"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field." Dwight D Eisenhower

"Come on, there Scorch, we're almost there!" signaled Applejack.

"I know that, my HUD says we're only a few meters away!" replied the demo man.

The invisible Scorch had his rifle out and was trying to keep himself at a steady pace so he wouldn't outrun Applejack. The cowpony might have been fast, but this was a slow walk for a 23rd member.

"Are you sure you're family is going to accept housing a fucking alien for the night?" questioned Scorch.

Applejack ignored the swear gave a dry laugh. "Well of course partner! The Apple family is a hospitable bunch. Besides, Ah'm the element of honesty...well Ah used to. If Ah told em' you weren't gonna be trouble, they'd believe me in second!"

Scorch would have smelt the scent of apples if he had turned off his filter. His radar informed him that there was a massive plantation squaring kilometers right next to a barn.

The demo man found himself looking up at the night sky. It was just so, peaceful. He was used to observing the night sky being littered with starships, blowing each other apart with rail guns, tesla cannons and nukes as they raced to provide support to raging infantry. The demo man also noted how the stars were animated themselves. He had an epiphany that the atmosphere of Epona was distorting the sky to make stars appear stranger. The night sky on many colonies provided mixed results as well, with stars appearing smaller, bigger or just not showing up at all.

"So Scorch!" interrupted Applejack. "What da ya think of the barn?"

The demo man looked around the plantation and observed all the facilities. All the farm equipment was defiantly primitive compared to the terraformers, drones and structures implemented by the UTF Agriculture and Resources division. What struck him most however, was that the farm equipment wasn't Renaissance or enlightenment era. Scorch's data banks informed him the farm was akin to something of the late 19th century encountered in southern America.

"Primitive, I'll leave it at that." finally answered the cloaked Scorch.

Applejack's ears dropped in disappointment. Shadow had such high expectations.

"But defiantly ahead of your current time frame." added the Canadian demo man.

Applejack looked back up. "What da ya mean? The designs for this farm were developed around the same time as the other building in Equestria."

"That's valid, but compared to the architecture of resident homes, you're leading by a few centuries." explained Scorch. "You know, pony kind is all over the place in terms of innovation. You can't seem to stick within a current time frame. We've observed renaissance levels of literature, but with camera's of the 20th century and barns of the late 19th. The peculiar thing is however, these displaced developments were invented at the in time."

"Scorch, this is beyond ma level of thinkn'." shook Applejack. "Ah think you're worryin' yourself for nuthin'."

Scorch, still cloaked, spoke in a fake southern accent. "Speakin' of worryin' yourself for nuthin'." Applejack wanted to glare at Scorch if she knew where he was standing.

"I also think ponykind isn't consistent with culture as well. You have traces of ancient greek, traces of ancient rome, traces of England, France and in the case of you and your family, traces of Americans as well."

Applejack knitted her eyes. "What in da right mind is an American?"

The invisible Scorch inhaled. "Before we unified, Earth was divided into many nations. Each country more or less had it's own cultures as well. Pony kind seems to replicate the all of the white cultures like the ones I just mentioned. What's funny is that the cultures I listed influenced each other in order of mention. This only solidifies our theory of Ponykind evolving like humans. Just at a slower rate."

"Scorch, ya didn't answer ma question! What the hay is an American!" beamed Applejack.

"America was one of the countries that existed before the creation of the fucking United Terran Federation. Your family aligns itself with Americans. Scarecrow himself is of American decent."

"But Scarecrow doesn't have ma accent." noted the orange mare.

"That's because Scarecrow's ancestors haled from the northern region of America. Based on your nature, I'm assuming that your family is a mirror image of southern Americans who were often rural." explained the demo man.

"Well, yer not gonna find out squat if we keep standin' here yappin'. Come on, we gotta family to meet." Applejack puffed and trotted to her dwelling, trying to get all the metaphysics out of her head.

Scorch just realized something clever. In middle school he learned that Americans from the south were always armed and supported gun rights while Canadians didn't care much for firearms. In the current situation, he was armed with a rifle, rocket launcher and a shit ton of grenades while Applejack condemned the idea of killing.

