Okay, so… that wasn’t one of my better ideas…

The world spun as I stared up at the ceiling high above me. Within the confines of its cast, my leg throbbed from the sudden jostling. A wet sensation against my skin informed me that several of my stitches definitely had broken open. However, my biggest concern at the moment was my still-smoking chest. A circular hole was scorched into my shirt, and while there were luckily no burns on my skin, it still felt like I had just been kicked by, well… a horse.

As I laid there, groaning softly in discomfort, the sound of quick hoofsteps reached my ringing ears. A moment later, Celestia’s concerned face appeared above me. “Goodness me! Are you alright?” Her eyes drifted down my body, only to widen in alarm. “Oh… oh no!”

There were more hoofsteps, and the masked pony appeared beside me.

“Of all the asinine things you could have done,” she grumbled under her breath. Her horn sparked to life, and my shirt was tugged upwards. I felt the material stick to my skin for a moment before being gingerly peeled off. “Yeah, there it is. Your stitches broke.” A jolt of pain flashed up my side as she prodded me with a hoof.

“Hold still. I need to patch you up,” she said before rummaging around in her robes. A moment later, she produced a needle and thread. “We really should be doing this back in the medical ward, but I doubt you’ll cooperate enough for that.”

Trying to ignore the sharp, pinching sensation as she stabbed the needle into my side over and over again, I instead peered dazedly up at Celestia. “You… you didn’t happen to see the carriage that ran me over, did you?”

This caused Celestia to blink. “Carriage?” She glanced down at the Healer. “Is he having hallucinations?”

“He very well could be,” the Healer tsked. “He went flying a good distance. Could have possibly hit his head on the floor and concussed it. It’d be just his luck. If you’d be so kind, Princess, could you please check his pupils for me? If they’re different sizes, we might have a problem.”

Celestia began to lean down to peer into my eyes only to stop suddenly. “But… his right eye is completely milky.”

“It was a joke,” I grunted, waving a hand, only to wince when my side twinged in pain at the movement. Falling silent for a moment, I turned my head to the side to look around. “Wait… just how far did she blast me?”

“A good twenty feet or so,” Celestia answered, straightening up again. “Although, you did slide a few feet as well.” Slowly, her head tilted to the side as she studied me. “May I asked… is there a reason you slapped me?”

Turning my head, I looked up at her. There was no sign of redness on the cheek I had struck; if anything, it seems my hand suffered more damage than her face. It throbbed with the feeling of pins-and-needles—the tingling sensation that you get after a particularly awesome high five.

I thought about her question for a moment before closing my eyes. “Yes, there is, although it’s probably not the best reason.”

“May I ask what the reason is?”

“Well, it’s a lot of things, actually,” I said softly. “A lot of little things that have slowly been adding up. Some minor, some a bit more major. Many of them might even seem stupid, but a few of them… well, a few of them are a little darker. A little more deserving than the others. They all have something in common though.” Resting my head against the cold marble, I glared up at her. “You really need to cut the habit of interfering in other people’s lives.”

Celestia’s ears splayed back. “If you’re still upset about me using the Elements on you, I—”

“No, it’s not that,” I huffed. “As much as it sucked, it did fix my muteness problem. And without it, things might have turned out worse than they did. Honestly, it was probably for the bes—oi!” Lifting my head, I poked the Healer in the side, causing her to flinch backward. “I realize you’re trying to help, but stabbing my lungs isn’t helping! Watch the fucking needle.”

“Might I remind you, you are the one that made it so I have to do this,” she shot back.

“Whatever,” I grunted before flopping back down. I was silent for a moment before looking back up at Celestia. “No, I’m not talking about the Elements. Or having Night Light watch me. Or trying to dictate my love life with Twilight. Or whatever else there is that I’m forgetting. No, what I’m talking about someone else’s life.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Who is this individual?”

“His name is… was Paul,” I answered. “Paul Riddick.” After what he had told me, I didn’t expect the name to mean much to her, and sure enough, I wasn’t surprised when a look of confusion crossed her face.

“I… have no memory of such a name,” she said with a frown.

“I’m well aware,” I sighed. “It’s really complicated, and I don’t have all the details, and it might have happened a long, long time ago, but I still think you deserve a good slap for it regardless. Especially considered what you did to him, and what it led to.”

“Might I ask,” Celestia said slowly, “why it was you who slapped me, and not this Riddick? If I wronged anypony in any way that deserved such an action, I would hope that they would bring it up with me themselves.”

I laughed, although it came out as a croaking wheeze. “I highly doubt any of your ponies would confront you even if you walked up and burned their house to the ground.” Celestia winced, but I continued. “Besides, I had to do it because he is no longer around to do so himself.”

“What do you… mean…” Celestia began to ask, only to stop. Blinking, she raised a hoof to her eyes and rubbed them, only for the hoof to come away wet. As she stared at it, a few more tears leak from her eyes and trickled down her cheek to drip off her chin, barely missing my face as they fell to the floor.

