Saturday, May 9th, 2012,

Twilight’s perspective…

I awoke to the feel of… “Haaahhh,” I whispered out a hushed moan as a pair of wet lips suckled against my vagina. My legs tightened around the head of… “Oh sweet… ahh… Celestia,” I moaned, looking down and realizing it was Evan, in a very peculiar spot.

I noticed a bulge right by my cheek and gasped as I realized we were both in a very sexually placed position. According to the erotic novel ‘Sixty nine Shades of Neigh’ this position was called a ‘69’.

Apparently both ponies are… “Sssh,” I hissed out a whisper of pleasure as Evan continued to mouth my pussy. I cringed, my legs wrapping tightly around his head. This feeling… it felt great.

Both ponies, according to the story, were supposed to participate in something called ‘Cunnilingus,’ in which both users perform oral sex on one another. The only question I had was… why was Evan… “AHH,” I moaned a bit louder.

He wasn’t right into it, but his arms were wrapped around my waist as he continued eating me out, so to speak. As I was wondering earlier… why was he all of a sudden so intimate with me?

A sudden snore, stifled by my lower folds, answered my question. He was sleeping.

I vaguely remembered last night’s occurrences… something about him being unconscious, and then I fainted. But why were we lying like this? Another moan escaped my mouth as I felt his tongue brush up against my clitoris.

Squirming slightly, I eased off the tension my legs had around his head. My heat cycle was now just coming around, and I couldn’t stop myself; it felt so good. I did my best to keep quiet and tried not to wake him.

The bulge underneath his towel twitched slightly. My conscious told me not to, but my body’s natural urges forced away my better judgement. I gently pulled apart the lower toga folds.

I gasped from the sight of it. I had seen in several health study books what a stallion’s penis looked like, but this was so different. It was noticeably smaller, but what was strange was that it didn’t have a sheath like a stallion, nor did it have a different coloration like a stallion’s erection.

I gave it a gentle touch and Evan’s body stirred slightly. I immediately withdrew my touch. “Mmm…” I panted gently as his tongue slurped inside his mouth, brushing up against my crevice.

I wanted him so badly, but I didn’t want it to be like this. I wanted him to truly love me, not just a natural and rather primal urge.

My body quickly forced away my thoughts, telling me to touch it again. I licked my hoof to slick it up so there wouldn’t be so much friction. I gently rubbed my hoof against the top of his penis, but, as I did, a layer of skin was slid back, revealing a purple head.

“Maybe he does have a sheath,” I whispered to myself. I had never been this close to an actual penis before, and it was rather interesting. “Ahh!” I gasped as Evan tried to breathe through his mouth, creating suction on my vagina.

His snore was stifled. “How does he sleep through this?” I wondered. He had to feel something… there was no way he could… “Oooh!” I cooed, legs squirming as his tongue moved around inside his mouth, the tip running up and down my crevice.

I heard about blowjobs… apparently I was supposed to put it in my mouth and either suck or slide my head back and forth along his length, or both. I leaned my face forwards, but as I opened my mouth to encase him, his body stirred in his sleep, forcing me away in fear he may wake up.

As his body stirred, his grip around my waist tightened. My back arched as his tongue continued up and down my slit. His drool dripped down my wet pussy and mixed in with my fluids that were already accumulating.

“Oh… oh my goddess!” I moaned as he continued sleeping, his mouth offering me a pleasure that was beyond most things I had ever felt. I just wish that I didn’t have to do it this way. I wish this was something we could do together naturally.

“Ah…mmm!” I continued moaning. An irritating buzzing started flying around. I looked and saw a mosquito. I tried shooing it away, but it persisted. A building pressure in my belly took my mind away from the insect pest.

“Oh… oh my goddess!” I moaned as I started to build up for an intense orgasm. My right hindleg began to stiffen and jerk. Suddenly, without warning, Evan jerked violently, slapping the back of his neck as he awoke with fury in his eyes.

I let out a yelp of shock and I immediately took flight. He blinked several times and the look of anger quickly faded in his eyes. He brought his hand forward, flicking off a dead mosquito from his palm. His eyes fluttered as he shook off the daze he was in.

With a cluck of his tongue, and an estranged look on his face, he looked at me. “Morning mom… what are you doing down here?” he asked in curiosity. My breathing was still heavy as I was at the borderline of an orgasm.

“I-I-I…” I stammered, my eyes darting around for an excuse. My eyes quickly caught a glance of his morning erection, still at full mast. With my urges and my body tilting on the verge of an orgasm, I had the thought to just start riding his dick, scream his name while he filled my vagina with his manhood.

I began to nervously scratch the back of my ear with one of my front hooves. “Well… I uh…” With a gulp I quickly came up with a lie… kind of.

“Do you want breakfast, was all I was asking,” I blurted out, not properly piecing together a sentence. He licked his lips then clucked his tongue in bewilderment.

“Uh… ahem… huh? Yeah, uhh… right after I wash my mouth… I think I was drooling last night,” he muttered to himself. I noticed that my love juices were splattered all over his face.

‘Oh please goddess, don’t let him find out… this would be so awkward and embarrassing,’ I prayed silently.

He mumbled to himself as he licked my juices from around his lips. “Morning breath… kinda sweet actually… like honey…” He looked up to me. “Uh yeah… I could go for some waffles.”

I nodded as he proceeded towards the stairs on his way to the washroom, his erection still in full view. I shook my head in shame. “Twilight, what’s wrong with you… you shouldn’t do that to him. It isn’t right,” I scolded myself quietly.

Evan’s voice yelped from upstairs. “WOAH!” He gasped. I rushed up the stairs and saw him, staring with a pale look on his face towards the couch, where Lassie lay sprawled out and relaxing casually.

“She… it wasn’t a dream,” Evan whispered. Lassie looked over and pointed towards me with her index paw digit.

“Yo, what’s shakin’ momma?” Lassie asked in a very suave voice. I nearly fainted, then remembered last night’s occurrence. I had rushed downstairs and…

“How can you talk?” I asked and she shrugged.

“Same way you do. I open my mouth, my tongue moves appropriately, and words come out,” she informed us both.

“But… dogs can’t talk,” I countered and she shrugged.

“Well why not? Cows talk, donkeys talk… so what’s wrong with a dog talking?” she asked. I gulped… this was… implausible… impossible… insane!

“Woah… that’s crazy… Lassie can talk,” Evan muttered as he paced into the washroom.

As Evan shut the door, Lassie looked to me. “So… had a bit of the ‘bow chicka wow-wow’?” Lassie asked and I raised a brow. “You know… a little bit a ‘hubba-hubba’?” I shook my head.

First off… I wouldn’t tell anypony what just happened, and secondly… I don’t know if I felt sane talking with an animal. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied. She laughed.

“Well, your cunt is dripping wet, and his mouth had pussy juice on it, and I left you two in a sixty-nine…” Lassie quipped.

'LASSIE! That's why we were positioned like that!' I thought to myself. This wasn’t how she usually acted… why was she being so vulgar all of a sudden? “Lassie… why are you acting like this?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Two reasons actually. Firstly… the sexual innuendo between you two is really starting to annoy me. Either you’re his mom or you’re not. Don’t try to play both, it's just gonna mess him up more. Secondly, I’m in heat, but unlike you, I can keep my urges in check,” she informed me.

