"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort."- Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

"Then we're going to exchange the funniest jokes we know. And after that we're going to make cupcakes that are all sorts of flavors like chocolate, coffee, vanilla, strawberry, red velvet, rainbow dash, pistachio, caramel and my favorite; energy drink. Oh boy energy drink tastes so good like a mixture of coffee and soda and gives 4 times happiness. And you know what makes me happy? GAMES! We're going to go play at a lot of games like pin the tail on the pony, monopony and blister twister! Then we'll play truth and dare, who doesn't love that? I pinkie promise to follow every dare I get!"

Overwatch simply sighed. Pinkie had gone on and on along the walk to SugarCube corner. The pink mare was still stuck to his cloaked head and talking all the while.

Overwatch hoped to have slipped to the bakery unnoticed like he normally would, but Pinkie Pie's relentlessness had attracted a lot of by standers who absorbed a floating mare hanging on to an invisible object while talking all the while. Unaware to both the reasoning behind the pink mare and who she was hanging on to, the townsfolk ignorantly dismissed it as "Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie."

"And then we're going challenge each other to a game of charades followed by karaoke!"

'I swear to the universe, I'm going to shove my sniper down your throat Johnson (Scarecrow) when I'm done with this.' thought Overwatch.

"We're here!" jumped Pinkie Pie.

The entire bakery stood before the sniper. He could almost taste the sugars and sweets right at the door way. Sadly, the sniper hated candy. HATED. Cakes and cookies were another story.

Pinkie Pie happily skipped inside while the cloaked marksman followed. Overwatch observed the number of animated cakes that were stored on the counter and shelves. As cartoony as they looked, the pastries felt very real and the sniper wished that he could sink his teeth into one. However, eating while drugged would fill him up with a simple bite.

"Oh, you just have to meet the cakes! They're the best family you could ever imagine."

Overwatch rolled his eyes under his shades. The sniper noted there were 4 more additional marks on his motion tracker.

"Pinkie Pie, is someone there?" asked a mare's voice from across the hallway.

"Yeah, who are you talking to?" This time, the voice was a stallion's.

All of a sudden, a blue Earth Pony mare that Overwatch assumed to be Mrs. Cake entered the room followed by a yellow Earth Pony stallion he guessed was Mr. Cake.

Pinkie Pie got ecstatic. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake, is it alright if I have a sleep over tonight?"

Mrs. Cake looked at her husband. "A sleepover? Wow, this day just gets crazier especially after the whole aliens thing. By all means you can have a slumber party. Who's sleeping over?"

"Is is it Rainbow Dash? No she wouldn't like slumber parties. Is it Twilight?" asked Mr. Cake

Pinkie giggled. "No silly, my guest isn't a mare."

"A stallion eh?" muttered Mrs. Cake. She looked at her husband with the 'if you know what I mean' look.

"No silly, he's not a stallion."

The cake couple looked at each other before staring at Pinkie. "By the way, where is your guest?"

Pinkie jumped in the air. "Okay Overwatch! You can come out now."

The sniper uncloaked in the middle of the room and revealed himself to the cake couple by surprise, knocking them back by surprise and giving them a mindfuck.

As the Cake couple regained their senses and finally comprehended the appearance of the human, they slowly looked up at the sniper. Overwatch simply extended his hand to help the couple up.

The earth pony couple looked at the hand before screaming. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

The two ran up the stairs to fetch their foals before running back down stairs, grabbing the still cheery Pinkie Pie, heading straight into a storage room and locking the door.

Overwatch shrugged and slumped to the wall until the cakes manned up

Inside the storage room, the panicking baker couple struggled to gain ahold of themselves. The cake twins had awoken all the while. Pinkie was remained her happy self.

"Pinkie Pie! What is the meaning of this?" questioned Mr. Cake.

"It's just Overwatch. Sniper of Shadow, a unit of the 23rd counter terrorist division." chanted Pinkie.

"So you brought this alien ponykind doesn't know anything about to sleep at our house?" beamed Mr. Cake.

"Oh I know a lot of things about Overwatch!" cheered the party pony. "Like the fact he's a soldier, sadistic, possibly suffering from depression, anti social and trigger happy."

"Pinkie Pie, you have brought a cold blooded killer into our bakery!" chastised Mrs. Cake.

