Thursday, April 30th, 2014…

My head throbbed as I burst through the doorway. Everything was red and would give a beating vibration whenever my head thumped. As I cleared through the doorway, my chest was hit by something painful, very painful.

I flew back through the doorway from whence I came. I tried to breath but could barely manage. My lungs seemed to be perforated by something. Blood spurted from my chest where a massive cavity had been created.

A figure paced up towards me with a pump action shotgun in hand. Presuming simply by the fact that the figure had a set of human breasts and stood in a bipedal stance, ‘She’ leveled the shotgun to my chest and squeezed the trigger. I felt my heart stop along with my lungs.

My world went black very briefly, and I could’ve sworn that I was dead. I mean, I just got shot in the heart by a shotgun at nearly point blank range. Very quickly my senses returned and I felt a strange feeling inside my chest.

My heart felt like it was reconstructing itself alongside my lungs. Unfortunately I still couldn’t breathe properly, but I managed to snarl. The figure stepped back with a gasp, already sliding shotgun shells into the otherwise empty shotgun.

I growled viciously as my chest sealed up, completely restored. I charged forwards and pummeled her body through the doorway and over the stairway railing on the other side. Our bodies plummeted to the ground several stories below before slamming into a trash dumpster.

Several glass bottles shattered and I cursed whomever hadn’t recycled. Shards of shattered liquor bottles seared into my side. The woman twirled out of the dumpster in an acrobatic way, landing on her feet and readying the shotgun.

I jumped out of the trash dumpster in a less fancy way but, as soon as I landed, she blasted me with a wad of buckshot that slammed into my chest and rammed me back inside the dumpster.

I heard the rack of the shotgun’s slide as she neared, along with the empty plastic shell clacking and bouncing across the ground. Just as she neared the bin, the shotgun barrel leaned into the dumpster and I clenched my right fist. I felt something slicing through the flesh between my knuckles, causing me to grunt in pain.

I roared in agony as my skin sliced open and three bony blades lanced out, gleaming with a bloody shine, gleaming in the moonlight. I shot my left hand forwards and grappled the shotgun barrel, slicing my hand blades towards the woman.

Just as I started swinging my claws, the shotgun went off. The blast of gunpowder burned my left eye while I felt the pellets of buckshot tear away my face…

I screamed in an uproar, bursting straight up with a gasp, right hand clenched. Redheart screamed in fear, holding her clipboard tight to her chest as my left hand gripped her by her collarbone, right hand ready to drive her face in.

It was a dream… just a dream. I gasped in shock, immediately releasing my grasp on her and settling back into bed. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” I apologized in my most sincere voice, petrified that I had almost laid a pounding to my nurse while in deep sleep.

My heart still pounded in my chest, thumping loudly from the occurrence of my dream. “I… I heard you grunting in your sleep. I thought perhaps you were having a bad dream and that… that maybe you’d like to be woken up,” she whispered in a still frightened voice.

I gently grasped her left hoof then placed it to my beating chest. “I’m really sorry… I am. See?” I asked, hoping for her to understand that my heart was pounding because I had almost drilled her.

She gasped then quickly undid my bandages. “What did you do?” she gasped and I was at a loss. Didn’t she know? I almost clocked her one.

“I’m… my heart is thumping because I almost hammered your head in with my fist,” I stated but she finally unwrapped my chest bandages and we both gasped in unison. My chest was… healed up? My chest hair was missing but my skin was…

I ran my fingers down my smooth skin. “That’s impossible,” we both stammered as she joined in on touching my chest, her soft hoof running a trail down bare flesh. This was… unexplainable. My skin felt baby soft.

“Did you take any healing potions from the medical cabinets?” she asked in a stern voice and I shook my head. “Don’t lie to me. There’s no way you could have healed up those kinds of wounds that quickly,” she inquired, but I still shook my head.

I quickly remembered my dream and immediately felt the tops of my hands, feeling for any bone claws that might now reside inside my hands, but was relieved to find none. That shortened the list significantly, but still left the question open. “I… I don’t know what’s going on,” I stammered but she quickly went about to shooing me out of bed and undoing my arm bandages.

I then realized that I had morning wood, which didn’t help the situation. I tried to conceal myself with the undersized hospital gown. Redheart undid my bandages and we were again shocked by similar results. My arm hair was missing but, again, my skin was restored to a baby like smoothness.

“This is insanity. This has to be some sort of dream,” she whispered and I nodded in acceptance. She moved to my front side and started to try and pull away my bandages but I stepped back.

“Hey!” I gasped, feeling a little exposed due to my lack of proper clothing.

“What?!” she shot back, irritated by my sudden movement.

“I’m indecent,” I replied but she rolled her eyes.

“Deal with it. This is more serious than your personal comfort. Now lie down so I can examine your other wounds, if they even exist anymore,” she stated before trying to force me onto the bed. I reluctantly obliged and lay flat on my back while she undid my bandages. With how I was lying, my boner sprang free from its loose domain and pointed straight into the air for all to see.

I covered my face in embarrassment. This was absolutely humiliating. She continued to unwrap my bandages. Every bandage that was taken off revealed fresh skin. She shot a rather inquiring glare at me.

“Don’t lie. How did you get the healing potions?” she asked but I just shrugged innocently; as I was.

“I didn’t take any healing potions, I swear,” I pleaded, telling her the truth. Truthfully, I had no clue as to how this happened. She continued her glare at me but my hands reached to her shoulders and I brought her closer so that I was glaring back at her.

“I swear I did not take a healing potion,” I told her in the most serious voice that I could muster. However, fate would have it that my voice mixed with an Arnold voice, and it didn’t sound all that serious but rather more comical.

She leaned back but, before she could speak, another voice entered the room. “Redheart, he may be under your exclusive care but, for the love of Celestia, keep it on the professional level,” spoke an irritated voice.

We both looked over to see a grey furred doctor, the one whose arm I broke when he tried to stick me with a needle. “This is professional,” I replied but he simply rolled his eyes.

