Evan’s Perspective,

Monday, May 11th, 2014…

I awoke semi-peacefully, a strange aroma catching my sense of smell. As I awoke, I recalled a messed up…

My stomach sank. Beside me was my mother, sleeping contently. I looked down, realizing that I was naked, and that there was stains all in the bed sheets, and dried sex fluids on my mother’s fur.

“Oh goddess… oh shit… oh fuck, ohfuckohfuck… shit!” I whispered frantically. In the state of debilitating arousal that I was in, and my mother being in heat… “Oh my goddess… oh no… oh nonononono… oh man… this is bad… really bad…” I said frantically as I quickly and quietly sat up.

I knew that when cows were in heat, they acted out differently… but I had no idea what my mom would act like this morning. Would she be mad at me… oh goddess, I know we’re a different species and she said I couldn’t get her pregnant but, oh man I feel a bit nauseas.

Vivid visuals of us having sex resurfaced in my mind. “Oh man… oh man, oh please… this has to be a bad dream,” I whimpered fearfully. I just had this really, really, really bad feeling about this… I mean REALLY BAD feeling.

My heart began to race and I feverishly paced around. Oh man, I was in SOOO much trouble, I just knew it. I had that feeling… like the one you get as a child when you do something bad and you just know you’re in trouble, big trouble.

Butterflies flickered around in my stomach as I began to get light headed. “Oh… oh goddess…” I stammered as I quickly paced down the stairs. ‘Maybe… maybe she won’t remember… if I’m not around, maybe she won’t know,’ I thought to myself but my conscious scoffed at me.

‘You’re disgusting. First you fuck your mother, then you try to deny you did it,’ it told me, forcing me into a deeper sense of fear. ‘I told you to leave it, but NOOO, you just had to think with your dick. Don’t you listen to anything I tell you?’ It lectured me.

I quickly pushed away my thoughts as I rushed downstairs to my room and slipped on a pair of blue jeans, a white v-neck, my religious cross necklace, my watch and a pair of socks. “Fresh air… fresh air will help,” I said, rushing back upstairs and grabbing my wallet.

Spike was on the couch, napping contently. ‘Oh no… he doesn’t know… does he? When did he get home? I didn’t hear him come in,’ I wondered fearfully.

“Whatcha doin?” Asked a voice from behind me, scaring me to the point that I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“GAH!” I gasped, spinning around defensively. Lassie sat there on her haunches, looking up to me with a smile, tongue hanging out as she panted happily. “Lassie, I swear I didn’t do it!” I pleaded my innocence.

She furrowed her brow. “Didn’t do what?” She asked confusedly.

“Uh… nothing, wanna go out for breakfast?” I asked her and she immediately shot up to all fours, tail whirling around.

“OH YEAH!” She let out a whooping cheer.

“Sssh!” I hushed her and she again gave me a confused look. I quickly thought up an excuse. “It’s early and everypony’s still sleeping,” I told her and she grabbed my right arm, yanking it down and looking at my watch.

“It’s like… six in the morning. I don’t think they’ll mind,” she noted but I still hushed her as I grabbed my boots and slipped them on along with my duster coat. Very quietly, and discreetly, my faithful canine companion and I left the premises.

“So, where we goin?” Lassie asked enthusiastically. Truthfully, I hadn’t really gotten that far in my thoughts, I just needed to make an escape to think of an excuse to tell my mother when she woke up.

“Uhm… how bout…” I thought to myself. The early morning dew on the ground, the distance rising sun, the smell of fresh air… it all reminded me of working on the farm back home… well, minus trying to run from the fact I just had sex with my mother.

All the thoughts brought up memories of having Tim Hortons with my boss. “Tim Horsetons sound good?” I asked and Lassie’s smile grew wider.

“Oh yeah, last one there’s buying!” She zipped off.

“HEY!” I yelled out, chasing after her, but there was no way I’d catch her. Even if I did beat her, she had no money and would make me pay for it anyway. We zipped along the damp morning roads of Ponyville.

In a matter of minutes, we reached the fast food establishment. “HA-HA! The canine crosses the finish line first, AND THE CROWD GOES WILD… AHHHH!” Lassie cheered and I just rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, but you’d have made me buy anyway,” I muttered and she just nudged into me.

“Aww… don’t be a sore loser. Not everypony can be as good as me,” she said boastfully. Man, she must’ve been hanging out with Dash last night.

“Yeah yeah… don’t let it go to your head dog,” I quipped, holding open the door for her. She quickly walked up to the counter with grace. That mare that had served me last time, I couldn’t remember her name, was still the cashier.

“Morning,” Lassie greeted her and her face went pale. “What?” Lassie asked, looking behind herself and to me, then back to her. “You see a ghost?” Lassie asked and the mare gulped. I spoke up to break he tension she probably had.

“Morning Ms… uh, sorry, I forgot your name,” I greeted.

“M-M-Mary,” she stammered in disbelief.

I reached out my hand to greet her again. “Sorry, I forgot your name. You served me last time I was in,”

“Yes, I remember. You were very laid back… the dog talks?” She asked and Lassie pipped up in an annoyed tone.

“The dog, has a name, and that name is Lassie,” my friend complained and I just sighed with a heartwarming smile.

“Yeah, don’t get her started,” I told Mary. Lassie spoke up.

“Yeah, and LASSIE, would like a BELT, a coffee, two cream one sugar, and some hash browns, please.” Mary, still couldn’t believe her ears but quickly typed it in.

“And may I please have… a dozen doughnuts, a large chocolate milk and… a BELT as well please,” I ordered. She typed it in and… “A hundred and twenty three bits?” I asked in disbelief as she handed me the bills, several things wrong with the order.

“UGH! Oh… I’m sooo sorry. I’m not very good at this,” she stated, taking back the order and retyping it. “So that was two BELTs… a dozen doughnuts, a coffee, two cream one sugar and an order of hash browns?” She asked timidly but Lassie shook her head.

“No, no… a lot of hash browns. Ask in... like twenty,” she ordered and the mare looked to her with a raised eyebrow. I waved my hand.

“Don’t ask,” I informed her and she typed it in, though the bill still came to forty two bits, mostly due to Lassie’s order of hash browns. I passed over forty five bits.

“Keep the change,” I said with a wink. She smiled and checked it through.

Lassie and I took a seat nearby. “Ooh… smooth moves Casanova,” Lassie commented and I raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?” I asked curiously.

“Man, you… you, you… you’re good,” she kept pointing her index paw digit at me.

“Good at what?” I asked innocently.

“Man, the whole ‘Keep the change’. Only you could pull that off flirtatiously and make it work. Anypony else would’ve looked like a goon,” she commented and I retorted immediately.

“It was not flirtatious!” I hissed quietly and she laughed briefly.

“HA! Yeah okay… well, maybe you didn’t mean to make it flirtatious but… ooh, she likes you,” Lassie giggled and I blushed.

“She does not. She just likes it when customers are polite and easy going,” I commented back and Lassie snickered, stifling a laugh.

“Ooookay… so that must be the reason she’s eyeing you up right?” She asked. I looked out of pure curiosity. As I looked, our eyes met and she quickly looked away bashfully with a flush hue of red across her cheeks.

Lassie tapped my foot with her hindpaw. “Told yah so!” She giggled and I looked away timidly.

