Dim beams of light filtered down through the forest leaves, dancing across the ground.

Deep within the shadows, something hungry stirred.

“Ooga-booga-boo.”

Sweetie Belle shrieked in surprise, leaping away from the towering human in shock.

That is never going to not be funny.

“Will you cut that out already?” the filly’s schoolteacher snapped at Ryan agitatedly, stamping a light violet hoof against the ground. Her bright green eyes shot daggers at the greasy human, who merely leered back at her.

“Hey, believe me, Chipper,” Ryan said conversationally, “nothin’ would bring me greater pleasure than ta’ cut the little fuckers.”

“That’s not what I said!”

His grin only grew wider at her frustration. Her eyes darted nervously back and forth, and Ryan could see that she was clearly uneasy about allowing him anywhere near her precious students. And for good reason; he wasn’t necessarily a good influence on them.

“Yeah, that’s not what she fuckin’ said!” Apple Bloom chirped angrily, stepping protectively in front of Sweetie Belle. Ryan blanched, the grin slowly fading off of his face. Somehow, the thought of Apple Bloom swearing at people just seemed… wrong.

“Hey, watch your fuckin’ language,” Ryan grumbled, leveling a finger at her.

“Well, that makes you a hippopotamus!”

“Hypocrite,” Sweetie Belle interjected politely.

“Let’s… let’s quiet down, please, we have a very important lesson to get to…” Cheerilee said adamantly, stepping between them. “You can resolve your issues with Sweetie Belle and her sister after class.”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom agreed. Apparently, she believed she was at least a little intimidating. “After class-!”

“Christ, here.” Ryan seethed, thrusting his fist into his pocket and handing her the first thing he found to shut her up.

She stared at it as he dropped the small silver box into her hooves, eyeing the glint and shine it produced in the light.

“What is it?”

“A lighter,” Ryan said, waving her off. “Now go knock yourself out.”

“With what?”

“The lighter.”

Ryan turned back to Sweetie Belle, who was standing boldly in front of her schoolteacher. “If it’s really so important, why don’t you go bother Rarity about it?” she asked snidely, not moving.

“Well, ‘cause it ain’t Rarity I got a problem with. This little shit,” Ryan said to Cheerilee, “has been spreadin’ some kinda rumor around. I kinda figured that her sister woulda taken care of it by now, but apparently, it ain’t done no good.”

Cheerilee stared at him, and Ryan wasn’t certain if she was going to speak or not. Eventually, she started slowly “That statement… was… I don’t even… where did you go to school?” she asked desperately.

“Uh, I dropped out.”

“I can tell.”

Ryan politely responded by flipping her off.

“Look,” Ryan said, deadpanning. “just… see, folks are startin’ to get the wrong ideas ‘bout me n’ your sister.” He crossed his arms across his chest, glaring at the little filly. “An’ you spreadin’ rumors ain’t helpin’ any.”

“I haven’t been spreading any rumors,” Sweetie Belle stated innocently. “… Honest!” she held up a little hoof, as if trying to display her guiltlessness.

“Yeah, and your lard-ass princess hasn’t been eating too much cake.”

Princess Celestia sneezed.

“Frosting stuck in your nose once again, sister?” Luna stepped gaily beside her elder sister, gazing happily down at Canterlot from the high tower window.

“Hardly, Lulu,” Celestia said with a small grin, basking in the sun’s warm rays. “What brings you so late – or, early, I should say?”

Princess Luna sighed heavily, and she looked downtrodden. “We have been finding sleep elusive as a drunken satyr, as it dances away when we try to catch it.”

Even Celestia was a little surprised, but she didn’t show it. Her serene features settled kindly across her face, and she listened patiently as she waited for her sister to continue. When she remained silent, however, Celestia spoke.

“… Precisely what is it that prevents you from sleeping? I never did care for the royal bedding too much; a little scratchy, and in all the wrong –“

“The human.”

Celestia’s lips pursed, and she stood very still.

“… If it would allow you to rest easier, knowing that he were to be transported ahead of schedule to the palace, then-“

“No!” Luna abruptly cut her sister off, and hung her head shamefacedly when she saw Celestia’s confused look. The ruler of the night looked to be torn between something, and she fidgeted ceaselessly.

Eventually, Celestia gave a heavy sigh of her own and placed a comforting white wing over her sister.

“… Come. Walk with me.”

They traveled slowly throughout the royal palace, whitewashed and gleaming floors shining as splendidly as the magnificent and towering pillars. The soft but steady clop of their hooves made little noise as they walked, passing several royal guards. Each one stood firmly at attention at their passing, and Celestia gave them each a warm smile and a little nod. To Luna, however, they seemed a little uncomfortable.