The orange Earth pony used her teeth to pry open a door knob.

'Why the hell would ponies have door knobs? It's a finger operated mechanism. Unless they felt...compelled to manufacture them to follow humanity.'though Scorch.

Right before Applejack opened the door, she turned around, hoping to dace Scorch and spoke with a misaimed glare. "Now, ah want you to be nice to mah family. You owe me for letting you stay here."

"Yeah. Nice. I probably can do that." sarcastically muttered Scorch. His databanks and the VI in his suit informed him that southerners and Canadians didn't get along since the American Civil war.

Applejack entered the room, followed by the cloaked Scorch who ducked and entered the room. The orange mare quickly closed the door behind her.

"Applejack is that you?" said a squeaky young southern accent from across the hall.

"Dat's right! I'm back y'all!" yelled Applejack.

Suddenly, the cutest little filly that Scorch had ever seen scurried into the room. The filly, known as Applebloom, rushed into the fore hooves and embraced her sister.

Suddenly, two more ponies entered the room. One was a large red stallion with an orange mane. The other was was green and a fairly old pony. Scorch's HUD read that she was around 85 years old.

"Oh, Applejack, I've missed you so much. I know we haven't talked for only a few days, but it felt like a life time." cheered Granny Smith.

"Eeyup." nodded Big Mac.

Applejack stopped embracing her younger sister and hugged the rest of her family. After clearing her throat;

"Hey y'all. Ah'm really sorry Ah've been gone for so long. Ah only expected ta take a few hours, but then aliens show up. Ah'll tell you, getting back to Ponyville wasn't easy."

"It's okay Applejack. I understand, aliens are a handfull." assured Granny Smith. All of a sudden, the grand mother crossed her fore hooves. "Do any of have the feeling of a splitting headache?"

Applejack stomped her hoof to change the subject. "Look, ah've been gone for too long. All that work on the field that ah was supposed to do has ta be made up for!"

"That's okay sis, we filled in for you. Turns out it was easier than we thought!" remarked Applebloom.

"Don't ah have ta make it up to y'all?" asked Applejack nervously.

"We're family. You don't have ta make up for nuthin'!" exclaimed Granny Smith.

"Eyeup!" added Big Mac.

'Holy shit, these family values are killing me.' thought Scorch.

The invisible demo man lightly tapped the orange mare on the back to remind her not to get sidetracked.

Applejack froze at the odd sensation of being stoked by fingers before snapping back to reality.

"Listen y'all. We gotta guest tonight!" announced Applejack.

"Is it somepony we know, or is it somepony new?" asked Applebloom.

Applejack gave a weak laugh. "He's not a pony."

In the heard of the moment, Scorch uncloaked and revealed himself to the Apple family. Right before he could introduce himself to the family;

"ARGH! My heart!" screamed Granny Smith.

Taken by utter shock and overwhelmed by the complexity of the human's appearance, the gand mother felt her heart give out as she struggled to keep herself off.

Finally, the elder Apple collapsed to the floor. She disappeared off of Scorch's motion tracker. Her vitals went blank.

Applejack pressed her ear to Granny Smith's chest, desperately hoping to hear a beat. Suddenly, tears formed in the orange mare's eyes. "Granny's gone."

The other Apples were taken by shock. Scorch, being a 23rd member, was not fazed out by Granny's death.

"Everypony stand back now!" roared the demo man.

Big Mac desperately wanted to charge Scorch down, but for some reason, he felt compelled to follow the order of the human. Applejack and Applebloom did the same.

Scorch laid down his SCAR Z approached to corpse of the Grandmother. Using voice controls, "Suit. Divert all power form cloaking and barriers to form a shock burst."

WARNING. DIVERTING ALL POWER FROM KINETIC BARRIERS WILL LEAVE YOU DEFENSELESS UNTIL SOLAR RECHARGE.Flashed Scorch's HUD.

Scorch used neural controls to acknowledge he was aware of the consequences. Through their pool of tears, the 3 Apple Children observed a sphere of electric current form in Scorch's hand.