"Actually, humans are warm blooded. And besides, Overwatch is a soldier. He'll only turn into a meanie if you're a meanie to him." defended Pinkie.

Slowly Mrs. Cake opened the door a quarter way through. The occupants of the storage room looked at what laid on the other side. Overwatch was staring at the ponies with an expression somehow more blank than the rest of the masked Shadow. The glacial sniper was slowly sharpening his combat knife, still covered in blood stains from the Griffin encounter, against a wall. The blade made a disturbing noise.

After a long pause, Overwatch decided to break the silence. "So how're you doing?"

The cake twins immediately burst into tears, causing the cake family plus Pinkie Pie to retreat back to the storage room.

Mr. Cake crossed his fore hooves.

"Pinkie Pie, that stallion...or should I say man, leaves right now!"

Pinkie Pie gave a series of puppy dog eyes. "Come on, he's really humble when you get to know him. I think."

"Pinkie Pie what if he plans on murdering us in the middle of night or is planning to launch an alien invasion with his squad mates?" questioned Mrs. Cake.

"Oh you silly filly. If Overwatch wanted us dead, he would have killed us by now." giggled Pinkie Pie.

"That doesn't make me feel safer." gritted Mrs. Cake.

"Pinkie Pie, tell that abomination to leave our bakery at once!" ordered Mr. Cake.

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. "Did I ever tell you that Overwatch has the equipment to hear everything we're saying in this room right now?"

Mr. Cake's eye's widened. "Really?"

"Really!" answered out Overwatch's mechanical voice.

The color of the coats of the Cake couple started draining. Coming back to her senses, Mrs. Cake looked up at Pinkie;

"Pinkie Pie, that human will likely listen to you. I need you to tell him to leave immediately. There is no way I can sleep at night with an armed assassin in OUR bakery."

Pinkie Pie pleaded. "Come on!"

"No!" yelled the cake couple.

The 3 equines spent the next few minuted arguing. The party pony Pinkie promised a hundred times that she'd let nothing happen to the dwelling, but alas, she lost to the baker couple. SugarCube Corner was the property of the Cake family, after all.

"Pinkie Pie, our decision is final. He leaves now!" stammered Mrs. Cake.

Pinkie shook her head down. Suddenly, a haughty smirk formed on the mare's lips;

"Okey, Dokey, Loki." she sung in a sly voice. "Whose going to tell Overwatch to.....piss off?"

The Cake Parents gave a loud gasp. Mr. Cake hoped that the twins hadn't heard Pinkie swear. Mrs. Cake on the other hoof was fuming. "Pinkie Pie! How could you use such foul language?"

Pinkie Pie didn't drop her smile. "The fact doesn't change that somepony needs to tell Overwatch to leave. I want him to stay, so there's no way he's going to buy my dismissal."

Mr. Cake silently volunteered. Sweat was beginning to form on his fore head. "Okay, just because he dresses tough doesn't mean he is tough."

Building up courage, Mr. Cake opened the door. Overwatch had his art book out and was doing what he loved most. Scratch that, drawing was the thing he hated the least.

Confidently, the owner of SugarCube Corner trotted up to the unmoved sniper.

With a deep breath, the stallion was ready to talk down a mad, rabid dragon.

"OVERWATCH!"

--------------------------------------

Mr. Cake wouldn't stop crying. His fore hooves were burying his head furiously. His wife stood by his side trying to comfort him. His loud crying had awoken the cake twins again.

Pinkie Pie slowly trotted over to the yellow stallion. "You know what's funny? The fact that you just said Overwatch and immediately started crying."

Mr. Cake blew his nose in a tissue. "I just can't do it. He's too scary."

"Thank you." replied Overwatch to being called 'scary'.

Pinkie Pie got all excited. "Don't worry Mr. Cake. I know what will brighten everypony in the room!"

Pinkie Pie jumped up high. Before she could sing her smile song, Mrs. Cake grabbed the Pink Mare in the middle of the sky and pulled her down.

"Dear, just go upstairs with your assassin friend. Please."

Pinkie Pie used her sugar induced speed to escalate the stairs and called out to Overwatch to follow her up. The hooded sniper shot one look at the Cake family and gave a light growl, enough to give the family nightmares for the night.