“Not in our profession. If you two really can’t keep it in your pants, then lock the door,” he snarked and I raised an eyebrow. ‘Keep it in my…’ I quickly puzzled together what he had meant and covered my exposed erection from view.

He went to leave and Redheart muttered something to herself before chasing after the doctor. “Doctor, it’s not what you think!” she yelled, and I rolled my eyes. Great, now the doc probably thought I had a thing with Redheart.

I quickly came to my senses and realized that, if I didn’t have any injuries, I could logistically put on some underwear without any pain. I grabbed my boxer briefs from the table in which my property lay.

All I had was a pair of boxers, my Christian cross, and my watch. Rarity had taken my damaged clothes to be repaired while Twilight had retrieved my shotgun, so I was left defenseless for the time being. I slipped on my boxers and cross then smirked. "Well at least I'm not fried anymore," I muttered with a brush of my shoulder.

I sat down by the window and slid open the curtains. It was sunrise and the morning was kind of beautiful. Sliding open the window, I was greeted with a gust of warm air that brushed against my fresh skin. It felt wonderful, never before had I been so relieved to feel fresh air against my bare skin.. I pulled up my watch to see that it was nearly seven o’clock.

A butterfly moseyed on through the window and I turned my head to the door, only to see it closed. With a smile, I returned my gaze to the beautiful pink butterfly then extended my right index finger for it to land on. A gentle smile crossed my face as I watched it flutter around my finger, almost ready to land.

I waited several minutes until, finally, the natural beauty perched on my finger and stood stationary as such. I sat and watched for what seemed like hours, just looking at the tiny thing as it sat lingering on my finger, basking in the morning sun.

A voice from behind me took me by surprise. “Nature really is lovely when you wait for it, isn’t it?” asked a very gentle voice. I gasped and flicked my wrist, prompting the butterfly to take off.

I turned to see Fluttershy watching me with a gentle and loving smile. “I… THE THING!... I was…” I pointed out the window with my index finger. “I was… uhh… pointing at a dog and telling it to shut up and…” I pointed to my right index finger with my left. “And the uhm… the thing, the uhh… the butterfly raced onto my finger before I could shoo it away!” I lied, trying to preserve my manliness.

She looked down to the ground with a depressed face as she trailed one of her front hooves around in circles. “Oh…” she whispered in a sad voice. “I’m sorry, I just thought that… never mind,” she murmured. I bit the lower right side of my lip.

“I’m not a very good liar, am I?” I asked with a chuckle and she looked up with a curious face. “I just…” I trailed off, thinking of an explanation that wouldn’t seem too absurd for me.

Leaning my head back and to the left, I let out a sigh as I rubbed my closed eyes with my left hand. “Nature is just…” I trailed off again and bit my lip, not wanting to say it. “Beautiful,” I whispered.

I heard Fluttershy give a content sigh but I just groaned. “Don’t tell anypony I said that,” I muttered, with embarrassment in my tone. Fluttershy laid down by my side, almost like a faithful dog. Her hair flowed about freely and beautifully, her silky mane touching my soft skin and sending sensations up my leg.

I rested my left hand on her head and gave it a loving rub. She sighed to herself as we watched the sun rise together, though I have no idea why she was here.

“So Fluttershy... what brings you about?” I asked curiously. There was a long pause before I got my reply, but it didn’t matter to me if she replied or not.

“I was just wondering how Lassie and you were getting along,” she replied and I nodded, continuing to rub her soft, silky mane.

“We get along like the best of friends,” I stated and she nodded. Without actually looking, I noticed a third presence in the room. My body instinctively sniffed the air and somehow I noticed a lingering aroma of… apple.

“AJ?” I asked and a shocked gasp entered the room.

“How… how’d yah know it was me?” she asked in her typical southern accent.

“I…” I trailed off in thought. “I smelt you,” I said in a rather confused voice, not sure exactly how I had noticed her fragrance.

“Is... is that supposed tah... tah mean somethin’?” she asked seriously, perhaps presuming it to be an insult, but I shook my head.

“I have no idea. I just… somehow smelt apple and… it smells pretty good,” I informed her, taking another sniff of the wonderful smell of fresh apple. It was like there was a fresh plate of sliced apples.

“Ah need tah… tah thank yah fer… fer savin’ muh little sis,” Applejack began to thank me but I brushed it away.

“Applejack, you’ve thanked me over three dozen times, probably four dozen. I get it and, believe me, I don’t mind,” I told her casually.

“No, it ain’t that easy." She paused for several seconds before speaking again. "Fluttershy, can ah have a moment with Evan alone?” she asked and Fluttershy stood up.

“Oh, okay. Whatever you want.” Fluttershy nodded and sheepishly fluttered away, leaving into the hallway and closing the door behind her. Applejack approached me from the right side and stood in front of me, tears already flowing from her eyes.

“Ah… ah lost muh… muh parents a long time ago an… an’ ah promised ah would never, ever, EVER! Let anything bad happen tah muh little sis.” Applejack stifled her sobs and swallowed deep.

I nodded with a slight smile. “And you’ve done a damn good job of it. Applebloom is growing up to be a fine young filly,” I assured her but she shook her head and brushed away the tears from her face.

“But… but the other day… ah thought… ah thought that was it. She was trapped in there an’ there was nothin’ ah could do but…” she trailed off and hiccupped back a sob. A lone tear trickled down my face. God, if she kept this up then I'd be in tears too. “Yah just… yah just ran in there like Supermare, not carin’ fer yer own life an’ saved muh lil’ sis.” She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and began to weep uncontrollably. I suppressed the tears I had then just rolled my eyes with a shrug.

“Bah, it was nothing… maybe a little dangerous, but I digress. It’s what friends are for right?” I asked in a seemingly care free voice but she shook her head.