Celestia gasped softly as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks, unbidden. “E-excuse me, I… I don’t know what’s come over me.” Rubbing at her wet cheeks again, she laughed weakly. “I have no memory of that name, s-so why… why does it sadden me to hear that he is gone?” She rubbed at her eyes harder. “Why… can’t I remember?”

“Like I said, I don’t know the details,” I said. “Something-something magic related. If I understand correctly though, it’s because he didn’t want you… or anyone for that matter… to remember him.”

“Didn’t want me to remember…” Celestia murmured before a look of understanding came over him. A sad smile touched her face. “Ah, mental magic then. I see. So that means that… Discord was… but that would mean…” The smile turned into a frown of concentration as she fell silent for a moment. “It’s no good. I can almost remember, but it darts away like a dream. You’ll have to tell me the full story when we have time,” she eventually sighed before drying her eyes with a wing tip.

I shook my head. “It’s not my story to tell. If you want the full story, you’ll have to ask Vinyl Scratch. From the sound of it, it’s mostly her story as well.”

“Dutchess Scratch?” Celestia paused, before nodding slowly. “That makes sense, given her nature. Mental magic doesn’t work on sanguinarians, and she’s been around for as long as I can remember. I shall make sure to speak with her as soon as I’m able.”

“Great,” I grunted before glancing down at the Healer. “Hey, you! Yeah, you! You done yet?”

“Much to my pleasure,” she said, tying off the thread before snapping it with her magic. “That should hold, but please refrain from reopening it again before it heals completely. That means take it easy. No running, no fighting, no slapping princesses.” Even though that weird mask of hers was blocking her eyes, I could still tell she was glaring at me.

“It’s not my fault,” I defended. “I love taking things easy. I’m one of the laziest fuckers you can find. Drama just seems to find me.” Reaching out, I fumbled around for the IV stand before sitting up. I made to struggle to my feet, only to pause as I saw what was happening just down the hall. “What the…?”

A guard and another Healer were straining to hold Twilight back, even as she struggled to get at Luna, a look of rage upon her face. Her horn sparked and glowed as she fought to get at the other alicorn.

On the other side of the hallway, Luna was being restrained by another pair of guards. Wings flared wide, she panted and heaved as she tried to break free to get at the younger Princess.

Hooves flailing, the pair screamed at each other.

“—JUST GOT OUT OF THE MEDICAL WING AND THE FIRST THING YOU DO IT TRY TO SEND HIM BACK?!” Twilight shrieked, her wings flapping as she tried to go over the ponies holding her back. The guard had to flare his own wings to stop her from launching herself into the air.

“Princess, please! This isn’t helping your stress levels!” the Healer called out, her masked askew.

“OF COURSE WE BLASTED HIM!” Luna roared back, a guard holding doggedly onto her neck as she tried to pry him off with magic. Only the guard’s enchanted armor kept him locked on. “HE JUST WALKED UP AND ATTACKED OUR SISTER! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO?!”

“W-w-we need backup!” the guard stuttered as he fought with Luna’s thrashing mane.

“ATTACKED HER?!” Twilight retorted, struggling to free her wings from the Healer’s magic. “IT WAS A SLAP! IT WASN’T LIKE HE CAME AT HER WITH A SPEAR OR AXE! HE BARELY TOUCHED HER AND YOU BLAST HIM ACROSS THE ROOM!”

“WE MIGHT HAVE BEEN OVERZEALOUS IN LEAPING TO OUR SISTER’S DEFENSE, BUT LAST WE CHECK, IT IS STILL AGAINST THE LAW TO STRIKE A PRINCESS!”

“HER DEFENSE?! SHE’S PRINCESS CELESTIA! I HIGHLY DOUBT THE SLAP EVEN HURT!”

“ARE YOU SAYING IT’S OKAY TO HIT A PRINCESS?!”

“WELL, I’M ABOUT TO HIT YOU!”

I watched the pair continue to fight for a few seconds before a soft golden aura surrounded my body. It lifted me into the air before gently setting me back on my feet. The IV stand drifted into my hand as Celestia moved to stand next to me.

“Do you think we should do something?” I asked her.

“It would probably be best if we defused the situation, yes,” Celestia said, nodding her head. However, neither of us moved. We just stayed where we were, silently watching the spectacle. By now, the two alicorns had gotten close enough that they were just barely able to reach each other. They were now flailing their hooves about rapidly, lightly bapping each other’s faces as they continued to shout and scream at one another.

Twilight twisted her head about, and I caught a quick glimpse of a familiar collar that she had around her neck for some reason. Almost immediately, my hand went up to my own throat. Wait a minute… that was… My eyes widened as I suddenly remembered something rather important.

“Celestia,” I said slowly, not taking my eyes off the fighting pair.

Her ear twitched when I spoke, and she tilted her head slightly in my direction. “Hmmm… yes?”

