Tuesday, April 9th, 2014…

So even though I was under the effects of the tetanus potion stuff, things couldn’t be better. I was in an upbeat tone, everypony was feeling better… I couldn’t really ask for more, well, maybe to be home, but beggars can’t be choosers.

I slowly, and casually, heaved a pair of dumbbells as Spike stood beside me doing a similar workout, though he had tiny weights at my request. He had constantly bugged and bugged me, so I finally agreed to let him workout, though he had to take it really easy. I probably couldn’t live with myself if he was hindered in some way because I let him hurt himself.

My boner throbbed in need of release, but my muscles burned more, taking all of my attention. After a while longer, my hands simply released the dumbbells, which fell to the ground with a clang.

Spike gently set the small weights down and looked to me. “So what now?” he asked curiously and I shrugged. My stomach answered my question with a grumble.

I clucked my tongue and briefly remembered all those times that Scotty and I would have Timmies before morning milking at the dairy farm. “Mmm… I’m feeling like a doughnut would be good… a dozen actually, how bout you?” I asked and he scratched the side of his head.

“I dunno. I guess we could go to Tim Horsetons,” he informed me. I nodded, pocketed a few dozen bits, then didn’t even bother putting on a shirt as we began to race out of the library.

All I had on was my regular camouflage cargo pants and work boots, going topless. Spike raced with a pair of gym shorts and a tank top. I let him lead the way since he knew where this place was. Oh buddy, I could taste the doughnuts now...

We eventually reached a small establishment with a big sign that read ‘Tim Horsetons’. I snickered at how closely the place resembled a Tim Hortons and we quickly entered. I looked to the large variety of goodies and treats, and I could tell Spike was doing the same as our mouths watered.

“Aren’t trans-fat and glucose not good for fitness?” Spike asked but I shrugged and looked to the young mare who was operating the cash register. She was kind of pretty I suppose. She had light brown fur, with a dark red mane and matching tail while her eyes were a pretty green.

“Spike, what do you want?” I asked and he pondered in his thoughts.

“I guess… uhm… a muffin please.” He had manners, I’ll admit that.

“Four muffins and a half a dozen doughnuts please,” I told the cashier who checked it through. The final bill was… thirty two bits?

I shrugged off the thought and tossed her a pouch of bits. “There’s thirty four in that. Keep the change,” I told her. She nodded and immediately grabbed our things, and handed me the receipt.

Spike and I sat down at a table near the window and dug in. Unfortunately, she had mostly just given me plain doughnuts with only one chocolate dip, one honey glazed, and one jelly doughnut.

Spike had gotten three carrot cake muffins and a banana muffin… lucky bastard. I began to ponder why the hell it was so expensive then looked to the receipt. My eyes went wide as I realized that there were a bunch of things I was billed for that we didn’t receive.

“Uhm… excuse me!” I called out and the nice mare looked to me. “I got billed for… three double doubles, two hot chocolates, a half dozen doughnuts, four muffins and…” I looked at the last thing that read ‘2 BELT’ “What’s a belt?” I asked Spike.

“Bagel, Egg, Lettuce, Tomato,” he replied and I nodded. At first I thought it was an actual Bacon sandwich, which would’ve confused me because ponies didn’t like killing animals.

“And two BELTs… but we only got the doughnuts and muffins,” I told her. She gasped and rushed over, looking over the receipt.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. Here, let me get you your change,” she apologized then ran back to the register. She came back and handed me twenty eight bits. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Wait… no…” I stammered and looked to the receipt. “The doughnuts were four bits and the muffins were five, making nine. The bill was thirty two, so that means you’d only owe me twenty one,” I informed her.

She got flustered and began to break down in a panic. I quickly grabbed her hoof and held it down on the table. “Woah, relax. You’ll give yourself a heart attack.” I let a few seconds pass by, enough for her to calm down. “Tell you what, keep the change,” I said with a bright smile.

She let out a deep sigh then nodded with a smile, and a slight blush. “Thanks. It means a lot. I’m a little new here. My name’s Mary by the way,” she informed me as she extended her hoof.

“Burdick, Evan Burdick. But yah can call me Burdy if yah fancy,” I replied with a shake of her hoof. She turned around and a hint of arousal hit me. I peeked a glance to her flank and noticed that she had no cutie mark.

She continued forwards, a slight sway in her hips. Her movement was like a trance to me, mostly because I was hornier than a bull in rut. She rounded the counter and noticed my gaze before I did.

With a sheepish smile, her face flushed a deep hue of red. I quickly noticed how dorky I looked and coughed slightly before taking my view away from the young mare. As I turned, I noticed that Spike had eaten just about all our sweets, minus two plain doughnuts.

He was just stuffing the last muffin in his mouth as I looked to him. “Sowwy,” he gargled, his mouth still stuffed with pastry. I just rolled my eyes. So much for manners. I waved to Mary as we left and she covered her blush as she returned my wave.

Both Spike and I made our way back to the library and my young dragon friend looked up to me. “Man… I wish I could look like you. Then Rarity would definitely love me,” Spike muttered. I smirked with a roll of my eyes.

“I dunno bud. I think there’s more to winning a mare’s heart than just looks,” I told him and he scoffed.

“Yeah, sure." He rolled his eyes as he got a little pouty. "Like, every mare you talk to nearly faints,” he replied and I shook my head.

“No. Applejack doesn’t… Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Mrs. Cake, Twilight’s friend Cadence… they all didn’t almost faint,” I told him and he rolled his eyes.

“Rarity does. And that mare we just met at Tim Horsetons-” But before he went on, I cut him short.

“Okay, for starters, Mary was just blushing because I was being really nice despite everything that had happened. And Rarity… she’s just like that,” I told him and he nodded.

“Exactly! I wish she’d be ‘just like that’ with me,” he replied and I sighed. This guy had his hopes and dreams set on that mare. It was such a shame, it really was. I didn’t say anything, not sure how to comfort the poor dragon.

As we arrived at the library, a voice called over. The voice belonged to Sweetie Belle. “Hey Spike, wanna come play?” she asked hopefully and he looked up to me.

“Are we going to work out any more?” he asked and I shook my head.

“Nah. I think I’m just going to let the day pass away,” I informed him. He nodded with a smile and then rushed over to Sweetie Belle who remarked at his still tense muscles.

