And I thought my day couldn’t get any better...

Today we’re tackling the third chapter of Family Bonds. And if you remember, I loathed the last chapter.

I don’t know what to expect seeing as how both foals have been fucked, but I’m not letting my guard down. Last time I did that, I punched a hole in the wall.

Let’s do this. Chapter three of Family Bonds.

        twow: Alright, I think that it’s complete.

        Pinkie: Really?

twow: I THINK it’s complete, Pinkie. It’s not every day that you build a fridge that’s the size of a cellphone.

        Pinkie: Don’t forget how big it is on the inside!

        twow: I couldn’t. You could get lost in there.

        Pinkie: (giggles)

        twow: Heh. Next, I need to try this with the oven.

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Yeah, I don’t think that Sugarcube Corner needs a portable oven.

        twow: Think of the possibilities! Cake on the go!

        Dash: (rolls eyes) Either way...

        (The lab doors slam shut and lock)

        Pinkie: Oh, a story to riff? What’s the story, Dashie?

        Dash: ...

        twow: Dash? You alright?

        Dash: (sighs) It’s “Family Bonds.”

        twow: Oh shi-

        (Pinkie’s mane immediately flattens)

        twow: ...thought that was gonna happen.

        Dash: I’m sorry, guys.

        Pinkamena: Always when I’m having a good day.

Dash: If it makes it any better, this chapter is only one-third the length of the other two.

        twow: Huh. Alright, let’s do this, Pinkie.

        Pinkie: Yup!

        *BUZZ*

        twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

        The day was young and the sky was clear. As Carrot Cake walked down the street, he could see happy couples going by with smiles on their faces, enjoying their lives like they should.

        twow: “Dude, I banged my daughter last night!”

        Pinkamena: “Really? Well, I scored with my niece!”

        twow: “Cooool.”

Normally he would feel happy for him but for the time being, he felt a bit jealous. He wished he could walk down the street with his wife and be a happy couple as well but now he feared it would never happen again.

Pinkamena: Seeing as how you and your wife want your children, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

        “Did I fuck up?” He muttered quietly to himself as his mind started to reflect upon his lustful acts with his daughter.

        twow: Do I even HAVE to say it?! YES. YOU FUCKING DID!

        After he was done with his daughter his clouded mind started to clear up and he started to realize what he really did to her. He hurt her mentally and physically.

        twow: Yeah, rape is a serious issue.

Pinkamena: So it was after you spermed inside of your daughter that you figured out that you were scum? YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE.

He pushed her innocence away just so he could fulfill his selfish desires because he wasn’t man enough to deal with his wife. Though his mind felt a bit more clear than before, it still felt like it was swirling out of his own control.

        Pinkie: They warned him to not continue to flush the toilet, but noooooo.

How was he going to deal with his life now that was going to end up fucking his daughter daily with false promises of giving her kids?

        twow: With lots of condoms. (smacked by Pinkamena)

        “Richie can help me. He’s always helped me with whatever problem I’ve had.” Carrot continued to talk to himself as he thought of his friend, Filthy Rich, a stallion that had been his long-time friend.

        twow: And father to a complete bitch.

        Pinkie: T!

        twow: I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’ve yet to see a story where I’ve had sympathy for her.

        Pinkie: What about Blu-

        twow: BESIDES THAT.

        Turning his eyes sight from the ground upwards, he quickly noticed he was nearing Filthy’s house. A soft smile appeared on his face as he approached the door and quickly knocked on it.

        Pinkamena: Well, we’ve learned that he knows how to walk and knock on things.

        twow: His ability to walk short distances will be the thing that saves his relationship.

        “One second!” The voice of the aged stallion rang out from behind the oak door. Carrot waited patiently until he heard a lock click along with the door opening.

         “Morning Carrot,” Filthy Rich greeted with a big smile as he saw his on time house guest.

        twow: Ya know, I think Ninja Comma made a return.

        Pinkie: Hopefully he gets paid more this time around.

            “Morning Richie, how’s your morning treating you?’ Carrot Cake replied with a smile as he entered the large house.

        twow: “Having some trouble with my indents, but it’ll be alright.”

            “Can’t complain, it’s still a bit too quiet for my tastes though,” Filthy answered as he closed the door headed towards his dining room table to clean it off for his friend. “How about yours?”

        twow: Wonder what he was doing to have to clean off the table.

