Tearing my gaze from the doors that Sunny just disappeared behind, I looked around. The room we had entered was enormous, with the ceiling towering high above us. You could probably fit my entire house in here, and there would still be plenty of room to spare. Large marble pillars, as thick as trees, lined the room, acting as structural supports for the ceiling high above. Banners hung from the ceiling and clung to the pillars. Some were red and depicted a large golden sun, while others were dark blue and emblazoned with a crescent moon. Large windows adorned the sides of the room, allowing massive amounts of sunlight to stream in. Glancing out one of the windows, I saw that it appeared to be getting late; the sun hung low in the sky.

I was so entranced by the room that I failed to realize that the princess was moving. I was quickly reminded by a gentle tug on the collar and a soft chuckle.

“Come along, little one. We need to get you cleaned up a little before we introduce you to your new owner,” Celestia said, giving the leash another gentle tug, prompting me to stumble along after her. I scrunched up my face at her words.

New owner? I thought she bought me for herself? This new development wasn’t sitting well with me. If I’m not for the princess, who is she sending me to? I frowned slightly before shaking my head.

I don’t know why I’m fretting over this, I thought as the little voice in my head gave a silent cheer. I’m just going to be breaking free when I get there. As I mused silently to myself, we continued across the room. The princess clip-clopped along while I pat-a-patted behind her. As we walked, she hummed a little tune to herself, her head weaving gently side to side. Her mane and tail continued to flow eerily behind her, unaffected by the movement of her head and body.

Nearing the far side of the room, my eyes happened to land upon a large, golden throne. It was stood nearly twice as tall as Celestia; golden steps, covered in red velvet carpeting that stretched back to the end of the hall, which led up to a large cushion. There were small fountains on either side of the throne, with gently murmuring water, creating a calming effect. Two white, unicorn guards, clad in golden armor bearing the mark of the sun, stood on either side of the empty throne, eyeing us (mostly me) as we walked past. I swallowed nervously, trying not to meet their eyes.

Skirting around the ceremonial chair, the princess headed towards a small door hidden in the shadow of the throne. Opening it with her hoof, she ushered me through with a gentle push with her magic before following and closing the door behind her with a soft snap.

The hallway I found myself in was smaller than the ones before it. If I reached my hands above my head, my fingertips would probably touch the ceiling. The walls were narrower, barely enough room for Celestia and me to stand side by side. The whole place had a different feel from the rest of the palace, as if we had entered a different building. The whole thing felt extremely homey. The floors were carpeted, something I noticed with relief. The hard marble floors were a nice touch, and while the ponies with their hooves probably didn’t mind it, they were killer on bare feet.

The hallway was lit by dim torches, the flames flickering inside of frosted glass containers that were attached to the walls. Swirling patterns adorned the glass, the light dancing hypnotically across the rippled surface. I could feel myself slowly relaxing in this place. It felt safe; it felt like home.

This must be the living quarters of the palace, I thought as I looked around the hallway with a calm expression. I suppressed a yawn as I waited for Sunny Breeze to take the lead—

My eyes widened and my heart rate immediately shot up, the calm that the new environment brought me completely destroyed by the simple thought.

Sunny’s not here.

My body tensed up as my heart pounded in my chest. Sunny wasn’t with me anymore. The one constant in this weird new life, the one creature who actually cared for me, was no longer present. I was now completely alone with a mare that I barely knew, and my only real “friend” for the past two weeks was gone. My breaths came in quick gasps as my pupils dilated, my eyes darting back and forth.

I should have tried harder to escape earlier. The little voice in my head was screaming at me, cursing me for my stupidity. I was alone; I was defenseless. When I was with Sunny, I had felt confident and safe. In that short amount of time I had been with her, I had learned to trust her. I knew from our many one-sided conversations that she would never hurt me. Celestia, however, I wasn’t too sure about.

