Authors Note: And part two is here- something cheerful to even out the depressing ending of the last one. Also, who wants to be the 300th reviewer?

ALSO, AS OF THE 7th OF OCTOBER, THIS STORY IS ONE YEAR OLD! WOOHOO! :D

Amellia Rose- A weird combination, I know. ^^"

Captain Alaska: Well now ya know. I just want the two of them to be friends so I can write a bunch of cute and funny scenes for them! :3

Snow Hurricane Blue- Yeah, you have a right to fear her. SHE IS AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY! (Guess that reference and I will hug you!) Though keeping in mind that even Surprise doesn't know what went down with Spitz and Brae, there isn't much she can say to him other than the fact that she's sulking in her office… which everypony already knows… okay, they don't know she's sulking but- okay, I see what you mean.

CrystalHeart190- R-really? You've been spreading my story around? I… OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE SO AWESOME! *cyberhugs* I'm so pleased that there are so many MLP fans at your school, and as usual, my review for the episode is right after the replies.

RosaSilvermist- We need more Sentimental Spitty in our lives. And don't worry, Cinder's situation will be explained in much more detail at a later date, and when the time comes I may... ya know, that's enough spoilers *walks out*.

YoungBlood23- I know right! Oh my gosh my head is a dark place at times- but this chapter is funnier so let's get started! :D

Ripstickmario- Patience, my friend. I really wanna get to that part too but there's still a little time. But they will interact soon… *squee*

Litestardt- Just be grateful that Spitz isn't mixing the wine and coffee- oh my God you've just gave me an idea. Damn you! And Lightning is so cool *hugs*. And hell yeah, Flash Sentry had better back off! :P

Luna'snight625- Honoured huh? Whoa, I feel so flattered now *blush*. And I think that Surprise and Spitfire's interactions are some of my favourite parts to write in the story (except of course for Soarin's funny moments). And do Soarin's plans usually work, huh? This is basically a recipe for disaster! And my FIMFiction username is Sassymouse, like it is on here. Also, congrats for getting your art featured on the Piercing the Heavens art blog. ;)

Dshk- Crap! Fixed it now. Sorry about that; I didn't proofread the last chapter because I wanted to get it out before the new episode aired (long story) so that's why a few mistakes might be littered here and there. And Braeburn and Soarin's bucket lists were fun to write! And I decided that Soarin would have a stuffed frog purely because I love frogs- I also love John Oliver- he's one of my comedy inspirations! And I looked up what a bearcat was… I don't think Soarin would wanna sleep with something like that, but they look like cool animals. I also listened to the soundtrack you wrote about and I love it! Background music like that really helps me focus when I right and proofread, so don't be at all surprised if I listen to this in the future. Oh! A Little Push? The one where Dashie and Soarin's son is afraid of heights right; I've read it and it's so sweet! Now we just need Misty Fly and Surprise to become friends somehow so I can use my two favourite 'Bolts in sweet little situations… but how the heck is that possible? I could figure something out, but knowing me it'll turn into some kind of farce. I also forgot to do Party Pooped, but that was because they aired while I was writing chapter 35. That took me a month, as in I missed reviewing two episodes and it still wasn't done until like two weeks into the hiatus. I'll get them done eventually, but I need to keep the episodes up to date, so we'll just see if I can do one when there's a week without an episode- which always happens at least once per season.

DannyTheKitty- Oh my gosh, I'm so flattered. You're such a sweetheart. And I would love to become a full time writer and write a real book, so your words of encouragement brightened my day. Thank you so much. *cyberhugs*

MY REVIEW FOR RARITY INVESTIGATES!

(SPOILERS AHEAD- YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

If you have been around me and this story for at least five seconds ever you will know how much I love the Wonderbolts, and since this was a Wonderbolt episode I am honestly freaking excited to be reviewing this and it will probably get out of hand as usual so if I start going on long rant, don't worry because that's what's supposed to happen.

First off I spent the week after watching Canterlot Boutique reading stuff about She-Who-Shares-My-Name, and I've actually grown to like Sassy Saddles, so I was very pleased when she showed up at the beginning of the episode. Honestly, I thought she would be one of those characters who shows up once and is never seen again, and I'd hate for that to happen, so thank you Hasbro for doing something right. It sorta makes me wonder if this episode starts off where the last one ended…

Anyway, so Rarity has been inspired to make some outfits like the ones the detectives wear in the stories, and not only did this make me happy to see Sassy acting so positively to Rarity's ideas, but it also made me excited because mystery is one of my favourite genres, after comedy of course. Then Rainbow Dash shows up (knocking over Rarity's display in the process… Rarity needs to buy a more reliable door) saying that she's in Canterlot for the opening of Princess Celestia's royal garden, a fact that I missed the first time I watched the episode due to the stream I was watching it on hating me. The Wonderbolts are going to be performing and since Dash is in the reserves she is required to be there in case one of the 'Bolts cannot perform, and Rarity tells her that she will be there too before Dash leaves, proving once again that Rarity needs a new damn door (or needs to bolt down those stands)! Less than two seconds after, we get to see Persuasive Rarity again, which brings me on to a question. How is it possible for a pony to be both adorable and hot at the same time? How can it be allowed?!

And then we see the Wonderbolts! I was so hyped to see these guys again, and was praying with all my heart that they'd be portrayed well this time around. The strange thing was that there were some new Wonderbolts… they will not be in this story but I'm curious to find out their names. There's one that looks like a hybrid of High Winds and Lightning Streak; I remember that very clearly because I remember thinking to myself "Nope there's no way this is their weird spawn cuz BlazeWinds for life!" and there were others that I've forgotten about… I feel bad now.

Then we meet Wind Rider… I saw him, pointed at the screen and yelled "ANTAGONIST!" Subtlety, Hasbro, we've been over this… okay that's a lie, we've not been over it, I don't even know who works at Hasbro or where the name 'Hasbro' even comes from- oh great, that's one more thing for me to look up on the internet. So Wind Rider used to be this super cool Wonderbolt that Rainbow Dash idolizes, and he holds the record for something called the Mustang Marathon, which is an important thing to remember.

Then we witness the return of Best Pony Spitfire (who is much happier in the show than I am currently portraying her) and my baby Misty Fly! I'm not gonna lie, I saw the two of them together and squeed, wanting Surprise to fly on over and get some screen time with them. Seriously, if that had happened I would have passed out! We then get a little conversation about how everyone is expecting Dash to beat Wind Rider's record, and that's when it becomes clear what the outcome of the episode is going to be, leaving us with seventeen more minutes of wondering what will happen between now and the conclusion. We do get to see some adorkable fangirl Rainbow Dash and then… MISTY FLY SPOKE! *Insert Rainbow Dash themed fangirl moment here, please* It wasn't the voice that I imagine her with when I write but I like it, and it's deeper than Spitty's which I prefer over many people's theories of her having a squeaky voice… but the whole point of this rant is that Misty Fly had a speaking role and I was happy. Good? Good.

We then see Dash, Rarity and Spitz retire for the night in a scene I don't really have anything to say about before we cut to the next morning, where the 'Bolts are training while Rarity and Rainbow watch (also Caramel is standing with another new mare. Seriously, this dude…) and then we see the part that made people fangasm like wild… things. Soarin swoops down and seems to… flirt with Dash a little, which I was pleased by because it means this story isn't for nothing. Though in all honesty I see the comments for the episode and all I'm seeing is "SoarinDash is Canon!" "Ohmagerd did you see Soarin and Dash!" "This is da best episode cuz SoarinDash!" and I bet you didn't expect me to say this but SHUT UP PEOPLE! This episode is about so much more than that, so calm the frick down! This is Rainbow Falls all over again, and I'm pretty sure the only reason people like that shitty episode was because of Soarin and Dash interacting! I have a whole story I could rant about here but I'm already ranting about something so this is technically a rant within a rant, so it's time to move on! So Soarin tells Rainbow that Spitfire had to leave because she got a letter from her mother saying that she was ill and she needed to take care of her.

*Slams head into the desk* HEADCANON DOWN PEOPLE! Everyone abandon ship! Man the lifeboats! We're going down! Seriously, that's the only part of the episode that bothered me and that's just personal since if you read through chapter 35 (and you better have) I literally killed off all her family members! Oh well, at least I managed to get that chapter out before this episode, right? Oh well, back to the rant.

Soarin then tells Dashie that she can fill in for Spitz while she's away, which Rainbow agrees to in a dash! See what I did there? Heh… yeah, that was bad. We then get an awesome Dash fangirl scene where she dances and does the classic 'ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!' thing! After that there's a time skip and we see Dash and Wind Rider practising and then we get to see Stormy Flare. I've gotta admit, her design is cool and she seems like a pretty good character… even if she's no Honey Glaze. Although I was right that Spitty got her colours from her mother, so one thing worked out for me!

Anyhoo, you can imagine the confused conversation that happens next with Rarity wondering why Stormy Flare is here, and Stormy wondering where her daughter's gone, then Soarin and the other Wonderbolts join in and Stormy reveals that she never sent a letter to Spitz. Then Wind Rider points out that only a pony who wanted Spitfire's place in the show would write her a fake note, and all eyes turn to Rainbow Dash.