“I don’t understand,” Luna said carefully after a while. They’d finally begun walking outside, and the garden around them danced lightly in the breeze. Small roses and brilliant tulips, begonias and petunias of every size. “I have walked amongst his dreams…” she said slowly, nearly lost in thought.

“And what have you learned?” Celestia asked patiently, carefully inspecting a large bush of flowers.

“His… dreams, if you can call them that…” Luna muttered darkly, “are usually of a blurred perspective. It’s almost as if he fails to grasp the concept of reality.” When Celestia remained silent, she continued. “I have seen his very soul, Celestia. The things I have seen there, I… they-I-I…”

The large, comforting white wing gently fell across Luna’s shoulders once more, and Celestia pulled her close. “I know, Luna. I know,” she crooned softly.

“Horrible things, Celestia. In all my years, I truly believed that I had seen everything. But this… this-this thing,” she growled, and her muscles tightened as she was torn between anger and grief. “… He is a monster, sister.”

“True, he may not be the most trustworthy being I have ever met.” Celestia said admittedly. Luna gazed back at her, and said “Then… why?”

“Hm?”

“Why?” Luna asked again, pulling away from her sister’s embrace. “You have seen his mind as well, have you not? You claimed that you touched his very soul, and doing so nearly cost you your life!” she stamped her hoof, and ruffled her feathers angrily. To her agitation, Celestia merely chuckled.

“Oh, that,” she giggled. “Miller actually has very, very little power on his own. He simply redirected a sliver of my own and, well… I haven’t actually seen anypony do that trick since Sombra. I didn’t expect it, is all.”

“Belay that, sister!” Luna raised her voice, “Power or no, he is still a monster!”

“… You very well may be correct.” Celestia said simply, sitting down and sighing again. The serene features never left her face, however.

“Then-then-but- why?” her sister asked pleadingly. “You know what he is; why did you not end him when you had a chance? Why do you continue to show faith in this beast?”

For a long, long moment, Celestia was very quiet.

“For the very same reason I had faith in you, dear sister.”

Luna seemed taken aback, and the anger gradually slipped away from her. It left her feeling tired, and more than a little sad. Celestia beckoned her forward once again with a wing extended, and Luna nestled close to her.

“… Explain to me your reasoning.”

Celestia blinked, and said “True, both his mind and soul are corrupted. I originally scoured both for Discord; and, I had hoped that it was merely Discord’s influence that had caused it. However, there is darkness deep within him. Hatred, loathing, anger, fear…” she trailed off, and a sad look came into her eyes. She took a slow breath, and the sides of her lips slowly turned up.

“But there is more than that. Joy, laughter, care, love; these things dwell within him as well. Deep down… very, very deep down, but there they remain. And even though it would appear as if there is no hope to be had for the creature, surely you have seen it, too.”

Luna cocked a questioning eyebrow, awaiting an answer.

“A spark. I sensed it buried deep within. A spark, a tiny, nearly insignificant shard of hope; but it is there. The touch of magic is evident. I now wonder if my student was aware of this from the beginning…”

That might help explain why she was so adamant in her proposal to show kindness toward him.

“Or Discord…” Luna added uncomfortably, old memories of the fiend’s wrath still fresh in her mind.

“Or Discord,” Celestia agreed. “Which only raises another question, one that I have no answer to. But that will have to wait for later, dear sister. You should get some rest before the rise of night, should you not?”

Luna grumbled, but nodded. As she flew off, Celestia wondered if she had made the right decision in not telling her sister. Of course, that didn’t mean the question stopped burning within her with a fire like the sun.

If neither the human nor Discord were responsible for his arrival in Equestria, then who was?

“And I hope you’ve learned a very important lesson about the dangers of gossip. It can – are you drooling?”

Ryan had, indeed, begun drooling.

In his defense, it was because the more Cheerilee talked to Sweetie Belle, the more comfortable he found the tree he was currently leaning against.

“… Uh… no?”

Cheerilee muttered something that certainly wasn’t meant to be said around filly’s ears, and Sweetie Belle spoke.

“I-I’m sorry if I caused anypony trouble… I won’t do it again…” she squeaked uncomfortably, standing fretfully before her schoolteacher.

“I don’t think it’s me you should be apologizing to,” Cheerilee said with a small and forgiving smile. “I imagine your sister would be much more interested in that, along with… Ryan, was it?”

Ryan, who was busy picking at his ear, immediately stopped and stared at her. “… What?”

“I thought you wanted the issue resolved?” the schoolteacher stamped her hoof angrily.

“Oh, dude. Fuck that,” Ryan said, waving her off. “I don’t give a shit if she’s gossipin’ or not, so long as it’s not about me. ‘Sides, I think she’s suffered enough. Christ, how come your butt-mark wasn’t a windbag?”

