Celestia presents her big Anthro Sex Story
An "Idiot becomes Celestia" story
Written by That Gamer
Edited and condemned by Hellfilly Deluxe

A few minutes after the last chapter ended, Dell was sitting in the castle's dining room, deep in thought.

"Mrs. Dell? Is something wrong?" asked Gingembre, one of the castle's many cooks. (Gingembre, by the way, was this dark green lookin' guy, who, well, looked a cook.)

"Yes, it's... It's about her majesty," Dell replied. "She's-"

"So what's wrong with Ms. Celestia?" Gingembre asked.

"I was just about to get to that," Dell said, sounding a little cross.

"Right, right, I know, I just wanted to ask..."

"Anyways," Dell continued, "I went to check on her this morning because the sun hadn't been raised yet and..." She paused for a moment, trying to consider what to say next, but couldn't find a nice way to put it. So she pressed on with, "I don't mean offence to her majesty, but, to put it bluntly, she was acting like a slut."

"Oh she was, was she? Tell me, what did she did do?" Gingembre was now intrigued.

"Well, I apparently arrived near the end of it and..." Dell sighed, not really wanting to continue, but she'd be drinking it all away later, so why not? "Uh, from what I saw, she seemed to be half-naked and admiring her posterior. She seemed really embarrassed when I came in... Honestly, I think she may have gone insane overnight."

To that last sentence, Gingembre chuckled and shook his head. "Dell, can you really call a woman insane for just admiring how hot she looks?" he asked.

"But she looked like she was really into it!" Dell argued.

"Hey, I'd be into it too if I were her," Gingembre said. "I mean, with an ass like that, how could you not be?"

"Gingembre!" Dell shouted. "Do not speak of her majesty that way!"

"You called her a slut," Gingembre pointed out.

"As a description," Dell said. "Look, we're getting off topic!"

"Well, when you're thinking about those titanic tits, how could you not?" Gimgembre asked jokingly.

Obviously, Dell did not get it and looked like she was ready to punch him in the face for such a blasphemous remark. In fact, if Gingembre hadn't reacted like he did, she would have.

"Look, the point is, I don't think Ms. Celestia has gone insane," Gingembre stated, slowly lowering Dell's fist. "Maybe she just got up today and realized how sexy she was! I mean, give me one good reason."

One good reason entered just then, in the form of Guinness and a nameless guard, the former hanging onto the latter's neck for dear life.

"...We were betting on me losing, right?" Gingembre asked, supplying Dell with a hopeful look. Dell just looked annoyed, with an added effect of "I told you so."

"Hey, everypony," Guinness said in a sorta awkward manner. He took one hand off of the guard's neck to wave, but he suddenly lost his balance because of it and toppled over, bringing the guard down with him. "Sorry."

"So, uh, guard, why are you accompanying her majesty?" Dell asked as politely as she could.

"I found her crawling through the halls, Dell," the guard said, standing upright. "She apparently couldn't walk and requested my assistance."

"I just needed help getting on my fēt..." Guinness muttered. "I could do it earlier; I dunno know why I can't now... And, hey, now you're just rubbing it in!"

For a moment, Dell just looked all disapprovingly at Guinness, but soon turned her attention back to the guard. "OK, you may be excused."

The guard nodded and left, as noticed by Guinness.

"No, guard, come back!" Guinness yelled, reaching out for him. "I need you to help me stand up!" Then he remembered the other people in the room. "Uh, I mean... Uh... I can get up! I can stand up!" To prove it, Guinness grabbed the edge of the table and tried as hard as he could to pull himself up onto two legs. He did manage to get there, but couldn't stay in that position for too long though, so he had to sit down to prevent himself from falling again.

Once again, Dell looked unamused. "Gingembre?"

"Yeah?"

"Let me know when she's done," Dell said, leaving soon afterwards.

For at least a minute after Dell left, Gingembre and Guinness just looked at the door, then at each other.

"So... What's your name?" Guinness asked, breaking the silence into a dozen or so bite-sized pieces.

"Gingembre, Ms. Celestia," Gingembre replied not too long after Guinnes had asked. "It's French for something."

"Oh, OK... So, uh, what does Deli want with me?"

Gingembre shrugged. "I have no clue, Ms. Celestia... Wait, Deli?"

"Oops, sorry, I-I meant Dell," Guinness quickly corrected himself, letting over a sort-of nervous chuckle. "I guess I'm just hungry, that's all."

"Well, that's one normal thing about you so far today," Gingembre chuckled. "...Uh, of course, that's not to say that you're not normal, I'm just saying that... Uh... So what do you want for breakfast, Ms. Celestia? As you probably already know, I can make you anything you'd like.

"Anything I'd like?" Guinness echoed, a little amazed.

"Anything you'd like, yeah," Gingembre repeated.

Now Guinness really shouldn't have all that surprised at that little fact and, in actuality, he wasn't. No, he was more surprised by the amount of choice he had. When he was a pony, really, all he had for breakfast was some kinda mush from oats and, while it wasn't bad, a little more variety would've been nice. And, hey, here it is!