“That ain’t the point! Ah promised tah protect her but ah didn’t! Ah couldn’t! YOU DID! Yah put everything on the line an’ just… yah just did it without needin’ bein' asked… yah just ran in there like a big brother would… like ah shoulda… it shoulda been me runnin’ in there, not you!” She was weeping heavily now but I simply stood up and ripped open my hospital gown, revealing my fresh skin.

She looked to me and her eyes went wide. I spoke first. “No… it was me for a reason. I don’t know why or how, but it had to be me and it was,” I stated. She gasped and as her eyes went even wider.

“How did… ah don’t understand. Yah... yah was burnt yesterday,” she stated the obvious to which I rolled my eyes with a smirk.

“I don’t know what happened or why, but like I said; it was me for a reason, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat without a second thought,” I told her seriously. There was a long pause in which we just stood there, looking at each other. Her gaze was one of disbelief, but mine was a little more casual. “Now...” I trailed off with a sigh as I flopped back down into my seat. “If you wouldn’t mind,” I offered her to move to one side. “You’re blocking my view,” I laughed jokingly. She turned, only to see the sunrise before turning back to me, still with teary eyes.

“Ah will never be able tah thank yah enough,” she whispered and I let a smile cross my face.

“Tell yah what,” I began with a grunted chuckle as I rearranged myself in my chair. “You bring me in some outside food and we’ll call it even. The food here sucks,” I said in a serious tone. Funny, now I sounded like Dash. AJ was lost, obviously due to how easily I’d call it even.

“But… but-” she stuttered.

“AH!” I interrupted her. “I wouldn’t usually ask for anything, but since you’ve made it out like this: bring me food and we’re even.” I laughed to myself quietly and under my breath, still trying to keep things a little bit serious.

“Really?” she gasped, almost like it was a big deal. I just casually tossed my hands as I rose them into the air with a shrug.

“I like your family...” I trailed off and thought back to my old life. “It uh… it reminds me of the family I used to work for… kind of. They weren't ponies,” I said with a smile. “I’d do anything for you guys, and don’t forget that,” I told her as a tear trickled down my cheek. Remembering my old life always brought up painful memories. Not that the memories were bad, but the fact that I’d never see any of them again… it was kind of heart crushing.

She stepped forwards as if to give me a hug but I whined jokingly. “AWW… I just sat down!” I laughed with a smile then extended my hand. She took my hand with her hoof and gave it a good and strong shake.

She gave one final nod before leaving. Fluttershy, however, had probably left because she never re-entered the room. I sat alone until it was 8:38am and, at that point, Derpy hovered in with a small rectangular box in her hooves.

“Yo Derpy, sup?” I asked with humor in my voice. She displayed the box for me to see, but it was just a faded brown box. “What’s up?” I asked and she pulled over a table and chair before setting down the box and revealing the contents.

“Do you wanna play a game with me?” she asked and I raised both my eyebrows.

“You play chess?” I asked, surprised by the fact that the otherwise dopey mare would ask to play a game of such strategy. I figured her to be more of a checkers player.

“Of course! It’s kind of fun, but not many ponies will play with me,” she informed me and I just leaned my head into my left hand, elbow resting on the armrest of the chair. I let my weight rest against my arm as I pondered the thought. I was alright at chess. I didn’t want to wipe her off the board, yet, at the same time, I didn’t want to just let her win effortlessly; that would take the fun out of it.

“Okay,” I agreed and she quickly set out the game. She was playing as the white pieces and I was the opposing black. I was curious, however, as the chess pieces were almost identical to the ones from my home world except one major difference.

The king of the white pieces was Celestia, while my king was… another alicorn of whom I wasn’t familiar. “What’s up with this guy?” I asked, presenting my king piece in wandering thought.

“That’s Nightmare Moon. She’s really bad,” Derpy informed me and I raised an eyebrow.

“Well that seems a little one sided. The white pieces are the good guys while the black pieces are the bad guys.” I was going to add a bit about racism but I figured, in Equestria, they wouldn’t know what that was… well, maybe they would. “So, you want me to be the bad guys?” I asked with a hearty laugh and she gasped.

“Oh! Did you want to be the good guys? Icanchangeitifyouwant!” she sputtered out quickly, hastily shifting the game board around and scattering all the pieces about. I laughed with a sigh and helped her reset the pieces, with the black still on my side.

“It’s okay Derpy, I was just messing with you,” I chuckled then took a long look at my king piece. The craftsmanship was top notch, but they made Celestia look so happy and nice, and they made this ‘Nightmare Moon’ look so evil.

She had a medieval like helmet that concealed most of her mane. She did look kind of cute… ‘WHAT DID I JUST THINK? Did I just call her cute?’ I thought, quickly realizing that I was now considering random ponies whom I had never met before, cute. This world was really starting to get to me.

I set my piece down and we began the game. To my utter surprise, Derpy was not just good at playing, she was an absolute champ. In only a handful of moves, she had nearly wiped out all of my good pieces. Both bishops, a rook, and my queen were now absent from my roster. On top of that, I only had three pawns left. Yet, despite this, I had only taken out one of her rooks and two of her pawns.

‘Oh my God… she’s kicking my ass,’ I thought with a small smile. I went to move my only remaining rook then looked to her face as she watched in anticipation. I took my hand away and moved it to another of my pawns, but she watched my every move with her watchful, crisscrossed eyes.

I let out a chuckle as I smiled brightly. “What’s so funny?” she asked curiously as she looked to my face and I just shrugged with a hearty smile.

“You are.” I smirked and she pointed to herself innocently as if she was trying to defend herself from a guilty accusation. “Yes, you. I can’t do one thing without you watching me like a hawk,” I laughed then quickly snuck a move with one of my pawns but she, without looking, moved her queen across the board and took out the pawn I had just moved.

“Check!” she squealed in delight and I groaned. I looked to every avenue as how I could get my king out of the situation he… well, seeing as how it was Nightmare Moon, I guess I was trying to get my king out of the situation that ‘she’ was in.

I let out a sigh. “Huh… checkmate,” I muttered, but Derpy shook her head.

