Tuesday, May 5th, 2014…

I awoke from what could be considered sure death as I felt my body being dragged along some shoreline sand. I coughed viciously as water in my lungs threatened to drown me. “Take it easy, you’ll live,” said an all too familiar voice.

The hand dragging me by the hind neck of my duster coat released me. A large man stepped beside me then knelt down and pulled away the shoulder of my duster coat. “Bullet went right through,” he muttered.

“Der… Derreck… ACH, GAH!” I began coughing up water and he rolled me to my side.

“Easy… take it easy… bullet went right through your shoulder,” he informed me, almost as if I didn’t know.

“My leg!” I gasped and he nodded before pinning my shoulders to the ground.

“I know. The bullet is jammed in your femur,” he informed me, again almost as if I was unknowing in regards to my condition.

“I know!” I gritted my teeth together in pain while he restrained me.

“We shouldn’t pull out the bullet… but you won’t make it far with it lodged where it is…” he said, trailing off before bringing up a stick. “Open wide.”

“I’m not-“ He cut me off by jamming the stick in my mouth.

“Bite down hard, this is gonna hurt.” He held the stick in my mouth and I nodded reluctantly. Removing his hand from my face, I felt his hand reside just below the wound on my right leg.

My leg stiffened in anticipation, a painful gust surging through my body. “Relax and stop contracting your muscles, it’ll be easier that way,” he ordered.

“Ea-y fow you to s-say,” I grumbled through the restriction of the stick in my mouth. I tried my best to ease my leg muscles but I found it difficult with all the pain surging through my leg. This was far worse than any cramp I had endured. It was probably on par with the time I had my knee smashed while my lower and upper leg was twisted in two different directions during one of my football games… maybe even worse than that.

“Okay… on three,” he told me. I gasped through the stick.

“Don’ fuc’in’ ‘ell me, jus’k pull!” I tried to yell through the stick. He obliged. With that, I felt a pair of pliers enter my body via the gunshot wound. “EERRRRRCH AHHHRGH! FUUUUUCK!” I groaned as he slowly plunged the pliers further. He was probably just being cautious, there were a lot of arteries there if my mind was correct, and this was very dangerous.

After what felt like hours, and was actually only a matter of seconds, I felt something being pulled from my bone and finally out from my body. I spit the stick out and roared in pain as my arms rose up, fingers curling. “GARRRRGH! FUCK THAT HURT!” I hissed and Derreck simply chuckled.

“Well I don’t think getting shot was intended to feel pleasant,” he retorted and I shot him a cold glare.

“How the hell did you find me?” I asked as he stood up and he merely shrugged.

“Oh… well you know,” he stated as he began walking away.
“Where… where the fuck… are you going?” I wheezed but he didn’t even look back as he responded to my question.

“I have some things I’ve been wanting to do. You’ll feel better when you wake up, I promise,” he informed me.

My mind began to haze just as he said that. I rolled to my side and reached out with my left hand, almost as if to grab and stop him. My vision blurred and I could barely make out his presence as he was walking away. “Derreck…” I moaned just before my face dropped into the cold, soft sand…

Normandy, 1944…

I found myself standing in a ramshackle town… everything had a grey hue to it. Even the sky was shady… I had never seen this place before, but it looked like some kinda...

My gaze was drawn upwards as a loud bomber plane flew overhead. My eyes went wide, 'What the hell is this?' I wondered feverishly. Without warning, something drilled through my shoulder, and a second later a gunshot echoed throughout the town. My body was pulled to the left as the force from the gunshot threw off my balance. I gripped my wounded shoulder with a wince of pain. Almost as if a signal to others, the lone gunshot was followed by a hailstorm of gunfire that razed throughout the shattered town.

The streets lit up with light grey flashes. Bullets whizzed through the air all around me. Stray shots ripped through my body, causing me to wince in minor pain, almost as if the gunshots were just mere mosquito bites.

My feet ran without my order but before I could even make it to the dinner in which I wanted to make my escape, my white T-shirt became shredded from all the gunfire. Blood gushed from my wounds as I lept through the dinner’s front window.