Then the scene changes to the 'Bolts all crowding around Dash and interrogating her… and then BLAZE TALKS! Blaze's voice is actually pretty close to the one I imagine her with, maybe not as deep, but it was close enough that I smiled like a doof at the similarity. All the evidence seems stacked against Dash (and we get a cool fantasy from her that involves a Top Gun reference! :D) I did cringe a bit when Soarin threatened Dash the way he did, and there goes another of my headcanon's of Soarin being a lovable goofball. Seriously, I don't really like Soarin's personality in the show… or his voice… and I will never stop making him out to be the same silly stallion that I love to write the most out of all the characters. That's when Detective Rarity comes out to try and help clear Dash's name, all dressed up in her cool new outfit!

Then we get a Noir Rarity moment- the first of many- accompanied by Rarity narrating what's going on. I really love Noir stuff in movies, so this was a great moment for me, and one of the many signs that I was going to love this episode. They search Spitfire's room for clues and Rarity finds the envelope for the letter the captain was sent, which she sniffs (remember that) before uncovering some of Rainbow Dash's hair. DUN DUN DUUUUUN! After Rarity checks out the curtains, they continue their investigation by questioning the royal guards, who suddenly don't look all the same. Flash was probably getting lonely being the only orange guard… and Sugar Swoop now stands a chance. Remember their talk in chapter 12? Once again the guards put forward some evidence that Dash is guilty, and that brings us to a Sultry Rarity moment. She sweet talks the guards into giving her some more information and her tactics were very… Rarity. The guards reveal that somepony gave them cake the previous night and Rarity demands to know what kind of cake it was (important again!) before beginning a funny running gag of her doing the Noir Narration before it reveals she's talking out loud! HA!

Rarity and Dash then head to a bakery where they interrogate British Stereotype Pony Number… I lost count around number fifty three a few months ago… and she reveals that whoever bought the cake from her store had a deep raspy voice like Rainbow Dash's. Rarity discovers that the pony who did it got chocolate on their scarf, giving our unicorn a pretty good clue, and after an Over-Rainbow-React moment, the dynamic duo return to the Wonderbolts.

Rarity bursts onto the scene announcing that she knows who did it and proceeds to accuse Wind Rider. Bam! Predictable villain unmasked… oh heck, the mask was on about half a second after I first saw him. Rarity reveals that when she was checking out all the stuff, like the curtains and the envelope, she was actually looking for clues, using them to put the evidence against the former Wonderbolt. And then after little to no pushing, he just admits that he did it… WHO DOES THAT?! Rarity goes on to explain why he did it in her own very Rarity-ish manner and Rainbow Dash sets off to retrieve Spitfire from the Crystal Mountains… yeah, she definitely broke Wind Rider's record with that speed.

So Spitty and Dash get back in time and Rainbow Dash and Rarity have a Moral Moment, teaching us that you can always trust your friends, even if what they're doing doesn't make sense to you… kinda like the moral from Swarm of the Century if you ask me. Spitfire then gives Rainbow Dash a spot in the airshow to replace Wind Rider and then strips him of his Wonderbolt name, giving me the impression that her special talent should be badge ripping. Dash then flies with the Wonderbolts (SQUEEEEE!) and Rarity gives us one more comedic Noir reference before the episode ends, the credit song being replaced with jazz music.

So this episode was really good in my opinion despite the obvious turnout… seriously, this was like early Scooby Doo kind of obvious, and the clear ending keeps this as a Good episode instead of a Great episode, because if there was some kind of twist it would have made it a much better story. Heck, they could have brought back Lightning Dust… though that would have been breaking the first rule of Father Knox's Decalogue: "The criminal must be someone mentioned in the early part of the story, but must not be anyone whose thoughts the reader has been allowed to follow." So Lightning Dust was out of the question, plus I really want her to have a redemption story so having her as a villain would've made me a little upset since I love Lightning Dust.

But on the bright side, this is the first episode where we've seen Rainbow Dash and Rarity interact on this level since season one in Sonic Rainboom, and even then they didn't have all that much going on with them, so this was a good episode in that retrospect. Now if only we had an Applejack and Fluttershy episode, because those two need to spend more time together.

Now MMMMystery on the Friendship Express was similar to this episode but there were few differences too, and though I enjoyed this episode more there were a few things I would have mixed up a bit of those two episodes to make things better. Firstly, I would have given MOTFE the kind of interesting investigation that RI had, because when I watched that episode for the first time I just felt bored watching Twilight and Pinkie stumbling around like that, and I would have given RI the unpredictable turnout of MOTFE, since seriously, who saw the Mane Six being the culprits coming? I sure didn't.

So all in all this episode was one of my favourites of the season, and may have even made it into my top ten episodes. Now Made in Manehattan is the last episode in the so-called 'Month of Rarity', so let's all just wait and see what the writers are gonna throw at us this time around. What did you guys think of the episode, and what would you have improved if given the chance?

See ya next time on Sassymouse's Reviews- provider of comedic analysis since 2015.

(SPOILERS END HERE)

---

"Soarin, what are you doing?" Silver Lining asked as he entered the staff room. Soarin was rummaging through the cupboards on the walls, clearly searching for something. He was also wearing a black baseball cap with the words Top Bolt imprinted on it in yellow.

"Looking for wheatgerm." Soarin replied casually as if this was perfectly natural. Silver stood there in silence for a little while, glancing around at the otherwise empty room before returning his dark blue gaze to Soarin.

"Why in blazes are you looking for wheatgerm?" The silver stallion briefly looked like he regretted ever asking, but Soarin gave him an answer anyway.

"Because I told Braeburn that I'd start drinking wheatgerm smoothies; but after putting on my thinking cap-" he tapped the cap on his head, "-I realised two things: I'm not a thinker, I look great in caps, and I have no idea what wheatgerm is."

"That's three things." Silver rolled his eyes at the pale blue stallion, who groaned.

"Ugh you're right; stupid thinking cap!" Soarin then grabbed the cap and tossed it out the window. Silver made his way over to Soarin and pulled him away from the cabinets.

"Soarin, I wanted to see you about something."

"I didn't do it!" Soarin defended himself. Silver blinked a couple of times and then slitted his eyes.

"What did you do?" He asked with a venomous voice. Soarin gulped and clapped his hooves together nervously.

"It was me who broke the shower head in the third stall," Soarin confessed. "I was throwing my arms around a little too much while I was singing Drip Some Molasses On Me by Blynd Cheatha." He confessed. Silver raised himself up to his full height.

"I knew it was you!" He proclaimed before breathing in and out a few times to calm down. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to say. You remember Contrail right? Heck, of course you do."

Soarin perked up at this; Contrail was one of the greatest Wonderbolts in his eyes, and by far one of the toughest. Back when he was in the Wonderbolts Contrail was the take-charge pony whenever Nighthawk or Concorde weren't being serious about things, and that had inspired Soarin. It didn't stop him from being a ball of silliness, but the point is that he viewed the ex-Wonderbolt as a legend.

"Why? Is he coming here? It's been a long time!" Soarin nattered excitedly. Silver Lining nodded.

"That's right," he confirmed. "and I'm sure he'd love to see you after all this time. It's been about three years since he wanted to visit this place."

Soarin recalled Contrail's previous visit. He had been a little wary of things, since he had fairly bad PTSD, but had promised that he'd visit regularly after. If by regularly he meant like once every few years, but hey he was coming and that's what really mattered!

"Hey, maybe we could all hang out around Cloudsdale; chill out and do the fun stuff we used to do." Soarin suggested. One of his favourite memories of when he was a cadet was when Silver and Contrail (who were best friends back in the day) had taken him flying one day to teach him a little more about aerial control, so having the three of them together was like an almost déjà vu-ish moment.

"I'm sure Contrail would like the sound of that," Silver agreed. "he should be arriving shortly, so we'd better go and meet him outside."

"He's almost here?!" Soarin gasped with glee, putting his hooves on his cheeks and smiling like a lunatic. He was pretty sure that his smile was so wide that it would traumatise a few foals for life if they were to see him.

"Uh-huh, so get your act together, soldier, and let's move on out." Silver commanded Soarin like a captain would for a cadet, and Soarin wasted no time in galloping out the door and down the hall, knowing that he'd probably be out of breath by the time he reached the entrance door but not caring a single bit.

Today was the perfect day for The New Him to emerge!

---

"Oh my gosh, all this food…" Soarin drooled as he looked around at the small restaurant that he, Silver Lining, and Contrail were sitting in. It was almost completely full in there, and pegasi were mulling around the rectangular conveyer belt in the middle of the room, picking up little plastic dishes full of salad and digging in. Soarin had never been to this place before but Silver Lining had told him that it was pretty fancy and the food was delicious, and there was no way even in another life that Soarin would pass up an opportunity to eat yummy food.

They had met Contrail outside the Academy as planned, and Soarin was a little surprised to see how he'd changed. He had gained a tiny bit of weight by the looks of things, and his golden mane was beginning to get tinted with grey; his light blue fur was a little faded and there were noticeable wrinkles on his face, though Soarin could see past all of this and recognise the Wonderbolt he had admired for many years. They had gone to the market together, and after some browsing Soarin had got a chain necklace with a dollar sign on it because he thought it looked cool, even if he had no idea what a dollar sign was, and then they had gone to get some lunch, which was why they were currently here.

Contrail and Silver Lining were doing a crossword together, and Silver Lining had told them that they would not order anything until they had completed it, which Soarin was finding torturous since they were taking forever. Soarin leaned closer in their direction to his left so he could hear what they were saying; maybe if he could help them it would speed things up a little.

"Alright, fifteen across…" Contrail murmured to his silver friend. "Nine letters; deliberate exaggeration."