“She… that doesn’t mean anything,” I said and Lassie sighed as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay then Mr. Dense. Sooo… any other mares that you’ve subdued lately?” She asked and I gasped.

“I’ll have you know I’m not a man whore!” I hissed at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Fine… Rarity, Mary, several other mares…" she trailed off and looked to me coyly. "Twilight,” she added in mischievously.

I tried to gasp but my voice got choked up. “I… I… how do you know… I mean, nothing happened between us!” I snapped and she just laughed then made lewd motions.

“Uh… ugh, mom, you’re pussy is so tight… ugh!” She made jerky motions then acted like she was having an orgasm. “And she was probably like ‘Yes son, fill me with your seed!’” As she rose her paw to her head and acted like she was having a mind blowing orgasm that took her breath away. I peeked to make sure Mary didn’t think we were retarded, but by the looks of things, she didn’t even notice what was happening.

“Lassie! You were watching?!” I asked cursedly. She stifled a short laugh.

“Uhhh, yeah! That was hot dude, especially when your cum was oozing out of her contracting pussy,” Lassie commented and I looked away.

“Stop it, let’s talk about something else… and don’t you dare tell anypony!” I hissed.

“Lips…” she trailed off and made the motion like she was zippering her mouth shut. “Are sealed,” she told me with a wink.

“So… how can you talk?” I asked, bringing up a question that confused just about everypony. “I mean… I know that you move your tongue while your vocal cords do stuff and words come out but… I mean, how come you can talk but other dogs can’t?” I asked and Lassie shrugged.

“I dunno. It was probably just written into the script,” she told me and I furrowed my brows.

“Huh?” I asked and she just brushed her paw at me.

“Forget about it. I don’t even know how I talk, so for now it’s a mystery,” she told me. Seconds later, Mary came over and set about our order.

“Thanks,” I said with a tip of my non-existent hat. She smiled and pulled up a chair.

“May I?” She asked and Lassie set some of her hash browns aside on another plate for her.

“The more the merrier,” Lassie invited her. Mary nodded pleasantly and took a seat then looked to me.

“Thank you for being so easy going. Most ponies get agitated when I constantly get their orders wrong,” she partly thanked me, and partly apologized.

I brushed my hand casually. “Meh… it’s cool. Getting mad about something won’t make it better any faster,” I chuckled. She nodded with a smile.

The three of us sat alone in peace for probably the better chunk of an hour, conversing about mostly useless stuff. “Well, I really should get back to the cash register, ponies will be arriving anytime now,” she said, standing up and offering me her hoof to shake.

“Well, it was good chatting with you again Mary. Take it easy eh,” I offered her peace of mind and quickly shook her hoof. With that I looked to Lassie, whom looked content for the time being.

Still not wanting to face my fears, I decided perhaps I could go see a friend. “Oh hey Mary, can I get a couple muffins?” I asked. I quickly stood up and walked over to the counter, buying about thirty muffins and paying for them correctly.

“Thanks, I’ll see you later,” I gave her a nod and both Lassie and I left the establishment and began walking along with peace.

“So who’s the muffins for?” Lassie asked.

“Derpy. We’re gonna go give her a visit,” I stated and Lassie squealed with delight.

“Oh man! I love that mare, she’s so goofy!” She announced and I scowled at her.

“Lassie, that’s not polite. Derpy is a wonderful mare!” I scorned her and she flinched, her tail whipping up between her legs.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it like she’s really playful and innocently loving, like a foal,” she apologized.

I sighed, “It’s okay… just maybe think about what you’re going to say before you say it. It might not come out the way you meant it to,” I told her and she smirked.

“Jeeze… I never took you for a lecturer,” she joked and I just rolled my eyes. Within minutes, we reached the outskirts of Ponyville, and the hospital where Derpy was still residing until she recovered.

We approached the front doors but I stopped. “How do I get in? Redheart will still be looking for me,” I stated and Lassie just shrugged, pointing to the laundry line with drying hospital gowns, speaking her mind.

“I think I just came up with the most foolproof method of entry…”

Third person…

A disproportionately tall figure stepped into the hospital entrance, being roughly seven and a half feet tall, but very lanky. Ponies immediately took notice of the strange creature that had a face of a dog, but it’s identity was concealed by a little black eye mask.

The creature’s pace was mostly consisting of swaying, it’s body so disproportionate that its height hindered its coordination with walking. “Bend at the knees a bit more, we’re too high and ponies are noticing,” the creature said.

The knees bent and the creature lowered slightly. “Maybe you should hunch at the back,” said a voice from inside the hospital gown that concealed the creature’s body.

“I’m not gonna look like a hunchback!” The main voice hissed. The body started staggering a bit as its body balance was tipped off kilter.

“Steady...” said the voice from inside the gown.

“Well if you would stop staggering around!” Said the main voice.

Nurse Redheart trotted up behind it. “Can I help you… madam?” she asked and the voice from inside the coat gasped.

“Shit…” and Redheart raised a brow.

“Excuse me?” She asked.

“Uhm… sorry about my vulgarity… I have a severe case of… ugh… diarrhea… and I don’t know… oh goddess… I need the washroom!” Said the main voice and Redheart immediately pointed over to a hallway.

“Down that hallway, third door on your right... ma’am… err… sir?” She said, unable to depict if the creature was male or female.

“Thanks,” said the main voice and the figure rushed off, hospital gown flapping. Redheart raised a most curious eyebrow as she noticed the legs were covered in jeans, and ended rather low for the creature’s massive height. But a tail protruded down from up higher on the body, wagging to and fro.

As the creature ran off, the figure hit it's head off a low hanging light. "OW, HEY WATCH IT!" the main voice yelped.

Burdy’s perspective…

We reached the stairwell fairly quickly and immediately removed the hospital gown that Lassie had filched from the laundry line. “I can’t believe that actually worked,” I muttered and Lassie chuckled.

“You don’t always have to use a cardboard box, you can sometimes just use a disguise,” Lassie commented and I just shook my head with a sigh.

“Come on, let’s go see Derpy,” I motioned and we quickly rushed up the stairs. Stealthily sneaking through the stairwells and hallways, we reached Derpy’s room, or at least where she was last time.

Quietly sneaking into the room, we closed the door behind us. I looked over and saw Derpy, looking out the window with an empty stare, probably lonely. “Hey Derpy, how’s it going?” I asked, her eyes immediately shifting over to me.

Her face immediately brightened as a bright smile crossed her face. “Hi Evan, it’s so good to see you!” She seemed to gleam with a brightness from just her happiness alone. I casually took a seat beside her medical bed, Lassie sitting beside me on her haunches.

Lassie extended her paw. “Nice to see you again Derpy,” Lassie commented and Derpy shook her paw.

“You too Lassie,” Derpy replied. I pulled out the bags of muffins and Derpy’s eyes went wide. “Are… are those for… for me?!” She asked joyfully. I nodded and she pulled me into a tight hug, giving me a peck on the cheek. “OH THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!” She had an outburst of happiness.

“No problem Derpy. I know you like muffins and besides… I couldn’t let you perish here with the junk they feed you,” I joked and Derpy kept smiling as she opened up of the bags.

“Wow… there’s a lot of muffins in here. Do you want some too?” She asked but both Lassie and I shook our heads, speaking at the exact same time.

“Nah, we already ate,” we both said together.

“Jinx,” Lassie said, tapping me in the leg with a gentle punch. “Now you owe me a soda,” she laughed and Derpy giggled.