“Wow Spike! You look a lot stronger than you did last time!” Sweetie Belle spoke with a funny chime in her voice and Spike nodded with a bout of confidence.

“Yup! I’ve been working out with Evan. One day I’ll be as big as him and then your sister will fall in love with me,” he stated. Sweetie Belle let out an ‘Oh…’ that sounded a little… sad. The duo both dashed off into the town while I entered the library.

The lights were a little dim but I took nothing of it. “Is that you Evan?” Came Twilight’s voice from upstairs.

“Yeah. Spike’s gone out with Sweetie Belle,” I informed her. I began to sway my way towards the basement. My plan right now was that I would get that porn magazine and rub one off, and then maybe I’d take a nap or something.

“Oh, well… can you come up here?” she asked. I let out a sigh and looked up to the ceiling as if to roll my eyes. Things couldn’t just let me nap. I stumbled up the steps to her room, only to see her lying on her side, her hair frazzled, with a weird look on her face.

She had a book cradled close to her chest as she spoke in a hushed tone. “Shall we read together?” I pondered the question. I had really just wanted to jerk off then pass out.

“Ugh… I dunno." I groaned then pondered the question a little more. The story might be good. "What’s the story about?” I asked and she was thrown off balance by the question, falling off the edge of her bed and crashing down with a THUMP!

“What? Huh?” she asked as I walked over and helped her up.

“Well… you asked if i wanted to read together so I asked what the book was,” I replied then picked the book up off the floor and looked to the cover. “Sixty-Nine Shades of… Neigh?” I raised an eyebrow but she quickly snatched the book out from my hands and hid it under her wing.

“I uhh… hehe… it uhm… Rarity lent it to me and I was just about to start reading it,” she informed me and I snickered.

“Oh my god… I uhh… hear that uhh… it’s a very… descriptive book,” I told her.

“It is. It’s very visualizing,” she told me and I raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you said you were just about to start reading it?” I asked and she blushed heavily.

“I was! That’s just what Rarity said and… since I was just starting to read it I thought that maybe you’d like to read it with me,” she offered and I shuddered. I had never read Fifty Shades of Grey, but if this was like the Equestrian version, I don’t think I’d want anything to do with it.

“Uhh… uhm… I’m good,” I stuttered. “I hear that it’s a story geared more towards moms…” I trailed off and thought about how she was my mom. “I guess it would fit your persona, ey mom?” I snickered then turned to leave.

“Well actually... never mind that. Now that you’re here I need to tell you something,” she began and I groaned.

“Ugh… can I not jerk off first. I’m hornier than…” I trailed off and just left the sentence where it was.

“Oh…” She trailed off and looked down to see a tent pitched in my pants. I noticed her stare and quickly covered it with my hands.

“Yeah… they uhh… got me with the tetanus crap again,” I muttered.

“Oh…” Was all that she said.

“Yeah, so I need to jerk off, ‘cause I’m not very active in the alternative,” I told her.

“Well,” she began, “we could always… you know?” she asked and I raised an eyebrow. I waited for her to continue but she didn’t.

“No, I don’t know. Please enlighten me.”

“Well, we could…” she trailed off… well, I think she trailed off. She was getting that weird look in her eyes again. The one where her eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked into mine.

“We could what?” I asked bluntly.

“Well… you know… I could help you...” she trailed off again, slowly stepping up to her hindlegs and leaning forwards.

It finally snapped and I knew exactly what she meant. “Exactly! You’re genius!” I stated with a snap then stepped back. She fell forwards with a gasp. I quickly unbuckled my belt and slide out my stiff buddy.

“Oh… well, you certainly are straight to business,” she stammered and I nodded.

“Yeah well it took a bit of time but I finally realized it. You’re an alicorn so-” I began but she cut me off.

“What does that have to do with it?” she asked in a very confused tone and I quickly replied.

“Well, I guess a skilled unicorn like Trixie could do it to but you’ve got magic too-” But again she cut me off.

“Wait… what?” she asked and I answered her question with what she had in mind from the beginning.

“Well duh! You’ve got magic. Just cast a spell to get rid of my boner! It’s brilliant!” I exclaimed.

“Oh,” she replied dully and in a rather gloomy voice.

“What do you mean ‘oh’? It was your idea, you’re a fucking genius!” I told her in an upbeat tone, picking her up and hugging her tightly. I had sort of forgotten to do up my pants before I hugged her and my bare cock rubbed against her soft fur, sending shivers of pleasure throughout my entire body.

I set her down and stepped back. “Okay so…” I trailed off, waiting for her to get rid of my throbbing erection.

“I can’t,” she stated and I gasped.

“What do you mean you can’t?!” I asked and she answered my question with haste.

“I can’t get rid of your urges in the way you want. The only way I can get rid of them is in a way that you’d feel uncomfortable with. And I wouldn’t want to put you through that,” she told me in a still down voice.

Thoughts zoomed through my head. At first I had wanted to get off and pass out, but now I was feeling adventurous enough to find a spell to dfeat these retched erections.“Bah, don’t kick yourself over it. I know a mare that can do it,” I told her and she gasped.

“You… you know a mare?” she asked and I nodded.

“Yeah, Trixie. She’s 'Great and Powerful' after all. She’ll probably know how to get rid of this thing,” I told her as I pulled up my pants and began to rush off.

“Wait, Evan!” she called out, stopping me in my tracks. I turned back and she looked to me with loving eyes. “I love you,” she whispered loud enough so that I could hear, but in a very hushed tone.

I rolled my eyes, walked over, and hugged her lovingly. “I know Mom. We’ve been over this again and again. I love you too and you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to leave you,” I told her.

She hugged back tightly, almost not wanting to let go. After several minutes we both let go and I gave her a nod. “Don’t worry, Trixie will get rid of this for me,” I told her then rushed off.

Just as I was about to leave another thought hit me. I looked to the bookshelves and walked over. I picked out the book that I wasn’t supposed to touch. It was the one with the spell that got me here. I stuffed it into my pants, since I still didn’t have a shirt and coat on, and then left the library.

I quickly paced around town until I came across Trixie’s stage-home thingy. Without even knocking, I let myself in, only to be greeted by the sight of Trixie masturbating.

