“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

Jack Kerouac

Applejack jogged down one the dirt roads around ponyville’s outskirts, with a pair of large wicker baskets slung over her back. She saw Fluttershy up ahead and ran to meet her. “Howdy there, Fluttershy!”

She looked back at her. “Good afternoon, Applejack. How are you today?”

“Jes fine,” Applejack said. “I just finished throwin’ some treats together for the picnic. How’re you doin’? Ya seem a mite gloomy. Sumthin’ wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Aw, come on Flutter. You know you can always talk to me!”

Fluttershy’s head drooped. “I just had the worst day ever! I was walking with Princess Sparkle, and—”

“Whoa there. I thought she didn’t want us callin’ her that? She said bein’ a Princess was more than jes’ wings and a horn.”

“I don’t know if she really is a princess, but she’s starting to seem like one. We were walking together, and she was just so pretty that everyone was staring at her: stallions were falling all over themselves trying to talk to her. They were literally falling off of things, like porches and riverbanks. I felt six inches tall!”

“Aw, shucks. Yer still a real looker, ya know? Even Rarity says you got a natural style that jes’ can’t be matched, and she wouldn’t say that just to make you feel better: she knows style!”

Fluttershy’s bottom lip trembled. “Maybe... I dunno.”

Applejack gave her a gentle pat on the back. “Sure Twi is extra pretty right now, but you can’t just compare yourself to her. You gotta look at what makes you special! That’s the part of you that ponies will notice right away.”

Fluttershy smiled at her and lifted her head. “Thanks, Applejack. It’s sweet of you to say.”

“Sweet? It’s the truth!” Applejack looked further down the road. “Where ya headed to, anyways?”

“Rarity took Twilight to a park to practice something. I just wanted to talk to her... but I’ll feel a lot better about it now, thanks to you.”

“Mind if I tag along? Ah been meanin’ to have a word with her myself.”

“Certainly.”

Applejack followed Fluttershy down the road and into an open park. Twilight Sparkle was speaking with a thin, bespectacled colt wearing a plaid vest, and both of them were sitting on the grass with a cup of tea: whatever they were talking about, they seemed very excited about it.

Rarity walked over and met them by the edge of the park. “If you’re here to speak with Twilight, it won’t be long. She’s almost finished.”

Applejack set her baskets down. “Finished with what?” she said.

“Charm lessons. This is her second practical exam.”

“Hold on a second... is that Pencil Neck?”

“Indeed.”

“But the poor colt can’t talk to a mare without keeling over faint. He can barely even stand in the same room as one.”

“Impressive work, no?” Rarity nodded back to Twilight Sparkle. “She’s practicing suppressing her personal charisma. You should have seen her first practical exam: she spoke to High & Mighty for almost half an hour without even flinching.”

Applejack and Fluttershy stared at each other.

“Half an hour?” said Applejack. “I can’t even look her in the face without wantin’ to pop her one right on on the chin!”

A bell rang, and Rarity took out a small pocket watch. “Fifteen minutes, and Pencil Neck hasn’t fainted once. That’s a pass with flying colors.”

The three of them walked over to Twilight Sparkle. She turned to them with a smile. “Hello, friends!”

Pencil Neck turned to look as well, but fainted the instant he saw Applejack and Fluttershy.

“Sorry,” said Twilight. “He becomes somewhat nervous in the presence of mares.”

Applejack looked down at the unconscious colt. “Then why didn’t he keel over at the sight of you?”

“We simply got to talking about his hobby. He’s very passionate about model boats, and as long as we focused on this topic he was perfectly composed.”

“So you pretended to be excited about model boats then? Clever!”

“Pretended?” Twilight said, “it was most interesting! He even has a model of the Roanoke: one of the largest sailing ships ever constructed. He even did all the rigging by hoof!”

Applejack nodded and smiled at her. “Well, ain’t that nice.”

Twilight stared back at her, her smile gone.

“You okay there, sugarcube? Ya look like somepony walked over yer grave.”

Twilight looked away. “Tis nothing.”

“Heya, girls!” Rainbow Dash called from above. “Are we still on for that picnic?”

“You betcha!” Applejack set her baskets down and went over to Pencil Neck. “I’d better carry this one back home. You girls go ahead and set things up.”

“We may as well wait for thee,” said Twilight. “We have a letter to compose, after all.”

“Don’t worry,” said Rarity. “I’m sure the princess will understand everything!”

Twilight Sparkle took out her writing supplies and began composing a letter. “We can only hope so.”

Rainbow Dash landed beside her and peered at the scroll. “Whoa, cool! Where did you get the silver ink from?”

“We... didn’t.” Twilight paused to look at the black liquid in her inkwell. “In any case. Spike?”

Spike hopped up and ran over. “Yess’m!”

“We have a letter for the Princess, of the utmost importance and urgency. Please deliver it for us.”

“It’d be my pleasure!” Spike took the scroll, took a deep breath, and incinerated the paper in a puff of green, pine-scented flame.

“Whaddya think she’ll say?” said Dash.

“We shall know soon enough.”

There was a flash of light, and a scroll appeared over Twilight’s head. She caught it just before it hit the ground. “That was unusually prompt of her.”

Spike frowned at the scroll. “Why’d it appear in the air like that? Doesn’t it usually, uh... y’know?” He pointed at his own mouth.

Twilight broke the seal and opened the scroll. “Dear Princess Celestia: I fear I have much to...” Her voice trailed off.

“Something wrong?” said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight held up the scroll. “This is our letter. The one we just wrote.”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head. “She sent it right back without even reading it? Why would she do that?”

“We do not know.” Twilight passed the scroll to Spike. “Try again, if you please.”

Spike incinerated the scroll. A moment later, it appeared over Twilight's’ head, bounced off her nose, and dropped to the ground.

