Remind me to never make bets with Fallen Prime ever again. EVER.

I recently got riffing fever and wanted to riff some stories, in case you hadn’t seen my growing riff list. So, I asked Fallen to find some stories for me. Unfortunately, I was asking the one person that KNEW how much I love Fluttershy AND made me read AND riff “Momma Fluttershy.”

Truly, I asked the wrong fucking person.

ANYWAY, I made another bet with him. He’s gonna give me a list of stories for me to review, mostly one-shots and one multi-chapter. If I complete them, he’s gonna riff my “Starlight” series with me. If I fail, well I don’t know. But that scares me.

And this is the first story in my list of ones I have to complete. Short one-shot that involves Anon killing a pregnant Fluttershy, after he rapes her and....Well I’m not going to spoil that. Just know that as I write this, I am thinking about the many ways I can hunt down and otherwise brutally kill Fallen.

Let’s get this over with. Here’s FlutterLove.

May one of the Celestial Sisters have mercy on my soul.

twow: I thought that one was gonna work!

Derpy: Please twow. You can’t turn into a pony.

twow: I created a sword that can slice into the space/time continuum. Why can’t I make myself turn into a pony?

Dash: Because you just can’t.

twow: Thanks. Why are you here again?

Dash: I told you that we were gonna hang out sometime. ANd it gave me an excuse to talk with Derpy for a while.

twow: You could always just do that and let me work. That way I can go explore Ponyville without Twilight wrapping me in eighteen different spells.

Derpy: Well, we could take Dinky out for a while...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: Or you could be forced to stay in here and riff something. Of course.

Pinkie(from TV): Aw, come on T! It’s not that bad!

twow: Okay. YOU come in here and riff then.

Pinkie: I will another time. But I have a friend of yours here!

Fallen Prime: (from TV) ...you call him “T?”

twow: Pinkie. FUCKING WHY.

Dash: Oh. Hey there Fallen.

Fallen: Sup, Rainbow.

Derpy: Hi Fallen!

twow: My god..Pinkie, why is he in there?

Pinkie: Well, I’ll just let him tell you!

Fallen: Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.

twow: That’s not any sort of a promise when it comes to YOU.

Fallen: Lovely. Well, our little pink friend over here came to me with an interesting proposition.

Dash: And what was it?

Fallen: Nothing huge. She just wanted to know if I’d be willing to help her force you into a riff. I had so much fun holding the reins for “pRince Martin Willis” that I couldn’t say no. She even let me pick the story!

twow: That scares me to no end.

Derpy: Come on twow! It can’t be that bad!

twow: Derpy, you were THERE for “Momma Fluttershy!” How can you still say that?!

Dash: What is it?

Fallen: Well... twow was close when he said “Momma Fluttershy.” It’s another story about her, but... due to the nature of the thing, and given what she revealed to us in the last marathon, Pinkie and I didn’t have the heart to arrange for her to be here for it.

twow: (twitch)

Derpy: Uh, twow? You alright?

Fallen: Leave him. You’ll be just as bad.

Derpy: Wait, what?

twow: (clears throat) Hey Fallen.

Fallen: This ought to be good... what?

twow: Allow me to ask...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Fallen: The answer would only scare you.

Dash: I don’t want to be here anymore.

Pinkie: Sorry guys, but you gotta do it!

twow: I swear. You and Fallen don’t have souls.

Fallen: You take that back! Pinkie does TOO have a soul!

twow: Then we wouldn’t be here.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

It was just another day in the land of magical ponies.

        twow: “Everyday I’m surrounded by these ponies.”

        Dash: “Everyday?”

        twow: “EVERYDAY.”

        Derpy: “What a tragedy.”

You are hiking on a mountain. You stop for a second to wipe sweat from your brow and take a look up into the sky. The sun was shining bright as usual.

        Derpy: Unless Princess Celestia takes a vacation.

        twow: Wait, can she even do that?

        Dash: She tried. Didn’t end well.

        twow: How bad?

        Dash: Imagine day and night at the same time.

        twow: Yikes.

You don’t know how long you’ve been in Equestria. You were brought here by an unknown force.

        twow: We didn’t want to know how you got here anyway.

        Dash: I blame the loss of reason.

 Now you would think a meat eating tall alien would be shunned by the ponies.

        Derpy: Not to be mean, but it kinda would.

        Dash: At least until we knew it was friendly.

You would be wrong, it took a while but you were slowly was accepted in pony society.

        twow: I would kill to know how that worked.

 You got a job... well did multiple little jobs for some quick cash, what's important is that you earned an honest pay, and had a nice place built. You even made a lot of friends back in Ponyville.