"OK, just gimme a sec here," Guinness muttered, going into full thinking mode as Gingembre nodded.

So what would Celestia want for breakfast? Guinness wondered. I have a lot of rumors about her liking cake and bananas... Eh, but bananas are kinda sexual and I don't wanna get into that kind of stuff... It's too early for cake, but, then again, if Celestia likes it as much as I've heard she does, then surely I can ask for it and not seem weird... But what do Anthros eat anyways? I've heard that they eat each other out, but that sounds gross. They don't seem like cannibals. Or maybe I'm getting that all wrong. But then ag-

"Ms. Celestia?" Gingembre spoke up, taking Guinness by some form of surprise. "Are you going to ask for anything, or we just going to stand here starving each other to death?"

"I'd rather go with the first option," Guinness answered. "Anyway, for breakfast, I would like... Uh... Cake!"

"Pancakes?" Gingembre guessed.

"No! Chocolate cake!" Guinness said in a commanding tone. (By accident, he swears. Apparently, he doesn't want to abuse his powers as a princess.)

"But for breakfast?" Gingembre asked. "Ms. Celestia, I thought you promised us that after the last time-"

"I want chocolate cake for breakfast!" Guinness demanded. (Again "by accident".) "And, uh, if you don't give it to me, I'll... I'll do something bad to you!"

"Fine, fine, you don't have to be so rude about it..." Gingembre muttered. "I'll get your dumb cake..." Beat. "Uh... Just don't let Mrs. Dell know I said that, or that I'm giving cake to you."

"I'll think about it," Guinness said.

"That's all I need," Gingembre said, rushing out of the room.

So Guinness with alone once again, he realized something really he should've a little while ago. "I have wings!" he said happily, extending said body parts. "And I already know how to use 'em! Finally, things are going my way."

Now with his wings out, he had to test something. He had always heard a rumour about pegasi wings being extremely sensitive, but, due to a number of reasons (none of which involving his wife), he could never find out if that was really true or not. Maybe this was the reason why he was in this body.

It'd be a pretty stupid reason if it was true... Guinness thought.

Regardless though, he still had to try it out, so he reached back and pinched the tip of one. Almost immediately, he both thanked himself for it and regretted the decision, because, as soon as he did it, a wave of pleasure circulated throughout his whole body. Especially one particular area, which he looked down at.

"Oh Faust..."

Surprisingly, he also forgot to notice that he now had a marehood, and, right now, it was just rarin' to go, to get some kind of action... Any action. Guinness certainly knew and seemed willing to comply, slowly reaching a hand down there. Slowly... Practically teasing himself... Those two lower lips were practically begging for it... Yet here he was, letting his hand slowly slide down to them... Eventually, he did get there, moving the bottom to the side so- "WAIT A MINUTE!"

At the last possible second, Guinness yanked his hand away and could only stare at it like it was the horrifying thing in the world (whatever that was). Despite what he had been doing earlier, he knew for a fact that there were just some areas he couldn't go near no matter how much he wanted to, and the marehood was one of them. Especially when it wasn't his wife's. It just felt wrong... At least for now. Besides, Gingembre could have come back at any minute, so then where would he be?

Speak of the devil, he came back just then, carrying two slices of chocolate cake on a silver platter.

"Here you go, Ms. Celestia," Gingembre said, placing the platter down in front of her. "Two pieces of chocolate cake, made by the finest chefs in Equestria. And some other people who aren't me."

Man, cloud Guinness not agree more. He had seen some cake in his day, but this had to be the well-presented silces he had ever seen in his life. Really, it was indescribable, which obviously meant that it was going to taste terrible. Still, cake was cake, and Guinness wasn't gonna just let these two pieces go to waste

"Now, I came back with these so early because, well, to be honest with you, we prepared it last night while we were making that other cake you requested," Gingembre explain. "So, yes, we knew you would want some slices to yourself, but... But not this early. Like, at least after you've eaten a normal breakfast. Cake for breakfast is just weird. I mean, cake is good and all and I wish I could have it for every meal of the day, but, after that last we did it when you- Wait, what are you doing?"

Guinness looked up and gave the chef a confused looked, his face covered in chocolate as he had apparently gone in face first. "Uh, I'm eating cake. What's so wrong about that?"

"Well, uh, it's just the fact that, uh, you, well..." Gingembre took a moment to come up with the right words to use. "Uh, y'see, you kinda... Y'kinda got chocolate... All over your face."

"Yeah, and what's the problem?" Guinness asked. Then, a couple of moments after saying this, his mind answered for him. "Oh... Yeah, I almost forgot!" And with that said, Guinness levitated the piece of cake that hadn't been touched yet and took a bite out of it. "Where are my manners?"

"Uh, sure, that's the problem," Gingembre muttered.

And neither one said a word for the rest of Guinness's cake.

A/N: I dunno why he's still writing this. Just play along, OK?