My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Season 4

Episode 2: A New World Part 2

(It opens as everyone stares at the Unicorn.)

Doug: You can talk? But that means... You're real. You're a real unicorn.
Rob: C-come on. There are no such things as unicorns.

(Rarity smacks Rob upside the head.)

Rob: Ow!
Discord: Walked right into that one.
Rob: How?
Unicorn: Now Mr. Halbeisen and friends, look. Look at my fellow prisoners and tell me what you see.

(Cut to the Manticore as it fades into an elderly lion.)

Doug: That so called Manticore is really an old toothless lion.

(Pan to a satyr in a cage turning into an ape.)

Doug: And she had us believing that some poor ape with a twisted ankle was a satyr.

(Pan to the dragon as it's revealed as a snake.)

Doug: And that dragon is just a snake.

(Pan back to the gang.)

Doug: Illusions, all of them. Brown was right. This entire place is just one big parlor trick.
John: Well, after seeing her, I'm afraid I'm starting to retract that statement.

(There's a barking sound as they all turn to see a large female Great Dane with three heads.)

Doug: That's no illusion. It's a real Cerberus.
Unicorn: Indeed. Madam Leota captured her when she was but a pup. Please help us.
Doug: Of course we will. We just need to grab a book she bought first.
Twilight: ... This may be no surprise, but I've got an idea!

(Cut to that night as Madam Leota is sleeping in her cart as Doug and Chris sneak in. They go to the wall as the keys for all the cages are there, and he grabs them as Chris grabs the book, and they rush out.)

Twilight: "The Spells of Asteroth". We've found it!
Doug: Okay, now we just need to get these little fellas out.

(Doug unlocks the Unicorn's cage as the lock suddenly laughs as it comes undone. Once the Unicorn leaves, her extra horn disappears.)

Rob: What the heck was that?!
Twilight: Some kind of alarm spell?
Unicorn: There's no time to explain.

(Doug quickly unlocks the other doors as the noise awakens Madam Leota as she comes out.)

Madam Leota: You! You little brats stole it!
Applebloom: What do we do?
Twilight: Oh, please let me still be able to do magic.

(Twilight casts a freezing spell as Madam Leota freezes in place.)

Pinkie: Hooray!
Twilight: It won't last long! We've gotta get out of here!
John: Quite right, my good woman.

(Doug and Fluttershy look at the locked up Cerberus as it moans, and they go to her.)

Applejack: Doug, Fluttershy, get back here! That thing'll kill y'all if you let it out!
Doug: It wouldn't be fair to leave the poor thing here.

(Doug unlocks the door as the Cerberus jumps on the two.)

Rob: Doug!
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy!

(The two laugh as two of the dog's heads lick them.)

Fluttershy: That's right. You're just a sad little puppy, aren't you?
Doug: Come with us, girl.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Doug: I shall call her Fluffy, and she shall be mine. She shall be my Cerberus.
John: Right, now, about getting along.
Unicorn: Indeed. We need a place to relax.
John: I've got it. My own place, in a small neighborhood just outside of London.

(The unicorn's horn glows as they teleport there. It's an old relatively derelict house.)

Rarity: There must have been some mistake. You surely don't live here.
John: As a matter of fact, I do, Rarity. I arrived here a few years back and found the front door opened. The house was deserted. In fact everyone had left the neighborhood.
Applejack: Now why in Sam Hill would they do that?
John: This might have something to do with it.

(John points out a small bomb halfway embedded into the ground.)

Doug: Hokey smokes, that's a World War II bomb from the Blitzkrieg! No wonder everyone left! I'm surprised you didn't high tail it and run!
John: Yes, quite true. I am by nature, well a bit of a coward, but in the perverse nature of things, this diabolical object is quite possibly the best friend I ever had. It enables me for the first time in my life to live like a king.
Fluttershy: B-but what if it goes off while you're inside?
John: Impossible my dear. That bomb is most obviously a dud if it's been inert for all these decades.
Twilight: Alright. Now I can just study up this book and learn about the Substitutiary Locomotion spell.