“I… I…” I stammered on my words, unable to think of what to say. “Evan loves me,” I told her, having no idea how that would help my argument. She just rolled her eyes.

“You know what? You love him, but you’re too shy to tell him straight. And you’re just hoping that everything turns out, right?” she asked. I blinked, unable to think of something to counter. “Well I got news for yah, princess. With him, you’re not gonna just hint at it all the time and hope he catches on. He’s dense as a mountain and built like one too… and you’re not the only one that likes him. You have to make your move before somepony else does!” she scolded me. I swallowed deep. She wasn’t very stern in her tone and was actually rather casual… but she was still lecturing me like a parent to a foal.

“And this… this…” She trailed off and started talking in a whiny and mocking voice. ‘I’m a virgin and I want our first time together to be special’,” she told me. “That attitude is gonna leave you alone and heartbroken because another mare is gonna pick him up,” Lassie quipped and I blinked.

“That… that’s personal information,” I said sternly and Lassie rolled her eyes.

“Oh let me guess… You’re going to say: I have had sexual intercourse before with a stallion,” Lassie chimed and I gulped. She had me cornered and I couldn’t think of an appropriate lie. “News flash princess… nopony who has had sex says that. They say something more like…” She trailed off and pawed the power button on the TV remote.

An explicit channel turned on, showing a mare bouncing on top of a stallion, riding atop his fully erect penis. The mare screamed in a pleasured tone that was rather loud. “Oh yes… oh… buck my pussy,” she moaned.

I quickly grabbed the remote from Lassie’s paws with my magic. “How did you get that channel? I had it blocked!” I announced as I turned off the TV. Lassie merely shrugged.

“I called the cable colts and had them unlock it,” she replied with ease. I bit my lip. She was acting out terribly, like some spoiled teen filly. But perhaps that’s because Evan always spoiled her rotten.

Lassie sighed as she leaned back, one of her paws rubbing against her swollen vulva as her tongue rolled out from her mouth and her face eases into a look of pleasure. “Listen princess… Evan is a great guy, but he’s fragile. Sure, he might be built like a brick shit-house, but he’s lived a screwed up childhood and he isn’t all there. He's got a few screws loose. You know, there’s a reason he thinks you’re his mother, and it’s not because he actually truly believes you’re his ‘real’ mother,” she told me.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Lassie sighed as she got up off the couch, a stain of her vaginal fluids on the couch where she had be masturbating… and judging by the size of the stain, I’d say she’d been masturbating for a while.

“Well… you know princess, that's actually personal. I think it’s something you should talk about with your ‘son’,” she told me. I blinked and she made for the kitchen.

“Well… how do I bring the topic up?” I asked and she smiled a heartwarming smile.

“That’s for you as a mother to find out,” she said in a very gentle way, then looked to the ground with a frown. “I’m gonna leave you to it for a little while, and if you don’t get him by tomorrow night, I will,” she stated and I gasped.

“Lassie! You know I like him. Don’t say things like that!” I scolded her, but she just scoffed at my comment.

“Listen sweetheart. You’ve had forever to do this, and you’re still where you began because you’re too sheepish to try and advance… and you seriously need an ultimatum. Besides, I’m in heat, and I’d ride his dick so hard he’d moan my name while he blew his load inside me, and my pussy would milk every last drop of it.” She was so sexually vulgar it just wasn’t proper.

“I… you wouldn’t really,” I tried to counter and she nodded.

“I would really,” she replied and I bit my lip. I had barely a day and a half. How would I do this? Lassie went to enter the kitchen but stopped once more in mid trot. “I’ll stay outta your way and leave you to it. Just woo him… oh, and tomorrow is Mother’s Day,” she explained before entering the kitchen. Oh no… this was bad… I couldn’t let Evan’s heart fall to a dog!

Evan’s perspective…

I couldn’t make it go away. This stupid erection just wouldn’t leave. There was this smell in the library... I couldn't tell what it was but it just drove me right over the edge. I had taken a shower, but my dick just kept twitching the whole time. “Shit,” I muttered as I slipped on a pair of boxers.

I went to leave but spotted the Playcolt magazine that Cheerilee had given me, hidden beneath some digest magazines. I quickly picked it out and looked at the cover, an urge to jerk off pulsing through me.

I really shouldn’t, but… I sat down on the toilet and flipped through the magazine. There were several small stories about mares and their sexual encounters. I flipped through the magazine and found a picture of an absolutely stunning mare in a very peculiar pose.

She had her head tilted to one side and her legs spread wide. Her one front hoof was tugging at her flank cheeks, but her tail was whisked up and blocked the view of her genitalia.

Her eyes were closed and it looked like she was in some sort of sexual pleasure. Her mouth appeared like she was moaning or perhaps enduring an orgasm, I couldn’t tell.

I bit my lip and used my imagination as I began to jerk off. However, I quickly learned that, no matter how I did it, thrusting into my hand, or using my hand to jerk… or both… I couldn’t build up any pleasure and blow my load to effectively end this boner.

“Goddess dammit!” I hissed as I continued to try and rid myself of this erection. Through my frustration, I heard my mother’s voice from outside. I think she was in the living room. She sounded distressed about something.

I shook my head as I continued to jerk off, but as I heard her voice, my mind visualized her, then quickly visualized her in a sexy pose just like the mare in the magazine. I bit my lip and quickly stopped. ‘That’s wrong!’ I scolded myself, but the image was burned into my imagination.

Mac’s words of wisdom returned to me. “Whatever gets yah off,” I muttered irritably. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to do this, but...

I stood up as I started jerking off, fantasizing about my mother. I bit my lips as I imagined her to be right here in the washroom with me, bent over the sink and presenting her rump to me, her tail flicked up and to the side.

Her glistening pussy was dripping wet as it contracted with anticipation, ready for me to take her. “Take me son, rut your mommy,” she pleaded. My cock twitched just from the sound of her angelic voice.

I forced the thought from my head. I couldn’t seriously be fantasizing about this, could I? It felt so wrong, yet, the more and more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of it.

I chewed a bit harder on my lower lip as the thought of rutting my mother returned. She wiggled her flank with a devious smile. “I want you inside me,” she cooed. My legs shook as I neared her rear.

Both my hands gripped around her flank. “Oooh, yes, give it to mommy. Straddle me like the naughty filly I am,” she chimed in a heavenly tone. I slowly leaned my hips forwards.

The thought of it drove the sensation of masturbation to a new height. I had an urge to actually ask my mother to do this with me. I grunted, forcing away the thought. Fantasizing about it was one thing; actually going through with it was another.

I huffed at myself in anger. I couldn’t believe I was still thinking about this.

My cock slipped into her slick pussy and I glided in with ease. Her back arched downwards as I slid into her. She moaned out in an blissful tone. “Oh yes, mommy loves you so much,” she cooed to me.

I grabbed her hips and began to slowly thrust myself in and out of her smooth, slick, heavenly vagina. “Ugh, mom,” I groaned quietly.

“Louder honey, I want you to scream my name,” she ordered me.

“Oh mom, oh you feel so good,” I said, actually saying it in real life. Her breathing picked up as she looked to me with semi-dazed eyes.

“Do you like mommy’s tight pussy?” she asked and I answered her with a grunt as I leaned into her. My body cradled over hers as I nestled my head into her neck. “Mmm, you feel so good inside me sweetie,” she whispered to me, panting with her tongue hanging out. Her hips started rocking against mine, the feel of her back rubbing against my stomach added to the pleasure I was enduring.

