Have you ever wished to fly, truly dreamed of seeing the world? We all would love to see the skies, to dream and fly away. That is why we invented airplanes, after all? Ponies, however, seem to take it for granted, as if the fact that there are Pegasi justifies the flightless forms of their lesser breathren.

Unicorns are rather horny, and they can do shit with their pointy things that you or I could only do with about five miligrams of well crafter scopolamine. Then there are the Alicorns, gifted with the ability to both fly and be horny. They can fly around poking random ponies with their little spikes with no consequence, using their sheer abilities to convince everypony that they do in fact raise both the sun and the moon.

But what of the most ignored type there is? How many bronies out there would actually desire to become an Earth Pony? I mean sure, they'd jump on it in a heartbeat if it were their only option. But when offered the powers of flight or the skills of horning things, why would they want to just be a meagre Earth pony?

Pinkie Pie contemplated this as she shifted into Skyrim. She'd always wondered why she had to be born a unicorn, only to have a mere nub of a horn, too undeveloped to even become noticable. It granted her many forms of magic others could barely understand, but it was annoying in its own right. Who wants a full sized horn stuck in their brain? And they thought she was crazy.

"I haven't seen you before. Who are you?"

The distinctly pink mare took a moment to contemplate and consider changing her physical appearance for his benefit. It would be interesting to watch him blush if she popped up as a hippo with no clothes on. After all, we all have you fetishes. But no, Pinkie elected instead to follow the rules of the reality and work therein. Instead, she promptly turned herself into the first thing she could think of; a human woman with a crazy pink hairdoo.

"Hiya! My name's Pinkie! What's you favorite color?"

"Uh...puce?"

"Well then, Mister Puce, I'm sure we'll be the best of friends!"

"Don't call me that."

"Well, I normally end names like Dash with a nickname meme like Dashie, but that wouldn't work with a name like Puce. Imagine being called Pucecy or Pussy or something like that!"

Hadvar slapped his face at the remark. How could anypony stand to be around a mare like Pinkie Pie? The Stormcloak next to her nudged her withe-er, shoulders with his own to try and get her to hurry up. After all, they don't have all morning, do they?

"She's not on the list, Captain. What should we do?"

"Well, normally I don't try and execute innocent people, but with someone that hideous, we need an exception. She goes to the block!"

"By orders, Captain. I'm sorry, Prisoner. I hope that your remains are safely returned to Isengard."

"Isengard?"

"Yes, Isengard. You're a wizard, Pinkie."

"Is there a special school for wizards at Isengard?"

"Um...there's one in Winterhold if you feel like it. My brother Ogmund goes there. He's also contracted syphiliseragonereaAIDS from some Khajiit name Jizzy'argo or some such. It's a horrible venereal disease that only strikes cats and Nords."

"Oh, okay then. So I'm safe if anything happens between us."

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

"Okay."

The captain strode forwards with a strut, announcing, "Kill the first prisoner!" A nordic guy walked towards the block, and told some crazy lady with a robe to shut up about the "Eight Divines" or some such, and then asked for the big hulking beefcake with the ax to lop his head off. Since the black guy was in a good mood, he gave the guy his wish. After all, they only had all morning, right? Also, the Imperial Captain was amazing at sliding. Seriously, she just slid like four feet without even moving her feet!

"Next, the orc!"

Everyone looked around, wondering what the hell she was talking about. There weren't any orcs around as far as they could tell, but they supposed that she was just being blind. General Tulius edged next to his compatriot and muttered in her ear, "You really should go buy some glasses, there are no orcs here."

"I don't speak Idiot, general. I talking about the pink one."

"Oh, okay."

"Don't make me fetch the cattleprod!"

"Yes, Master."

"Good slave. Now let me do my stupid bitch shit."

"I hear and obey, Master."

With that, the witch lady looked back at the crowd of pointless soon-to-be-dead Stormcloaks and the one random pony-antro-human-thing with a critical eye.

"Next prisoner!"

"Nice and easy, hot stuff. To the block."

"Okie doke loki!"

With that, Pinkamena Diane Pie walked over to the block, and stuck her head right down at the same place that the last guy's was removed. This, of course, soiled her with used blood. They didn't even have the decency to clean up, but I suppose it didn't matter. With that, the dragon showed up and random shit happened. I'm not going to tell you the rest right now since I'll probably just make a fic about Pinkie going around trolling in Skyrim or some shit like that, so stfu.

And that, boys and girls, is why we don't slap mods onto a masterpiece like Skyrim.