“How is this possible?” Twilight said, “thy fiery breath was enchanted to send things to the Princess without fail!”

Spike wrung his claws together. “I think they are being sent to the Princess. Just... a different Princess.”

“Oh,” said Twilight. “Oh dear.”

Rainbow Dash stood up and flexed her wings. “We’ll just have to send it the old fashioned way: overnight courier pegasus! Come with me: I know a guy who knows a guy.”

“Thank you.” Twilight Sparkle spread her wings and took a few light steps before drifting into the air. She wobbled for a moment and kicked her feet in mild panic. “Goodness! How do we keep forgetting about these?”

“It’s cool. You’re actually doing really well for a beginner.” Rainbow Dash grinned at her. “I could give you a crash course on the way to the post office. Whaddya say?”

“Truly? That would be ever so exciting!”

“Don’t worry, Twi. I’ll go extra easy on you.” Dash glanced back at the others. “The rest of you go ahead and dig in. We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The others watched as Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash flew back to Ponyville.

Fluttershy lifted up one of the wicker baskets and hugged it close. “One of these days, she’ll stay and have an actual picnic with us.”

Twilight Sparkle glided low and landed on the road in a perfect stance. “There... there, we did it! Did you see, Rainbow Dash? We were flying! We really did it!”

Twilight glanced around.

“Dash? Where art thou?”

Rainbow Dash flew around a street corner and slowly caught up with her. She skidded to a halt and flopped on the ground, sweaty and gasping for breath. “That’s... just... great.”

Twilight hopped in place, still fresh as a daisy. “How did we do? Did we do well?”

Rainbow Dash rolled onto her back and continued to gasp. Twilight waited for her to stagger upright.

“How did you...? No. You know what? I don’t even want to know.” Rainbow Dash grabbed the scroll and went to the front door of the post office. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Twilight nodded and stood in place.

She seems unhappy. Was it something we did?

Her ear pricked up as she heard the sound of children talking. She turned to look, and saw the cutie Mark Crusaders walk around the corner. They sounded unhappy.

Rainbow Dash told us to stay put. Twilight walked in place, nervously. We will only talk to them for a minute. She shan't even notice we’re gone.

Twilight walked over to the three young fillies. Scootaloo noticed her shadow and turned to look back at her. She clenched her teeth and pushed Applebloom and Sweetie Belle further ahead.

“Come on girls, we better get moving.”

“Why? It’s not like there’s—” Applebloom glanced back and jumped as she saw Twilight. “—Right right, we gotta get to the thing.”

“At the place!” said Sweetie Belle. “We can’t be late for that!”

The three fillies rushed ahead. Twilight caught up with them with two long strides. “Girls, please! We only wish to apologize for our previous behavior.”

“Oh, sure,” said Scootaloo. “Apology totally accepted.”

“Yeah, totally,” said Applebloom, “Y’all can go on home now.”

Twilight ran around in front of them. “Please, girls?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders huddled together, but relaxed as they saw the pitiful expression on Twilight’s face.

“Is there nothing we can do to make amends?”

“Well,” said Scootaloo, “the mark did go away on it’s own. So I guess we’re even.”

Twilight nodded. “We only wish we had something more to offer you.”

“We?” said Applebloom, “who else ya got there?”

“She means herself,” said Sweetie Belle. “She’s using the royal we. It’s her idiot.”

“Idiom,” said Twilight.

Sweety Belle nodded. “Same thing.”

“Why would she—” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “She’s got wingies! Why does Twilight Sparkle have wingies!?”

Twilight looked away, bashful. “There was a terrible accident with a spell. As a result, we have become like unto a Princess for the time being.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders circled around her, staring in awe.

“So you’re a Princess now?” said Scootaloo. “Does that mean your magic works even better now?”

“We are like unto a Princess, but yes. Our magic is vastly more potent in this aspect. We are still not infallible, of course.”

“But you’re less fallible, right?”

“Indeed,” said Twilight. “Why do you ask?”

“Sooo... you’d do anything to apologize?”

“Oh yes. Anything at all.”

Scootaloo grinned at her friends. “You heard the princess, right girls? Anything at all.”

Rainbow Dash stomped out of the post office, infuriated. I don’t believe this! The one day we need to send the Princess a letter the hard way, and Ditzy Doo decides to brush off work to go play badminton. That scatterbrain seriously needs to get her priorities straight!

“Bad news Twi,” she said, “we can’t get an express delivery so it’s going to take a few days to—”

Rainbow Dash glanced around but Twilight was nowhere to be seen.

Oh, no... not now! This is the last straw!! Dash took to the air and searched the street for a giant, intelligent, lightning-fast, stunningly beautiful winged unicorn. This is bad... real bad. She beat the pants off me on the way here, and I wasn’t even wearing any pants! If she decides to run away from me, I might not be able to catch up with her! She could be anywhere in the entire—

Dash flinched as a barrage of bright red laser-bolts streaked through the sky.

Or she could be right over there.

She landed next to the town well, where a hang-glider made of lasers was hovering back and forth: the small, single-seater aircraft was a hollow wire frame made entirely of bright red beams of light. Its flat surfaces were visible only as a slight shimmer in the air, and you could see all the way through it. Scootaloo was lying face down in the middle of the craft, wearing a large flight helmet and a set of aviator goggles.

“Scootaloo!?”

Scootaloo pulled on a pair of levers and maneuvered the glider closer. “Check it out, Dash! It’s a vertol!”

“A what?” said Rainbow Dash. “What does that even mean?”

“No idea! I asked Twilight to gimme another cutie mark, and she let me pick. And this time it worked! I got a cutie mark for laser piloting! I’m like a space captain or something now!”