        Derpy: Well, you eat meat twow and we still like you.

        twow: If you count fish.

        Derpy: We still like you though.

        Dash: We can stand you a bit more than Fallen.

        twow: I’ll tell him you said that.

Fallen: (from TV) You HAVE to know I can hear you from here, Rainbow.

Dash: Oh..

twow: Damn it Fallen!

At times you wanted to give up, but that was never your style. You are Anonymous.

        Dash: “I have never been my own person.”

        Derpy: “I never will be a person.”

        twow: I really don’t like that this is second person.

You continue to trek along the mountainside and you come across a cave. Guess you should camp out here for the rest of the day until tomorrow.

        Derpy: Why is he here? There was NO backstory.

twow: Usually I would flip at that, but I don’t think any true backstory for this would work.

 You’ve been walking for 2 days strait. You could use some rest, water, and food. You set your bags down and take a sip from your canteen. You wince as you try to take your boots off.Your feet are covered in blisters and blood.

        Dash: So, did he not sleep at all?

        twow: That’s implied.

You rummage through your pack and pull out a box. “Mmmmm cupcakes.”

twow: Must...resist...overused...joke.

Dash: Please do.

Derpy: I’m sure that Pinkie made those.

twow: With Dash’s...

Dash: DO NOT FINISH THAT.        

 You take a bite and just close your eyes taking in that amazing sweet flavor. Pinkie Pie always made the best cupcakes, she wasn’t your bro but was up there.

        Derpy: Seeing how Pinkie is a mare, she can’t be this guy’s bro.

        twow: Earth expression Derpy. Really bad one though.

 “Dash… I’m so sorry.” You start sobbing as you feast on the last of the pastries in the box. They were going to get bad soon anyways.

        Dash: For what?

        twow: He’s sorry for existing.

        Derpy: That’s kinda harsh.

        twow: It’s not harsh enough.

When you are done you just lay back and cry yourself to sleep. You are awaken by a light clopping noise. You jump to your feet and scan the area for the intruder. It’s nighttime but you can see a shadow at the mouth of the cave. You also hear an “EEP.” You sigh and sit back down.

        twow: Oh boy.

        Derpy: It’s Fluttershy, right?

        Dash: You know. Because she’s gonna follow him. At night.

        twow: Because FUCK LOGIC.

”You shouldn’t have followed me here Fluttershy, come out.”

“W-what?”

        twow: Guess she needed to come out...Ah fuck it.

        Dash: Wow. You’re actually reaching.

        twow: My humor is being drained from my body.

She slowly trots towards you with tears in her eyes. You want to be angry at her but to see a familiar place after being alone for so long…

        Derpy: Fluttershy’s a place now. Okay.

        twow: Filled with little bunnies and trees. Everywhere.

 You had grown accustomed to having so many friends hanging around you all the time in Ponyville. ”You shouldn’t have followed me out here Fluttershy. How did you find me?”

        Dash: She’s a pegasus. It probably wasn’t that hard.

        twow: I don’t know. She would have had to fly for a while.

        Derpy: True, but we can stand on and move clouds.

”Anon I’m so happy I found you… a little bird told me.”

A little… ohh… knowing Fluttershy that could be quite literal. “You should leave. Now.”

        twow: Didn’t you JUST say that you were happy to see her?

        Dash: Someone’s mood-swinging.

”Anon why did you leave, what happened in Canterlot?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dash: Dude, Fluttershy is the ONE pony that you SHOULD talk to. She’s great at understanding people.

        Derpy: I know!

        twow: Girls, this isn’t a person. This is Anon.

“But-”

“Don’t push it Fluttershy just leave.”

        Dash: “You must go from here. I might flip out on you.”

        twow: Well...

        Derpy: “I am Anon. I don’t have feelings.”

        twow: Hit that right on the head Derpy.

”Anon I had something important to tell you, but you just packed up and left without telling anypony, you didn’t even let Rainbow know you left, she hasn’t been the same since.” You don’t respond, you are torn up about the pain you caused your Rainbro. ”If you aren’t going to talk than just listen to me, I’m pregnant.”

        twow: (facepalm 2x combo)

        Dash: “Rainbro?” Really?

        Derpy: I guess he considered you his brother.

        Dash: That’s a frightening thought.

        twow: YOU ARE MISSING THE IMPORTANT PART HERE.

Your eyes go saucer wide and you turn to face her. “Is… how…impossible.”

She places a hoof on your shoulder. ”Anon, I-” She gets interrupted with a jab in the stomach.

        twow: (twitch)

        Dash: Why did he jab her?