The pressure in my cock built up intensely to the point where I was just simmering on an-

There was a quickly knock at the door followed by it abruptly opening. The door was so close to the sink that I could nearly feel its frame passing my body, along with the body of the figure at the door. I gasped in shock, having been exposed and in the nude. “Wait!” I gasped but, as I turned, I struck my orgasmic point.

The first jet of cum sprayed out and launched towards the door. My spurt of cum laced my mother’s snout, just in front of her eyes, and my stomach twisted, ‘Oh my goddess,’ I thought, trying to push my cock down. I pushed my dick downwards, but, as I did, a second spurt of cum launched out.

Although a smaller amount, it still roped itself across my mother’s chest. ‘Oh for Celestia’s sake… I’m gonna be in so much trouble,’ I feverishly thought to myself. I finally managed to point my dick towards the ground, where my final few strands of cum launched. Some strung itself to the calves of my leg, the rest lacing the floor by my feet.

Twilight stood in shock. “Oh my goddess… mom I… I was… I thought you knew I was in here and… I uhh… I was uhh-“ I continued stuttering as I tried to think up of an excuse. I had this gut wrenching feeling that if I said ‘I was fantasizing about having sex with you,’ that the outcome would not be great.

She blinked then quickly rushed out, a blush on her cheeks, and the door slammed behind her. I dipped my head in shame. I was in a lot of trouble, I just knew it. Why the hell was I this crazed right now anyway?

The lingering smell of... whatever it was lingering around in the library that made me so horny, entered my nostrils, stronger than before.

I quickly took some toilet paper and cleaned the floor, and my leg, of my spooge. “Oh goddess, this is so embarrassing.” My gut lurched and I felt like I was going to puke. This was going to be an awkward morning breakfast.

I quickly wrapped my towel around my waist and quickly rushed down to my room and slipped on a pair of blue jeans and a white V-neck t-shirt.

I moseyed up to the kitchen, trying to think of what I could possibly say. ‘Mom, I’m sorry I was fantasizing about you then came all over your face and chest,’ I thought shamefully. I entered the kitchen with a hue of blush on my face. My mother was near the sink, her fur wet from washing off my cum. “Mom… I… I uhh… that-“ I was cut off as my mother interrupted me in a ramble of words, equally as embarrassed as I was.

“Evan, I’m so sorry I-I-I… well, that is to say that-“ Our words were just miss mashed together and we both quickly stopped. I spoke first.

“Mom, I’m so sorry. I was… well, you know… and I didn’t think you were going to come in the washroom,” I apologized and she swallowed.

“I should be the one who’s sorry. I knew you were in the washroom, and I should’ve asked if I could come inside rather than just enter.” We both stood in awkward silence.

Lassie sat on a chair at the table, her forelegs up on the table and holding a newspaper in front of her face. She quickly broke the strange silence with a completely different topic, which I was glad she brought up.

“What’s for breakfast? I could go for some waffles and milk,” Lassie said, not setting down the newspaper. The strange awkwardness soon passed as I looked to my mom and smiled.

“Well… I guess it’s waffles and milk, eh,” I said with a goofy smile. Lassie quickly chimed in, setting her newspaper down.

“Can you warm up my milk? I like it better that way,” she said and I nodded. I grabbed the waffles and quickly set them in the toaster. We could only do four waffles at a time, but that’d be alright.

Twilight quickly took out a glass pitcher and made some orange juice while, at the same time, she used her magic to set out three plates with corresponding utensils. I grabbed another plate and set it next to the toaster. As the waffles finished toasting, I’d set them on the plate and start making more.

Strangely enough, Lassie stood to her hindlegs and grabbed some cups. I had been a little surprised when I noticed that ponies could hold things in their hooves, but never once had I thought that dogs could grab things too.

She set out three glasses. “Who wants milk?” she asked and both Twilight and I looked to her. I was really feeling orange juice and I think my mother was as well. “Just me? Okay,” she said, pouring herself a glass of milk and setting it in the microwave.

The microwave had one of those see-through windows so you could watch it in action. “Ooooh!” Lassie said aloud in a sarcastically entertained tone as she watched her glass slowly spin around on the rotating plate.

The microwave binged within ten seconds, but she left the milk inside as she poured Twilight and I some orange juice and set it by our plates. I set the plate of waffles in the middle of the table, along with some syrup, and sat down. Lassie sat at my right side while my mom sat across from me.

Rays of sunlight entered through the kitchen windows and basked upon us, giving the room a warm feeling. Lassie spoke up and interrupted our silence. “Man, too bad Spikey wasn’t here. We could have breakfast together as a family,” Lassie said to us both. I nodded. Despite the terribly awkward occurrence not ten minutes ago, there was a calm and warm atmosphere right now… one that just seemed perfect.

We each took a share of waffles and began slicing them with our utensils. Even Lassie cut her waffles with an elegant grace, rather than just wolf them down. Grabbing the syrup bottle, Twilight poured herself a fair amount of syrup before passing it over to me, Lassie having not finished cutting her own waffles.

I poured myself a generous amount that was just enough for my waffles. With that, I gave it to Lassie whom poured an obscene amount, nearly flooding her plate with syrup. At one point, I thought her waffles might start floating. A memory came to mind and I laughed. Twilight and Lassie both looked to me.

“Oh sorry, it’s nothing. I just remember back in high school when people used to say I’d kick down a maple tree and suck the sap raw for breakfast.” With that, Lassie stifled a laugh and shook her head.

“Funny thing is… I'd believe that,” Lassie interjected, then pointed outside. “There’s some maple trees out there if you’d like to try,” she joked, much to the humor of us all. I began to fork pieces of syrup stained waffles into my mouth, chewing it up and downing it.

Much to my surprise, Lassie ate with an attempt to be civilized. Though after several minutes of struggling to use her utensils, she finally broke down and simply started licking the food off her plate.

I sat and ate with some sense of decent manners, though I would constantly lean my face down closer to my plate and just hoover pieces into my mouth if I couldn’t get them to stick on my fork.

Twilight simply used her magic to levitate her fork and eat her waffles with elegance and grace. ‘Wow… she’s pretty,’ I thought to myself, a beam of sparkly light gleaming down on her like a heavenly ray.

I quickly shook off the thought and realized it was just the morning sun gleaming through the window and the sparkles where just dust particles reflecting the sunlight… but she was beautiful. ‘Ugh, I have to stop thinking about her like that,’ I told myself angrily.

We all spent about a half an hour eating breakfast together, and like Lassie stated, it was really nice.

With that, we all simply set our dirty dishes in the sink, leaving them for later. I made my way up to the balcony and flipped out a lawn chair then leaned back in it, soaking up Celestia’s sunrays.

I suppose I should try and tan my body as a whole rather than leave my t-shirt on, but… meh. Several moments later, Lassie sat by my side, panting heavily as she leaned into my thigh. It was strange with her talking. Well, at least now she could easily speak her mind.

She plopped her head on my lap and I began to rub her head. “How’s it going Lassie?” I asked and she yawned.

“Pretty good actually. Could you scratch behind my ears?” she asked and I did just that. She let out a comforted sigh, still panting happily "Yeah, just like that." Another few seconds past and Twilight took a seat next to me. Things were silent… well, minus the town’s sounds echoing through the air, but it was still rather peaceful.

