Hey everyone, been awhile. Let’s start with a history lesson.

My friends and I got really bored and decided to write a troll fic for no reason at all. Or wait..it was to prove a point. A lot of fics that really are bad for some reason or another actually get passed. The point of this fic was to see just how bad we could make a fic on purpose and still get it approved. In fact, this had to be redone because they didn’t pass it.

And now, I’m going to be riffing the version that got passed. It’s still really, really bad.

I present to you, The Marvellous Adventures Of Spike the Pervert

This one’s gonna HURT.

        twow443: Well then. Who knew that trying to make a fridge into a car wouldn’t work?

        Pinkie:(from TV) Duh! Everypony knows that ovens are all the rage!

        twow: Really now?

        Pinkie: Of course! Go with the gas ones though. Much better.

        twow: Okay then...What do you want Pinkie?

        Pinkie: Nothing! I just got bored all by myself.

        twow: Where’s Rainbow? Isn’t she with you usually?

        Pinkie: (shakes head) Not today!

        (The lab doors open, revealing Rainbow and Twilight)

        twow: Well then...

        Dash: Wow. Quite the place you got here, twow.

        Twilight: Yeah! Derpy wasn’t kidding! Look at all this...

        twow: Don’t touch the ice pistol!

        (Twilight levitates the pistol and almost freezes Rainbow solid)

        Twilight: Oops.

        twow: (Facepalms) Why are you two here?

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Dash: Great. I knew there was a reason Pinkie said to grab Twilight and head over

here.

twow: Rainbow, half the times you’re pranking with her. Why do you come to these obvious set-ups?

Dash: I don’t learn?

Twilight: Drop it you two. Pinkie, what are we reading?

Pinkie: (From TV) The Marvellous Adventures of Spike the Pervert!

twow: Pinkie WHY?

Twilight: You’ve heard of this?

twow: Yup, and you aren’t gonna enjoy this. Not one bit.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Spike’s day started out normally and just like any other day that he would have lived could have ever starten.

twow: I’d give it a point for not having a cliche intro, but I can’t tell...

Twilight: It’s a cliche gone so wrong.

 He leaped out of bed and wantered downstaries.

Dash: Wantered? How do you do that?

twow: Wander while your high, drunk and burning yourself.

“Hai Twilight, how are you?” Spike said. “

I’m fine spik, why do you ask?”

Twilight: No capital AND it’s spelled wrong?!

twow: Well, this is gonna suck.

Dash: Can’t be as bad as when we riffed “Discord.”

Spike mearly looked at her befure responding “Not much I just wok up and wanted some food.”

Dash: Usually you wake up hungry.

twow: Unless you're coming of a high.

Dash: Wouldn’t you be more hungry then?

twow: How would you know?

Dash: It was a guess!

"Ok spike” twiligth said. “I think we have some waffles in the kitchen!”

Spike was excited because he leoved waffles and especially with syrup! “OH i love da waffles twilight?”

Twilight: “I love da waffles too Spike! Maybe I can put da butter and smear da syrup         on them too!”

twow: I don’t want to sit next to her.

Dash: I’m not moving.

Even do it wuz early in the morning he didn’t not care because the waffles were SO GOOD. Spike liked the walfles so much that he Felt AROUSED and his baby dragon parts grew increadilbley… hard. Twilight, I like you so much and these waffles are making me hurny!

All: What.

Dash: Hey twow...

twow: Yes, I’m a male, and NO. Waffles do not arouse males!

Twilight: Is it the syrup?

twow: NO!

Twitlight was surprised and said, “Wow do you wanna have sex then.”

Twilight: NO I WOULD NOT ASK THAT!

twow: Isn’t Spike still a baby? Wouldn’t that be foalcon?

Dash: And who is “Twitlight?” Was the author calling you a name?

twow: He was. It just wasn’t her name.

Twilight: WHY ARE YOU TWO IGNORING THE BIG PICTURE HERE?!

SPike was like, “Yeah!” and then He waldked over to twilight with his big purple dragon lust boner.

twow: Barney 2.0.

Him and Twilik Spakle went “ur ur ur” and then spike sprayed his baby dragon juice all over the place.

twow: Don’t you go, “uh uh uh?”

Dash: I thought it was, “yeah, yeah, yeah”

Twilight: What are you two DOING?!

twow: Story’s driving us off the deep end.

Dash: I jumped off it and forgot I could fly.

“Oh wow Spikei that was a lot and you were really good.”

Twilight: He’s just a baby! How does he have that much semen?

twow: Also, is he related to George Takei?

“Did youo like it?.” Spike said and then Twilighty was like, “Yeah it wuz yo hehe. We shouls sooooo do this again,” but Spike was not completely satisfied so he decided to go out on the town.

Dash: Wait, Twilight didn’t finish. If Spike was still aroused, couldn’t they have gone again?