        Pinkamena: Probably masterbating.

        twow: ...

        Pinkamena: What? It’s not as bad as the other shit in this!

            “It’s… been interesting,” Carrot answered back giving his forehead a quick rub as he sat down at the table. “I think I've got a problem.”

            “What? Did you clean the bakery and find a rat nest somewhere?” Filthy said to him in a joking manner as he grabbed a nearby bronze ashtray and two cigars.

        twow: “Nah, I was looking for another kind of nest.”

        Pinkie: T! She’s not even old enough to grow hair there!

        twow: Do you all even GROW hair there?!

        Pinkie: Maaaayb-

        twow: Why in the FUCK are we talking about this?!

            Carrot wanted to laugh to try and ease the mood he was in, but he knew it was too serious for that. The only reason he wanted to visit Filthy Rich was too try and put his troubled mind at ease.

        twow: And to hopefully get rid of that extra “O.”

        Pinkie: No doing T. That “O” covered himself up with glue.

            “If only Richie. I rather deal with that then what’s happening at my place.” He said with a sigh. Making his way back to the seat, Filthy knew something big was up with his friend.  

            “Hmm, let’s hear about it.” Filthy asked as he stared at him attentively.

        Pinkamena: “I wonder how long before I can seduce him.”

        twow: “Maybe he’s into hot sauce.”

            “You’re my friend right? As in "good friend who you can tell secrets to and help with" right?” He said hoping he could get a bit of help with his problem he created.

        twow: ♫A true, true friend-♫(smacked by the Mane Six)

        Pinkamena: Should I be impressed, or disturbed?

            “You should know the answer to that; we’ve been friends since we were in school together.” Filthy answered bringing his cigar to his lips. “Have a cigar and relax, Carrot. You sound rather distracted today.” He told him as he grabbed a pack of matches to light up his cigar.

        twow: And then he burned the house down.

        Pinkie: S'mores for everypony!

            “Well, there’s a bit of a problem I’ve started to develop.” Carrot Cake said as he tried to figure out a tactful way to break the news that he had raped his daughter, “You’re a father so I thought I would ask you this.”

twow: Oh, NOW you call it what it is.

Pinkamena: About that, can I ask you something?

twow: Go ahead.

Pinkamena: Pumpkin didn’t seem upset from it. Can it still be called rape?

twow: If Pumpkin had known everything like she should have and still wanted it, no. Her father manipulated the fuck out of her. And I think I have the right to call that rape.        

            “Let’s hear it.” Filthy asked as he took a match and ran it across the back of the match book, lighting it up and bringing it to his cigar. His expression was neutral and very calm as he took a few puffs of the cigar before he pushed the match book towards Carrot.

twow: Thanks for that information. For a second, I thought Filthy’s face actually moved.

        Pinkie: Silly! That would take effort!

            “T-Thanks,” Carrot simply replied as he grabbed his cigar and repeated Filthy’s steps until he was puffing away at his cigar.

            “Anyhow, have…had you ever had…deeper thoughts about your daughter at all?” His worried mind was trying desperately to form a proper sentence.

Pinkamena: Is he really trying to find a proper way to explain that he fucked his daughter?

        twow: Think about that sentence again.

            Filthy’s expression didn’t change considering he had a feeling this conversation would turn up one day.

        Pinkamena: WHAT.

        twow: Fuck just the Cakes, this entire UNIVERSE has issues!

            “Hmm, I’m going to guess that your wife isn’t making you a happy stallion at nights anymore and now you’re turning your daughter for attention.”

            Carrot’s heart skipped a beat as he heard Filthy pretty much hit the nail on the head.

        twow: It wasn’t that hard.

        Pinkie: He used a sledgehammer anyways.

        “Something like that…” Carrot answered back quietly. “Look I…You won’t tell anyone about this conversation right?” Carrot added making sure he wouldn’t risk getting taken away to jail.

            “You think little of me Carrot; remember we’ve been friends forever. I won’t toss you to the guard just because you’re looking to your daughter for attention…unless it’s already worse than that.”

        Pinkamena: Well.

twow: I mean, maybe Carrot’ll be fucked over by his friend? That would actually be kinda funny.

 His neutral expression turned into a frown just from the thought that Carrot was starting to engage in sexual activities with his daughter.

        Pinkie: (gasps) Somepony that thinks this is wrong?

        twow: Abandon fic!

        Pinkie: We ran out of lifeboats!

        twow: Shit!

