"Sounds like someone's getting laid tonight."

I was taken from my trance when I was suddenly caught off guard by a familiar, mocking voice. I turned around to see none other than Spark. Of course.

"I thought you weren't into that kind of shit." Spark said with a smug look.

"Well, I think I'm willing to change that for her." I said.

"Stop, you're drowning me in the sappiness." He said sarcastically. He walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. "Don't sweat it, dude, I'm sure you'll be fine." He said, expecting me to be worried about tonight.

"Actually..." I started, "We kind of already..." I didn't even have to finish my sentence for a response.

"Hoho, holy shit dude!" He chuckled. "I didn't know you had it in you!" He stopped and pretended to wipe away imaginary tears. "I'm so proud of my little Flashy."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, it happened. And it helped me fully come to terms that I am indeed a horse."

Spark started laughing. "And all it took was for you to get laid. Fucking nice, dude." He continued laughing when he suddenly stopped. "Oh dude, I just realized that you're like Jesus to the mlp board on 4chan now. You came inside Rainbow Dash." He joked.

I chuckled nervously. Only Spark could say it in a way that would make me feel weird. "True. Too bad there's no internet here to tell them all."

"I think 4chan is something we can live without." Spark said as he started walking, motioning for me to follow. I trotted up next to him and we continued our conversation.

"Do you have the money you promised?" Spark asked me, as if we were dealing something illegal.

"Oh, yeah." I said. I gave him the remaining bits I had and he took them with pleasure.

"Thanks, dude. Seriously, you're one awesome motherfucker."

I smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Just try not to get your house burned down by the end of the week."

"I'll try my best, but no promises." He said with a grin. As we walked through town with nothing but the sound of the rhythmic clip-clop of our hooves on the paved street to keep us company, my mind started to wander. We continued walking in silence until I spoke up.

"You know, we're in paradise right now." I said as we walked.

"No doubt about that, bro." Spark agreed. "What about it?"

"Well, I mean, I'm definitely loving it here and everything, but it feels like we could do so much more."

"Like?"

"Well... we're in Equestria! We could be having, like, awesome adventures and stuff with our favorite fictional characters. We're living a reality of colorful ponies, Spark. But instead, we've only lazed around Ponyville and done almost nothing since we got here."

"Well, you hooked up with a horse." Spark said matter-of-factly. "I'd say that's doing something."

I sighed. "No, I mean doing something worth while and fun. You and Blaze and the mane six are literally the only friends I've ever had, and I just think that we could all do something awesome together."

"Interesting concept," Spark started, "but I don't think Blaze and I have even met all of them yet."

"Seriously?" I asked. "What the hell have you guys been doing the past week if you haven't at least met some of them?"

"Getting drunk off our asses and being jackasses." Spark provided a plain answer.

"Of course." I sighed. "Well then, how about we get you guys acquainted?"

"Sounds like a cluster fuck of fun," Spark said, "But before we do that, I want to get my fucking house and shit together first."

"Sure." I said. "But you're at least gonna meet Rainbow Dash today. I already told her all about you two."

"Oh boy, do I feel famous." He said sarcastically.

We continued walking down the path through Ponyville until we came up on the wrecked remains of Spark's and Blaze's house. I was not expecting it to be as bad as it was, but it looked like a tornado ripped through the whole thing, then left immediately after. I slowly walked up to it in disbelief.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Blaze said as he came up behind me. I didn't even notice him standing there.

"Wow, you guys weren't kidding, your house is-"

"Fucked. Up." Spark finished my sentence.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"It was a piece of shit anyway." Spark shrugged.

Blaze chuckled. "Earlier, you were crying over it."

"Hey, you shut your goddamn whore mouth." Spark said, pointing an angry hoof at Blaze. "That was before Flash generously offered to save our asses."

"Still doesn't change the fact that you were acting like a drama queen." Blaze smiled.

"Hey, fuck you."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. If anything, their conversations were entertaining.

"The fuck's wrong with you?" Spark asked me as I continued laughing.

"Nothing." I said, still chuckling. "You two just crack me up. You guys really are one of a kind."

"Alright then." Spark said, a little confused. "Well, I don't know about you assholes, but I'm gonna go buy a house."

"Wait for me," Blaze said, walking over to Spark. "I don't trust you with a choice as major as this."

"I'll go too." I said. "Not like I have anything better to do."

"Don't be so enthusiastic." Spark said. "You might hurt yourself."

"You are just a ray of sunshine today, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Guys, please." Blaze interrupted. "The sarcasm here is going to give me a stroke. Let's just go."

"Alright, let's go get ourselves a motherfucking house!" Spark yelled, and started trotting away. Blaze and I followed his lead for a few feet, until he suddenly stopped and we bumped into the back of him. He turned around to us with an unsure face.

"Now one question: where the fuck do we go?" He asked.

"Well, I guess we... I don't know, I never bought a house before." Blaze said, puzzled as well. He turned to me. "Don't you know where to go? You were going to buy that one house, right?" He asked me.

"Oh, uh, yeah." I said. "I, uh... I don't know where to go either." I said with honesty.

"Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do?" Spark threw his hooves in the air. "This is why they should teach this kind of shit in school; to prepare us for adult life and shit. I may not know how to buy a house and pay bills, but thank Christ I can find the value of x in a polynomial function!"

"Well..." I started to think of a solution. "I guess we could check with Twilight. She was helping me get a house before I moved in with Rainbow Dash, so she probably knows."

"Sounds like as good of an idea as any." Blaze said. He pointed his hoof forward. "Onward to Purple Smart!"