        Derpy: Wait. Was it a soft jab, or did he punch her?

        Dash: If he punched her, then he’s not going to have arms to punch anything else.

“NO, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.” You keep beating her senseless.

”Anon… please stop.”

“NO, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME YOU TRAMP, IT’S YOUR FAULT I HAD TO LEAVE.”

”w-what?”

        Dash: Yeah what?! We don’t know anything here?

        Derpy: Did he just lose it at seeing her?

        Dash: Apparently.

        Derpy: I’m so confused here.

”CELESTIA SAID I WAS CORRUPTING YOU AND APPLEJACK SOMEHOW AND BANISHED ME, I HAVE 1 WEEK TO GET OUT OF EQUESTRIAN BORDERS OR SHE’LL VAPORIZE ME.” You break down in tears again. ”It’s all a game to her, I know I won’t make it in time. SHE’S TOYING WITH ME.”

twow: If you count him fucking her and getting her pregnant, which DOES NOT WORK, then yeah! FUCK YOU!

        Dash: Great. He’s in the process of breaking.

        Derpy: So, we have to riff on then?

        Dash: Either that or live in this lab forever.

        Derpy: That might not be so bad.

“Anon… I didn’t know… I’m sorry. I’ll go tell Rainbow Dash and the others, they’ll understand.”

“No.”

”What?”

        Dash: Well, at least he knows that we wouldn’t understand.

        twow: That just makes what’s about to happen worse.

You pounce on her. “NO, you are not leaving this cave alive, you are going to pay for everything you’ve done.” You pull out a knife and bring it to her face.

”Anon please don’t do this… I’m so sorry.”

        twow: Fluttershy, you didn’t DO anything! Why the fuck are you sorry?!

        Derpy: She’s probably sorry that she followed this jerk.

You suddenly get another idea, you want her to feel the pain you felt 2 weeks prior.

twow: Wasn’t he only traveling for two days?

Dash: No consistency is best consistency.

You take off your belt with one hand while holding the knife to her neck. A trickle of blood runs down the side of her neck and your greedily lick it up while teasing her entrance with your manhood.

        Dash: Oh... Why.

        Derpy: You’re strangely not reacting...twow PUT THE SWORD DOWN!

        twow: This fuckhead DIES!

Fallen: (from TV) For the record? You’re going to make me one of those swords.

twow: Sure. Right after I jam this one UP YOUR ASS.

Fallen: Oh, come on! Not in front of an audience!

Derpy: Now probably isn’t a good time Fallen.

”P-please Anon not like this.”

“Not like this?” You start laughing manically. “NOT LIKE THIS? YOU RAPED ME! AND YOU DARE LIE TO ME SAYING THAT YOU ARE SOMEHOW PREGNANT? IS THAT A PLOY TO GET ME TO LIVE WITH YOU SO YOU CAN SEXUALLY ABUSE ME EVERYDAY? I BET YOU RAPED SOME OTHER STALLION JUST SO YOU COULD FUCKING PIN IT ON ME.”

        twow: Wait. WAIT one second!

        Dash: twow...

        Derpy: No, let him. He’s probably not going to use actual words after this.

twow: She said that she was pregnant. His reaction indicates that he was the one that impregnated HER. Which isn’t even possible. But, why the fuck is HE pissed off?! If he has to leave Equestria, then he shouldn’t even be worried about the foal, or whatever it is. Also, I’m going to assume that it was consensual because she didn’t act like she was ashamed and I know for a FACT that Fluttershy wouldn’t rape ANYONE.

Dash: Wow. That was impressive.

You thrust into her and pound her as hard and as fast as you can. She kicks at you trying to get you off. ”Ahhhh~ Anon…. I’m …. Not lying… please stop… I’m sorry.” She says between hard breaths and moans.

        twow: You son of a...

Derpy: Wait a second! He said that SHE raped HIM. In that case, why is he suddenly stronger than her?!

        Dash: By his logic, she should be the one that’s raping him!

        twow: This story took logic, raped it and then BURNED IT AT THE FUCKING STAKE.

”Stop? You want me to stop? Fluttershy I thought this was what you always wanted.” You say still laughing. She is still squirming under you determined to get you off of her. You pin her wings down with your elbows to make her stop.

        Derpy: Uhhh, she can still squirm.

        Dash: This story makes me hate things.

        twow: Okay, fuck the sword. BASS CANNON TIME!

        Dash: You have one of those?!

        twow: Made two. Gave one to Vinyl.

Fallen: (from TV) So I should charge YOU for the damage she did to my doors!

twow: Piss off!