“Twilight did this? Why am I not surprised! Where’s Applebloom and Sweetie Belle?”

“Dunno. Hey, wanna race? Twi said this thing can go ‘point five see’ in a vacuum. I dunno why anypony would want to fly around inside of a vacuum cleaner, though.”

Dash flinched as the laser glider fired a stream of energy bolts at a nearby building: they reflected off a windowpane and struck the trunk of a nearby tree, leaving behind little scorch marks.

“Sorry! My bad!”

Dash searched the street and saw Twilight talking with Sweetie Belle. She flew over and pointed a hoof at the purple Princess. “What do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy!?”

Twilight glanced about. “Is this... a rhetorical question?”

“I’m gonna be a supermodel!” said Sweetie Belle. “I’m gonna have super strength, super speed, and super ice powers so I can freeze bad guys and make juice popsicles!”

“No,” said Dash. “No you’re not! You’re going to go home right now.”

“That’s not fair! Applebloom got her cutie mark! See?”

Dash looked up and saw a young filly wearing the bulky, red coat of a firefighter, complete with the iconic sweeping helmet and giant boots. Her left saddlebag was a giant pouch of water, and her right side supported a roll of heavy hose and a turreted nozzle. One end of the hose trailed off behind her and snaked into the village well.

“You’re a firefighter!?”

“Nope!” Applebloom reared up on one of her hind legs and twirled around: Her outfit included a bulky, fireproof tutu, and her heavy boots were laced halfway up her legs with shiny red ribbon. She continued her flawless pirouette, and the nozzle sprayed a truly prodigious deluge of water in all directions at once.

“I’m a firefighter ballerina!”

Rainbow Dash stared at her, slack jawed and soaking wet.

“She could not choose just one,” Twilight said, “so we told her she could have both.”

Dash pointed at Twilight. “I leave you alone for five minutes, and look what happens!”

“Why art thou angry?” she said. “We only wish to help.”

Dash tromped over to her. “This isn’t help: This is just a short cut! It’s like cheating!”

“Hey, no cutting in line!” said Sweetie Belle. “You go find your own princess.”

Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof at Sweetie Belle. “This isn’t right. You’re supposed to wait for your mark. And you’re definitely not supposed to pick it yourself!”

“But whyyyyy?” Sweetie Belle stamped her tiny hoof. “Why should I?”

“Because,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Why because?”

“Because because! That’s the way it is!”

“Why?” said Twilight Sparkle. “Why should they wait, if they do not have to? Why should they not be allowed to choose?”

Rainbow Dash glared at her. “Don’t you start with me.”

Princess Sparkle gazed down at Rainbow Dash, imperiously. “You intend to prevent fillies from choosing a future for themselves, and you would force them to wait for completely arbitrary circumstances to reveal it to them... simply because?”

“Uh, well...” Rainbow Dash backed up half a step, unable to look away from Twilight’s eyes. “Okay, I’ll admit. It sounds bad when you say it like that. But—”

Twilight’s horn glowed, and a magical flash of light suffused Sweetie Belle. When the light faded, she was wearing a magnificent designer dress that included a pink cape and a pair of pointy sunglasses that somehow obscured her true identity completely.

“Alright!” Sweetie Belle took a running leap, and a slick of ice appeared under her hooves. She zoomed off like a figure skater, leaving behind a looping roller coaster of ice as she sped across the street.

“ ’Tis ‘all right,’ ” Twilight called out, “two words instead of one.”

“Sorry, Twi!” Sweetie Belle shouted back. “And thanks for the cutie mark!”

Twilight Sparkle sighed, cheerfully. “Ahh, children...”

Rainbow Dash’s left eyelid twitched. “You change them back, right now!”

“Why should fillies have to wait? And why should they not be permitted to choose?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes darted back and forth. “Because... well...”

“If you can give me a convincing reason—other than ‘just because’—I will concede.” Twilight turned away and unfurled her wings. “In the meanwhile, we have a long-overdue picnic to attend. Race you there?”

Rainbow Dash watched as Twilight Sparkle flew away with impossible speed, leaving behind a purple contrail with a rose-colored stripe. She’d moved like a beam of light.

This isn’t gonna end well. Rainbow Dash staggered to her hooves and galloped as fast as she could, trying to ignore the crippling exhaustion in her wings.

Applejack finished setting out the picnic snacks just as Twilight Sparkle glided to the ground nearby. she looked up at her friend with a smile. “Heya there! Did the letter get sent?”

“Indeed,” said Twilight. “Rainbow Dash made all the necessary arrangements.”

“That’s jes’ great. Where is she now?”

“I know not,” said Twilight. “We informed her we would return to this place. Perhaps she has other business to attend to first.”

“S’pose so. Well, we’ll jes’ have to wait a little longer, ain’t we?”

“Ain’t... isn’t a...” Twilight bit her lip. “Never mind.”

“Ain’t what?”

“Nothing, truly.”

“If’n ya say so, Twi.” Applejack took up a knife and began cutting a pie into slices. “Y’all want a snack before we dig into the main course? Ah’m sure it won’t be no problem for Dash if we start a little early.”

“ ’Tis a double negative,” Twilight said.

Applejack looked up at her. “Whuzzat?”

A bead of sweat formed on Twilight’s forehead. “Nothing. At all.”

“Alright, then.”

“All... right,” Twilight whispered.

“Thas’ what ah said... alright.”

Pinkie Pie peered up at Twilight’s face and watched as her eyes darted from side to side. “I know just the thing to cheer you up, Twi!”

Twilight sighed. “Thank you, but we doth not require cheering up.”

Pinkie Pie stood up and set a hoof on her back. “You’ve been through an awful lot today,” she said, “and it’s okay to be sad and scared... but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy!”