“No it’s not. You could do this,” she offered, moving my rook sideways and taking out her own queen for me.

“Ugh!… why would you show me what to do?” I gasped, shocked that she’d make such a move.

“Well… honest sportsmareship I guess,” she stated and I shrugged. She made a move with one of her knights but I moved my rook and took it out, putting her into a check.

“Drat… checkmate,” she whispered to herself but I shook my head. I quickly moved one of her bishops in front of my rook’s path. “Why would you…” she trailed off with a smile as I returned the gesture.

“Sportsmareship,” I chuckled then moved my rook and overtook her bishop. For the next several moves we ended up making the other’s move and finally she used her last remaining pawn to take my last remaining knight, yet I took my king and overtook her last pawn, leaving only our kings.

“Huh…” Derpy trailed off and observed the chessboard very closely. “So what now?” she asked, but I merely shrugged.

“Guess it’s a draw,” I muttered as I stood up and stretched. “Well Derpy, I dunno about you, but I’m feeling like gettin’ outta here before they stick me,” I told her but she was lost in confusion with what I had truly meant. “Stick me with a needle,” I enlightened her before making for the door.

As I left into the hallway, I spotted Redheart making her way towards my room and ducked back inside. I knew it was highly likely she’d keep me here a few more days to examine me or something before actually releasing me.

“Derpy,” I whispered, looking to my companion. “Distract Redheart so I can make my escape.” She nodded and quickly made her way into the hallway.

“Nurse! Nurse I don’t feel so good,” Derpy groaned, holding her stomach as she hovered towards Redheart. I peeked out the doorway to see Derpy faking a bad stomach ache as she lay on the ground, grasping her stomach area with her front hooves, withering in fake pain.

I snuck out into the hallway and around the corner, then down the stairway and to ground level. Doctors made their routes to their patients but, to me, they were like patrolling guards.

I leaned my back up against the corner of a wall and peeked around. Three doctors conversed around one of those water dispensing thingies, the ones with the little paper cone cups.

I turned away and grunted to myself. There was no way I’d make it past them like this. My peripheral vision caught a glance of something of virtuous importance. I looked to my left with a hum of curiosity as I rubbed my chin in thought.

Third person…

The trio of doctors in the hallway conversed with one another, each holding a cone cup of water. “Yeah, so he was burnt to a crisp in some fire out on the Apple farm, really brutal apparently,” the first doctor said to the others.

“I heard that he knocked out three firefighters and his punch actually shattered one of their helmets,” said another. As they continued conversing, a cardboard box snuck behind them in the hallway, creeping about unnoticed.

“Yeah, so he got here burned up real bad but apparently he would only let Redheart care for him.” The first began talking again, still none of them noticing the cardboard box creeping past in plain view.

“Well, don’t you know, those two have a thing for each other,” the third informed the other two who were instantly curious to his explanation, ears perking in attention to his story. “For Celestia’s sake, haven’t you heard?” he asked the other two but they shook their heads.

He groaned and just shook his head in pity for the two. “Redheart gets off on stallions who are hurt bad and in her care,” he joked, but in a serious tone. The big man inside the box gasped silently to himself as he stopped with a shocked: Huh?! He quickly turned his attention to the story.

“Well jeez, I thought you two would’ve heard by now. Just this morning one of the doctors, the one who had his arm broken by Twilight’s faithful student, walked in on Redheart just as she was mounting him. She was totally going to ride him cowpony style!” he gossiped but Burdy just gasped in shock.

“That’s not true!” Burdy grumbled, forgetting that he was supposed to be sneaking. A comical alert bloop echoed as the three doctors gasped.

“HUH? What was that?!” the first doctor asked aloud.

“Who’s there?” the second joined in as the trio turned towards the direction of the cardboard box.

“What’s going on?” the third chimed in as they started to search for their eavesdropper. They searched for several moments before all letting out sighs.

“It must’ve just been my imagination,” muttered the first as they quickly returned to their previous conversation about the false story of Redheart and Burdy’s affair.

Burdy blew an exhale through his nose then raised the cardboard box slightly off the ground and snuck off towards the exit.

Evan’s perspective…

Just as I made it into the lobby, I discarded the cardboard box for the time being. Weird, it looked and felt just like the one I had used to hide from Tristan. I quickly thought of making my escape, but a mare’s voice quickly killed my good mood.

“Excuse me! Mr. Burdick, over here!” she called out and my head drooped before I put on a forced smile, then paced over to the front desk. “Redheart didn’t say she was letting you out and… if records are correct, you should be in here for another few months,” she stated, but I shook my head and revealed my bare chest from underneath my hospital gown.

She gasped and looked back to her reports. “It says that you had severe third degree burns and that medical lotion could not be applied for the time being until it started healing!” she exclaimed but I shrugged.

“That nurse that cared for me: Redheart, has the best damn care techniques, par none.” And I quickly thought back to the gossiping doctors. “And those techniques aren’t sexual, regardless of what anypony around here says. She’s the best damn nurse I’ve ever been cared by and, as the humble student of ‘Princess’ Twilight Sparkle, I will personally vouch for her any day of the week,” I told her sternly as I leaned up against the wall.

“Oh my!” the check-in mare gasped and I nodded.

“Oh yeah. Right now she’s tending to a mare with a severe stomach cramp that could be fatal,” I over-exaggerated the situation by a mile but, again, the check-in mare gasped. “So she’s a little busy to write my medical papers, but she said I was free to go,” I lied and the check-in mare nodded then wrote it through.

I was about to start boasting about Redheart again when I saw her personally escorting Derpy towards the lobby. Redheart didn't look happy. My eyes went wide as I looked to the check-in mare. “I gotta run, toodles!” I stammered out my goodbye in a jiffy then dashed out of the hospital doors and down the streets in my bare feet.

After getting far enough away from the hospital, I waited for my grey pegasus friend. Derpy arrived shortly after with a snicker. “I burped,” she giggled and I laughed.

“Guess she didn’t take it so seriously after, huh?” I asked and she closed her eyes then shook her head with a bright smile.