With a mighty swing, Scorch forced his charged hand onto the heart of Granny Smith. The electricity swarmed all over the elder mare's body, and jump started her heard with enough energy to reinforce cellular activity.

All of a sudden, Granny Smith woke up and breathed heavily. She found her self being hugged by her three grand children.

"Settle Down!" yelled granny smith. The elder Apple faced Scorch. "Did I die?"

"For a minute." coldly replied Scorch.

"You...you saved my life. You brought me back from the dead!" blurted Granny Smith.

"It's my job to defend the UTF constitution, which demands soldiers to protect the innocent." said Scorch.

"How did ya know that would save ma granny?" asked Applejack as she wiped her tears.

"This isn't the first time I brought back somebody, in this case somepony, back from the dead." answered Scorch.

Applebloom joyfully ran up to the demo man. "We're forever in your debt partner!"

"I just need a place to spend the night." laughed Scorch.

"Well we got our self a spare bedroom upstairs for guests, if ya don't mind!" offered Granny Smith.

Scorch paused for a minute before speaking again. "I don't think a bed is going to support my weight so-"

"Don't worry, Big Mac doesn't min' if somepony sleeps in his room right?" insisted Applejack.

"Eeyup." answered the large red stallion.

Scorch inspected the large stallion and chuckled. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"Nnnope!" shook Big Mac.

"You and Overwatch would get along perfectly." joked Scorch.

Granny Smith headed into the kitchen nervously. "Sadly ah made dinner fer four. You hungry Scorch?"

"No ma'am. I'm augmented to go days without food." replied Scorch.

Applebloom and Big Macintosh followed their grand mother into the room leaving Applejack and Scorch.

"You sure are a lot more restrained than usual. Somehtin' wrong sugar cube?" questioned the orange cowpony.

"Negative." denied Scorch. "I've gone public now so I have to start acting like a mysterious 23rd member to keep up a reputation." He pointed a finger of Applejack. "By the way, I never acted out of line."

"No problem. Ah'm trying to forget about it ma self." assured Applejack.

The human and Earth Pony entered the kitchen. Scorch noted how the chairs themselves were meant for human legs and that the entire kitchen contained 20th appliances that should be operated by fingers.

Scorch removed his rocket launcher from the magnetic plate on his back and set his rifle aside. Only his M20 rail pistol remained clipped to his magnetic belt.

The Apple family enjoyed their feast. Like the horses on Earth, their diet consisted of wheats and oats. Finally, Applebloom broke the silence with her cute voice. "So tell us about yourself, Mr. Scorch!"

"I'm male, born in Vancouver, raised on Requiem, 24 years old, conscripted in the 23rd counter terrorist division of the United Terran Federation. Period." said Scorch banally.

"Can you tell me about your job?" asked the filly.

"I stop bad guys and explore possible world to live in."

"That's not much." whimpered Applebloom.

"Well, there's only so much I can say without revealing information that's classified or information you don't want to know." defended the demo man. He placed a hand on his chin as slumped on the table.

"You said you were a demolitions. What does that mean?" piped up Applebloom, desperate for answers.

"It means I defeat my enemies by blowing them up. Can you not ask me about my job. I don't want you all to have nightmares!" beamed the demo man.

Applejack remembered something. "Say Big Mac, we don't have anythin' flammable lyin' 'round right?"

"Nnnope." shook the red stallion. "Why?"

Scorch got up excitedly. "Did somepony say flammable?"

"Scorch, there is nothin' you can burn. This place is fire proof." chastised Applejack.

Scorch held a grenade. "I can contend that. Come on."

The rest of the Apple family was taken by surprise. Applejack tried to lighten the mood as Scorch collected himself.

"Sorry y'all some men just want to watch da world burn."

"What if I were to ask you questions on farming? Would that be fine?" questioned Granny Smith.

Scorch nodded.

"Have you ever been on a farm before?"

"Not really. Me and the rest of my friends were city boys. Privately owned farms often displayed strong support for insurrectionists, particularly Mega Corp terrorists so most of the time me any my squad spent time on farms interrogating suspects. A lot of the time they were smuggling weapons or funding the insurrections directly." answered Scorch.

