"I hate Mondays..." I grumbled, staring into my custom made coffee mug. Since, you know, ponies don't have the ones I'm used to.

"I know the feeling, dear." Cheerilee sighed from next to me, taking a long swig. "But I still get to see my wonderful students, so it doesn't really matter!" God, how can she be so damn chipper? Sure, she loves teaching, but IT'S MONDAY!

"We have about an hour before we need to get to the school." I said, looking at my watch. Cheerilee grinned at me.

"I think I know a way to spend a few minutes." She purred, placing her hooves into my lap in a non-painful way.

[Half an hour later]

Cheerilee wiped her mouth free of any white liquids and smiled at me as I wiped my face clean of her juices.

"You're still able to last longer than any stallion I've dated." She said as I rebuckled my belt.

"As I've told you before; same time as my wife." I answered, fixing my hair while looking in the mirror. As I finished, I noticed that I need to shave again. "You should get going; I need to shave and that'll take ten minutes or so." I told her, digging through my toiletries kit to find my straight razor. I'm not like Mark or Callum; I don't bring the damn thing with me in a boot. Not like I need to kill somebody with it, that's what the spare magazine (which holds actual bullets) taped to the inside of my BDUs is for.

Only cut myself once.

"Rick, is that you?" Cheer called when I finally got to the school house, she was at the blackboard writing down the days lesson. "Would you mind going to the supply closet and bring in a spare desk?"

"Um, sure," I said as I jogged down the hall and retrieved said desk. "Any reason for this?"

"You missed it," Cheerilee told me as I put the desk down, she was now going though a stack of graded papers onto her desk. "I bumped into Mark on the way in, and he told me that I would have a new student today."

"Who is it?" I asked, looking over a clay bullet before shrugging to myself before putting it into the spare magazine I used while in the classroom.

"A close 'friend' of Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo." She answered, frowning a little. "Poor colt's probably going to be very embarrassed for the first few days."

"He'll be fine." I assured my wife, before sliding the magazine in and chambering a round. With a flick of my thumb, the safety was put on. "Remember; I was nervous my first week or so. And the kids love me now."

"True, but this is going to be slightly different." She eyed my machine gun before shaking her head.

"Different how?"

"Different as in you and I." she answered cryptically. I hate it when she does that.

I was still mulling her response when I took my usual chair in the back of the room. The school bell (an old school bell, mind you) rang, signifying the start of the day for the young'uns. They all generally filed in, greeting Cheerilee and I, before taking their seats. The Crusaders came in last, as per usual, and Apple waved to me as she flittered past and took a seat next to Sweetie.

All the while Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon snickered and whispered amongst themselves.

"Is everypony seated?" Cheer stepped before her students, the entire class becoming quiet. "Before we begin, I have a special announcement, today we are getting a new student, Jonathan?" As she spoke, a colt that looked exactly like Sweetie Bell stepped into the room.

Now, I'm not an expert on ponies or anything, but families generally don't look exactly the same. So I knew something was fishy but didn't say anything… but then I didn't need to.

"What in Celestia's name?" Diamond Tiara barked out in surprise the moment she saw the colt. "Miss Cheerilee, why does he look like Sweetie?"

"Diamond, you can ask him all the questions you want during lunch," once again giving a knowing smile. "But for now we need to make some room for our new student. In order to do that we will be making some changes to our seating chart." Cheer said as she waved a hoof to the new desk. "Pipsqueak, you will be moving here."

"Yes!" the little palomino pumped his hoof before gathering his things, "Now I don't have to put up with Diamond always kicking the back of my seat!"

"I do not!"

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, you two will be moving up one desk each." Cheerilee announced as Pip quickly stepped passed her to take his new seat. "Jonathan, you will be taking Silver Spoons old desk which is right across from Scootaloo and in front of Apple Bloom."

"Johnnie."

"Come again?" Cheerilee blinked as she looked to the colt.

"I like to be called Johnnie," he said as he slowly made his way down the middle isle towards his desk.

"Very well, Johnnie," my Cheerilee nodded as she made a notation in her books. "And if you need any help during today's lesson, ask Scoots or one of your fellow Crusaders."

"So not only does he look like mini-marshmallow over there, but he's already part of their screwy club." Diamond Tiara sneered at Sweetie Belle. "By the moon, they are like cooties!" she turned to the rest of the class. "Listen up everypony, you might lose your cutie marks if any of them touch you, and then you will be forced to join them." And that's why I want to shoot this bitch so bad, everyone!

"Diamond Tiara," Cheerilee scolded, the filly's mouth snapping shut instantly. "You keep this up and I'll be sending a letter to your father."

"Sorry Miss Cheerilee…"

"Wait, Johnnie looks like a boy version of Sweetie," Sugar Twist suddenly blurted out.

"I think we can all see that," Dinky said with a roll of her eyes.

"That's not what I meant, Dinky," Twist gave out a frustrated groan before pointing a hoof at me… "Johnnie is just like Mr. Duran…"

"Like me," I was a bit dismayed on that one until it all clicked. Some of us could, thanks to Mark and his joke powder, shift into the male equivalent of our respected lovers (or other, in the case of Gallan, Callum, Mark, and Blake). So that would mean that Johnnie was Sweetie Bell's… oh shit.

"What does that mean?" Snails scratched his head in confusion.

"It means that Johnnie and Sweetie Belle are lovers," Diamond said, then froze as her eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. Slowly she turned in her seat to regard the new colt. "Are you and her… mates?"

"Our herd never kisses and tells." Scoots suddenly blurted out.

"HERD?!"

And chaos erupted throughout the classroom. And it was beautiful, since my job pretty much revolves around keeping the chaos in check.

Next Chapter: School 2 of 2 Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 13 Minutes