Twilight stared back at her for a moment. She turned to the rest of her friends, all of whom were wearing worried smiles. Eventually, Twilight smiled back at them.

“There ya go!” said Pinkie Pie. “I know just what you need: let’s all sing a song together!”

“Sing!?” Twilight’s eyes snapped open. “Oh, no-no-no... this is most unwise. We art a horrendous singer!”

Pinkie Pie looked up at her, pleading.

“We appreciate your desire to enrich our life with art and culture, but I am verily the worst singer in the history of all Equestria. Mirrors and windows would shatter. Chalkboards would wince and cover their ears, had they any to cover.”

Applejack tilted her head. “What are you talking about? You sang during your very first Winter Wrap up, remember? You couldn’t figure out how you wanted help out.”

“That was a particularly catchy tune,” said Rarity. “I’ve caught myself singing it in the shower now and then.”

“What art thou talking about? We never sang. We were talking.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you sang. There was music and everything.”

Twilight wobbled her head side to side. “We were simply talking. To music.”

“You know what that’s called around these parts?” said Pinkie Pie. “We call that singing.”

Rarity lifted a hoof. “What about when you heard that your brother was to be married to Princess Cadence? You sang about how much he meant to you.”

“That!?” Twilight rubbed her knee against her leg. “That wasn’t singing. T’was merely... humming. We were merely humming to ourselves as we spoke. Nothing more. You remember things very differently than we do.”

Pinkie Pie and Rarity looked at each other, then back to Twilight Sparkle.

“Very well,” Twilight said. “We will sing along, if it will put an end to the topic. But we assure you: this will end in tears.”

“Hooray! And just remember, it’s all in good fun.” Pinkie Pie hopped over and sat on the grass beside her. “Everypony knows Old Macdonald Had a Farm, right?”

Everypony nodded. Pinkie Pie took a deep breath and sang the opening line, and all of her friends joined in together. After only a few seconds, Twilight Sparkle’s voice dominated the chorus entirely: her voice was clear as a silver bell and her tone and timber were powerful and resonant. Her friends stopped singing and simply stared up at her as she continued on, oblivious. She was reciting Old MacDonald with the force and power of a professional opera singer.

The song came to a close. Twilight glanced at her friends, only then noticing the stares. “T’wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“How did you do that!?” said Pinkie Pie.

Twilight’s shoulders slumped. “We were awful, weren’t we? We just knew it...”

“No no, it wasn’t bad at all!” said pinkie Pie. “Could you sing a scale for us? Just quick?”

Twilight shrugged, and sang a full octave of musical notes. The pitch, tone, and rhythm were perfect. Not good, not even excellent, but perfect. As she sang, a small flock of colorful birds alighted on her back and neck and a small crowd of woodland creatures gathered to bask in her presence. One of the songbirds, a yellow-and-blue tropical parrot, looked at Fluttershy and gave her an apologetic shrug.

Fluttershy’s lower lip trembled. “No, it’s... I understand. You go on.”

“You okay there?” said Applejack.

“Fine! I’m just fine,” said Fluttershy. She stood up and jogged towards a nearby tree. “I just need to sit for a while. Over there.”

“Fluttershy?” said Applejack, “are you sure you’re—”

Fluttershy sped up, whimpering to herself. “You’re still special, Fluttershy... you’re still special!”

Pinkie Pie pointed at Twilight. “You can sing? Since when could you sing?”

“What? No!” Twilight said. “Goodness no. We art a truly horrendous singer. We studied the theory of music in school, but cannot carry a tone to save our life.”

“But you... you were...” Pinkie Pie sat down, confused. “That’s my thing.”

Twilight nodded to her, about to speak, but flinched when she noticed the wildlife that had gathered on and around her. “Eee! Where didst they come from? Off, off with you! Shoo!”

“Easy there, girl!” Applejack said, “They’re harmless. Jes’ stand up and they’ll go their merry way.”

Twilight stood up and gave a gentle shake, and the animals fluttered or scampered away.

“There ya go. See?”

Twilight gasped in shock as she noticed a tiny horde of squirrels overrunning the sumptuous collection of pies and pastries. “The comestibles!”

“The what-now?”

“She means the food!” Rarity said. “Quickly, somepony fetch Fluttershy!”

“There is no time!” Twilight shouted, and charged at the offending fauna. “These vile pests have pilfered the last of our fair cuisine! Begone with you!”

“Easy there, Twilight.They’re just squirrels.”

Twilight trampled through the feast of baked goods, shaking her wings at the animals. They fluttered or scampered away, but returned to the food after a momentary delay. Twilight chased after them a few more times and, in the process, stepped in a platter of apple crumble.

“Would you settle down already?” said Applejack, “Yer doin’ more damage then the critters are!”

“ ‘All ready’ is two words, and you say ‘then’ when you mean ‘than!’ Ooh, we doth not have time for this!” Twilight's horn flared with magic. “Prepare to face the full fury of Princess Sparkle, you ruffian rodentia!”

A rippling distortion appeared in the air above the picnic field: a spherical lense that crackled with purple electricity. The ripple opened wide and became a gaping hole in reality itself, filled with starry points of light. The vortex began sucking in air with the force of a gale and the small animals were pulled up and sent hurtling into the dark void of the portal. Twilight’s mane and tail whipped about violently in the wind and her friends had to struggle to keep their footing, yet the pies and pastries were unaffected.

The hole closed in on itself and vanished in an explosion of sound and force. Twilight shook her mane out and turned to her friends. “Terribly sorry for the inconvenience. The picnic may now resume.”

“Are you absolutely nutty in the coconut!?” said Applejack. “What in the world would ya go and do somethin’ like that for!?”

“They were going to spoil our picnic! What else was I to do?”

“We coulda just called Fluttershy over! They woulda left without a fuss if she’d just asked them to!”