“Where are the Terrain humans?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her stiffen slightly. She was silent for a moment before…

“After everything that happened, we… we felt that sending them home to their world was the best course of action.”

“You what?!” I yelled, turning to glare at her. My shout was loud enough to make her wince, but apparently not loud enough to break through the chaos that was happening just down the hall. Gritting my teeth, I hissed at her. “You sent them home?!”

“Of course,” she said, giving me an even look. “They were forced to come to our world against their will, so it’s only proper that we return them to their own world.”

“Well, yeah,” I grunted, “but not if they have no idea what you were doing! For all they knew, you were going to blast them into oblivion!” By now we were practically nose to nose. Off to the side, the Healer looked like she was debating whether or not she should get between us.

“Please, give us a little more credit than that,” Celestia snorted, hot air washing over my face before she leaned back. “Yes, the language barrier was a complication, but we were able to overcome it and communicate that we were sending them back home. Many of them were actually eager to return.”

My eyes narrowed. “And were you able to explain the dangers of what was going to happen? The fact that they might end up in the middle of the arctic or desert or forest or even the fucking ocean?!”

Her ears folded back, but she kept her cool look. “I would think given the choice between staying in this world and going back to theirs, they’d have chosen the latter of the two,” she sniffed.

“That’s not the…” I banged the IV stand on the floor. “That’s not the fucking point, and you know it!”

“And what, pray tell, is the point?”

“You didn’t give them a choice!” I growled. “Despite you claiming that you understand just how dangerous the process is, you didn’t give them a fucking choice in the matter. You never do. Instead, you do what you think is right without thinking about someone else’s wishes.” She opened her mouth to interrupt, but I waved a hand. “For once, look at it from a different perspective! By sending them home, you gambled whether or not they’d end up somewhere relatively safe! You had nothing to lose, but they didn’t know the risks! Can you say for certain that, if they had actually known what the dangers were, some of them might not have agreed to it?”

The faintest hints of a frown touched the corners of Celestia’s mouth. “Perhaps not, but need I remind you that, should they have decided to stay here, there would have been consequences for them? I understand it’s not entirely their fault, however ponies have died, and many more have been injured, because of the Terran’s actions. Miscommunication or not, my subjects would demand that I punish the humans justly for said transactions. Would you have me tell every family that has lost somepony that the killer was set free, simply because ‘they did not know better’?”

Leaning against the IV stand to take pressure off my leg, I crossed my arms and glared at her. “And need I remind you that quite a few of your ponies are responsible for this clusterfuck as well? You can’t blame just the humans in this.”

“I don’t, and said ponies will be punished accordingly,” Celestia replied. “Regardless, my point still stands. My subjects would cry for justice, and I am not sure if I could deny them it.” She paused for a moment, before cocking her head to the side. “Tell me. If it were up to you, would you have made them stay here and face the crowds and accusations, anger and mistrust on both sides, knowing that their only true crime is being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or would you send them home so that, even should they face hardships and uncertainty, they might have a chance to see their friends and families again? I know you chose to stay, but would you say the same for them?”

My eyes narrowed. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t make a decision that would affect someone else without asking them first. We don’t know what their answers could have been, and now we’ll never really know, will we?”

“No.” Celestia shook her head. “We most certainly will not.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and took a deep breath. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she had a point. At the end of the day, it was probably for the best to send all of the Terrans back to Earth. After everything they had experienced here in Equus—all the horrors and cruelty—I highly doubted any of them would be overly eager to stay.

It didn’t matter though; it was already taken care of.

Celestia watched me, her lips pressed in a tight line. However, I could see no anger in her gaze. Instead, there was some sadness, some exhaustion, some determination, and a whole lot of stubbornness. She was so certain that her way had been the correct course of action, and nothing I said was going to be able to change her mind. My mother would have called it ‘bullheadedness’.

Strong-willed, my father would counter.

We continued to stare at each other for a moment longer before, with a sigh, I gave. My expression softening, I slowly shook my head before raising a hand. She blinked once before a small smile touched her lips and, turning, she presented her cheek to me.

Reaching out, I patted it gently. “You’re a good pony, Celestia,” I said softly. “Just, please… in the future… refrain from helping me unless I ask for it, okay? I’ve had enough drama to last me for a while.”

Celestia nodded her head. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“That’s all I can hope for then,” I said before straightening up. “Right, I think that’s enough of that.” IV stand in hand, I thunk-thunk’d down the hallway towards the still-squabbling pair of ponies. They didn’t notice me approaching until I set the stand down in front of them with a resounding ‘clunk’.

“Alright, that’s enough,” I grunted. “You guys will have to finish this little spat later. Ah-buh-buh-buh—” I held up a finger, cutting Luna off before she could speak “—no. Later. You can kill each other later, but as of right now, I have plans that require Twilight to be alive.”

“Plans?” Celestia asked as she followed behind me. “You just woke up. What plans could you possibly have?”