She seemed nice at first glance, and the way she talked with Sunny and composed herself kind of reminded me of a mother. But she also radiated a huge amount of power, and was high enough up there that she could do whatever she wanted. Of course, she hadn’t given me any reason to distrust her yet, but that could change quickly. What if the kindness was just a ruse, and she was really a cruel bitch who enjoyed tormenting other creatures? What if she was abusive? What if she—

“Come on, little one,” Celestia murmured softly, snapping me out of my impending panic attack. She nudged me gently with her nose, a soft smile on her face as she looked into my panicking eyes, concerning radiating from her gaze. “Everything's alright. You’re safe here.” Her voice held the same tone one would use when trying not to spook a frightened animal. I felt a shiver run up my back as her nose touched my bare skin, but I slowly began to relax again.

I may not have known if I could trust her yet, but that simple act showed me that she actually cared somewhat for me, and didn’t want me to be scared. Shoving aside my fears and doubts, I decided to go out on a limb and lend her some of my trust. I’m pretty sure I had an abundant supply, given that I wasn’t just throwing it about freely. Plus, I didn’t think running right this instant would be a good thing. She could always catch me with her magic. Plus, she could probably run faster than me, and she did have a foot-long spear coming out of her forehead. I would rather like to avoid becoming a human-on-a-stick. I decided to give this situation a chance before freaking out completely.

Swallowing my nervousness, I turned and followed her down the hall, the carpet muffling my footsteps, as well as her hooves. Glancing back at the door leading to the throne room, I let one last trickle of doubt drift through my mind. I hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.

Despite the fact that my hands were bound, I was completely naked, and a collar was placed snugly around my neck, I was still able to appreciate the majesty of the living quarters.

As we walked down the hallway, we passed by many doors. Most of them were shut, closed tight to prevent snooping, while others were left open just a crack. These doors were few and far between, but when we happened to pass one, I couldn’t help but sneak a peek inside. What I saw told of luxury.

I saw a study. A desk covered with scrolls and quills, books and logs. Pictures of ponies decorated the wall. I’d have to assume that they meant something to the person… er, pony, that owned the study. I eyed the piles of scrolls with some interest. I wonder if I could get my hands on one of those. I quickly tried heading into the room, but was stopped by a firm, but gentle tug on the leash.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Celestia cooed, laughter dancing in her eyes. “No running off again.” As the princess led me further down the hallway, I glanced back at the study door, mentally noting where it was in case I found myself free anytime soon.

“I can see that we’re going to have to keep an eye on you,” Celestia said as we walked. “You’re quite the little explorer, aren’t you?” I ignored her, instead choosing to return to studying the passing rooms.

The next door I looked into was a large library filled with a massive amount of books. It was, if my quick look was anything to go by, a two-story tall room with nothing but books. The walls were lined with bookshelves, each one filled with big books, small books, colorful books, and books that seemed to glow faintly. A large fireplace adorned one of the walls, a fire crackling merrily away, inviting anyone who saw it to come and bask in its comfort. A yellow unicorn mare in a maid’s outfit was dusting one of the shelves. She gave us a quick glance as we passed the door, before returning to her work.

My gaze slowly drifted to the other side of the hall. Through an open door I could see a bathroom. Actually, it would probably be more appropriate to call it a spa, because the room was loaded! It had a massive tub, large enough for a horse to bathe in and still have room. I smirked as I cast a quick glance at the princess before returning to the bathroom. A small waterfall ran down the far wall, cascading gently into a small spring. Two hot tubs rested on either side of the waterfall. They appeared to have lights in them, as the water in one had a red hue, while its sister had a blue one.

There was a smaller pool in one of the corners, chunks of ice floating in the water as mist wafted into the air. In another corner was a small platform that looked like it was meant for a musician to play music for the occupants. Candles were everywhere, as well as soaps, shampoos, and scented oils. As I passed by the room, I shook my head and laughed silently to myself. Yep, definitely a spa. It seems that someone is a bit spoiled, I thought, eyeing the princess in amusement.