I groaned in irritation as my wounds quickly began to seal shut. Taking to a knee, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back to face the ceiling as I let out a sigh. I opened my eyes and the sides of my vision seemed to blur while the center seemed to sharpen itself.

Scents from the nearby attackers entered my nostrils while everything but their gunshots and screams were drowned out from my hearing. My body rushed up to its feet and I began rushing forwards in a rage.

“THERE IT IS!” screamed one of the attackers. I could tell he was German, judging by his accent. ‘Why the hell is he speaking in English?’ I wondered silently.

“SHOOT IT!” screamed another. Time seemed to slow, but my pace never did as my body accelerated to an unnatural speed. Bullets whizzed past me while the soldiers seemed to move at an almost still rate.

Their weapons jerked in their hands each time a muzzle flash would erupt, spitting out another lead shot towards me. My arms stayed in front of my chest, almost leading my path as I closed the gap between myself and my closest attacker.

Within the last few feet, I lunged forwards, my hands gripping his throat and tackling him to the ground while my knees bent for another lunge. Crushing his body to the ground, I lept from the first attacker to the second.

My right hand lashed out, gripping him too by the throat as my feet established contact with the ground. I lifted him off his feet while his buddies hosed me down with an enormous quantity of bullets.

I however, was nearly unaffected by the fatal assault. My skin was torn by the bullets but my vitals kept working. Holes in my body became ever present as more and more slugs chewed through me.

I swung my right arm back, swinging his body back with it, and then effortlessly tossed him into another of my assailants. A sniper projectile ripped through the back of my right shoulder, twisting my body forwards.

I took note, but didn’t act on the sniper as of yet. I moved on the last two remaining men that were left. There were technically four, but two were unconscious and of no threat to me.

I slowly stepped towards them as they continued to spray me with automatic fire. My body simply took the harsh punishment as if it was nothing, my brain no longer receiving any indications of pain.

I approached the man on the left and grabbed the barrel of his submachine gun with my right hand. I yanked the gun forwards as my left hand moved for the pistol grip. As I quickly ripped the German submachine gun from his grasp, my hands naturally swivelled into place.

My right hand slid across the front of the weapon, grabbing a proper hold on the foregrip of the rifle. My left hand pivoted on the pistol grip, left trigger finger slipping into the guard. In a left hand grip, I triggered the weapon and lit up the former owner.

His backside spewed with crimson as he was pushed back from the force of the deadly weapon. His buddy tried fearfully to reload his weapon, a deployable German MG42. I stepped towards him and he gasped. Without my command, my right hand moved forwards all on its own.

My grip ripped the gun from his hands then simply dropped it at his feet. He went wide eyed as I took an aggressive step towards him then shot my hand for his chest.

He squeaked in fear, closing his eyes in hopes of escaping the horror. But before he knew it, I was walking away from him, my back facing him. He went slack jawed in astonishment. It was only then did he realize that I had removed the pull cord from the hand grenade harnessed to his uniform.

He screamed as he quickly tried to remove the live grenade, but it didn’t last more than a second. The grenade erupted, vaporizing most of his body in the explosion as I walked away.

A sudden gunshot went off and my head was pulled back and to the left. Almost casually, my head returned to its former position as the gaping hole in the top left of my forehead sealed shut.

A glint of light shone atop of a four story building. Without the need of my command, my body quickly began rushing forwards, almost as if on some kind of autopilot. Gunshots echoed in quick succession. Bullets chimed against the concrete rubble beneath my feet but ultimately missed their mark.

A quick pause quieted the town as I rushed for the building. The sniper was no doubt having to reload. Just as I came close to the building, a fizzing flash came whistling towards me.

A small rocket propelled warhead rushed past me and erupted just yards behind my body. The resulting impact sent me hurtling through the flimsy, burnt out wall of the building. I raised my head with a groan, several deep cuts spurting blood.

With my wounds still not healed, I stood up and began rushing up the flight of nearby stairs, a trail of blood following me. Echoes of gunshots still thundered in the streets but didn't take my attention. My wounds healed just as I reached the third floor, ending the blood trail.