“There simply wasn’t enough time.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Ponyville and our friends were in terrible danger. T’was all we could think of.”

“What danger!?”

“Oh, very well. But you must admit that our picnic was in danger.”

“So you flung a bunch of helpless critters into outer space!?”

“We would do no such thing, of course. We sent them someplace where they’ll be safe and comfortable. We art no monster.”

Applejack glowered at her. “Where are they?”

Twilight shrugged. “The portal’s destination was merely ‘someplace safe and comfortable.’ There are numerous physical locations that fulfil those criteria, and there is no way to know exactly where they are for sure.”

“You don’t even know where you sent them!?”

Twilight gazed upward and to the left. “Verily, we we may never know for certain...”

        Prince Blueblood took one last deep breath before stepping into the royal hall of the city of Trottingham, located in the very heart of the county of the same name. The hall was filled with nobles of all ranks and roles, and Blueblood stepped into the crowd and gazed at the magnificent gowns and suits on display. There was a degree of variety here that would have been unthinkable back in Canterlot: the modern mingled freely with the archaic.

The ponies of Trottingham were a stubborn breed and slow to accept change. As a result, this was one of the last cities to take part in the great railway craze, and very little of it’s inner-city architecture had been demolished to make way for office buildings and shopping malls. The ponies here were often mocked for clinging to their medieval way of life, but the residents wore their scorn as a badge of honor. Blueblood thought back to all the times he’d dismissed the place as ‘unsophisticated’ and ‘low cultured.’ But now, immersed in the habits and customs of old, he felt a strange sense of longing.

Is this really how things were, back in the age of chivalry? He looked down at his own formal, designer-label suit. I don’t feel much like a prince right now... not a real one.

He searched through the crowd for a particular face. He paused to make small talk with the nobles and knights who approached him, but before long he politely excused himself and continued on. After half an hour of ambling about, he stopped by a row of windows and gazed out across the castle’s walled garden.

It was there that he finally saw her: a demure young pegasus seated by the central fountain and draped in a shimmering pink dress. She sat alone and gazed forlornly at the evening sky. She was about his age, and yet there was a child-like quality to her face.

“Well, look who it is! I never thought I’d see your face around this damp little shire!”

Blueblood turned to look at the new voice, and snapped out of his trance. A handsome white stallion walked up beside him and gazed out the window. He was a unicorn, same as him—about the same age, and almost as finely dressed—but his coat was ‘Isabelline’ white, whereas Blueblood’s was halfway between ‘Eggshell’ and ‘Ghost’ white.

I can’t believe I ever obsessed over such a trivial thing, he thought to himself. “Pleased to meet you, Charming. It’s been quite a while.”

“It’s count charming,” he said. “Now that my mother has been given command over the northern dutchy, she’s left the county of Trottingham under my careful guidance.”

“That’s... very...” Blueblood took a moment to compose himself. “Well congratulations, Count Charming. I’m sure you’ll take excellent care of the region.”

“I have magistrates to take care of all that boring tedium,” he said. “Though I certainly intend to take excellent care of the treasury!” Charming gave him a light shove on the shoulder. “Say, why don’t you stay for awhile? I was thinking of getting the old gang back together again. Parties, jousting, mares... it’ll be just like old times!”

“Actually, I’m only here on business, and I simply can’t stay long. Princely duties, and all that.”

“Duties? You?” Charming peered out the window and arched an eyebrow. “Oh, really now? Lady Vanilla Dream is a little beneath you, don’t you think?”

“It’s nothing like that,” Blueblood said. “The Princess sent me here to take a full account of all the newly inducted members of the gentry. No matter where I look, I can’t find anything about her past.”

“Oh, it’s nothing important,” Charming said. “She was the daughter of a major plantation owner way out west. She inherited a truly silly amount of land when her family died, so they made her a baroness on the spot.”

Blueblood stared at him, shocked. “Her entire family died!?”

“I guess so. She doesn't know a single thing about the nobility. I’m pretty sure that dress is either a rental, or bought on a loan.” He grinned at him. “You should have seen her when she first showed up in court: she didn’t have any heraldry, and she could barely remember her own title. She was fumbling over her words for hours, while everyone fell over themselves to take pity on her... hilarious!”

Blueblood turned back to the window. “Do you know why she’s here?”

“Like I said, she’s got a lot of land but no money. She’s probably trying to marry some rich old fogey.” Charming grinned and adjusted his collar.  “Now that I have the key to the treasury, I figure have a pretty good chance with her.”

Blueblood frowned at him. “You can’t just bully her into marrying you. The Princess will never stand for it.”

“Bullying? Oh, no-no-no... I prefer the term ‘arranged marriage’.”

Blueblood scoffed. “In this day and age?”

“This is Trottingham, dear friend: it’s as chivalric as slaying dragons and going to war. Happens all the time. We’re old fashioned that way. Besides, the Princess is far too busy to worry about every little thing that happens.”

Blueblood shook his head. “Charming. Be honest with me. Do you actually want to spend the entire rest of you life with her?”

“Nah. I’d settle for spending the whole entire rest of my week with her.” He grinned at him. “Have you see the socks she’s wearing under that gown? Spicy.”

Blueblood squinted at him. “And what if someone brought your true intentions to the attention of Princess Celestia?”

Charming stared at him for a moment.

“You wouldn’t,” he said.

“I might.”

Charming smirked at him. “You should be careful what you say, dear friend. In Trottingham, there’s only one way to deal with people who spread unscrupulous rumors... a duel. I’d hate to have to humiliate you on the jousting field, in front of all your friends and family. Especially since your reputation is already in such a fragile state!”

Blueblood flinched slightly. “You... wouldn’t.”

