I woke up with the feeling of a few pounds of cloth being dumped upon my crotch.

“Up and at ‘em Jarhead. Get dressed, the wedding’s starting in twenty minutes.” Dawn said, looking down at me. “And wipe the ink off of your face.” After he said that, I got a wet as fuck washcloth to the face. I quickly wiped myself down in various places, got my uniform on, and considered myself decent.

"...Still smell a little funny, but whatever..." I muttered, walking after Dawn, who was wearing what I figured was a pony's version of military clothing.

'Looks like he's a general... More than likely self appointed...' I frowned.

"Did you appoint yourself as a general?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, but I'm telling you one thing right now; I did it so I could get closer to my troops. Sure, they're intimidated by my rank, but if we went to war right now with the Griffons, I would be on the front lines alongside my men." He replied.

"The way it works with my military, the Generals stayed behind the front lines and commanded their forces that way. It was pretty effective, but information could take its sweet time to get to them, and sometimes say something other than what is really going on." I said. Dawn hmm'd at that, but didn't comment.

"We're here. I really don't know if Chrysalis will do anything, but be prepared for anything." He said when we slipped in a back door, ending up behind Celestia in the wedding hall. She was the pastor, for some reason. Duffy and Williams were standing around near her, looking slightly confused.

"Alright, here's the plan. Duffy, go up on one of the overlooks and set up shop. Williams, you're on the other side of this bloody hall. I'll be near Cadence, but be ready to protect the shit out of her. Any questions?" I said. There were none, so I sent them on their way. Williams managed to find a chair near the big ass doors where I posted him and promptly sat down. It took me a minute to find out where Duffy set up shop; he was right above me and lying down so it would be hard to see him.

"It's about to start." Dawn said to me about a minute before Cadence was supposed to make her entrance. Shiny and Twilight took their positions about three feet from me, and the bridesmaids were across from us by about ten feet. The cerimony started and I pretty much spent the entire time making faces at AJ and Dash, while Twilight kept giving me small glares.

The wedding was alright. The flower girls, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom were cute as hell. As soon as it was over, I hijacked Applejack from her friends and managed to secure a side room to have a discussion in relative privacy.

"What's this about, Sugarcube?" Applejack asked once I secured the door.

"I'm pretty sure you know AJ." I answered, keeping my voice even while not facing her. She sighed and I heard her scuff the floor with a hoof.

"Yea... Ah know what ya mean..." She hesitantly said.

"That said, I don't really care. I mean, I'm not a virgin, and you're not. We're both experienced." I suddenly said, turning around. She had a look of shock, that's for sure.

"Ya... Ya ain't mad at me?" She slowly asked.

"Why in the hell would I be mad at you? You thought that Changeling was me, and you thought you had sex with me, until I popped up at the wedding. If anything, I'm mad at myself for getting my ass handed to me from a bug." I answered truthfully. "Hell, if anything, it makes our bond a tad bit stronger."

"What do ya mean?" She was sounding a lot more relaxed, now.

"We both went through a hardship and our relationship is still intact. We still love each other." I explained, getting on my knees and spreading my arms out. She got the idea and settled herself in for a hug, and stayed there for quite a while. If I had to take a guess, we were in that position for a good ten minutes.

"Yo! Get your asses out here, Luna's looking for Mark!" Dawn shouted from behind the door.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I called, before turning to Applejack.

"Ah love ya..." She whispered. In my response, I smiled and kissed her deeply. She blushed furiously when I pulled away, but had a goofy grin on her face. I bopped her on the nose and ran out before she could retaliate against me. Dawn shook his head at me and turned into colt Dawn, before bounding off like an idiot.

"The shit I see nowadays..." I muttered, jogging after him. The next thing I know, I'm faceplanting and Dawn is laughing dementedly.

"Well now! So that's what you look like when you're a pony..." He muttered, probably circling me.

'Oh schisse...' I thought, cracking open an eye to see a familiar tan hoof where my hand was.

"DAWN!!!" I shouted, furious at him. I'm pretty sure that being a filly didn't seem very intimidating, as he gave me a shit-eating grin.

"Gotta catch me to get turned back!" He shouted, zipping off. I growled and stuggled to my hooves. And suddenly, Twilight!