“GAH!” we both screamed in embarrassment. Her horn flared and a pink dildo slid from her juicy hole and was flung away. By some sort so accident - I hope - the dildo bounced off the wall of her small house and then hit me in the face.

Pussy juice smeared on my face and made me cringe in slight disgust, but my cock throbbed in delight. “Eww…” Was all I managed.

“Don’t you knock?!” she gasped and I grabbed a nearby cloth and began wiping my face with it. Before I was done, she pulled the cloth away and concealed herself with it. “Well?” she asked rather irritably.

“Well what?” I asked, having forgotten what she had previously asked me.

“Well, don’t you bother knocking before you enter a mare’s home?” she asked in an annoyed tone. My boner continued to twitch out of control, constantly making me want to just pull out my cock and ram her. Despite my near uncontrollable urges, there was no way in hell I was doing that, considering all she had been through.

“I uhh… need a favour and it’s really strange,” I informed her. She raised an eyebrow. “You seriously have to listen to my whole explanation before thinking anything,” I told her and she nodded.

I closed the door behind me, locking it to make sure nopony could enter. “I uhm… have this problem, see… it won’t go away,” I told her and she gulped as I pulled out my raging boner.

“I… I… I…” Trixie stammered fearfully.

“Trixie, it’s not what you think, believe me. The docs gave me some potion that gives me a raging boner and nearly uncontrollable urges. And I thought that, because you’re great and powerful, you might be able to cast a spell that would negate it,” I informed her.

She registered everything I had told her then wiped her brow with a ‘phew’. “I’ll be honest, I’ve never been asked to do something quite like that. I guess everypony else would just succumb to their urges. I’m terribly sorry but I don’t know if I could do something like that,” she replied and I whispered a subtle curse to myself.

“Well fuck… that curbs my plan to an absolute halt,” I hissed. A sly smile crossed her face as she slowly stood up. An aroma was present in the room that made it hard to think about anything other than sex.

“Well… we could always just get rid of it the old fashioned way,” she replied with a strange tone, to which the likes I had never heard from her before. Her voice, along with the aroma that lingered in the air, made my boner twitch out of control.

My left leg stiffened while my right leg jerked a little. “T-t-th-the… old fashioned way?” I gulped hesitantly.

“Well, you know silly,” she whispered, still in that strange tone that didn’t sound like it belonged to her.

“I… I don’t know,” I replied, praying that she didn’t have in mind what I was thinking… stupid urges.

She hopped up to her hind legs and pinned my immobile body against the locked door. “You could make love to me,” she whispered as she grinded her body against mine, making me grunt in forced pleasure.

“Ugh… Trixie!” I gasped as my urges were forced away by whatever mental strength I had left. I slipped out from her grip and pivoted around her. “I can’t do that to you! Not after everything you’ve been through in life,” I responded, quickly doing up my pants and belt.

Her face quickly wilted to a pouty and depressed face. “I’ve always wanted someone to love me other than my brother but… but… maybe he was right. Nopony will ever love me because... because I'm ugly.” She sniffled before tears started to pour from her eyes.

My anger skyrocketed as I was reminded of my failure with Tristan. In a fury of rage, my forehead slammed off the nearby wall, causing stars to blur my vision. She gasped in absolute shock and I turned to her, wincing in pain.

“You’re not… ugly! You’re beautiful… gorgeous… drop dead sexy… never… guh!” I scowled in anger as I dropped to my knees, my fists clenched as I roared in anger. “AHH TRISTAN!” I began to slam my fists into the floor as I constantly yelled out the ‘fuck’ word.

The whole ordeal had gotten rid of the sexual tension, but in turn it had brought about a new problem. Trixie knelt down beside me with a look of hesitancy on her face. “Do you… did you really mean that?” she asked but I didn’t look to her.

My lips curled a little as I thought about that rotten no good piece of shit Tristan. ‘When I find you… God help your soul,’ I thought silently. “About what?” I asked in a scorned tone.

“About me? Do you really think I’m pretty?” she asked and I nodded. She lifted my chin and looked directly into my eyes. “Don’t lie to me,” she pleaded. I nodded again and tears dribbled down her eyes. She slowly placed her lips against my cheek and gave me a loving kiss. “Thank you. Nopony has ever called me beautiful before,” she whispered.

I moved my face away and began to massage it with my right hand. “Ugh… what have I become?” I muttered to myself. Calling ponies beautiful, kindling together loving friendships, risking my life for talking animals...

“What do you mean?” the female unicorn beside me asked. I hadn’t quite meant for her to hear that. I pulled the book from my pocket, flipped it to the page with 'that' certain spell, and handed the book to her.

“I need you to cast a spell. I need to go back to my world to remember who I was. Maybe I’m better the way I am now and I’m just thinking that I’m worse off this way… or maybe I have become pitiful,” I informed her.

She skimmed over the spell and looked to me. “This won’t work. Even if I did complete it, how will you get back?” she asked, reminding me that I still needed to explain the entire plan.

“Not just me, you as well. That way when I’m done, you can get us both back,” I told her but she gulped.

“But what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong?” she asked but I shook my head.

“It has to work,” I told her. She swallowed deeply before taking one last look at the spellbook. Setting the book down, she took a deep breath then lowered her horn, the tip pointing right at me. The room seemed to get darker as her horn began to glow and spurt out globs of magic dust.

An aura of magic swirls lanced through the room, sounding our bodies. Her eyes clenched harder and she grunted just as a blast of energy shot from her horn, split, and then hammered into both of us.

I braced myself for what I expected to be a brutal hit…

My eyes still closed, I waited for the blow that never came. As I opened my eyes, I looked to Trixie who was huffing exhaustedly. “It… it didn’t work…” she whispered in a tired tone.

I let out a sigh and shrugged. Patting her head, I flopped down beside her. “Never mind kid… it was worth a shot anyway,” I told her. She collapsed exhaustedly while I just leaned my head back against the wall. My emotions were starting to get to me again… fucking Tristan. When I found him, I’d kill him…

Somewhere in the Middle East, third person…

The massive cargo plane sat in the empty desert plains with a small group conversing near the rear of the plane.