Twilight: And why did I even DO it?!

twow: I think I’m more concerned with the fact that she isn’t commenting on the grammar.

Spike eyed all off ta ponies hungrily because he was reeeeely hurny for more pony posterior and stuff so he walk into the twon squaree and everybudy was walking around and stuff because everydody knows that ponies like to walk because it is what they do.

twow: That sentence didn’t have one damn comma.

Dash: We do more than walk! Some of us fly!

Twilight: You know what we don’t do? HAVE SEX WITH BABY DRAGONS!

Spike saw rainbow dish flying through the sky above Rainbow Dash, “hey Rainbow Darsh!”

twow: (laughing) Rainbow Dish?! Was she a plate, cup, saucepan?!

Dash: Shut up.

Twilight: Wow. At least he got the first part of your name correct.

Then Rainbow dash flow around

        twow: Huh. You really do go with the flow. (slapped by Dash)

        Dash: That was bad and you should feel bad.

 and saw Spike on the ground Rainblow Dish was like “hey spike what r you oh my goodness what are you doing.” “I’m trying to dance and sing and get some of that ass.”

twow: He wasn’t dancing OR singing. He was walking around with a raging boner. (brained by both mares)

Twilight: Would you REALLY want him?

Dash: Dear Celestia no! I’m so OOC in this, it’s not even funny!

“Ooh Rainbow Dacsh  said. “i would do to dat let me come down there and we can have somefun.

Dash: Yeah! We could go to the beach, or visit Pinkie or...

twow: We both know what’s gonna happen Dash.

Dash: (Sobs) I don’t want it!

spike jumped on rainbow dashed back and they went over to behind a bush because the marketplace was crowded. “Oooh Spike, youre so awesome and realay sexey and I love you so much! Rainbow Flash leaned down to lick Spieke’s elongated dragon boner.

twow: Oh god EW.

Dash: The images!

Twilight: IT BURNS.

She said “Oh Spike you are so good at this! To which Spike replied “yeah I just did Twilord this morning too, it was totally awesome but you’re otter.”

twow: She’s a bird!

Twilight: No.

Dash: She’s a plane!

Twilight: NO.

twow and Dash: She’s TWILORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

(Twilight facehoofs as the other two hi-five)

He smiled to Dash. Dash smiled to Dash. He climed on his flank and penetated har so deep thet she was close to orgassm

        Twilight: Is this rated Teen? How is this rated Teen?

        twow: Because of stupid.

Spike unleash load of dragon juice and shot his load in his face while screamed “ASSSo steeamy! Rainboow Dish was like “Ahhh So GOOD!” And then she passed out from spike’s SHEER DRAGON AWESOME CUM!

twow: So I guess dragons are better than ponies at this stuff.

Dash: Please. Stop talking.

“Oh My!” Spike said like George Takei before walking out from behind the bush and leaving Rainbow there, the ponies in the marketplace weren’t too surprise to se Spike setp out from behings bush because that was the public local sex bush.

Dash: Public local sex bush. Okay.

Twilight: He didn’t need to say “public” AND “local”!

twow: Called it on the George Takei.

Spike decided to just go on his way, but then he smelled the delicious smell coming from Sugar Cube Corner.

Twilight: It always smells nice there. I’d head over there myself if I could.

twow: You do realize what’s about to happen.

Dash: I do, and I don’t want to anymore.

He smelled all the cookies and the other pastry and he walked inside because he wanted to by something but strangly enough it was empty accept for Pinkie.

Dash: Bull. It’s NEVER empty there. Even when it’s closed, ponies still try to get inside.

twow: I don’t even think he has any bits. Guess he’ll have to pay with something else...(smacked by Twilight)

Twilight: STOP.

twow: He’ll pay with his dick. (shot by Twilight)

Twilight: I WARNED YOU.

twow: (writhing on the ground) No regrets!

Hey” Pinkie” Spike yelled because he saw her behind the counter looking all sad and such so he wanted to cheer her up plus her big bubble but was making him rely horny.

twow: Please. Pinkie does NOT get sad that easily.

Dash: Why was she even sad?

twow: Plot device so Spike can screw her brains out.

“Hey Pinkie what’s wrong? Spike sawyed before going over to Pinkie. Pinkie isn’t really sad!

twow: Thought so.

She is just hoofing herself because nopony else is in the shop because she forgot to chance the sign to open from the closed.

twow: ...

Twilight: She could always change the sign...

“SPike! WHat are you doing here?!” Pinkie cried out in embarassment

“here lemme hlep you with that,” Spike said.

        Dash: I can’t comment on this.

        Twilight: SPIKE!

        twow: She still can.

Then Spike isnerted his perpetually bonerific penis into Pinkie’s oven to help her bake some cupcakes.

