It’s not easy to build an empire...

   It’s not easy to build an empire...

   There was a new house in Ponyville. Placed outside the actual town, just like Sweet Apple Acres or Fluttershy’s cottage, it was quite noticeable, with the peculiar shape of a skull. On the inside, Atrox, the Dark Conqueror, was trying to put his life in order. That was his second day on Equestria, and he still hadn’t conquered anything! That had to change, and quickly!

   The good news: his house, the only room from his old fortress which Luna hadn’t destroyed, was the attic of the Castle of Doom, a little warehouse for every kind of objects.

   The bad news: most of those objects were junk. Most of them...

   “Ah, my To Do List!” said Atrox, picking a notebook. “Good, at least I’ll be able to keep track of the things I’ve already done, to not repeat them. Let’s see...”

   And he started to read:

To Do List by Atrox, the Dark Conqueror

Master the Forbidden Magic. Done.

Build a magitek starfleet. Done.

Use the magitek starfleet to conquer the solar system where I was born. Done.

Use the magitek starfleet to conquer other solar systems. Done.

Buy new curtains for the Castle of Doom.

Make a movie about me, starring me. Done.

Watch the movie in the theatre. Force everyone to pay the entry, except me. Don’t forget the popcorn. Done, done, and done.

Buy more chocolate cereals.

Learn how to cook. Done.

Conquer an inhabited planet and rename it to ‘Ass’. Laugh at the inhabitants of Ass.

   Etcetera.

   Atrox turned the pages of the notebook with a nostalgic sigh. So many things done, so many things to do... He took a pencil and added, at the end of the list: ‘Search for the hero who imprisoned me, throw him into a volcano, then throw the volcano into a star, then throw the star into a black hole.’

   He put the notebook inside of a drawer, and continued to reorganize his possessions, clearing the center of the house. Then, with a red marking pen, Atrox drew a circle in the floor, filling it with strange magic symbols.

   Somebody knocked at the door.

   “Can we come in?” asked a voice. Atrox identified it as the voice of the purple unicorn.

   “We’ve brought you a welcome cake!” said a second voice. It was Derpy.

   Atrox opened the door, allowing the two ponies to enter in his home.

   “Oh, chocolate cake!” he smiled, taking the present. “Thank you!”

   “I think that we started on the wrong hoof,” said Twilight. “So, we’ve come to give you the official welcome to Ponyville.”

   “You have the hope that this act of kindness and neighborliness is going to stop me from conquering Equestria, don’t you?” inquired Atrox.

   “Uhm... Actually, yes.”

   “Well, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen,” the Dark Conqueror left the cake in a table. “In fact, you come in good time. I’m about to summon my old lieutenants! They will help me to take over your world!”

   Twilight rolled her eyes.

   “You can stay, if you want,” Atrox grabbed two chairs and approached them to the table. “Can I offer you something? Water? Milk? Tea? I don’t have coffee, I’m sorry.”

   “I want orange juice!” said Derpy, immediately sitting in one of the chairs.

   “Orange juice, good. And for you, Twilight?”

   The unicorn sighed and sat on the other chair, asking for a glass of milk. She was a bit curious to see what Atrox was going to summon.

   The Dark Conqueror served the drinks to his two guests, and then he approached the red circle in the floor.

   “My army is divided in several legions, scattered through the Multiverse,” he explained, with a smile on his black face. “I’ll now summon the leader of each one of them. Once I’ve reunited all my old comrades at my side, we’ll start the conquest of Equestria!” he raised his hands. “First, I summon the head of my Insectoid Legion, from Universe 304, born on the planet Thramas; Lieutenant Zyghack!”

   There was an explosion of magic and smoke inside of the circle, and a creature materialized from thin air: it looked kinda like a giant wingless cicada, bipedal and taller than Atrox himself. It had four arms: the upper ones ending in pincers, and the lower two in hands. It also had two enormous, disturbing red compound eyes, as well as drooling fangs.

   “Lord Atrox?” asked the creature. “Is that you?”

   “Ah, I see you remember me,” smiled the Dark Conqueror, pleased, crossing his arms.

   “Amazing! You’re exactly as my grandfather described you!”

   “Uh... what?”

   “I’m so excited!” the cicada applauded with his pincers, squeaking like a fangirl. “Your legend has passed down in my family for generations! I was hoping to meet you someday!”