“Well,” I said as I adjusted my grip on my makeshift crutch, “step one is going to be grabbing this pony.” Twilight squeaked, her eyes widening, as I hooked an arm under her and hefted her into the air.

The Healer behind Celestia let out an indignant squawk. “No heavy lifting!”

Ignoring her, I tucked Twilight under my arm before continuing. “Step two is that I’m going to take this here pony to the nearest bed, preferably not in a crowded room. Then, as per step three, I’m going to rut her into a quivering, twitching pile of mind-numbing mush.”

Twilight stopped her squirming and squeaked again, a faint blush touching her cheeks. The guards gave me incredulous looks, while both Princesses looked at me like I was crazy. The Healers just both groan and rub their heads.

“After that, I’m going to find the strongest whiskey… rum… whatever I can find and, while drinking it, continue railing on this pony—” I squeezed Twilight, causing her to squeak for a third time “—until she’s nothing more than a puddle of pure ecstasy that can’t remember her own name. And then… I’ma pass out. That’s my fucking plan.”

Silence fell over the hall. Blushes touched multiple faces now, and all the ponies with wings now had them extended.

“So, any complaints or comments?” I asked after a moment, glancing around.

The Healer that had patched me up earlier frowned. “I thought I told you to take it eas—”

I cut her off. “No? Good!”

Luna snorted once before opening her mouth as well.

“No? Good!” I repeated, a bit louder and with more force this time. She glared at me, but slumped back and instead took up position next to a slightly amused looking Celestia. The bigger alicorn sighed softly and shook her head.

“Right, we’re off!” Turning, I limped off down the hall, my gait awkward as I tried to balance Twilight against my hip all while not aggravating my broken leg.

Warm late afternoon sunlight shone through the stained glass windows as Twilight and I made our way down the winding corridors of the palace. Flashes of reds and blues and greens and purples dances across the marble walls and floors, painting our skin and fur in a rainbow of shimmering light.

I hadn’t been completely honest with Celestia earlier. While some good strong whiskey and a nap sounded amazing right now, I also found myself oddly restless. Despite having just woken up only a few hours ago, I felt like I had been in bed for weeks. I needed to walk around, even if the soreness in my leg was slowly started to grow. I’d have to take a lot of pain pills later, but it was worth it given the current circumstances.

Twilight had migrated from her place under my arm and was now lying across my back, her head resting atop of mine and her wings draped across my shoulders like a shawl. She swayed with me as I limped, putting most of our combined weight on the IV stand, which she had morphed and twisted into a more comfortable cane-shape with her magic.

We got a couple of strange looks from the guards we passed, but we were left pretty much alone. Which was fine for Twilight, as she had taken up an activity which worked best without interruptions. The same activity she had been having me do for that last twenty or so minutes.

“Say something else,” she said with a tired giggle.

I smirked slightly before humoring her. “Something else.” This earned me a soft swat on the back of my leg from her tail.

“You know what I meant.”

Chuckling softly, I rolled my eyes before giving it some consideration. “Library.”

“Mmmm,” Twilight hummed into my hair. “Another one.”

“How about… alfredo.”

“And?”

“Parmesan.”

“More please.”

“Novelty,” I continued. “Basalt. Sesame. Trigger. Alpine. Manicotti. Gumption. Hmmm… biscuits.”

“Why are most of the words you pick food-based?” Twilight asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, and she had to shift a little to stay comfortable. “What can I say? I’m hungry.” This caused her to huff softly.

“Fine, we can stop by the kitchen to grab you a quick bite to eat.”

“My mare!” I grinned, giving a small fist pump so as to not jostle Twilight too much. As if listening in on the conversation, my stomach took that moment to grow loudly. The noise caused me to glance down at my belly, and, with slowly dawning horror, I realized that I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I had last eaten anything. Days? A week? Sure, IVs could keep someone alive for a good long while, but there was nothing quite like a belly full of good food.

Plus, I was kinda off the IV right now, so, yeah…

Above me, I felt Twilight shake her head against mine. “You are insufferable sometimes, you know that?” She hummed softly for a moment before motioning with a hoof. “Now, hurry up. I could use something to eat as well.” This time, her stomach was the one that growled.

I slowed my pace. “You know what… I’m actually not feeling it anymore. I think I’ll just go—ow! What was that for?!”

“No teasing. Now take me to food.”

“You bit my ear!”

“I told you, I’m hungry. Now hurry up.”

“Motherfucke—OW!”

Huddled behind the corner, Flash Sentry took a deep breath to steady his nerves. His heart was hammering in his chest with enough force that he was almost certain that it would give away his position. It had taken a long time for this moment: years of planning, months of observing, weeks of preparation, several promotions and transfers—as well as a drunken night with one of his commanding officers—in order to get him to where he was now.

Everything had come down to this very moment. Now, all he needed to do was simply walk around the corner, bump into Princess Sparkle, deliver one of his patented one-liners, and she’d be putty in his hooves.

