Mandatory zombie chapter

“Ok, I think we have it,” said Atrox, looking at the sheet of paper.

   He and the first member of his new army, Derpy Hooves, had spent all day working in the technological basement of the Dark Conqueror. Finally, after hours of trial and error, they had finally come up with good results.

   They had designed the flag of the New Empire.

   “Let’s revise it again, shall we?” said Atrox. “The flag will have a red background...”

   “... with a muffin in the center,” completed Derpy.

   “Correct. And the muffin will be on fire...”

   “... and it will have four arms, carrying a sword in each one.”

   “Except the right upper arm, which will carry an axe.”

   “And wings! The muffin will have gray wings, just like me!”

   “And wings,” the Dark Conqueror looked at the sketch they had drawn, proud of himself. “Much better than my old flag. Good work, Derpy!”

   “Thanks, sir!” the gray pegasus did a military salute.

   “What time is it?” Atrox looked at one of the computers, which had a clock installed. “Oh, look how late it is. I’m sorry to have kept you down here for so long, Derpy.”

   “It’s ok, it was fun!”

   “Tomorrow we will design the uniforms for my lieutenants. Come on, Derpy, let’s go to the upper level.”

   They abandoned the basement, turning off the lights, and they took the elevator, which lifted them to Atrox’s house.  

   “It’s nighttime already,” said the Dark Conqueror, looking through the window.

   “I’d better get going,” said Derpy.

   “True. See you tomorrow. Have nice dreams.”

   “You too.”

   The pegasus left the house, and Atrox sat on his couch, to rest a bit.

   Then, not even seven seconds later, Derpy returned, accompanied by Twilight, who looked really worried. She closed the door after her, and used his magic to move the couch (Atrox included) and block the entrance.

   “Can I help you on something?” asked the Dark Conqueror, confused.

   “It’s terrible!” said the unicorn, panting. “Quick, we have to block the windows, too! We can’t allow them to enter!”

   “Who?”

   Atrox stood up and looked through the window, again. Then, he looked at Twilight and asked:

   “Why is there an army of zombie ponies coming this way?”

   “It’s my fault!” lamented Twilight. “I was practicing my magic in the Everfree Forest, to not hurt anypony, and I guess I made some mistake while reading the spell, and I summoned a horde of undead!”

   “Well, what’s the problem?” shrugged Atrox. “Just unsummon them.”

   “I can’t! The book with the counterspell is my house!”

   “Wait a second... You went to practice with a spell that could potentially call a horde of zombies, and you didn’t thought of bringing the counterspell with you?”

   “No time for details! You have to help me to reach the Library!”

***

   Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres...

   Granny Smith took the bottle of cider and drank all of its content in three gulps. Then, cleaning her old lips with a hoof, the matriarch took her faithful shotgun and blew up the head of the nearest zombie.

   “Take that, you wormbag!”, she shouted, from behind the barricade.

   Big Mac was firing the machine gun he had inherited from his father, while Applejack had a shotgun of her own.

   “I want to use a real shotgun too!” grumbled Applebloom.

   “No, Applebloom,” said her sister. “You’re still too little. You have to use the shotgun for foals we bought for you.”

   “But I’m not a foal, I’m a big pony!”

   “Applebloom, obey your big sister.”

   The little filly had no other choice but to obey and conform with her My First Boom Stick. It was pink and it had a flower painted in the stock.

***

   Meanwhile, back at Ponyville...

   Several zombies exploded, and their fragments flew in the air. Atrox was firing energy beams through his eyes and hands, opening the way for Twilight and Derpy. The undead ponies were all around them, moaning:

   “Flesh...”

   “Brains...”

   “Send... more... paramedics...”

   Atrox created a sphere of shadows on his hand.

   “I call this one... The Acheron Ball!”

   And he threw it to a group of zombies, who exploded and became ashes.

   “This is hilarious!” laughed the Dark Conqueror. “I love zombies! I love playing with zombies!”

   “This is not a game!” said Twilight.

   “Speak for yourself. I feel like that time when I invaded Universe Z... Each planet was filled with undeads! I had so much fun making things explode there...”

   “Isn’t one of your old friends a zombie?”

   “Do you mean Charon Revenant? He’s not a zombie, he’s an Undead Knight, totally different. He’s polite, elegant, and never tried to eat the brain of anybody... Oh, look, more zombies there! I’ll send them to space with a Kamehameha!”