(They all go in as John goes to a table and hands Applebloom a story book.)

John: An old book from a nursery upstairs. I figured I owed you a piece offering as we're very likely to still be spending at least a little bit of time together.
Applebloom: Gee, thanks Mr. Brown.

(Applebloom goes to the table and reads it as Doug goes to the Unicorn.)

Doug: Um, ma'am, how did you know my last name?
Unicorn: Because an ancestor of yours was a dear friend of mine.
Doug: Say huh?
Unicorn: His name was Schmendrick the Magician.
Doug: Schmendrick the Magician? But he was only a character in the Last Unicorn.
Unicorn: A sad truth of a tale that in the end lacks evidence. It is to become legend and then myth.
Doug: Then that'd make you... Amalthea.
Amalthea: Indeed. Even when Madam Leota held me captive I kept a close eye on the family of my old friends.
Sweetie Belle: Um, Miss Amalthea, how long were you held captive?
Amalthea: It has been eleven hundred years since I last stepped on grass instead of the cold iron of my cage.
Rob: That's impossible! That would make Madam Leota a good eleven centuries old!
Amalthea: Indeed. She is a scavenger of magic. It was people like her, Mommy Fortuna, and another wizard's cruelty to animals that led me to create Equestria and rule it for its first few decades of life.
Applejack: First few... Now hold on, what you're saying is that you're from home?
Amalthea: Indeed I am, Applejack, and I must thank you for reuniting my daughters Celestia and Luna.
Chris: Wow, this is so cool! Isn't this cool Rob?! I mean-
Twilight: Chris, I'm trying to find the spell here! Now let's see... A traveling spell... Something to make a broomstick fly... Oh, I found- hey, this book's been torn in half!
Scootaloo: What?! You mean we have to go back?!
John: Oh, not at all. It got that way when I saw Leota buy it. There was some sort of scuffle over the shopkeeper believing Leota cheated him, and the book tore, so Leota got one half, and the shopkeeper got the other.
Twilight: Oh boy... We're just lucky the last page is about Substitutiary Locomotion. "Substitutiary Locomotion. The lost art of bringing an inanimate object to life is contained in three simple words. These words are"

(Twilight flips through the whole book.)

Twilight: It's not here. It's not here! We came all the way to another world! Went through all of that, and it's not here!
Doug: Whoa Twilight, relax. It has to be in the second half. So John, where would it be?
John: Oh, it's probably been thrown away, but if it still exists, there's only one place to find it.
Rarity: Where?

(Cut to an old London neighborhood as Amalthea teleports them there, now looking like her human form.)

John: Portobello Road. Portobello Road.
Street where the riches of ages are stowed.
Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold of the barrow in Portobello Road.
You'll find what you want in the Portobello Road.

(They walk past several merchants holding their wares.)

Merchant: Real alabaster!
John: Genuine plaster.
Merchant 2: A filigreed samovar owned by the czars.
Merchant 3: A pen used by Shelly.
John: A new Botticelli.
Merchant 3: The snipers that clipped old King Edward's cigars.

(John looks at it closely.)

John: Made in Hong Kong? Two bob a dozen, wouldn't you say?
Discord: Ooh, I like this guy.
Merchant 4: Waterford crystal?
Merchant 5: Napoleon's pistols!
Merchant 6: Society heirlooms with genuine gems?!
Merchant 7: Rembrandts. El Grecos. Toulouse Lautrecos.
John: Painted last week on the banks of the Thames.
Twilight: Very interesting, but where do they sell books?
John: Relax Twilight, there's a little place around the corner.
Everyone: Portobello Road. Portobello Road.
Street where the riches of ages are stowed.
John: Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold of the barrow in Portobello Road.

(Two young women in blue and pink walk past.)