Cheerilee looked ready to kick him in the head, which he probably would have deserved.

“Fire! Fire!”

Cheerilee’s ears perked up in shock, and even Ryan stood up straight.

“Children, all together now, counting students!” she shouted rapidly, gathering all of them together from the schoolyard. A pillar of flame shot up directly from the center, and thick plumes of smoke broiled out through the windows. Ryan was a little impressed over how quickly the schoolteacher had assessed the situation and assumed control, doing her best to take care of her students.

That, and Ryan was feeling very uncomfortable, suddenly remembering that he gave a certain Zippo lighter to one of the little fillies. Appleblossom, or something. He regretted not giving her a nickname to more easily remember her by, but right now, that was the least of his worries. So long as he could slip away quietly…

“Apple Bloom? Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“Help! Somepony, help!”

… Aw, buck me with a shovel.

… Fuck. I meant to say, fuck.

“HELP!”

“GODDAMIT!” Ryan yelled, pushing past the schoolteacher and the students.

“Snips, Snails!” Cheerilee barked, trotting quickly after the lumbering human. “Fire department, now! Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara – double check headcounts, now!” she sped after Ryan, the two of them quickly coming up to the quickly burning wooden schoolhouse, cries of help drifting out.

“Door – where’s the fuckin’ door!?” Ryan yelled, the roaring flames shattering one of the windows and he spotted a wooden beam cracking under its own weight.

“To your left!” Cheerilee said over the noise. She worriedly ran after him, and Ryan grabbed the door handle. He quickly jerked his hand back, swearing loudly at the burn from the metal handle.

“Fuck!”

“Somepony, help!”

“Christ, I heard ya’ the first time!” Ryan yelled in panic. He motioned for Cheerilee to back away, and he ran at the door and slammed into it as hard as he could. His shoulder slammed against the wooden panels, and he heard a slight cracking.

… Ooh, that hurt. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that hurt. Again!

Ryan slammed into the door over and over, accentuating each slam with angry screams. “Why-won’t-this-fucking-thing-just-open!” With a final, crashing blow, the wooden door was ripped off its hinges, and the surge of heat and flame nearly bowled him over.

“Help! Help!”

Nice going, ‘Superman’…

“Hang on, I’m comin’!” Ryan yelled back, covering his face with one arm. The flames licked around him as he charged inside, head whipping around for the filly. “Appleblossom, is that you?”

“Hel- Yes! Yes, it’s Appleblossom!” the little filly squeaked excitedly, poking her head up from the center of the room. Oddly enough, there was a large and completely unmarred perfect circle in which she stood, looking as if it had never been burned at all. She motioned for him to help her, frantically reaching out for him without leaving the circle.

“Hang on, I’ll save you!” Ryan said through the smoke as it burned its way into his lungs, and he desperately tried not to hack and cough. It stung his eyes, and he tried not to wipe them as he slowly drew closer. He carefully made his way around the stacked and flaming desks, and the filly smiled happily as he came closer. Several chunks of burning wood fell from the ceiling, clattering to the ground around him.

“Ryan, are you in there?”

His head whipped around, seeing the violet coat of Twilight Sparkle charging directly for him.

“Get outta here, Purple!” he choked out, but Twilight didn’t slow down. “The whole place is comin’ down!”

Twilight slammed into him with as much force as she could muster, propelling them both into a section of the wall that wasn’t currently burning. Ryan, a little dazed, shoved her off as he shouted. “Kid, what the fuck-!” it was then that he saw the large, blazing overhead beam come crashing down onto the exact spot that he’d been only a moment ago, blistering the floor with a shower of sparks and flame.

The little filly was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” Ryan screamed in fear, and he felt sick to his stomach. She was dead – she was dead, and it was all his fault…!

Just like old times, eh?

“Appleblossom! We gotta find her, quick…!” Ryan started forward, pushing the obviously crazed unicorn out of the way. She grabbed his singed sleeve with her teeth, shaking violently.

“Ryan, no! Her name is Apple Bloom, and-“

“And she’s gonna be dead if we don’t get her the fuck outta here!” he yelled, a pillar of flame rippling unnaturally quickly down the wall behind them as Ryan started toward the last place he’d seen the filly.

“She’s outside!” Twilight shrieked at him. “Apple Bloom is the one who ran to get me! She’s been outside the whole time!”

That got his attention.

“… Wait, what?”

And that’s when the changeling struck.

Ryan had been in a lot of fights.

Most of which, Ryan strived to win. If he wasn’t going to win a fight, then he was going to run away from one. There were quite a few instances in which Ryan had no option of fleeing, and every time one of them occurred, he gained a new scar from it.