The woman had her arms crossed as the rebel fighters observed the Cold War Soviet weapons, mostly Kalashnikov family weapons, but a few were of other designs. She stood roughly five foot six inches and had an average build.

She wore a simple pair of black cargo pants which were a little tight and hugged her ass a bit too much for her comfort. Her upper body fared no better with just a simple tank top that didn’t leave much to the imagination with her busty breasts.

Her medium length brown hair was slicked back, not interfering with her view of the rebel fighters. Her feet felt a bit cramped in her black combat boots. She bit her lip as her green eyes quickly darted back and forth between the four men observing the weapons.

“So?” she asked curiously, already getting a little edgy. She hated dealing with rebel fighters. To her, rebel fighters, Mujahedeen, Taliban… they all looked the same.

“We like,” one of the men said in a heavy Arabic accent.

“So we’re good?” she asked in a rather uneasy tone.

“No,” said one of the others as he drew out a small handgun from under his thick robes. “New deal,” he told her just as an assault rifle muzzle pressed against the back of her head.

With her attention drawn to the four fighters, she hadn’t noticed the three Mujahedeen fighters sneak up behind her. “I thought you said you hated the Mujahedeen?!” she hissed.

“We do, but not as much as Americans,” said another of the original four men. “Now stand over there. We take all guns and maybe you live,” he ordered her in basic English. She kept her hands in the air as she slowly began walking to where he had pointed.
The group began to rummage through the cargo boxes, scavenging everything they could. One of the seven fighters kept his gun trained on her but constantly looked to the group and muttered things in Arabic which the woman couldn’t understand.

She dared a glance to her right, spotting her favourite old rifle on top of a cargo box. It was an M16A2 with an M203 grenade launcher attachment. She waited another moment and the fighter once again turned to the others. She slowly sidestepped closer to the box that supported her rifle.

The Arabic man continued to yell at the others, probably for them to hurry up. As she neared closer to her gun, she stopped and readied her posture. The man looked back to her but didn’t notice anything different about her.

Without turning his body, he again looked to the others. The woman took this chance, and lept. Her body careened through the air and she planted her left hand against the top of the box and pushed hard, launching her body into something of a barrel roll, propelling her body over the box as she grabbed the rifle with her right hand during mid flight.

Pulling herself into a roll as she touched the ground, she thumped onto the sand just before racking back the charging handle on her M16. “FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” she roared and chattered down the small group with her assault rifle. The lone chatter of the assault rifle screamed into the empty desert.

The muzzle flared as metal death was spat at the Mujahedeen fighters. They all screamed in horror as they were cut down by the single woman fighter. Letting off on the trigger, she kept the smoking rifle at hip level. “No one fucks with Kianna Magnum! NO ONE!” she shouted.

The sky quickly became dark, almost black, as thunder clouds started to form. “What the fuck is this?!” Kianna yelled as she again readied her rifle. Lightning began to strike the ground around her as thunder started to boom.

Flashes of lightning streaked across the sky in an unearthly way. Her eyes wide, Kianna made a beeline for her massive Hercules cargo plane, tuffs of dirt being kicked up as she rushed forwards.

Just before making it to the plane’s cargo area, a streak of blue lightning thrashed through the air and hammered her hard. A grunt escaped her lips just as everything in her mind went white.

Ponyville Library, Evan’s perspective…

I snuck into the library and discreetly put the book back where it belonged. Moseying around, I found myself in the kitchen and pouring myself a bowl of cereal, despite the time of day.

Eventually, Twilight poked her head into the kitchen. “So… how was it?” she asked in a sad voice and I raised an eyebrow as I looked down to my cereal.

“I dunno… it tastes pretty good, that’s why I buy the stuff,” I stated and she let out an irritated huff.

“That’s not what I meant. How was it with Trixie?” she asked in an inquiring voice that sounded like she was depressed yet scornful at the same time.

“It didn’t work, she didn’t know a spell either,” I replied subtly.

“Well… didn’t you… you know?” she asked and I looked up to her.

“How the hell did you know about that?” I gasped and she sniffled a little.

“Well… well it wasn’t… that hard…” she stammered, her voice almost cracking in sadness. “You were… having urges…” She had a hiccup and began to cry.

I was thrown way off in confusion. “What the fuck does that have to do with it?” I asked, now wondering how she knew that I had tried to go home and how exactly being horny had anything to do with that.

“Please… just don’t…” she cried, turning around and running back up to her room. I was left speechless, wondering what the hell she was so sad about. If she knew that I had tried to go home then she should know that I was going to come back after.

I let out an irritated groan, quickly finished off my cereal then paced up to Twilight’s room. Even before I could mutter out a single syllable, she was yelling at me. “I said don’t!” she wept and I tossed my hands into the air.

“Twilight, I wasn’t going to leave forever, I was just gonna go home for a little while.” But instead of getting an answer, there was a long silence that just seemed to drag on and on.

Finally she broke the silence. “What?” she asked in a confused voice and then I was thrown into confusion once more.

“What? What? Wait… what? Stop messing with my head! What do you mean: What?” I took a long pause as my thoughts scattered.

“Huh?” she asked and her question threw me even deeper into the hole. I grasped my head, not knowing what the hell was happening.

“I uhh…” I trailed off, pointing to myself. “You…” I pointed to her. After another moment my mind snapped back to my recent thoughts. “Oh yeah. I know I promised never to leave you, but I swear that I was going to come back. I just needed to go home for a little while. You wouldn’t have even noticed that I was gone,” I told her, but her face remained in a confused look.

“I… what?” she asked, probably still lost in thought. I tried to remind her why she was sad, seeing as how that was what this was all about.

“You were pissed off at me, or sad, or something, and so you were crying. But I had no idea why, but then I found out that you knew I was trying to go home and that’s why you were sad but I swear to God I wasn’t going to leave forever,” I stuttered everything out in a flash.

“But… wait, you tried to go home? Evan, what were you thinking?!” she gasped and I rolled my eyes. Now she was just mad at me. Oh well, at least it’s better than before.

“I know it was bad but I just needed to know if I was becoming pitiful or… it’s hard to explain. I know what I did was wrong but I needed to do it.” I let out a deep sigh. “Twilight, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that,” I apologized truthfully. I hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings, I just needed to figure out my own emotions.