"Ooh! I know this one…" Soarin racked his brain to try and come up with something. The word 'lysichiton' came to mind, but he had zero idea what that meant… or how to spell it. "I can get this…"

"It's hyperbole, of course." Contrail said to him, and Soarin nodded, putting on his best poker face.

"Yeah, of course." He repeated. Contrail scribbled the word onto the paper and gave Silver a grin of accomplishment.

"Well, let's eat." He decided; it looked like no matter how old he was Contrail was still in the habit of telling other ponies what to do.

"It all looks so good…" Soarin started drooling again, only just remembering to pull his tongue into his mouth before he slobbered all over everything. Soarin waited for the two older stallions to get their dishes off the conveyer belt before he chose his own. Lettuce, tomatoes, parsley, carrots and a bunch of other stuff that Soarin was too hungry to bother naming was his choice, and he felt pleased for grabbing such a good one since he picked up a dish completely at random.

Soarin dug in, wanting to wolf the whole thing down before he noticed that Silver and Contrail were eating with smaller, more civilised bites. Wanting to be like his older heroes, he decided to do the same, flicking the green bean that was hanging from his mouth away before nibbling some lettuce, ignoring every reflex he had to just wolf the whole meal down. Stupid dinner rules… but if he wanted to become a New Him, he needed to work on his manners.

"So Soarin, how are your co-captain duties going?" Contrail asked, giving the younger pony a grin. Soarin sat up straighter.

"Well… yes, they're going fine. It's a lot of work and I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the paperwork, but as a responsible stallion I am handling my duties very well, maintaining a healthy team relationship and not breaking any shower heads." He winked rather obviously at Silver Lining, who buried his face in a hoof. Contrail just chuckled and took another bite of his lunch, which was mostly made up of lettuce.

"Silver tells me that you've finally gone and got yourself a ladyfriend; that Rainbow Dash mare I've heard a lot about. The one who's friends with that Princess Twilight Sparkle, right? She must have really low standards." He shared a laugh with Silver Lining, and Soarin rolled his eyes.

"Well yes, I am dating Rainbow Dash, but as co-captain of the Wonderbolts, I should suspect that her standards are rather high, thank you very much." He said stiffly, fiddling idly with the chain around his neck. Contrail smirked again and leant with one elbow on the surface they were eating off.

"Soarin I'm gonna be honest with ya, the only thing I saw you getting in a long term relationship with before now was diabetes." He joked, and Silver Lining laughed so hard that it got a few ponies' attention, not that he cared in the slightest. Soarin huffed and slumped over.

"I'm not that stupid, Contrail. I happen to be a whole New Me-" no sooner had he said this than he heard a clinking noise and was tugged forward. At first he had no idea what was going on before he angled his eyes down and saw that his chain necklace had got caught in the conveyer belt. "Oh horseapples; Silver, Contrail, get outta the way!" Soarin commanded as he was pulled out of his seat and towards the two stallions, who hastily tumbled away from him, Silver Lining falling on his face in the process. As Soarin was pulled around by his necklace, scattering a few patrons and almost getting strangled at one point, he was forced to climb onto the conveyer belt to avoid getting stuck (and decapitated) at a table.

"Just undo it!" Silver called over all the shouting that was going on.

"I can't! I'm sorry!" Soarin felt compelled to apologise, not just to Silver Lining but to literally everypony here since he was currently ruining their fun, the food, and the restaurant's property. On his way down the belt, Soarin smashed some glasses and knocked over some dishes, some of which the waiters tried to salvage. "Sorry!" Soarin called again, wishing he'd just die to save himself from this humiliation. He caught sight of Silver and Contrail on the far right of the room by now, Silver Lining with widened eyes and a hoof clasped over his mouth and Contrail trying to avert his gaze from the co-captain but not seeming to be able to. Soarin passed by a waitress and shifted the way he was sitting. "I do apologize for riding your conveyer thingy." He said as he accidentally swept a can of Pegapsi off the counter with his tail.

"Oh Soarin, you're such a dork." Contrail finally looked away with a harsh voice, missing it when Soarin mouthed 'sorry' again. Finally, he managed to tug himself free from his situation.

"I'm unstuck now!" he proclaimed, though he didn't move. "Ya know, I'm just gonna ride the whole way round." He added, since he couldn't destroy anything now that he wasn't freaking out.

"This is humiliating." Contrail whispered to Silver Lining, who tried covering his face with one wing. As one final act of stupidity, Soarin grabbed a bottle on Colta Cola and poured it into a pony's glass as he passed by her, giving her a weak smile as he rode on. Then at last he was back where he started and he clambered off the conveyer belt and returned to his seat, trying to pretend that it had never happened and it was some kind of 'daymare'.

"So where were we?" He asked, getting blank looks from Silver and Contrail. Suddenly Soarin noticed a waiter and a stallion in a suit and tie that looked suspiciously like a store manager thrust the staff room door open.

"Leaving!" Silver ushered Soarin out of his chair and the three stallions made their escape, barging through the doors and flying off, not daring to look behind them.

---

Fifteen minutes later Soarin, Contrail and Silver were sitting in the kitchen, Contrail musing about how he had never actually eaten in there and Silver slurping down the orange juice he'd been given. Apart from the three stallions, Cinder was the only other pony there since Braeburn had left her in charge while he went to help Wave Chill fix something in the staff room.

"Okay, I'll get you anything you want, just say it." Cinder chirped with a big grin on that adorable face of hers. Soarin had noticed that she was a lot more confident when she was in the kitchen; must be Braeburn's influence, and he was sure he had influenced her a whole lot since she had started saying 'ding dang it' whenever she spilt something just like the earth pony usually did. It was kinda sweet.

"Thanks kid," Contrail winked down at the little blue mare, getting her to smile even bigger. "Um…" he looked down that at the menu that Cinder had made especially for ponies who dined in the kitchen (she even did them in crayon! How cute could this mare get?!) "I could wolf a crumble but… just a herbal tea." Contrail placed his order and Cinder, saying that she wanted to pull this off as if it were a real diner, wrote it down on a pad she had grabbed. Silver was next.

"Um… I could just inhale a plate of fritters, but… just the apple chips, please." He told Cinder, who nodded and wrote it down. Of course Soarin tried to do the same thing his idols were doing with their orders. He cleared his throat, wanting to give The New Him another shot.

"Oh I could just scoff an apple pie… oh for the apple pie… think of the apple pie…" he paused for a few seconds. "…just the apple pie, please." He finally said, getting a giggle out of Cinder and an eye roll from Silver Lining. When Cinder left to get the stuff, Silver Lining and Contrail started talking about some political stuff that he didn't care about so he went over to Cinder to see if he could lend a hoof. The New Him was going to be a helpful pony.

"Hey, Cinder," he greeted, sitting on a chair by the fridge, "need any help there?"

"No thanks," Cinder declined, "I wanna try doing this by myself." Soarin suddenly became curious.

"Hey, why the hay are you doing Braeburn's job for him? Is he paying you? He'd better be." He mainly just wanted to cheat some money out of his friend. Cinder shrugged.

"I just really wanna do this, Soarin. I… I need to confess something." She hung her head low as she fished some herbs out of a tin.

"Don't we all?" Soarin asked in his wisest voice, thinking it something that a smart pony would say. Judging from Cinder's reaction this wasn't right. He needed to back it up with a smart quote or something. Crud- besides 'nothing gold can stay' he didn't know any smart things to say. "Um… when life gives you lemons, you'd better go grab some sugar and water because otherwise your lemonade is gonna suck." He decided to say. This obviously just confused Cinder even further, and he decided to give up. "What's on your mind?" Soarin finally asked. Cinder sighed and leaned against the fridge.

"I… I really thought this Wonderbolt thing was right for me," the little blue pegasus began. "but as of late I've found out that I just… I just don't enjoy it as much as working in here with Braeburn." She smiled weakly before her ears drooped down. "But if I don't become a Wonderbolt I'll never prove to the others that what I am doesn't limit what I can do."

Soarin had a whole bunch of questions right now. Who were 'the others'? What was Cinder aside from a sweet little pegasus? Who the hell would enjoy being around Braeburn all day? Cinder sighed and pressed the tip of her hoof against the bridge of her muzzle.

"I feel like I'm at crossroads," she said weakly. "I don't wanna force myself to do something I don't want to do, but at the same time I'm never going to prove anything to anyone if I just suddenly stop. That's the opposite of what I came here to do."

Soarin was no good in these types of situation, but fortunately he was saved from having to do any kind of help when Rainbow Dash and Lullaby flapped in over the counter. Boy, it was a good thing Braeburn wasn't there to see that because he totally would have scolded them for 'molting in the food'.

"Hey Cinder, guess what!" Lullaby chirped as she trotted up to her little blue friend, who was stirring Contrail's tea.

"What is it?" Cinder asked with the spoon in her mouth, making it sound a little muffled. Lullaby folded a wing over Rainbow's back.

"Dash's nickname in high school was 'Maverick'! Awesome, right?!" Lullaby revealed. Cinder looked completely lost.

"I don't get it." She finally said. Lullaby chuckled.

"You've never seen the movie Top Bolt have you?" She asked, getting a shake of the head in response from Cinder. The purple mare sat down and explained that Maverick was the main character in the movie and told her the basics of the plot, making sure to avoid any spoilers in case Cinder decided to watch the film.

