The Weird Taste of Change

Chap 1 - Not-So-Surprise Party

“...and then, Mikias handed his enchanted sword to Jade, hoping that the poor merchant would know how to use it. Naturally, this was a big shock for the girl because she had never fought before. Unfortunately for her she needed to learn fast. The inquisition was on their way to kill the owner of the sword. She wanted to throw the weapon away and leave him to his agonizing death, but her heart ref-...”

I stopped typing on my keyboard when I heard the annoying sound of a telephone ringing throughout the house. I rose from my seat and took the nearest wireless phone, hoping to write while talking. I answered the device and went back to business.

“Hello?” I asked, hoping that it was some meaningless merchant that I could hang up on without shame. Sadly, it was an entirely other problem.

“Yo Anthony! Dude, you gotta come to the lab right now. We discovered something ground breaking!” The voice shouted through the phone. I sighed and saved the progress I made on my novel. I knew that, whatever I said, my friend on the phone was not ready to hang up.

“Seriously Jonathan, it’s my free day. I'm sure that a ground breaking discovery will stay ground breaking tomorrow.” I said in my obviously futile attempt to stay home.

“You have to come now. It’s an order from your superior.” My boss said in the background. I sighed loudly while closing my computer. I know that I couldn't argue with my boss. He wasn't heartless; on the contrary he was a kind and lovable prankster. But when he gives order, it’s an order. I stood up and on my way to the front door I stopped at my kitchen. I looked at my calendar and saw that today, May 1st, was my birthday. I shrugged it, due to the fact that I just didn't care about it anymore. To ‘celebrate’ it, I grabbed a piece of the chocolate cake I made few days ago and went outside with my coat.

On my way to the laboratory, I ate the piece of cake. I knew that driving while eating was not the safest, but I hadn’t eaten dinner, being too busy with my writing. I swear I could still hear my stomach rumbling due to my lack of time management. I hoped that this discovery was a joke and that I could stop at McDonald after.

I arrived in the lab’s parking lot and, seeing that it was full of cars, I knew that it wasn’t a prank set up by my boss to laugh in our faces. I parked in the street, placed some money in the parking meter and walked toward the main entrance door.

The building itself was fascinating. It was inspired by Greek/Romanian architecture. It also had a look of ageing, mainly due to the fact that it was an old building. It used to be a museum before my boss bought it to turn it into a research laboratory. We research viruses and diseases to find better way to get rid of them.

I opened the door of the facility and, seeing that the lights were closed and that nobody was here, walked slowly through the darkness. It must be another prank. Hur-freaking-ray~! I thought. I walked to the door leading to the main lab and placed my ear on the door, hoping to catch any sound. Luckily, the sound was clear enough for me.

“When he’s going to walk through that door, he’s going to have the biggest surprise of his life.” I heard my boss say. I sighed silently to their ignorance. I should have known that they were preparing something special for my 25th birthday. Naturally, they had to show clear signs of their surprise. A lot of cars were outside with no traces of life inside the building. They also left a trail of candy wrappers for me to follow.

I walked back to the lobby, grabbed the skeleton we called Oscar and removed him from his pedestal. “You’re going to be the first skeleton to get a surprise party, could yourself lucky.” I whispered to the lifeless skeletal body. I opened the door leading to the surprise party and threw the skeleton. This was going to be awesome.

I stayed outside as the light flashed open and a loud “SURPRISE!” resonated throughout the building. Then came the sound of confusion. I guess that the party wasn’t for Oscar. I walked inside the room and laughed at their faces.

“And that, people, is how to redirect a surprise towards the ones making it. Merci, merci beaucoup.” [Thank you, thank you very much.] I said the last part while bowing to the invisible crowd. When they realized what had happened, they all started to laugh, me included.

“Wow, Anthony, you really got us there.” My boss, Reginald, said while laughing. He patted me on the back and handed me a glass of punch. With only one sip, I knew there was alcohol in it. I shrugged and chugged the drink, feeling the burning sensation in my throat.

“Now, party-boy, let’s get the party started!” Regi shouted, getting a scream of delight from the crowd. I laughed loudly and walked toward the table. Following me was Reginald and Mark, the guy who had called me. I grabbed another glass and started talking about... whatever went through my mind.

After few glasses, I started to feel tipsy. I thanked Reginald for the party, even though I hated surprise parties; and the fact that they had hidden the party under the guise of a ‘ground breaking discovery’. Mark shook his head with a large grin.

“I actually... found something. Maybe not grown... ground breaking, but still.” He attempted to say without sounding drunk, failing miserable. He motioned to follow him, all three of us trying to stay upright with all the alcohol in our system.

We got to the private lab part where me and Mark did some other experiments not related to diseases. The room was messy, but around the workstation it was almost sterile. There were all sorts of stuff I used to see only in sci-fi or old medieval movies. Stuff like alembics and cauldrons. It almost looked like a place where alchemists would hang out.