“Nope, then she realized that you had left and she was really angry.” Well… that was one more reason for me to try vigorously to never have to go back to the hospital with serious injuries.

We laughed about our adventure for the duration of our journey back into town until finally arriving at the library. “Well, I gotta fly. Let’s hang out again soon!” Derpy said with excitement and I nodded.

“Totally,” I replied with a smile then turned around and gave the Tail Twist Swear. We parted ways, each with our own smiles from the morning adventure. I entered the library without knocking and caught Twilight by surprise.

“Ev… EVAN!” Twilight gasped then rushed over to me. “What are you…” she trailed off, obviously spotting my exposed skin which was healed up. “How?” she asked in utter shock, not sure how to take this.

“Yeah, I don’t know either,” I told her and she lept on me, and like Applejack had done after the barn fire, nearly broke my ribs in an incredibly tight hug. “Jeez… I think Derpy’s the only one who hasn’t tried to put me back in the hospital,” I gasped for air as she constricted me even tighter, like a python or something.

“Evan, I was so worried that I was going to lose you. I just didn’t know what to think,” Twilight wept but I grunted for air.

“Twilight… release me,” I wheezed and she quickly let go of my body. “Jeez… Have you been… lifting weights?” I gasped for air as I managed my question, but she just shook her head with a sheepish blush.

I let out a deep exhale as we embraced each other into a less detrimental hug, but then I got a tad bit curious. “Where’s Spike?” I asked, but Twilight simply shrugged while still cuddling into the embrace.

“He left earlier with Sweetie Belle,” Twilight informed me. I nodded before breaking from the embrace.

“Well… I’m feeling a bit sluggish,” I muttered before making my way for the downstairs basement.

“Wait Evan!” Twilight called out and, without actually tilting my head, I looked up to the ceiling with a sigh.

“Yes?” I asked, not really irritated but slightly annoyed because I knew that tone. She was going to want me to do something ridiculous.

“Do you… want to maybe… read together?” she offered and I turned back to see a book in her hooves. The story’s title read ‘Mackenzie Bolack’ and the front picture was a mare with some sort of hoof-bow-gun-thingy. It looked kinda like what that cat morph bandit had used while trying to rob Flim and Flam.

“I know you don’t like sappy stories, but Mackenzie might be a little more your style. She’s a little violent but she’s had a rough past and-“ I cut her off.

“Does she fight a war everlasting against the mobsters and corrupt police forces?” I asked and she was at a loss for words.

“I didn’t know you were familiar with the series,” she stated her thoughts and I gave a so-so shrug.

“Kind of. Back on my world there was a series just like that. It was called ‘Mack Bolan, The Executioner’ and he was, without a doubt, probably my favourite fictional story book character par none! He was strong, tactically intelligent, he knew his guns and, best of all, he named his primary firearms. BT, or as he called it ‘Big Thunder’. It was his .44 Automag and man was it nuts. He was always shooting up the bad guys. He also had a Beretta Brigadier that he called ‘Belle’ and it was…” I trailed off, realizing that she would have close to no idea what I was talking about.

“You’ll really read it with me?” she asked excitedly and I nodded.

“Just one thing,” I told her then rushed downstairs and searched for some decent clothes. I quickly found my refurbished clothes. discarded the medical gown and slipped on my cargo pants, a fresh white V-neck t-shirt, and my M81 camouflage jacket. I rushed back upstairs just as Twilight was setting up two chairs with her magic but no sooner had she done so that there was a knock at the door.

I tossed my arms in aggravation as I quickly went to answer it. Never once since I had arrived in this world was I so stoked to read a book. I swung open the front door to see Rarity dressed with some sort of bonnet and a basket dangling in her magical aura.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is Twilight home darling?” she asked in her usual voice. Twilight immediately came to my side and Rarity smiled. “Darling, is Spike home? I need some help digging up gemstones for a new dress I’m designing,” Rarity asked, but Twilight shook her head.

“Nope, sorry Rarity. He left earlier today with your younger sister,” Twilight replied.

Rarity swung her hoof to one side. “Drat, whatever shall I do?” she cried in a despaired voice, almost like a cliché damsel in distress as she swung her hoof to her head and let out a faint gasp. Twilight and I just watched her act before she looked to us in slight distress. “No, seriously! What am I going to do?” she asked in a serious tone but we just shrugged before I thought up a possible solution.

“Just use your feminine charm on somepony,” I offered, but she simply began to flail in despair again.

“Oh it’s just awful. Everypony is busy today and I must have my dress done by tonight.” Then she looked to me with sparkling eyes. “Darling, would you be a sweetheart and help me?” she asked in a fluffy voice as she brought her hooves close together and fluttered her eyes at me.

“Well…” I sighed looking to Twilight. I had really, really... REALLY, wanted to start reading that book but Rarity was probably in a bad spot. “Alright.” I let out a deep exhale while Rarity squealed. Turning to Twilight, I gave a smile with an inhale and just shrugged.

“Keep that story handy. I’ll read it with you as soon as I get back,” I promised her. Twilight held the story to her chest with a sigh, her eyes sparkling as we left. I felt the same as she did; I wanted to read that damn book.

As Rarity and I left, she levitated a shovel over to me. I stopped as I realized something; I didn’t have a gun. I rushed over to my truck and made for my SVT-40 then I realized something else. Rarity didn’t do the heavy work, so having a large rifle would be cumbersome.

There were only two reasonable options, maybe three. Either I take Heather, my Norinco 870 clone or… my heart fluttered a little. It had been a long… very long time since I had taken... ‘her’ out.

Truly, she was probably only but a mere two pounds lighter then Heather but would be easier to carry around with the custom leg holster. I went to the passenger side door of my truck and Rarity gave a huff. “What are you doing? We’re wasting daylight!” She tried to hurry me along in haste, but I’d have none of it.