Overwatch unenthusiastically walked into Pinkie Pie rooms. Expecting a sea of frilly pink and stuffed animals, Overwatch was surprised to find the room as relatively normal. 19th century, but normal.

The marksman detached his AM 90 sniper rifle from the magnetic plate on his back and set it aside along with his AP 80 PDR which he detached from from his hip plate.

Overwatch noticed the Pink Mare staring at his armaments with a quizzical look.

"Touch my weapons or any of my equipment and you'll be sorry." threatened the the marksman with utter insolence.

"Um....okay?" nervously stated Pinkie Pie as she tried to keep up her smile.

"So Overwatch, do you want a cupcake?" asked Pinkie Pie.

Before Overwatch could respond, Pinkie Pie used her sugar powered speed to sprint down the hall, grab a vanilla cupcake with blue frosting and rush back up.

"Here you go!" offered the party pony. She balanced the cupcake delicately with her hooves. And dropped it into Overwatch's reluctant palm.

The second the animated cupcake touched the human's hand, the confectionary set on fire. Leaving nothing bot black, seared, ash.

"...........So you really, really don't like cupcakes." noted Pinkie. She cheered up again. "Don't worry, there's a lot of things we can do tonight!"

Overwatch slumped back against the wall. Despite being a concrete structure the walls felt weak. Pinkie Pie meanwhile, had reached out of her eldritch closet to bring a mountain load of party activities for her and the sniper to enjoy.

Pinkie materialized in front of the cold soldier's mask.

"So are you ready for a time of excitement!"

"Meh."

"Alrighty then! What game do you wanna play first you whacky blacky soldier?"

Overwatch shrugged.

"I know what we can play then! Truth or Dare!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

After a moment pause. "I dare you not to ask me any truth questions for the reminder of the game."

Pinkie's face sunk. "Awwww. But then it will just be 'dare'! That's no fun!"

Overwatch merely crossed his arms.

"Okay then! How about a game of twister!" the Pink mare rushed to the pile of party games and pulled out the twister kit. The party pony emptied the contents of the box in a second and laid out its contents.

"Come on it will be fun!" Pinkie started playing the game by herself. She spun the dial. "Right fore hoof green." She placed her right fore hoof on a green spot. "Left hind hoof red." she placed her left hind hoof on the corresponding color.

Overwatch apathetically watched Pinkie Pie make a fool of her self and end up in a twisted mess from her own body parts. Pinkie Pie freed her self from the twisted mess and shook her head.

"Come on, don't you want to play you fumin' human?" cheerfully invited Pinkie Pie.

"This version of twister is for hooves. I have hands and feet." defended the sniper.

Pinkie Pie shook her head down in defeat.

She materialized right next to the slumped back sniper. "So Mr. Soul sucking black heart, what do you usually do in parties. All the stuff I suggest clearly aren't your thing."

"I don't get invited to fucking parties." muttered Overwatch.

Pinkie's mane dropped and she gave a loud gasp. "Oh my gosh, you've never been to parties before?"

"I have. Only if I have to disperse them or assassinate some HVT asshole in one of them." answered Overwatch.

"But what do humans do in parties? Surely you have to know even if you don't like them! I mean parties have to be pretty popular because no matter how many times somepony ditches them, they still know what's going on!"

"Drinking, dancing to shitty music and smoking weed." glumly responded the tall sniper.

"Well, we don't have any alcohol or weeds since we get rid of them in gardening, but I sure love dancing!" joyfully yelled Pinkie Pie. She proceeded to grab a record player and her favorite CD.

She used her teeth to insert the record into the player and used her muzzle to guide the needle onto the disc. In a flash, party music, composed by Vinyl Scratch her self, began playing.

Pinkie Pie started dancing wildly. "Come on Overwatch!.......................................Overwatch?"

If Overwatch had his mask removed, Pinkie Pie would have noticed his mouth hanging widely from astonishment.

Pinkie Pie shut off the music by pushing the needle away with her fore hoof.

The mare galloped to the stupefied sniper and waved her fore hoof in front of his shades.

"Epona to Overwatch? Do you read me?". The masked marksman got up and slowly walked over to the phonograph. His shades glowed blue as he scanned it's contents.

Pinkie was distracted by the blue light rays being emitted from Overwatch's HUD.