All: (facepalm3xcombo)

 “Ooooh. Ooooh. Ohooohoihoihoh!” Pinkie said because Spike was such a good baller G at sex even though he was a virgin until today. Pinkie came even fast than Spike.

twow: Um, no. I’m a virgin, but I’m damn sure that Spike is NOT that good at this yet.

Dash: I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out yet.

Twilight: Or that I haven’t stopped him.

“OH SPIKE IM FREAKING COMING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A BROKEN FIRE HYDRANT!” and then Spike said “OH NOES THE HOES IS TURNING ON!”

twow: I thought that I’d heard bad teams for sex. I was dead wrong.

Twilight: That sentence placed a horrible picture in my mind.

twow: Don’t share it.

Together they spewed their collective juices all ofver the place and then Pinkie Pie slipped on the slippery linoleum floor and nocked herself out. Oh well.

Dash: How did she even DO that?!

twow: She’s Pinkie. I leave it at that.

Spike just decided to let her rest and go outside but then he saw Applejack selling apples at her apple cart so he decided to be more daring.

twow: Just like Daring Do.

Dash: No.

 He walked right up to here and kissed her on the face because that is where people kiss each other when they are attracted or like each other or are realy horny!!

twow: “Now when a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very much..”

Twilight: Please don’t finish that.

Dash: “They let their little dragon go out and screw everypony.”

twow: Wow, Dash.

Applejack was all like: “Hey Spike I didn’t know you feel that way about me let’s go have sex behind that bush because it’s private and you’re makin gme really horny and shit” So then they want behind the bush.

Twilight: What?! AJ wouldn’t have sex with him!

twow: Twilight. The point of this story is for Spike to have sex with all of you. And the author is going to make that happen.

Spike and Snapplecrack had sex for like 1 whole hour because spike is so boos but they did things that are too weird to be told in a story because Applecrack is all conutry hick farmer and stuff yo!

twow: Oh fucking PLEASE. Fallen and I riffed “Momma Fluttershy.”

Dash: And your point is?

twow: I have yet to see the story that can top that in weird sex.

 Then Applejack went back to selling apples and nobody even noticed that she was gone because she is country NINJA!

twow: Ninja Pony 2

Dash: Rated “E” for eerily weird.

Spike was bored but then he remembered that the SUPER SEXY ALL POWERFUL RAIRITY THE UNICORN PONY, WHO WAS A PONY THAT LIKE FASHION lived across the seat and he wanted to see her and maybe have sex with her.

Twilight: Well. I wonder what’s going to happen.

Dash: As if we don’t know.

twow: They’re gonna go bake cupcakes.

Oh your so hot spike rarity said and then Spike said, “Yes, I know, let’s have sex.”

twow: Because why NOT?!

Twilight: It’s morally wrong?

Dash: It’s weird as all heck?

twow: That question wasn’t supposed to be answered.

Then Spike and Rarity had pony dragon sex for a million times because they are each others one true love and nobody can ever break them apart ever.

Twilight: I’d say that this was adorable, but it’s not.

Dash: Probably because of what happened earlier.

Twilight: And that he’s a baby. And Rarity would not take advantage of him.

 Spike decided not to go to Fluttershy house because she is too innocent have pony sex plus nobody really cares about her and everypony igores her anway.

twow: (twitch)

Twilight: Uh, something wrong with you, twow?

Dash: Besides Derpy and Luna, Fluttershy is his favorite.

Twilight: Oh...

twow: EVERYONE DOES NOT IGNORE HER!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight: Move on now?

Dash: Yes.

Now that Spike had had sex with everypony who was really hot and sexy, he wanted to go home and take a nap.

twow: I’m STILL surprised he hasn’t passed out.

Dash: Well, he is a hyper little dragon.

 He wanted to have sex with everypony because everybrony knows that if they were a pony that every pony would be at least an 8 on the sexy scale because they are super hot, especially Braeburn BRAEBURN!

twow: Fucking Braeburn...

Twilight: Wait, what?

twow: In the fandom, he’s considered the hottest stallion.

Dash: And most of you are males, right?

twow: Yes.

Twilight: AJ would not approve of this.

Dash: Ew.

 But Spike was too tired plus he was suporsed to call his doctor if his erection lasted more than four hours plus he had just jizz 5 times in like one day so give a guy a break gosh!

twow: “Guys. I got laid five times today. Leave me alone.”

Twilight: Don’t use numbers in your sentences!

Dash: Just gonna ignore that Twilight?

Twilight: Trying to.

Spike went to slepp *Dream sequence activeate*

Dash: “Dream go!”

twow: “You have entered, The Twilight Zone.”

Spike floated around in the vast expanse of darkness that was his mind, observing the various objects floating around. Suddenly, he saw something that brought him to tears. A large Belgian Waffle with delicious, golden, fluffy crust was gently floating towards him.

twow: Wow. Spike really likes waffles.