"Oh, what's a filly like you doing down here?" Twilight asked, appearing when I finally got walking on four legs down again.

"Uh, I was just looking for Princess Luna..." I hesitantly said, looking up at her. She looked confused, but smiled a little.

"She's probably asleep right now... Uh, what's your name?" She asked. I racked my brain for what I called this body, said fuck it, and made a new one up on the spot.

"It's Sand Dune..." I said, scuffing the floor with a hoof. She was about to say something, but there was a weird sounding explosion and a weird ass rainbow appeared in the window next to us. I would say that I didn't jump three feet into the air and let out a yelp, but Twilight still holds that over me.

'That... was fucking random.' I thought, shaking my head. Twilight said something and started leading me somewhere.

"Could you take me to Prince Timeithian then?" I hesitantly asked, looking up at her with my big ass eyes. I made them water a little, giving Twilight a look that could probably rival Applebloom's. Her possible protest dissolved as she sighed and nodded, continuing to walk me somewhere. We were outside when I spotted my target.

"Thanks, love." I said in my best impersonation of my own voice, bolting towards the Alicorn colt before she could respond. I noticed that Duffy was eyeing me cautiously, considering that I was creeping around and he didn't know who I was. When I managed to get up next to Dawn, I stabbed his ass with my horn and gave him a shit-eating grin.

"Turn me the fuck back. Now." I growled. He simply giggled before doing his voodoo magic and I stood up straight, glad to still have clothes on. I cracked my neck and noticed that everyone in the garden that I was in was staring at me.

'Oh. Right.' I mentally facepalmed, before sighing.

"Two ponies walked into a bar. The third one ducked." I said, smirking when most of the guests groaned at my terrible joke and went back to whatever they were doing.

"Christ almighty..." Williams muttered as he walked over to me along with Duffy.

"Ran into an evil flower patch when I first arrived here. Apparently, that pretty much gave me another form." I explained.

"Evil flower?" Duffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This world doesn't work like Earth. Mythical creatures are common here, as you can tell by the unicorns and pegasi blathering around us. Magic is another example of how different the worlds are." I explained further. He seemed to approve of the explanation by nodding.

"So, why did you turn into a girl unicorn?" Williams asked.

"Don't rightly know. And here it's 'filly', not 'girl'. Foal instead of kid, because everyone would think you're talking about a goat." I said, shrugging. As night fell, the three of us idled around, watching the ponies do what they consider dancing.

"Jesus, they're simply pushing up against each other with their chests..." I muttered, running my hands over my shaved head. Williams looked at me worriedly, and I silently cursed.

"I'm not a Nazi, I was born about fifty years after you were." I said, looking around. "I'm in the USMC, dealing with explosives." I added. He looked a little confused.

"Like mortars?" He asked.

"Not really. I work more alongside roadside bombs and the like. You're lucky you were born when the Nazis and Japanese didn't bury homemade bombs in the road for us to drive over. I safely disposed of them right where they were." I explained, getting a little more in depth of what I did for him. Duffy didn't need the explanation, as he was from my time period.

"Hello everypony, did I miss anything?" Luna asked suddenly, touching down next to us.

"I won't really answer that, considering that I'm not a pony." I muttered.

"Nothing major, Lulu." Williams said with a small smile.

'Christ, I would've gotten kicked for that. And he gets a fucking blush for it!' I thought, rolling my eyes. I still grinned though, patting Williams' back.

"You hooked a good mare, man. Treat her like she's the only woman alive." I muttered in his ear, before walking off to find the DJ.

'Wondering where she is? Then again, the DJ could be a guy, too...' I thought. Pinkie Pie answered my unspoken question by dragging a white unicorn mare from nowhere and shouted.

"Let's get this party started!" With that, music came out of the speakers and Twilight started singing. I admit, she was a really good singer. As I listened, I noticed that the DJ lifted her purple shades up and had some of the most beautiful red eyes that I've seen.

'If I wasn't with AJ, I probably would offer to bed with her.' I thought, rubbing the stubble that snuck upon my face. I just shrugged and decided to enjoy the night that sadly didn't contain booze.

It was alright, for a wedding.

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