"Pinkie Pie, this is a phonograph. A perfect mid 20th century phonograph that's emitting early 21st century dance music." pointed Overwatch.

"Well duh. How else am I going to play music if I'm not the one singing you silly willy?" giggled Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie, my HUD is reading that the oldest of these objects couldn't have been manufactured more than 25 years ago." noted the marksman.

"I don't like bragging, but all my stuff is the latest in party technology!" exclaimed the pink pony.

"Doesn't it bother you that your possessions are an alignment of human inventions scattered through time? I'm reading that some of your so called 'latest part technology was made by humans throughout 19th, 20th and 21st century despite the fact your town is something from the 16th?" questioned Overwatch.

"Not to mention a lot of your objects of entertainment don't even make sense for pony culture to use considering they're meant to be operated by appendages like fingers?"

Pinkie Pie blinked and gave a light smile. "Okey, Dokey Loki. Let's pretend I'm good in history-"

Overwatch face palmed on his mask. "Fuck it, I'm better off reasoning with a wall." he affronted.

"Come on, Over, Dover, Roverwatch! This isn't the time for fancy wancy sciencey things! Just relax and let's get back to dancing!" Pinkie Pie trotted over to the record player and turned on the music again.

Pinkie Pie continued to dance while Overwatch sat on a chair. A chair he noted was clearly meant for human legs. Much to his discomfort, the chair collapsed under his weight despite the materials and dimensions of the furniture telling him otherwise.

Pinkie Pie closed her eyes began to imitate Twilight's famous pony dance. Suddenly, the next song played.

Pinkie immediately rushed over to the sniper. "Come on you fumin' human! This is a song that's meant for groups."

Overwatch gave an exhale of annoyance. "I don't do techno or party music."

The pink mare didn't take any offense. "Okey, Dokey, Loki!" The party pony skipped over to the record player and took off the CD and then turned back to Overwatch.

"So what music do you listen to?"

"Hard Rock and Metal. Especially songs from the 24th and mid 20th century." indifferently replied the sniper.

Pinkie Pie was dumbfounded. "Rock and metal? I never heard about that before. Besides, how can you listen to a rock or piece of metal? Both are just objects." Pinkie gave a loud gasp. "You don't mean to tell me that the rocks and metals outside of Equestria can talk and make music. Oh my gosh that is so cool. I wonder what they'd sing about. Do they sing about hitting people in the head or what life is like underground? I sure wonder what life would be like underground myself. It would probably be dark and scary. I sure hope I can meet a rock or metal from your planets!"

There was a small pause.

Pinkie rambled again. "Oh silly me, rocks and metals don't talk. But bashing rocks together does make music! I heard that's how the first drum kits were made. (Overwatch cringed at hearing drum kits.). I also heard that tapping on different types of metals make different sounds. If I had a set of different metal sheets, I'd make my own xylophone!" once again, Overwatch stammered upon hearing xylophone.

The sniper gave an annoyed sigh. "Pinkie. Rock and metal is a genre and has nothing to do with solid substances. Also, I question how your species could have invented techno, but not rock or metal."

Pinkie giggled. "See, ponies aren't exactly like humans! There differences when you think about it."

Overwatch shook his head. "I have yet to see something that ponies have but humans don't. Ponykind is basically a copy of human. Just selectively."

Pinkie Pie skipped over to the sniper. "I know what would make you feel happy!"

Overwatch just stared.

"A drawing contest! Let's get out your coloring book." Pinkie Pie materialized behind Overwatch and grabbed his coloring book.

Right before the equine could gaze at its contents, Overwatch's hyper fast reflexes kicked in. In a black blur, he yanked the mare up and stripped her of his art book in less than than a second.

Overwatch's enhanced annoyance caused Pinkie's mind to suffer again.

"Was it something I did?" questioned Pinkie Pie as Overwatch let her down.

"I don't care how adorable or cuddly you are. Nobody and especially, nopony looks in my art book without my approval." growled the marksman.

"What do you have that's so secret? Is it directions to a treasure chest? A secret military base? A candy stash? Because you see, I really love candy but ponies keep stealing from me so what I did was put it in a treasure chest and hide it in a royal guard base I only know about because-"

As Pinkie Pie rambled, Overwatch looked over the content of his art book. While most people now drew on tablets, holograms or computers, the glacial artist stuck to traditional pen and paper.