“I might,” Charming said with a smirk. “But as long as you keep your nose out of my private life, you won’t have to find out. Besides, it’ll be a good business arrangement for her. She’s got huge tracts of land... and I can’t wait to start ploughing.”

Blueblood’s eyes burned a volcanic blue and he pointed a hoof at his face. “How dare you even think such vile thoughts! You don’t deserve to be a count!”

Charming rolled his eyes. “Temper temper, Prince. You shouldn’t start something unless you know you can finish it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lady to court... may the best stallion win, eh dear friend?”

Blueblood scowled at the stallion as he walked away.

I can’t let him goad me. If I do anything rash, anything at all, he’ll claim it as a challenge... and he’s one of the best jousters in all of Equestria. I wouldn’t stand a chance. He watched as Charming entered the courtyard and greeted lady Vanilla Dream with a courteous bow. She looked up with a shy smile. I can’t let him get away with this... what would a real prince do?

Blueblood took a deep breath, slicked back his wavy blond hair, and walked out into the garden with them. Charming was too busy with a romantic speech to notice him, but the Lady glanced up.

“Hello?” she said in a soft, delicate voice.

“Good afternoon, mi’lady,” Blueblood said. “Could you perchance spare a few short minutes to speak with me regarding matters of business?”

Her eyes darted towards Count Charming. “Well... if it’s important...”

Charming arched an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t intend to exhaust the lady with courtly talk. I’m sure she’s had quite enough of that for one day.”

“I was referring to her family business, actually. I heard she might be in need of financial assistance.”

“Oh. Yes. Well.” She looked away, sheepishly. “At the moment, Count Charming is helping me manage my estate. He’s been most generous.”

“Yes,” Charming said. “Most generous. There’s no need to worry.”

“Ah I see,” said Blueblood, “I just wanted to make certain all was well. The princess has been issuing substantial subsidies to promote private agriculture, so I thought perhaps... oh, but never mind. I’ll leave you be.”

“Subsidies?” the Lady stood up from the bench, eyes wide. “What sort of subsidies?”

“Yes,” Count Charming said. “Do tell us what sort of subsidies. I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“Well,” said Blueblood, “when you spend as much time in Canterlot’s royal court as I do, you find out about these things before they’re officially announced. I overheard her talking about the importance of helping private farmlands and orchards become more profitable. She’s positively obsessed with offering financial aid to those in need.”

Vanilla’s eyes brightened for the first time since he’d seen her. “She is?”

“She is?” Charming growled through clenched teeth.

 Vanilla gazed into Blueblood’s eyes. “That’s... very...”

Charming set his hoof around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. “Now now, lady... your estate has been self-sufficient for generations. Don’t you think it would be improper of you to sully your heritage by depending on meager gifts from the government?”

Vanilla looked away, sheepishly. “Thank you, Sir Blueblood... but I must decline. This is a matter of honor. Not money.”

Blueblood nudged her chin and turned her face towards his. “You are quite correct, mi’lady. But honor is more than just being self-sufficient. It is about dignity.”

“But what of a husband?” she said. “No royal lady ever owned an estate without a husband to manage it for her.”

“In Trottingham, perhaps,” Blueblood said with a smile, “but I think you’ll find that Canterlot’s customs are rather more liberating.”

Count Charming stepped forward and scowled right in his face. “Then perhaps you should take your Canterlot customs out of Trottingham.”

Blueblood locked eyes with the stallion. Don’t let anything get to you, he thought to himself. He knows what a temper you have... but a real prince would know when keep his emotions under control. No matter what happens, don’t lose your—

Blueblood paused as he heard a crackling noise overhead. All three of them looked up and stared, slack jawed, as a surge of purple energy appeared in the air above them. The energy gathered in strength, and a rippling distortion formed in the air.

“What the...?” said Charming.

“Is it some kind of unicorn magic?” muttered Vanilla.

Blueblood shook his head, slowly. “Certainly not mine.”

Before any of them could act, the distortion became a yawning portal to the starry night sky. From the depths of this portal emerged a horde of tiny animals: an even mix of birds and rodents. A bushy-tailed squirrel landed on Blueblood’s shoulder and a dozen starlings alighted on his back, chirping rapidly. A pack of squirrels tumbled down and began skittering across the lawn.

“Eeeeek!” Vanilla began darting back and forth, desperate to avoid the swarm of rodents. “Get away get away get away!”

“Calm yourself, Milady,” blueblood said. “They’re just animals.”

“They’re horrible, wretched vermin is what they are!” Vanilla gasped for breath and began sneezing violently. “Quickly, somepony fetch me my meds!”

“Medicine? Is something wrong?”

“I’m allergic to these horrid little parasites! Arrgh!”

Blueblood and Charming both stared in shock as the delicate and demure Vanilla Dream began stamping her hooves on the lawn in a desperate, brutal attempt to trample the swarm. The critters nimbly dove out of the way each time. “Horrible, wretched little pests!” she snarled. “I’ll exterminate every last one of you!”

Vanilla’s sneezes quickly became more violent, and she expelled a small gout of rancid, lime-green flame from her nostrils. Blueblood and Charming stared, wide-eyed, as the fiery sneezes grew in intensity. An ember landed on her gown and the garment quickly became a vile green bonfire. She showed no sign of pain or discomfort, even as patches of her white coat turned charcoal black.

She gave one last spectacular sneeze, and the coating of embers fell from her body to reveal a jagged black carapace beneath. Her limbs were riven with holes and crevices, and a pair of insectine wings unfurled from her back.

“What are you incompetent fools waiting for?” she snarled. “I told you to fetch my allergy meds! I’m having an aneurism over here!”

“Chrysalis...?” Blueblood whispered.

The changeling queen gasped, eyes wide. “Impossible! How could you see through my—” she glanced down at herself. She looked up again, only then noticing the crowd of royal courtiers lined up by the doors and windows, staring at her in horror.