‘Why would you want a caliber of that size? It’s just absurd.’ A distant memory played through my mind as I leaned the passenger seat forwards and grabbed the leg holster meant specifically for Belladonna.

‘You name your guns? God, and I thought I was weird,’ laughed a voice from yet the same memory. I strapped the holster to my leg. It was a twin strap, one higher than the other and both having a buckle rather than looping leather like classic holster straps.

The holster didn’t feature anything really fancy, and Belladonna’s barrel was usually sticking out of the bottom by about two and a half inches. The handle would rest and keep the pistol supported while the rest simply fit with an uncanny snugness. For safety, or whatever it was designed for, it had a safety strap latch that looped over the massive handle grip.

‘I have something you might like but, uhh… it’s a bit finicky.’ The memory conversation continued. I opened up the opaque black container in the backseat of my truck and took a deep breath of air as my heartbeat pace quickened.

Without getting too carried away, I quickly stuffed Belladonna into her custom holster and latched her in. I pocketed several loaded magazines, some with original ammunition from my home world, and other magazines loaded with custom Flim and Flam ammunition.

All of the shell casings were golden brass in colour, with a heavy 300 grain jacketed hollow point bullet fitted onto the shell. I gave a nod to Rarity who simply tilted her head as I slammed the passenger door to Cadence.

“Just for safe measures. Trust me, you never know when trouble is about,” I informed her before she tossed a shovel into my hand and led me out into the countryside. As we walked the boring walk, my mind slipped into my memory.

A long time ago, Earth…

My buddy and I snickered together as we discussed various firearms. Eventually he brought up the topic of my Restricted license which was supposed to arrive soon.

“So what’s the first handgun you’re gonna get?” he asked and I replied as if I had practiced the line hundreds of times. His left eyebrow raised high. “Why would you want a caliber of that size, isn’t it a bit absurd?” he asked and I merely shrugged.

“Go big or go home I suppose,” I laughed back and he simply shook his head.

“Those things are novelty items,” he told me but I simply scoffed.

“I’ll probably call her Belladonna,” I informed him and he just chuckled as he stood up to leave.

“You name your guns? God, and I thought I was weird.”

Months later…

I sat on my front house porch as an import SUV arrived onto my front lawn. The house itself was hidden deep in the forest from prying eyes. My friend stepped out and I stood up. He said he had something for me and that it was a surprise so I had been waiting anxiously all day for him to arrive.

Leaving his SUV running, he walked over with a black opaque case in hand. I went over to meet him and he spoke before I could. “I have something you might like but, uhh… it’s a bit finicky.” He opened the case and my eyes went wide.

“I can’t take this. I don’t have my handgun license yet!” I gasped but he shrugged.

“Well, I bought this brand new but I couldn’t even get it to fire one round. They won’t give me my money back either and the gunsmith says it’s really busted. Thought maybe… because you have a way with guns… that you could fix it and keep it. No one has to know and if the cops ask me, I’ll say it blew up in my hands so I tossed it in the scrap pile,” he laughed and my heart started to thump as I grazed my hands across it for the first time.

As my hands touched the cold frame, it seemed to gleam brightly, and I swore I could’ve seen an inscription written into the slide. As I looked closer, the inscription disappeared. “We’ll figure something out…” I trailed off as I touched the gun.

Present time…

I snapped out of my memory and decided it was time to seal the gap. “Rarity, hold on. I need to do something,” I told the mare who stopped and looked to me in irritation to what I could be so important that I'd need to waste time doing it.

I walked several yards away and set a stone on a larger rock. The stone was of fair size, about four inches in diameter. I walked back about twenty yards then turned to Rarity. “Get behind me and cover your ears,” I told her before unlatching the strap on my holster.

I carefully unveiled my massive handcannon and brought it up to chest level, barrel facing the sky on a diagonal slant. I brought my left hand across, gripped the top of the handgun’s massive receiver block and racked back the hulking slide.

I kept the receiver locked back as I watched the firing pin block latch the shell casing into place. Releasing my grip on the receiver, the slide slammed shut with a CHING. My heart began to race as I extended my right arm to full extension, then brought my left hand to the grip in a Weaver stance. My legs spread wide as I readied myself for the first shot in a long time with this beast. Time seemed to slow as I was sucked back into yet another memory.

Long ago, Earth…

I had finally gotten it… Ahem, I had gotten ‘IT’… No, not it, her. I had gotten ‘HER’ to work. I had no idea what was wrong, but I had played with her for a few days. The hammer worked, the slide worked, hell, the whole gun worked, so I just figured maybe it was nothing and that I had gotten a $2000 gun for $500. “SCORE!” I yipped and walked out to the back of my property.

Sure, shooting a handgun while not on a range was illegal, but by my count, just having the thing was already illegal, so to hell with it. I had done a bit of research and apparently these things were unreliable, cumbersome, overpowered, over weighted, pieces of steel shit. Well, I was about to find out.

I slammed the magazine into the handgun then rammed back the receiver with force, allowing it to slam shut. One thing was for sure, the slide sure was stiff. I readied myself for the recoil which I was sure would be tremendous.

Legs spread at shoulder width apart, and both hands grasping the large hand grip, I licked my lips. Sucking my tongue back inside my mouth, I slipped my right index finger into the trigger guard, then squeezed back.

A horrifying echo roared out into the otherwise peaceful afternoon air. A circular ring of muzzle flash erupted in front of my handgun that could even be seen in broad daylight. The muzzle spat out a thundering 300 grain bullet that slammed into a tree trunk and burst a massive cavity out the backside, splintering shards of wood about.

The recoil jolted the handgun in my hands, thrusting my sights off target and lifting the muzzle three, or maybe three and a half inches, higher. I blinked in utter disbelief. ‘Was that it? Was that the so called: uncontrollable recoil?’ I wondered. Literally every single review I had read stated that the gun had a tremendous recoil that was absurd and uncontrollable.

I blinked and fired again… then again… and again, and again until the handgun’s slide locked back, signaling that it was empty. I just stood in shocked disbelief. That was in no way uncontrollable, not by a mile. I would admit it had more oomph than a 9mm but… in all seriousness, it just felt like a supercharged .357 magnum.