            “N-No! I’m just-” Carrot quickly tried to collect his thoughts before he ended up saying the wrong thing “It’s something that’s started to show recently.“ His words were a blatant lie however it was something he never discussed with Filthy at all.

            “Carrot, you’re hiding something.” Filthy said as he took the cigar out of his mouth and pointed it at him.

        twow: He’s fidgeting more than a ADHD child hopped up on sugar.

            “I-I’m not! I…fuck, look I’m starting to get attracted to my daughter and worried I’ll break under pressure!”

        twow: Whoa. Human curse words now?

        Pinkamena: I’d mark that as another zero, but this fic already owes US points.

 Carrot knew he wasn’t going to avoid it so he decided to present part of the truth to his friend.

             “Seems I was right then,” Filthy said before a long silence filled the air around them.

        twow: That indent is a bit far.

        Pinkie: It’s trying to break out of the fic and run!

            Carrot couldn’t even look at his friend as he felt his stare looking at him, almost like it was trying to read his mind.

         You still haven’t answered my question. Did you ever look at your daughter and get these... lustful urges?” Carrot asked hoping he could get on the same level as his friend.

        Pinkamena: “It started on a warm summer day.”

        twow: “The day that Ninja Comma left this sentence.”

        “Carrot, you’re my friend right? I trust you aren’t hiding something else from me.” There was a slightly ominous tone in his voice as he spoke.

        Pinkie: “Don’t forget, I do enjoy a slice of carrot cake from time to time.”

        twow: “And I think it’s time to restock my shelves.”

        “Richie, I came to you because you’re my closest friend and this is a very important matter. Why are you getting a bit defensive?” Carrot asked him unsure of why he seemed to be clamming up.

twow: He stole the comma and is desperately trying to think of ways to get you out of the house.

        Filthy looked at him and seemed to be trying to figure out in a way.  Carrot could see his eyes looking at his bow tie from time to time and he wondered what was going through his mind. There was a long silence for a few long seconds but Filthy finally spoke up.

            “It’s alright Carrot. I once had those kinds of thoughts about my daughter.” Filthy said with a sigh as his voice turned into a rather sympathetic one.

        twow: ...as much as I don’t like Diamond, ew.

        Pinkamena: I’m going to feel very unclean around foals because of this story.

            Carrot felt an odd sense of relief as he heard Filth speak to him. Incest was a topic lots of ponies around Ponyville didn’t want to talk about.

            “However they remained just thoughts.” He added taking another puff of his cigar. “I had them after my wife died as you might've guessed.”

        Pinkamena: And finding another mare wasn’t a thought then?

        twow: Hey, as long as he didn’t actually fuck her, he’s better in my eyes then Carrot.

            Carrot’s sense of relief slowly crumbled away however he saw a gap he could jump into to sway the conversation into his favor.

            “It’s been 4 years right? How are you handling it?”

        twow: “The same way I forgot to write out my numbers.”

        Pinkie: “Lots of ice cream.”

Carrot asked with sincere sympathy in his voice.

            “I still miss her, but it’s in the past and I’ve moved on.”

            “Ever thought about finding another mare to spend time with?”

        twow: That’s what I said.

            “Carrot, I’m an aging stallion now. I highly doubt any mares would be interested in me even with me rolling in bits.”

        Pinkamena: And there’s your answer.

            “Hmm, it’s never too late to find someone new to share love with…for you of course! Wouldn't you fear losing your sanity considering your daughter moved in with that pinto pony?” Carrot asked him knowing Filthy was living by himself after his daughter got married and moved into his place nearby.

        twow: So he’s a bachelor. I’m down with that.

        Pinkie: Aren’t you one, T?

        twow: Technically?

            “While I wished she waited a few more years before marriage, it was for the better. However let’s not get side tracked with my life; we were talking about you and me having feelings for our daughters correct?” Filthy said to him as he rested his cigar against the bronze ashtray.

        twow: I’m sure the conversation would have rolled back around to that.

        Pinkamena: Even though we do NOT WANT that.

            “We…” Carrot was starting to wish he never even brought up the conversation and was struggling to get his thoughts together.” Yeah, we were. Were your thoughts ever…sexual at all?”

            Filthy stared quietly at him.

        twow: “No, but I actually want YOU.”

        Pinkie: “AHHHHHHH!”