Dash: How big was it?

twow: No idea. In fact, I’m surprised it didn’t go into more details.

 Spike devoured the Europonian waffle ravenously and with great gusto; he’d never had such a marvelous treat in his entire life, even if it had been a dream.

Twilight: I don’t know. He really loves gems.

twow: Isn’t that what got him into that situation with all of your pets?

Dash: Don’t remind me.

He could feel its delicious syrup dripping down his chin as bits of waffle flew every which way. Why couldn’t more of his dream go something like this? This was perhaps one of the greatest dreams that he had ever had in his short life! Maybe he loved waffles way too much, but he was sure that if it was wrong to love waffles this much, he didn’t want to be right.

twow: As long as he doesn’t start to fuck it, I’m good.

Twilight: TWOW!

 twow: All the things I’ve said and THAT pisses you off? Geez, you’re more tolerant with Fallen.

 Dash: Not always.

”Spike? Spike, where are you? Spike, wake up! I need you!”

twow: “I need to have sex with your underage body again!” (thrown into wall by Twilight)

Dash: Taking it too far, twow.

He felt himself being pulled from his sleep, probably by Twilight to do his daily chores. He gave a small sigh and a tear escaped his dragon iris as he slowly let go of the remnants of what had once been a delicious masterpiece of confectionary delight.

Twilight: Didn’t he eat the whole waffle though?

Dash: He was hanging on to the bits and pieces of what was left.

 Slowly, he began to rise through the vast darkness around him into the ever expanding light present in the sky.

twow: Normally I’d tell him to not go to the light, but he has no choice now.

*End Dream Sequence*

Twilight: Thanks for letting us know.

*3 Months later*

Twilight: What?!

Dash: Wait, I thought he was waking up! What happened?

twow: Pacing called and took a holiday.

“Spike how are you fealing” Nurse Redheart asked.

Spike said, “I’m fine.”

twow: Should be, even though we have NO idea what happened.

Dash: Unless the story wants to imply that he kept having sex with us.

“I’m sorry but you had too much sex and you are now going to die from low sperm count in 5.2 secenods.” “Aaaaah.” Spike screamed before he feel to the ground and died.

twow: Um...

Twilight: twow...

twow: As far as I know, it doesn’t work like that. Besides, he’s a dragon.

Dash: He sounded like he really didn’t care that he was dying.

The End.

And then I came.

        Twilight: Well. That’s a way to end your story.

        twow: Who cares? Let’s get the fuck OUT.

        Twilight: That was horrible!

        Dash: I really didn’t want to read about my dragon friend having sex with all of us.

twow: Not to mention the grammar was enough to make you puke blood, the story made no sense at all, and the pacing went faster than the Road Runner on speed and with rockets on his back!

Dash: Was this a trollfic? PLEASE tell me it was a trollfic.

twow: It was.

Twilight: But twow. All of your friends can write well. Why was this written?

twow: I might be wrong on the actual story, but it was called “Blue Thunder.”

Dash: And?

twow: Each fucking chapter was a HUGE wall of text, and I don’t remember the plot. A friend reviewed it, and it wasn’t pretty. God help me if Pinkie makes me riff that.

Twilight: And this was written why?

twow: We couldn’t understand how it passed moderation. So, we decided to purposely write a bad fic and see how bad we could get it for it to still pass. The original draft failed.

Twilight: And this was the remake?

twow: Yup.

Dash: Wow. The mods really should take more time to read these fics.

twow: In all honesty, I can’t blame them. There isn’t a lot of them and a TON of fics are sent in every day. In fact, there was a time where it could take up to a WEEK to get a fic approved.

Dash: Wow.

twow: Yup. But as you can see, because of that shit like THIS gets passed.

Pinkie(from TV) And it was great!

(The lab doors unlock and open)

Dash: Well, I’ll see you around  twow. Maybe we’ll hang out sometime.

twow: I’m fine with that, if I can get my pony creator to work.

(Dash smiles and flies out, but Twilight stays.)

Twilight: Hey twow?

twow: Yeah?

Twilight: I was talking with Fallen about you, and he was right.

twow: About?

Twilight: You really are a nice person. It was fun spending time with you.

twow: Well, I respect Fallen and he says that about someone, he usually means it. So I’m rather honored. And if it means anything, I think the same about him. He pushes me to my limits, which helps me alot. I better thank him next time I see him.

Twilight: Yeah. I’ll see you later.

twow: Yup. See you.

(Twilight leaves the lab.)

Pinkie(from TV): I like you too T! You’re as much fun to prank as Primey is!

twow: Well, THAT’s a relief.

Pinkie(from TV): I know! Well, time to go confer with him to figure out another prank for you!

twow: Pinkie, wha-

(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)