"Wow, Dash, you must have really stood out as a great flyer," Cinder smiled, and Dash puffed up her chest.

"It's impossible for me not to stand out," she bragged, "I mean just check out how awesome my mane is."

Soarin realized that this was the perfect chance for him to try out The New Him on Rainbow Dash. "Hey Dashie," He greeted, getting down from his chair and dipping down on one hoof into a bow position. From the face Rainbow Dash made he assumed that he had just done yet another stupid thing. He moved to stand straight but as he relaxed his contracted leg muscles he let out a rather loud fart, making him gasp and stand rigid. "Sorry!" He said for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "That was my dog." He suddenly said.

"What was…?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking around at everypony staring at Soarin like he was a caged animal or something.

"That noise." Soarin replied, hoping she'd buy it.

"Oh, I thought it was that chair scraping," she nodded to the seat behind Soarin. Soarin nodded.

"It was!" He said before he could process anything.

"Then… what was the dog thing about?" Dash asked.

"I don't have a dog, Dash, you should know this. Perhaps it was your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

"Well could you stop saying that you do?"

"Oh my gosh, is that CONTRAIL?!" Rainbow Dash suddenly yelled, releasing Soarin from his awkward bubble of humiliation. The light blue ex-Wonderbolt looked over at the excited mare and smirked.

"Rainbow Dash, right? It's about time I met you." He said. Rainbow Dash clumsily trotted over to him, muttering 'ohmygosh' under her breath.

"Y-y-you know who I am?" She asked, biting her lip to keep herself from squeeing. Contrail chuckled and nodded.

"Of course- Silver Lining tells me all about you, and how you keep breaking records and pulling of Sonic Rainbooms, heck didn't you save three Wonderbolt's lives once?" he asked. Rainbow nodded, and Soarin looked away with embarrassment- he didn't exactly like to remember falling to his death.

"I can't believe that you know all that about me," Rainbow Dash's face lit up with a nervous blush. "you're one of the greatest Wonderbolts of the last generation."

"Ha, well it's always nice to meet a fan," he grinned at her again. "so do you think you can wear the uniform someday?"

"Of course I do!" Rainbow Dash stood in the same position she stood in during drills, eyes narrowed and chest raised with all four legs straight.

"Hmm…" Contrail looked Dash up and down. "you got spunk and I like that- I can practically see you in that suit already… Maverick." He winked and Rainbow finally did squee a little at being called by her old school nickname. And then (she must have been hanging around Soarin too much) she started to sing.

"Headin' into twilight

Spreadin' out her wings tonight

She got you jumpin' off the deck

And shovin' into overdrive!"

She sang a verse from the song 'Danger Zone'. Contrail, Silver and the others found it funny while Cinder still looked lost since she hadn't seen Top Bolt. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash had started a chain reaction of ponies singing songs from the movie, and I'll give you one guess as to who the pony that sang was? Got it? Probably.

"Watching every motion

In my foolish lover's game…"

"Sorry, it's just a hard song to stop singing," Soarin tried to say before spewing the lyrics out again.

"On this endless ocean

Finally lovers know no shame…"

"I'm going again…" He tried to stop to no avail, standing there awkwardly while every pair of eyes was super glued to him.

"Turning and returning

To some secret place inside…"

He chuckled before an idea popped into his head. "LOOK IT'S A THING!" He yelled, pointing towards the left side of the room. While everypony was distracted he hurdled over the serving counter and got the hay out of there.

---

Soarin sprung into the staff room where Braeburn and Wave Chill were drinking coffee, clearly having fixed… whatever it was they were fixing. By the looks of the duct tape on the table next to the couch nearest the door somepony (probably Lightning Streak) had danced on it at some point. Yes, it's happened before.

"Braeburn, Braeburn, Braeburn, Braeburn, Braeburn, Braeburn, Braeburn-"

"Ah'm drinkin'!" The earth pony spluttered through his mouthful of the drink. Soarin placed his front hooves on the surface of the coffee counter and looked up at his golden furred friend with a serious look on his face.

"I have to rant." He said.

"Oh Celestia, why?" Braeburn slid a hoof down his face and rolled his eyes in agony.

"The old Wonderbolt Contrail is here for a visit, Cinder's in distress, and I tried testing out The New Me," he revealed, "but The New Me is currently worse than The Old Me."

"That ain't possible." Braeburn shook his head.

"I farted in front of Dash, blamed it on an imaginary dog, and sung in her face." Soarin deadpanned with a blank expression. Braeburn and Wave Chill just stared at him with their mouths gaping open as if he had completely broke their brains. "I give up." He announced. Wave Chill raised a hoof.

"Hey now, I've got an idea. Why don't you try that life coach again?" He suggested. Soarin's pupils shrunk and he almost gasped.

"Heck no!" He kicked the idea away.

FLASHBACK

In a small room, a few ponies were all sitting on the floor with balloons in their mouths. A pony at the front of the class spoke to them in a relaxed voice while gesturing to the whiteboard beside her which read 'Breathing.'

"Imagine your anxieties filling the balloon," she told all the ponies. "let it all out in there."

The ponies in the class did as they were told, breathing gently into their balloons. At the back of the room however, one pale blue stallion's balloon had already inflated to about half the size of him. And then without warning it burst right there and then, frightening everypony else into releasing their balloons, so that the room was full of the sound of fart noises as the balloons whizzed around, and Soarin's shrieking.

"GAH! My anxieties are everywhere!" He shouted, wafting them away. "Save yourselves!"

END OF FLASHBACK

"I don't know how things could get worse." Soarin leant on the counter with his head propped up on his elbow. And then Lightning Streak trotted through the door.

"Soarin, I've been kicked out of Fire's place so I'm gonna live with you." He informed his co-captain, who promptly face planted the counter.

"Not again, Lightning!" Soarin said, his voice muffled by the counter. He then remembered something and he spun around to face the blonde stallion. "Actually Lightning, I just remembered that one of the beds is broken so you can't stay."

"How did you break your bed?" Wave Chill asked. Soarin and Braeburn shared an embarrassed glance.

"Me and Braeburn were playing 'Catch that grape' last night." He said. When Wave Chill asked for a further explanation, Soarin realised that he had to explain the rules of the game. "I bounced on the bed while Braeburn threw grapes at me, and I got a point every time I caught one in my mouth… I must have bounced too hard and the frame broke. Heh…"

"Never again." Braeburn said simply.

"But hey," Lightning spoke with a positive voice, "Fire's bound to want me back by tomorrow 'cause it's taco night and I'm the one who cooks."

"Really?" Braeburn asked in disbelief. Lightning nodded.

"Yep, just because he was born 37 seconds before me doesn't mean that I can't be better than him at certain things." He said in a slightly bitter tone, though he kept a proud expression on his face. Soarin had to put an end to this.

"Lightning, don't you remember what happened the last time you stayed at my place?" Soarin hated thinking of it. Lightning sighed.

"I… turned on the taps while you were taking a shower." He confessed, and Soarin was appalled to hear Braeburn chuckling behind him. He then realised he'd forgotten to ask-

"Why did Fire kick you out anyway?"

Lightning blinked a couple of times and looked awkwardly off to the side.

"You're kidding me right? Do you ever learn?" How was Lightning not bored of that prank by now? But now that the subject was on Soarin's mind, he decided that he may as well get one job done with for the day. "Well, I'm gonna go and buy a new bed." He announced, heading to the door.

"In the middle of the work day, sir?" Wave Chill asked, glancing up at the clock, which read that it was three in the afternoon. Soarin nodded and grinned.

"I'm starting to like the fact that nopony gives a damn whether you leave or not. Remember back in the days of last week when Spit wouldn't let you hear the end of it… it's also cool to call her Spit without fearing for your life." He added, and Lightning nodded in agreement. Soarin then took his leave, whistling as he walked down the hall.

---

Now Braeburn was left alone with Lightning Streak and Wave Chill, all the while feeling hopelessly guilty. He was the one that had caused all of this craziness to happen; because of him, rules were being broken, ponies were shutting themselves away, and this place was basically turning into the opposite of what a workplace should be. He just wished that he could help…

"Yo, Brae, are you in there?" Wave Chill waved a hoof in front of his face, and for the first time Braeburn realised that he had totally drifted into his own head. Braeburn nodded at the dark blue stallion to his left and faked a smile. Ever since the shopping incident, Braeburn had become good friends with Wave Chill, finding that his calm and sensible personality balanced out Soarin's goofiness very evenly. He also found that Wave was the pony to go to if you needed some help with your troubles, like that one time he'd asked Wave if he was being too harsh on Soarin- he'd never say it to his pale blue friend's face, but he often worried that his level-headedness would drive the pegasus away.

Wait…

Maybe Wave really could help him with all his problems.

"Um, Wave Chill?" Braeburn asked nervously. "Can Ah ask ya somethin'?"

Wave chuckled. "Of course, Brae; what's up?"

It was at that point that the earth pony realised he had no idea what he was going to say. He was too embarrassed to just explain the full situation, so he just needed to paraphrase it or something right? Yeah, just make it out like it isn't even his problem. Nopony would suspect a thing.

"Okay, well…" he began lamely. "Ah have this friend… his name is, uh, Blueberry. Yeah, Blueberry- his parents called 'im that 'cause it's kinda a fruit themed family-" he cut himself off and mentally shouted at himself.

"No! That's too obvious!"

