When we got back to Ponyville, it was about five o'clock (wibbily wobbly timey wimey). I had enough time to do one more thing before retiring to bed, and I took that opportunity.

"Ok Johnnie-boy, why don't we start at the beginning," I sighed as I sat down across from the young lad ten minutes later.

"Er…" slowly the teen glanced around the packed living room of the Apple family farm house, a nervous twitch showing in his eyes. To his left sat Sweetie Belle, her irate sister Rarity and their father Magnum, a white earth pony sporting a mustache and three American footballs as his cutie mark (I swear to god he's a pony version of Tom Selleck's Magnum PI, he even had on an Hawaiian flowered shirt). Before him paced a seething AJ while the entire Apple family sat calmly around the room, Judy was the only one not here for she was off looking after Applespice. And finally off to his right was Schmidt, Sparklebutt and Scootaloo.

"Stop looking at them, and pay attention to me," I had to raise my voice to get the boy to acknowledge me. "Now tell me what happened."

"Yesterday I was plugging away at my steel horse… er," he faltered when Applejack spun around and gave him a death glare.

"It was a name that some gave to the motorcycle in the early 1900's," I said, reaching out and calmed my love. "While an iron horse refers to the railroad steam engine, just so you know."

"Anyhow, that Dawn guy cast a spell so as my bike don't need no gas, so I was test running it about town," he said, and I was quickly reminded that the teen was from a whole different century than me and that some of his speech pattern and mannerisms were… off. "I was just wondering what to do with the gas tank when these three fillies asked what I was doing."

"When they found out what I was doing, they asked to help, trying to see if they could get their motorcycle repair cutie marks… or something like that." Johnnie continued, his eyes still on the ever grumbling AJ. "In fact it was Bloom who suggested turn it into a fresh water tank so I could have drinking water with me wherever I go."

"Yup," Applebloom smiled brightly. "Ah also said he should take his bike to that Max feller and have shocks put on it, to smooth out the ride."

"Applebloom…" AJ warned, hushing the filly.

"After they helped me out, they asked if I could give them all rides," the teen went on. "so I gave each a once around Ponyville, and while the other two were excited with the ride, it was Scoots that really popped… er, really had fun."

"It was totally fantastic," she squee'd, an enthusiastic glint flashing over her face. "the wind whipping through my mane and wings… it was almost as awesome as flying with Rainbow Dash… almost but not quite!"

I tried to ignore the shiver that jumped up I spine at the mentioning of Dash. It had been several weeks and that damn dream was still haunting me, goddammit.

"Later, after the rides, they asked about my life back home, so I told them about the family farm, growing corn and razing dairy cows." Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught Big Mac whisper something to Granny, getting a slow nod in response. "But things really got interesting when I told them about the tree house me 'n my brothers built one summer. After that they insisted I see their club house and once there, join the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"And that's where 'n they got their hooves in yah, huh?" The three fillies shrank under the gaze of Applejack. "So who's idea was it to coral this here colt into making a herd pact?"

After considering their track record over the past 5 years, no one was prepared for… "Sweetie Belle?!" Rarity gasped out, both her front hooves grasping at her heart in over exaggerated shock. "Why would you do such a horrible thing?"

Odd how Magnum only reacted after Rarity's outburst. Silently, he rolled his eyes while putting a reassuring hoof on his youngest daughter's shoulder. I kinda liked their father now.

"Oh come off it Rarity! Have you even been paying attention to what's going on out outside your boutique?" Scoots scoffed. "There is a severe lack of stallions out in the world and not every mare is going to get one…"

"Yeah, just look at our class at school," Applebloom added. "There's around 18 of us in our grade and only three are colts."

"Pipsqueak is out to become a Night Guard, and I'm not even going to think of dating Snips or Snails, yuck!" Sweetie stuck out her tongue in disgust. "So if we want a stallion of our own, we had to think outside the box." Even if their methods were rather unorthodox compared to human's methods, I had to give them at least a little bit of props for what they did.

"Ok, ok… now that we know how it happened, and why." I finally sighed before turning towards the others gathered. "Let's hear from the adults… and by that, I mean the parents of the fillies." I cut Rarity off before she could say a thing. "No offence, of course."