            “You know, it’s actually very common for fathers to be attracted to their daughters nowadays right? However most of them keep those thoughts in their imagination and don’t ever give in to them.”

        Pinkamena: Aw shit...

        twow: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

        Pinkamena: That Bronystories guy drinks your tears, twow.

            Those words hurt Carrot deeply. Though he was happy to know others shared his plight, he felt like a monster for giving into his selfish desires. While he felt hurt by his friend’s words, he kept a calm face.

        twow: “Nopony knows....the trouble I feel.”

            “It’s hard to deal with those thoughts when your wife doesn’t even touch you anymore at night…” Carrots muttered with a hint of anger in his voice.

        Pinkie: And your apostrophe must be having an affair!

            Filthy paused for a second and knew that she was the root of the problem but felt sorry for the both of them. They were both good ponies and they were perfect for each other. It just was the glaring fact that the twins were a different race that put the wedge between them.

twow: Why?! That’s like my parents breaking up because I’m fucking black! Which I am, BTW.

        Pinkamena: And the issue would be...

        twow: My mom is white, my dad is black. I’m adopted.

        Pinkamena: Makes sense.

            “Have you ever thought about fixing your relationship with Cup? I know you have your doubts about the twins actually being yours but you know Cup would never cheat on you.  Heheh, heck I should know considering I tried to buy her love back when we were teens.”

        Pinkie: You can’t buy love!

        twow: You have to fight for it sometimes. Trust me, I know.

Filthy told him with a bit of laughter as he remembered his youthful days were he had the hots for Cup Cake himself.

            “And I gave you a black eye for trying to bribe her for sex.” Despite what he said, Carrot wasn’t mad at Filthy and in fact they worked around that small part in his life.

twow: Don’t understand why you would have been mad if that happened years ago anyway.

        Pinkie: It’s because it’s gonna be on the test!

        twow: Shit! I gotta study!

            “I was young and I was eager to toss my money at any mare I wanted. I wanted Cup Cake, plain and simple; however she only had eyes for you.” Filthy reached for his cigar to take a quick puff of it and Carrot followed his movements.

            “You once convinced yourself that your kids were yours right? Did you start believing they weren’t?” Carrot heard a faint sadness in his voice as Filthy spoke.

        Pinkamena: Why couldn’t you have just taken it as a miracle?

        twow: Or if it’s that much of an issue, go get a blood test.

            “You know I’ve always believed that. Both are families are mainly earth ponies with the exception of very distant ones. I’m sure you would have your doubts if your wife gave birth to a unicorn and a Pegasus.” Carrot flicked a bit of ash of his cigar before he took another puff of it.

        twow: Shit, if Fluttershy gave birth to an alicorn, I would be fucking HAPPY.

        Pinkie: Ohh, what if it was a changeling?

        twow: I would still treat it as my own.

            “I would, however I would still raise them as mine regardless.” Filthy told him as his face slowly returned to its usual neutral look.

        twow: “Because I’m not a paranoid bitch.”

            “You say that now but do you mean it?” Carrot asked him in a serious manner.

            “Of course, family is still family whether you’re blood related or not.”

            “That’s kind of a foolish thing to say Richie, though I wish I had that same creed.”

            “You say it like it’s too late for that kind of thing.” Filthy said to him.

        Pinkie: I think he’s getting it!

        twow: That plane’s been at Spain for at least four hours already.

            “Maybe it is Richie…” Carrot replied closing his eyes and knowing he dug his own grave thanks to his actions.

        Pinkamena: And I got the shovel to beat you in.

            “Just talk to your wife and try to reconcile with her. I know a good marriage counselor in Manehattan I could set you up with.” Filthy said to him as he took his cigar and smothered it out in the ashtray.

twow: Seeing as how Filthy is denser than a blond Rainbow in the Winningverse, I think that Carrot’ll be fine.

            “I…” Carrot was starting to lose it. He thought trying to talk to his friend would help put his troubled mind at ease but he knew the truth would get out eventually. “Shit, Richie I…got a confession to make to you.”

        Pinkie: “I’ve been spying on humans.

        twow: “So that’s how you know all these weird words!”

            “Hmm, seems I’m turning into a reverend now.” He chuckled as he crossed his hooves and rested them on the table.

            “I don’t think a marriage counselor will fix what I did. I…I fucked up this morning.”

        twow: Before, or after the incest?