“Thank you. This really means a lot to me,” Derpy said as she began to wolf back muffins like they were going out of style fast. After several seconds, Lassie leaned over to me.

“Jeeze, I’ve never seen somepony eat so many muffins,” she muttered and I just smirked with a stifled laugh that sounded like a rough sneeze.

“Yeah, but I’ve seen you eat more Italian food,” I quipped and Lassie just rolled her eyes. After a few minutes, Derpy stopped eating her muffins, setting a bag aside, probably for later.

She looked to me. “So how have you been?” She asked and I just shrugged.

“Not bad,” I replied, trying not to think about what I was running from. “How have you been… I mean, not considering the busted wing?” I asked and she just shrugged unknowingly.

“I dunno. Pretty good when you’re around but… I get lonely lots,” she stated. I just sighed. I felt bad for her, truly I did. Mostly because it was due to something I did that put her in here.

“I’m sorry Derpy… about what happened. I didn’t mean for what happened to happen,” I told her but she just smiled and took me into a hug.

“It’s okay,” she said, rubbing my back with her hooves. I began to stroke her back as well. “Everypony makes mistakes,” she said and we held the hug for several more seconds before breaking apart.

As I sat back, I noticed a Daring Do book, namely the one that portrayed me as a berserk ape and made her look like the good guy, even though that’s not at all what had happened.

“You like Daring Do?” I asked and Derpy looked over to the story.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good. I like the parts where she always figures out a way in the end, like she always knows what to do,” she said and I wanted to scoff at the story. I was ready to tell her what really happened, but then remembered that Dash had said she wasn’t real.

‘I wonder if she’s like… a secret agent of the museum with a secret identity that nopony knows… so why write stories?’ I wondered and my thoughts began to wander. Before long I noticed Derpy had brought out a small game board and set it on the nightstand.

It looked like a maze with walls, and holes… “Oh goddess…” I muttered, knowing exactly what game it was.

“It’s a really fun game. It’s called Labyrinth, wanna play?” She asked and I smiled with a laugh.

“Okay, but I’m not very good,” I informed her but she waved an assuring hoof.

“It’s okay, neither am I,” she said, setting a metal marble in the ‘Start’ location. Using the little knobs, she tilted the table and began to roll the marble along, but sank it on the third hole.

“Rats!” She cursed her luck and offered me the controls. I retrieved the metal marble from the little space it rolls out of and started, but got sank in the first hole.

“Oh for…” I refrained from swearing, but before I could hand the controls back to Derpy, Lassie took control and started, but only made it to the fourth hole.

“GUH… dammit!” Lassie swore mildly. The three of us sat for… what must’ve been hours, trying to play the game, but failing pretty miserably. However, that being said, after a little while, we got to know exactly how to tilt the table at certain parts, getting further and further after learning how to play.

I kinda figured Derpy, being the tactical game tactician she was, would’ve won, but to my utter surprise Lassie let out a whooping cheer as she made it to the finish first. “AHHH YEAH! What?! That’s right!" Lassie cheered her victory, paw pumping the air in victory. "Oh man, that was fun!” Lassie said with a sigh as she settled.

I looked to my watch, seeing that it was nearly noon. We had been here for several hours doing this, and had finally succeeded. Well, one of us had succeeded anyway. Derpy looked over. “Now try it backwards,” she offered and Lassie smiled.

“That’d be unreal,” she complied but I set my hand on her shoulder.

“Maybe later Lassie. Sorry Derpy but we have to go before a nurse finds me. I’m still wanted by them,” I joked and Derpy gave a pouty face.

“Oh… okay. But come back soon, please,” she asked and I nodded, giving her a tight hug.

“Promise, Tail Twist Swear,” I replied, bumping flanks, then stood up and looked to the door. Just as we went to leave, the door began to open, a rolling food tray begin pushed by a pony entering the room…

Third person

Several minutes later…

The pony pushed the food cart back into the kitchen and casually parked it in the corner. “We need some Brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes and cooked carrots,” the pony operating the cart ordered. The chefs immediately went to it and the pony that was pushing the cart, left to use the washroom.

The drape on the cart moved aside and Lassie snuck out from underneath it, having snuck into it with Burdy without the cart pony noticing while he was serving Derpy. Lassie grabbed a frying pan and stalked up behind a chef.

She very graciously clanked him in the back of the head, not hard and rather quietly. She quickly stripped his clothes without another chef noticing and stuffed his bare body in a pantry cupboard, figuring somepony would find him or he’d simply wake up.

She slipped on the disguise, put a sanitary face mask on, put a few empty plates on the cart then pushed the cart along and out of the kitchen. As she made for the hospital exit, a doctor stopped her.

“Excuse me, where are you going?” the doctor asked and Lassie gulped but quickly thought up an excuse.

“I need some specific ingredients for a patient who is allergic to most of our menu, and I need to go to the grocery mart to pick it up… if you don’t mind,” Lassie said and the doctor nodded, stepping aside and lettering her proceed.

Burdy’s perspective…

The cart began bouncing along and I peeked out the drapes. We were bombing down a hill at increasing speeds. “LASSIE!” I gasped. She had said once we were outside she’d tell me so I could get out. But now we were flying down a hill, and I was still inside the cart.

“Sush, this is awesome!” She hushed me as we nearly flew into the streets of Ponyville with the hospital cart. Lassie tried to navigate through the pony pedestrians. “IF THIS THING HAD A HORN I’D BE HONKING IT AT YOU!” Lassie yelled out, ponies looking back and swiftly leaping out of the way.

“LASSIE! SLOW DOWN!” I yelled but it was too late. As we neared the library, Lassie couldn’t slow the cart to a stop before we reached the library property. The cart was brought to an abrupt stop as the wheels slammed into a rock, and I was propelled from the insecure inside of the cart.

My body was flung through a window, my body mass, added with the momentum, smashed me through the window. Glass shards littered the floor. “DOG… YOU’RE CLEANING THIS MESS!” I yelled out and Lassie’s head peaked through the broken window.

“WOAH! That was sooo AWESOME!” Lassie announced and I just groaned. Easy for her to say. I stood up, more glass shards falling from my body. Lassie raced through the front door.

“Dog… hurry up and clean this before…” I trailed off. Generally when this sort of thing happened, my mom would come rushing down feverishly, thinking I had hurt myself badly. Instead… not even Spike had come to see what had happened.

“Before what?” Lassie asked.

“Where’s… mom and Spike?” I asked but Lassie just shrugged.

“Ah dunno. I was out with you. But here’s the easy way to figure out,” she informed me, standing to her hindlegs and bringing her paws to her lips to funnel her voice. “TWILIGHT! SPIKE! WHERE ARE YOU?!” She yelled out, almost loud enough to deafen me.

I tilted my head away from her, scrunching the entire right side of my face in agitation for how loud she had yelled. Lassie looked back to me. “Maybe they’re out right now,” Lassie stated and I just sighed.

“Well, regardless, clean up this mess you made,” I ordered her and she showed me her paws, wiggling her paw digits.

“How?” she pouted innocently. “I have no opposable thumbs,” she gave a pouty face and I gave her a blank terminator stare.

“Ah’ve seen you hol' stuff before. Dun’t give me dat,” I told her in an Arnie accent and she just frowned.