Just as I reached the final set of stairs, a rapid chattering rattled in the stairwell. There was a man at the top of the stairs, hosing me with something along the lines of a C96 Mauser, but I couldn't tell for sure.

My body instinctively charged up the stairs with no thought of self-preservation. The man screamed and moved to the side as I burst onto the roof with a roar. He quickly reloaded his pistol then continued to spit lead at me as I began to slowly walk towards him.

His chattering created wounds faster than my body could heal. But before long, his weapon ran dry. He pulled on the trigger several times, each resulting in a CLICK!

He dropped the gun and fell onto his rump. He began shimmying backwards as he tried to escape my wrath. As he reached the edge of the building roof, my wounds all sealed shut, making it seem as if I had never once been injured.

“What the fuck are you?” he asked in a petrified voice.

I smirked, and in an undeniable Arnie accent, I gave him the answer. “Yer worse nightmare.” My right foot snugged up underneath his rump and gave him an encouraging nudge off the building.

My eyes went wide as I watched him fall, a serious look spread across my face. His screams didn’t even last a second before his body splatted against the concrete below…

I awoke with a gasp from the very strange dream. The light of the morning sun temporarily blinding me. My left hand quickly shielded my eyes as I squirmed to sit up. It took only a second for me to clue in to the fact that something was wrong… well maybe not wrong in a bad way, but something was not right.

My left shoulder no longer hurt… and my left leg could move without…

As I moved my left hand away, I realized that I no longer had a nasty hole in my leg… in fact, I didn’t even have a scar. Just a hole in my trousers where the wound used to be.

I stood up in shock. Something was off… this was almost as weird as that time I was burnt then suddenly not burnt… no, this was equally as weird…

Memories of what had happened when I was pulled from the water arose in my mind… and Derreck was somehow in Equestria… and that crazy lady who had shot me… how the fuck did they get here?! On top of that, why the fuck did that lady even attack me?!

I flopped down onto my back and simply stared into the morning sky. This was so complicated. First mobsters in Manehatten, then crazy lady with a gun. Derreck was in Equestria, which wasn’t so bad... minus the pliers to the leg. But finally I had this weird thing with my skin or something…

I noticed my semi-dry cowboy hat beside me and grabbed it, placing it over my face as I groaned loudly.

‘Why can’t things just go back to being all fluffy and cuddly?’ my conscience pouted. I lay for a moment before realizing what the hell I had just said.

“WHAT?!” I gasped as I arose. “This is what I’ve been wanting for the last few months! A piece of the old world. Some action!” I announced before turning and looking down river… actually, it wasn’t really a river. I was on the shoreline of an ocean… or maybe a sea. Not too far away was a harbor and the respective docks.

I looked to what I had believed to be a stream and began to gag, nearly puking. I could now taste the horrid, rancid, goddess awful taste of polluted city water in my mouth. It probably would never leave for the duration of my trip.

I stomached the fact that polluted water had been in my mouth and began making my way for the harbor. I needed to find the F brothers’ contact and give him this stupid goo…

I trailed off for a moment and checked my gear. I still had the canister, along with my pistol, harness, and extra magazines. And I also had that little digital map do-hickey.

The sounds of the massive metropolis quickly filled my ears as I entered the harbor. Flim had told me to meet this stallion at the docks and here I was, but there was just one big, huge, massive, sprawling problem.

There were now workers all over the place. I didn’t have a picture of the guy, hell, I didn’t even have his name. All I knew was that I was supposed to meet somepony at the docks… ‘Well that plan’s all but blown to hell,’ I thought. I didn’t even have a way of contacting Flim and Flam to inform them that I was having technical difficulties.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” I muttered as I began moving my way through the crowds. Maybe if this stallion, or hell, maybe it was going to be a mare, I didn’t even really know that… anyway, maybe if this pony was a mobster then they’d be wearing a suit rather than laborer apparel.

“HEY BUDDY!” a voice yelled out, catching my attention. I looked over to a worker who trotted up to me. “You can’t be here, staff only!” he informed me.

“Uh… oh-h,” I stuttered nervously. “Sorry, I didn’t know,” I apologized.