The next couple of doors were all closed, denying me any sightseeing. Sighing, I leaned slightly and glanced ahead of the princess. I felt a shiver run up my spine as I spied a door that was different from the rest. It was bigger than the others, and made of a dark wood that appeared almost black. A large crescent moon was etched onto the door, silver trimming running along the edges. As we passed by it, I could hear what sounded like grumbling coming for the other side, as well as movement. Whoever it was, they were either really tired, or just getting up. Goosebumps broke out across my skin as we neared the door, and wouldn't leave until we were several feet past it.

Several doors later, we passed by what seemed to be a lounge. As we neared, I caught sight of movement from with the room, and I caught sight of another life form. Unfortunately, he caught sight of us as well.

“Auntie Celestia!” the new pony called out as we walked pass the open door. The sound of his voice sent caused my hair to stand on end and made my toes curl. In front of me, I could see Celestia tense up slightly. Oh, I can tell I’m not going to like this, I thought as the princess turned to greet the pony. He was a white unicorn with a golden mane, and appeared to have a compass rose upon his ass. An unknown sixth sense of mine was screaming at me that he was probably going to be a tough pony to get along with. That, and the fact that he had a smug ass grin on his face.

“Blueblood, how are you this fine evening?” Celestia asked, smiling thinly. It was clear by her expression that she did not want to be talking to this guy.

Oh great, she doesn’t like him either. That can’t be a good sign.

"'How am I this fine evening'? I had a horrible day! Day court was terrible! I had to sit there for nearly fifteen minutes listening to some old hag go on about needing funding for some orphanage or something. It was terribly boring and I couldn’t believe that the guards actually let her in the palace. She should have been thrown out the minute she set hoof on the grounds. And another thing…”

The new pony, Blueblood, continued to prattle on about his day. As he whined and complained about completely stupid and menial things, I chanced a glance at Celestia. Her eye seemed to have developed a nasty twitch.

“...and for lunch I asked the chefs to prepare me a proper meal, not that disgusting slop that they usually make. But not only did they take over twenty minutes to make something, but it wasn’t of a high enough quality. What do they think I am, a peasant? I can only eat foods that are of the cream of the crop!”

Strange. Whatever the princess seems to have, it must be contagious because now my eye began to twitch as well. What in the name of hell was this guy's problem? In all my life, I have never met anyone who was such a pompous, arrogant asshole. I didn’t think I could take much more of his ego-centrism without screaming. Luckily, Celestia seemed to think the same thing.

“Nephew, as much as I would love to hear about the hardships of your day, I’m currently in the middle of something.” Draping a large wing over me, she pulled me close to her side. Whether she was shielding me, or using me as a shield, I didn’t know, but the action seemed to work as Blueblood shut up immediately. However, he got a hungry, predatory look in his eyes as he stared at me.

Why do I suddenly feel like a piece of meat? His gaze slowly went down my entire body before heading back up to my face. I shivered slightly as he licked his lips. I would say that he was undressing me with his eyes, but as I was already naked, that wasn’t necessary. I could hear the little voice in my head laughing uproariously.Who’s side are you on anyways, you bastard? The more he eyed me, the more uncomfortable I became.

“Oh, Auntie Celestia. Where did you find this fine specimen?” he asked, drool practically dripping from his mouth. “This wouldn’t happen to be for me, would it?” As a lecherous smile slowly spread across his face, I huddled down deeper into the feathery blanket that was Celestia’s wing.

Find my happy place! Find my happy place! Find my happy place! As I shivered against Celestia’s sides, she tightened her wings around me.

“No, Blueblood. He is actually meant for my protege, Twilight Sparkle, as a kind of gift for her recent achievement.” Blueblood’s expression soured at this, a dark look passing over his face. I, on the other hand, was dancing inside.

Thank Jesus! I don’t know who Twilight Sparkle is, but she has to be better than this creep!

“Such a pity,” Blueblood said, sounding slightly annoyed. “He really is a fine looking human.” Blueblood’s eyes did another once-over on my body, and, again, he licked his lips longingly.

An adult! I need an adult! As though hearing my silent pleas, Celestia slowly began to inch her way around Blueblood, keeping me held tight in her wings.