“Oh.”

“Were you...” Count Charming pointed at her. “...the whole time?”

Chrysalis’s voice instantly became sickly sweet and piteous. “I’m so dreadfully sorry, Charming... it was a lie at first, but I’ve truly grown to love you!” She set a hoof to her own chest, and cast her slitted eyes down in sorrow. “I’m not the monster you once knew. All I desire now is to love, and be loved in return!”

The crowd of royal courtiers, currently gathered by the door and windows, all tilted their heads and uttered a chorus of heartfelt ‘awwww’s.

“I swear to you,” she said, “I’ve changed! Can you ever accept me for what I am?”

Charming worked his jaw in thought. “So... you can look like anyone?”

“Oh, yes.” Her eyes darted side to side. “Do you, ah... prefer blondes? Or perhaps redheads?”

Blueblood leaned over and whispered harshly. “You can’t seriously be considering this!”

“Well, it sounds like she’s learned her lesson,” Charming said. “I’m sure she’s mended her ways since that whole... y’know... invasion thingy.”

“Awk! They’re just squirrels!”

Everybody turned to look at the bright yellow-and-blue tropical parrot currently perched on a nearby balcony railing.

“Easy there, Twilight! Awk! They’re just squirrels!”

“Twilight Sparkle did this!?” Chrysalis’ jaw clenched tighter and tighter until it looked like her skull would split open. Her legs trembled and her eyes burned with rage. She reared up and roared at the sky. “You will pay for this insult, Twilight Sparkle! You and your loved ones, your friends, your family—everypony you’ve ever held dear will fall dead to the ground, and you will be the last to die alone! Do you hear me, Twilight Sparkle? My hate will be—”

Chrysalis fell back to all fours and sneezed violently. She reared up and roared again.

“My hate will be the last thing you—” She collapsed and sneezed again. “My hate will—” She fell to an extended sneezing fit, and finally wiped her congested nose on a scrap of her charred ballgown. She halted, mid-wipe, and looked back at the crowd of ponies. All of a sudden, they seemed much less sympathetic.

“Okay, now... it’s not what it sounds like. There’s no need to—” She glanced up as six squadrons of pegasus cavalry hovered into place around her. She shot Count Charming a bright, fang-filled grin, and held her hoof next to her ear.

“Call me!”

The heavily armed guards all tackled her to the ground at once, burying her under a tangled heap of legs, lances and heavy armor.

“Verily,” Twilight Sparkle said as she gazed upwards and to the left, “We shall never know for—”

“I’ve heard enough of that speech, if’n ya don’t mind! You’re straight up crazy if ya think you can jes’ open up a portal to another dimension to get rid of a few harmless critters! Ah thought that bein’ all princessy would do you some good, but it’s clear to see yer just as bad as ever!”

“You, least of all, should presume to pass judgement upon Us. Thy use of language is utterly reprehensible.” Twilight tossed her mane. “There... we said it.”

“Mah use of language? What in tarnation does that have to do with anything!? And besides: you’re the one talkin’ all funny like!”

Twilight stood up. “This from the mare who is chronically incapable of ending any word with ‘ing,’ without hacking off the ‘g’ and replacing it with an apostrophe!”

“Now girls,” said Rarity. “There’s no need to be quarrelsome, is there?”

“There jes’ might be!” said Applejack. “You gotta problem with the way I talk? Well, this here’s my accent. I can’t hardly change it, now can I?”

“Thou couldst at least try to achieve a firm grasp of grammar.”

“You can’t go an’ mock somepony for somethin’ they had no choice about! Ah can’t control it anymore than ah kin control who mah parents were, or where I was born.”

Twilight watched her for a moment. “No... choice?”

“Thas’ right. It’s just a part of who ah am. Take it or leave it.”

Twilight’s horn flared and a beam of light struck Applejack in the face.

“Twilight, no!” said Rarity. “What are you doing!?”

“Problem solved,” said Twilight.

“What problem?” said Applejack. “What are you talking about?”

“You should figure it out yourself soon enough.”

“You used your magic to do something to me, did you not? Well, I am not...” Applejack froze, eyes wide. “I am not... happy. About this. Did I just say ‘am not’? Why does my voice sound so funny? And why am I unable to say ‘can not?’ ” She held a hoof to her throat. “What is wrong with me!?”

“Nothing,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Anymore, that is. I’ve also revoked your contractions for the time being. Apostrophes are a privilege, not a right. You can have them back after you have proven you can use them properly.”

“You need to fix this right away!” said Applejack. “You can not just change how somepony speaks! It is a part of who they are!”

“You yourself admitted that you had no choice about which accent you were born with. Well, you also have no choice about this. It should be all the same to you.”

Applejack stamped the ground. “I like the way I talk!”

Twilight stared at her, aghast. “You actually feel proud of your hideously broken dialect?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “I might point out that her accent was never that bad. She was always perfectly understandable.”

“Thou art being utterly hypocritical!” said Twilight. “When we use our powers to heal the sick and wounded, you applaud. But when we try to make ponies better than before, we are accused of villainy!”

“Applejack!”

They turned to see Rainbow Dash flying towards them. She moved withan exhausted limp, but waved at them frantically. “Twilight went on a rampage!” she gasped. “She gave the C.M.C. cutie marks for real this time!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “She has already done worse than that.”

“You don’t understand! Applebloom got a cutie mark that has absolutely nothing to do with apples!”

Applejack gasped, eyes wide. “Twilight, You monster! This is just wrong!”

“We do not care about right and wrong!” shouted Twilight Sparkle. “There is correct, and there is incorrect! That is all! Nothing more! End of discussion!”