She screams in pain and stops kicking. You are getting close. Any last words Fluttershy?” you manage to say in between grunts.

        Dash: You’re a horrible person?

        Derpy: Princess Celestia should have turned YOU into stone?

twow: I should have found you, castrated you with a spoon, poured acid on your dick and flayed you alive with a butter knife?

Dash: I don’t think I want to sit next to him anymore.

” Was… hematolagnia your fetish… this whole time?”

        All: PROBABLY!!

“I don't know.” You will never satisfy her with the answer, not even in death. You then lift your elbows up and decapitate her as you cum inside her sugar walls.

All: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 You lay by her lifeless body while licking up some more blood. You lay there with her in your arms, you should probably take her with you as food substance. You throw her lifeless body in the pack and leave.

Derpy: He’s, he’s gonna EAT HER?!

Dash: I can see why he got banished!

twow: And I can see why he’s gonna DIE.        

You really hope you make it out before the week is up.

        twow: If I can help it, he won’t.

        Derpy: I thought he only had two days?

        Dash: Let it go Derpy. We finished.

Fallen: (from TV) See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?

        twow: Bad? BAD?

        Dash: Oh great. Here we go again.

        Derpy: I’ll grab the earmuffs.

        Fallen: I’ve got the popcorn. Please, proceed.

twow: First off, this was second person! Second off, there was NO fucking backstory! We were supposed to imply that we KNEW what happened from the shitty clues in the story! Did I mention that this was a HiE fic?! And when Fluttershy pops up, it’s all like, OH SHIT I’M GOING TO HAVE A CHILD WITH YOU. Which can NOT FUCKING HAPPEN.

Fallen: Oh, “My Second Life” would make you WEEP.

twow: And for no reason, he flips the fuck out and rapes her, AFTER claiming that SHE raped HIM. That also doesn’t work because rape is a show of power! If the story was trying to make sense, then she would have raped him in the cave! But it doesn’t, and after he rapes her, HE FUCKING CUTS HER HEAD OFF.

Dash: I just remembered. If she’s dead, then her child dies...

twow: Oh! HAI MOMMA FLUTTERSHY FLASHBACKS!

Fallen: Took you that long? Wow, that’s kind of sad.

twow: FUCK YOUUUUU-

Derpy: So, this was a really, bad story. I’d say that it was written for shock, but the story can’t make sense with itself.

Dash: And in the end, it really failed at what it was trying to do.

Pinkie(from TV): Wow, I’m sorry T. I didn’t know you were going to react like that.

Fallen: But I did. Why the hell do you think I gave it to you to give to them?

twow: (sobs) I hate everything.

Dash: Geez Fallen. What is it with you and seeing twow suffer?

Fallen: Tell me it’s not amusing from the other side of the TV. I dare you.

Dash: I’ve never BEEN on the other side when twow’s there.

Derpy: You didn’t answer the question Fallen.

Fallen: What more do I NEED to say? It’s just fun to watch him squirm.

Derpy: Aren’t you two friends though?

Fallen: That’s what it says on all the legal documents, at least.

twow: Remind me to burn those.

Fallen: I’m better armed than you will ever be. By all means, try.

twow: Well, I can slice into the space-time continuum and I’m building a TARDIS. Bitch.

Dash: Relax you two. Pinkie, can you let us out?

Pinkie(from TV): Yup! You were good sports!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

twow: I’ll be fine, as long as Fallen doesn’t give Pinkie more stories to give us.

Fallen: Oh, you poor, doomed child. You’re gonna be here for a loooooong time.

twow: Wait, what? This was a one-time thing.

Pinkie(From TV): Wellllll...

Fallen: (cackling maniacally)

twow: EXPLAIN.

Fallen: Pinkie didn’t commission me for the one story. She did it for SEVERAL. You know what they say, though; first is the worst. Not that the rest don’t hurt like hell...

Dash: Pinkie, why didn’t you tell me about this?!

Pinkie: I kinda forgot.

twow: So, when’s the next one Fallen?

Fallen: Where’s the fun in just telling you? It’ll come when you least expect it. You’ll know it when it does, though.

twow: I am going to stay the HELL away from my lab for a while.

Derpy: You live here twow. Not gonna be easy.

twow: Right. Well, time to try to pilot my model TARDIS into Fallen’s armory.

Fallen: Hope you built two, because I can’t promise it’ll still be yours if you get anywhere NEAR my armory. At any rate, I think we’re done here. Pinkie, the button, if you will.

Pinkie: You got it! See you next time T!

twow: So not looking forward to it.

(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip)