"Alright, this shit ends now." I said, shooting the graying Element of Harmony bearers, aside from Dash, with a shotgun. The effect was instantaneous; all four of them dropped, clutching various body parts in pain as rubber pellets gently bounced off. They were playing keep away with Twilight, the item they were throwing was the book about the Elements of Harmony.

Fat load of fucks it's doing right now.

"Start reading the damn thing before they get back up!" I barked at Twilight, crouching next to her at the same time as Spike, who wielded a rolled up scroll. The others trained their weapons on the grey ponies to keep them immobile, but I knew that none of them would deliberately shoot them, even if I ordered them to. Knock them the fuck out, yes, but not kill.

"Mark, can you hear me?" Dawn's voice cracked out over the radio Schmidt still wore for some reason.

"Loud and clear." I replied as Twilight found the fucking jewelry exactly where I knew it would be.

"Took a look at the Black Hawk and fixed it. Smith's fully healed, and..." He was cut off by some muttering in Russian, to which he replied in kind. "Anyway, the woman's name is Jane Shepard. She's...er... Infatuated with me, and even though I'm not human, I kinda feel the same." He got really hesitant at the end.

"Good for you, but we just found the Elements. Does she know how to fly a helicopter?" I asked, watching as Twilight forced everything onto their respective bearers.

"That's a negative. Really good at sniping and using that katana of her's, though." He replied, causing me to sigh and hang up.

"C'mon everypony, let's go!" Twilight growled, stalking out the door with Spike following. Soon enough, he got plastered with Dash's necklace. Duffy stopped and looked him dead in the eye, causing him to sweat a little.

"We're through, Rainbow Dash." He said with a completely straight face, before about-facing and grinning at me.

'Mien Gott, I've almost never seen him grin before.' I thought with a chuckle, shaking my head. I wasn't paying attention to anything, which probably justifies getting 'Tom' on my foot, which, by the way, hurts like all fucking hell.

"Son of a bitch!" I growled, doing my best to drag my crushed foot out from underneath the boulder. Twilight looked horrified, due to tossing it out of one of the windows. Gallan held onto my leg while the others started pushing it, and no thanks to the fucked up Elements watching behind us. As I was freed, a flash of light appeared and for once in my life, somebody didn't slam into me. Instead, Schmidt was tackled to the ground and I fucking saw a combat knife appear out of nowhere.

"STOP!" I shouted, aiming my M1911 (sidearm edition) at him, as the safeties of several weapons were flicked off at the same time. The first actual thought that ran through my head pretty much summed up what I noticed about the new guy.

'Not another fucking sniper... Nice fiddy, though.' I thought, before groaning at the pain of my crushed foot. For some reason, he withdrew off of Schmidt and supported my weight, surprising all of us.

"I'm going to go get him to a hospital... Finish whatever you all were doing before this." He said, while I nodded in confirmation, causing them to back off as I limped my raggedy ass out of there supported by this sniper.

"So, what's your name, rank, and military branch?" I asked as I half led him towards the hospital, hoping to Dawn (closest thing that I'll hope to that's a god) that Discord hasn't fucked with it yet.

"First Lieutenant Bill Murray of the US Navy SEALs." He replied, and I instantly held high fucking respect for him. SEALs training is tough shit. Really tough shit. Like, multiple brick-shitting tough.

"General Mark Durnkinscoff of the USMC and more recently the EM. Used to be an EOD specialist before popping here." I replied.

"What's the situation, sir?" Bill asked, looking around as several ponies looked out of their windows in fear, but it wasn't directed at us.

"Select humans who died have appeared here for reasons unknown. I just happened to be the first, and one of the rulers hates us, one is smitten with a paratrooper, and a third recently hooked up with what I think was either Spetznas, or Canadian Special Forces." I said. "You're... fuck, I think the tenth or so? Alive, anyway. Had a few Rangers appear in a humvee, and only two arrived without bullet holes covering their bodies."

"What do you mean by that?" He questioned, and I figured out why he kept asking me these questions; to keep my mind from drifting to the pain in my mangled ass foot.

"The person, or rather pony, who brought them here couldn't figure out why, but guessed that there were some bullets going into them just when they disappeared, so when they came here, the bullets finished their travel and stopped in their torsos." I explained. "Our medic, who's in the capital treating a Blackhawk pilot, arrived with bullets fired out of an MG42, and bleeding out."

"An MG42 is a WWII machine gun, isn't it?" Bill asked.

"Yep. We're spanning across several generations of soldiers. Oldest one out of all of us is Gallan, Schmidt, Thompson, or Williams. They came in from WWII. From what I can guess, Thompson or Schmidt take the cake of being the first technical casualty out of all of us."

"When did they die?" He asked as we arrived at the (thankfully) intact hospital, pushing open the doors.

"Schmidt was at Stalingrad for a few months, while Thompson died during D-Day." I replied, waving Nurse Redheart over. Between her and Bill, I had no problems getting to a room to get my foot unfucked.

[Duran's POV]

"Alright, since nobody else stood up for it, I'll assume command until Mark gets back." I declared, cocking my M16.

"And what makes you so sure I'd allow that, Master Sargeant?" Blake asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you want to take the reins on this, fine by me." I replied, looking around.

"Just wondering." Blake said. "You're not with an Element, so it'll be easier for you to effectively lead us. I'm allowing this until I deem it necessary to take control."

"Yes, SIR!" I said with a salute, followed by his British one. Always got on my nerves, but I kept my retort down and looked around at the rest of us.

"Alright, fan out and find Discord so we can fuck him up with the Elements." I said to everyone. They all spread out except for Duffy, who tapped my shoulder from behind me.

"We need Dash for them to work." He said, probably scanning the skies. I know I was.