   “No! We have to reach the Library!”

   “You never let me do anything fun...”

   “Look!” said Derpy, pointing at the sky with a hoof. “There’s Rainbow Dash!”

   The blue pegasus crossed the night sky and descended at highspeed, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. He landed in the middle of a quite big group of undead ponies, causing a seven-coloured explosion and disintegrating all of them.

   Rainbow Dash crawled out from the smoking remains of the zombies.

   “Impressive,” said Atrox. “How many have you beaten? I already have thirty two.”

   “Only?” smiled Dash. “I’ve rainnuked seventy-eight of them so far.”

   “What?! Outrageous! The Dark Conqueror will not be defeated by a pony! Where are more zombies? I’ll kick their rotten plots!”

   “Not if I do it first!”

   “Enough!” shouted Twilight. “We have no time for competitions! We have to reach the Library!”

   Atrox and Rainbow grunted, unhappy.  

***

   Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique...

   “Get away from me!” screamed Rarity, defending herself with one of her own mannequins.

   “Flesh...” said the zombie. It was a pegasus, but their wings were too damaged, so he couldn’t fly. “Lungs... Kidneys...”

   “Ugh, so disgusting!” and Rarity hit the zombie with the mannequin, launching the undead against the wall.

   Opal was calmly sleeping in her basket. Apparently, the undead had no interest in animals.

   More zombie ponies were entering through the door, but suddenly, a big ball of brown fur came out of nowhere and slashed them all to pieces.

   “Rarity, are you ok?” asked Fluttershy, embraced to the neck of the bear.

   “Fluttershy? What are you doing up there?”

   “This is one of my friends. I asked him for help when those ugly things came to my house. I was so scared!”

   “Whatever, let me site!” and Rarity climbed the body of the bear, reaching the head.

***

   Meanwhile, at the Library...

   Atrox, Rainbow Dash and Derpy were waiting outside, with the mission to destroy any zombie that could approach the building. On the inside, Twilight was tirelessly searching for the book which contained the counterspell.

   “Come on...” mumbled Atrox, impatient. “Where are you, zombies? I have to surpass Rainbow Dash!”

   “He, he, he...” laughed the blue pegasus.

   “There they are!” shouted Derpy.

   A new group of undead ponies was approaching through the main road of the town.  It was quite big, more than any other they had seen up to that moment. The Dark Conqueror smiled, with his indigo aura electrifying the air. If he attacked first, if he could annihilate all those zombies in just one shoot, he would win Rainbow Dash!

   Then, a pink pony jumped out of nowhere.

   “Hi, guys!”

   “Pinkie?” aked Rainbow Dash. “What are you doing here, at this hour?”

   “I was taking my night walk.”

   “Whatever, step aside for a moment, please,” said Atrox. “I have to attack!”

   “Attack what? Are you playing some game?”

   “Pinkie this is serious,” said Dash, seeing that the zombies were getting closer. “Do what he says and step aside.”

   “Hey, Derpy’s here too! Hi, Derpy! How are you doing?”

   “Pìnkie, for the love of Celestia, run!”

   Too late. One of the zombies approached Pinkie Pie and bit her in the side. Dash gasped, her friend was going to turn into one of those undead abominations!

   But then, making a noise that sounded like a pop, the zombie transformed into a second Pinkie Pie.

   “Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. Who are you?”

   “I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you!”

   “Really? I’m Pinkie Pie too!”

   “What a coincidence!”

   The two Pinkies were so busy talking to each other, that they didn’t react when the other zombies bit them. However, every time an undead pony nibbled the pink flesh, he turned into a new Pinkie Pie, who was bitten by other zombies, who also turned into more Pinkie Pies; and so on and so forth.

   Eventually, the whole horde of ravaging undeads became a pink legion of happy bouncing ponies.

   “Pinkie...” whispered Dash, suddenly becoming pale. “My God... It’s full of Pinkies...”

   “Hi, Rainbow Dash!” said dozens of equally pitched voices.

   “Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!”  

   Then, Twilight came out from the Library, with a book levitating in front of her eyes.

   “I have it, guys! I’ve found the counterspell! Now we only need to-” she looked at Ponyville. She dropped the book. “Mother of Celestia...”

***

   Meanwhile, at Sugarcube Corner...