I began to close my eyes for longer durations of time. As I began to doze off, I began thinking of Derreck. I don’t quite remember the first time we met, but I remember the moment our friendship together really took off. I smiled slightly as I remembered that moment while I dozed off…

Summer 2002…

I was barely seven at the time, having just passed first grade. My mother had moved out of my grandma's house in the country and into the city, dragging me along with her despite my pleas to stay out in the country.

Not even a few days into living here, I began doing pretty bad things. I got involved with a gang of kids because… well, you were either with them, or not safe. We didn’t do really bad things like deal drugs or kill, but we still did bad things like smash stuff and vandalism.

Before this, when I lived in the country, I was a good kid. Hell, one would’ve called me a goody-two-shoes, but not any more.

I ran along frightfully, thinking to myself how much trouble I’d be in if that man chasing me caught me. That was a stupid idea to begin with, and I don’t remember why I chose to do it, despite only doing it a few seconds ago.

I ran into an open area that had a playground and two dumpsters that were surrounded by a seven foot wooden fence. “Oh no!” I gasped. I had nowhere to hide. No matter where I went, that man would find me. I could try to hop the fence that surrounded the dumpsters and hide in there, but by the time I managed to get over them, he’d have seen me.

The kid I knew as Derreck rushed past me, shocking me from his sudden arrival. Slapping me on the shoulder, he began pulling me along. “Come on dude, this way,” he said, bringing me over to the dumpster fence. You couldn’t quite see through it since the fence had some weird layer system to it.

The man’s screaming started to near the corner of the building I had just come from. In a matter of seconds, he’d be here… and I’d be in a ton of trouble. “Boost me up!” Derreck ordered.

“What?!” I gasped.

“Give me a boost!” he hissed. Without another word I did as he said, cupping my hands and boosting him over the fence. Derreck rolled over the top off the fence and fell down to the other side.

The man’s voice was just behind the corner of the building. “What about me?!” I gasped, thinking perhaps he had just left me to fend for myself. Suddenly, before I could even blink, he leaned over the top of the fence and reached down. I reached my hands up and jumped. He grabbed my hands, flung me over the top of the fence and into the open dumpster, which was full of smelly garbage.

Pulling me under some rancid trash bags, he put his hand over my mouth. “Sssh! Don’t say anything,” Derreck ordered and I nodded silently, fear in my eyes. The screaming and furious man started yelling closer and closer. Derreck put his finger to his lips, motioning me to be silent before lying next to me under some trash bags.

“Where’d you go you little fuckers?! When I get my hands on you, I’m gonna kick your fucking asses!” he roared. Through the clearances between the bags, there was a small crevice that I could barely peek through, and I looked up to the top of the fence.

“I know you’re around here you little shits! I'm gonna fucking rip you in half!” he yelled. Both Derreck and I lay motionless, trying not to breath. The man peeked up over the fence and I bit hard on my lower lip to make sure I didn’t scream.

If he somehow saw us, we’d be dead. The man looked then cursed before running off, still yelling. After a few minutes or so, we both got out from the dumpster, reeking of garbage.

“Whew! That was close. Hey, good job kid, almost thought we were screwed for a second there,” Derreck laughed happily.

I sighed a deep exhale. “I thought you were going to leave me behind,” I told him my thoughts from before, but he just shook his head seriously and gave my shoulder a loving punch.

“Nah, we’re like brothers man, and brothers look out for each other, always. No matter what.” I nodded and he smiled. “Hey man, we should chill again soon, you’re pretty cool.”

I nodded and sniffed myself. I reeked, but I wouldn’t be able to bathe until later. My mother had locked me out for the day and wouldn’t let me back in until dinner. “Man… I stink,” I muttered and Derreck smiled.

“It’s okay. Some guy down the street has his sprinkler watering his garden. We’ll just go wash off there,” he offered. I smiled with a nod.

“Okay,” I said happily. I was glad he had a plan because I previously had no idea how I’d get the smell off.

Present day…

I awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up and startling my mother. “Evan?! Are you okay?” she asked worriedly. I let out a few heavy and quick breaths before realizing it was just an old memory.

“Yeah, fine… just remembering old times,” I stated and she raised a brow.

“Scary ones?” she asked, but I shook my head.

“No, not really,” I responded and laughed, remembering that time. I don’t quite remember what it was I did to piss that guy off… but boy oh boy, if Derreck hadn’t been there, I’d have been in a shitload of trouble.

“What was it about?” she asked. I quickly gave her the rundown. “Wait… why would your mother lock you out?” she asked and I chuckled with embarrassment.

“Well… you see. I lived in an apartment building complex with three floors. And our apartment living quarters had four or five rooms. The kitchen, the living room, two private rooms, a bathroom, and the water heater room… so I guess six rooms. Anyway, my mother had all her marijuana plants in the water heater room and was like… I guess the drug dealer of our building. So when I wasn’t at school, she’d kick me out for the day and deal weed to the other people in the building. Basically they’d kick their kids out too while they went to my mom and bought weed, and because our building had a dumb security lobby the only way inside the apartment was to get our parents to buzz us in, or to try and get in through the patio doors, which they always locked,” I informed her.

“That’s awful!” she gasped and I just laughed.

“Yeah. It wasn’t a great neighbourhood to grow up in. It wasn’t a shitty slum, and some of the parents were actually pretty nice, but… a lot of them weren’t,” I laughed.

“So what about when there was bad weather?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“Well, in the winter time it wasn’t so bad because she’d let me stay inside… probably because the other parents weren’t smoking weed in their house during the winter. But in the summer time, unless it was a bad lightning storm, I’d probably be stuck outside until supper time. But at least it was fun to play in the puddles,” I informed her.

“A parent shouldn’t act like that,” she told me and I just yawned.

“Yeah, well… what can you do, right? At least with all the other parents kicking their kids out so they could get high, I had others to play with.” I smiled, those were some good times… despite the fact I was doing bad things.

“Can we change the subject please? I don’t think I want to hear about your mother anymore,” Twilight asked.

“But why not? You’re a great mommy,” I stated, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek. She blushed, then shook her head, a tear forming in her eye.

“I meant your real mother. If you plan on having a child, you shouldn’t act like that,” Twilight said, despised with my real mother.

“Oh, well… I was actually an accident,” I stated and she raised an eyebrow. “Yeah… I don’t know what exactly happened, but I guess her and my dad didn’t use a condom when she was drunk… and didn’t know she got pregnant. So she was binge drinking and doing drugs and all that shit, then after about like… six months, she realized ‘Oh, I’m not getting fat, I’m pregnant’,” I laughed to myself as I shook my head. “It’s probably why I’m so screwed up,” I joked and Twilight gasped.

“You are not screwed up. You’re a wonderful person. And your mother… let’s just forget about it,” she stated and I nodded.

“I’ve been trying to do that for a long time, believe me,” I laughed. With a deep exhale, I shook off the thoughts of my real mother. She wasn’t always bad… but a severe majority of the time she was, leaving me scarred in more ways than one.

I smiled. “So what should we talk about?” I asked, trying to bring up a different topic.

“Just something else, please, anything else,” she pleaded.

“How about your parents?” I asked.

