Tulpae make you stupid

You see, this I why I always kinda believed anti-bronies.

It only took 3 episodes to hook me on this new stupid trend, something I hope lasts only long enough to fool grown men and teenage boys out of their cash for merch and stupid junk. So far I myself have already picked my favorite character and gone through the trouble of getting a poster. I write every now and again on some forums about it and even dabble in a bit of drawing. But that was all just novice. An ephemeral beginning stage to an altogether much more worrying obsession.

Honestly it was bound to happen. Like most people I share this "fandom" with I don't have many friends. Not just because I'm a nerdy weirdo that enjoys programs intended for young children, but also because I live with a disease known in the medical world as, "The Mondays". It afflicts 99.9% of the human population once a week, but the other .01% must be stuck with this crippling ailment every day of said week.

24/7 365 days a year, every morning feels like a Monday. I don't know when or how it started. It's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. But because of it, I don't socialize well.

I'm not really obese and my capacity to grow a beard is rather limited to a pedo stash that I shave off every weak, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone would describe me as a neck beard. If only for the idea that I participate in the internet more than real life and find opinions other than mine to be stupid. Very, very stupid.

So instead of people, I commonly find myself socializing with who ever happens to be on League of Legends. Even then, I avoid anyone with "xX" in their names. Or numbers.

Given this one could surmise I'm a pretty pathetic, lonely human being. And you'd be right enough for me to not listen to you. So what is one in my situation to do when they find the creeping sensation of loneliness?

Something incredibly stupid of course.

Now to clarify, I've never been a clopper. I don't necessarily hate those that are, I don't see it as a big issue at all really. But like I said, it just doesn't click with me. That being the case, there came a point in my young life where I had come to a conclusion that I didn't really want to pursue friends anymore.

Previous efforts ( The few that there were ) had pretty much always ended in my embarrassment and something for ugly children to put on face book to make themselves feel important and relevant. Given my low self-esteem this process sort of slipped downwards on my list of priorities.

"Why would I go about trying to make friends when I've got exactly what I need right here? In my stupid, ugly brain?" I thought that phrase quite often to myself over last summer. And when winter had come and the time to return to schooling had come with it, I went under way to doing something that usually just homeless people and stupid kids do.

I made myself an imaginary friend. But most people call it a "tulpa" these days.

Not to mention that fact that I stole mine right from My Little Pony. Not that creative I know. As if I was dropped on my head as a baby, I took much time considering what pony I should be using for this. I couldn't just pick any old deformed horse monster to be my friend. Everyone was considered in some way shape or form during this time of thinking sometime during thanksgiving break. From Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Flutter shy, to the more under used ponies like Twist, Snails and even Zecora made it onto the list. But none seemed like they'd be an appropriate friend for a sociopath like me.

The criteria set was rather stringent I will admit. They'd have to enjoy video games, doing things that involve interacting with as little people as possible, sleeping in a room that never gets cleaned or has the lights turned on, staying up until 3 every night AND not bitching the whole time about friendship and learning lessons. So that immediately crossed out Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. And Rainbow Dash in my opinion is highly over rated so I wasn't even bothering to think on it. The only real candidate that came even close to passing was Snails… or Scootaloo.

So I took the obvious choice. Think about it over a mug of monster mixed with cheeto dust and My Little Pony on the tube, then get back to thinking about it after writing a poorly researched rant on tumblr about white people or something.

The process of all titans of the internet.