They didn’t call him ‘Waifu-Stealer’ in school and Basic for nothing. There was nothing quite like snatching an available mare up, banging her, and then flexing in front of the stallion that had been interested in her. Dozens of conquests had been conquered so far in his campaign, but now he was after the finest game.

If he got Twilight Sparkle, newest Princess of Equestria, he’d be set for life.

He had been planning to pull the heist off last week, back when estrus was still in full swing. Not only would mares be more receptive to advances, but he might have even gotten lucky enough to seal the deal with a foal in her belly.

Then that whole fiasco with Discord and the humans happened, and he thought he had lost his chance. But no—Twilight was still in the castle, and it was now or never.

Flash’s ears perked as a feminine voice came from around the corner. It took him a moment, but he quickly identified it as his target. Good, she was on her way. Checking his reflection in the window one last time, he steeled himself, straightened up, and stepped out from behind the corner…

...only to walk face first into a human’s crotch. Both parties stumbled backward, and the human was barely able to keep himself from falling by leaning heavily upon a cane. Flash, however, fell right on his plot, his nostrils suddenly filled with the deep, heated scent of male.

“Are… are you alright?” a voice asked.

Glancing up through watering eyes, Flash saw his intended target staring down at him from atop the human’s shoulders, a concerned look on her face. The human himself bore a look of discomfort, a hand over his crotch. Flash couldn’t be sure, but he swore he heard the human mutter a gruff “Mother fucker” under his breath.

Realizing that the Princess was still giving him a look of worry and that now was the time to strike, Flash opened his mouth to deliver his planned response… but his tongue failed him. He could only stare up at the human as his nostrils flared. Slowly, a red hue spread across his muzzle.

“Well, um…” Princess Sparkle exchanged uncertain glances with the human. “Please be more careful next time?” She gave the human another look, but he only shrugged before stepping around Flash and continuing down the hall.

Flash could only sit there and watch them go, a dazed look on his face. His eyes were riveted to the human’s backside until he limped around another corner and was lost to view. The heated scent still lingered in his nostrils, and he felt his wings twitch as he inhaled again. He blinked twice before his eyes narrowed.

I must have him!

It didn’t take us long to get food from the kitchen—although I had to stand by the door while Twilight placed the order, as one of the cooks had immediately grabbed a spoon and attempted to attack me with it when I had entered. I remembered him from before, so made sure to order something with lots of melted cheese on it, just to spite him and his stovetop. Most of the cooks gave me wide-eyed looks while they worked, especially after Twilight asked me a question and I answered.

Now, pushing a food-laden cart down the hall, I made my way slowly towards the bedroom we’d been using before everything went south. Twilight had taken to walking beside me this time, favoring her injured leg as well. I had offered to allow her to ride my shoulders again, but she had declined.

We walked in silence this time, the squeak of the cart’s wheels the only sound. There was nothing more that needed to be said though, and the silence was comfortable. Twilight stayed close, her wings brushing against my legs every once in a while as if to assure herself I was still there. I returned the favor—bumping her with my hip when my gait allowed it.

It was getting late when we finally neared our destination, both of our injuries slowly our pace considerably. Approaching the room, we passed by an open balcony that faced out into the garden. I slowed the cart to a stop as a light noise reached my ears. Curious, I pushed the cart to the side of the hall before stepping out onto the balcony and looking down. Twilight joined me, and we both peered down into the garden. It didn’t take long for us to find the source of the sound.

Sitting by a small fountain, a harp clasped in her hooves, Lyra swayed slightly as she plucked away at the strings. Her eyes were closed, and her ear twitched in time with the notes. They weren’t fast or sporadic but instead were slow and steady, each note holding with it a strong presence, yet not drowning out the previous note nor encroaching upon the following one.

She wasn’t alone either. Around her were gathered a dozen or so humans. They kept a respectful—or maybe fearful—distance from her. Despite the distance, they still seemed to be entranced by the music. They were all seated in the grass except for one of the humans who stood off to the side. Even at this distance, it was easy to see the scarred chest and the three fireball brand.

The humans appeared to be entranced by the harp, many of them swaying in time with the music. A few light chirps drifted upon the wind, but for the most part, the humans were quiet as they watched Lyra with rapt attention. If she was uncomfortable with their presence, she didn’t show it, flawlessly moving from one song to the next without missing a beat.

A few minutes passed with Twilight and I just standing there, watching, when Lyra suddenly opened her eyes and looked up. Almost as if she knew we were there, her gaze met mine—her shimmering golden eyes staring into my brown one with such intensity I flinched. She was still for a moment before her gaze softened and she gave me a small nod before returning to her music.

I was just getting ready to turn around and head back inside when a faint glint in the distance caught my eye. Blinking, I peered out over the garden and over the garden walls. Ponyville was just visible in the distance, nestled snugly between the gently rolling hills below. It was too far away to see anybody out and about, but I could make out a few of the buildings. The clocktower caught the last rays of the setting sun, reflecting it out like a lighthouse.