   “Wait a second, aren’t you Zyghak, the lieutenant of my Insectoid Army?”

   “Well...” the cicada blushed. “I’m Zyghack, but not your lieutenant. I’m actually his last descendant, Zyghack the 45th.”

   ‘Have they been naming their children Zyghack for forty-five generations?’ thought Twilight, raising an eyebrow.

   “Well, it makes sense,” said Atrox. “I’ve been imprisoned for several millennia, I guess all of my original lieutenants died long ago. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be as good soldier as your ancestor was! I need the help of my old forces to conquer this world of ponies!”

   Atrox pointed at Derpy and Twilight.

   “Oh, they are so cute!” said the cicada.

   “Thanks...” blushed Twilight.

   “Prepare yourself, my friend!” continued Atrox. “The Insectoid Legion shall rise one more time, and...!”

   But Zyghack was scratching the back of his head with a pincer, with a sorry look on his insectoid face.

   “Yeah... about that...” he said. “I’m afraid we’re not a legion anymore...”

   “What?!”

   “Remember those giant magitek portals? The ones that allowed your starships to go from one universe to another? They stopped working when you were defeated, so each legion was left separated from the others. We tried to seize control of Universe 304, but I’m afraid we’re good just at following orders, not at giving them. Also, the economy of 304 was in a pretty bad shape, there was a threat of recession, so... we dismantled the starfleet of the Insectoid Legion, including the portals, and we mounted an intergalactic fast food chain.”

   “What?!”

   “I’m deeply sorry, Master...”

   “But... but your fast food franchise controls Universe 304, right?”

   “Actually... no. We share the the business with other two franchises. We have a common syndicate.”

   “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

   “And, Master...” Zyghack blushed again. “I don’t want to be bad-mannered... but you just summoned me while I was in my turn, so... could you please take me back? I can’t get fired, I really need the money. I’m still paying the mortgage of my house.”

   “Oh, yes, I’m sorry!” Atrox wasn’t lying, he was really sorry. “Wait, I’ll write you a note so they don’t fire you.”

   The Dark Conqueror gave Zyghack a sheet of paper, then apologized for the troubles, and then he sent him back to Universe 304.

   “Derpy,” whispered Twilight, starting to suspect where things were going. “Maybe we should to Sugarcube Corner for more chocolate ice cream.”

   “It doesn’t matter!” exclaimed Atrox, who still hadn’t lost his spirit. “I have many more forces at my disposal! This time, I’ll call the Beast Legion!” he rubbed his hands and laughed. “The Beast Legion is composed entirely by a race of humanoid wolfs from planet Selenna, in Universe 25. They’re fierce, bloodthirsty warriors with an incredible strength!” he raised his hands. “Come to me, leader of the Beast Legion, Lieutenant Likaos!”

   There was another explosion inside the magic circle. Twilight was expecting a three-meter tall wolf monster with sharp fangs and yellow soulless eyes, or something like that; but what appeared in the center of the circle was a sea cucumber.

   “The heck?” asked the Dark Conqueror.

   “Oh, you must be Lord Atrox,” said the sea cucumber. “It’s nice to meet you, after having heard so much about you.”

   “Uh... Nice to meet you, too... whoever you are.”

   “I’m Likaos the 45th.”

   “But... but you’re a... I mean, you should be a giant wolf...”

   “Oh, yes, that... You’ll see, a few centuries ago, our species evolved into sea cucumbers.”

   There was a dead silence for a few seconds.

   “Really?” asked Atrox. “I mean... Sea cucumbers, really? Why?”

   “That’s the miracle of evolution: you never know what you’re gonna be next!”

   “Um...” Atrox took off his helmet and scratched his head. “I’m not an expert on the subject, but I think the probabilities of a mammal creature to naturally evolve into a sea cucumber are very, very low...”

   “Well, do you remember the magitek starfleet that you brought down to our planet? It filled everything with its magic radiations, and when you’re in an environment full of magic, these weird things tend to happen.”

   “I’m sorry about that. I can try to fix you.”

   “Actually, I think everyone in my planet likes to be a sea cucumber. It’s a better life than being a battle-loving half-sentient half-feral beast, much less stressing.”

   “Oh... ok...”

   “I can try to convince my brothers to fight for you one more time, but honestly, I don’t think that an army of talking sea cucumbers is going to be very useful.”