Twilight smiled. “Oh, they were good to me. They would sometimes go out for vacations and leave me with my foalsitter, but they always cherished me, loved me and…” She trailed off. “I’m sorry. It probably makes you feel depressed… me talking about my parents like that,” she apologized sincerely.

I shook my head. “No, please, go on,” I offered, leaning my head back and listening about what loving parents were like.

“Well… when I was rather young, they realized my potential and brought me to a special school meant specifically for talented unicorns. I almost flunked it, but… well, it’s a long story about what exactly happened. The short story is that a loud boom shocked me and I let out a blast of magic that stunned all who had seen it and impressed Princess Celestia herself. She then took me as her faithful student. After that, I started seeing less and less of my parents,” she informed me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ramble on like that,” Twilight apologized, wiping a tear from her eye.

Truth be told, we had only visited her parents the one time since I had come here. “I’m… it’s okay Twilight. I like hearing you ramble on. It’s beautiful,” I offered my peace of mind to her. She nodded.

Lassie suddenly pitched up. “You ever have a fillyfriend… or whatever it was back on your world?” she asked and I raised an eyebrow.

“What? Lassie, I already told you this story. Besides, it’s short, really short,” I told her and she smiled.

“I know, but I love hearing it,” Lassie replied. I rolled my eyes with a scoff.

“No. I never had a girlfriend. End of story,” I told her.

“Because?” she inquired. I knew she was toying with me. She already did this before.

“Because I didn’t, alright?” I told her.

“Because?” she asked, irritating me slightly.

“Because… I just didn’t, okay?” I told her.

Twilight pitched in. “Well… why exactly?” she asked, interested in the topic.

“Oh great… see what you’ve started Lassie?” I asked. I sighed, looking to my mother. “You really want to hear it? It’s pretty boring and short,” I offered.

“Is it painful memories? I wouldn’t want to do that to you,” she offered and I shook my head.

“Just boring. I just… never took an interest in a girl’s look alone. I was more of a… personality guy, if you will. A girl couldn’t just fluff her hair and flutter her eyes at me, then get me to do something for her like she could all the other guys. Problem was, I didn’t go looking for a relationship either, and all the girls around school just tried for looks, ‘cause that’s what all the guys went for. And the girls that did believe that beauty was more than skin deep … they were probably terrified of me. I guess I did look the part of a killer… shaved head, camouflage, didn’t talk much to others… a crazy,” I laughed.

“So… you’ve never… had a relationship before?” she asked and I shook my head.

“Nope, never,” I said proudly with a nod. “I suppose I could’ve with one of the girls that tried more for looks, but… bah, that wasn’t my style anyway,” I said truthfully.

“Did you ever have any girls offer?” she asked and I nodded.

“Well yeah, lots, but… I didn’t realize until one of my buddies would slap me upside the head and tell me she wanted my dick…” I trailed off with a chuckle. “But that’s okay with me. I take pride in being a virgin,” I told her and she raised an eyebrow.

“You do?” she asked and I nodded.

“Well sure. Most guys, if they could, lost theirs closer to grade nine, but I didn’t because I could keep it in my pants. Hell, I didn’t even masturbate…” I trailed off and furrowed my brow. “Which led to some pretty bad testosterone problems... But all these other guys were like, ‘Yeah I fucked this broad last night, blah-blah-blah,’ and I’d be like: Yeah well, I can keep it in my pants if a girl waves her ass in my face,” I said proudly. “I kinda believed it to be an achievement but… well, most everyone else didn’t.”

She blinked, I guess shocked by my statement. “I… I didn’t know you had that outlook on life,” she said, thinking to herself. “What do you think about relationships now?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Well… I don’t know really. I’ve never went and actively looked for a relationship… and when I first got here, the thought of relationships with a pony never even crossed my mind but… well, I don’t know. I suppose if a nice mare did come along, I might settle down… maybe. Ah, who am I kidding? I’ll probably live alone in the mountains with my dog, right Lassie?” I asked, scratching the back of her ears.

She panted heavily, slobber dripping off the end of her tongue. Twilight spoke up again. “Well, say you were looking. What would you be looking for exactly?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, leaning back and closing my eyes. “They’d just have to be… nice, and really easy going in life,” I said, and that was that.

“Is that it?” she asked and I nodded. “Well… would she have to be really pretty?” I shook my head.

“Nah. In life, I set my standard bar really low and leave it there, that way I’m rarely disappointed,” I chuckled. It was a good take on life too.

“That’s it?” she asked and I nodded.

“Yeah, but that’ll probably never happen,” I offered and she was shocked by my comment.

“Why not?” I just rolled my shoulders in a shrug.

“Just because,” I said. She went to say something else but fell silent, probably realizing it was useless to ask why, seeing as how even I didn’t have the proper answer. “So how ‘bout you?” I asked.

“Me?” she asked and I nodded.

“Ever have any coltfriends?” I asked, but her answer took me by a bit of a surprise.

“No… not really. I had a crush or two when I was young, but they never went anywhere. When I was Celestia’s faithful student and a librarian, my social life was very small, if that,” she told me, then fell silent. “I did… have a harboring crush on Flash Sentry, but-“ I cut her off quick, remembering her father telling me how he played her.

“It’s okay. I know, your dad told me,” I said, then quickly bit my lip, hopping I hadn't crossed the line by accident. She nodded but continued on anyway.

“We flirted together and he led me on like he liked me too, but… then I found out he was already in a relationship… and I don’t want that to happen ever again,” she said in a depressed tone.

“Well, I hope you find a good stallion who will take care of you and love you. You deserve it,” I offered and she nodded quietly.

A memory resurfaced. “I remember a long time ago, I was at my cousin-in-law’s and his cousin was there. So I guess it would be like… my second cousin-in-law… anyway, she made it bluntly obvious that she wanted me,” I began.

“What happened?” Twilight asked, interrupting me.

“Well… basically she went on like: You know we’re not technically cousins, so it wouldn’t be incest. Stuff like that. So anyway, she had this boyfriend at the time, but about two hours into meeting me she told him it was over. I guess she figured that… well, I don’t know.” I laughed and Twilight looked to me.

“What happened between you two? I thought you said you never had a relationship?” Twilight asked and I nodded.

“I never did. I knew she was one of those girls that would screw over a guy the moment she met another one, so I played her on the whole night like I was interested, saying that I’d get condoms and stuff… then at like midnight, I was like: Yeah, it’s not happening.” As soon as I said that, Lassie laughed loudly, clapping her paws together in humor.

“Oh my goddess! That’s priceless! Oh, I bet she was sooo pissed!” Lassie commented, laughing all the while, and I nodded.

“Yeah… needless to say she wasn’t happy. The second time I was around, she was always giving me a cold glare and when I said hello, she responded with: Oh, I remember you, you’re that flaming fagot. You even dress like one.” I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Oh my,” Twilight replied and I nodded. “I don’t know if that would’ve been the best thing to do Evan,” she told me but I shrugged.

“Well… probably not, but, like I said, she was one of those girls that’d screw over a guy the moment she met another one,” I replied and Lassie nodded.

“She sounds like a cunt,” Lassie added in and I just shrugged.

“Well, I remember her telling my cousin that her new boyfriend was ‘A real man' because 'He drove a big truck,’ and my cousin asked what kind of truck and she said a Ford Ranger.” I chuckled.