As I stared down at the little hamlet below, I unexpectedly felt tired. My limbs, already stiff and sore were suddenly heavier than they had been moments before. A wave of exhaustion rolled over me, and I sighed heavily.

Twilight’s ear twitched and she looked up at me. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I said, giving her a weak smile.

However, she was unconvinced. “Are you sure? That was a pretty big sigh right then.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m fine, really?

“...”

“What? What’s with the look?”

“Max, I’ve known you long enough to know that something is bothering you. What’s wrong?”

“...”

“Max?”

“I… I’m just tired. That’s all.”

“Well, we can relax when we get back to the room. It’s just around the corner. We’ll get back there, have some of this food, and then you can rest. Okay?”

“No, not like that. I just… I want things to go back to normal again.”

“Oh…”

“This has just been so… so chaotic lately. Things have felt strange and drawn out. It just… I… I’d like to go back home… back to Ponyville. To relax. If that’s alright with you?”

Twilight smiled. “I think that can be arranged.”

The gentle rumble of the train beneath my seat began to lessen as we pulled into Ponyville’s station. From the front of the train, the whistle blew loudly, signaling our arrival. Before the note had died down, the sound of ponies moving around the cabins could be heard as they collected their items before disembarking.

Running my hand through my hair, I double-checked to make sure my short ponytail was still in place. As I tugged on it softly, I thought to myself, I really should get a haircut soonish. It’s almost summer, and all this hair is going to get real hot, real quick. I mused on that for a moment before filing it away for a later date. Instead, I watched as Twilight moved around the cabin, gathering up what little we had brought along.

She was still limping, but not as bad as she had been yesterday. Fresh bandages adorned her injured leg—although the Healer had told her she could take them off and leave them off next time she bathed. Despite us having gotten up early to catch our train, her mane was neatly combed, her coat freshly brushed, and she had a fresh air about her. She was more energetic than I had seen her in a while.

“It’s just post-estrus hormones,” she had told me with a blush when I had pointed it out earlier.

Fussing about, Twilight finished packing the last of her books away and cleaning up our snack garbage before turning her attention to me.

“You ready to go?” she asked with an eager smile, which I returned.

“You know it. I’m just waiting for the train to stop moving before I get up.”

She gave me a concerned look. “Is your leg hurting again?”

“It’s a little sore,” I said, “but other than that, it’s fine. With my luck though, we’d stop suddenly and I’d fall over, and I’d rather not deal with that. So… I wait.” Clasping an actual cane in my hands, I tap the rubber ferrule against the floor. “Besides, we aren’t in a hurry. We’re already here.”

“True,” Twilight hummed. She eyed me thoughtfully for a moment before smirking. “Say another word.”

I gave her an amused look. “Kumquats.”

This caused her to titter happily.

There came another whistle blast, followed by the sharp squeal of brakes. I swayed slightly on my seat as the train came to a sudden stop. Twilight stumbled a little, and I reached out a hand to steady her.

“See?” I said. “Would have been flat on my ass.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, you were clever for once.” She blew a raspberry at me as I gave her the finger. Her smile returned though as she helped me to my feet. “Come on, you. Let’s get off before the train starts moving again.”

“Here, here,” I said as I followed her sway flank out the cabin door and into the hall. It took some maneuvering—so few ponies had disembarked that ponies were already getting on—but we managed to make our way to the door. Twilight fluttered down onto the platform with ease, leaving me to deal with the ladder.

I gave it one look before saying ‘fuck it’ and jumping down onto the platform as well, landing one-footed on my good leg, my cane helping to keep me upright.

Twilight glared at me.

“Hey,” I shrugged. “I made it, didn’t I?”

“The Healer said to take it easy.”

Rolling my eyes again, I lifted up my shirt to show my stitches were still intact. “Ta-da.” I lowered the shirt. “Relax, Sparklebutt. I’m fine.”

Twilight huffed before turning and making her way towards the edge of the platform. The fact that she slowed down enough to allow me to catch up should that she wasn’t really angry. Together, we climbed down the steps and slowly made our way down the path towards Ponyville.

As we walked along, I took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh country air. The smell of spring was heavy on the air—grass wet from dew, flowers in full bloom, and the warm breeze carrying with it the fresh scent of baked goods. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed that smell until just now.

“Pinkie’s really outdone herself today,” Twilight said, her nose in the air as well. “Cherry and cinnamon. That should be interesting.”

“Bagels or muffins?” I asked.

“Oh, definitely muffins,” Twilight answered.

“Really? What makes you so sure?”

“Muffins are basically naked cupcakes. And do you really think Pinkie would miss a chance to make cupcakes?”

“...yeah, you’ve got a point,” I said, scratching my beard before mumbling. “Morning cupcakes. Mupcakes? Cupfin? Muffcakes? Actually, scratch that last one.”

“The only difference between a muffin and a cupcake is she can’t frost the former until after lunch.”

“Nah, she totally made frosting for them. She just ate it instead of putting it on them. That’s why she’s always so hyper so early in the morning.”