"I know. Let Twi think this'll work until it backfires in her face, unless we can find Dash first. Be good if we had air support, but the only thing remotely helpful is in Canterlot at the moment." I sighed.

"This is Viper 1, heard you boys needed some help." A voice that I barely recognized came over Schmidt's radio, causing me to scramble to reply.

"Williams? Is that you?!" I asked.

"The one and only. Duran, right? Where's Mark?" Williams replied.

"Right behind him." Mark said, carefully taking the radio from me. "How the fuck are you able to fly that thing?"

"Dawn went risky and decided to copy everything about this bird from Smith's mind and put it in mine, seeing as how we all knew that Dash betrayed her Element." Williams replied as Mark handed me his shotgun, still using rubber pellets.

"Alright. Get Duran and Callum in the sky and see if you can't find Dash and bring her in. Duran's gonna have to shoot her to bring her down, so be sure you can get her." Mark advised.

"That won't be a problem, sir!" Williams shouted from behind us, scaring the crap out of us. We turned around to see him smirking from a completely silent helicopter.

"Jesus Christ..." I muttered as I waved Callum on board, sitting on the edge myself.

"You have one shot, so make it count." Mark said before we lifted off.

"How the hell did'ja get this thing silent?" Callum asked as we scanned the clouds for a rainbow maned pegasus.

"Dawn did, actually." Williams replied. "Made the rotors and engine silent and fuel independent. Never has to refuel and is completely good for the environment."

"Is that her?" I asked, pointing at a cyan pegasus napping on a cloud.

"Yea. Go in slowly and if we do this right, we won't have to shoot her." Callum whispered, and Williams edged the Blackhawk as close to Dash as he could. Naturally, that ended up with her small ass cloud in between us, and we had about a hundred feet of rappelling rope to tie her up with.

[Mark's POV]

"Now we have to wait for Rainbow Dash..." Twilight muttered as she preformed a memory magnets trick on Fluttershy, who instantly made sure my foot was a hundred and ten percent better once her coat returned to its normal color.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for what I did to you!" She cried out, whimpering. "Please don't hate me..."

I simply smiled and ran my hand through her hair while looking at Applejack. She looked back and smiled, before noticing my pocket changeling (not really surprised Apple could do this) and scowled, looking away.

"You guys need to talk to Applejack about her hatred towards changelings, but do it later." I muttered to Fluttershy, who meekly nodded.

"Where are they?" Pinks asked, hopping around. As if on cue (with Pinkie Pie, it's a very real possibility), the Black Hawk arrived and landed with dust swirling around, blinding everyone except me.

"Help me with her, dammit! She's struggling too much!" Duran shouted, causing me to run forward.

"Fucking shoot her then!" I yelled back.

"Sorry, Duffy." Callum called out before the blast of a shotgun sounded, followed by a yelp of pain.

"Fucker! You completely missed!" Duran yelled at Callum as I dragged Rainbow's grey ass out of there and dropped her in front of Twilight. She flopped like a fish while yelling at all of us to let her go.

"Nice hog tying skills, you two." I commented as Twilight did her thing, before bending down and releasing her with a careful slash of my energy sword.

"Now, to find Discord and stop him once and for all!" Twilight yelled after a brief group hug. We nodded, and looked around.

"...So, where is he?" Fluttershy finally asked. An explosion that sounded oddly similar to a hand grenade sounded, and Anon sighed.

"Follow the exploding chocolate milk." He said. "He's on his throne. C'mon, I know where it is." He walked off, and we followed because we had no other ideas.

We found Discord sipping the glass off of a glass of chocolate milk, before letting out a content sigh and tossing what looked like frozen chocolate milk behind him. Knew what that explosion was, now.

"Oh, you managed to get the Elements back!" Discord said, and a twin bullet report followed by a little of his arm rest and half of the back of his throne flying away told all of us that Duffy and Murray had just fired warning shots. We all proceeded to train our guns on him, ready to turn his ass into grass should he try anything.

"Get the fucker before his ass becomes grass, Twilight." I called out, keeping out of the way of their Rainbow of Awesome. As soon as they got into position, they all glowed and the tidal wave of shitstorm sped towards Discord.

"One last trick!" He cackled as he started turning to stone before snapping his fingers, causing somebody to bowl over Callum and Duran. There was a few yelps of pain as somebody in fucking plate armor skidded to a stop. There was a sword, mace, crossbow, and a shield lying around him, and his helmet was still on, surprisingly.

"Discord's final act..." I muttered, checking the pulse on the knight to make sure he's still alive.

"...was bringing an actual knight to Equestria." With that, I walked off to move my shit into Fluttershy's house because of AJ.

[Three Days Later]

Fucking. Celestia.

Not only did she originally intend to leave us out of her fucking stain glass window thing, she also (unintentionally) got on my nerves about the ceremony that was held. We were all standing around in our dress uniforms (armor for the knight, Shelton Talbot, and regular fancy ass suit for Sergio) when the music started playing, indicating that the Element Bearers enter.

The bloody thing was held exactly like the ceremony at the end of A New Hope. A Star Wars ceremony for a fucking Star Trek villian. Nerds, eat your hearts out.

Also, gotta give Dawn and Luna some credit for being smug bastards. When the curtains were drawn away, they managed to sneak all of the participating humans into it. The ones who were fucking/with/living with were pared off with each respective Element, and Schmidt was put next to Twilight.

Also gotta give the Nazi some serious props; right in front of not only her mentor, but the entire fucking press, he knelt down and kissed the fuck out of Twilight. What really made it worth keeping in my laughter was that she kissed right back without hesitation. God, the look on Sunbutt's face was worth staying up all last night filling out stacks of paperwork.

While I finish writing this, I'm about to rethreaten a certain white rodent, er, rabbit with Doc's scalpel collection.

Whelp, that just happened.