Taste of Change

Chap 2 - Too Long for my Taste

The faint sound of a ringing phone pulled me out of my dead-like appearance. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like they were glued together. I decided to leave them closed and tried to blindly get the nearest wireless phone. I used my almost non-existent energy to slowly move my arm half a meter to my left to grab the device, but still fast enough to click the talk button before the ringing stopped.

“Hello, Anthony?” The voice asked. I sloppily moved my arm towards my ear, trying to talk out of the side of my mouth. The muscles in my arm weren’t quite awake however. So instead, I moved my head to the side and placed it near the phone.

“Mmlohm...?” I mumbled through my hangover. I heard the voice on the other side laugh.

“That’s what I thought. For your birthday, you have the day off; your hangover wouldn’t allow you to come anyway.” It was Reginald, obviously. I knew that by his healthy laugh and the fact that he was giving me a day off. “Also, Mark is in his bed too. He gave me your keys so I could bring your car back. By the way, I’m bringing you some Advil. Don’t worry, you’ll feel better.” I acknowledged with a mumble.

“Okay, stay there, I’m coming.” He said before hanging up. I pressed the stop button and tried to move my arm to place the phone back. Apparently I used too much force and caused it to fly toward the back wall of my room. I shrugged it off and decided that I didn’t want to stay in bed all day, even though my body was asking to die on the mattress.

I forced my eyes open, dropping the defenses protecting me from a massive sense overflow coming from both of my ocular globes. “Tabarnak.” I swore. Though my eyelids tried desperately to close and repair the damage, I forced them to stay open. Fighting the urge to give in and close them. Unfortunately, my eyelids decided to go on the offensive. With its power, it started giving me the worst headache in the world...no, the worst migraine in the whole universe.

I grasped my head in pain, hoping that the Advil would be enough to stop this terrible attack from... myself. Suddenly, I realized that the only thing I did was open my eyes. I still had to stand up, walk and unlock the door before Reginald arrives. I sighed, my hand still on my head, and decided to do the all or nothing attempt.

I turned my body sideways, placing my hands under me. With one strong shove, I pushed my body off my bed. The result was my body hitting the floor with a loud thump. Luckily for me, I felt nothing from head to toe. For the next few hours, the only pain I would feel would be inside. And here I thought I wasn’t emo.

Slowly, but surely, I managed to stand up, although unsteady and sickened. I placed one leg in front of the other, hoping that I would not fall face first on the floor. My equilibrium was still alive and decided to help me through this conflict. It was a battle all around my body. My eyelids and brain raged against me and my semicircular canals.

I walked toward my bathroom to clean myself up a little. With pain and difficulty, I managed to look at my horrible face in the mirror. It still had Mike’s drawings of penises and stupidities. I tried to remember how to get rid of this ink from my face. I knew Mike had told me something about how to remove it. Wait, that’s right! I thought.

I took the rubbing alcohol bottle and placed some on an absorbing towel. Then I started rubbing the graffiti off my face. I was finally getting back the energy I lost during my hangover. Even though my headache was still running wild, I was in control and I tried to ignore the pain.

In few seconds, my face was finally cleaned from these obscene and crude things. Before placing the bottle back in my closet, I remembered the presence of another drawing. I dropped my pants and underpants, looking at the cake picture on my thighs.

I took the towel and rubbed my ass, quite literally. After rubbing for a few minutes, I realized that the tattoo wasn’t coming off that easily, even though the other ones came off in a few seconds. I continued rubbing until I felt irritation. I stopped and saw that the thing was not ready to come off soon, so I let it go. At least my pants would hide it.

I was cleaning what I took for the ink when I heard a loud knock on my front door. It must be Reginald. I walked in a steadier pace toward the door and opened it. I invited him inside and prepared some coffee, after taking the maximum dose of Advil possible. When we sat down at the table with the magical drink of wacky-wacky, he finally gave my keys back.

“So, crazy night yesterday, am I right?” He asked. I nodded while sipping my coffee, waiting for the pills to activate. He laughed and also took a sip. He pointed my hair. “I didn’t remember dying your hair. Did you do this yesterday night after taking a taxi?” I stared at him with a bored face.

“Ha ha ha, your joke is so funny, I forgot to put enthusiasm in my laughing. It was enough that you and Mike drew penises and cakes on my body like it was a canvas. But now, I am no longer amused.” I said with a serious face. He looked at me with confusion.

“A... cake? I don’t remember us drawing any cakes on you and I was with Mike for the whole night.” It was my turn to look at him in confusion. He pointed to my ass in a slight cue for me to show what I was talking about. I stood up and showed him the mark without dropping completely my pants.

“Wow, I mean, we drew on your face while you zoned out for few minutes, but this is too detailed for two drunk people to do in few minutes. Also, why did you zoned out? What happened?” He asked. I shrugged, trying to remember what happened. I knew I dreamt about... something, but I didn’t remember what.