“But I thought you went over there and had sex with Trixie,” she informed me and my gut wrenched at the thought of it. As nice a mare as she was, that’s just not right.

“UGH! Twilight! Why would you think I’d do something like that? And after all she’s been through,” I partially scolded her, though not harshly. She winced slightly in innocence.

“Well… you were horny and you said she could fix it for you so I just put two and two together,” she stated and I groaned.

“Ugh… we really have to learn to communicate better so that this stuff never happens…” I trailed off as she lept onto me, hugging me tightly. I scratched my head briefly before rolling my eyes and returning her hug. I'd never understand mares... hell I couldn't even understand women and they were the same species as me.

“I just couldn’t bear the thought of not having you. Evan… please, tell me that you love me,” she whispered and I rolled my eyes.

“Man… we’ve been over this like a dozen times. Do you want me to write it on the wall?” I asked. She hugged me tighter.

“Please…” she whispered, almost in a sob.

“Yeah, I love you,” I replied in a somewhat irritated tone. ‘I guess it would be better than me acting like a douchebag son: Fuck you mom, I’m not listening to a thing you tell me to do.’ I snickered at the thought and Twilight looked up to me.

“What’s so funny?” she asked and I looked down to her beautiful eyes that gleamed with the still lingering tears.

“You,” I stated, giving her a kiss to the forehead. “We really have to start talking more so that way we don’t have any more misunderstandings.” I chuckled. The sound of the front door opening and shutting echoed through the house.

“I’m home.” Came Spike’s voice and I looked to Twilight.

“This never happened,” I told her and she nodded back with a smile.

Just before I could leave, she brought the subject up again. “Wait! Why did you try to go home?” she asked and I groaned.

“Twi, it never happened. Remember?” I asked, just as Spike entered the room.

“Hey guys…" Spike trailed off and observed Twilight a little closer. "Twilight, were you crying?” he asked worriedly but I answered before her.

“Nah, she just got a bit of dust in her eyes,” I lied and he raised an eyebrow. “We were… cleaning! Yeah, cleaning and… we found a dust collection in a place she could never reach…” I trailed off in my lie and Twilight picked it up.

“Yeah it… was behind the top of the bookshelf where we could never reach.” Twilight laughed nervously, not selling the lie very well.

“But I cleaned there just the other day…” Spike replied in a tone of suspicion.

“Well the dust must’ve built up really quickly,” Twilight lied quickly. Spike’s eyes looked from one side of the room to the other, with his right eyebrow raised high.

“Uh-huh… right… okay,” he replied then left in a state of confusion.

“I’m with him,” I added but, before I could leave, Twilight nabbed my attention.

“Actually Evan, there is one more thing,” she said and I let out a groan. “Oh, don’t be like that Mr. Mopey Pants,” she teased and I rolled my eyes.

“Coming from you, that’s hilarious,” I countered and she blushed slightly.

“Well it wouldn’t happen if you didn’t constantly play with my feelings,” she countered and I tossed my hands up in loss. Now that was pretty harsh.

“Okay, fine! I give. I’m sorry for always forgetting to tell you that I’m not actually leaving the house forever, just for the afternoon,” I told her and she rolled her eyes. ‘Oh yeah, SHE rolls HER eyes at me,’ I thought.

“Anyway,” she began, “I was thinking that, because you are my faithful student, you should learn some magic to justify that title.” I let out an exhale.

“Twilight, I’m not going to pull rabbits out of a hat,” I muttered. ‘I can’t believe she’s seriously thinking about this.’

“Not that kind of magic. Real magic. Don’t worry, I’ll show you tomorrow, you’ll love it. I promise.” She sounded really excited but I wasn’t sure if she was thinking straight. She did just have a mental breakdown about… three minutes ago.

“Alright.” I let out another deep sigh and moseyed on down to my room. Flopping down onto my bed, I looked to the roof. At least my boner was gone, but now I had a new problem. Twilight wanted me to learn ‘real’ magic. Had she finally lost it? She did realize that I wasn’t a unicorn…

As the thoughts slowly continued to plague my mind, I fell asleep, still thinking about ‘real’ magic…

I sat with my friend who always went on and on about Criss Angel and how he was some kind of illusionist or magician or… some crap like that. I kept telling him it was probably bullshit and just camera tricks but he insisted on showing me.

We had watched a few other episodes, and I wasn’t sure how he did it, but they were obviously fake. They probably stopped the video feed at parts and then started again after they did the hard part of the stunt.

One episode had him inside a building when it imploded, another had him drive a RC Hummer under a curtain in an empty parking lot and then when the curtain fell the RC had turned into a real Hummer… it was so fake it literally made me want to rip my hair out because my friend was always gawking at the stunts.

“He’s totally real. You can’t fake something like that!” my friend told me and I rolled my eyes.

“Yes you can,” I replied back.

“How?” he asked inquiringly.

“Well… look! He’s faking it on screen right now,” I stated and he just rolled his eyes.

“You’ve been… Mind Freaked!” he said in a sloppy imitation of Criss Angel. I continued to watch his new stunt which was something to do with a nail gun and he was going to catch the nail straight out of the air.

But instead of actually catching it, the nail was going to be shot through a pane of glass first to slow it down. I just rolled my eyes as he readied himself. My friend sat on the edge of his seat, totally thrilled by the act.

The nail gun fired and… the actor started screaming? The nail had slammed into his hand and he was screaming in pain. I snickered briefly but as the actor continued to scream in agony, I laughed harder. My buddy’s mouth was agape as the TV turned to the attention of others, explaining what was happening.

The one director talked about how they weren’t expecting the nail to spew the glass into Criss’s face, making me laugh even harder. “Yeah, we’re gonna shoot a pane of glass and expect it not to spew shards of glass everywhere,” I laughed in a mocking voice.

They started an interview with Criss afterwards and he started changing the story. Now it was that his act wasn’t to catch the nail, but rather that he was trying to explain that he had actually gotten shot by the nail. “Man, that was sooo crazy! Did you see the nail hit his hand, it was totally real!” my friend gasped.

“What? Are you stupid? He was supposed to catch the nail, remember?” I told him and he looked to me as if I was stupid.