“Fine!” She pouted like a child that wasn’t getting her way. She grabbed a broom and began brushing the glass into a pile. “Grab a dustpan, this was partially your fault, cause it was your body that smashed through the window,” she told me.

Seeing as how my body wouldn’t have smashed through the window if she wasn’t goofing around, I didn’t see how that was my problem, but I grabbed the dustpan anyway and we swept up the mess.

I dumped the glass into a garbage bag and stowed it away. Looking back to the busted window, I sighed. “We’re gonna have to cover that up,” I said and Lassie just laughed.

“Wayyyyy a head of yah,” she said, pulling out several dictionaries and taping them together with duct tape.

“LASSIE! Don’t deface-“ I simply sighed as she wouldn't listen and taped together a window sized block of dictionaries then sealed the window with it. “Lassie… those were mom’s. I don’t think-“ but Lassie cut me off.

“Oh who cares? Nopony actually uses dictionaries. They use thesauruses,” she stated and I just groaned. I could tell mom wasn’t going to be impressed.

“Ach… whatever,” I groaned walking up the stairs and to the balcony. I set out a lawn chair an flumped down, Lassie following suit.

“So?” Lassie asked as she looked over to me. I raised an eyebrow.

“So?” I asked and she rolled her eyes.

“I dunno, tell me something,” she said and I thought to myself.

“Something,” I replied coyly and she huffed.

“Okay, I’ll start. I’m a talking dog, and that creeps ponies out for some reason, even though there’s talking donkeys and dragons and… well etcetera. I never knew my parents and my earliest memories were of you raising me up,” she said.

“But that was only a few months ago. Yeah, why exactly did you age so fast?” I asked and she snickered. “What?” I asked curiously.

“Says the guy with grey hair,” she laughed and I furrowed my brow then shuffled the sides of my hair, being somewhat self-conscious that when my hair grew long enough, the sides of my hair grayed.

“I… no seriously. It usually takes a year or two for a puppy to grow to full size. I know you weren't a complete puppy when I got you, but you still grew faster than normal,” I stated and she raised an eyebrow with a mused smile.

“Do I strike you as a normal dog?” She asked rhetorically.

“True… okay then,” I said and she smiled.

“Your turn. Tell me something about you,” she suggested.

I rubbed my chin. “Well… I’m the son and faithful student of a princess in Equest-“ but Lassie cut me short.

“Nah-nah-nah… not that kinda stuff. I wanna know about stuff I wouldn't know. You know, stuff like: what goes on inside your head, or your foalhood, or whatever you as a human call it.”

I scratched my forehead. “Well… okay. I was born in this place called Canada, in another… dimension or something. I was… an average person, but a little bigger. People were kinda scared of me and didn’t talk to me much unless they actually knew me or were hanging around someone who knew me,” I informed my canine friend.

“You, scary? WHY?” She asked jokingly. I just rolled my eyes. She cracked her knuckles and stretched. “Well… uhm, I sometimes think you’re a goon, but it’s pretty funny most of the times,” she stated and I just laughed

“I think you’re a little outlandish and ridiculous, but only sometimes is it unbearable,” I told her and she took a teasing offense to it, placing her left paw on her chest.

“Me? Unbearable? Never,” she laughed then rubbed her chin. “I can talk, but I’m not exactly sure why or how. I have only a few memories of when I was young before I met you but it’s mostly just blurred and I’m being dropped off in a basket at that timid yellow pegasus’s doorsteps,” she informed me.

“Well… uhm… ahem,” I coughed. “Uhm, I was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, but after about three years, my mom went to see a wedding in Ontario and… we just never went back,” I said and Lassie raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean ‘never went back’?” she asked.

“Well… my mom just decided that rather than go back to our house in Winnipeg… she’d just stay at my grandmother’s place in Ontario.” I said and she rubbed her chin.

“How far are those places apart?” She asked and I shrugged.

“About a two or three day drive. You could do it faster if you kept driving nonstop but, that’s the average at a hundred kilometers an hour,” I said and Lassie’s eyes went wide.

“Woah… that’d be like just going to a Wedding in Appleloosa and deciding not to come back,” she said and I nodded. She rubbed her chin. “Hmm… well, there’s not much else I could really tell you that you don’t already know… but I do wanna know more about you. Any pets before me?” She asked and I nodded. “Where they as awesome as me?” She asked and I rolled my eyes.

“That all depends. They were… well, let’s just say they weren’t like you,” I began. “My first dog ever was around when I was a little too young to remember. But my mom said I’d always go wandering off with her early in the morning and never come back until late in the evening. Mom said it always scared the hell outta her,” I informed Lassie whose ear flapped in interest.

“What was her name?” Lassie asked.

“Marley,” I replied and Lassie rose an eyebrow.

“Marely eh. And you say she was around since before you could remember? Damn she must be an old coot now,” she laughed and I sighed.

“She... died actually… she always used to run out the lane way when she’d she my dad’s blue truck pull in. Ran out when she saw a blue truck one day and got smoked. Driver brought the dog to my mom and apologized. My mom buried her in front of the house when I was having my afternoon nap, and told me when I woke up. She said I cried for days.” A lone tear trickled down my face as blurry memories rekindled themselves. I couldn’t remember much, other than she was a tri-colored mutt that was mostly golden, and kinda like a Labrador in size.

“Oh…” Lassie trailed off and placed a paw on my hand. “I’m sorry.”

I sighed and patted her paw. “It’s okay. I can’t dwell on it forever,” I stated then continued. “The next dog I had was one that was at my grandmother’s place when we moved. I remember him a lot more. He was a black Labrador named Buddy… kinda mean too,” I replied and Lassie sucked in her lips.

“Oh?” She asked and I shrugged.

“Well… that is to say, he wasn’t exactly friendly… except to me. He bit everyone in the family at least once… except me. We’d always go out walking together and I used to feed him peanut butter and honey sandwiches,” I told her and Lassie began to snicker.

“Peanut butter eh? You don’t say. You know that stuff is hard to get off the roof of your mouth,” she laughed and I just shrugged.

“He didn’t seem to mind,” I replied and Lassie giggled.

“So… whatever happened to him?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“I don’t know to tell you the truth. When I was about seven or so, he just disappeared one night and never returned. Maybe he ran away, got hit by a truck, eaten by coyotes… it’ll be a mystery I will never solve,” I stated and Lassie looked down.

“Man… I don’t know what’d be worse, knowing they’re dead… or not knowing if they are,” she said and I rolled my eyes.

“Well… needless to say I didn’t cry as much, I always told myself as a kid that he ran off and is free in the wild somewhere, probably living up in the mountains with a den behind the waterfall,” I said, another trickling tear leaving my eye.

“Well… that’s one way to deal with it I guess.” Lassie stated and I nodded.

“Yeah, then there was Ally. Her name was spelled A-l-l-y, but pronounced like Alley,” I told her and she perked up her ears.

“Oh, another one, how many more are there?” She asked.

“Just you,” I told her and Lassie rubbed her paws.

“Saved the best one for last eh?” she asked with a wink and I just stifled a snicker and rolled my eyes.

“Definitely,” I joked, rubbing her head.

“Well, go on. Tell me about this ‘Ally’ fellow,” Lassie inquired.

“Well… when I was about eleven, I wanted another dog but my mom wouldn’t let me have one because… well she just wouldn’t,” I told her and Lassie piped up.

“Because she was a drunk bitch?” Lassie joked.