Twilight let out a ragged cry of pain and fell to one knee. She pressed a hoof to her chest. Rarity rushed forward to help, but Applejack held her back.

“Why?” Twilight said, “why must you so stubbornly refuse to better yourselves? You ponies are so broken—so fundamentally ignorant and inaccurate—that you absolutely refuse to be made whole, even when it is offered to you on a silver platter!”

Rarity gasped as a crack appeared on Twilight’s chest: oily black veins spread from the crack and stained her purple coat.

Applejack fled, and pulled Rarity along with her. Twilight continued to rant to the sky.

“You ask Us to learn rules of etiquette and tolerance, such that We may avoid offending thee? Thee, who are flawed and broken? Nay, We say! It is you who must seek to better yourselves! It is you who must rise to Our level! We refuse to be dragged through the mire of your willful ignorance!”

“Applejack?” said Rarity, “what do we do?”

“What we should have done from the very beginning,” said Applejack. “We gather the others. We go to Princess Celestia. And we tell her everything.”

“But the elements! We used them to heal Nightmare Moon! Surely—”

“She is an element!” said Applejack. “We cannot do anything without all six! It is all we can do to keep her from taking possession of the remaining five!”

A deafening roar echoed over the village rooftops. They glanced back as a gargantuan pair of jet black wings raised up to the sky. The winged unicorn flew up and dragged her horn across the surface of the sky, tearing open a long ragged hole filled with starry night.

“Why?” Twilight Sparkle screamed down at the residents of Ponyville. “Why must you be so obscenely imperfect!?”

The mayor of Ponyville clapped her gavel against the wooden podium, and the crowded town hall quieted down as ponies settled into their folding seats. The mayor cleared her throat and set a giant stack of papers on the podium in front of herself.

“Now then! As I’m sure you’re all aware, the Ponyville Homeowner’s Society has gathered here today to discuss a very important issue: one that has been weighing heavily on all our minds for the past week.”

The crowd mumbled it’s assent.

“We’ve spent the last three monthly meetings discussing it, and I believe we’ve come very close to an agreement. This final vote will determine whether or not we shall hold a vote to determine what questions should go on our questionnaire when we ask citizens to decide if they want us to hold a roundtable discussion about whether or not to enact an ordinance that requires reflecting pools to be labeled as water hazards on private parks as well as public parks.”

There was a round of angry grumbling.

“Now now, ponies. We’ll have to face this dilemma eventually. We knew that someday, we would have to vote on this vote.”

One of the stallions in the back raised a hoof.

“Yes, you there? With the cummerbund?”

“We were thinking that perhaps it’s best not to rush into this too quickly. Would it be possible to schedule a vote next month before we vote on this vote?”

The mayor pursed her lips and nudged her glasses up. “Well, I suppose there’s no harm in that. After all, it’s better to be too thorough than to be not thorough enough.”

A thunderclap shattered every window in the hall, and a massive crack appeared in the domed roof of the town hall. The crowd gasped and dove for cover as something pried the roof apart: A blast of chill wind descended upon them, and the Mayor’s stack of papers were swept away in the swirling winds.

“...Than not to be thorough enough,” a voice boomed down.

The mayor ran back and forth across the stage as the crowd fled. “Oh! Oh, my! I say! What is the meaning of this!?”

“You said than to be not thorough enough. We are very disappointed in your grasp of grammar, Mayor. You have chosen... poorly.”

The Mayor squinted up at the dark figure that hovered down through the sundered roof. Whoever she was, she was huge: her wingspan covered the entire room.

“Who are you!?”

The figure hovered lower, and the wind lessened. The Mayor gasped as she saw the winged unicorn looming above her: her coat was dark purple, and gleamed brightly around the edges like glazed porcelain. Her eyes were solid black orbs filled with countless points of light. Her hooves and horn both had the lustre of finely polished obsidian.

“Twilight Sparkle!?”

“Princess Sparkle will suffice.” She drifted gently to the ground, and her hooves clicked on the floor. The mayor’s discarded sheets swirled around her in a pair of cross-wise orbits, producing a hauntingly quiet flutter of paper. “Miss Mayor. I would like to speak with you about your reading initiative.”

“We, ah... we don’t have a reading initiative. That I know of.”

“Precisely.”

The Mayor backed up against a wall and glanced about. There were no other ponies left, and no obvious escape routes. “The, ah... the Parent Teacher Association meets on thursdays, I’m afraid! But I’d be all too happy to bring it up then!”

“We have all the time in the world to wait. We see now that time is no more of an illusion than light and shadow. Time and space are one and the same. They are soft to us now, and easily sculpted.” Princess Sparkle took a slow, deliberate step closer. “But my patience is limited.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that!” said the mayor. “I could send the association a memo, if you like!”

“We will not meet with them. They will meet with us. We shall issue timetables for all civic activities, and we alone shall determine the higher functioning of this society.”

The mayor stared up at her. “You’ll have to speak with the event organizer then! Are you free next week?”

Princess Sparkle gazed off into some unknown distance as she spoke. “This shall be our grand experiment... here and now, we shall correct the imperfections suffered by our race. It is not enough for us to be united in governance, for we must be united in thought. Synchronicity shall grant us prosperity. Symmetry shall shield us from harm.”

“Can we... perhaps... discuss this at the next meeting?”

Princess Sparkle took one final step and peered down at her directly. “The homeowner's association—and all other civic institutions—are henceforth dissolved. We shall assume total authority over all responsibilities.”

“W-w-what do you need me for?”

“Yes. What do we need you for?” Twilight leaned close and gave her a warm, loving smile. “I would like to speak with you about your reading initiative.”

The Mayor stared into her eyes, paralyzed with rapture. “Yes, my princess! Oh, yes!”

Next Chapter: Chapter 18 Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 45 Minutes