Granny's face fell. "Why would an honest farmer support bad guys or large evil corporations?"

"Money." chirped Scorch.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Wait. So there are no private farms on the UTF?"

"More or less. We have a libertarian social policy but a socialistic economic policy where the government controls the main means of production." replied Scorch.

"But dat ain't fair! Farmers work best when left alone. Nationalization is stealin' honestly earned profits and tyranny! Our princesses would never dream of stomping on a ponies business." snorted the orange mare.

"Well, considering there haven't been any famine strikes for.....half a millennia. Who cares about profits?" reviled Scorch. "Besides, UTF famers pretty much live a free life and agriculture is hardly ten percent of the human economy."

"Maybe if ya didn' regulate farms so harshly, there would be no terrorists!" noted Applejack.

"If farmers weren't greedy, retarded capitalists, there wouldn't need to be regulation in the first place!" countered Scorch.

"Ah, jus' can't see a farmer darin' to sell him or herself to greedy business ponies. they should keep their own land and dow what ever the heck they want with it. Besides, farmers have good intentions, you don' need ta watch 'em all the time." rambled Applejack.

The masked demo man paused before speaking again. "What were to happen if another family came around that started selling apples?"

"We can't have dat! We'd either buy 'em out or make sure we ain't got no competition." explained Big Macintosh.

"How big is the apple production of Equestria, is it limited to this farm?" questioned Scorch.

"No. The Apples are huge family spread across the country. We even own the town of Appaloosa." chirped Applebloom.

Scorch smirked under his mask. "Let's see....you believe farmers work best when left alone because they're totally not going to making nation scarring mistakes and have a monopoly on the entire production of a crop. Gee, your family sounds like a greedy corporation to me."

"We're not greedy." whimpered Applebloom. "We make apples for all of Equestria to enjoy."

"Humans sure have a lot of advanced technology. How's farming like?" asked Granny Smith who desperately tried to change the subject.

"Well we've come a long way. We have colonies just meant for agriculture like the planet Demeter." answered Scorch.

"Huh, a world meant for farming. Sounds like heaven." chirped Granny Smith.

Scorch continued. "I don't know how to explain this without confusing you, but farming...has changed. Your farming techniques equate that of human techniques utilized in the 19th century. Ours, is much more advanced. First, we terraform the inhospitable worlds."

One could hear crickets whisper. Scorch rolled his eyes and spoke in an annoyed tone.

"It means our fancy space ships change barren planets to be habitable with cool space beams. Can you comprehend that?"

Big Mac frowned at the demo man.

"After terraformation. We use robots to plant seeds on the planet and deploy livestock trough the use of cargo ships. Once everything is in place, the government creates agriculture zones which is mostly made up of framers working together with robots to produce food for the populace. Materials such as rakes and tractors have been replaced with drones and other less primitive material."

"Sounds complicated." noted Applejack.

"It is. Farmers need to have a good understanding of drone technology as well as plant biology in order for them to properly grow the best food." explained the counter terrorist.

"That's horrible. Farmin' comes from the inside. It's supposed to allow ponies to live a simple life free from government control." shook Applejack.

"Yeah because humans totally need more uneducated, conservative farmers who constantly cry secession jeopardizing the food production of our species." sarcastically remarked Scorch.

The atmosphere was dead silent until Applebloom broke it. "But ah got a B- on ma math test."

"Great!" false cheered Scorch.

"But still. Farmin' and technology don' go well together. A year ago, a bunch of con ponies showed up and tried ta run me and the family out of business. But our hoof produced sure spoke for itself. Right?" spoke up Applejack.

"Eeyup." agreed Big Mac.

"Okay. First, our technology doesn't degrade food quality since the UTF prohibits the use of harmful chemicals in crops for the sake of health. Second, since all farmers work for the government, nobody needs to worry about being run out. Third, things CHANGE! Our population grew to extreme lengths, how is hand made farming going to help a system of colonies unless we all decided to quit our jobs and work as famers? Now we have technology and intelligent people producing safe crops for the mass people. Traditional farming wouldn't have provided enough." defended Scorch.

"He's right." condescended Big Mac.

Applejack scowled. "What da ya mean?"

"Think about it. Our hoof produced cider was great and all, but it couldn't feed enough bellies." explained the stallion. "And you remember Applebuck season right? You were wasting yourself trying to plow through a simple field. Since we didn't use technology and were so insistent on being privatized, we almost couldn't accomplish squat."

"But what about the farm folk? What about their jobs? What happened to 'em when the government took over?" glared Applejack. "Were they drafted to the army?"

"No. They got educated and found higher ranking jobs. Drones took their place to produce better quality crops in higher quantities." beamed the masked commando.

"What! Humans completely desecrated the agriculture business by draggin' yer fancy mathematics and drones into it." reviled Applejack.

"Applebloom cover your ears." ordered Scorch. The filly placed her hooves on her eardrums.

"We didn't desecrate shit! We changed! Something you can't grasp the concept of." stated Scorch. "New business competitor? Run them out of business. New technology? disregard it simply because it's new and doesn't work out in the beginning and you're too lazy to adapt. You're asked to be part of a bigger community? You call the government tyrants."

Applejack sighed in defeat and unplugged Applebloom's hoofs from her ears.

"Robots that help with farming. Seems like yesterday we invented the plow." sighed the elder Apple who was lost in thought all the while.

Scorch knitted his eyebrows under his mask. "You seem to have lived here a long time."

"You betcha. I kinda found the town myself." bragged the grandmother.

"Liar." countered Scorch.

Applejack slammed her hooves on the table. "How dare you call ma grandmother a liar!"

Scorch remained unmoved. "If she's telling the truth than why is she 85 years old despite structures of the town and a history book mentioning it to be more than 200?"

Applebloom gasped. "Granny! You lied to ma class!"

The grandmother blushed. "Settle now, it was just a little white-"

"Ya broke the family code! How can ah be the element of honesty when my grand mother fibbed about her life!" chastised Applejack.

"Eeeyup." agreed Big Mac.

"Does this mean zap Apples are a lie too?" asked Applebloom.

Granny Smith shook her head. "No no. Ah was tellin' the truth 'bout zap apples."

Scorch raised an eyebrow. "Zap Apples?"

"They're a magical brand of Apple that our branch of the family is known for." winked Granny Smith.

"There's no such thing as magic." muttered the hooded human.

"Shadow squad thinks that everythin' can be explain usin' some sciency facts." chuckled Applejack.

"Wow, you must have done well at school." sarcastically beamed Scorch. Applejack frowned at him in return.

"Gee. Zap Apples were a tricky subject for me." pondered Granny Smith. "Ah never found out how they work."

"I can probably crack the case." smirked the black clad soldier. Scorch and Granny Smith spent the next half hour discussing the plant and the reasoning behind the rituals. To Scorch's surprise, the grandmother listened intuitively to his explanations and understood a lot of the concepts he brought up.

Granny Smith took in all the new information before cracking a smile. "Boy howdy! You just solved the mystery of the Zap Apples. Sure wish the kids were awake to hear that."

Scorch turned around to see Applejack, Applebloom and Big Mac sleeping. Scorch rolled his eyes under neath his mask, he gave a snap with his gloved fingers to pry them awake.

The noise caught the sleeping equines off guard.

Applebloom covered her head with her hooves. "What was that noise!"

"It was a snap." answered Scorch. He gave another one.

"Argh! That sound is just so disturbing." groaned Applejack. "And the way you move your fingers is just weird."

Scorch gave a sigh of annoyance. "While you 3 red necks were asleep. I unraveled the mystery of Zap Apples with educated rational thought."

"What's a red neck?" asked Big Mac.

"Yeah, ah heard you call me dat before." panned Applejack.

"Red neck is a derogatory term used for southern Americans." blurted the masked demo man.

"We're not southern. Nor are we Americans." pointed Applebloom.

"Scorch here has a crazy idea that our family is rippin' off human culture." announced Applejack.

"I'm not science wiz but I'm certain that we ain't copyin' nobody." insisted Granny Smith.

Scorch gave a sigh of annoyance that blew his bandanna forward. "Look, ponykind is a copy of the western Europeans and Americans. You're architecture and literature is renaissance English and the values, accent, as well as occupation of your family is souther American of the 19th century!"

Scorch accessed pictures on his wrist computer's databank and a hologram appeared over the table.

The Apple family was trapped in a state of awe by the hologram.

"Sure is a fancy way of keeping photos." admired Granny Smith.

Scorch used neural controls to shift to a picture of rural America. While the original image had been taken in black and white, modern technology allowed the pictured to reappear colored.

"This is a farm in Southern USA in 1870. notice any similarities?" questioned the demo man.

The Apple took a good look at the farm. Sure enough, the setting looked familiar.

Scorch turned off the hologram once the message sunk in.

"My Gosh. We are copyin' those humans!" realized Granny Smith.

"So those old southern folk were like us?" nervously squeaked Applebloom.

"That's right. Like you, they were farm loving, government hating and skeptical of skepticism." said the masked soldier.

"You know what's funny?" continued Scorch. "I'm from Canada and I learned that people from the Southern USA shared animosity since the American Civil War between the urban North and rural South."

"Why were the North and South fightin'?" questioned Big Mac.

"The southerners betrayed the Union because they wanted to own slaves." explained Scorch.

"Ah don't believe you! If southern folk are just like the Apple Family, than there's now way they'd hold slaves because we as sure as heck wouldn't." defended Applejack.

"Well history is history. The south wanted to own slaves, ironically thought the government was being unjust by trying to free the slaves, seceded and fought a war while those slaves to escaped to civilized Montreal." chanted Scorch.

There was a long awkward silence. Scorch needed to do something before pushed the gears further.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have judged you based on your human counter parts. You're trying to be nice, and I'm just being callous." apologized the demo man.

"Hey you're just stressed." muttered Granny Smith. She looked up at Scorch with a grin. "I think I have a job for you."

The family and Scorch found themselves outside the house facing the barn.

"So what do you want me to do?" asked the demo man. Scorch had his rifle drawn out.

"Well, we're going to build a new barn soon since this one keeps falling." began Applejack.

"Well of course." beamed Scorch. The commando had magnetic vision turned on and was analyzing the structure. "All the nails of this barn are rusted, the wood is borderline dust and whoever built this barn has no sense of geometry."

"Can you do better?" muttered Big Mac.

"Eeeyup." insisted Scorch in a fake southern accent.

Granny Smith explained the situation. "Since we're going to build a new barn from scratch we need this one torn down-"

Before Granny Smith could finish instructing Scorch fired a rifle grenade at the barn, causing the structure to explode and catch on fire. There nothing left but a pile of ash.

The entire Apple Family had their mouths open in shock as they observed the wreckage.

Scorch who was unfazed felt the night calling. "Well, I'm going to go to sleep."

The members of the Apple Family took a hold of themselves and made similar statements. Scorch noticed that Big Mac didn't seem enthusiastic about giving up his bed.

"Hey Mac. I'll take the barn." called out Scorch.

"You sure?"

"Positive. I don't think even your bed could take my weight." muttered Scorch. With abnormally fast speed, he made it to the other barn in 2 seconds.

Applejack and her family separated from the hooded Human as they went inside their dwelling. Right when the family made it to the living room-

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" yelled Scorch's mechanical voice.

Applejack gave a weak laugh. "Ah'll go check it out."

The orange mare dashed inside the barn to investigate what was going on. The last thing she wanted was an enraged demo man running amuck.

Scorch stood next to the cows and was breathing heavily.

"Hey Applejack." greeted a cow.

"Oh, hi Mootilda." replied Applejack. "Scorch, what's da problem?"

Scorch pointed at the cows. "What is this?"

After Applejack got over Scorch's fingers; "They're just cows. What, you want to sleep in a barn and didn't expect any animals?"

"Animals? Applejack these cows are sentient." growled Scorch.

"That's right. We can talk, think and feel." noted a Cow.