“Lassie! That’s not nice,” I scorned her and she whipped her tail between her legs and whimpered.

“Sorry, it just sorta slipped, honestly,” she apologized and I sighed.

“It’s okay… just uh, easy on the language… yeah, something a little like that. Basically she just didn’t want a dog but I did, but she overruled me so… no dog. But eventually one day, when I was eleven, I went to visit my uncle-“ but as I told the story, Lassie interrupted me.

“Which uncle is this?” She asked quickly.

“My Uncle Justin,” I replied and she nodded then let me proceed.

“Anyway, I went there to visit him and there was this dog outside on a leash and I didn’t think much of it at the time. Anyway, as I was talking with my uncle, his friend came home and let the dog inside and she immediately came over to me and began to lick my face… and I just sat there and let her.” I continued the story.

“You know where us dogs lick ourselves, right?” she asked and I just stifled a quick laugh.

“Yeah, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, the guy said that he only had the dog because he had rescued her from a drug den where she was being abused, and was shocked that she actually took a quick liking to me. So anyway, he asked if I wanted her because he said the only reason he was keeping her was because he didn’t want her going back, but at the same time couldn’t really afford to keep her,” I continued the story further.

“So in the end we talked my mom into letting us take her home and she was… really special to me. Kinda funny too. She showed expertise in hunting racoons and waterfowl even though she had no prior training,” I informed Lassie.

“So whatever happened to her?” Lassie asked and I sighed, the question striking a deep nerve.

“I… I…” I trailed off and bit my lip. “I don’t really know,” I replied and Lassie rolled her eyes.

“Another: dog ran off in the night and never returned?” she asked but I shook my head.

“No… I… I actually don’t know what happened to her,” I replied and Lassie rolled her eyes.

“Man, it’s okay. Just cause she never came home, doesn’t mean you have to dwell on the thought of what happened to her,” Lassie tried to assure me.

“It’s not that. She never ran away from home,” I informed Lassie who raised a brow.

“So if she didn’t… not come home, then how do you not know what happened to her?” She asked, confused and curious.

“Because…” I took a deep inhale, a tear trickling down my cheek. “Because I never came home,” I stifled a sob and Lassie gave a confused look.

“What the hell do you mean you never went… OOHHH… I’m sorry, I…” she trailed off, realizing what I had meant. I harboured my feelings and buried them deep.

Waving my hand at her, I assured her I didn’t take offence. “It’s okay Lassie… it’s just that… that… that…”I trembled on my words, my emotions boiling over.

Lassie took me into a hug. “Sssh… sssh… it’s okay, let it all out,” Lassie cooed. I began to weep, though not loudly, as tears poured from my eyes and down my cheeks.

“I promised her the morning I left for work… that I’d be home that night… to take her for a walk… and she was so happy and excited…” I sobbed remorsefully, hating myself for not being able to finish my last promise to her.

Lassie didn’t speak… neither of us spoke, for a long while she just held me. Finally, after my tears had stopped, and my eyes were probably bloodshot, Lassie spoke. “Jeeze man… that’s heavy… uhm, well… maybe one day you’ll get to go home and take her for that walk. She’ll probably forgive you if you tell her what happened,” Lassie assured me and I just stifled a laugh.

“She can’t talk like you,” I laughed sadly and Lassie just went puffy cheeked as she held back her laughter.

“Well duh!” She said as she slapped a paw to her forehead. “I’m like… the only talking dog around. And besides, not knowing a dog’s thoughts is the fun part of being an owner, right?” she asked and I just rolled my eyes.

“And it makes me feel saner too,” I replied and Lassie just rolled her eyes.

“Where you came from, I’m surprised that you managed to fit into a society of miniature talking horses and stay relatively sane,” Lassie laughed. I rolled my eyes but I did have to agree on her with that one.

Considering where I had come from, and how I was raised up… I was surprised about how much I had changed and managed to actually somewhat fit into the community. I sighed to myself and gave her a pat on the head then checked my watch.

It wasn’t necessarily late but… it was getting on in the day. The putting of a diesel locomotive caught my attention and I looked to see the F brother charging full steam ahead towards the library.

“What the hell are they doing?” I muttered to myself and Lassie leaned her weight into the railing as she placed one of her forelegs on the rail.

“Dunno… they probably want to talk to you,” she replied and I just rolled my eyes.

“I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to see them for a while,” I cursed to myself, rushing down the stairs and out the front door, Lassie in quick pursuit. I quickly ran to my truck and went for Heather, then remembered my little mishap with Tristan.

“Sorry sweetheart, another time,” I apologized, and then pulled out a case labelled ‘Violet’. Inside was a stylized combat shotgun, a big one. It was an identical clone to the famous Mossberg 590 combat series shotgun, but this particular model was made by a Brazilian company called Boito. It was nickel plated and had the long seven shot tube, or as some people call them, the eight shot.

It also featured a twenty inch barrel coupled with a heat shield, and the pump had a built in foregrip. The stock was adjustable with four lengths, and the shotgun featured a pistol grip. Overall it was a pleasant shotgun, nothing fantastic, and I had picked it up for a reasonable price… all those many months ago.

I thumbed a few buckshot shells into the tubular magazine, just to seem intimidating. As the brothers parked and descended, I racked the slide with the terrifying and iconic ‘KA-CHUKE!’ that the pump slide made while being actioned.

“Mr. Burdi-“ but I cut them off by firing a shot into the air, silencing them.

“I thought I said I didn’t want anything to do with you jokers for a long time,” I stated and they just gulped as I held my shotgun at hip level, racking the slide and ejecting the spent, smoking shell onto the ground.

“Please… just hear us out,” they began but I spoke over them.

“How many lives were ended? Do you have any clue how many died? How many were hurt? And for what?” I snarled and they just gulped.

“Yes… well, nopony actually knows the total causalities but… believe us when we say…” they trailed off, removed their hats, stood to their hindlegs, held their hats to their chests and gave me tear filled sappy eyed looks. “We’re terribly sorry. We realized that… somethings… should never be asked of a friend,” they stated and I rolled my eyes.

“That’s not my point. Ponies would’ve still died even if it wasn’t me you asked to do the favour,” I stated but they shrugged.

“But would you have cared? Tell us truly, would you have really actually sat down and thought about all those ponies dead if you had nothing to do with it and heard it on the radio?” they asked and I went to reply nobly but then realized that… they were right.

If the radio had’ve talked about it, mobsters and criminals dying in some goddess forsaken gang battle… I probably wouldn’t have paid much mind… in fact, I might not have even cared, so long as it didn’t happen to any of my frie-

My mind thought about it. They were right, even though I had reason in killing off those mobsters, I had done so selfishly, out of my own desires and need. “Shit…” I muttered to myself and they both raised an eyebrow.

“Now you understand. Mr. Burdick. If you would please come with us,” they began but I stopped them short.

“No way! No more bloodbath errands. No more-“ I began but they cut me short.

“Oh no. We promise. No errands whatsoever. We just… we humbly ask for your forgiveness but we also wanted to give you something more. However, it’s not quite finished but we thought before you get too far out of touch, we figured it might be good for you to know we are sorry and we’re going to try and patch things up between us,” they replied.

Lassie leaned over. “If all else fails, use materialism,” Lassie commented and I nodded. “I’m coming with you,” Lassie said aloud and the brothers paused in brief shock.