“ I thought that was the coffee.”

“Oh please! Have you seen how much sugar she puts in her coffee?”

“Goodness, yes. Would you like a little coffee with your sugar?”

We laughed softly at the mental image—one that wasn’t hard to imagine, given that we’ve seen her eating her ‘coffee’ with a spoon before. Wiping a tear from my eye, I blinked when I realized we had wandered into town during our conversation. That in and of itself wasn’t strange: it doesn’t take that long to go from the train station to town. No, what was surprising was the number of looks we were getting from the ponies that were out and about.

Or rather, the number of looks I was getting.

It seemed like everyone was staring at me. However, none of them appeared angry or anything like that—thankfully. In fact, most of the ponies had looks of wonder and awe. I even saw quite a few slowly breaking out into smiles. Still, being the sudden center of attention was a little disconcerting.

“Hey, uh… Twilight?” I said softly, causing the ponies nearest us to gasp.

“Hmmm?” Twilight’s ear twitched and she looked up at me curiously. It didn’t look like she had noticed yet.

I motioned at the slowly approaching ponies. “They’re… uh, they’re all staring.”

She frowned before glancing around, her eyes widening in surprise as she too saw the gathering ponies. “Um, h-hello?” Both of us blinked as many of the ponies returned her greeting with warm ones of their own.

“Hello, Princess!”

“Nice to see you again, Twilight!”

“Welcome home, Sparkle!”

“Someone tell Pinkie! Maybe she’ll throw a party!”

As the ponies cheered and pranced about, I glanced around the crowd. All of their faces were familiar to me now—even if I didn’t know them all by name—but certain ones stood out more than others. Red Heart tsked and shook her head as she studied my cast and bandages. Ditzy fluttered about upside down, a happy smile on her face as she waved her hoof with enough force to shake her entire body. Aloe and Lotus gave me warm smiles from their place near the back.

I looked to Twilight to figure out what was going on, but she looked just as confused as I felt. Luckily, we were saved by the mayor, who was making her way through the crowd.

“Good morning!” she called out as she reached us. “Sorry about the sudden mobbing, but everypony has been eager for your return.” The crowd swelled at her words, and a few more ponies called out greetings. Several pegasi were now circling above us, apparently only halfway through their weather duties.

“I can see that,” Twilight said, more than a little flustered. “What’s brought this on?”

The mayor gave her a sheepish grin. “Princess Celestia visited earlier this week while we were working on rebuilding the town. She, ah... filled us in on some things.” Her eyes drifted to me. “A lot of things. I can’t believe we didn’t see it before, but looking back now, it all makes sense.”

Returning her look, I raised an eyebrow.

She was quiet for a moment before clearing her throat. S-some of what she told us is a little hard to believe, so I guess most ponies here are just hoping to see if it’s true or not.” As if this was the cue they had been waiting for, ponies in the crowd began to cry out again, this time directing their attention to me.

“So, is it true? Are you really intelligent?!”

“Have you really been intelligent this whole time!?”

“Can you understand what we are saying?”

“This is so cool!”

“Of course Twilight gets the weird human!”

“So, if you’re intelligent, can you talk?”

“Hey, yeah! Can you talk?!”

“Yeah! Go on and say something!”

The shouts came—mostly from excited-sounding fillies and colts—and I gave Twilight a look. She just rolled her eyes though, a smile on her face, and motioned for me to get on with it. I sighed good-naturedly. Planting my cane into the ground, I straightened up, threw my arms into the air, and declared loudly, “Omelette du Fromage!”

With a soft creak, the front door to the Golden Oaks Library swung open. The smell of old parchment filled my nose as I stepped over the threshold, Twilight close behind me. As she went about removing her saddlebags, I peered around.

The windows were open, allowing in a warm breeze that played gently with the curtains. A few stray books littered the circular table in the center of the room, and the pony bust stared at us with unseeing eyes. The desk off to the side of the entrance was relatively clear, but the dropbox had quite a few numbers of returned books in it.

The room wasn’t as dusty as I thought it’d be, but then again, according to Twilight, Spike had been taking care of things by himself for the past week. He had originally flown back with her to Canterlot, but had returned to Ponyville when it had become obvious that they were just waiting for me to wake up.

My eyes settled on my old pillow bed that rested just below an alcove in the wall, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Right where I left you,” I muttered.

“Hmmm, what did you say?” Twilight asked as she hung up her bags.

“Nothing,” I said. “Just happy to be home again.”

Twilight nodded. “Understandable. It feels like ages since we were here last, even though it’s only been a few weeks.”

“Yeah, it feels like it’s been months since you pushed me out the window due to your estrus,” I said with a nod.

Twilight twitched.

“Excuse me?!” she yelped. “I did not push you! You jumped out the window of your own accord!”

I opened my mouth to offer a rebuttal, but a sudden clatter from the kitchen caught our attention. A soft ‘thump’ could be heard, followed by the sound of pattering feet. A moment later, Spike came waddling through the archway, his eyes wide.

