with excitment.

Discord looked down at it and blinked. “Indeed… it looks delicious,” he spoke his mind, though I wasn’t sure if he was being believably sarcastic, or if he was truly serious.

Derreck chuckled. “Breakfast of champions… well, for greasers anyways,” he said. I gave the pan a shuffle, then used my Buck knife to flip the potatoes to make sure they didn’t burn.

Derreck’s toast finished first, though it was stained with a bit of oil. In another few minutes, I finished the eggs and potatoes. Lassie grabbed a canteen full of juice, though it tasted a little like Kool-Aid. I remember buying it before we left… sugary and sweet, but probably not good for trying to suffice hydration.

Using paper plates and cups, we each took our share. Pouring us all cups of the sweet sugar juice, Derreck held up his cup. “Well… here’s to saving Equestria… or dying horribly while trying,” he joked. We all rose our cups and nodded. He looked to us. “Anyone want to add anything?” he asked.

Discord didn’t say anything, simply looking down and I spoke up. “Well… I’m glad to have you all here… helping me... helping Equestria, even if it might be in vein. I’m grateful that Flim and Flam offered us this tech gear… and I’m grateful to be alive, even if it might not be for much longer,” I said aloud.

Lassie spoke up. “Hey, I’m just glad this shit tastes good,” she said, sneaking a mouthful of potatoes from Discord’s plate. We all laughed and chuckled and tilted back our cups.

Derreck nodded. “For honor,” he stated.

“For freedom,” I added in.

“For love,” Lassie chimed. I wasn’t exactly expecting Discord’s answer, but it was suitable all the same.

“For friendship,” he added the finale and we all nodded.

Third person,

Baltimare, Freeze’s super-secret hideout…

Freeze looked down upon the city from her throne at the top of her ice castle that was by far the tallest building in the city, having been constructed with pure ice. The castle tower stood out like a sore thumb among the frozen city, even with most all the other buildings having been turned to ice.

“Today’s forecast… frosty,” she commented, swishing around a glass of nearly freezing booze that was now looking more like a slushy. Three snowmares rushed into the room.

“Ma’am, intruders have penetrated the city limits,” the leader of the group informed the cold leader. Freeze simply closed her eyes, taking a deep inhale through her nostrils.

She turned around graciously, taking a sip from her drink, then spewed it at her disciple, turning her completely to ice. “Imbecilic! I told you to make sure nopony else enters or leaves the city! You said you could handle it and this is what you give me? Failure!” she yelled at the immobilized creature she had created.

Throwing her drink at it, she used her magic to turn the liquor into ice shards that pieced the frozen snowmare and shattered the body apart. "Let this be a lesson to the rest of you!" she yelled loudly and they all rushed away. She felt her heart beating rapidly and she slowly calmed her breathing. She went back over to her throne chair and sat down, leaning her face into her hoof with a sighing, wide-eyed look.

“Haa… ahh,” she sighed. “I hate getting into heated arguments,” she punned.

Burdy’s perspective,

Streets of Baltimare…

I took the corner sharp and the vehicle slid out. A tablet folded down from the interior roof of the vehicle. I thought it was a sunglasses holder. A screen flickered on and Flim appeared on screen.

“Burdy, it appears that your vehicle is in need of more traction-“ he began but I went to cut him off.

“Whoa, Flim, how’d you know that the vehicle lost traction?” I gasped but he continued to talk over me, almost as if he hadn’t heard me. “Hey, can you hear me?” I asked but Derreck tapped me on the shoulder.

“It’s an automated message, probably signalled to play when the vehicle sensed it lost control… kinda like traction control,” he stated then pressed a button on the tablet and rewound the video to the beginning.

“Burdy, it appears that your vehicle is in need of more traction,” the automated message of Flim began. “If you’re ever in a spot that requires more traction, simply activate enhanced traction by pressing the ‘Action’ button. That will employ enhanced traction,” he stated and I blinked. What was this, a videogame? Action button?

Flim stepped aside and Flam stepped up. “The action button is the blue button on the dashboard, the one to the direct left of the button that looks like a drunk stallion eyeing you up from across the bar,” he informed me. I looked in disbelief as I saw the button that did indeed look like a stallion eyeing me up, a bottle of booze in his hoof.

“Whatta yah think that button does?” I asked, pointing to the drunk stallion button. Derreck held his hand over mine.