"Okay…" He regained his calm stance. "so this friend of mine, who isn't from a fruit themed family… or an earth pony. He's definitely not an earth pony!" He got a head shake from a smirking Wave Chill, and a shrug from Lightning, who was listening from the couch nearest to them. "Well… he has a crush on the mare who runs the academy he works at-" he stopped again.

"No, that's a dead giveaway!"

"Lemme start over." Braeburn insisted. "So-"

"BRAE!" Wave and Lightning said simultaneously. The earth pony looked at each of them

"What?" He asked.

"We know you like Spitfire."

…

…?

…HUH?!

"Who told you?!" Braeburn began to panic. "Was it Soarin? How could you know?!"

Cue Flashback Montage

Number 1:

Braeburn and Soarin were sitting on the three seated couch on the right side of the staff room with Lightning Streak, who was reading a magazine with rather explicit content. Spitfire was with Surprise at the coffee counter, the former lecturing the latter about something she seemed to be bored by. Braeburn, a dreamy look on his face, mused out loud:

"Her mane looks so soft… Ah wonder what conditioner she uses…"

Unbeknownst to him and Soarin, Lightning's mouth curled into a small smirk.

Number 2:

Soarin stood next to "Braeburn the Roadie" as they prepared to depart for the air show. Soarin was telling Braeburn the ropes while Wave Chill stood nearby, trying to tuck the zipper for his flight suit out of sight. The co-captain was in the middle of telling Braeburn how to set up the smoke machine when he noticed that his friend's gaze was fixed on something behind him, so he peered over his shoulder.

Spitfire and Misty Fly were talking by the back of the group, Spitfire saying something about how she was worried that the flight suit she was wearing was too baggy around the chest area, with Misty Fly telling her with a shake of her head how she was wrong. Soarin was about to turn back to Braeburn and mutter something like 'Pfft, mare troubles' when his friend shouted out (so loud that it got literally everypony's attention).

"SPITFIRE, YOU ARE RESPLENDENT!"

Was there an awkward after-pause?

Yes. Yes there was.

Number 3:

Soarin sighed as Braeburn rifled through the mail Derpy had given him. Lightning Streak was sitting at the table closest to the serving counter so he was in earshot of what Soarin and Braeburn were talking about.

"I still can't believe you're paying Derpy extra to give you Spitfire's mail just so you have an excuse to talk to her." The pale blue stallion rolled his eyes. Braeburn just huffed.

"Ah think it's a clever idea; one that Ah'm pleased t' have thought of." He insisted in an uncharacteristically stuck-up voice. Soarin tutted and snuck another slice of pie from behind Braeburn's back; when his friend was thinking up some stupid plan to talk to the captain there was no reaching him until he emerged from the depths of his fantasies.

"If you ask me this whole thing is a little desperate." Soarin grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and began unscrewing the lid, but he stopped when Braeburn spoke again.

"It's not desperate, Ah just like talkin' t' her. It's better than last month when Ah kept on freezin' whenever she's around; you should be proud that Ah'm makin' an effort instead o' askin' fer yer help. And Ah'm talkin' 'bout somepony as intimidatin' and beautiful as Miss Spitfire here, and do ya remember back in school when Ah couldn't speak in front o' anythin' that was female- including our classroom guinea pig? Ah've come a long way from there, right Soar? And hopefully it'll all pay off someday an' Ah'll win the heart o' the mare o' mah dreams…" he finished with a goofy grin. Soarin glanced down at the bottle of water he was holding, and then put it on the table in front of his earth pony friend.

"Here Brae, I think you need this more than me." He joked, and Braeburn gave him an unamused stare.

But neither of them had hearing good enough to hear Lightning Streak mutter "He's doomed."

End Flashback Montage

"Was Ah really… that obvious?" Braeburn gulped, a lump forming in his throat and his cheeks flushing pink; man, he hated it when that happened.

"Kinda sorta," Wave Chill shrugged. "but why are you telling us this?"

"Um…" Braeburn started. "well Ah kinda wanna talk t' her about somethin' Ah screwed up, but she doesn't wanna see me, and Ah ain't seen 'er since it happened, and-"

"Wait." Wave halted him midway through his explanation. "What did you do?"

Oh crap, that was the question he didn't want to answer. "Er… Ah might have… said some stuff that she didn't like." When he saw the two stallion's looks of bewilderment he backed up a little. "Ah mean that… Ah don't even know what Ah did wrong; she just flipped out when Ah said she was a great flyer."

Wave Chill and Lightning Streak looked at each other, and after searching their expressions for a few seconds, both of them shrugged. "Sorry man," Lightning said, "we don't know why she wouldn't like that."

Braeburn sighed in defeat, though he was relieved that two more ponies knew of his little crush. Though if they'd figured it out without him knowing then he was concerned as to how many other ponies knew about it. If Lightning knew then Fire Streak would probably know too, and there were plenty of observant ponies around. Aw geez, how could he be such an open book?

"Please don't tell anypony else." He pleaded with them. He really didn't know if he could handle anyone else knowing- he had barely been comfortable with the fact that two ponies knew before now! Wave zipped his lip, and Lightning shrugged again.

"Your secret's safe with us." Lightning insisted. Braeburn rubbed his forehead with a hoof and groaned.

"Well it looks like it ain't much of a secret." He said forlornly, fiddling with the rim of his hat for a few seconds. Lightning snorted and kicked his legs onto the arm of the sofa he was reclining on.

"Ya got that right," he chortled as Braeburn went back to silently sipping his now lukewarm coffee. "You wouldn't know subtle if it hit you in the face."

---

Soarin lay down on a bed in the middle of Beds R Us. He shifted his weight around to see if it was bouncy enough and making the occasional humming noise when he sensed a problem. "Not bad…" he decided to say before rolling off the mattress and standing up straight next to the slightly chubby sales mare.

"If you like that bed there's a free sheet offer." She informed the co-captain. Soarin noticed that the mare was puffing out her chest so everyone could see the tie he had signed for her. Soarin gasped and speed-walked over to another bed, a bunk bed that looked like a medieval castle, a ladder inside an inflatable tower that reached to the top bed, and a slide going down from it.

"This looks like a bunch of fun," he giggled like a schoolpony, imagining himself goofing around on it. "All I'd need is a ball pool at the bottom of the slide and mornings would be awesome!"

"Yeah, those things are great for kids." The salespony agreed, and Soarin nodded, inhaling sharply.

"Of course… I wasn't thinking that I should get it for myself." He said while trying not to sound too defensive. Soarin walked down the aisle a little more, finally stopping at a blue sheeted bed with two pillows that looked almost like marshmallows. The closest Soarin had been to having marshmallows as pillows was when he'd had a dream that he was eating a massive one and woke up with half a pillow in his mouth. "This one's cool." He muttered with a small grin as he remembered that dream.

"You can try it…" the sales mare glanced to her left. "I just need to speak to this gentlecolt, but it has a lovely rigid frame… the bed, not the gentlecolt." She added with a chuckle before taking her leave. No sooner had she gone than a different mare, a customer this time, walked up to Soarin.

"Excuse me, can you tell me how much these sheets are?" She asked him, running a hoof along the blue sheets of the bed Soarin was checking out. Soarin was confused for a moment before realising that this mare clearly thought that he worked here. Darn it, he had to avoid humiliation at all costs.

"Oh, I don't actually; um… they're about nine bits." He decided to say, thinking that it couldn't go wrong as long as he was honest about it.

"And do the beds come ready-assembled?" The mare asked another question, and Soarin felt stumped.

"I don't know, I really have no idea… can you please stop asking me questions?" He really hoped that he hadn't sounded too rude. Judging by the mare's response he had indeed.

"Well there's no need for that attitude," she quipped. Soarin raised his voice a little to get his point across.

"I'm not-"

Not fast enough. "Excuse me, are you the manager?" The mare called to a tall lanky stallion in a white uniform. He nodded for her to speak. "This guy's being a jerk."

"I am not-"

"Hey, don't argue with the customers," the manager cut him off, and Soarin's panic alarm started ringing in his ears. He patted the mare on the shoulder. "Don't worry ma'am, I'll sort this mess out. You must be the new guy, so where's your name badge?" He walked over to the checkout station. Soarin tried to talk again.

"No, there's been a mistake. I don't-"

"This must be you," the manager handed him a badge that read 'Charlie'.

"But I-"

"Don't talk back at me!" The manager snapped at him, and Soarin froze up. "Now get your butt down to the warehouse. Don't just stand there with your mouth open like that, you'll catch flies." As he walked off Soarin tried to give chase, even though the manager would hear none of it. Soarin tried to make himself heard, but then once the manager shut himself away in a back room, the pegasus decided that there was only one thing to do…

---

"I think this has gotten completely out of hoof!" Soarin panicked as he drove a forklift across a platform, the mattresses he was carrying tilting from side to side as he drove unsteadily. After two hours of bumping into things and dropping mattresses in the path of other forklifts Soarin was allowed to have a break, where he found himself inside small room with several other employees. One of them, a stallion named High Spirits, made conversation with him once they started eating cookies.

"So Charlie, you got a marefriend?" He asked in a cockney accent. Soarin blinked in befuddlement before remembering that he was still wearing the Charlie name tag. Oh well, what's the harm in playing along?

"Yes, yes he does." He announced, raising his head with pride. High Spirits swallowed his mouthful and leaned back in the small wooden chair he was resting in.