The books had nearly gotten full. It was chalked full of nature drawings of the the dozens of colonies he visited along with various military sketches.

But there was one thing that stood....out. He wasn't popular in high school but if there was anything he was famous for, it was his aptitude in art. In his senior year, a few dozen or so girls, taking advantage of his asexuality and creativity, asked him to sketch a few....nude drawings of them. Most of the provocative drawings had been discarded however, but some girls insisted he keep them. Not wanting to be rude, he did.

"-and that's how Equestria was made!" cheered Pinkie. Suddenly the mare snapped back to life. "So Overwatch, what do you say about the drawing game?"

"How do you intend to draw? You don't have any fucking fingers." he menacingly questioned.

Pinkie ignored the swear. "Oh it's, not a competition pal. I just tell you what to draw and you draw it! What do you say?"

The sniper shrugged. Pinkie Pie took it as a yes.

For the next few minutes, Pinkie pointed at a number of things for Overwatch to apathetically draw. Since everything was animated on Epona, drawing was just tracing.

Finally, Pinkie stopped. "Oh boy, that was pretty fun don't you think?"

"Meh."

Pinkie looked up at the sniper. "Overwatch, if there's something bothering you, Dr. Pinkie can help. Are you upset about anything? Is there something bothering you?"

Overwatch shook his head.

"Then why are you such a glum plum?" questioned the equine with genuine concern for the masked soldier's well being.

Overwatch just shrugged.

"Didn't your parents teach you the medicine of laughing?" asked Pinkie.

"My parents and older sister tried to make me happy once. It didn't work." growled the marksman.

Pinkie Pie laughed. "Oh that is hilarious. My family was a group of soulless rock farmers who tried to keep me miserable and I became the element of laughter!"

Overwatch said nothing as usual. He couldn't give two shits.

"Don't worry though. We can turn your little attitude around. Jokes are the best way to make somepony, and I'm sure, somebody laugh. Are you ready for a night comedy, fun times and laughter?" yelled Pinkie with utter eagerness.

"No."

"Alrighty then. Let's start laughing."

Pinkie Pie continuously tried to get Overwatch laughing. However, the jokes either didn't make sense to a human or were a ponified version of a joke that Overwatch already knew. The sniper went out to point out how the newly created pony jokes were human ones which were created a centuries apart.

Pinkie eventually gave up. "Well then. Why don't you tell me some of the jokes you humans know?"

Overwatch raised an eyebrow under his mask. "Are you sure?"

Pinkie Pie skipped in the air and nodded with utter joy. "Who isn't sure about jokes?"

40 racist, homophobic and sexist jokes later.

Pinkie Pie's mouth had hung open after the first joke. She quickly shook her head and tried to get the dirty thoughts out of her innocent mind.

"You call those jokes?" questioned the party pony.

Overwatch nodded.

"Jokes should involve you laughing with somepony, not at sompeony. I might not know what an 'asian' or 'red neck' is, but I sure can tell you they would like those jokes!" beamed Pinkie.

The sniper merely shrugged.

Pinkie went back to being her cheery self. "Alright then, we've tried games, dancing, drawing and jokes. But you're still a cynical wreck! You're case is worse than Cranky Doodle Donkey." Pinkie began formulating a plan.

"Looks like it's time for us to pull out the big guns!" she yelled.

"You're going to cut my cheeks to keep me smiling like the Joker the 5th or my friend Jeff?"

Pinkie Pie shook her head with anticipation. "No silly. This is the one song nopony can resist-"

"I'm not a pony." muttered Overwatch.

"-THE SMILE SONG!"

Pinkie Pie finished singing and skipped over to the sniper. "So Overwatch, what do you think? Are you feeling happy?" asked Pinkie.

There was no response from the hooded Marksman.

"Overwatch? Epona to Overwatch." Pinkie Pie waved a hoof in front of Overwatch. Suddenly, he slumped back against her bed.

"ZZZZ." lightly snored the sniper. Overwatch had been asleep the entire song.

Pinkie scowled. "I will make you smile Overwatch. I Pinkie Promise that!". The mare's attitude brightened up. "But for now, time to hit the hay......and OH MY GOSH! I finally got the joke!"

Pinkie Pie skipped on her bed, curled into a pink fluffy ball and slept next to the sniper.