   “No, not really. No offense.”

   “Non taken. However, I think I’m dehydrating to death right now. If you don’t mind, could you send me back to my planet?”

   “Sure, sorry about that.”

   And the sea cucumber disappeared. The entire house was left in an awkward silence.

   “It doesn’t matter!” exclaimed Atrox one more time, putting on his helmet. “I know someone who will return to my side as soon as I ask for it: Charon Revenant!”

   “Other of your lieutenants?” asked Twilight.

   “No, he was my right hand,” the Dark Conqueror smiled again. “One of the deadliest warriors I’ve ever met, an unstoppable machine of destruction! He’s an Undead Knight, which means that he should be still around after all these years!” he raised his arms in front of the circle. “I summon you, Black Sword of Universe 100, Charon Revenant!”

   Another explosion took place, this one stronger and more spectacular than the others. A figure appeared inside the circle, again taller than Atrox, and surrounded by a terrible aura of dread and desperation. Twilight and Derpy gulped. Unlike the previous two, that one looked serious.

   He had an impressive black armor, with big spikes in shoulders that looked like human skulls. The armor was filled with motifs of bones, ravens and snakes. His face, partially hidden by a demonic helmet, was skinny, rotten, and skeletal. His eyes were just two tiny red dots in the empty eye sockets. In his belt, he had a black sword which looked like if it had been forged in the fires of Hell itself.

   “Welcome back, my old friend!,” said Atrox. “It’s good to see a familiar face, after so many years!”

   “My lord...” said Charon Revenant, with a deep voice that sounded like if it was coming from the Afterlife, and not from the nice one, precisely.

   “I have a new world to conquer, my faithful champion. Can I count with your invincible sword one more time?”  

   The Dark Conqueror and the Undead Knight looked at each other for a few seconds. Twilight gulped, Charon Revenant was obviously going to join Atrox, and he looked dangerous. The unicorn was sweating. With that armored bahamut on his side, the Dark Conqueror would become a true menace! Nobody in Equestria would be able to face him!

   Were they doomed?

   “I am a Buddhist now,” explained Charon. “I do not fight anymore.”

   The awkward silence returned, this time unexplainably accompanied by the sound of crickets.

   “Whaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Atrox’s helmet fell on its own, and the Dark Conqueror pulled his hair, as black as the rest of his body. “But... But... You’re wearing a sword right now!”

   “It's for cutting the bread for my breakfast.”

   “Butbutbutbutbutbut...”

   “Actually, I was hoping for you to set free and summon me. I have waited a long time to give you this.”, the Undead Knight handed a sheet of paper to Atrox. It was a resignation letter. “I quit from your army. Sorry. You were a good boss.”

   The Dark Conqueror was foaming at the mouth.

   “If you could dismiss me now, I would be grateful. I left my oven on.”

   Mumbling some incoherences, the Dark Conqueror moved his hands, and Charon Revenant disappeared. Atrox sat on his own chair, between Twilight and Derpy, and started to smash his head against the table.

   “Um...” said the gray pegasus. “Should I go buy that chocolate ice cream?”

   They spent the rest of the afternoon watching as Atrox kept summoning his old lieutenants (their great-great-great-several times ‘great’ grandchildren, to be exact), only to discover that his Empire was gone, in every possible meaning of the word. Eventually, the Dark Conqueror erased the magic circle with a mop, took his To Do List, and crossed every Done word.

   “It seems that I have to start all over again,” he sighed. Then, he shook his head and added, with a renewed energy: “Well, it’s better this way! I’ll create a new Empire, starting here, in Equestria! It’ll be better, and more powerful!” he pointed at Twilight, theatrically. “Consider yourselves lucky, ponies, for you will witness the rebirth of the greatest force in the Multiverse!”

   “Whatever you say,” smiled Twilight. “Hey, I think Pinkie Pie was planning on giving you a welcome party in the Sugarcube Corner. We’ll go there now, to see it. Do you want come?”

   Atrox thought about it for a moment.

   “Sure, why not?” he shrugged.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   It seems that Fate is on the side of Twilight and her friends, for now. Deprived of his old army, Atrox is much less dangerous. However, his ambition is even greater than before. Be careful, little ponies! The frightening battle for Equestria has just started!

To be continued... maybe.

Next Chapter: Villain Recruitment 1: Job interviews Estimated time remaining: 38 Minutes