"And that's when I said to that human guy at Guitar Center, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" He seemed really taken aback about me not wanting to buy the Epiphone LP, so instead I bought a keyboard with a synth to emulate the lasers I was going to fire at the White House. Of course, that was a bust since Osama told me not too. He had other plans for it, after all. Oh, you don't know who the hell Osama is, do you? Well, he's totally not a brony, nor was anyone else at that point. Do you know what it's like, Dashie, to try and not break a tortoises nose? It's like not having chocolate rain or other stupid meaningless internet memes shooting rainbows out my flank. By the way, is that what you do when you fly?"

Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkamina Diane Pie, wondering why the hell she still didn't understand the mare after being friends for almost ten months. It was absurd, trying to comprehend the inner mationations of the psychotic, mentally deluded, and obviously scizophrenic mare. Right then, she proceeded to catch up to the over-eager filly.

"Um...no?"

"NNOOO?! WAT THE HAY!!! Oh, I lost!"

"Pinkie..."

"What?"

"Just stahp."

"Oooo! I know, like playing red light, green light, right? Oh, that reminds me of the time that I went to the Powerpuff Girls world to find Tara Strong's right niple, but it turned out that all I had to do was look at Bubbles-"

Pinkie was rather abruptly cut off by a cyan hoof sticking firmly in her mouth. Her blue eyes widened when she saw the ferocious look on Rainbow's face. The rose coloured eyes really managed to accentuate her rather aggressive stance, and Pinkie felt oddly intimidated at the sight of it.

"Pinkie, what I'm about to do next will make you wonder why you ever wanted to be my friend..."

The pink mare started to feel a trickle emanating from her nethers as the cyan mare drew nearer, drawing in rather frighteningly. Dash suddenly threw her hooves around Pinkie's neck and pulled her into a tight kiss, pushing Pinkie down towards the ground. The pegasus almost seemed to be attacking her friend, trying to pull her into the tightest embrace possible. Her tongue darted into her friend's mouth, battling against the resistance she was recieving. It didn't take long, however, for Pinkie to start to relax into the kiss. After a few more moments, though it seemed like hours to the mares, Rainbow pulled back.

"That's for being my best friend, Pinkie," Rainbow stated, panting heavily as she got off from on top of Pinkie's waist. "If you ever need anything more...intimate, be sure to give me a call."

"How would I do that?"

"I don't know, break the fourth wall again?"

"Oh, that."

Suddenly, Rainbow's hoof connected with Pinkie's face, knocking her down with a resounding grunt. She felt her friend pummeling her, and somehow found herself both scared and oddly aroused. Was this what getting laid with a manticore felt like while eating a fudge sunday? Probably, with just a hint of pepper and Tony Stark.

"Please, Rainbow. MOAR!!!"

Soon enough, Pinkie's nose came, bleeding red globs of blood everywhere. Talk about your masochist. Anyways, soon after that, Rainbow walked away, a smirk donning her lips as Pinkie barely managed to let out a muffled "thank you" in passing. Soon enough, there was nothing left but poor old Pinkie and her missing gummy worms. :D

The day drew into night as Pinkie Pie attempted to think of what to do with the rest of her mundane and nearly pointless existence. It was rather odd, the way she took in ever single blow and resounding defeat with the fanfare of Buzz Aldwin playing in the background. Who was she if not Randy Jackson and his bass? Nothing, thats' what! Maybe ponies enjoyed beating her and kissing her and missing her and hating her and loving her and pissing on her teddy bear and stuff and shit and can I please stop doing this?

Now, for a commercial...nah. "Okay peoples!" Pinkie shouted at nothing. "Maybe you think I'm a worthless punching bag to rape and beat and kiss all you want. But I'm not! From here on out I'm going to be okie dokie loki with only doing what I think is right, and being a Fluttershy...er, doormat is not one of them! DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!" The pink mare had trouble not blowing her chest out with the sudden exhalation of all the gaseous elements in her respiratory system.

"I'll become a professor at Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns, whether you like it or not! And we'll all break fourth walls and stuff no matter what you say! I swear before the unholy cript of Sans Berdinardo that you shall not pass, you hear me?!"

And with that, Pinkamina Diane Pie broke the fourth wall and stepped through her gypsy portal into another world. A world filled with technicolor dream ponies and crystal ponies and dragons and no humans and Lyra and the cause of many fappings and stuff and shit and I seriously need to take a chill pill.

How anypony like Pinkie could resist the urge of the calling cupcakes and dradles is beyond even the depraved derp mind of myself and Discord's used Rolex's. Don't ask me how he got them, but there are enough fanboys for that badass lolipoop licker to make a ytp out of this. By the way, have you ever bothered to try eating hay? Try it out, I rather enjoyed it with a side of fish foods.