“I don’t know what happened, but I know that both of you took the time to mess me up.” I said in a matter-of-fact tone while drinking my coffee. I took a look inside the cup and saw that it was half empty... or is it half full? Now I knew that my brain was still functioning after this terrible headache.

“Anyway, I’ll come back after work with Mark so we can sort all of this out. Also, I need to drop some Advil off for him too. So... uhh... see ya and good luck on your recovery.” He said before placing his cup in my sink and walking towards the door. After a handshake, he left and started walking towards his house. Fortunately for him, he lived only 30 minutes, by foot, away from my house.

I went back inside and looked at the oven’s clock. It was one o'clock in the afternoon. I should really eat something. As soon as I thought about that, my stomach decided to confirm it. I looked in my closet and took the stuff I needed to make Japanese fried rice. To add more flavor, I decided to take the chicken and the bacon I used few days ago for club sandwiches and throw it in the mix.

It took 45 minutes, but eventually the meal was completed. I took chopsticks, thanked myself for the meal in Japanese by saying ‘domo arigato gozaimasu’, then chowed down. Everything went all right until the last bites of rice.

When I opened my mouth to eat a... stickful? of the fried rice, I chewed more hair than food. Some people would find this normal, but not me. I hate, hated and will hate long hair. It simply annoys me to the highest degree. Not seeing it, but feeling it over my ear and tasting it in my mouth was the most annoying feeling.

I took the lock of hair that fell in my mouth and placed it in a way that I could see it. It was... pink. A candy pink that only belonged to an over-the-top girl’s toy. I placed the lock back in place and finished the last of my bowl. I threw the sticks in the garbage can and placed the bowl in my dishwasher.

I walked in the bathroom and took a look at the mirror. A Barbie like doll stared back at me. It took few seconds for my injured brain to realize that the doll in the viewing glass is actually me. My hair was at my shoulders and half of it was pink. By half of it, I mean that my hair looked like a barbershop pole, switching between blond and pink.

I decided to try removing the dye. I removed my clothes and entered my shower. For a good 20 minutes, I tried to scratch the dye off my head. But mysteriously enough, the pink color stayed there. After another 10 minutes, I stopped trying and decided to wear a hat. It will wear out eventually. I thought.

I raised my leg to step out of the shower bath, but tripped over the side of the bath. “Tabarnak. Why does my life suck so much right now?” I said out loud. When I stood up and walked toward my clothes, I realized that I was actually walking on tiptoes.

“That’s weird, I thought I stopped doing this since I was five.” I wondered out loud as a joke. I tried lowering my heels, but realized that my feet weren’t feeling nice to me. They decided to side against me in my internal war and stay up in a rebellious way of telling me that they are angry. I still didn’t know if I should question my sanity after thinking that my body parts were alive.

I dressed myself back up and went to my kitchen. I realized that after all that happened, it was already 3:30 pm. I wondered what I should do that night. I looked through my stores and realized that my food supply was getting low. I could go out to eat at a restaurant and go get my groceries. It would fill my whole afternoon.

I was about to take my coat, but realized that it didn’t have a hood. I wanted to hide my hair, which was growing faster than weed in a field. It was already few centimeters longer than it had been while I was in my bathroom. I knew that this wasn’t normal, but I decided to keep my mind off it until I find a reasonable explanation for all of this.

I took my old black hoodie and hid my wacky hair inside. I then took my wallet and checked to see if I had any money. I saw that I had plenty enough to buy something fancy in a restaurant and have some to buy a weeks worth of grub. I grabbed my keys and walked outside.

After waving to my neighbor, who looked at me with confusion, I entered my car and took a deep breath. It will be fine, I thought. I started the engine and saw something that I hadn’t noticed. Regi’s car was parked behind me. Through the window, I saw him and Mike talking. When they noticed I had started my car, Regi started honking at me to get my attention. I sighed and opened my window.

When it was fully opened, Reginald did the same and threw a hair elastic at me. “You were about to leave us in the dust, weren’t ya Anthony?” He said in a fake malice voice. “Well, wherever you’re going, we’re coming too.” He said seriously.

“I’m going to a restaurant.” I stated simply. He nodded in affirmation.

“Lead the way, Anthony!” He said, closing his window. I closed my window and pressed the gas pedal. In few seconds, I went from 0 to 80 km/h. I was getting annoyed by all of these transformations and Reginald’s humor was not going to help me.

I arrived at the restaurant, stopping my car and getting a good look at myself in the mirror. I saw that I looked more so like a girl now. I turned around and saw that their car was far away in the distance. I gave a quick look to the hair elastic Regi had thrown at me. I suddenly had a brilliant idea.

I opened the door to my car and put up my hair with the elastic. I removed my hood and took out my ipod. I set it into camera mode and looked at myself. I noticed that I looked exactly like a normal 25 years old woman with weird hair.

It was time for payback. Heartbreaking payback.