“Can’t you fuckin’ read?” he asked vulgarly… funny, this was the first time I had really heard a pony swear out of the blue.

“Uh… what?” I asked and he pointed to a sign that read ‘Authorized personnel only’.

“Get the fuck outta here yah fuckin immigrant!” he swore at me and I quickly obliged him and left. I suppose I could have gotten aggressive but I didn’t want to make a scene. Especially if I was carrying some highly illegal goo stuff.

I began to walk aimlessly through the slums near the dock… Oh man… why did this Manehatten have to be so sketchy just like the real one? I swear, from the stories I heard, that I was probably in this world’s version of Washington Heights or something… but I don’t think Washington Heights was near any docks.

I turned down a street, or at least I thought it was a street, and began trekking down the underside of a road overpass. I continued down the street, which was now looking more like just a shitty sidewalk.

Before I could think, two grey stallions stepped in front of me, while at the same time two purple ones stepped out from behind me. “Whatcha doin’ in our neighbourhood?” he asked and I gulped.

“N-n-nothing,” I stammered as I stepped to the side, putting them all into my immediate vision.

“Well if it’s just nothing then I’m sure yah’ll won’t mind payin’ the toll tah pass.” He pulled out a long blade and waved it in my direction. I swallowed feverishly. I could easily pull Belladonna and just wipe these guys out… but the noise might attract the law.

I could run but I didn’t know how fast these guys were. I didn’t have any money and I was positive that these guys wouldn’t know the threat Belladonna posed to them if I tried to threaten them with her.

Two of the other three pulled out smaller knives while the final one pulled out one of those hoof bow thingies… it kinda resembled the model that Felix had out in the desert but rather than a hand grip, it had a large semi circle ring on the front side of the handle with a rather large trigger, meant obviously for hooves.

“I… I uhh… I don’t have any money guys,” I stuttered and the leader put on a pouty face.

“Awe, yah hear that guys? The poor baby don’t got no money, awe boo-hoo,” he whined mockingly. I could just incapacitate them, non-vital shots. It’d give me the time to escape… plus if hoof bows were illegal, then who knows what else these guys had on them that the police would bust them for… if they even showed up. Who’s to say the law would even come.

“Come on guys… just let me go, I don’t mean yah no harm,” I said with a pleading voice. A small crowd had gathered and now watched. These bastards probably did this on a regular basis.

“Shut up bitch… we’ll settle for everything you got,” the leader laughed. I nodded as if to comply. Very slowly, I began to pull back the flaps on my duster coat, as if ready to slide it off. My shoulders rolled back, ready to drop the coat off my body.

In the last possible second, I snapped Belladonna out from her leg holster. The triangular muzzle quickly leveled for the stallion armed with the hoof bow. The hand cannon rocked in my hands as it boomed out a mighty shot that tore off his hoof, severing it at the wrist.

He screamed and fell to his back, writhing in pain as he gripped his stumped limb. The others all looked to me and one by one, I shot them all in the front kneecap. Three tremendous gunshots echoed in the already loud city, each followed by an agonizing scream. Each traumatizing impact nearly ripped their limb clean off, only leaving it connected by slim fibers of flesh and muscle tissue.

The screams of bystanders echoed in the streets as ponies rushed away. Blood spurted from their wounds as I quickly holstered my gun and made a getaway, not once even looking back.

I hadn’t even made it a hundred yards before I started hearing sirens. Somepony must’ve tipped the police… either that or all the gunshots and screams lured a nearby police officer this way.

I rushed through backyards and alleyways, trying to keep hidden in the shadows. I met with the wall of a dead-end alley and had to scale the wall. However, as I hopped over the top, I accidentally landed on a street vendor's cart, smashing all his goods into the dirty sidewalk.

“HEY! WHAT’S THE DEAL YOU ASSHOLE!” he yelled as I stood up, stains on my clothes. I didn’t even look at him as I noticed a stallion dressed in a blue uniform with an undeniable police style hat on.

The cop looked to me and he must’ve seen it in my eyes. I turned around in a quick pivot and rushed away. “HEY! FREEZE!” the cop yelled but I didn’t listen.