“Let’s not find out,” he said. I nodded and pressed the blue ‘Action’ button. An X-ray blueprint came up on the tablet display, showing the truck. It zoomed in on the tires and as it did so, spikes sprang out from the tires, piercing the ground.

I opened the door and briefly looked out, seeing that there was indeed spikes sticking out of the tires, probably an inch and a half to two inches thick. “Whoa…” I trailed off and slammed the door behind me. “That is some total James Bond shit right there,” I stated and Derreck nodded as the tablet closed. “What else do you think this rig can do?” I asked curiously and Derreck shrugged.

“For now, let’s just find Freeze,” he stated and I nodded, hammering down on the accelerator. The enhanced traction was amazing. Though I wasn’t able to achieve high speeds, the grip the truck had on the ground made tight turns a breeze.

As we cornered a street, I noticed a blockade with snowmares all around. “Oh shit!” I cursed but Derreck just chuckled.

“Just drive through it… if it really is a combat vehicle, it should be able to pile through some snow,” he commented and I did just that. I picked up to the top speed the enhanced traction would allow, which was only about sixty kilometers an hour, and barreled right into the road block.

The packed snow burst into fluff as we smashed through and simply kept going as if nothing was even there. “Easy peasy,” Derreck commented, looking back to see the snowmares trying to run after us. “Now…” he said, sitting upright. “If I were a crazy, lunatic mare with freezing powers… where would I hide in a winter wonderland?” he asked aloud.

Lassie walked up to the front cabin and pointed to a humongous ice castle. “I’d hide in there… nice and cozy cold,” she stated. I nodded and raced towards the huge ice palace castle thing. It was so luminous. There were dark clouds surrounding it, along with a blizzard.

The truck rumbled along and soon enough, I was thinking about the vehicle more and more. “What should we name her?” I asked, and everyone looked to me.

“Who? Freeze?” Lassie asked and I shook my head then patted the dashboard. “The truck!?” Lassie gasped and I nodded.

Discord spoke up. “Why name it?” he asked curiously.

I just shrugged. “Ah dunno… I name my guns and even my other truck,” I replied.

Lassie spoke up. “We’ll think about it. For now we’ll just call it the truck,” she stated and I nodded. Before I knew it, we had arrived up to the front of the castle. An ominous shiver rattled my spine, but perhaps that was just the wind.

I killed the engine then gulped. It was a diesel… I just hoped we weren’t gone so long that the engine refused to start when we got back. Flim and Flam said it would run but also said the truck wasn’t finished.

We all grabbed our gear. Discord and I were loaded with shotgun bandoliers while Lassie had pouches full of stripper clips and Derreck had extra magazines, courtesy of Flim and Flam. I’d really have to thank them for this…

A smile crept across my face and a tear formulated in my eye. Lassie must’ve noticed because she spoke on it. “Something wrong?” she asked and I just wiped the tear away.

“Oh… nothing, just a little nippy is all,” I said. Thinking back on it… I had never formally forgiven those two after the Manehatten incident… and they truly deserved it now, but I may never be able to tell them.

I just smiled and racked the slide on Nightshade. Derreck spoke up “Alright… Burdy and I will take lead. Lassie, I want you covering our three o’clock, Discord on our nine in tight formation. Don’t overlap lines of fire,” he ordered but Discord spoke up.

“Actually… it might be a better idea if we split up,” he commented and we all looked to him. He brought up a defensive paw. “I’m just saying… we heavily outclass her now that we have these guns,” he said inquiringly.

Lassie spoke up. “Yeah… but in the movies, when they split up, that’s when all the bad stuff always happens,” she stated. I chimed in, but a little more on Discord’s side.

“Lassie… this isn’t really a movie,” I stated and she rolled her eyes.

“It could be, I mean come on, think about it. Crazy bad guy with superpowers, world’s fate coming down to the shoulders of a guy, err two guys, a dragon goat and a talking dog,” she commented but Derreck piped in his opinion.

“Discord may be right… the place is big enough it could take us hours to clear. Added to the fact we don’t know if she’ll try and make an escape then bring the whole place crashing down on our heads,” he stated. I gulped from the thought of it. What if this was a trap?

I nodded. Lassie spoke up. “What?! this is crazy, splitting up and going it all alone. We could all die horribly. Besides, even if we do all go alone, what’s to say she might not find a way to sneak past us and get out?” she mentioned.