“She… talks?” they asked and I nodded, however, they didn’t seem as shocked as everypony else was when they found out. I found it a little strange and suspicious but quickly looked over it. They were inventors, stranger things could’ve happened to them then talking animals.

I grabbed some extra shells for my Violet then boarded their contraption. Lassie hopped on as well. “Why do I not trust these guys?” She asked and I shrugged.

“They’re business stallions. They send off those vibes,” I replied as we made for their desert garage.

Later, desert garage…

We hopped off the train and immediately Flim offered me a blindfold. “What’s the deal?” I asked hesitantly. They never struck me as the kidnapping type, but after their last fiasco, I wasn’t’ sure what to think of them.

“It’s a surprise. Put this on so you can’t see,” he offered. I was still somewhat hesitant.

I looked to Lassie and offered her the shotgun. “You know how to use this?” I asked and Flim held his hoof to his chest.

“Mr. Burdick. I’m insulted that you’d think you need such weaponry when we’re simply going to surprise you with gifts,” he said, struck with shock… but I think it was faked shock.

“Alright… fine,” I said, setting my shotgun aside but not letting my guard down as I slipped on the blindfold. They led me… somewhere, and I could tell a bunch of lights flicked on.

They removed the blindfold and I was almost blinded by the light. Lassie spoke before I did, having not been blinded by the light like I was. “Woah… what is it?” Lassie asked.

Finally my vision came around and I was thinking the same thing. It… well, it kinda looked a little like my truck, but a little like the GURKHA F5 combat vehicle from back on my world as well. It was hard to tell since there was still many pieces missing and the vehicle couldn't quite be considered drive-able.

“It’s a new vehicle we’ve been building. We’re going to patent it as the Burdickson…” they trailed off and looked to me. “Unless you want to call it something different?” they asked.

“Wait… you’re building a truck and naming it after me?” I asked but they shook their heads in unison.

“No… we’re hoping to produce an assembly of vehicles and name the brand after you,” they replied and I looked to them, not really knowing if this was a bad thing or a good thing.

“It'll be the greatest invention in Equestria since... probably sliced bread,” they began and Flam walked up, holding a remote.

“You see, we took the original design of you truck and modified it significantly. Namely, we shortened the vehicle’s overall lengths. That way you’ll be a little bit more nimble and can get around corner’s easier than in that boat you drive,” they commented.

“Hey now… Cadence gets around just fine,” I defended my truck but he rolled his eyes.

“Yes but for a combat vehicle-“ he began but I cut him short.

“Woah! Who said anything about combat vehicle! Slow down, I don’t want you guys producing a combat vehicle for ponies!” I argued but he simply sighed and Flim handed me a blueprint showing a more civilianized looking vehicle, far different from what mine looked like. In fact, the vehicle looked like an old 1930’s Ford Model AA.

“Wait… how’d you go from…” I looked to Cadence, then to the combat truck that was partially finished. “Cadence to that… then to-“ I cut myself short and looked to the blueprint. Maybe this was just one of those weird Equestrian things.

“Okay… so the civilian version isn’t meant to be a combat vehicle… so what makes you think I need a combat vehicle?” I asked and they both looked at each other than to me.

“Because ever since you arrived, you could’ve used one of these for just about every single battle you’ve been in,” the both said in unison. I was about to say I haven’t been in that many fights but… I had been in enough that they made their point.

“So… if it doesn’t have any weaponry-“ but they cut me short.

“Oh, but it does!” They both announced happily. I was about to object but Flim quickly countered my objection. “But they’re mostly all defensive, promise! No guns, just like we promised,” he said then nudged Flam who nearly jumped.

“Wha… oh right! Yes, ahem… observe!” He said joyfully then pressed a button. The truck didn’t quite disappear completely but… it turned almost invisible, kinda like the predator.

“You see Mr. Burdick, we’ve managed to integrate a near transparent light setting into the armor plating of the vehicle, making it almost invisible to the pony eye… erm… human eye,” he said then tapped another button and the vehicle came back into view.

“It features a relatively thick armored shell with anti-magic coating to prevent spell casters from damaging the vehicle or possibly overturning it. The armor itself can sustain up to and including mediocre spell blasts and can even sustain severe fire damage for short periods of time. The glass is impact resistant but… we haven’t got anything quite like your weapons to test it so we can’t say for sure if it’s bulletproof, but a magic blast shouldn’t bother you unless you’re getting attacked by a veteran unicorn or something along the likes,” Flam informed me, then Flim spoke up.

“Yes, and the vehicle is heavy enough that most creatures won’t be able to simply knock it over and the vehicle is completely encased so nothing can easily get into your vehicle. We also redesigned the motor to be smaller, more fuel efficient and with a more powerful torque rating than your old engine,” they stated. That information kind of hit me hard. I always liked my old truck but I suppose even the new trucks on my old world were smaller yet more powerful than poor old Cadence.

“We also switched the transmission to an optional manual transmission, so you can dictate the gear shift… just make sure to change the gear before about three thousand five hundred revolutions in any gear… it might wear down the transmission pretty fast if you max it out all the time,” Flim continued. “And right now, we’re integrating a powerful traction system on the wheels. As of now it isn’t quite finished but when it is… you may well be able to scale straight up the side of a mountain,” he stated, pressing a button on a control monitor. Spikes extended out of the wheels and gripped the vehicle to the floor.

Lassie leaned over to me. “I think it’s pretty snazzy,” she said and I rubbed my chin.

“I just have this feeling that you guys are trying to make me forget what you made me do by giving me something flashy… rather than actually face the reality of what happened,” I said and both Flim and Flam sighed while looking down to the ground and kicking a stone.

“Well… you see… it’s just that…” they both trailed off. “We don’t really… know how to apologize for this. We can’t tell what you’re feeling and truthfully… we are sorry but I don’t think either of us could really fix what has been done,” Flim said.

I bit my lip. He had a point. Nothing they do could really change, or fix, what had been done. Flam spoke. “So we figured if we gave you something we truly poured our hearts into… maybe you’d forgive us and we could put the past… in the past,” he said.

“My best friend is still in the hospital,” I said but Lassie quickly piped up.

“No I’m not,” she stated.

“Different best friend,” I told her. “If one simply forgets the past, they’re prone to making the same mistake again,” I told them and Flam spoke first.

“But those who dwell on the past are sure to miss the future,” he said and I bit my lip. But before I could try and interject, Flim interrupted us.

“Regardless of future or past. We’re not trying to force you to forgive us. We’re just trying to show you that we’re actually sorry,” Flim stated. “It’s not done yet, but when it is, it’ll be one of our greatest creations, one of the most technological advanced things in all Equestria… all for your taking,” he told me.

Strange really, even now, I wasn’t sure if they were actually sorry or just bluffing really well. For now I’d accept their apology. “Okay guys…” I took a deep breath. “I forgive you,” I said and their faces went into bright smiles. “But!” I said, making them both go pale faced again. “If something like this ever happens again… I’m gonna get mad,” I said and Flim spoke up.

“Like last time?” he asked and I shook my head.

“I wasn’t made then,” I stated, thinking back to when I just got back from Manehatten with Derpy.

“Really? But you were yelling… and screaming… loudly,” he said, almost like yelling and screaming was the absolute worst I could do.

“That wasn’t angry. I was unhappy,” I boasted and they both gulped.