I was seriously disappointed. All those stories about the absolute insane recoil of these cannons and I here I was figuring that I’d have to work strenuously to build a relationship with the gun in order to use it right and… in the end it wasn’t all that difficult to use.

“Dammit… well at least she’s mine,” I muttered, then checked to make sure she was actually empty before turning to head home.

Present time…

I lined up my shot and the chrome barrel seemed to gleam. Along the left side of the barrel, the custom cursive gold inscription read ‘Belladonna’ while the right side of the barrel had the words reading ‘And thy lord shall set thee free’. The grips had been customized into pearl grips, each with a black Christian cross set in the middle of the grip. The sights were a luminescent white which, at the moment, didn’t offer any sort of advanced sight acquisition like it would during the night.

I squeezed the trigger and the triangular muzzle thundered out a single well placed shot. Without ear protection, the handcannon’s report was enormous. The gun jerked as a circular flash was emitted into the air directly in front of my gun.

The hulking bullet flew down range with impeccable accuracy and the stone was decimated into pieces. I brought the triangular smoking muzzle down to my side and ejected the magazine then removed the bullet from the chamber. I thumbed the slide release before slipping the spare bullet back into the magazine then placing the magazine back into the gun, I nodded to Rarity. “Just making sure she still works,” I told her with a nod before holstering the pistol.

“Darling, may I ask a favour?” she pleaded and I nodded. “Never do that again. It was much too loud,” she stated and I snickered. Probably one of the most notable drawbacks of this gun: the noise.

We continued out into a field and her horn lit up, magic spurting out from the tip. “Over there darling,” she pointed to a spot on the ground and I placed the tip of the shovel blade to the ground, then began digging. Not even a minute into digging I drove the shovel into what looked like already processed gems.

“Woah!” I gasped, seeing as how the gemstones were pre-processed yet only a foot under the surface. Rarity handed me the basket and I started shoveling the gems into it with my bare hands.

“Are all the gems in Equestria like this?” I asked, wondering if perhaps we just stumbled across a lucky batch.

“Oh heavens no. Some are rubies, others are sapphire-“ I quickly cut her off and grabbed a random gem.

“No, I mean. Are they all fine, or do you have to process them?” I asked and she looked to me.

“Process?” she asked in a wondering tone.

“You know, process? Like, refining them?” I asked and she shook her head. “You don’t have to pressure treat them or anything, just wash them off?” I asked and she nodded.

“Well of course dear, that’s how all gems in Equestria are,” she answered my question, albeit unintentionally. I stood up after I had raided the hole for every last gem. Rarity quickly pointed to another spot where I quickly began to dig.

We sat in the fields for maybe two hours before I stood up and wiped my brow with a mucky hand. “Ugh…” I groaned, wishing I had brought a canteen or something.

“Oh darling, you must be parched! Here,” Rarity offered me a bottle of water which I graciously accepted.

“Thanks,” I wheezed and quickly sucked back half the bottle’s contents. I waved the bottle, offering her some, but she gave a disgruntled facial look as she saw the muck I had gotten on the bottle.

“Mmm… no thank you darling, you enjoy it.” She stepped back with a hesitant laugh, not wanting to get herself dirty. I slurped back the rest of the contents, some of the water trickling down my neck and dampening the collar of my shirt that laid underneath my heavy jacket.

I hadn’t quite noticed but my entire back was soaked with sweat and was rather uncomfortable. “Darling, I must say you are an invaluable worker to me and I have no idea how I could ever pay you back. If there’s anything you want… Anything, just let me know and I’ll be more than willing to oblige,” she offered with a flutter of her eyes.

I looked down to my now empty water bottle which had barely even wet my tongue. My throat was as dry as a desert and it didn’t feel good. For an April day, even if it was the end of the month, this was rather on the hot side. “Anything?” I asked, though my voice was wheezy.

“Anything your heart desires darling,” she informed me. I waved my water bottle.

“I could use some more waters” I spoke in a raspy voice and she was, weirdly enough, thrown off by the request.

“Water? That’s all you want? Everything I could offer you and you ask for water?” She sounded a little weird but, then again, maybe the sun was getting to her too.

“Yeah… it’s kind of hot out,” I whispered. Without warning, a magical aura grasped my jacket and unzipped it, then flung it off, along with pulling my shirt off. Before I could say anything, a water bottle was tossed my way.

I caught it and nodded my thanks to her. “Are you still hot?” she asked and I nodded somewhat. As I closed my eyes to suck back the contents of the bottle, a sudden gush of water flushed over top of my head and I gasped in shock as cold water drenched my body in several streams.

It would’ve been nice, had the streams not been icy cold. “GAH!” I gasped loudly as shivers went down my back. “Rarity!” I gasped with yet another shiver as I looked above me to see four water bottles pouring down cold water.

“Refreshing darling?” she asked in a dreamy voice. I crossed my arms.

“Wet,” I stated in an unamused voice. The bottles quickly drained while I frowned. The ground behind me started to rumbled and crumble a bit. I turned behind me just as it stopped.

“An earthquake?” I muttered to myself, wondering just what the hell that could’ve been. Suddenly there was a scream from behind me. I whirled around to see Rarity getting snatched by a pair of humanlike dogs.

“We’ve told you to stay out of our territory!” It screeched as it pulled her down a hole.

“EH!” I yelled before rushing over. Just before I could reach the hole, the burrow itself seemed to close up like a sinkhole. I gasped and turned to another one but they all seemed to seal shut.

I frantically looked for something and spotted my opportunity. A younger looking dog was just making his escape. I charged forwards and, when I was within range, I lept through the air and ground tackled him, hard.

He whimpered as I plowed his face into the ground with all my might. “The fuck’s the meaning of this?!” I roared but he simply continued to whimper. I rolled him over, unsheathed my hand cannon, and hammered the barrel into his snout.