"She treat you okay?" He asked. Soarin nodded, wondering where this guy was going with this. "Good on you, there ain't many good mare's out there nowadays so we gotta hold on to them sweet l'il ones," He gestured around to the other stallions in the room. "Cos we all said the other day that we should renounce mares, do ya know what I'm sayin'?"

"Yes, I do know what you're saying." Soarin didn't understand why younger ponies had to add questions at the end of all their sentences. It was ever so slightly irritating. "Yeah I do, sounds rad, bring it on mah bros." -" he realised that he was mimicking High Spirit's accent. High Spirits carried on speaking.

"Cos we don't need mares, in't that right?"

"We don't- it ain't every day ya find a mare that treats ya right, so until ya do set up a barrier. They gotta be good enough to pass." Soarin found it weird that he sounded wiser doing this ridiculous accent.

"Yeah, go dude!" High Spirits slapped Soarin on the shoulder. Soarin nodded behind him at the door.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked, and High Spirits raised an eyebrow at him, making Soarin finally understand what he was getting at. "Oh! 'You go dude', I get it now. Go me. Go Charlie! Cos I say to myself this, Charlie, I say, Charlie, you, mah stallion, will not get pushed 'round no more."

"Yeah, ya know what I mean?" High Spirits nodded with approval at Soarin. Soarin nodded slowly.

"Clearly I do cos I just said it." He replied obliviously. Suddenly the mare who had shown Soarin the different beds came through the door into the break room.

"What are you doing back here?" She asked when she laid eyes on Soarin, looking him up and down with curiosity.

"I'm Charlie." Soarin replied, prodding his name tag with a hoof.

"No you aren't." The sales mare looked baffled beyond all reason.

"Says who?" Soarin asked with a raised brow, and the mare replied with a stern:

"I do!"

"Oh do you now, you diddly doo…" Soarin crinkled his nose, confused at himself this time as to why he was suddenly speaking in an Irish accent. The sales mare pointed at the door.

"I think you should leave." She told him, and Soarin stood up, determination sparking in his green eyes.

"Or…" he put a hoof on the ma res shoulder and started pushing her out the door. "I show you the bed I want and get it with an employee discount." He pushed her the remainder of the way out the door and then turned to speak to High Spirits and the other stallions. "Never let them push you around, guys." He grinned, and High Spirits made a 'whoop' noise.

"Go me! Go Charlie!" Soarin left the room to the sound of applause from all the other stallions.

---

"Where have you been?" Braeburn asked. He had been waiting at Soarin's place for a couple of hours now. If this were anyone else's place he would have got fed up and left, but since Soarin had TrotFlix he had just watched TV until his friend arrived.

"I've been doing a four hour shift at the bed shop." Soarin replied casually, dancing a little as he closed the door, and the look of bafflement on Braeburn's face was worth a billion bits! "But," he added. "More importantly, I have discovered my inner Charlie. Go bro!" He pumped his hoof in the air.

Braeburn looked pleased with Soarin's new attitude. "Well Ah think Ah like Charlie." He smiled. Soarin nodded.

"Yeah, he's awesome!" He confirmed, hopping on the couch next to Braeburn. "And he says, that I, well we, for we are one and the same, we should renounce all mares except from Rainbow Dash to prove our/my power."

Braeburn pointed to something behind Soarin. The pegasus turned and almost had a heart attack when he saw Rainbow Dash standing there, looking as if she had just come in from the kitchen, a bag of potato chips in her mouth.

"Oh hi, Dashie," Soarin cleared his throat. "What are you doing here at seven O'clock?"

"Is it a crime that I wanna see my coltfriend?" She asked with a roll of her magenta eyes. "Besides, we didn't get to talk earlier and then you ran off, so I wanted to see what that was all about. Weirdo." She tutted at the end of her sentence. "I also wanted to see if you'd be up for a date to the aquarium in town… but since you're renouncing mares…" she smirked. Soarin shook his head quickly.

"Everypony but you… but if you want to play hard to get I'll just renounce you, too." He crossed one leg over the other and watched the new episode of Sherclop; suddenly remembering that that was his nickname for Rainbow Dash. He wondered if it would annoy her if he started calling her that more. Rainbow shrugged and sat on the other side of Braeburn, who looked a little uncomfortable to be sitting between the couple, and he showed clear signs of wanting to move. Dash seemed to be okay with the renouncement thing… and Soarin didn't want to un-renounce in case he sounded odd and confused, which he was and needed to hide, so he just needed to stallion up and play it smooth. Charlie was not odd and confused; he needed to get his Maverick.

Soarin squeed internally at that (slightly off) realisation! (#topgun)

Rainbow suddenly spoke over the television. "Now Soarin, I don't like getting 'no' as an answer." She said with a grin. "How far does this renouncement go?"

"Well…" Soarin grabbed at something to say. "…I would say that you are officially renounced." He noticed Braeburn grab the remote and turn the TV up a little, making Soarin speak a little louder. It wasn't necessary but the more it annoyed Braeburn the happier he would be. "But there is a clause in my renouncement that says that if a mare is in a pony's home and asks them on a date while holding a bag of chips then the aforementioned stallion is obliged, or even commanded, to accept." He was surprised at how professional that sounded even though it was completely ridiculous.

"That's a cool clause." Rainbow Dash played along. "Independent, headstrong stallions are the best." She winked at him and Soarin turned a light pink colour. Deciding to act cool again just for the hell of it he put on his more sophisticated voice and winked back, finding it to be exhilarating rather than humiliating.

"Well hello." He grinned, and Rainbow chuckled. Suddenly-

"Soarin!" Lightning Streak called as he came down the stairs, some bedsheets draped across his back. "Check out what your awesome new roommate did for you- I ironed your Nightrider sheets because David Hasselhorse was looking a little funny."

And the moment was officially ruined.

"Um… cool, Lightning, just put it upstairs and I'll fix it up." Soarin called back. The blonde stallion nodded and headed back upstairs, and Soarin became increasingly worried that if he went up there something would be destroyed. He grabbed a carrot from the bowl on the table next to the couch and started munching on it, beginning to stress-eat. Whenever Lightning stayed something went wrong. The pony in question stuck his head back down the stairwell.

"I'm also gonna dust everything to show you how I can be such an incredible roommate," he said in an angelic voice. Soarin got up and headed to the bottom of the stairs, Lightning standing at the top. Before he could get a word in, Lightning spoke instead.

"And when is that bed of yours gonna arrive, 'cause we're not sharing the guest bed."

"Well maybe one of us should leave." Soarin hinted, pointing to the front door.

"Where would you go?" Lightning asked, oblivious to Soarin's reluctance for him to stay. "And don't worry; if my famous fondue doesn't make Fire ask me to live with him again he'll be desperate for my quiche."

Soarin sat back on the couch once Lightning had vanished, shoving one end of the carrot he was holding into his mouth and crossing his arms over his chest to pout.

"Don't worry," Braeburn leaned back against the cushions. "We'll force him out. Now what does he hate?" the earth pony questioned, wearing a 'plan face'.

"I dunno," Soarin replied with his voice muffled due to the carrot in his mouth. "I'm too mad to think thtraight… well, ghoathts, he hateth ghoathts, but how'th that gonna work?"

"Listen, you're getting too stressed out, Soar. Should we leave now to get away from Lightning for a while?" Dash suggested, beginning to stand up anyway. Soarin nodded and swallowed his carrot, wanting to leave before Lightning Streak gave him a migraine. Was this was Braeburn felt like when he acted stupid… wow, he needed to give his friend more credit; this was really hard.

"After you, milady." Soarin did his knight bow and held the door open for Rainbow Dash, who gave him a swat round his head with her tail as she left.

"Thank you Sir Skies," she chuckled as her tail vanished through the door, and once again Soarin took a mental note that he needed to start calling her Sherclop again.

---

It was eight O'clock when Rainbow Dash and Soarin started heading back to Soarin's place. Dash was aware that it was almost curfew but it wouldn't hurt to see Soarin back, would it? The aquarium had actually been pretty small, and by the time they got there they had less than an hour to check the stuff out, but Dash had gotten a stuffed whale in the gift shop… she had been disappointed to find that there were no actual whales, but this made up for it.

"It's cool how it's always light out when it's supposed to be dark in summer isn't it?" Soarin murmured as they went inside. Dash thought that staying for a quick cup of cocoa and then getting back ASAP couldn't harm anyone, so she agreed to go inside.

"Yeah, it's great that there are a few extra hours of sunlight," the weathermare in Dash almost told him about the perks of there being a lot of sunshine but she stopped herself in case she sounded like an egghead. Soarin went to hang up his officers uniform... and then he turned around and shoved it in the washer/drier because he had been wearing it all day and it probably smelled like a two week old mouldy pizza.

"Whoa, did your place look this fancy when we left?" Rainbow Dash called him back in from the kitchen. Soarin finally noticed that there were a few candles lit up around the living room and even a few vases of flowers.

"Oh… yes?" He decided to say, trying to put on a poker face. "This was all here earlier; you just probably didn't notice it without the candles being lit… Braeburn must have lit them while we were out." He sent a silent thanks to Braeburn even though he couldn't hear it, and thankfully Rainbow seemed to buy his story. Rainbow Dash grabbed a cookie off a plate beside a vase and bit into it, the look on her face suggesting that they tasted divine.

"Did you make these?" She asked, licking her lips and taking another bite. Soarin hesitated before nodding.

"Uh-huh," was all he said, beginning to feel a little guilty for lying.