Twilight tilted her head to the side. “What’s a Ford Ranger?” she asked and I rolled my eyes.

“A car with a box on it…” I sighed and gave the vehicle its due. “I suppose they’re technically nice because they mix a fuel efficient four cylinder engine of a car with the ability to carry things like a truck… but they’re really small, and they're hard to fit into to,” I told her.

“Oh… I… I don’t really understand,” she commented.

“Well, anyway, she said that her new boyfriend was a real man because he drove a big truck… despite it being way smaller than mine. So my cousin said to her that my truck was way bigger and she said, ‘Well Evan’s just a faggot that needs to compensate’…” I trailed off, laughing to myself.

“What do you mean, ‘compensate’?” Twilight asked curiously, unfamiliar with the term.

“Well… I’m not sure exactly how it works, but apparently guys who have trucks are just compensating for their small penis size,” I informed her and she furrowed her brows.

“I don’t get it. How does that work?” she asked and I shrugged.

“I don’t know either, but… regardless, she hated me a lot after that night,” I said.

“What you did wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but I suppose if that’s how she acted, then it was bound to happen eventually,” she said. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, well… I wasn’t the greatest person back in the day,” I replied.

“The past doesn’t matter Evan. We can only learn from it, we can’t change it. I don’t know what you were like a long time ago, but you’re a good man now. And that’s all that matters,” she told me.

“Funny, I thought there was a story about you going back in time after a panic about the end of the world, then it turned out you were just scaring yourself trying to tell yourself nothing would happen,” I replied and she blushed.

“That’s not what I meant,” she mumbled and I laughed, then gave her a kiss on the forehead before lying back down and closing my eyes.

“I know what you meant, and thank you. It means a lot,” I said with a smile. Afterwards, despite not being an awkward or awful topic, there was a long silence in which we both just laid there, tanning in the sun. Well, I wasn’t sure if ponies tanned.

After what must’ve been hours, I felt a little on the hot side. “Hmm… wanna go to the lakeside?” I asked. Lassie was the first to answer.

“Oh yeah,” she replied, hopping up and wagging her tail, then barking several times. Twilight awoke from her nap. I guess she had been dozing without me knowing. With a stretch and a yawn, she nodded.

“I could go to the lake and relax for a while, that would be kind of nice and refreshing actually,” she offered. I smiled and stood up, then went to fetch a few towels.

Twilight made her way downstairs while Lassie followed me. My faithful, and now speaking, canine companion panted excitedly. “Daww, who’s a good girl Lassie? You are, yeah, you are,” I said in a bubbly voice and she barked before talking back.

“You know… it’s cute and all, but it’s also kinda creepy when you talk to me like that,” Lassie informed me and I just rolled my eyes, then leaned down to kiss her forehead. She quickly jerked her head to the side and lathered my face with dog kisses.

I folded some towels over my shoulder and walked back outside, where Twilight was waiting. “Aren’t you going to bring some shorts or something? Pants aren’t exactly swimwear,” she suggested but I shrugged.

“I can swim in my pants. I've done it before,” I replied. She facehoofed with a bemused exhale. We walked out the front doors and to my truck. I opened the passenger door and tossed the towels in the back, then offered Lassie residence in the back seat.

“Hey! Why can’t I ride shotgun?” she asked and I rolled my eyes.

“Because Twilight’s bigger and… oh to hell with it, you can ride in the front too,” I stated, rolling the passenger seat back into place before flipping up the middle console box to reveal the sixth seat.

With a happy bark, Lassie jumped up and circled around the middle seat before sitting down on her flank. I offered Twilight my hand to help her get in, which she graciously took.

As she got in, her tail fluffed, its end slowly sliding up my chest, around my neck, and wisping itself under my chin, almost as if she was taunting me in a way. I shivered from the feel of it. As she sat down, I closed the door with a gentle slam, making sure it was all the way shut.

I paced around to the driver side and stepped in with ease. Shutting the door, I swiped the naughty key, getting a twin set of beeps as my response. “Oh… I know Cadence. You love it when I do that to you, don’t you?” I asked in a sly voice and began to grope at the steering wheel. “Do you like it when I do this?” I asked, slipping the key into the ignition.

I began caressing the steering column casing, but Twilight interrupted me. “What are you doing?” she asked and I stuttered on my words.

“I… well… I was just, uhm…” I trailed off and quickly started the truck. Rather than race to our destination, I drove at a rather relaxing pace.

Lassie started messing around in the truck, shifting and moving around. “I want the window seat!” Lassie chimed at Twilight like some kid riding on a school bus. Lassie squirmed overtop Twilight and pawed at the control panel on the passenger side.

Looking back to me, she began barking at me before sputtering out words. “Roll down the window, man! I wanna feel that breeze rushing through my fur!” she announced. I just rolled my eyes as I used the driver side master control panel to roll down her window.

She leaned most of her upper body out the window. “YEAH BUDDY! I’M LIVIN’ THE DREAM!” she yelled out at random ponies in the street. Ponies were astounded by the talking dog, some probably believing it to be some kind of prank.

We drove by Fluttershy and Lassie pointed out to her. “HEY FLUTTERS! I’M HIGH ON LIFE BABY! WOOOO!” she screamed and Fluttershy’s face went pale. I suppose she had never actually seen a dog talk.

Lassie started to hum a tune to herself as we puttered along. Eventually we exited Ponyville and drove through a dirt path that led through the middle of a valley. The sun shone through the trees, glimmering shadows spread out throughout the valley we drove through.

Twilight shuffled closer to me, resting her head against my shoulder. Flipping out my aviators, I slipped them over my eyes. Cadence chugged a low rumble as we drove through the shady valley.

Shadows passed over my face as we drove along. Twilight closed her eyes as she rested against me. Lassie just sat with her face out the window, humming her tune. The passing air caught the flaps of her mouth and slobber was sucked out as she sat with a wide grin, lips flapping in the wind.

We eventually exited the valley and neared the lake. I pulled up and parked Cadence under the shadow of a tree. I opened my door but Lassie simply squirmed out the open window and landed with a ‘thump!’

It was a little bit of a jump from the window to the ground. I simply rolled my eyes in a bemused way while I shook my head. Lassie began racing around the waterfront, which in some spots had beach sand.

I helped Twilight out from Cadence and shut the door behind us. As we neared the beach, I kicked off my boots and took off all my clothes but my boxers, tossing everything onto my boots. Lassie rushed past us, zoomed up a rock formation near the water, and didn’t stop.

Her body flew into the air and she smiled wide, one of her teeth gleaming in the sun. Gliding through the air, her front legs extended as if she were actually flying and she let out a cheer, "I'm fly-". She landed in the water with a small splash and quickly surfaced, her hair draping over her eyes.

I snickered and Lassie laughed loud enough that we could hear. She began paddling around, somehow able to see through her wet fur that draped over her face. I approached the water with my mother and paced by the water.

“Hey Lassie, what’s the water like?” I asked.

“Come in and see,” she teased. I had a feeling that was either to conceal the fact it was cold or… she was just teasing me. I took a step into the water. It was on the warm side.

Twilight followed and we entered the lake. Lassie swam over and began humming the ‘Jaws’ tune. I chuckled just as she ducked under then leapt out of the water, yelling out the climatic tune of the theme, splashing against me and trying to tackle me.