‘Oh-hoo! I’m now officially a wanted criminal!’ my conscience thought and I just rolled my eyes. I guess this is what I’ve been wishing for the last few months, a taste of my old world… well, maybe back on my old world I wasn’t running from the cops with a canister of highly illegal goo, but… it was good enough for the adrenaline rush.

Steel mesh fences rattled as I leapt from backyard to backyard. The police officer, now accompanied by at least three others, rushed after me. Two were heavily obese and quickly fell behind while the other duo were younger and more athletic.

I scampered around a corner and made for the city streets. Carriages, both motorized and manually towed, screeched to a stop as I rushed into traffic. “HEY, WHATSA MATTER WIT YOU?” screamed one of the New Yorkers… or whatever they call them in Equestria.

Another cop joined the pursuit. “STOP RIGHT THERE AND GET ON THE GROUND WITH YOUR HOOVES OVER YOUR HEAD!” screamed one of the cops.

“SIR I DON’T THINK HE HAS HOO-“ The cop was cut short as he was struck, non-fatally, by a carriage. I skidded around another corner and entered a very ritzy neighborhood. Scurrying around yet another corner in an attempt to lose the cops, I bumped into a trio of officers in front of a doughnut shop, all casually chowing down on their pastries.

I skidded to a halt and they all looked to me with blank expressions. It didn’t take long for them to realize what was going on as I sputtered a swear. Rushing over a backyard hedge, through the backyard, and across the front lawn I was finally back onto the streets. It all happened before the three overweight cops even had time to scale the hedge.

I rushed down the expensive looking neighborhood, taking corner after corner. The police shouting continued to follow me as I paced down a side alley that went through the backs of several mansion-like homes.

My senses kicked into high gear. I picked up the sounds of screaming from the other end of the alley. ‘Shit… shitshitshitshit-SHIT!’ my conscience quipped and I made a bold decision.

I grabbed the high brick wall and scaled over it, and through the planted trees on the other side. I was met by a mid-sized stallion in laborer clothing, and a bovine whom lay on a lawn chair with a martini glass in hoof.

The shouting of police quickly neared and I put on my most pleading face as I motioned them to stay quiet. ‘Please, don’t say anything,’ I mouthed in a needing way. The stallion went wide eyed as if to scream but the bovine held up her right hoof and motioned for him to settle.

After several minutes, the police shouting faded as they left the area in pursuit of where I may have gone. In minutes, they were searching several block away.

I let out a sigh but, before I knew it, the cow was talking. “Who the fuck are you?” she asked in a heavy Yorker accent. I went to reply but she hastily cut me short. “Never mind, why the fuck are you in my backyard?” she asked inquiringly.

Again I went to answer but still she abruptly asked another question just as I was opening my mouth. “Don’t fuckin’ answer that… where the hell’d you come from. I ain’t never seen somethin' like you in all my life.” Strangely enough, despite having a heavy York accent, she sounded rather feminine.

I was simply speechless. I had no idea what to say. “Well?” she asked in a rather annoyed tone. “I saved your ass, so you owe me that much. Unless you’re a fuckin’ mute.” She was rather profane, but it was rather humorous at the same time.

“Uhm… well… I uhh…” I trailed off, still not knowing what to say.

“Well what? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Uhm… well… My name is Burdick, Evan Burdick, but yah can call me Burdy if yah fancy,” I stated. She frowned.

“Is that your fuckin’ way of talkin’ to a lady?” she asked and I gulped.

“Uhm… no ma’am,” I apologized and she held out her front left hoof in a very ladylike way.

“Well then, prove it. Introduce yourself like a real… whatever the fuck you are.” I stepped forwards very casually, knelt a little, took her hoof, and kissed it.

“I apologize madam. My name is Evan, but you may address me as Burdy if it is in your best interests,” I re-introduced myself in a very mannerly fashion. She pulled her hoof back in a disgusted way.