“Twilight!” he cried upon seeing her.

“Spike!” Scooping him up, Twilight nuzzled the little drake happily. The two hugged each other for a few seconds longer before breaking apart.

Spike turned his attention to me. “Hey! You’re finally awake! How are you feeling?”

Lifting a hand, I waved it back and forth. “I’ve been better. Also been worse. Can’t really complain.”

“Whoa.” Spike took a step back. “Dude, it’s so weird to see you speak.”

I smiled. “Sometimes it feels weird to be able to speak again.” Limping over, I bent down and extended a hand to him. “Alright, now we can do this properly. Hello, Spike. I’m Max the human.”

The drake blinked owlishly up at me for a moment before smiling. He grabbed my hand in his claws. “Hi, Max. I’m Spike the dragon!”

We continued to shake hands for a moment before a sharp whistle came from the other room. Spike’s eyes widened in alarm and he gasped. “Oh no! The tea!” Turning, he rushed back into the kitchen, waving his arms wildly.

As the sound of clattering and cupboard doors opening came from the kitchen, I remained crouched down. Twilight took advantage of this by slowly sauntering over. “So, we’re home now.”

“It looks that way,” I said, running a hand over her back, causing her to shiver.

“These past few weeks have been really busy,” she continued. “Dealing with estrus, the chaos in Canterlot, Discord, the Terran humans, the vines in Ponyville, the recovery.” She paused, a faint blush touching her cheeks. “Us.”

“Us,” I said with a nod. We stared at each other for a moment before, as one, we both leaned in. Our lips met, and I could feel Twilight melt as she hummed happily. The scent of lavender filled my nose as I pushed back against her. This was a good moment, and there was nothing that could possibly ruin it right no—

“Oh, come on! Use some tongue!”

The sudden shout caused Twilight and I to yelp into each other’s mouths, our eyes snapping open. We broke away from each other quickly, her wings twitching as if she was about to take flight. Looking around, I shot a glare at the three smirking faces that were staring at us from the open basement door. “What the fuck?! What are you guys doing here?”

“Uh, did you forget? We live here as well,” Ebony said.

“The way Twilight was sucking on his lip, I’d forget about us too,” Avera snickered.

“Juicy…” Primrose rasped weakly.

“Bunch of perverts, the lot of ya,” I grunted, giving them the finger.

Avera blew me a kiss. “Love ya too, tall stuff.”

“Weren’t you guys in trouble or something?” I asked.

“It’s complicated, but Luna cleared it up,” Primrose croaked. “Long story short, we work for you now, not the Crown.”

I had been scratching at my beard but paused upon hearing that. Slowly, a grin spread across my face. “Really?”

“Eeyup.” Ebony nodded. “We work under you. Well… maybe ‘work’ isn’t the right word? We’re still your guards, we just aren’t technically ‘guards’ at the moment?”

My grin continued to grow.

“What’s so amusing?” Avera asked.

I rubbed my hands together. “You’re all my bitches now.”

Ebony’s ears splayed backward. “Oh dear.”

“Fantastic,” Primrose runted.

“Alright, I got the tea!” Spike said as he waddled back into the room, a tray set for tea in his claws. He paused upon seeing the three newcomers. “Wait… when do you guys get back?”

“Seriously?” Avera gave him a weird look. “Dude, we’ve been here for the past three days!”

Spike shook his head. “What? No you haven’t! I would have seen you!”

“Dude, I’m telling you. We’ve been here for three days. Count ‘em, three.”

“There’s no way!”

“You were singing Songbird Serenade all day yesterday when you were cleaning,” Primrose rasped. “And the day before that, you were having a pretend conversation with yourself in which you wooed Rarity in dozens of different ways. Each one more absurd than the last.”

Spike gaped at them for a moment before suddenly dropping the tray, sending teacups and plates clattering every which way. Ignoring them, he pointed an accusing claw at the trio. “You’re the reason food has been going missing!”

“No dude, remember? You said it was totally a ghost,” Avera snickered.

“WhhooooOOOOooo,” Ebony added, waving her hooves about.

“That’s not funny!” Spike huffed. “I had trouble sleeping because of that!”

“WHHoooOOOooo!”

“For Celestia’s sake,” Twilight mumbled, facehoofing. “This is getting ridiculous! Are there any more surprises we should know about?”

There came a sudden clatter from the upper balcony that caused all of us to look up. At first, there was nothing to see, but then a familiar face appeared between the railings. Blue eyes blinked innocently down at us, her poofy brown hair cascading about her shoulders. She had thrown out her tattered clothing and was now wearing one of my old shirts.

“What in the…?” Twilight breathed, staring up at the human.

Wrapping her fingers around the balusters, Pyresteed pressed her face against the wood before letting out a soft chirp.

“Alpha?” she murmured.

Shaking my head, I could only laugh as I looked down at Twilight.

“You just had to ask.”