“He is not for you, Blueblood,” she said coldly, never taking her eyes off of him. “I’m very lenient when it comes to you and your humans, but this one is off limits. Do you hear me? He is not yours!” With that, the princess spun around, taking me with her, and began to walk very quickly down the hallway. As we walked, I could still feel Blueblood’s eyes upon me. I shivered again, trying to get rid of the awful feeling. I guess I was right: I didn’t like that at all.

I’m going to need a long, cold shower after that…

The rest of our journey went without incident. Reaching the last door in the hall, I looked up and saw that it was a large, golden door bearing the etching of a shining sun. Opening the door, Celestia slipped us both inside, keeping her wing wrapped around me until the door was closed tight behind us.

Still trying to forget the image of Blueblood looking at me lustily, I was just dimly aware of my surroundings. The room was large and circular in shape. There was a desk next to a fireplace, scrolls and books scattered over its surface. A large, four-poster bed rested underneath a picture of a blood red sunrise. A medium-sized bookshelf stood against the wall, packed full of tomes of different sizes. A large, golden cage rested on the top of it. The cage’s door was open and it was empty except for several gold and red feathers that rested on the bottom of the cage. A pair of double doors lead out to a large balcony, which held a telescope. Cushions littered the floor, and upon entering the room, the princess immediately flung herself upon on them, leaving me standing with the leash dangling against my body, still attached to my collar.

“I swear, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s family, I’d… I’d…” Celestia muttered under her breath as she removed her crown and levitated it over to one of the tables by the bed. Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths, all the while talking to herself.

“Love and tolerance Tia, love and tolerance.” As she continued to murmur gently to herself, I eyed the desk, and more importantly, the scrolls upon said desk. Slowly, as to not alert Celestia, I began to make my way towards the desk. Picking up one of the scrolls, I glanced back at her before unrolling it and glancing at it’s contents.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned a great lesson about family, which, if you think about it, is the first group of friends you ever meet. Turns out that when you're with folks you care about, you don't have to do much to make that time memorable. Even the simplest of activities can take on a whole lotta meanin'! And you'll find that you'll remember the who long after you've forgotten the what.

Your humble subject,

Applejack

I finished reading the 'letter' and snorted once before tossing it back onto the desk. I began rooting through the desk, searching for a blank piece of paper. Picking up another scroll, I unrolled it, eyeing the contents.

To: Princess Celestia

From: Battlemage, Major Ebony Rose
Re: Energy Source

It has come to my attention that there appears to be something buried underneath the Lonely Mountain that is emitting a high magical field. The object began to flare up several days ago. We have successfully pinpointed the surface location of the object, but request the use of humans for digging to the source…

Not bothering to finish the message, I tossed it back onto the pile before returning to my search. Grabbing another scroll, I unrolled it and a smile immediately spread across my face when I saw that it was blank. I had just started to look for something to write with when the paper was ripped from my grasp. I yelped as I was suddenly lifted up into the air and away from the desk.

“I can’t take my eyes off of you, can I?” Celestia said as I floated over to her. I growled slightly as I was denied what I had been trying to get my hands on.

“Relax,” she said as she placed me upon one of the cushions. “There is no need to get upset.” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as she tried to comfort me. Celestia just looked at me for several seconds, seemingly to just study my face with a curious expression.

“I know you can’t understand me,” she began, a soft smile on her lips. I grunted once, shifting slightly on the cushion. Lady, if you only knew. “but I would like to apologize for what just occurred. Prince Blueblood, my insufferable nephew, tends to be a little self-centered. He believes that everything is for his pleasure, including humans.”

Yeah, he kinda gave me that impression already. The princess sighed heavily and massaged her temples with her hooves. Looking up at the ceiling, she began to remove the gold chest plate from around her neck before speaking,

“If it weren’t for the fact that he is family, I wouldn’t be so willing to turn a blind eye. What he does to humans is just so... wrong. It’s... it’s... well, none of them complain yet, right?" She chuckled darkly at her unamusing joke. I shifted nervously on the cushion.

