A/N: …Why is he still writing this? Why?

Celestia presents her big Anthro Something Something
An "Idiot turns into Celestia" story
Written and co-edited by That Gamer
Co-edited and despised by Hellfillly Deluxe
Special thanks to TheEquestrianIdiot 2.0 for help with the outfit description

"OK, your highness, we're here in your closet," the unnamed guard from before grunted. "You can let go of my neck now."

"Actually, I'd like it a lot better if you stayed right here and helped me balance," Guinness said, still not confident in his ability to stand despite earlier.

"But your highness, wouldn't it be hard to get dressed with you hanging from my neck?" the unnamed guard asked.

"Uh... I dunno."

The unnamed guard didn't say anything to that. Instead, he took Guinness's hands off of him, place then on two random shelves, and walked out of the room.

"...Thanks for the support, I guess," Guinness said after him.

But now that the guard was gone and his hands helping him stay up, Guinness could finally take his mind off of balancing and notice that Anthro Celestia had a big closet. It was pretty much two-thirds of the room, which really surprised Guinness, since he expected her to just have the same dress over and over again with maybe an evening gown or too. But no, there was really an impressive selection.

The admiring didn't last long though, because Dell came in soon after.

"Uhm... Dell, what are you doing here?" Guinness asked.

"Nothing, really," Dell replied flatly. "I just want to make sure you can get dressed fine."

"So you're gonna stand there and watch?" It seemed like a dumb question, but... Yeah, it was a pretty dumb question.

Dell nodded and motioned a hand for Guinness to get started.

"OK... But only if you get naked too."

And it was at that point when Dell gained a mighty surprised look on her face. It seemed that a small fraction of her expected that (about 1/20), but it still wasn't enough to prepare for it. "Uhm... Why?"

"I dunno..." Guinness mumbled. "I-it'll make me more comfortable." There was a lot of truth in that. Guinness, like many other ponies, grew up buck naked and, though it was socially acceptable for ponies to wear things, he just never liked the things. He couldn't explain why either. He just did.

"Fine, fine, I'll play along," Dell said, placing her clipboard and glasses neatly on the floor before beginning to strip... Well, not the sexy kind of stripping. The plain kind where yah just take yer clothes off. But, yeah, Dell did it.

And when she was finished, Guinness noticed that she didn't look half bad. Wasn't really curvy like Anthro Celestia was, but Dell certainly had breasts and a marehood. That was good enough for Guinness.

"Your majesty, your drooling," Dell pointed out.

"Oops, sorry," Guinness muttered, wiping it off. "Uh... I was, uh, thinking about cake."

"I'm sure you were. Now please get changed."

Guinness nodded and started to light up his horn, but that's when Dell said, "With your hands, your majesty."

'Well that's just great...' Guinness thought, looking down at his hands. 'This is gonna be harder then raising the sun. Actually, that was pretty easy, so this might be good as well!'

So Guinness began trying to take Anthro Celestia's gown off. It took a couple of tries and failed attempts, but he eventually managed to get a good grip on it. Actually taking it off wasn't that hard, though it did get caught on his extra long horn at least once. Next was the thong, which Guinness hoped wouldn't be that difficult. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard... Right up until he had to lift his legs to get it off. But when he tried lifting one, he managed to get part of the thong off before losing his balance and falling over backwards onto his backside.

"Ouch... My bum..." Guinness groaned, getting on his hands and knees so he could better rub where it hurt.

To that, Dell just rolled her eyes. And also at that moment, Guinness thought of something and, before he could stop himself, he blurted it out.

"Kiss it better?" Guinness asked, looking back at his assistant.

"Your majesty, I'll get naked for you, but I won't kiss your ass," Dell stated.

"But it hurts!" Guinness whined. "Please? It'll make me feel better!"

"No, your majesty, no."

A big part of Guinness knew he really shouldn't be doing this. Anthro Celestia was a big mare (if her body wasn't any indication), and, obviously, she wouldn't be asking her assistant to kiss her butt wound. But, before Guinness could tell himself "No", he had turned around to give Dell a clear view of his behind, putting on ths saddest face he could, and gave his rump a shake for good measure.

This time, Dell didn't say anything, but neither did Guinness. The two just stared at each for a little while, naturally in complete silence.

"Fine... But only if you stop being insane later today," Dell said. Then, with a quick pause of defeat, she approached her fair ruler and kneeled down so she was level with her ruler's royal rear.

Guinness turned his head away then. He didn't wanna see it 'cause he knew he shouldn't have even asked for it in the first , he could feel Dell feeling up his hindquarters.

"You don't look hurt," Dell stated. "Are you sure I really have-"

"Yes!" Guinness shouted. "Just do it!"

"But I have stand..." Halfway through that sentence, Dell just sighed to herself in defeat. Most likely, she had the thought that Anthro Celestia was her ruler and had the right to do whatever she wanted, no matter how ridiculos or sexual it might be. So, she took a breath, closed her eyes and kissed the left cheek of her majesty's butt. Probably for longer then she should have.

Surprsingly for Guinness, despite knowing he didn't want it, found it to be pretty. The touch of Dell's soft lips on his soft fanny just made him feel good for some reason.