"What did you use?" She asked. "I've gotta get the recipe so I can make some more… these are the best things I've ever eaten!"

Trying not to feel jealous of what was obviously Braeburn's work, Soarin tried to think of what his friend would make cookies with. "Um... flour… food, er, hobs, nobs…" he couldn't think of anything else.

"Nutmeg," Braeburn hissed from around the side of Soarin's trophy cabinet.

"Nutmeg- WHOA!" Soarin slapped a hoof over his mouth as he shrieked at Braeburn's sudden appearance. Rainbow Dash gave him a weird look and Soarin tried to cover up his slip. "Whoa… whoa, I'm just a nut for nutmeg!" He said with a smile, though inside he was having a nervous breakdown. He'd wanted the house to be empty so he could be a little cooler around Dash. He didn't know what was wrong with him but for some reason he couldn't act as affectionate with Dash when there were other ponies around than he could if they were alone, so of course Braeburn had to ruin that… though it was kinda nice that he was trying to help Soarin with the whole 'New Him' plan. He might actually have to thank him when all of this was over. If he survived, that is.

"I'm just gonna use the little filly's room," Rainbow excused herself and headed for the bathroom. Soarin maintained his smile for a few seconds but as soon as he heard the bathroom door click shut he rushed over to Braeburn and tugged him to his hooves.

"What are you doing here?!" Soarin whisper-shouted, even though Braeburn just shushed him anyway.

"Ah didn't think she'd come back and Ah left the key t' mah house at the Academy. Ah came back here t' borrow yer spare key but Ah don't know where ya keep it." He explained. Soarin felt relieved that he could get Braeburn out of the way quickly. "Lightning went out someplace so ya don't need t' worry 'bout 'im fer the time bein'." The earth pony added. Soarin opened up a kitchen drawer and took out a stack of pie tins, lifting the first four up and reaching between them to get the key. However he was shocked to find that he couldn't feel it, and when he lifted the tins up completely he saw that it was not in there at all.

"Um…" Soarin suddenly remembered something.

"What?" Braeburn asked, concern splattering onto his face. Soarin gulped and bit his lip.

"I don't have the key here… but I do remember where it is." He recalled a time from last week. Braeburn raised a hoof into the air.

"Well where is it then?" He asked, a little impatiently.

"…in your house." Soarin admitted. Braeburn blinked once, and then twice more.

"Why?!" He asked, a little shriller than Soarin would have liked. The Wonderbolt co-captain looked off to the side, avoiding his friends gaze.

"Well last week I wanted a cup of coffee so I went over to your place to get some milk and must have left the key in there."

"You're the milk thief!" Braeburn gasped, slapping a hoof to the side of his face with his mouth hanging open. "Ah thought Ah was losin' mah marbles but there was a part o' me that just knew that carton felt lighter!"

"Shut up!" Soarin waved his hooves to get Braeburn to zip it. This was no time for one of their stupid arguments. He heard the toilet flush and those darn alarm bells started rattling in his skull. He needed to do something! So he shoved Braeburn behind the couch just in the nick of time for Dash to get out of the bathroom.

"Soarin, your bathroom is amazing!" She commented, raising a hoof and smelling the back of it. "I can't believe you have cupcake body spray… or body spray at all." She joked, and Soarin forced a laugh despite the terror that was rising in his stomach and making his insides chill.

"So… do you want some cocoa?" Soarin offered, and Dash gave him a nod.

"Sure, and don't forget the whipped cream." She told him. Soarin waited until she was sitting down before heading into his kitchen and making the beverages.

"Ya know Soarin; you really know how to keep a cool home… I'm surprised because you've always seemed like such a slob." Dash commented with a laugh. Soarin had no idea if that was supposed to be an insult or a compliment, but knowing his marefriend it was probably intended to be both.

"Use the nice mugs!" Braeburn hissed, peering around the corner into the kitchen.

"What was that?" Rainbow called, and Soarin could hear the sound of the TV being turned on.

"Use the nice mugs…" Soarin did his best impression of Braeburn, which wasn't all that bad really. "…I said to myself." He added for extra precaution. He clinked the two mugs of cocoa together purely to calm himself down and then headed into the living room, where Dash was watching The Big Barn Theory which was the first television programme in Equestria's history to allow farm animals to act. In Soarin's opinion it was a stupid idea to treat pigs and sheep and other farmyard creatures like animals; they had feelings too!

"Get out!" He whispered as he passed Braeburn, looking a little cramped from his spot behind the sofa.

"Thanks," Rainbow said to Soarin as he gave her the cocoa, and as calmly as he could he sat down next to her and tried to focus on the joke Coward and Henny were partaking in on the TV screen. "And I'm happy you agreed to go out with me today; it was short, I know, but it was fun anyway." She smiled, and Soarin felt his fear replacing itself with pride. It had been pretty enjoyable.

Soarin suddenly felt his mane being messed with, and when he rolled his eyes up to see a pair of light gold hooves trying to straighten it out. He smacked one of them with his own hoof and when Rainbow Dash gave him a weird look he just pretended that he had been running a hoof through his hair.

"Yeah," he stammered as he felt the fear returning to him. "I don't always feel in the mood to renounce, hence the clause." He referred to his lie from earlier. He almost had a heart attack when Braeburn popped up behind Rainbow Dash with the flask of cocoa and started refilling her mug without her noticing. Thankfully she didn't notice.

"Hey, can I get some more cocoa?" She asked, right on time. Soarin didn't take his eyes away from hers as he replied.

"There ya go."

Rainbow looked down at her mug and her eyes widened a little before she looked back at Soarin with bewilderment plastered onto her features. "You sure do have everything under control, that's pretty hot." She admitted, leaning over to him and kissing his cheek, giggling in that usual fashion of hers when he turned red. Would she ever get bored of doing that? Braeburn then popped up again and gave Soarin an approving wink.

"HEY!" He exclaimed before Dash could turn around. "Isn't it almost curfew?"

Rainbow gasped as she looked up at the clock. "Ten minutes?! Darn it, I'd better dash!" She got up and gave him one more kiss on the end of his nose before whizzing out the door, leaving her rainbow trail behind her. Soarin sunk into the sofa and let out a sigh of relief, glad that it was all over and he could chill out. But he soon discovered that he was too stressed out to relax, and he also had one more job to do.

"Brae?" He asked weakly.

"Yes?" replied Braeburn.

"Could you help me change the bedsheets in the guest room?" He asked. Braeburn gave him a weird look.

"Why?" He answered the question with another question. Soarin had a rant coming on, so he sat up and took a deep breath because this was going to take a lot of explaining.

"When you're changing your sheets do you ever lose your mind?" When he was met with a head shake, Soarin went into more detail. "Allow me to explain: First you need to get the fitted sheets on the mattress so you pull it over one corner, then you go for the next and you start getting scared… ever so slowly you pull the sheet towards the next corner, it's getting more and more tense, and then PING! PING! NOOOOO!" Soarin mimed the corners of the fitted sheets flicking off their designated places. "And then," he hadn't finished yet, "You try doing the duvet, and to get it straight you try unfolding it but it always somehow tucks inside, and then you wind up putting it on the floor and crawling inside it," he got on the floor, " and turning it around so that the corners meet the right corners." He stood up again, beginning to get a manic look in his eyes. "I feel like I'm on an army assault course by now but I climb out and tell myself that I just need to do the poppers now. So I do up the poppers… I get to the end… and I've obviously lost my focus… because there is one popper left that does not have a friend to pop with! EVERY TIME!" He fell back on the couch and sucked in a deep breath since his rant had taken a toll on his lungs. Braeburn exhaled slowly and pulled Soarin up.

"Ah kinda do understand." He replied. "Come on, Ah'll help ya out. Looks like Ah'll be sleepin' on the couch tonight."

"Yeah, you take the three-seated couch and I'll take the sofa." He decided, since he liked sleeping while sitting up for some reason. Being a Wonderbolt, ponies would have expected Soarin to have a huge mansion of a house, but in truth that kind of life wasn't for Soarin. Sure, he could have bought a big place to live with all the money he earned, but he liked to spend that on comic books and collectibles; all around his house there were figurines of superheroes and fancy decorations, and his room had a line of shelves along one side filled almost completely with comics… it was kind of an unhealthy obsession, but it kept Soarin happy nonetheless.

They made their way upstairs and headed into the guest room, where there was (thankfully) no broken glass lying around, and no smashed picture frames. Soarin seriously did not trust Lightning Streak in his home.

"Okay, so I put the sheets on the-" Soarin stopped talking as he heard a bleating noise. Slowly, he turned his head to the side and froze as he saw the cause of the noise.

A goat was munching on the curtains.

Soarin blinked a few times to see if he was hallucinating, looked at Braeburn, then the goat, then up through your screen mouthing 'what the heck?'

Braeburn chuckled nervously. "Oh, Ah… forgot t' say…" he trailed off. Soarin held out a hoof towards the farm animal.

"There's an enormous goat in my guest bedroom and you just 'forgot to say'?" He asked his friend, Braeburn gulped and twiddled his hooves.

"Well… ya said that Lightning Streak hates goats." He referred to Soarin telling him what Lightning disliked. Soarin realised that Braeburn had misheard him due to the carrot being in his mouth and pressed his lips together in frustration, putting his forehead in one hoof and trying not to curse.

"Ghosts!" He snapped. "I said ghosts!" He gestured to the animal devouring his curtains. "Who has any strong opinions on goats?!"