I rubbed my head. This just got way more difficult than it had to be. Discord spoke up. “Well… what if Lassie stays with the truck-“ he began but Lassie intervened.

“WOAH! Why the hell are you deciding to leave me behind?! The one that gets left behind always gets it first,” she gasped.

Discord spoke up. “Because those two have invaluable combat experience, they can’t be left behind,” he stated.

“Why the hell don’t you just stay behind and watch the truck then?” she asked. Discord swallowed and thought for a moment.

“Well... because…” he trailed off and scratched his head. “You see, I don’t actually know how to drive that vehicle, so if we needed to make a quick getaway, at least you somewhat know how to drive it. I’d opt to leave Burdy behind due to his driving abilities, but not only is he one of the most experienced with this weaponry, he also has that little eye gadget thing,” he stated.

I immediately caught on to what he was saying. “Oh yeah… I could mark you guys and if we got lost, we could use the map thingy to backtrack,” I stated and he nodded.

“Precisely my point,” Discord said. Lassie grumbled to herself and sat in the driver seat, slamming the door.

I went over and tapped on the window but she wouldn’t answer. I tried the door but it was locked. “Aww… come on Lassie, it’s not like we don’t want you as part of the team or something,” I commented.

“That’s exactly it,” she said back, her voice muffled by the truck's closed interior. She was scorned as all hell.

I just sighed. “That is totally not it,” I said and the door opened quicker than I could react, clipping my knee and making me wince in slight pain.

“Then what is it? Why can’t I come along. It’s just: Oh Lassie, stay in the truck, you’ll only get in the way,” she said, a tear almost forming in her eye. I just tossed my hands.

“No… Discord’s right. We may need a quick getaway, and we need someone who knows how to drive,” I told her.

“But what if you need me in there?” she asked.

“But what if we need you out here?” I asked back.

“Well what if you all die in there?” she asked back.

I took a deep breath. “Then I need you to drive… just drive out of here and race to Canterlot. Tell Celestia or Luna, make them listen… make them know this is serious and that they have to act on it immediately before it spreads,” I told her.

Tears welted up in her eyes and she sniffled before grabbing me into a tight hug. “Promise you’ll come back!” she cried and I held her tightly, her cold tears trickling onto my neck.

“I can’t promise that… but I promise I’ll do my best,” I replied and she squeezed tighter.

“You better,” she told me before leaning back and slobbering a wet dog kiss up my cheek. I gave her a kiss to the side of her muzzle.

“I will, promise,” I said and she held out her pinky index paw digit. I smiled. It had been a helluva long time since I did a pinky finger promise. I took my pinky finger and shook hers.

With that, she closed the door, and even though I couldn’t see her, I could feel her watching us as we departed. I felt bad for leaving her behind, I truly did. But Discord was right. We should divide and conquer.

We all entered the castle through the only entrance and immediately split up…

Third person…

Discord rounded a corner, shotgun at the ready just like Derreck had taught him. Looking around he made sure no one else was near as he made his way over to an open window which gusted cold air and blizzard snow into the castle.

He slipped out the window and took flight, zipping up as fast as he could to the top of the castle, to the throne room. Entering through an open window, he leveled his shotgun’s sights at eye level, scanning the room.

“Cool yer jets,” punned a feminine voice. Discord spun around to see Freeze standing there, unarmed and in but a simple white robe, with giant sparkling snowflakes fluttering off the robe.

“I’ve done what you wanted, now release her!” Discord snarled and Freeze just laughed at the draconequus, almost insultingly.

“Hardly. I told you to bring him to me,” she said and he nodded.

“I have. Here he is, in your city, in your caslte, just like you asked. I brought him through the tunnel you said would be open and unguarded. Now release her!” he barked his order but Freeze simply laughed and held up a snow globe of Baltimare.

Shaking it slightly, she covered the entire miniature town in snow. “You see… I have turned Baltimare... into a winter wonderland… a perfect state… of cold,” she punned. Discord didn’t quite get the pun and just shook his head.

“You promised if I brought him here that you’d release her!” Discord snapped but she held up her hoof.

“Yes… to me, not just to my castle. Have you forgotten so easily? Perhaps I may forget and simply smash their frozen bodies into pieces, would you like that?” She asked and Discord just shook his head begrudgingly. She lifted up a snow globe of Canterlot.