            Filthy didn’t change his expression and wondered what Carrot was going to admit to, however considering the conversation, he had a sinking feeling.

        Pinkie: And he ate tiny holes in the lifeboats.

             “I…I broke and…I had sex with my daughter!” Hearing his confession, Filthy said nothing and stared at him.

        twow: Does he do ANYTHING but stare?!

        Pinkie: He might have beaten me in staring at that wall!

 “I…I couldn’t help it. I…I accidentally walked in on her showering and everything just went to shit then!” Again, he forced the words out but also felt relieved to get his burden off his chest. “It wasn’t rape! She…actually consented to it…in a way.”

        twow: (twitches)

        Pinkamena: You’re going to blow, aren’t you?

        twow: Mt. Vesuvius ain’t gonna have nothing compared to this.

            “In a way?” Filthy said to him not letting his tone waver at all.

            “I…may have stretched the truth about sex with her a bit…” Carrot was sweating bullets and becoming very nervous.

        twow: A BIT?

        Pinkamena: Relax. You can rage after the chapter.

 Filthy wasn’t taking his eyes off of him but that lack of surprise or even hate in his voice worried him. He was sure he was going to lunge at him any second and strangle him for being a pedophile.

        Pinkamena: Can I do it?

        twow: We’ll get AJ’s rope from Fallen. He won’t mind.

            “Was it the first time?” Filth asked still not changing his neutral tone.

            “It was. I…thought I would be happy to find affection in her, but…walking here I felt ashamed of myself and what I did...this is why I was seeing if you ever had the same problem with Diamond Tiara.”

        twow: “She was like a diamond in the sky.”

        Pinkie: No song?

        twow: Lost the will to sing.

        Filthy went silent and stared at him quietly but something in Carrot’s mind scared him about how he was staring at him. Without a word Filthy got out of his seat and Carrot feared for the worst.

        twow: Filthy couldn’t take the indents and the lack of Ninja Comma anymore.

        Pinkie: He was closing in for the kill.

        “So that’s how it is…” Filthy said to him as he started to walk towards him.

        “Richie what are you-”

        Carrot was cut off as Filthy quietly approached him without any warning Filthy rose to his hindlegs and pushed Carrot to the floor.

        Pinkamena: What, is he gonna rape Carrot now? What the hell is going on?!

twow: “I like my carrot cake nice and rich, but not when it’s all filthy!” (brained by Pinkamena)

        "Alright, where's the wire?" Filthy said, as he knocked Carrot Cake to the ground, "Am I supposed to speak into your bow tie? I thought we were friends. Don’t play with me!"

        “Grah! Richie what are you doing!?” Carrot shouted as his head hit the wooden floors board. "What wire? What are you talking about!?"

twow: “The wire that I choke you with!”        

        “How much did they pay you!? How long have they known!?” Filthy rose his hoof up in the air ready to strike his friend in case his worst fear had come to pass.

        twow: Little did he know that it had.

        Pinkie: Ninja Comma sold him out.

        “Richie I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Carrot screamed as he covered his face to shield himself from the impending strike.

        Filthy went quiet as he continued to stare at his friends face. He could see the fear and confusion on it and knew he wasn’t spying on him. Even though he saw his confusion he had to be a bit more careful.

        twow: Yeah, seeing as how you almost brained the motherfucker.

        "Sorry," Filthy Rich said, "Just a precaution. You can never be too careful. I didn't get where I am by being Sloppy."

        Pinkie: You were doing so well!

        twow: (facepalm)

        "Who?" Carrot Cake asked.

        "Sloppy Rich," Filthy said, "My careless cousin. His business was repossessed when the authorities caught him cooking the books."

        "I see, what was his business?" Carrot Cake asked him.

        twow: Illegal sex tapes of Princess Celestia and Big Macintosh.

        Pinkie: Those are really rare!

        twow: O_O That was a JOKE!

        “Not important. Let’s return to our seated positions shall we?” Filthy quickly got off of Carrot and offered him a hoof to pull him up. Carrot was a bit nervous to do so but that cold feeling he had before was gone.

        “You’re not going to attack me anymore are you?”

        twow: “No. Now spread them.”

        Pinkamena: I’d hit you, but I could see this story pulling that.

        “As long as you’re not hiding anything.”

        “Richie, I’m not hiding anything, hell I came to you because I thought you could help me with my…problem.” Carrot told him still not sure about reaching out for his hoof.