"While we, Schmit and myself, are acting guardians for Scootaloo," Twilight said while taking a deep breath. "We also have to take into account that she is at that age where she will stop looking at colts as more then friends, and start thinking of dating."

"Well, Ah fer one ain't standin…"

"Applejack," all eyes turned towards the old mare as she stepped up to examine the teen up close. "Ah raised yah, Mac, and Bloom after your ma 'n pa left this world… so Ah'll be the one to judge."

"Yes'um Granny…" AJ relented. I scratched behind her left ear, causing her to twinge in amusement.

"Now then youngin, yah will'en to work hard and take good care of our lil' Applebloom?" she asked, eyeing the teen closely. If AJ was the element of honesty and could tell when someone lied to her, Granny Smith was the one she got that talent from. I know for a goddamn fact I wasn't ever going to lie to her, and that's mostly because I respect her. That and she'd figure out that I was lying. "And yah promise no hanky-panky until her first season?"

"Yes'um," he nodded before catching himself. "But… Wait… Season!?"

"Then Ah approve, but Ah will also be watchin, so behave." she gave a knowing smile and shot a wink towards Bloom and mouthed the words, 'have fun'.

"While your mother and I are every open minded," Magnum took his turn before the jury. "I find myself needing something more… oh I don't know, a sign that this is a good idea."

"I think we can give you that sign," I chuckled, a wicked smile forming. "Johnnie-boy, if you wouldn't mind shifting?"

"What, here, now," Johnnie flinched back as all eyes looked to him.

"Yes, here and now." My grin only got scarier.

"Mark honey," Applejack blinked in wonder. "What's going on?"

"Just watch…" I said.

Taking a calming breath, John stood and concentrated… and before anyone could react, there stood the colt version of Sweetie Belle. Surprising me was the fact that nobody got flashbang'd. "Gosh-darn, this is embarrassing," he sighed darkly, taking a moment to pull his fluffy lilac colored tail up between his back legs.

"OH MY… That's sooo COOL!" Scoots shouted.

"He's turn'in red," Applebloom giggled happily.

"Well I think he's absolutely adorable," Rarity broke down and cooed.

"By Celestia," Sweetie gasped as she bounded over to Johnnie and poked at his rump. "Look, he doesn't have a cutie mark… He is one of us!"

'One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. Fuck you mini-marshmallow, I got that chant stuck in my head!'

"Works for me," Magnum chuckled as he watched the other two girls mob the poor colt. After a moment, I clinked my scotch bottle against the table, causing everyone to pause and look at me.

"Alright. Now that approval's out of the way, it's time for punishments." I said, looking straight at Johnnie. He gulped and shrank back a little. "Johnnie, for punishment of being an idiot and not reading what you sign, you're to stay as your pony form until I say otherwise. The only time you're allowed to go human again is to do your job, since Callum and Ditzy Doo have told me they hired you." He sighed and nodded, sitting himself down on the ground.

"As for you three, your punishments go to your elders." I told the other three. Magnum, Schmidt, and Granny nodded, pulling the fillies away to talk to them separately.

"Now..." I sighed, looking at the scotch. "I think I still got my shot glass somewhere in my pocket. Apple?"

'Here.' She popped her head out of the super pocket, my custom made shotglass in her fangs. Rarity recoiled in shock from seeing a changeling's head pop out of nowhere.

"How old is that?" Twilight asked out of curiosity, noting that the bottle wasn't even close to any civilization's making.

"If I had to guess, I'd say 1.75 billion years old." I said with a grin. "Wonder what it'd do to Luna... Her birthday's coming up, right?"

"Yes." Twilight confirmed with a nod. "How did that bottle survive for so long?"

"I gave it to myself!" I chirped, carefully opening it and pouring the liquid into the glass. At her deadpan stare I let out a chuckle. "My future self died in the past, from what I gathered. One of the things he left me was this scotch, which quite frankly I'm surprised it still exists. The other was instructions on what to do with the Vault those archeologists uncovered." I forgot to tell Sunbutt; boy she's gonna be pissed. Eh. I put the stopper back into the bottle and drank my scotch.

"If aneh of ya'll sdhrink my booze... I'ma castrate ya'll with the bunt end o' me trench knife.." I slurred, before falling unconscious.

Give me a goddamn break, it's 1.75 billion year old scotch!

Next Chapter: School 1 of 2 Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 18 Minutes