“Soon… Canterlot will succumb to my cold grip… then with nopony to lead them, all of Equestria will bow down to me… before they are frozen to ice!” she laughed manically. She then turned to Discord. “But first… I need to rid myself of that metalling… monkey, and his guns… and you’re going to lead me to him, and then… and then I will release your friend Stuttershy,” she said and Discord growled.

“Fluttershy!” he snapped back and she simply swished herself around, flicking her tail at him in the most carefree way. She knew, that if he killed her, her ice would remain, and all the ponies would remain frozen as well, and when the clouds dispersed and the sun began to thaw them, they may simply shatter from the pressure change.

“I don’t care what her name is. Go, before I find a more competent disciple!” She barked. He nodded and reluctantly left. He looked to his side and saw the mane six, frozen in ice, all with petrified looks on their faces. However, none looked as petrified as the poor, shy, timid pegasus known as Fluttershy, whom had a look on her face like she saw the world ending before her very eyes…

Burdy’s perspective…

I had met up with Derreck after I heard him yelling for me, stating he had lost himself and was travelling in circles. We began using my Eagle Eye map, which worked wonders, to find our way up the castle.

As we neared the top, or at least, I think it was the top, Discord came racing down. “Hurry, I found her!” he gasped, panting and out of breath, his suit torn and shredded.

“What happened?” I asked, worried for his well-being.

“No time to explain, this way!” he rushed off and we quickly ran after him, weapons at the ready.

We embarked flights and flights of icy stairs, almost slipping from time to time despite my heavy work boots. Finally, we reached a set of throne room doors, constructed of ice just like the rest of the castle.

Flat icicles dangled down, almost looking like gigantic banners or something. On the throne room doors where giant frosted snowflakes. With a charge, we burst into the throne room, only to find void of Freeze.

I rushed in blindly, not checking my blind spots first. As I reached near the center of the room, I stopped, spotting six frozen mares. I rushed over and nearly dropped to my knees, tears forming in my eyes.

“Ahhuhuhu… mom,” I whimpered, grasping the frozen, icified version of my mother. “No… no, please… please don’t be gone,” I began to sniffle a little, my tears freezing as soon as they touched her icy body. It stung my cheek skin a little but I didn’t bother with the pain. “Please… I’m so sorry… I’m sooo sorry,” I cried, tears now flowing from my eyes.

A sinister laugh echoed throughout the room and I spun up, immediately leveling my shotgun. Derreck and Discord also had their weapons up and ready. “If you would please… drop yer weapons, put yer hands in da air… and freeze,” said the voice just before a beam of ice shot at me.

I leapt out of the way, ice splattering the ground where I had been only seconds before. I looked up to the ceiling where a mare stood on a rafter of ice. She jumped down but used her ice cannon to create slide that she glided down on her hindlegs, using her forelegs to hold the cannon device.

“Wasn’t dat entrance… cool?” she asked before trying to blast me again. I jumped out of the way again, rolling to my feet. Derreck lined up a few good shots and fired. The SVT-40 pumped out 185g full metal jacket ammunition with sonic trajectory.

The first shot sparked off her cannon, the second as well, knocking it out of her grip. The other shots all connected with her chest. Despite having some kind of super heavy armor on that was constructed entirely of ice, the jacketed ammunition managed to penetrate deep enough to puncture her skin.

A bit of blood trickled out of her but she simply looked up at us and smiled. Those shots should have been absolutely fatal. “Ahh… a deadly shot to the heart,” she commented, and raised her forelegs into the air and blew a misty fog upwards that gently settled back down on her.

“As long as I am in the cold… my body can regenerate my wounds, even some of the most fatal ones,” she commented. I just groaned.

“Oh… that’s a stupid rule,” I replied and she just laughed.

“That’s the cold hard reality,” she said before spewing a freezing mist towards me. I rolled again and fired. The 000buckshot hammered into her armor but didn’t penetrate deep enough to do any significant injury other than knock her back.

However, in knocking her back, I put her in arm’s length of her freeze cannon, which she immediately grabbed before leaping back up. I turned on the Eagle Eye. “Eagle Eye, target Freeze,” I said vocally as I manually targeted only Freeze, leaving Discord and Derreck out. A red triangle illuminated around Freeze. ‘This thing should’ve totally been in a Bond movie!’ I thought silently.