“Indeed… oh, one more thing before you go,” Flam interjected and I raised an eyebrow as he offered me a plain looking watch.

“I already have one,” I stated but he shook his head.

“It’s nothing like that thing, I swear,” he said. I removed my watch and set the new one on. “The straps are made of a tough fiber so they shouldn’t break under normal circumstances,” he said.

It kinda felt a little like leather… maybe Kevlar. The watch was completely digital, with numbers indicating the month, the day, and which day of the week it was, along with the time, though it was on the twenty four hour cycle, not twelve hour like I was accustomed to.

There was also a bunch of buttons. I went to press one but Flim stopped me. “WAIT!” He announced and I stopped immediately. “That button releases an EMP charge that’ll fry anything electric within a ten yard radius,” he informed me.

“So wouldn’t that kill that watch?” I asked but he shook his head.

“No. The watch is made of a special EMP resistant paneling that counters the micro emissions transmitted by the blast,” he said scientifically. “That watch has many functions, this button here," he said, pointing to another button. “Launches a grappling cable that can shoot about thirty to forty yards depending on the conditions, and has a length of about on hundred meters so you can grapple down all sorts of things,” he said and I looked at the watch.

“How did you fit all that wire in here?” I asked but he simply shrugged.

“Don’t think too much about it, you’ll only get a headache, trust me. This button,” he said, pointing to yet another. “Fires a rather potent tranquilizer that can even knockout an Ursa Major,” he informed me. “But you have to be within five yards for the dart to have enough force, or it might not even penetrate pony skin… and you also only have one shot, but it’s easy to reload,” he quickly opened a small port at the front of the watch which I thought was another button.

Just load a dart down there, and pull back on this,” he said, pulling back on a button that must’ve actually been a cocking handle. “Then… when you’re ready, simply cock your wrist downwards and…” Flim trailed off, waiting for me to do as he instructed. I tilted my hand down and the watch let out a silent ‘tshoop’ almost like a weak crossbow of some sort.

Flim closed the front launch port shut and handed me a small packet. “There’s only five shots, but if you want more we can make them. You can also leave one loaded with the port shut,” he informed me.

“Anything else?” I asked and he nodded, albeit nervously.

“Well… it does… kind of… have a laser… but it’s very short ranged and intended for cutting through metal… though we weren’t quite sure if you’d think we were trying to create a weapon or not so… it’s a little less than developed and only has a range of about a hoof so…” he trailed off.

“Tell him about the remote control function,” Flam piped up as he fiddled with something while Lassie watched. Funny, while I was listening to Flim’s informational speech about my watch, I hadn’t even noticed what those two were doing. I still didn’t know what they were up to.

Flim turned to me and held out a remote. “We’ve been trying to integrate a remote control function but…” he clicked a button and the timepiece of the watch crawled out of the housing. It looked almost like a spider but with four legs instead of eight.

It jumped down and Flim showed me the remote which had a visual screen, showing what the watch spider was looking at. There was a bunch of little readouts on the screen, most of which was directions, temperature… mostly useless stuff.

“However…” Flim stated depressingly as he began to control the spider, making it move around. “We haven’t quite...” he trailed off as the spider’s legs didn’t work in harmonic unison, and the spider collapsed, its legs still trying to crawl while it sprawled around on the ground.

Lassie let out a whooping cheer. “AWW YEAH! Look at this thing!” She announced and Flam merely chuckled. I looked over and Lassie was displaying a fancy dog collar. The wraparound of the collar was a regular blue adjustable belt, and the tag itself was a stylized golden colour. It had a beautiful inscription that read, in cursive letters, ‘Lassie’.

“I like these guys!” Lassie announced. I just smirked. Well, at least materialism worked on one of us. Lassie shook Flam’s paw while Flim looked back to me and set the timepiece… spider thing… gadget, back into the watch.

“For now,” Flim began, “Just don’t use that function. But other than that, we’ve worked most of the bugs out of it,” he stated. Ha-ha… bugs.

“Alright… uhm, thanks,” I thanked them. Okay… maybe the materialism worked a bit on me too. I inhaled and patted Flim on the shoulder. "I'm sorry you guys... for being so rough on you earlier... I just... it's just that..." I trailed off and Flim put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Some words need not be spoken to understand them," he said and I nodded.

Flim and Flam both went back to work, leaving Lassie and I to mingle about in the shop. “Woah,” Lassie said aloud and I walked over to her. In front of her, and what I presumed her to be looking at, was what looked like the frame of a two wheeled vehicle, possibly a motorcycle, but the wheels were beside one another, not one in front and one to the rear.

“Looks like they were trying to build a motorcycle or something,” I mentioned and Lassie shook her head and pointed to a wall.

“I think they were trying to build much more than that,” she said and I looked up to the wall. All the photos looked so old. They had an orange-ish tint to them, making them look like newspapers from the 30’s. But if these photos were so old… then they couldn’t be of Flim and Flam.

I set my finger on one of the photos and peered closer at it. Maybe the newspaper was made to look like this and it wasn’t actually that old. Most of the articles went on about two young inventors that were making a name for themselves.

A lot of the inventions were pretty cool, even though I had heard of most of them from my old world. New combustion engines to replace magically driven ones, carriages moved by motor rather than labour…

Lassie spoke both our minds. “Wow… these guys really were something,” she said and I nodded. “What went wrong?” she asked and I looked back to them, then to the photos.

They seemed like such a promising pair of inventors, that didn’t strike me as the conniving type that AJ told me they were. Nowhere on the wall of photos did it speak of some downfall, or scheming of their company… nothing. It just… stopped.

“Maybe they just… got greedy or something,” I suggested and Lassie shrugged.

“Maybe we should ask them,” she offered but I grabbed her.

“No! Let’s… let’s not. Maybe it’s a painful thing to talk about,” I said, talking one last gleaming look at the wall of photos. Funny, even though they were photos, it was like I was looking into the past.

In my mind, the photos produced a movie like projection into the air for me to see. The humming chug of an old movie projector played in my mind. The orange tinted ponies in the photos began to move in my mind, and the two brothers smiled, laughing as they shook one another’s hoof and presented to the public their newest invention. They were so young in those photos. Heck, Flam didn't even have his facial hair at the time.

I smiled faintly, holding my left hand over my mouth and stroking my cheek with my thumb, almost as if I was thinking about something. I sighed and turned to Lassie. “Well… maybe it’s time to go home,” I said with a sigh.

“How? Your truck’s at home,” she replied and I looked to the two brothers who were working away at some contraption…

Ponyville…

The train vehicle departed, Lassie and I waving to the brothers as they left. It was late now, the evening sun setting in the distance. I slung my combat shotgun over my shoulder and decided it was time to face the music… so to speak.

“Guess it’s now or never,” I said and Lassie looked up to me.

“What’s now or never?” she asked, somewhat unsure of what I had meant.

“I have to… talk with mom about… last night,” I said and we made for the door of the house. I still wasn’t sure how she'd take this. As we entered the home, I was shocked to find it just as we had left it… empty.

“Mom… Spike?!” I yelled out but nopony answered.

“Hey Twilight! Spike!...” Lassie trailed off. “Owl! Come hither!” She yelled and Owlowiscious flew down to its perch on Lassie’s back. “Minion, where have they gone?” Lassie asked and I just face palmed over how Lassie addressed Twilight’s pet.

“Who,” the owl replied.