   “Ugh...” said Mr. Cake. “What’s all that noise?”

   The baker stallion got out of bed, yawning, and looked through the window to see what was the cause of that fuss. He remained staring at the streets for almost a minute, in silence.

   “What’s happening, dear?” asked Mrs. Cake.

   “Honey, do you remember that nightmare I used to have when Pinkie started to live with us? It has become real.”

***

   Meanwhile, at the Library... again...

   “What has happened?” asked Twilight, looking at the army of Pinkies.

   “I don’t know, but this is a disaster,” said Atrox. “There are no more zombies, so I can’t increase my score. You can be happy, Rainbow Dash. You’ve won this round... Rainbow Dash, are you ok?”

   The blue pegasus was curled in the ground, trembling.

   “We have to fix this somehow!” exclaimed Twilight.

   “Yes, I don’t want to conquer a world where everybody is the same,” said Atrox. “I did it once, and it was incredibly boring. Although, on the bright side, I only had to memorize one name for the entire population...”  

   “Hey, Pinkie Pie!”

   Dozens of heads turned back at the same time.

   “Yes, Twilight?” asked they, in perfect synchronization. Then, they blinked.

   “No, I mean the real Pinkie Pie. The first one.”

   “Oh, that’s me!” said one of them, raising a hoof.

   “Good. Now, Pinkie, I’ll try to fix this, but I need to know: how did you turned all the zombies into clones of yourself?”

   “Zombies? What zombies?”

   “Didn’t you noticed? Ponyville was invaded by undead ponies just minutes ago!”

   That was a mistake, Twilight. At the mere mention of those words, all the Pinkie Pies screamed, scared. They started to frantically run all over the place, smashing everything in their path, like a pink wave of destruction.

   “Stampede!” shouted Atrox. “Be careful! Oh... Oh, no!”

   The army of Pinkie Pies steamrolled the Dark Conqueror.

   “Aaaaaargh!”

   “Atrox, are you ok?” asked Twilight, once the Pinkie Pies went away. “Dear Celestia, he’s dead! The stampede has killed him!”

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   “What?!” shouted Atrox, standing up. “I die?! What kind of story is that, Scootaloo?!”

   “It’s my story,” said the little pegasus, in front of the class, holding a sheet of paper in her hooves. “Miss Cheerilee told us that we could write whatever we wanted.”

   “But nothing makes sense! Why is there an army of zombies under the Everfree Forest?! Why they turn into Pinkie Pies when they bite the original?! Why did you kill me?!” he looked around. “And why am I in this school, listening to your stories?!”

   “Don’t you remember?” said Sweetie Belle. “Miss Cheerilee got sick, and she asked you to take care of us for today.”

   “Oh, yeah, that’s right...”

   “Can I continue?” asked Scootaloo, impatient. “I want to get to the ending, it’s the most awesome part!”

   “Let me guess: Rainbow Dash saves the day, right?”

   Scootaloo frowned.

   “Yes,” she admitted. “Rainbow Dash saves the day...”

   “Oh, what a shock!”

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   “Wait, wait, wait...” said the brother of Alpha Scorpii. “So, at the end it’s just a story made up by Scootaloo?”

   “Yes,” said Alpha Scorpii.

   “Don’t you think that you’re teasing your readers by doing that?”

   “I told them to ‘expect the unexpectable’, remember?”

   “But it doesn’t make sense: how can Scootaloo know the concept of Kamehameha?”

   “I guess they have their own version of Dragon Ball in Equestria, or something like that.”

   “Ok, but how could she know about Charon Revenant? Scootaloo never met him! And besides, the ‘it was just a story made up by a kid’ has already been done by South Park.”

   “Yes. So what?”

   “I can’t believe you stopped working on my story to write this garbage,” said Francisco.

   “Hey, who gave you permission to become real? Go back to the computer!”

   “And what are you gonna do next?” asked the brother of Alpha Scorpii. “A chapter in which everything turns to be just a dream at the end? Or one in which Atrox wakes up turned into a woman for no reason.?”

   “I don’t know. Bring me my Pinkie Pie plushie, please. It helps me to think.”

   “It’s just a cushion which you painted in pink.”

   “Shut up!”

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   To be continued... maybe. Next Chapter: Atrox strikes again! Estimated time remaining: 17 Minutes