Freeze leveled her cannon at me. “Stay cool, bird boy,” she punned before firing at me. I leapt behind a row of seats which were splashed with ice. I smiled. Even Freeze knew my nickname… I must’ve been making a name for myself back home.

I peeked up and fired my shotgun again, but again it failed to penetrate deep enough to kill her. This time however, the buckshot slammed into her shoulder, spinning her slightly. Derreck popped off several shots which hammered deep enough to slice into her skin and draw blood, but apparently didn’t penetrate right through her body. I wondered to myself just how thick that ice armor was.

I looked around. Where the hell was Discord and why wasn’t he shooting. I disregarded the thought, figuring I had more important things on hand. Freeze fired at Derreck, forcing him behind an ice pillar. She turned back to me.

“You know what the best part of a cake is?” she asked aloud. “THE ICING!” She cackled a pun. ‘Oh great… she almost has an Arnie accent and she’s stealing all the puns!’ I thought angrily as I dodged the beam.

I lined up my ghost ring sights and popped off several rounds, each gunshot roaring and echoing in the confines of the throne room. After several shots, there was a defining ‘CLICK’ as the shotgun dry fired, having been empty.

“Shit!” I cursed as I tried furiously to reload my shotgun in time. Derreck popped off more shots before diving for cover as his rifle too ran dry.

Freeze moved in on me. “Refrigerate after opening,” she punned.

‘Okay… that one didn’t even make sense,’ I thought silently to myself. I rolled out from behind the rows of chairs and she blasted my trail, ice splattering just inches behind me. I kept rushing, trying painfully to escape her wrath.

I managed to get behind a pillar. I heard Freeze’s footsteps closing in. I ran through the list of possible options. The guns seemed to do something, though it wasn’t as potent as it would be to a regular pony. I’d guess that at this rate, we’d have to pump a few dozen rounds into her… at least.

I thought something up as I closed my eyes with a smirk. A memory from a little while back…

“As long as it isn’t absolutely necessary.” I replied and Celestia chuckled.

“I don’t believe a situation like that would occur in your lifetime.” She told me and I nodded…

“It’s a situation like that in my lifetime,” I said.

Freeze spoke up. “It’s time for the birds to migrate south for the winter,” she punned and I laughed softly. Despite being absolutely retarded and not making much sense other than punning on my nickname, it still made me laugh.

I rolled out from behind the pillar and to that of another. Freeze blasted at the pillar and slowly followed me with the ice beam. “It’s time… to put the icing on the cake!” she shouted out yet another pun.

‘Okay Freeze… now it’s time to fight puns… with puns.’ I swiveled out from behind the pillar and Freeze turned to me in shock. “You know Freeze,” I began and for some reason, she stopped to listen to my Arnie pun that I made up on the spot. “Don’t forget tah bake yer cake,” I said in a perfect Arnie voice stepping my left foot forwards and my right foot back.

I cupped my hands and brought them to my sides, then visualized the technique. ‘Anything you can put your mind to,’ the voice of my mother returned. “KA-MEH!” I yelled out, visualizing how the ball of energy would form. Through the coldness of castle, the ball of energy between my palms felt significantly warm.

Freeze stepped back a few paces, shocked at what was happening. “HA-MEH!” I yelled, tensing up and readying for the blast.

Freeze leveled her cannon at me. “Freeze well!” she punned and fired. At that split second, I shot my hands forwards and with all my might I let out a tremendous yell.

“HAAAAAA!” The shockwave fluttered back my black leather trench coat as the blue energy beam shot forwards from my palms in a destructive blast that collided with Freeze’s own ice beam.

Our beams clashed, energy flashing about at the impact point. Freeze’s ice beam turned to water as it connected, splashing about and only freezing once it touched the ground.

In seconds, my energy wave overtook hers and began to trek towards her. A look of shock came over her face as she gulped. “DISCORD!” She yelled out and I wasn’t really sure what she had meant by it, but the next thing I knew, a block of ice smoked me in the side of the head, knocking my concentration off and allowing Freeze to best me in a split second gap.

The ice beam immediately over took my blast and spewed at me. In the final moment, I tilted my body to the right, her freeze beam skimming off the left side of my face painfully. I screamed in agonizing pain as I fell to the floor.

My hands immediately sprang to my face which felt more like it was burning. Smoke, or maybe it was steam vapours, fumed off my injury. “Uh…ah! Ahhh!” I cried in pain, withering on the ground helplessly.