“No dude, didn’t you hear him? He was saying that him getting shot by the nail wasn’t an illusion. It was real. You can’t fake that!” he told me and I just sighed. I guess that’s why they were able to do all these episodes and keep going; they were just able to pull wool over people’s eyes very well. ‘I’m gonna catch a nail. Gets shot by a nail gun. Forget me trying to catch the nail. I actually got hit by the nail gun and it wasn’t fake, you’ve been MIND FREAKED!’

Wednesday, April 10th, 2014…

I awoke to Twilight prodding my side with her forehoof. “What?” I groaned, rolling over.

“Did you forget? Today’s your big day!” she squealed in excitement and I was plagued by the memory that today… was the day that I started magic… ahem, ‘real’ magic.

“I don’t feel like pulling rabbits out of hats today,” I grumbled.

“That’s not the magic we’ll be practicing,” she informed me. I groaned to myself.

“Well, I hate to inform you, but… I don’t like card tricks either,” I stated and I heard her give an irritated huff.

“Real magic, not tricks,” she told me and I rolled over to face her.

Rubbing my forehead attentively, I looked to her. “Feel this,” I ordered her but she was caught off guard by the request. I took her hoof and rubbed it against my forehead. “Feel that?” I asked and she nodded. “I don’t have a horn, hence, no ‘real’ magic,” I told her then rolled over again.

“Ah-ah-ahh, I don’t think so. Now come along, we have a lot to cover today,” she ordered me, grabbing my body in a levitation spell and carrying me away.

I looked to my dog as I floated away. “Lassie, save me!” I teased playfully and my Collie yipped in excitement, thinking it was time to play. As Twilight brought me up the stairs, I grabbed hold of the railing.

I heard her give effortful grunts as she tried to pull me along. Suddenly the wooden railing snapped and I looked at it with a pale expression. ‘That was a nice railing,’ I silently thought.

We exited the home and I looked to Twilight. “Why don’t you teach Spike magic as well?” I asked but her answer seemed a lot easier than I thought.

“He isn’t my student,” she replied as she sat me down in front of a well cooked meal. It was eggs and toast with a margarine dish. There was also some pistachios and sliced oranges along with proper utensils.

“Oh hey! Thanks,” I thanked her before reaching for the fork, but was surprised when she lightly slapped my hand away. “What?!” I asked irritably and she got a teacher look on her face.

“If you’re going to learn about magic, you’ll have to have a need for it. Use a levitation spell to eat your breakfast,” she told me and I raised my eyebrow.

“But the thing is… I don’t ‘Need’ to use magic to eat my breakfast. Watch,” I stated as I went to pick up the fork again but she grabbed hold of it in her magical aura and slapped my hand with it. “EH!” I gasped, pulling my hand back.

“Use levitation to eat.” She spoke in a very teacher-esque voice that was already driving me insane. I finished school so that I’d never have to do it again, now I was stuck learning about levitation.

“How? If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a horn,” I told her. Just as I said that, Lassie hopped up on the table and began to eat the eggs.

“Hey!” I gasped and went to reach for the eggs but Twilight pulled my hands away.

“Equestria is flowing with magic. Even some earth ponies have learned to use magic,” she informed me and I scoffed.

“Yeah? Name one,” I challenged but her answer was so quick it threw me off balance.

“Pinkie Pie. She has a sense that alerts her to… things,” she replied and I fell onto my back with a groan. “You better hurry, Lassie is almost done with those eggs,” she teased. She was being so playfully cruel that it wasn’t funny.

“Okay, let’s pretend for a second that I might be able to somehow cast magic. How do I do a levitation spell?” I asked.

“It’s simple really. All you need to do is picture that object in your mind and grasp it with your thoughts. Then you should be able to do what you please with it. Levitation is one of the most basic magic spells.” It sounded easier to say than to do, but Lassie was already onto the toast and my stomach was grumbling.

I fidgeted for a second then closed my eyes. ‘Okay think… fork!’ I thought to myself then pictured a fork. The fork was silver and looked just like a plain fork. I tried to think of the fork lifting into the air and glanced a peak at the real life fork, only to be disappointed. The real fork hadn’t even moved a millimeter, and Lassie was slurping up the butter on the saucer.

“It didn’t work,” I stated.

“Try again. Focus, make it move with your mind,” she instructed me.

“Man… this magic shit is tough…” I muttered then crawled onto my belly and gave the fork a cold stare with squinted eyes. “Okay you little fuckin shit…” I clenched my eyes shut and pictured the fork in front of me.

Everything seemed to visualize and I tried to imagine it to be levitating into the air… but I couldn’t. I clenched my eyes harder, trying to make it lift into the air but it still wouldn’t.

“Come on you little fucker…” I hissed.

“Try not to be so angry. Focus… and please don’t swear so much,” Twilight told me. I grunted several times before collapsing my posture with a gasp.

I opened my eyes to see that Lassie had eaten what she wanted, leaving only the orange slices. The fork… still hadn’t moved. “This is hopeless,” I muttered and Twilight sighed.

“You can do anything you can put your mind to. You just need to actually put your mind into doing it,” she informed me.

“I’d like to have some breakfast,” I replied and reached for the oranges but she again lightly slapped my hand away. Putting my mind to it, I reached harder and she was forced to slap me harder to stop my advance.

“Evan, stop it!” she ordered and my stomach growled its reply.

“What he said,” I told her and she groaned while burying her face into her hooves.

“Why can’t you just listen to me? Just once I’d like you to listen and not be immature,” she said with a pout and I rolled my eyes. ‘Yeah, cause this is immature… well, I guess it is a little, but considering she’s trying to teach me to actually lift things with my mind…’ My thoughts trailed off and the tray of food was levitated away.

“I’ll get some more food and we’ll try again,” she said in a very down voice.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized and she looked back to me. “I’m sorry for being a dick. I really am… it’s just weird. Back on my world there was no such thing as magic so I’m kind of sketchy about this,” I told her. Her face brightened into a small smile as she walked away.

My stomach grumbled again and I rolled over and saw Lassie eating some grass. I figured I’d give it a try and maybe tie over my hunger for the moment. I chomped the grass, biting off few long strands… “Ech… this tastes horrible,” I muttered. Lassie’s back arched as she hacked, gagging up some chewed up grass puke. “That’s nasty, dog,” I whispered.