She stood up to all fours, the waterline just at her belly as she leaned against my legs. I leaned forwards a bit so I could pat her side while she panted happily. After another few moments, Lassie trotted back up onto the beach sand and flopped down, resting her head between her paws and yawning exhaustively.

I walked out a bit further into the water, relieved by the peace of mind it brought. The warm water along with the tropical temperature and overall calmness brought about tranquility in the atmosphere.

Twilight managed to walk on her hindlegs through the water and to my side. “It’s wonderful,” she spoke softly and I nodded. The sun was starting to lower in the distant horizon, and its glimmering reflection added a truly beautiful look to the lake.

“Yeah, it really is something,” I replied. She slowly walked around and in front of me.

“Can you hold me? It’s sort of hard to stay standing on my hindlegs like this,” she asked. I did as requested and took her into a gentle hold. My hands held her around the front of her stomach, my hands resting where her bellybutton would be if she was a human. She slowly placed her hooves over my hands and sighed contently.

The lake’s waves gently brushed up against us as we stood there, swaying back and forth in each other’s embrace. The moment seemed to last forever and, truthfully, I didn’t want it to end. A flock of birds flew overhead and Lassie called out.

“Hey guys, look out! They might shit on you,” she called out, ruining the moment. I couldn’t help but laugh though, and Twilight looked up to see the flock flying high above us. “Hey, come on back here, you’re missing the best part,” Lassie called out.

We looked back to her, both wondering what she was referring to. A devious smile came across my face as I pulled Twilight up and out of the water, cradling her in my arms as I quickly rushed us back to shore. She let out a thrilled giggle as we splashed through the water foolishly.

Twilight giggled in my arms as the water splashed around us. As we reached the shoreline, I looked to Lassie. “What are we about to miss?” I asked, setting my mother down on all fours.

Lassie had pulled up two lawn chairs and a small table between them. She pointed to the distance. I turned, seeing nothing in particular. “What?” I asked, Twilight looking too.

“The sunset, yah goons,” Lassie quipped. At first I was a little bit less than thrilled about the thought of watching the sunset. I had done that before, and it wasn’t that great. But as Twilight sat down, she motioned for me to join her side.

As I sat down, Twilight offered me her hoof, which I took in a gentle hold, using my thumb to rub it lovingly. Lassie set up two wine glasses and poured us each a beverage. “I don’t drink,” I told her, but my canine simply rolled her eyes.

“I know. That’s why I brought soda. Besides, you’re the only one who can really drive that truck, and I don’t want you driving it intoxicated,” she said, speaking words of wisdom that I didn’t believe she had. For some reason I figured her to be a little more on the immature side.

I took my glass while Twilight levitated hers. Lassie sat beside me, mouth open in a smile as she panted gently, tongue hanging out. The sun gleamed off the water, its orange-ish haze a testament to the sheer beauty of this afternoon.

Twilight, Lassie and I sat watching the sun set, and unlike the sunset I had watched when I was younger, this one was more fulfilling. The peaceful setting, the beautiful orange haze, and spending time with my loving family… it doesn’t get much better than that.

Over an hour passed as we just sat there in silence, watching the sun set over the horizon. As the last glimpse of the sun set, it left a lingering red atmosphere. The clouds themselves reflected the lighting, adding an almost spooky look to the world.

“Well,” I said with a groan, standing up and stretching my legs. Though most of my body was dry from sitting out so long, the bottom side of my boxers were still soaked. “I think that was a day well spent,” I said, folding up my chair.

“Indeed,” Twilight added in, standing and folding her chair as well. I slipped on my clothes and groaned quietly as I felt the wetness from my boxers dampen my pants. Lassie was about to say something, then squealed in delight.

“OH MY GODDESS! I almost forgot!” she yipped and I raised an eyebrow.

“Almost forgot what?” I asked curiously.

"I wanted to go see it yesterday, but you were working. Can we please go see it tonight?! It looks like such a good movie! Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" my canine friend asked, forgetting to tell me what the movie was.

“What movie?” I inquired.

“The Brains!” Lassie said excitedly, but Twilight just groaned. I looked over to her; she didn’t seem thrilled by the idea.

“What’s wrong?” I asked my mother.

“It’s the highly anticipated movie that just came out yesterday. Apparently it’s some sort of horror movie about alien bra-“ Twilight began but was cut short but Lassie.

“SSSH! Don’t tell him. Please, can we pretty please go see it?! Super pretty please cherry with whipped cream on top please?!” Lassie pleaded ecstatically. I guess she really wanted to go see that movie.

“Well… I guess we could,” I offered. Lassie let out a cheer, but Twilight just sighed. “Something wrong?” I asked the latter and she just shook her head.

“No, not really. I’m just not good with horror movies at this time of the day. They usually leave me plagued with nightmares,” she responded and I just shrugged.

“Oh come on. It could be fun,” I offered and she just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, maybe just this once.” She didn’t sound thrilled about it, but like I said, it could be fun. I set the table and chairs in the back of Cadence’s box and laid towels on the seats so we wouldn’t soak the cushion furnishing inside the truck.

The whole ride back to Ponyville, Lassie couldn’t stop squirming in excitement, going on and on about how great this movie was supposed to be. Twilight, on the other hand, didn’t seem overly happy about it. I kinda felt bad, dragging her along but family time is priceless.

I parked the truck around back of the movie theater, which was a little small and probably only housed two or three movies at a time. The moment we entered the building, the smell of buttery popcorn aroused my senses and my stomach rumbled.

“Ohh… I’m hungry,” I muttered as we approached the ticket booth. Lassie’s tail was wagging like a helicopter rotor, any faster and she could probably send herself airborne. Lassie hopped up, placing her front two paws against the ticket booth counter.

“Three tickets to ‘The Brains’!... please,” Lassie added in the last part in a polite manner, but the ticket master gulped.

“Gah! That dog can talk!” he gasped and Lassie rolled her eyes.

“Hey man, are you gonna give us those tickets or what?! The movie’s about to start!” she said in a rushed voice. I looked to the sign that displayed the movie times, then to my watch and realized she was right. Our movie started in three minutes.

The ticket master nodded and quickly typed it up. “That’ll be twenty bits,” he informed her. Lassie looked to me.

“You pay him. I got no pockets for money,” she said, tail still wagging. I pulled out twenty bits and handed them over. He replaced my bits with three movie tickets.

“Theatre number one,” the stallion informed us, but instead I moved towards the snacks counter where a stallion and a young mare tended to the needs of ponies.

There was a large menu displayed, showing the prices of everything they had. “Nachos… we need to get some nachos,” I muttered to myself.

“And some extra buttered popcorn… with a large soda,” Lassie chimed in, licking her lips in anticipation. Twilight smiled from our silliness.

“What do you want?” I asked my mother as we all stepped up to the counter. Twilight thought to herself as she glanced across the menu board.

“I think I’d like…” She trailed off with a ‘hmm’. “I’d like a small popcorn, no butter, and a bottle of water, please,” she ordered.

I ordered next. “Can I have some nachos, a large pop, and a large popcorn with butter please,” I ordered. The stallion wrote it down and went to check it in but Lassie piped up.

“And I’d like an extra-large popcorn that's lathered with lots and lots of butter. And I mean lathered like..." Lassie began making erratic movements as she motioned like she was pouring ludicrous amounts of butter on her popcorn. "I’d also like a large soda please,” she ordered and the stallion blinked then checked it through. I paid the bill and we waited a few moments for them to fetch our order.