As I withered, I managed to steal a glance towards my mother, but as I went to apologize, I noticed Discord standing there with another piece of ice in his claws. ‘That traitor!’ I thought angrily, though not vocally as the only things leaving my lips were roars of pain.

Freeze stepped up, cannon in her hooves. “You should know… when you play with ice, you’re gonna get frozen,” she punned. I was about sick of this broad stealing good puns! She went to level the cannon on me but an ear deafening roar boomed in the throne room.

Derreck leapt through the air and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to her cheek, sending her tumbling back, her freeze cannon going off and splattering the ceiling with ice.

I don’t much remember anything past Derreck heaving me over his shoulder and leaping out the open window of the tall castle… In my final moments, I prayed forgiveness to all those I had failed. ‘I’m sorry Lassie… for not coming back,’ I apologized, tears only flowing from my right eye.

I closed my good eye. ‘I’m sorry mom… I’m so-so sorry… I’ve failed you…’ I wanted to whimper and cry but my world began to fade. It didn’t matter now. Painful and hurtful memories resurfaced in my mind, plaguing my thoughts, ‘Once a fuck up… always a fuck up.’ the voice yelled in my head. I let out an exhale. ‘Maybe things will be better with me dead,’ and those were my final thoughts before my world, everything, went black…

Derreck’s perspective…

We hurtled down the heights, probably falling at speeds that give one frostbite from the blisteringly cold temperature. With Burdy on my right shoulder, I leaned my body slowly closer to the wall of the castle, and didn’t have to wait long.

As we descended the castle at mindboggling speeds, the castle’s base grew in girth, probably for better support or something. I leaned my left side towards the castle, keeping my injured friend away from the impact that was too come.

With a pain, vivid memories of somepony telling me something resurfaced. ‘Anything you can put your mind to,’ the voice said. I didn’t remember that moment, but it felt like I was there... and I felt confident, and almost knew somehow that it would work.

I felt my forearms shift a little, and it was a bit painful to say the least. With a roar, I clenched my fists. With an agonized roar I forced it out, almost like I was sticking out my tongue.

I felt my wrist bones separate, followed by an excruciating pain that severed itself up my entire arm. With a bout of angered strength, I finished the push. My knuckles spread apart painfully and I let out a howl of pain. The skin between my knuckles split open to give way for the claws that extended out of them.

With a forceful thrust, I jammed the claws into the wall like a cat trying catch itself from a fall. The claws shredded the ice and caught, jerking my arm relentlessly and painfully. Along the way, I had grazed my face against the ice painfully, shredding some of my skin on the left side. I groaned in pain, biting my lower lip to try and even out the pain I was enduring. “That… hurt a lot more than I thought it would!” I hissed to myself.

I began hopping down the castle, descending in short strides, each time catching myself with my new protrusions… goddess, they almost hurt more than they were worth.

I looked down. The final decent to the ground was a good twenty or thirty foot drop. I rolled my eyes, held Burdy to my chest and jumped, putting myself between the ground and his body.

I hit bottom pretty hard but the impact didn’t feel like that of ice. It felt, and sounded, more like the slam of metal. I let out a loud gasp of pain, the wind being knocked from my lungs and several ribs probably cracking.

The driver door opened and Burdy’s dog rushed out. “Oh my goddess! Evan!” She cried out, rushing to the front side of the truck. I slid off but collapsed on the ground, my bone claws retracting. I released my tight grasp on Burdy and let Lassie hold him. There was a lot of blood accommodating the wounds at my knuckles, even as they sealed shut.

“Oh my goddess… oh no, Evan… oh please, say something,” she cried, holding his limp body tight. I looked up to the sky, more so to the top of the tower. At this point, I realized my left eye wasn’t really working. I let out a hush of pain as I closed the damaged eye and looked to the peak of the tower with just my right. I closed my right eye and clunked my head gently into the grill of the battle truck. This… just got a little more difficult…

Author's Notes:

Okay... sorry for all the cheesy puns but I just had to indulge in my personal Arnold fetish, you guys know me well enough. Anyway, as for the battle truck, what should it be called. I'm letting you as the readers decided. Have a vote or what have you and the most popular one can be her/his name. Think of it as my way of saying thank you for reading this story, even though it isn't really the greatest