“Man… I feel like… like…” My thoughts searched for someone in my memories who was usually hungry like I was. “I feel like Goku right now. I could just eat a horse… or a pony,” I snickered and Lassie whined out a report.

“It’s a joke. I wouldn’t really eat a pony,” I told her but she whined out a denied yipp, stating that wasn’t what she was asking.

“Hungry? I’m hungry because-” But she cut me off again, yipping something else. “Oh! Goku? He’s this guy from a Japanese show I used to watch when I was younger. He was a human-like alien from another world with superpowers. And he was always hungry, kind of like me,” I replied and she barked out something else.

“Well he just kind of was… always hungry,” I told her but she pawed at me and yipped again. “Oh, his powers? Well he… was super strong and could do Ki attacks. It was super awesome and any kid who watched that TV show has tried to do a Kamehameha at least once. And if they say they haven’t tried, then they’re a liar.” I laughed and Lassie yipped again.

“Well the Kamehameha was this awesome Ki blast and they always dramatized it ‘cause the user would be like ‘KA… MEH…HA… MEH… HAAAA! And then they’d do a super blast wave and every time they used it, it seemed to get more and more dramatic.” I snickered as I remembered the countless times that it just kept getting more and more suspenseful every time it was used in the Dragon Ball Z series.

She barked again but I rolled my eyes. “No, I can’t do it. I’m not from the Dragon Ball TV show,” I replied but again she yipped a reply. “Yeah, Twilight said I could do anything I put my mind to, but I couldn’t even lift a fork. So there’s no way I’m doing some Ki blast,” I stated.

She barked but I shook my head. “I’m not going to try it. I’ll look like an idiot,” I told her but she yapped at me. “Okay fine. Kamehameha,” I said in a very monotonous voice, not bothering to do the actions and still lying on the ground.

Lassie whined and pawed at me continuously. “Fine!” I stood up and did a sloppy motion that didn’t even closely resembled a Kamehameha and muttered out the phrase, “Kamehameha.” But again Lassie saw through my lazy attempt to try and kill the topic.

“I’m not doing it Lassie. It was something from a TV show. It doesn’t work in real life,” I told her but she barked at me, somehow knowing I hadn’t done it properly. “Fine,” I said then stood in a proper posture.

I extended my arms to full length and cupped my hands, left above right. “Ka-meh,” I began, then stepped my right foot back as I swung my arms to my right side. “Ha-meh,” I continued then shot my arms forwards. “HA!” I finished the technique and, like I had predicted, nothing happened.

“See? I told you so,” I stated then laid back down but Lassie wouldn’t let it die. She began pawing at my side, barking all the while in her whiny puppy voice. “I know that in the show they were more dramatic, but I’d look like a dufus doing it like in the movies,” I muttered but still she wouldn’t let me relax.

“FINE! If I try it at least once ‘properly,’ will you leave me alone?” I asked irritably and she nodded. I stood up with a groan just as Pinkie Pie hopped along.

“HIYAH EVAN! Whatcha doin?” she asked in her usual bubbly voice.

“Learning magic,” I stated and she squealed.

“OOOH! Can I watch?” she asked and I groaned. ‘Yeah sure, why not invite the whole town to watch me make an idiot of myself?’ I thought a very snide remark but kept it to myself.

“If you want but it’s not exciting,” I told her then turned to face the outskirts. “Well… here goes nothing,” I muttered and Lassie pawed at me while barking something in dog language. “Yes I know! Serious,” I said in an irritated voice. As if she was actually getting me to try this. It would never work.

I dangled my hands to get ready, stepped my feet into the right position, and then brought my arms forward in a very fluid motion as I straightened my arms to full length. My hands cupped, left over right, as I began the technique… ‘God I feel like such a retard doing this. I can’t believe I used to do this when I was younger,’ I thought to myself, remembering all the times my brother and I would have make believe Dragon Ball Z fights.

My whole body tensed up and I began to shake. “KA-MEH,” I roared, gaining the attention of several ponies nearby. I kept my muscles flexed as I strained, cocking my elbows and swinging my hands to my right side while my right foot stepped back.

“HA-MEH,” I yelled out but now the ponies who had noticed me just rolled their eyes and stopped paying attention. I felt something tingling in my hands but didn’t bother looking; it was probably nothing. A blue light started forming behind my vision and I gulped.

I felt bits of debris tumbling about beneath me while dust was being fumed up around my body. My eyes went wide as I realized something. Something… magical was in the palms of my hands. I felt energy being built up in the palms of my hands. 'OH SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!' I thought frantically. I didn’t know what else to do so I just shot my hands forwards while stomping my right foot forwards and, like the technique demanded, then yelled, as loud as I could, “HAAAA!”

I felt a burst of something being released from my palms with tremendous force, to which I had never known. My right foot dug into the ground as a furious blue blast wave was emitted from the sphere of energy that lingered on my palms. The blast eradicated the ground beneath it, creating a long crater that was sliced into the earth as the blast wave ripped down my sights.

A massive force of wind gusted fumes of dirt behind me and along my sides as I winced, roaring loudly to try and keep my arms extended.

Finally, after several hundred yards, the beam rose into the air and vanished into a rain of sparkly rainbow dust. Lassie barked in excitement and Pinkie’s jaw dropped, almost like it had unhinged. Both her and I just continued staring in shock of what had just happened.

I stood, in the final pose of the Kamehameha, baffled that I had somehow managed that. “Pinkie?” I asked in a stunned voice, still in the pose.

“Uh-huh?” she asked back, in a dazed voice.

“You just saw that too, right?” I asked.

“Uh-huh,” she replied and my jaw slacked open. I had done it… I had done what every Dragon Ball fan had always wanted to do.

“EVAN!” screamed a voice and I cringed.

“Twilight… did you jus-” But she cut me short.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!” she screamed, though it sounded as if what I had done was bad.

“Uhm… magic,” I stated plainly but she was still scorned about… whatever it was she was scorned about.

“Do you realize what you just did?” she asked and I nodded.

“Uh… yeah. I just did magic… oh, and I launched a Kamehameha wave which was totally-” But she cut me off once again.

“You… a what? Never mind. EVAN!” she screamed and I flinched, her screaming having hurt my eardrums.