"Her house is actually this way." I said, pointing behind us to the giant tree library.

"Yeah, dumbass." Spark lightly hit Blaze over the head. Blaze quickly turned around to switch directions.

"Onward!" He started marching, and Spark and I followed our esteemed leader.

Well, they're at least going to meet Twilight now. I thought as we neared her house. As we came up to the front door, Blaze stopped and turned to me, motioning for me to knock on the door.

"Why don't you do it? You're already there." I said, walking up to the door.

"She doesn't know me." Blaze said, as if that was enough of an explanation.

I just rolled my eyes and pounded on the door with my hoof. A few moments later, the door opened and we were greeted by a familiar purple unicorn.

"Hello there, White Flash." Twilight smiled. She looked around me and noticed Blaze and Spark beside me. "Oh, and hello..." She trailed off.

"Twilight, this is Blaze and Spark." I said, returning the smile.

"Sup." Spark said, while Blaze just waved to her shyly. I swear, if it wasn't for Fluttershy, I'd say he was the most bashful pony in Ponyville.

Twilight smiled at them. "Well, Blaze and Spark, I'm Twilight Sparkle. Any friend of White Flash's is a friend of mine. It's very nice to meet you both."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Sparkle." Spark said.

Twilight smiled and stepped aside. "Well, come on in, you three. I'm sure you don't want to be standing outside while we talk."

"Thanks," I said, and walked into the library that Twilight called home. I heard the sound of Spark's and Blaze's hooves behind me as they followed me inside.

I looked around inside of the tree house. All of the books and scrolls were stacked and put away neatly on the shelves; much cleaner than I had last seen it. I looked over to see Blaze and Spark in awe of the library. They were probably freaking out on the inside from seeing it in real life.

Twilight closed the door and walked over to us. "So, was there something you guys needed?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah." I said. I almost forgot that we came here for a reason. "Blaze and Spark here recently lost their home due to... an unfortunate event."

"It was bullshit was what it was." Spark said, not even looking at us as he continued to marvel at the house. I could see Twilight cringe slightly at the cursing.

"Uh, yeah." I said. "Anyway, they need a house, and since you were helping me find one before, I figured maybe you could help them."

"Say no more." Twilight smiled. "I'd be happy to help your friends find a new place to live."

I looked over at Blaze and Spark. Blaze was walking over toward us, while Spark was still looking around at everything.

"Thanks, we really appreciate it." Blaze said as he came over to us.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. I'm happy to help anypony that needs it.

"Well, it's a good thing we have you because we had no idea where to even start." I said.

Twilight giggled. "Don't worry, buying a house can be a confusing process. I'll help you guys."

"Wonderful," I heard Spark trotting up behind me, stopping between Blaze and me. "Now that we got that all sorted out, how about we go find ourselves a five-star house that'll put Eminem's mansion to shame?" Spark said with enthusiasm.

"Or at least a small cabin with functioning walls." Blaze said.

I pointed to Blaze. "That's the spirit!" I turned to look at Twilight. "You ready to go, Twilight?"

"Sure, just let me get some things first." She said, walking over to the bookshelf to grab some books. She turned back toward us. "You guys go ahead, I'll meet you outside."

"You heard the lady!" Spark said, pushing Blaze and I toward the door. "Let's get a move on!" As we were pushed passed the door, I could hear Twilight chuckling and she turned back to the bookshelf.

When we finally stopped outside, Spark quit his pushiness.

"You seem awfully excited." I said, closing the front door behind us.

"Damn right I am." Spark said. "I'm ready to get me a motherfucking house."

"I gotta say," Blaze said. "I am excited to get a place that doesn't feel like it'll collapse on top of you at all times."

"Hey, I fucking tried, okay?" Spark said.

"That house lasted almost as long as a middle school relationship." Blaze said.

"Whatever," Spark grumbled. "It wasn't bad for a makeshift wooden piece of shit."

"Yeah, yeah." Blaze waved the subject off. "On a different note, did you see how awesome Twilight's house is?"

"Oh, fuck yeah, man. It looks exactly like the fucking show!" Spark said excitedly. I found the whole situation pretty funny.

"You two sound like a couple of fan girls." I chuckled.

"Hey, shut the fuck up. You can't tell me you haven't freaked out at least once since being here." Spark said. It was true. I had had my fill of fan girl moments here as well.

"Yeah," I said. "But it's still funny seeing your reactions."

"Well, fuck you too." Spark said as a comeback.

"Burn." Blaze said jokingly.

"God, you guys are such fucking morons sometimes, it hurts." Spark sighed. "Is Twilight ever gonna come out here? Holy shit."

At that moment, the front door opened, and Twilight came walking out with a saddlebag full of books. "Okay, are we ready?"

"I'll never be readier!" Spark said. "Where are we going?"

Twilight giggled. "We're going to go look at some houses and see which ones catch your eye."

"Ah," Spark said, and stepped back. "In that case, lead the way!"

Twilight smiled and trotted to the front of our group and continued into town.

I looked to Blaze and Spark. "Time to get you guys a house," I said, and trotted after Twilight, quickly followed by my two idiots.

The sound of four sets of hooves clicking against the ground as we made our way to the houses was music to my pony ears, and I couldn't help but smile. You'd think I would have gotten used to being in Equestria by now, but the littlest things still brought the biggest smiles to my face.

Author's Notes:

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had much time to write. I also feel like this chapter isn't one of the better ones, but like I said, I haven't had much time and yeah. Expect chapters at the very least, once a month. I'll try for every other week, but who knows how that'll work out. Anyways, you guys who are reading this story are awesome as always, and I hope you continue to enjoy!