        “Like I said, Just a precaution. Come on get yourself up.” This time Filthy didn’t wait for him to reach out, instead he grabbed his hoof and pulled him to his feet.

        Pinkamena: And then knocked him down again.

        twow: Shh, that’s what WE want to do.

        "So," Filthy Rich said, with an ominous smile as he turned back for his chair, "What were you saying about your daughter?"

        twow: Filthy has the memory of a half-dead goldfish.

        Pinkamena: That’s been sniffing paint.

        Carrot was still confused by his actions and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue the conversation with him. He wanted to stop but there was something that pushed him to talk to Filthy about his problem. Pulling his chair up, he resumed his seated position.

        Pinkie: BONUS QUESTION!

        twow: AH! I gotta put it in my notes!

        “I was talking about how I…had sex with my daughter. I just don’t know how I feel about it.”

            “Hmm, you love your children right?” Filthy asked him.

            “It’s…complicated for me. I love them, but I don’t fully love them like a father should. I mean…Fuck, how do I describe this…I love them but I would love them more if they were born without wings or a horn.”

        twow: I think I figured it out. Carrot is a racist bastard. AGAINST HIS OWN CHILDREN.

        Pinkamena: That...that’s a thing now.

        twow: Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to rock bottom.

          “I see…Why haven’t you ever got a paternity test? I hear they got those up in Canterlot.” Filthy asked a bit puzzled to why Carrot never bothered to do so.

        twow: That’s what I said.

        Pinkamena: No rage?

        twow: Nah.

        “I…was scared and I didn’t want Cup Cake to think I thought she was cheating on me. It was either she starts panicking and start calling me a bad husband because of that or that she would break down because she did cheat on me.” Carrot leaned forward and rested his head into his hooves.

        twow: You aren’t really in a good spot now.

        Pinkie: Might as well take the test.

“Now I fear if I get a test and find out they’re actually mine…What then? I fucked my daughter because I thought she wasn’t. I don’t know how I’ll live with myself if she is actually mine…” Carrot said fully coming into terms with his deeds.

        twow: No you aren’t! Even if she’s not your daughter by blood, she’s still your fucking daughter!

        “So you decided to remain ignorant to the facts and now you’re just down right scared?” Filthy refused to change his tone with him. “Carrot, I thought you were smarter than this.”

        Pinkamena: So did I.

        twow: We both know that this is evil OOC Carrot.

            “You…you think I’m a sick pony don’t you…” Carrot felt his friends stare starting to pierce his mind in hopes for finding answers for the issues that were just brought up to him. He began to worry that he would disown him, kick him out, and call the cops for what he did. His life would be ruined and he would lose everything he worked hard in his life for.

        twow: I bet my fucking LIFE that none of this is about to happen.

        “Actually no, this brings something really interesting up.” Filthy’s tone started to change into a tone Carrot wasn’t very familiar with.

        twow: OF COURSE.

        Pinkie: Now your entire necklace is glowing red. Again.

        “What is it?”

        “I played stupid for a bit I’ll admit, but since you took the large step and confessed your little secret I think I can stop my little game.” Carrot started to notice a smile start to appear on the face of his friend and continued to wonder what he was about to tell him.

        Pinkamena: “I was just kidding. I’m sending your ass to jail.”

        twow: God, the smile on my face if we see that...

        “Remember when I said most are fathers attracted to their daughters nowadays and most of them keep those thoughts like that?”

        “Yes?”

        twow: I’m not going to quickly forget that.

        Pinkamena: It’s a little hard too.

        “Well what if I told you a small group of ponies in this very town has gone past that line

        twow: What.

and into that area of depravity like you did?

        twow: WHAT.

        Pinkie: No, T!

 What if that group was run by yours truly?

        twow: WHAT.

        Pinkamena: Don’t break on me now. I mean it.

 Would you believe me?”

        “Is this some kind of joke?” Carrot thought Filthy was just pulling his leg so he could turn it around and laugh at him in the end.

        Pinkie: Pleasepleasepleaseplease...

        twow: Why are you...

        Pinkie: Because I know what you’ll do if it isn’t a joke.

        “Do you think I would lie about this? It’s the reason why I got defensive and attacked you in the first place.” Filthy said to him in the most serious tone Carrot ever heard.

        twow: (quietly stares at the screen, then stands up and walks away.)

        Pinkie: T! Come back!

        Dash (from TV) He...he’s not coming back over here.