“Twilight and Spike. Where have they gone?” Lassie asked.

“Who,” it replied again.

“Princess Twilight and Spike the baby dragon… where have they gone?” Lassie asked.

“Who,” the owl still replied. Lassie threw her front right paw up into the air in distress.

“Aww to hell with you. You’re useless… now go get me some nachos!” Lassie ordered, tying a bag of bits to its leg. The owl flew off and Lassie smiled.

“Uhm Lassie… how does he understand you?” I asked and Lassie shrugged.

“It’s not that we understand one another. It’s that it realizes that I am dominant, so it does my biding,” Lassie commented, not truly answering my question.

“Uhm… right,” I replied and Lassie looked to me.

“Say… you wanted me to cover you when they had you blindfolded, right?” She asked and I nodded. “Well…I don’t actually know how to use one of those, you’re going to have to teach me,” Lassie commented but I shook my head.

“Tomorrow,” I replied and she gave me a pouty look. “Sorry pup, but if mom and Spike ain’t home, then I gotta make dinner. And you didn’t send Owlowiscious out with enough money for all of us,” I replied.

Lassie swung her right front paw across her chest as she snapped. “Shit,” she cursed… wait, how did she snap without a thumb?

I set my shotgun behind the front door, then proceeded into the kitchen. “What should we have for dinner?” I asked. Lassie pulled out some cereal and milk.

“Feel like a bit of nostalgia?” she asked, bringing up the topic about how I used to feed my dog Ally cereal and milk for breakfast. I just chuckled and took a seat across from her. Lassie set out two bowls with spoons and filled the bowls with with cereal. I poured the milk and we sat their eating cereal, just like I used to back in the day with my dog.

I took a deep inhale through my nose and looked over to Lassie, who didn’t bother using her spoon and simply slurped it, just like Ally used to. Lassie noticed my stare and looked over with a raised brow.

“Wha?” she asked through a mouthful of cereal, some of the chewed bits falling out onto the table.

“Nothing… just thinking about old times,” I replied. She just rolled her eyes and continued eating. Every time she’d run low on cereal or milk, she’d replace it with more, until we were out of cereal.

“Damn,” she muttered then quickly licked up the milk in her bowl. As she finished, Twilight’s pet owl entered the room with a white takeout carton on its back. It landed on the table and presented it to Lassie.

My canine friend gracious took the carton, giving the owl a little rub to the noggin. She then pulled out a little bag of crickets. “Here, let me indulge you,” Lassie replied, handing over the bag.

Owlowiscious took the bag then flew off, leaving Lassie with the carton. She popped it open the started shoveling cheesy chips into her mouth. Stopping for a moment, she held out a cluster of chips, dripping in melted cheese, for me to take.

“Wan’ some?” she asked through a mouthful. I waved my hand in decline. I sat there and snickered to myself as Lassie hovelled back the rest of the nachos then belched loudly. “Now that!” She announced for all to hear. “Is a dinner of champions,” she said proudly while rubbing her full belly.

“Maybe add some steak and bacon… ribs and porkchops… a little bit of soda, potato salad… macaroni and chees... yeah, dinner of champions,” I said and she rose a brow.

“Steak and bacon? Like from animals?” She asked and my stomach dropped. I figured that because she was a dog, she’d be less freaked out by the idea of eating an animal.

“Sorry… I uhh… thought you’d-“ but she cut me off.

“You know… that would sound pretty good if I wasn’t stuffed,” she said then stood up to her hindlegs. “Well, come on, let’s go watch some TV,” Lassie offered and I was willing to follow. TV sounded pretty good right about now.

Lassie flopped down on the couch while I leaned back in the recliner. “Life of luxury,” I commented and Lassie nodded.

“I suppose that’s what it’s like when your mom’s a princess,” she added and I nodded while Lassie flicked on the tube. She surfed the channels until she found and old black and white movie with giant spiders terrorizing a city.

I just chuckled as she decided this was the movie we were watching. Her and her corny movies…

As the movie continued, I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes open. Every so often I’d pass out long enough that when I awoke, the movie would be further along from where I passed out.

Eventually, I gave into the vice of exhaustion and dozed off for the night…

Tuesday, May 12th, 2014…

I awoke to the annoying sound of a prolonging beep. My vision was all hazy, especially with the lack of light. I tilted my head up and looked through the front window. The sun hadn’t even begun to rise yet so it was still…

I looked to the new watch. It read 0439. So almost quarter to five. The beep continued to ring and I looked over to the bright television. The test pattern was playing, and color bars littered the screen.

“Ugh… muh… uhh!” I groaned, trying to wake Lassie without having to put in any physical effort. She, however, was out cold. It wouldn’t be a problem, so long as I had the TV remote. This however was not the case, as the TV remote lay in her lap.

“UHHH!” I groaned loudly and Lassie stirred in her sleep. “GAARRRR!” I groaned deeply and Lassie got choked up on a snore and awoke drowsily.

“Wha… huh?” she asked then clucked her tongue around inside her mouth. “Ugh… morning breath,” she cursed to herself.

“Lassie… uhh!” I groaned and Lassie looked over to me with exhausted, dreary eyes.

“What?” she asked sleepily.

“Turn off… the TV,” I told her and she swayed her head around, trying to process what she had just heard. “The remote… use it… to turn off the TV,” I said and she looked over to the ringing TV, that was still playing the test pattern.

Lassie rose her paw to a level height, the remote in her hand, then pressed the power button, effectively ending the annoying ring. With that, she simply released the TV remote and let it fall to the floor with a ‘CLACK!’

“Ugh! I think I ate too much last night,” Lassie said then burped loudly. With rub of her belly, she shook her head. “Nope, just gas,” she announced. I rolled my eyes as I squirmed around in the chair, trying to get comfortable again.

I let out a huff and arose from my slumber, stretching out with a yawn. I suppose, seeing as how we ate all the cereal last night, we should maybe, probably, conceivably go get more from the grocery mart.

Lassie staggered out of bed and began to mosey around pointlessly, with no real destination in mind as she walked circled around the living room. “We need to get some breakfast food,” I said and Lassie nodded.

“Agreed. But we can just have… SHIT!” She swore loudly. She hopped up to her hindlegs, grabbed the collar of my shirt and began to shake me. “WE’RE OUT OF CEREAL!” She screamed, like it was horrifying.

I blinked tiredly. “We can just go get more from the grocery store,” I stated and she blinked.

“Oh yeah…” she trailed off, having somehow gapped the fact that we get cereal from the grocery store. I yawned as I rubbed the eye boogers from my face.

“Come on, we’ll-“ but I was cut off by a knock at the door. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up. Whatever that was… it felt terrible.

“Lassie,” I whispered, sneaking up beside the door. Lassie followed and I pointed to the shotgun. She grabbed it and tossed it to me. I sniffed the air. Whatever it was… it smelled nothing like anything I had ever smelled before.

‘You open the door,’ I lipped and she nodded. “On three,” I whispered and she grabbed the doorknob while I readied to breach out the door, shotgun loaded and at the ready. “One,” I said and the anticipation began to make me sweat. “Two,” my heart began to race.

“THREE!”

Author's Notes:

Well, there we go, another chapter. Hopefully I can get another one out again soon. Besides the point, thanks to all you gals and guys still putting up with this horrendous story. (Okay, maybe it's not horrendous but I like to put myself down)