“Ouch! Twilight, not so loud. I'm right here,” I muttered.

“Evan, you have no idea what you just did, do you?” she shouted and I nodded.

“Yeah. I launched a Kamehameha. It was totally awesome. Lassie, props to you for nagging at me to do it,” I said as I knelt down and gave my dog props.

“NO! You didn’t just do that!” she yelled and I nodded.

“Uhh… yeah, I-just-did-that,” I told her scientifically but she wouldn’t have any part of my joking.

“Evan, this is serious!” But again I made a comical joke out of it.

“I know right. I just performed the first ever, real life Kamehameha… ever,” I said in an upbeat tone.

“No! What you’ve done is launched a destructive magical energy blast!” Twilight yelled scornfully and I shrugged.

“So? You wanted me to learn magic. Oh, and I take back everything I said about magic. It’s totally kickass,” I said truthfully, but she was still more pissed off than a shook up hornet’s nest.

“Evan, for once in your life take something seriously!” she screamed and my face went pale. She was pretty mad. “Destructive energy blasts are highly illegal!” she yelled and I gulped. “I can guarantee that Celestia will be here any minute and she’ll be angrier than I am.”

“Oh man… not Lord Death,” I muttered, having only met her on brief encounters and only remembering her as a sort of cloud that just looms over me like some sort of death cloud.

Twilight began to fret. “Oh no… oh this is terrible! What will Celestia say? She’ll probably strip me of my princess title and lock you away in a deep dark dungeon.” Twilight continued to fret while Lassie simply tilted her head in confusion. Within seconds Twilight was rocking in a fetal position. I looked down to my pooch.

“See what you got me into?” I asked and then turned back to Twilight. “I did a magic trick so can I have some food?” I asked immaturely but obviously Twilight was still moody about this. “Oh calm down, Celestia won’t strip you of your princess thing and she won’t lock me away.” I tried to assure her everything would be fine but she was still freaking out.

I just rolled my eyes and looked to Pinkie. “Food?” I asked and the pink mare nodded.

“Oh yeah. I always keep spare food nearby for spare food emergencies,” she stated then dug a small hole in the ground and pulled out a small chest. Opening it, she revealed to me some chunks of sushi with some toast and eggs.

“Excellent. Thanks Pinkie,” I thanked her then thought about how weird it was that she randomly had this food here. I poked it and was amazed to find that it was warm. ‘Man, that’s just creepy.’ I kept my thoughts to myself and started eating while Twilight sat fretting and Lassie danced around with Pinkie, singing a song about the magic of friendship.

Soon enough, a carriage being pulled by royal guard pegasi arrived and Celestia stepped out of her air-carriage-throne. Poking her hoof into the burnt dirt and licking it, she mouthed her tongue around with a suspicious detective look on her face.

“Indeed,” she whispered then walked over to the fretting princess. “What happened?” Celestia asked in her deep, regal voice.

“Princess, I know it was wrong but I-” Twilight began but I cut her short.

“I was all like: KAMEHAMEHA!” I informed her, doing the pose but not actually trying to launch a blast. Celestia raised an eyebrow while Twilight continued to try and apologize.

The guard quickly formulated and I realized that I was without a gun. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” I swore and Celestia motioned for her guards to stand down.

“How long did it take you to master this… Ka-meh-ha-meh-ha?” she asked curiously.

“Depends? How long have I known about it, or how long have I tried to do it?” I asked.

“Both,” Celestia replied and Twilight was lost in confusion.

“Well… I’ve known about the Kamehameha since I was about six, so about… twelve years. But I learned to do it in about three minutes,” I told her but Lassie barked at me. “Right. Lassie kept bugging me to do it and I was like: No. And she kept bugging me so finally I was like: FINE! So I did it,” I told her and Lassie nodded.

“Celestia, please don’t arrest him and put him in a dungeon. He had no idea of Equestria’s laws towards destructive blasts,” Twilight pleaded but Celestia ignored her for the most part.

“You are truly magnificent. Twilight, you have definitely been training him well.” Celestia expressed her feelings then looked to me. “Though what you did was highly illegal, I will let it slide just this once. Just as long as you promise to never do that again,” she told me and the thought brought up memories of the incident with Trixie and Tristan.

“As long as it isn’t absolutely necessary,” I bargained and Celestia chuckled.

“I don’t believe a situation like that would occur in your lifetime,” she told me and I nodded.

“I promise to never do that unless absolutely necessary,” I promised and Celestia nodded then patted Twilight on the head.

“You definitely chose an amazing student Twilight. Don’t ever forget how lucky you are to have him,” she informed the young alicorn and then mounted her throne. With that, she was off.

Twilight stood up into a proper posture and just blinked several times, probably shocked about all that had just happened. “That-” Twilight began and I finished her statement.

“Went better than you thought.” She nodded. I casually shrugged and grabbed a piece of paper and began constructing a note.

Dear Princess Twilight,
Today I learned that perhaps some things aren’t what they seem, or rather, aren’t as ridiculous as they seem and sometimes you just need to give it a try before judging it.

Your Faithful student,
Burdy
P.S. Magic kicks ass!

I handed her the note as I began to walk away. “Huh?” she asked nopony in particular and took a brief look at the note. “Where are you going?” she asked me and I shrugged.

“I’m gonna go get something to eat. Wanna tag along?” I asked before turning and walking with no particular destination in mind. After a brief moment, Twilight raced to my side as we walked towards the great unknown destination together…

Author's Notes:

Okay, before anyone gets the thought that I'm going to turn Burdy into a super sayian or something, I'm not going down that route. I'm not going to make him a super sayian with godly powers, and what I won't ruin it but later on it'll be explained that what he did wasn't actually a Kamehameha because the properties of what he did and a Kamehameha are different. Just so no-one is like: "GREAT! Now hes going to become a super sayian, I'm out"
Other than that, sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Editor finished doing his magic to the story (No pun indended... actually it was fully intended)
And gave me the edited version on Wednesday but I was a little less than enthusiastic this week. Something about working 14 hours a day minus lunch break and only having five hours of sleep makes me cranky...
Anyway, I hope you all had a fantastic holiday and I wish you all the best in the new year, cheers eh!