“Listen closely ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once! You tell me why the fuck they just snatched my friend, or my personal buddy here plays plastic surgeon with your face!” I yelled and he cringed.

“Please don’t,” the dog whimpered in a feminine voice. I groaned. Now I felt a little bit bad because she was a bitch. “We were just following our orders. Every pony knows this is diamond dog territory,” she wept and I thought back to all the stupid stories Twilight had told me.

Her nose was bleeding a little as I stood up and offered her my hand. “What are you going to do?” she asked but I shrugged.

“Nothing really. I heard Rarity has done this before. She’ll just whine and complain until they release her,” I chuckled but she gulped.

“Maybe. But the new boss might not tolerate her if she doesn’t obey him. He’s a tyrant,” she warned me and I let out a disgruntled sigh.

“Ohh shit…” I whispered then looked to her nose which was bleeding more profusely. She didn't quite look like the other dogs. The other ones looked more like some kind of stubby snout dog, maybe an ugly Pug or something. This one looked more like a German Shepherd.

I could tell her nose hurt because tears were trailing down her cheeks. I grabbed her tight. “Hold on,” I told her then grabbed my shirt off the ground and dribbled some of the little water I had left onto a sleeve before applying it to her wet nose to try and get it to relax.

“I’m not much of a doctor, but cold usually helps,” I stated then offered her the rest of the water. She was hesitant at first but quickly slurped it back.

“Thank you,” she whispered so softly I couldn’t even understand what she had said.

“Huh?” I asked and she whispered a bit louder.

“Thank you. We barely get water down in the mines. I’m always very thirsty. So I’m giving you my thanks, regardless of what you chose to do with me,” she informed me and I nodded.

“Not much. I just need you to get me down there…” I trailed off as brutal memories of Tristan returned to mind. This tyrant, like Tristan, sounded awful. “How many of you are like henchmen? That would stand by his side?” I asked, wondering what I was up against.

“Only a few of us hate him, the others all love him. The ones who are reluctant to him always work the hardest.” I cursed to myself then looked to her.

“As soon as we get down there, rally the others and get out. I don’t need collateral damage,” I told her and her eyes went wide. I ripped off the cold, wet part of my shirt then wrapped it around her snout. “The white flag, so I know it’s you,” I told her then slipped on my tattered shirt, then my jacket over top.

She nodded and gulped before quickly beginning to dig. I hopped down the hole after her but barely fit; my hulking size was just barely able to sneak down. It was so tight that I had to squirm to get down.

“Cons of being big. I can’t fit in holes,” I muttered as I continued to squirm down the hole. Finally we reached the caverns and both of us fell. Just as I stood, several dog things surrounded me, spears edging at my neck.

“Good work,” one of the dogs said to my accomplice. ‘Did she set me up? No she couldn’t have... unless she was like a double agent or something…’ I wondered to myself as the one dog pointed to my firearm.

“What is that? You!” He pointed to another dog. “Grab it!” he shouted and the other dog ripped Belladonna from her sheath. They examined it closely but never once even got her close to operating. “What is this?” the dog shouted and I quickly thought up a convenient lie.

“It’s an artificial vagina,” I lied fluently and the dog raised a suspicious eyebrow before looking down the muzzle.

“I doubt it. That’s a small hole,” he snarked but I just shrugged.

“You ever wonder how I’m so big? I use steroids. I got big muscles in exchange for a tiny penis. That hole fits me perfectly… oh, I haven’t cleaned it yet and I just used it recently,” I told them and he gasped before tossing the gun at me.

I grabbed her and put her back in her holster. “Pretty fancy for just a pocket pussy,” one of the dogs snarled suspiciously.

“I can’t offer pleasure to any female I’m with so I keep the one thing that doesn’t complain in good condition,” I continued my lie with fluency and it paid off.

“Bring him to the cell!” the dog, whom I presumed to be the leader of this group, ordered. They shoved me over to a cell, tied my hands up in rope, and then strung me up high. Locking the cell gate behind me with a padlock, the group left me alone, my accomplice giving me one last glance and a nod.

I heard yelling in the distance of the cave and listened closely, my senses seeming to hit a new high that I had never experienced before.

Third person…

Rarity turned her snout up as the lead diamond dog snarled at her. He closely resembled a massive Pitbull. He had massive frame work and was very imposing to the mare who, compared to him, was rather tiny. “I said do it!” he roared, but Rarity still refused.

“I will not!” she spat, but rather than continue to rant at her like the leader before, he simply backhanded her to the ground. Her body hit the ground with a thump, a slap mark clearly visible on her cheek.

She gasped in shock as tears trickled down her face. “Now dig, you stupid mule!” he roared. Rarity sulked herself up and picked up the shovel then began to take small chunks of dirt out of the ground.

A whip slashed across her back, making her yelp in pain. “I SAID DIG, MULE!” he roared louder than ever before, making Rarity cringe in pain, both from the whip slash and his voice.

Author's Notes:

Okay, before anyone asks "WHEN IS HE GOING TO PUT HIS DICK IN TWILIGHT" Just sit back for a second and think. This whole character is revolving around the fact that he's dumb as a sack of bricks, if I just pulled that from him then he's not Burdy. Now a lot of you will say "Nothing's happening between Burdy and Twilight" and if you take the blunt picture of their relationship... yeah, it kind of hasn't gone anywhere other than Burdy having some serious mom issues, but if you flip over that picture, you'll see that he's gone really far with his character transition. I mean, when he first arrived he was a brash dick. Everything was 'Gay' to him and he pretty much refused to speak with most ponies or even socialize. But just recently he rushed into a burning building to save a filly. As much as it sounds bad, if it had've been in the beginning, Burdy would've just looked at the burning barn, shrugged and figured "Meh, it's not my problem." So yeah, Twilight and Burdy's relationship hasn't really went anywhere beyond the mom thing, but his character has changed dramatically, so much so that he's risking his life for ponies. Anyway, that's just my thoughts on it...