Ryan had a lot of scars.

The shining black carapace rammed directly into his side with much more force than even Twilight could manage, and he went spiraling with the changeling directly into a stack of burning desks. He could hear Twilight shouting something, but he couldn’t hear what. Ryan quickly lost sight of her in the smoke, and the buzzing, insect like wings of the changeling whirred violently in his ears.

Ryan grabbed its head with both hands, watching in horror as its mouth widened with impossible speed, revealing a row of sharp fangs. It hissed in anger as he held it at arm’s length, and it flapped it’s wings rapidly. Had Ryan been paying closer attention, he might have avoided getting the multiple sharp nicks from its wings along his forearms. The blood mingled with the soot and burns, and he let out a cry of pain as he dropped the changeling.

The black beast’s bright green eyes flared as it charged again, bashing into his stomach with glee. He was ready for it this time, however. Doing his best to ignore the pain, he snatched its wings by the bases and lifted his kneecap with alarming swiftness. It cracked mightily into the changeling’s jaw, and it let out a scream of agony as he let go with one hand and grabbed it by the neck, ramming it into the chalkboard over and over again.

Another burning beam came crashing down, nearly crushing them both. Ryan had to release the creature, which was bleeding some kind of oozing green ichor.

“-ry! Ryan, hurry! I can’t keep it up much longer!” Ryan saw that Twilight had been preoccupied with using her magic to keep the roof up, although she was straining with the effort. It was then that he noticed the second changeling, this one with both wings and a wickedly curving horn. Light green shots of light regularly burst from it, slamming into the roof and drawing it closer to the ground. The changeling Ryan had been holding bolted away from him, but not before sinking it’s razor sharp fangs deep into his forearm.

He let out a scream of surprise and kicked the thing as hard as he could, hearing a satisfying crunch as one foot connected heavily with one of its wings. It lurched away from him, darting out of the broken window and zipping toward the Everfree Forest, flapping low to the ground. It’s ally quickly did the same, shooting one last look at them as it followed its ally.

Ryan made for the door, only to discover that the way was blocked by fire.

There was fire on every side, no way to escape.

And that’s when one more blazing beam splintered, dropping directly down on top of him. He tried leaping out of the way, but too late – the heavy wooden log dropped directly onto him. Ryan fell to the floor in pain, soot and ashes flying into his face as he desperately tried to free himself, but to no avail.

… So. This is how I die. I was expecting more guns, really.

“Ryan!” Twilight yelled for him, hoof protectively covering her own face as the fire burned around them. Sweat poured down her sides, and she looked completely spent.

“Get out!” he choked, pain shooting up from his leg when he tried to move. Unfortunately, it was the exact same leg that had suffered from before. If he got out of this alive, he was going to have one hell of a limp.

If he got out alive at all, that is.

“Almost…!” Twilight exclaimed, weakly using her magic to thrust burning wreckage out of the way. She finally reached him, and tried dragging him away from the fire with her teeth. Twilight grabbed his collar, tried using her hooves to drag him; nothing worked.

“Log! Fuckin’ log!” Ryan breathed heavily, flames whipping angrily across his leg.

She nodded, leveling her horn at it.

And nothing happened.

“… Oh, buck me with a shovel!” Twilight yelled, and kicked the beam as hard as she could. One, two, five – seven kicks, and Ryan could finally wriggle free from the beam. The rest of it came crashing to the ground, and Twilight pushed herself under his arm to grant him some leverage.

“Great,” Ryan groaned, discovering that he could no longer stand. “now what?”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking!” Twilight said heavily, small bursts of lavender sparks flying from her horn each time she tried to use her magic, to no avail. The fire roared and burned around them, and Ryan clutched at Twilight’s neck.

“Just leave me here; you can get out faster!” he shouted into her ear to make himself heard, but she shook her head repeatedly.

“I’m not leaving you!” she yelled back, dodging another pillar of flame. She stared up at a hole in the ceiling that the fallen logs had caused, and she quickly formulated a plan.

“Okay, got it!” she said, eyeing the logs. “If we can get up those, we’ll go through the roof. Ready?”

“No!”

“Okay!” she said, charging up the burning beam. She dragged the limping Ryan behind her, and for a moment, he believed that they really might make it out alive.

The beam snapped halfway up, and the two came crashing back to the ground. Ryan grabbed her protectively, trying to cover as much of her with his own body as he could before they hit the floor. Ryan landed on his back, and Twilight shrieked in fear as the fire snatched them up hungrily, filling their sight, the pain, the heat…!

The last thing Ryan saw before he passed out was a brilliant rainbow.

Author's Notes:

DAT.
DAT.
DAT SONG.