        Pinkamena: Then how the hell are we going to finish this?

        Dash: I’ll help.

        “That explains your sudden shift in behavior.” Carrot replied rubbing the back of his head in response.

        “Again I’m sorry; however I think I can make it up to you. Tell you what, come back tonight around midnight and you see for yourself.”

        Dash: “Bring the Daring Do.”

        Pinkie: “God HELP you if you don’t bring Daring Do!”

        “But what about my problem? How am I going to face my kids when I get…oh fuck…” Carrot was a bit confused to why Filthy was bringing this up but at the thought of his kids, he forgot about Pound Cake.

        Dash: How do you forget about your other child?!

        Pinkamena: He was lost in the moment of being a horrible father.

        “What is it?” Filthy asked him.

        “W-What if Pound Cake heard me and Pumpkin doing it?”

        “Then he would have most likely confronted Pumpkin about it afterwards.” Filthy said cutting in front of Carrot’s words. “I’m guessing you didn’t lock the door right?”

        Pinkamena: Course not. He was a little busy.

        Dash: And the lock broke on purpose.

        “I…no, I didn’t.”

        “Bad form on your part friend. Hmmm, this could be a problem now. I may have to put off our little meeting tonight if this is the case. Seems you need to do a bit of damage control instead.” Filthy’s tone started to return to its once neutral state as he spoke.

        Dash: Sheesh. The story makes him out to be a robot.

        Pinkie: GIVE ME YOUR EMOTIONS.

        “I want you to head home and figure out a way to fix your mess in case he did hear the both of you.” Filthy’s tone changed into one of a frantic officer trying to give out orders in a rushed fashion. “If you can fix everything by tonight then return like I asked. If not then I’ll know you’re most likely on your way to jail. If it’s the latter then I can’t help you.”

        Pinkamena: If it’s the latter, then justice has been served.

        Dash: Not if it’s a jury of his peers.

        “I highly doubt you could save me regardless. I…I know rape and incest are high crimes and no amount of money will save me from rotting in jail.” Carrot said a bit scared of what will happen when he gets home.

        Dash: No amount of anything would keep us from killing you.

        Pinkamena: twow would go through both Princesses to slit his throat at this point.

        “Before you go. Me and you never had this talk alright?” Filthy told him just before Carrot made an attempt to rise from his seat.

        “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? What’s got you so spooked Richie?” Carrot asked as he slowly got out of his seat.

        Dash: Did you just miss the entire conversation you just had? None of it was legal!

        Pinkie: He’s a goldfish.

        Dash: But yet, he’s not smiling back.

        “You’ll find out if you come back tonight. Now hurry back home and talk to your kids before something bad happens.”

        “Alright. Hopefully I’ll be back tonight.” Carrot said as he turned for the door and exited the house.

        Pinkamena: Not before you meet Mr. Knife Blade.

        Dash: And his wife, Mrs. Stone Tomb.

        Pinkamena: A lovely couple indeed.

        As the door closed, silence filled the house. Filthy didn’t move from his seat and only thought about what was in store for his friend if he was to return.

        “Hmm…” Filthy said quietly to himself after his friend left. “Hopefully our little group will get an extra member tonight. A filly like Pumpkin would be a great benefit to us.” Filthy finished saying as a sinister grin slowly showed up on his face.

        Dash: ...

        Pinkamena: ...

        Dash: Should we...?

        Pinkamena: Yes. Right now.

Dash: Wow. That chapter didn’t even have clop. And it was STILL horrible.

Pinkamena: It’s like it’s doing everything it can to shock the hell out of the readers.

Dash: Either that, or to make a horrible version of Equestria even worse.

Pinkamena: At this rate, it’s going to turn into Blueblood.

Dash: (shudders)

twow: (calmly sits back down)

Pinkamena: Are you any bet-(hugged by twow)

twow: Thank you.

Pinkamena: For?

twow: Being here.

Pinkie: (mane poofing back up) Of course. You’re my friend.

twow: Yeah. And thank you Dash.

Dash: Eh. I try. Want me to let you two out?

Pinkie: T, can we just stay in here for a while? I’m kinda...(yawns and passes out next to twow)

twow: Her brain is starting to overload because of the emotion switching.

Dash: Will she be okay?

twow: Yeah. I’ll make sure of it. We’ll catch you later, Dash.

(Dash hits the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)        

mike hubbard:

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