“I changed my mind. Don’t talk like that, you sound like some fuckin’ British faggot,” she regretfully announced. I snickered at her comment and she raised an eyebrow. “What? You think that’s funny?” she asked and I nodded. “So you think being a British fuckin’ faggot is hilarious?” she asked and I nearly burst into laughter.

Something about her was just priceless. “I’m sorry, you just make me laugh is all.” I wiped tears from my eyes while she put on a serious face.

“What? Do you think I’m a joke?” she asked seriously and I quickly corrected my statement.

“Oh-nonononono! Not at all! It’s just that how you addressed me was funny,” I stated and she raised an eyebrow.

“You like being talked down to?” she asked but I shook my head.

“Well… not really, but the way you did it was perfect,” I informed her. She thought for a moment before extending her right hoof for me to shake. I shook it before she quickly introduced herself by name.

“The name’s Hue… Hue Heifer,” she introduced herself and my jaw nearly dropped. That name sounded like…

“Wait… as in… THE Hugh Hefner? As in… the producer of Playboy?” I asked and she shook her head.

“No you idiot, listen to what I’m saying. HUE… HEIFER… Got it? And it’s Playcolt. I don’t know what the fuck a Playboy is,” she responded.

“Oh! Shit, sorry… it’s just that-“ but she quickly cut me off.

“I’m the producer of Playcolt and all its products,” she informed me and my jaw stayed slacked open. I had just met this world’s version of Hugh Hefner. “What’s the matter kid? Pussy got your tongue?” she asked and I snickered from her pun.

She rolled her eyes. “So kid… what brings you into the neighborhood?” she asked and I gulped before answering honestly; she had saved me from the police after all.

“I’m to meet with some contact in the Liotta family and give them some vial of green goo.” She sat there for a moment, swished her cocktail around, then downed the drink in one go.

“So,” she began as she set her glass aside, “you a mobster?” she asked and I shook my head. “Well… if you’re not a mobster, then why the hell are you helping the Liotta family?” she asked.

I gave her the short story of how Flim, Flam, and I were friends and how friends help one another, then how they roped me into this and the subsequent results of my first time in Manehatten.

She chuckled to herself. “Well kid… your contact won’t be waiting at the docks anymore, during the daytime that place is filled with workers and the Liotta’s wouldn’t dare a trade-off in broad daylight. The Gravelli family pretty much has eyes everywhere. Hell, they’re probably watching us right now,” she informed me.

“Who’s the Gravelli family?” I asked. She gave me a quick rundown about how this thing called ‘The Commission’ worked, and how the Gravelli and Liotta families were, and still are, rivals. All the while, she was drinking glass after glass of martini. “So how can I get this thing to the Liottas?” I asked and she shrugged.

“Well… if you’ve caused this much of a ruckus, then the Gravellies will probably have an eye or two on you, but you might try to head to the Liotta family homestead out in Uptown,” Hue informed me before pouring herself another glass and abruptly downing it.

“Uptown?” I asked and she quickly answered.

“Yeah… you know… Uptown?” she asked, almost like everypony should know Uptown. She let out a disgruntled sigh, pouring herself another glass. “Uptown is pretty much all Liotta family territory. No other families go into that area. Hell, not even the Mareixican cartel go into that area. Right near the seashore, there’s this ritzy… walled in neighbourhood… well it’s not really a neighbourhood, just four houses. The last one on the lane is the Don’s house. Ask the guards to talk to him. Tell ‘em what you told me an’ they’ll probably call him directly then let you in… if you’re telling the truth. If not, they’ll just shoot yah dead,” she informed me before tilting her hoof and hammering back the entire glass of hard liquor in one go.

“Oh… well thank you. Really. You don’t know how much this-“ But she cut me short.

“Kid… how much do you read my magazines?” she asked. I sighed and answered honestly.

“Not much I’m afraid. I got one from a friend during a… scene, if you will.” I chuckled as I closed my eyes and remembered Cheerilee and I while we masturbated together, or as she put it ‘Masturbating Partner’, or MP for short.

“Oh… well what was the scene like? Hot and sexy? Sweaty? Slimy? Cum infested?” she asked, almost as if she was horny and out of control.