Braeburn hesitated before replying quietly. "Well Ah did think it was kinda odd."

"And you didn't even think to check before-"

"Soarin! Braeburn!" Lightning's voice flowed up the stairwell along with the sound of hoofsteps. "Guess what I got? Ingredients to make vegetable lasagna! I hope you're ready for tomorrows amazing meal because it's gonna be deli-wha?!"

He stopped speaking as he entered the room, his face going blank as he saw the animal, and the plastic bag he was holding that contained the food dropped to the ground with a thud as his jaw dropped open. After a few seconds of standing there like fools Braeburn decided to be 'helpful'.

"Awoooooooh," he made a ghost story noise. "Scary, ain't it? Grrrr!" He stopped making noises with his mouth when Soarin slapped him round the back of his head, knocking his stetson over his face. Even though an animal (yes he had indeed gone back on his barnyard animal opinions) was eating his furniture, the tomatoes for the lasagna had probably been smushed, his earth pony friend breathing into his hat sounded like Darth Vader, and he had come close to embarrassing himself, he had to admit that he had indeed proven to Rainbow Dash that he could be a mature stallion and do certain things right, and that was enough to make him show a little smile.

And then the goat peed on the floor.

---

Soarin woke up with a spring in his step, hurling himself off the sofa and heading for the shower, combing his mane in a few swift strokes in front of the bathroom mirror once he was done, piling in some extra hair gel to make it look extra slicked for today. He would never understand how the other 'Bolts kept their hair up so easily without the use of gel. He went into the kitchen and gulped down some mango juice before watering the cactus plant he'd had in the middle of the kitchen table for who-knows-how-long. He grabbed a cookie from a plate and got into his fresh-smelling uniform, tucking a pen into his front pocket while the thought was in his head, wrote a message on a sticky note saying that he'd gone to work early and stuck it to Braeburn's forehead. Then he left, welcoming the cold morning air as he stepped out the door, feeling like one heck of a New Him.

He arrived at the Academy and went straight to the staff room, where only Silver Lining and Contrail were sitting. Contrail had said yesterday that he would start visiting more often and it looked like this time he meant it. He sat on the only available seat on the three-cushioned couch to the left of the two older stallions, who appeared to be doing another crossword.

"Deep and full-sounding- eight letters," Silver Lining mumbled, looking irritated.

"Sonorous." Soarin spoke up. Contrail and Silver Lining looked at him with shock, and Soarin just kept his smile as calm as he could. Silver then began searching for something, and sensing what it was, Soarin reached into his pocket and pulled out the pen he had put in there, tapping it on the page of the paper to get Soarin's attention. The silver stallion blinked at the younger co-captain.

"Who are you and what have you done with Soarin?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Morning!" Two voices sung from the doorway. Soarin saw Rainbow Dash and Soarin peering into the room. Contrail waved at the two of them.

"You two again; it's good to see you're early birds." He nodded up at the clock on the wall. Rainbow Dash shrugged and smiled shyly at being in the presence of the awesome ex-Wonderbolt again.

"Well ya know what they say," Lullaby said, "The first one out at the wake-up call, will eternally be the best of them all."

"You just made that up on the spot, didn't you?" Dash asked bluntly.

"Sort of…" Lullaby admitted, though she still sounded proud of herself.

"Oh hey Soarin," Dash smiled at him. "Last night's date was awesome." Soarin remembered saying that he'd hoped Dash would say that to him at some point, and it had finally happened, filling him with a sense of completion. Actually, now that she had said it he felt the desperation to be a mature stallion melt away inside of him, though he didn't actually acknowledge that until around seven seconds later when this happened:

"Glad ya think so, Dashie." He got up to hug her, but suddenly tripped over some loose carpet, flinging his hind legs into the air and knocking Contrail's coffee off the table and all over him. Yelping in agony, he ran in circles around the room chanting 'HOT! YOWCH! OH MY GOSH! MY BUTT'S ON FREAKING FIRE!'

It was about twenty minutes before they got Soarin to sit and calm down; Dash wasn't much help since she had been laughing the entire time he had been in pain, but he didn't really care at that point as long as he was sitting on a large pack of ice.

"Just breathe, Soarin; I know you're frightened of hot things." Silver soothed him by stroking his back just like he had done back when Soarin was a cadet. Contrail ruffled his hair a little bit as well, and for a short moment Soarin felt like he was young again, spending time with his idols and forging a friendship with them that would never fade away.

"You're gonna be okay, kid," The light blue ex-Bolt winked down at Soarin, who grinned weakly in response, trying to ignore the burning in his hindquarters. He knew he was going to be fine and that it would stop burning in a minute or forty but he kinda felt like he'd just sat on a piping hot bed of nails.

"I know…" Soarin sighed and looked up and Dash, who was still sniggering a little. "So much for being a mature stallion, huh?" He asked. Just then Braeburn walked in.

"Soarin, Ah don't appreciate wakin' up with paper on mah face," he said. "Also, Ah'm convinced that that goat ate yer bunny slippers."

And then of all things to happen next, a police pony came in with the manager from the salad restaurant.

"Excuse me sir, I need to talk to you about the damage you did to this gentlecolt's restaurant." The cop said to Soarin.

And then the sales mare from Beds R Us came through the door with a rather angry looking diminutive stallion. "That's him." she pointed at Soarin, and the little stallion flapped into the air, looking mad as hell.

"I'm Charlie! Stop impersonating me!" He yelled in a rather unnaturally high voice.

Well what else could-

"Kids ball pool for Soarin?" Derpy came into the staff room, pushing a large cardboard box.

There was a short pause before Soarin said something.

"Just another day at the Academy, right Dashie?" He snickered. "I guess The New Me has been a huge failure." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and smiled, reaching an arm around Soarin's shoulders and nuzzling his cheek.

"I think I like The Old You better anyway."

---

Endnote: Holy Celestia's oven-flanks, people! This story has existed for a whole year now! I can't believe that this time last year I was… tell ya what, I'll explain the story's origin at a later date. But time has flown by, and I'm shocked to see how far I've come. I've never been so intent on finishing a story before, and for someone who has never made it past fourteen chapters before it freaks me the heck out that this has doubled the number of chapters of my previous record. I never expected it to get so popular either, but here we are, me writing an endnote for an internationally read fanfiction and you reading it. Writing this sure has changed me, in a good way, that's for sure, and to those of you who have been with me since the beginning, those who are just now up to speed, those who started a few chapters ago, and those reading this three years from now: THANK YOU! You're all amazing people! :)

But to celebrate the one year anniversary of Dashing and Soaring, I thought I'd treat you to something special:

Sassymouse's Random Facts and Scrapped Ideas

Let's get started! Here are some random facts about this story that nobody knows but me… until now.

1. Surprise was never intended to be a main character, but by the time chapter 15 rolled around I needed a funny sidekick for Spitfire and she worked just fine. It was meant to be a one-time thing for her but I had grown to love her too much to not give her a supporting role.

2. Lullaby is based on one of my friends in real life.

3. The Golden Horseshoe Mystery was never supposed to exist, but it made for a good side story so I built on it.

4. A lot of people know that Typhoon is my favourite, and if she had a voice actress it would be Susan Egan, whom you might know as Megara from Hercules.

5. Although Lullaby is based on my friend IRL I came up with her personality specifically with the actress Laura Marano in mind.

6. The trend of almost always having at least one scene in the kitchen per chapter is inspired by the beginning of each Good Luck Charlie episode, which is set in the family's kitchen nearly every time.

7. The four main characters each represent one of the four different kinds of relationship styles. Rainbow Dash is group-dependent, Soarin is co-dependent, Braeburn is independent, and Spitfire is counter-dependent.

8. I've actually written songs for this story (yeah, I can do that) though it's unlikely that any of them will see the light of day.

9. I HATE the title of this story- it was three in the morning when I first published it and I wasn't thinking straight. Dashing and Soaring was just a working title, and if I could rename the story it would be called Staying Gold.

10. I've come up with voice actors for all of the Wonderbolts. LIGHTNING ROUND TIME!

Soarin- Loren Lester

Spitfire- Kelly Metzger (Who else?!)

Fleetfoot- Andrea Baker

Surprise- Sarah Silverman/Amy Poehler (can't decide!)

Misty Fly- Deedee Magno Hall

Rapidfire- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wave Chill- Rob Paulsen

Silver Lining- R. Lee Ermey

Fire Streak- Johnny Galecki

Lightning Streak- Simon Helberg

Blaze- Jane Lynch (First half of what would be the best lesbian combination ever)

High Winds- Ellen DeGeneres (Second half of what would be the best lesbian combination ever)

LIGHTNING ROUND COMPLETE!

11. I name the chapters before writing them, though a lot of the titles changed by the end. For example, Broken Mare was originally Second Chance, Thingamabobs was Racing Thoughts, and Shadows was Up Where We Belong.

12. I came up with the idea for this story on September 21st 2014.

13. I base the structure of the Wonderbolts Academy on my old school since we hardly see any of it in the show.

14. And finally, and hopefully you'll like this last fact, I am already planning a sequel in my head.

END OF THE FACTS!

Now tune in next time where we'll look a little into my pegasi headcanons. Also, I have a riddle for you. What has twelve legs, lots of feathers, and is a recipe for a disaster?

The answer is...

Surprise, Misty Fly, and Spitfire having a slumber party. This can only go wrong.

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, EVERYONE! ;)