Why is she telling me all of this? Does she really think I can’t understand her, or does she have some kind of clue? Glancing back at the desk, I sighed. If only I still had that bloody paper. Turning back to the princess, I saw that she was looking at me intently, her eyes studying me closely with interest.

“Strange,” she muttered, tilting her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. “It’s almost like you can… no, that’s impossible.” Her words trailed off as she continued to stare at me. Slowly, she rose to her hooves and approached me, her eyes never leaving mine. The intensity of her gaze was intimidating, and I could practically feel myself beginning to sweat.

“I have lived a long life. More so than any other pony can possibly claim. I have watched as hundreds upon thousands of humans have passed by the palace, heading to the market. I have watched as they were sold, auctioned, bartered, and haggled for. Not a single one has ever managed to catch my eye before, but then you show up.” She slowly began to circle me, talking softly. It was more like she was thinking out loud than actually talking to me.

This is similar to a shark circling a seal, the voice in my head chimed in. I swallowed thickly as I slowly began to regret trusting her.

“There’s something special about you...” she began, before rubbing the tip of her nose against my shoulder as she passed. A tingling sensation ran through my body at the soft touch; it felt like an electric current had passed from her to me. She snorted, moving her head away from me. I could tell by her face that she had felt something as well.

“Hm, interesting. I wasn’t expecting that,” she said, staring at me with her head cocked to the side. “You felt it too, didn’t you?” She moved to stand in front of me, her wings fluttering gently at her sides. “That shiver that went down your spine when we first met? That coldness that bit into your skin when we touched? You have a certain energy about you, one that I cannot place. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before, yet so familiar. It drew me to you out by the main gate.” Her face drew closer to mine, her muzzle practically touching my nose.

“I first felt the energy several weeks ago out in the desert. I thought that perhaps the Changelings were up to something, but when I scried the area I found only you. You, alone and lost in the desert, struggling to survive. I’m not sure what gods or fates may have brought you here to me, but this cannot just be coincidence.” I wasn’t entirely sure I understood what she was muttering under her breath, but I was decided that I should probably take advantage of our close proximity.

Now’s my chance to try something risky, I thought, eyeing the princess cautiously. I needed to act quickly, but with caution. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to attack her. The little voice in my head was screaming that what I was about to do was a bad idea.

“Oh, who am I kidding?” she snorted, laughing to herself as she leaned back. “You can’t understand a word I’m saying!” Gritting my teeth, I made up my mind.

It’s now or never!

I brought up my hands and began to try and mime something that could be understood. I mimed writing on something, trying to get my point across. My frustration grew at the confused look on her face. I repeated the action, a growl escaping my mouth. At that, Celestia reared back, shocked.

YES! I silently cheered, already patting myself on the back. We’re making progress now—

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, my little human,” she said, hurriedly backing further away from me.

Or she takes it the wrong way, I thought, my eyes widening slightly in horror. Not good, not good, not good. Where’s paper when you need it?! Before I could even stand up, Celestia wrapped a bell that rested on her desk in her magic and gave it a loud ring. Instantly three servants came out of the woodwork. A pegasus, a unicorn, and a pony that had neither a horn or wings. Where the hell were they hiding?

“Please take this human and have him cleaned up immediately. He is a gift to my student, and must be made presentable before we send him off,” the princess said, earning a bow from all three.

Presentable? I hadn’t really stopped to think about it, but now that it was pointed out, I realized something quite horrifying. I reeked. Badly. Damn, how did I not notice this sooner? I smell like something that crawled into a sewer and died. I was actually impressed that the princess could even be in the same room as me, let alone as close as she had been, without retching.

Wait, no… I’m getting distracted! I still have a chance to—

Before I could act, a blinding flash of white light filled my senses, blinding me. When I could finally see again, I found myself in the large spa/bathing room that I saw earlier.