On the table were a few pots with colored liquid in them. I stared at them with confusion. “What... why did you brought us here... for paint?” I asked Mark, staring at him in my tipsy state. He laughed and hiccuped at the same time, sounding like a pig.

“It’s not just paint. It’s... special paint... I mean special ink that, when placed on skin, it never wears off until the man cleans it with rubbing alcohol. It... will be the best temporary tattoo ink EVAR!” He said, laughing maniacally. I facepalmed and dipped my finger into the black ink. I walked toward Mark and, holding his head with my other hand, I drew a moustache on his skin. After, I cleaned my finger with rubbing alcohol and spilled the liquid on the floor.

“Now, let’s go do something more interesting than watching paint dry.” I said in a cheesy voice. Reginald started rolling on the floor laughing. Mark stared at me, emotion stuck between laughing and shocked. Reginald patted him on the back.

“Come on Mark, let’s show your ‘stache to the world.” He said, still laughing. Mark, still drunk, just let it pass and walked back to the party. Reginald just stood there and started grinning. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I knew it was related to the ink.

I went back to the drink table. I knew that I would get plastered during this party. So, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing. I took another drink, even though I knew that my morning was going to be a living hell. I turned around and saw... something. I felt like if my soul was removed from my body and thrown into spectator mode.

I was floating in mid-air over what looked like an open field. I was floating behind some kind of horse. It was pink with some wacky colored hair. It, or she... I think, was running with some kind of saddle-like bag. In it was some ingredients, like a bag of flour and few bottle of milk. What surprised me was her face. It was obvious that she was scared, but of what?

Suddenly, some tall... thing appeared in front of her. The creature was silly, for the lack of better word. It had a goat-like head with each body parts different from the other. I could swear that this creature was made to entertain children due to its appearance. Before I could look at it more, the creature grabbed the poor horse.

“I finally got you, little pastry chef. You know, you actually were the hardest pony I caught. I don’t know how...” He threw her into the air. “...but you have managed to run away from me for far too long.” It raised its... arm in the air and the pony stopped falling just like that. “It’s time for you to meet your fate.” It cleared its throat.

“For Five Score Divided by Four!” The pony started thrashing around in mid-air.

“Your memories removed, your body confused!” She screamed in pain as she held her head between her hooves.

“For your insolence you must pay, cast off to a land far far away!” The pony’s legs started glowing white, like its legs were molten metal.

“To scatter everypony, thinking that I was a phony!” She stopped moving and screaming, her whole body glowing, except the head.

“Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak!” Now, her head was glowing like her body.

“Forgetting everything and living like a fool,” The creature grinned evilly. “you have all lost, now no one can stop my rule!” The pony’s body disappeared like powder thrown into a gust of wind. The creature laughed like a maniac, making me jump in surprise. The sound that came out of my mouth was enough for ‘it’ to hear. It turned around and faced my ghostly appearance.

“Have fun, Berry.”

Suddenly, its body shined like a sun and I felt a force pulling me backward. I screamed when the force pushed me back into my body. I opened my eyes and saw everybody staring at me. I blinked the... dream? out of my eyes and looked around. I looked at my side and saw Reginald holding the now empty pot that used to hold the black dye.

After few seconds, I heard one guy laugh, then another. Finally, everybody started laughing. I pushed the crowd away from me and, walking like a drunk, went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw that Regi had decided to become Picasso and paint all kind of stupidities over my face. There was a moustache, stupid eyebrows and some penises on my cheek. Ooh... maturity level zero.

When I turned around, I started feeling sick. And by sick, I mean really sick due to alcohol. I walked back to the party and tried to get to the exit. Unfortunately, the crowd stopped me, laughing about the drawings. It only took few seconds and all of them were covered in puke. I pushed them and walked toward the exit. With powerful self-control, I managed to call a taxi without sounding like a drunken bastard. I waited for what looked like hours before the taxi arrived. I decided that I would call another taxi tomorrow to get my car at the lab.

When I arrived at my house, I paid the taxi driver, who was glad to see that I called him instead of driving drunk. When I entered my humble abode, I attached my coat on the rack and looked at my computer. I wanted to finish the chapter I was working on, but decided that writing drunk could lead to weird stuff.

I entered my bathroom and undressed myself. When I looked the damage Regi has done to me, I realised that he didn’t just focused on my face. On both by thigh was the picture of a strawberry flavoured cake with frosting on it. It surprised me that, even under his drunken state, he was able to paint this piece of art. I decided to clean it tomorrow, as I was too tired for anything else that night. I cleaned myself, but the tattoos didn’t wash off because of their special attribute, and fell asleep right as my head touched my pillow.