"I spoke to these cows and you're treating them like...farm animals!" gritted the masked commando.

"Well that's how you're supposed to treat cows." sighed Applejack. "Don't humans raise cows too?"

"Yes! But those cows aren't sentient. They're dumb animals!" countered Scorch. "These cows are capable of free thought and you're suppressing their nature and locking them up. This is fucking slavery."

"We're not treatin' 'em like slaves. Cows are free!" defended Applejack.

"Can they leave at will?"

"Well no."

"Did they agree to have they're milk harvested?"

"Uh...no."

"Do they have a say in the way you can treat them?"

"No...again."

"Does Equestria's laws and rights apply to them."

(Gulp) "No...."

"If a cow is born into this barn, does it have to enter your service?"

".......yes." squeaked Applejack.

Scorch shook his head. "Just wow. The Apple family really is like southern USA. Right down to slavery."

"But you don't get it!" stomped Applejack. "Da cows don't mind. We provide 'em with food and shelter in return for their milk.....and freedom ah guess."

"That is exactly what those neo confederate apologists kept saying." glared Scorch. As the human grew madder, the pain in Applejack's head grew in synchronization.

"For violating law 5 of the United Terran Federation constitution which states; 'No human shall ever be a slave nor an involuntary servant to another human on Earth or her colonies.' I am placing you and your family under arrest."

Applejack started sweating. "Scorch this isn't a UTF world. Human laws can't be enforced here."

"I AM THE LAW!" growled Scorch as he readied a pair of kinetic barrier hand cuffs.

Applejack was desperate. "Come on Scorch, how isn't nationalization no different from slavery anyway."

Scorch groaned. "It's always about the government with you farmers is it? Let me tell you something horsey. Even though the UTF is tight on agriculture workers, they still have the same rights as the rest of humans, have a say in their job and government, can leave when they want to and are allowed to be a part of society like any other human."

Right before Scorch could imprison the cowpony he turned to the cows. "You know what, I have a better idea."

Scorch drew his pistol and aimed at the lock. The unsupressed gauss bullet created a loud noise that nearly woke up town and Shadow. Scorch quickly sent a message to the rest of Shadow using thought mail to explain the situation.

Finally he turned to the cows.

"What's going on?" asked Mootilda.

"You're free." stated Scorch.

"What?" gasped the cows.

Scorch pointed outside. "Go on. These ponies don't control you anymore. I'm freeing you like the Canadian I am."

"But we like being here. We have a home." said another cow.

Scorch face palmed. "You don't get it, do you? These ponies are playing you for suckers. They keep you locked in this fucking cage to harvest your milk and you can't say anything about it."

Scorch spent the next 25 minutes explaining natural rights and the injustices of capitalism to the cows while Applejack tried to get the ringing out of her head.

"Now onward! You cows have a path to be free and rule yourselves. Let no ponies stop you!" cheered Scorch.

Applejack and Scorch watched as the cows rallied into the woods to parts unknown.

30 seconds later, a group of conveniently placed animated wolves jumped out of a bush and ambushed the cows, ripping them apart one by one.

"Ah can't watch!" squealed Applejack as she looked away.

Scorch, being a psychotic 23rd member, was unfazed by the cow's death. The commando simply primed a frag grenade and threw it to the cluster of wolves.

The canines looked at the explosive the moment it detonated, sending wolf parts as well as cow corpses everywhere.

"Bad dream! Bad dream! Bad dream! Bad dream! Bad dream! Bad dream! Bad dream!" yelled Applejack as she scurried inside.

"Better to die your own man than live a slave!" exclaimed Scorch.

Scorch simply turned around, started a warm fire, and camped outside for the night.

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: The views reflected here on farming, economics or Southerners here do not generally equate those of mine. I don't hate people from Southern USA and I'm not advocating total socialism. Also, sorry for the inconsistent capitalizations.

By the way, I've noticed that the demo man and heavy of any video game or work of fiction is always the one of the lowest intelligence. What do you think?

Honestly, why do so many HiEs ignore the fact that Equestria has southerners in it?