—communicate with… her. Shit. Well, there goes that well thought out plan out the window. And just like that, I was back at square one. I stood there, staring dumbly at the space where the princess’s head had been a split second earlier. My one chance at freedom and understanding, and it had just been ripped away from me. Needless to say, I was more depressed than a zombie at a blonde convention. How hard is it to show a fucking pony that I’m intelligent?!

As I sat there, sulking, I barely noticed as the unicorn mare gently removed my collar. She left my hands tied, though. Lifting me into the air with her magic, she deposited me into a large pool of water. I sneezed loudly when water got in my nose, causing one of the mares, the pegasus, to giggle. They tentatively began to scrub me with the various soaps and shampoos that were scattered around the perimeter of the pool of water. They used large brushes, as well as their hooves, to scrub the dirt off of my flesh.

The pegasus hovered by my shoulders, massaging my scalp with her hooves as she gently worked the suds into my hair. The other two worked on the rest of my body, starting at my shoulders and slowly working their way down. I silently allowed them to work, wincing slightly whenever they hit a tender spot or were too rough. I was dimly aware that they were talking to each other as they worked. I couldn’t overhear what was being said, however, as I was too busy trying to figure out my next move.

I did notice, however, when one of the mares got a little too bold for my liking. A soapy hoof on a rather intimate area of my body immediately snapped me back to reality. Automatically, I jerked away from the contact, causing all of them to gasp at my sudden movement.

“Oops, he didn’t seem to like that,” the offending mare, the pony with no horn or wings said, hoof still outstretched.

“He mustn’t have had much interaction of that sort before,” the unicorn said, her hooves still on my back. “Maybe he wasn’t a breeding human?”

“What? With his good looks and how healthy he is? They had to be using him for breeding. Anything else is just a waste!” the pegasus said, a smirk slowly spreading across her face as her wings twitched by her side. I felt a blush slowly spread across my face.

Why the hell do they find me so damn attractive? We’re two completely different species! I prayed that it was an 'isn’t-my-dog-the-cutest-one-you’ve-ever-seen' kind of attraction, and not... well, hopefully it was the first way.

“Maybe he’s young enough that they weren’t able to use him yet,” the unicorn said, continuing to wash my back, her hooves working the soap in with little circling motions.

“I don’t know,” the pegasus said as she washed her hooves off. “He looks old enough to have been in use for several years.” I tried in vain to sink deeper into the pool. I was not enjoying this conversation at all.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter,” the normal pony said as she pulled herself out of the pool and shook of the excess water in her coat. Turning to look down at me, she smiled. “Alright, I’d say that he’s pretty much clean now. Just get him out of the water, dry him off, and polish his teeth and he should be good to go!” The unicorn nodded, her horn lighting up as she stepped off my back. I found myself trapped once again in her magical grasp. She lifted me out of the water and I simply hung limply in the air, dripping water onto the tiled floor, as she levitated me over to a towel waiting on the floor. Placing me on the towel gingerly, the glow around her horn grew brighter. My entire body instantly felt like it had been plunged into a furnace; I was dry in a manner of seconds.

After drying me off, the unicorn slowly advanced towards me, a small brush hovering by her head. I felt something grasp my jaw and force it open. I struggled slightly against the force, but I was ineffective against it. She moved the brush closer to my now exposed teeth and I realized what she was up to. Realizing that I was no immediate danger unless she tried to make me deep-throat the toothbrush, I relaxed. She began to gently, yet firmly, brush my teeth.

The feeling, it was indescribable. Now, I wasn’t that big into dental health back home. I brushed my teeth once a day, that was it. I never flossed, and I rarely used mouthwash. I went to the dentist every six months, and had to experience the horror of braces for nearly five years. But after two weeks of not being able to brush my teeth, the feeling of the bristles scrubbing away the buildup of plaque was heavenly.

After several minutes of this bliss, the brush was removed from my mouth and the unicorn smiled to herself.

“There we go. All done!” She turned to the others and nodded her head as the brush vanished into thin air. “He’s all set and ready to go.” They both nodded to her, and the pegasus flew out of the room and back down the hall. I had a second to wonder where she went before I was surrounded again by a blinding flash of white light.