“Meh… not really. We just masturbated together. She calls it a Masturbating Partner,” I informed her but she frowned.

“Come on, give me details! Did yah wait till your peak then jam it in her, blow your load inside her welcoming cooch? Fill her right up? Or did you blow your load all over her belly, smear her fur with your jizz? Or did you slam your cock down her mouth and unload into her throat?” she asked, wildly horny… or maybe she was just always like this…

“Uhm… no, we… really just masturbated together. That’s what an MP is, somepony you can masturbate with, without the fear of sexual contact,” I stated, trying to remember how Cheerilee put it. Hue frowned.

“What faggot thought that up?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“A good friend of mine,” I stated and she raised an eyebrow.

“Was it a guy?”

“WHAT?! NO!” I gasped but still she remained suspicious.

“Prove it,” she challenged and now it was I who raised an eyebrow.

“How?” I asked and she rolled her eyes.

“Tell me how it was when you held her down, thrust into her ass and went bareback before slapping her flank and making a cum dumpster out of her asshole.” Some of the terms she had were just…

“We didn’t have sex. We just masturbated together,” I informed her but still she wasn’t satisfied.

“Good goddess… what are you, gay?” she asked and I leaned my head back in shock.

“Uh… no!” I stated, almost as if it was she who was gay for suggesting that I would have sex with Cheerilee.

“Well then… why didn’t you fuck her? If you’re masturbating together then you’re obviously both horny, so you could have just stuck it in her,” she replied and I sighed.

“Because that’s what an MP is about. Somepony you feel comfortable masturbating around who isn’t going to try and rut you,” I stated. It sounded so much stupider when it wasn't Cheerilee saying it. Hue was about to make another vague interruption before she thought of something and clapped her hooves.

“This is brilliant! I’ll call it… Passions of friendship. Where friends can get messy together but not have sex… it’s brilliant. Goddess, my boy, you’re brilliant!” she announced and I merely nodded.

“Uhm… you’re… welcome?” I replied, not sure what exactly she had in mind. I really hope she didn’t go writing about Cheerilee and I in the next magazine… then again, I had never given away Cheerilee’s name so…

I decided to voice my mind. “Hey uhm… Hue? if you don’t mind, can you not put my name in your magazine? I don’t think my mom would like it,” I asked and she nodded.

“Of course my boy!” she cheered happily as she poured herself more liquor. Before I could even thank her, she offered me the drink.

“No thanks, I don’t drink,” I replied, grateful for her offer but not one to partake.

“Square,” she shot back before swallowing all the contents. “Well kid, anytime you’re feeling a little antsy, just give me a call and I’m sure I can set you up with a playmate,” she told me.

‘Wow! For most any other stallion, that’d be a dream come true. But for me that’s not what I go looking for. That’s a whole lotta trust she’s giving for someone she just met,’ I thought silently. “Well… thank you, really, but I’m not really looking for those sorts of things right now,” I informed her. She looked at me with a shocked expression before downing the bottle’s remains. After smacking her lips a few times in satisfaction, she finally gave me a frown.

“Seriously, are you gay?” she asked but I shook my head.

“No, but thank you for the offer. I’m sure any stallion would sell their only foal for a chance to be with one of your mares,” I commented, but she just laughed.

“Ah, no my boy, I meant me,” she stated and my face went pale. “What?” she asked, getting a little more serious. “You didn’t think I’d let you go rutting my ponies before I had a taste of you, did you? I need to know what’s touching my merchandise.” She smiled with a wink.

“I uhm… uhh…” I just stammered, baffled. She was one crazy cow.

“What? You think just ‘cause I’m old that I’m not a good fuck? Kid, with age comes experience. I could ride you better than you’d ever dream,” she told me and I merely blinked. “Don’t believe me?” she asked.

I began to stutter. I had no idea how to respond to this. This just escalated without warning. “Well uhm… ah-heh heh…” I trailed off with a nervous chuckle.

“Come here, I’ll show you a thrill that you’ll never forget.” She motioned with her hooves for me to come over while spreading her legs wide, displaying her glistening cunt for me to rut.