"There, I did it," Dell said once it was over.

"Again?" Guinness asked quickly. This time, he knew he kind of wanted it, so he was ready to feel that feeling again.

Oddly enough, Dell wasn't that surprised by the request this time, so she just went back to kissin' Anthro Celestia's bum. And man, did Guinness love it. In fact, he loved it a lot more this time because, for some reason, Dell was also feeling up his right cheek as well. He didn't know why, but buck if he cared. He just sighed in content and let Dell go about her peckin' and feelin'. But at some point, he could have sworn that Dell's kisses started to move very slowly to the right.

"Uh, Dell?" Guinness spoke up for the first time in a long time. "What are you- EEP!"

And that's right when Guinness's suspicions were confirmed: Dell was moving herself towards the center and was sticking her tounge deep into Anthro Celestia's folds. And man was it a weird sensation. Like, it was an amazing feeling and Dell was really going at it, but, at the same time, knowing that somepony's tounge was deep inside his genitals was really weird. Still, that didn't stop him from moaning in delight.

Unfortunately, right before Guinness finished, Dell suddenly did. "What... What am I doing?!" she shouted, quickly getting up and backing away from Guinness.

"Dell, wha... What's wrong?" Guinness asked, panting and still on that delightful high.

"I'm so sorry your majesty, I-I just don't know what came over me!" Dell continued. She sounded really upset and confused. "I-I mean, I-I was just doing what you asked me to, b-but then the next thing I knew I-I-I was putting my tounge in your vagina a-and it felt good, but-but, it felt so wrong at the same time and, oh, my parents never loved me and-"

"Dell!" Guinness somehow managed to catch Dell's attention. "Calm down!"

"I can't!" Dell looked like she was about to cry. "I used you! I used you for me own needs! My own stupid, horny needs!"

"Dell, it's alright," Guinness said, turning his body to Dell and sitting down, 'cause, well, his knees were starting to hurt from being on the floor for so long.

"It is?" Dell sniffed.

"Yes, it is," Guinness confirmed. "Being horny is something every mare has to be and-"

"Did you just call me a horse?" Dell asked.

"Uh... What am I supposed to call you?" Guinness enquired back.

"A woman," Dell answered.

"Oh, yeah, right," Guinness muttered, taking a moment to remember it before continuing: "Anyways, I have no problem with you using me if that's what you needed to do to satisfy yourself. I'm not gonna hold it against you."

Dell sniffed again and gave a small, yet hopeful smile. "Really?"

Guinness nodded and held his arms out. "Now gimme a hug."

Did Dell ever accept that offer, practically glomping Guinness and holding him tight. Guinness couldn't help but smile at that, not because he had managed to do some kinda princess-y wisdom to calm Dell down, but their breasts were pushing against each other and it felt good.

"So can you help me get dressed?" Guinness asked quietly.

As a response, Dell pulled out of the hug and was polite enough to give Guinness a bothered look.

"Your majesty, I've get naked for," Dell started. "I've put up with you not knowing how to walk. I've kissed your ass. And just because... Uh... Uhm... Oh, you know I can't resisit you when you pout! Fine! I'll help you get dressed but just this once!"

"Thank you, Dell!" Guinness hugged Dell once more before letting Anthro Celestia's assistant go off to scan around the closet for something good.

"So, uh, what should I wear today?" Guinness asked at some point. "A dress or something?"

"No, your majesty," Dell said, moving some clothes on a rack aside to get to the second layer. "It's just Twilight and whoever she's bringing. You don't need to dress formally for her... Goodness, how much clothing do you have?"

"OK, something casual..." Guinness stroked his chin as he thought about, Dell meanwhile crawling further into Anthro Celestia's closet. "Uh... Something maroon! Dell, I want something maroon!"

Dell poked her out just then to say, "OK! But just letting you know, I'm not going any deeper than the fifth layer!"

"OK, whatever..."

Twenty minutes later, and Guinness was standing up and checking out the outfit Dell had picked.

"So... What do you think, your majesty?" Dell asked with a smile. "Do you like it?"

Guinness thought about it. He was currently wearing a tight fitting maroon bodysuit that Dell commented was like a one piece swimsuit, some tight fitting pants, a sash that looked Celestia's mane acting as a belt (not as tight fitting), and nothing on his feet, at Guinness's request. The toenails were painted pink though.

"I like it!" Guinness replied, shaking his booty and giggling like a little school filly.

"I do too, your majesty," Dell agreed. "Really brings out your curves."

"Yeah, it really does..." Guinness sighed, placing a hand on his rear.

"Anyways, your majesty, I'll let you know when Twilight and company arrive, OK? OK." Dell bowed in respect and quickly left. A few moments later, she came back in, blushing like mad. "I, uh... I almost forgot my clothes..." She chuckled nervously, quickly put her thing on and was out in a flash.

A/N: …And there's the chapter. Honestly, out of all the things he could have inspiration for, it's this trite. At least it's a lot better written then his other stuff. Anyways, as he would say, "Bonum nocte et fortuna"… As I'm saying, "Spero quod neminem vestrum fugit.".