As spots danced in front of my eyes, I realized I was back in the princess’s room. She was still there, of course. Resting on her bed with her legs tucked underneath her body, she smiled at me as I slowly regained my senses. After my vision stopped dancing, I glanced around the room.

There was a new addition to the room since had last been in it. A large crate with small holes cut in the sides. Oh… I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Glancing back towards the princess, I noticed that she seemed to be putting the finishing touches to a letter. Floating the quill back to her desk, she rolled up the scroll, stood from the bed, and approached us, tucking the letter under her wing as she did so.

“Alright. Everything has been prepared and the details have been taken care of,” Celestia said, nodding to the three ponies with me. “Let’s get him nice and comfortable for his journey.” I was immediately lifted and unceremoniously dropped into the open crate. They appeared to be trying to be gentle, as I wasn’t shoved in head first this time, and there were blankets lining the bottom of the crate.

The lid was secured before I could react and near darkness fell over me. I could hear movement from outside, but I could barely see anything through the holes. As I sat in the gloom, I could feel my heart rate slowly beginning to rise. I’m not claustrophobic, but I was getting very uncomfortable with being shoved into small spaces.

“—blankets I can understand, but why the crate? Wouldn’t it be easier to get a cage your majesty?” I had trouble hearing the conversation going on outside, each voice muffled to the point where I could just barely make out the words spoken.

“No. I simply despise that some of my ponies see fit to put humans into those metal contraptions like they are some kind of criminal. A crate, while not exactly the best traveling condition, will do fine for what I have planned.” Even muffled, I could still hear the coldness in the princess’s voice at the mention of cages.

Nice to know that she actually does care, I thought half sarcastically, half relieved. I did not want to be placed in one of those things for any reason. If I didn’t see another cage for as long as I lived, it would be too soon.

"Should I send for Captain Tempest, your majesty? We can have her take him down to the transportation center,” another voice piped up. The pegasus mare, if I remember correctly.

“That won’t be necessary. I would like this particular package to arrive as soon as possible. A special delivery, if you will, and what better mode of transportation than a first class trip via magic!”

...what?

“So, with everything taken care of, I shall send him off immediately. I have to go meet with my sister so that I can lower the sun for her moon.”

...WHAT? What the fuck is she talking about? She thinks that she needs to lower the sun? How stupid can you—

A blinding green light shone through the many holes, creating an eerie effect in the darkness of the crate. I half expect a little gray alien to appear in the crate with me. I was suddenly gripped by a strong pulling and pushing sensation. My body, as well as the crate, seemed to be forced through a tight space. It was a horrible sensation; being squeezed through a hole that was too small for my body, in complete darkness, isn’t as fun as you would think. I was unable to move, breathe, or even scream. My body seemed to become impossibly small, but impossibly large at the same time. I felt like I was going to toss my cookies right then and there.

Suddenly, there was another flash of green, followed by what sounded like a large… burp? The crate immediately returned to normal and fell through the air before hitting a hard surface, causing me to hit my head on one of the sides as it tumbled. I groaned as I felt my head begin to pound, my brain trying to escape from the confines of my skull. The sensation didn’t help my nausea. That entire trip was not going to be added to my list of fun things to do, I’ll tell you that much. Once was enough for me, and even that might have been too much.

As I lay there, trying to keep myself from emptying what little contents my stomach had all over myself, I became aware of movement and voices outside of the crate.

“Dang, Spike, what the hay did you eat?” a raspy voice asked with a laugh.

“It’s from Princess Celestia! She even sent a letter with it,” another voice said, sounding excited. “I wonder what she would be sending me this late in the day though…”

“Well, let’s crack this bad boy open and find out!” the first voice said from somewhere above me. The lid became wrapped in a pink aura.

Welp… Ci risiamo, I thought, bracing myself.

The lid was ripped off, and light shone in, blinding me. Maybe I should invest in some sunglasses soon.

I heard several gasps above me and I was lifted up and out of the crate, and into the unknown.