“UH! I uh… uhm… well, that is to say… I well…” I kept stuttering, completely thrown for a loop.

“Well… come on kid, sh-how me what yah... you’ve got!” Her voice slurred a little, the telltale sign that she was hammered. The fact that she was drunk eased my tensions a little. I had no idea what I would’ve thought if she was sober.

“Well... uhm. Thank you for the offer, but I must decline. I have some business to take care of.” I tipped my cowboy hat and made for my exit.

“No-no! Wait. I know you don’t believe me! I have to show you,” she explained, but I shook my head quickly.

“No, really, I believe you,” I replied back, but she stood up.

“No you don’t! I see it in your eyes. Now since you’re queer!... I’ll have to get somepony else who’s straight to show you,” she stated and I merely groaned. I didn’t need this.

“Julio, come her!” she ordered, and the laborer quickly hustled over.

“Yes Ms. Heifer?” he asked in a thick Mareixican accent.

“Sit down,” she ordered him and he quickly obliged. She sat on his lap and an erection quickly shot into view. “How long do you last during sex?” she asked and he nervously replied.

“I… I do not know Ms. Heifer. I am still virgin,” he stated in a very squeaky and timid voice. Hue just rolled her eyes and slid his cock into her waiting pussy. I saw Julio start to shiver and shake as Hue rode him like a bull. His hindlegs kicked and jerked as he endured an extreme pleasure to which he had never known before. She placed her front hooves on his shoulders and started pounding her hips down on his lap. "Oh Ms. Heifer... oh this feel so good," he moaned in basic English.

Hue began to let out pleasured moans as his cock thrust into her several times at an increasingly faster rate. "Oh god Julio... you cock is so thick... fill me you stud!" Hue moaned and Julio simply countinued to thrust, his hindlegs still jerking in pleasure.

He grunted as his own hooves slid down to her lustful hips, and he started to thrusting harder into her wet, sloppy cunt.

His cock slid up along the insides of her bovine snooch with a smooth film of her juices lubricating his shaft. “Oh… Ms. Heifer… oh… I am about to cum!” But before anything else happened, she quickly stood up and got off him, his shaft now twitching in need of release.

“Okay, y-‘ve served yer purpose. Now go on. Go jerk it off somewhere else,” Hue slurred, heavily intoxicated. Julio looked to her in disbelief… huh, talk about blue-balls. She flicked her wrist in motion for him to leave. “Go on, I wanna muh seat back-k!” she announced and Julio quickly got up and left.

“An’ don’ jerk off in the bushes! I jus’ had them trimmed!” she shouted drunkenly. Her drunken speech reminded me of my real mother… well, maybe not the explicit sexual vulgarity, but…

“Now see? You coulda been fuckin’ me… like that!” she reasoned, her head swaying side to side as she pointed at Julio.

“Uhm… yeah… I wouldn’t feel like getting blue-balled like that,” I replied and she just rolled her eyes.

“You crazy?! I didn’ want him makin’ babies inside me! But I woulda let you... cum all inside me…” She slurred off, trailing her right hoof up her slit, the slowly up her stomach. I blinked as she looked to me with serious wide eyes, not blinking even once.

“Uhm… are you okay?” I asked, but she didn’t reply. Instead, she just kept looking at me. I slowly waved my hand but, as I did, she slouched over and fell to the ground in a drunken heap, now passed out.

I blinked… wondering if perhaps she had just kicked the bucket. Heavy snoring quickly made itself known and I merely rolled my eyes. Poor thing…

I looked to Julio, who was jerking off feverishly in the corner of the backyard. I just chuckled before making my way to the front yard and down the streets. Taking out the digital map, I searched for Uptown…

Author's Notes:

The pegasi hammered me to the ground with brutal force. I groaned in slight pain as a dust cloud surrounded us. I felt her body shivering on top of mine, hooves covering her eyes. As the dust cleared I creaked open my right eye. "Derpy... what are you doing here?"

There's a little tid bit from the next chapter (Kinda like a spoiler but not really... like a teaser almost...) What is your thoughts on it? Should I do it more often or not at all? I'm open to suggestions since there is usually a long wait time between chapters