The stallion leaned towards the young mare. “That dog can talk,” he whispered and she nodded in reply.

“I know. And look, that’s the hairless monkey that’s Princess Sparkle’s faithful student.” They continued to gossip, mostly about how a princess was in their theater. After another minute or so, they returned with our stuff.

Twilight looked to Lassie, who somehow held her soda in one paw while holding her bag of popcorn, overflowing with butter, in her teeth. “You know Lassie, sugar is bad for a dog.” Twilight informed her. Lassie muttered back, the popcorn bag muffling her voice.

“Yeah? Well yer fat,” Lassie quipped and Twilight gasped.

“I am not!” she exclaimed as we entered the theater doors, Lassie only snickering. The place was just starting to dim down as we ascended to the top row of seats. Surprisingly, there were only a few ponies in the theater.

We took our seats, setting our drinks in the little cup holders that were integrated into the foreleg rests. Only Lassie couldn’t fit her overly sized drink into the cup holder due to its bulky size. She set it between her hindpaws on the ground and began munching on the soggy popcorn.

The movie screen… actually it was one of those projection screens with the projector behind everypony, played commercial after commercial. Lassie leaned over to me. “Don’t you hate it when there’s like… ten minutes of commercials before the movie?” she asked and I nodded.

“I know what you’re talking about,” I replied with a quiet laugh. Finally, the commercials came to a close and the movie began, first crediting all the production companies associated with the movie itself.

As the movie began, there was an ominous tune that played in the background as the camera panned around a view of the stars. One of the stars glimmered and finally came shooting at the camera but missed. The view swiveled in place and followed the path of the asteroid as it shot towards the planet.

The setting suddenly changed to black and white, overlooking a city from the view of a forested cliff. A convertible motorized carriage sat near the overlook, with two ponies inside the vehicle.

“I don’t know Maple… maybe we shouldn’t,” said a very feminine voice as the camera moved in on the vehicle. Everything was still black and white.

“Oh come on baby, it’ll be fun. I promise,” pleaded a teenage male voice. The camera switched to a dashboard view of the vehicle, showing a young stallion in a football, or I guess in Equestria it would be hoofball, jacket as he leaned towards a mare wearing an old-school looking skirt.

“It’s just that… well… I’ve never done something like this before,” she said timidly and the stallion rested his hoof beneath her chin, lifting it so they were face to face.

“It’s okay sweetie. I’ll show you how,” he replied and they leaned in for a kiss and began making out. Lassie leaned over to me again.

“What a way to start a movie huh?” she asked and I nodded with a short, stifled laugh that left through my nostrils. Twilight sat quietly, already enticed by the movie. Suddenly, a meteor slammed into the ground a few yards away from them.

Despite being rather large, the meteor gave no shockwave from impact, simply making a crater. “What was that?” the mare gasped and the stallion just looked back.

“Just a meteor babe. Don’t worry about it,” he told her then tried to resume making out, but she wouldn’t go for it. I thought to myself, ‘Yeah, just a meteor that mystically struck the ground a few yards away from us… nothing to worry about.’

“I don’t know… maybe we should investigate,” she suggested, but the stallion merely groaned.

“It’s nothing, trust me,” the stallion told her. She was hesitant at first, but the stallion quickly made his move on her. They began kissing again and he started pulling up on the end of her skirt, showing views of her bare hindlegs as he pulled the skirt up and began aligning himself to nail her.

The view cut away from the car at the moment just before it would’ve shown explicit footage, and cut to a view behind the car. Amplified sounds of their kissing and moaning echoed from the carriage as it started to tilt every so often.

Suddenly there was a squelching sound and the camera started to move forwards almost as if we were watching from the view of some creature. Gross looking tentacle legs flopped around in front of the screen… I suppose that was supposed to be this creature’s legs.

Lassie was digging into her popcorn, the slimy butter from her treat greasing the fur around her mouth. Twilight watched the movie with her fullest of attention, biting her lip.

The camera point of view climbed the back of the car just before the view switched to that of the dashboard. The two ponies were entwined together and completely nude, but the camera used a catchy angle so that nothing was exposed as they got it on in the carriage.

Suddenly a shadow of a creature with demon red eyes came into view. The stallion turned with a scream as the camera jumped to the creature. The creature leapt at the screen with a frightening screech. The screen went black.

Twilight jerked in fright and cuddled into me fearfully. I’ll admit, I jumped a little too. That thing looked kinda freaky, plus you didn’t even really get to see the whole thing, just its shadow. On top of that, the screech it made was darkly unique.

As the screen faded back into lighting, it started to play a theme tune while it showed swirls of scientific stuff as the camera view sped along: test vials, needles, all those sorts of things. I listened to the intro. 'I know I've heard that somewhere before...' As the intro panned along, I realized it was traveling along what I believed to be an interpretation of a brain neural network… I think.

Finally, the brain network path came to an end and two big words slammed into view in dark gooey pink letters; ‘The Brains’, and little squiggles of what looked like brain tentacles squirmed off the ends of each letter. This was going to be a goofy horror movie, I could already tell…

Hours later…

We arrived back home and I opened the door to the dark library, leaving the lights off. While admitting the movie was good, Twilight wasn’t much of a horror movie pony and showed it true during most parts of the movie when she’d let out a yelp of fear and bury her face into me.

Contrary to my first belief, the movie wasn’t as goofy as I first thought it would be. Sure, the voice actors were really bland and had nearly no physical or verbal emotion whatsoever, but that just added to the greatness of the movie. It felt really 50s esque. And the story line was rather well thought out along with the jumper scenes, which really got me at times. I mean, when somepony goes to enter a closet, you'd figure the thing to be in the closet. But when there's nothing in the closet and they turn around to see a pony screech at the screen with a creepy alien brain suckling on his head... it's kinda freaky.

Lassie absolutely loved the movie, but now she was slugging it since she had indulged in so much popcorn and soda. “Ugh… I have a belly ache,” Lassie groaned as she slowly crawled up onto a living room chair.

My mind could barely operate properly, and my vision was foggy from the exhaustion I was going through. Twilight was already resting up against me, just barely conscious. I flopped down on the couch and she followed, landing on top of me.

Her body rested on top of mine, now fully passed out. I kicked off my boots and wiggled off my socks as my vision started to sway from side to side. My left arm reached up and around my mother’s back while my right arm dangled off the edge of the couch. My left leg hung over the edge of the couch, my body being to long, while my right leg hung off the couch my like my arm.

“What a day,” I mumbled, and the last thing I remembered was wishing that the couch was a pullout bed.

Author's Notes:

And once again *Sighs* it takes a month for a chapter to be released because... well, shit happens I guess. Anyway, here's a piece from the next chapter.

I felt like I was tongue tied. "M-m-mom... I-I-I-" She cut me off by connecting our lips again, this time for longer. As she pulled away, a strand of saliva connected our mouths.
"It's okay," she whispered into my ear, licking at my neck. My back arched as I gasped from the sensual act.
"Ah-h... but isn't this a...ah... a little... t-t-taboo?" I stammered nervously.
"We won't tell anypony," she offered, licking up my cheek and nibbling gently on my earlobe.//

Yeah, the next chapter is the one where they finally get it on.