Women: You'll meet all your chums in the Portobello Road.
John (nervously): Nice to see you. Good-bye!
Twilight: But what I want is the other half of this book!
John: All in good time, my dear.

(Discord goes after the two girls who just left as Chris follows until his feet get frozen to the ground.)

Chris: Hey, wh-?
Discord: Why? Because I can.

(He goes off with the two girls.)

Amalthea: Oh Lord.

(They arrive at a bookshop as Doug, Chris, and Pinkie are the most excited to look around.)

Doug: There's pure inspiration in every fixation.
Shopkeeper: No cheap imitation, not here in me store.
With garments as such as was worn by a duchess.
Doug: Just once at some royal occasion of yore.
Twilight: Doug, I'm trying to find the other half of this book!
Doug: Sorry.

(He puts a hat on her head.)

Doug: But you sure do look great in that hat.
Twilight: Oh, you.
Doug: In Portobello Road. Portobello Road.
The fancies and fineries of ages are showed.

(Cut to Rarity and Sweetie Belle dressed up in recently purchased coats and hats.)

Rarity: A lady will always feel dressed a la mode.
Sweetie Belle: In frillies she finds in the Portobello Road.

(Another bookkeeper piles book after book next to Twilight as she and Applejack.)

Bookkeeper: Burke's Peerage. The Bride Book.
The fishmonger's guide book.
Applejack: We're looking for the other part of the book my friend's holding, thank you kindly.
Bookkeeper: A Victorian Novel, the Unwanted Son?
Applejack: Aw.
Twilight: Can't anyone focus around here?! We're trying to find the other half of the book!
Bookkeeper: The History of Potting.
John: "The Yearbook of Yachting".
Bookkeeper: The Leather bound Life of Attila the Hun.

(They keep walking around as everyone, even Twilight begins to give in to the odd beauty of the place as Discord comes back looking very happy.)

Discord: Portobello Road. Portobello Road.
Street where the riches of ages are stowed.

(Cut to Rarity trying on jewelry.)

Rarity: Artifacts to glorify a regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam of Portobello Road.
Amalthea: Rarity, I don't believe you need any more souvenirs. Especially not such expensive ones.
Rarity (disappointed): Oh, I suppose you're right.
Chris: Tokens and treasures. Yesterday's pleasures.
Rob: Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old.
Rainbow Dash: Dented and tarnished. Scarred and unvarnished.
Applejack: In old Portobello they're bought, and they're sold.
Fluttershy: Tokens and Treasures. Yesterday's pleasures.
Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old.
Dented and tarnished. Scared and unvarnished.
In old Portobello, they're bought, and they're sold.

(Cut to the group finally getting back together as they find another bookshop.)

John: This good lady is looking for the other half of this book.
Twilight: It's called The Spells of Asteroth.

(A figure eyes them and backs into the shadows.)

Bookkeeper 2: I don't keep any torn or damaged books here! What do you think I am? A ruddy white paper merchant?!
John: Sorry sir. No offense.

(They walk on as Applebloom's eating an ice cream.)

Applebloom: You can eat like a queen in the Portobello road!
John: Now if I'm right, there should be at least one more bookstore around here, somewhere.

(He finds a merchant playing a piano.)

John: Grandpa, you don't expect to sell a piano like that, do you? Let me have a go my dear fellow.
Pinkie: Ooh yeah! It's my turn to sing!

(John begins playing.)

Pinkie: Portobello Road! Portobello Road!
All kinds of things are happening in Portobello Road!
You'll feel like a ballerina when you're hopping like a toad!
When you kick your heals up down in Portobello Road!

(Everyone begins dancing along, even Twilight, until it begins to rain and everyone closes up.)

Twilight: Oh!
Amalthea: Portobello Road. Portobello Road.
Streets where the riches of ages are stowed.
Rob: Well, that was pointless.

(The man comes up.)

Man: I heard you were looking for something called the Spells of Asteroth.
John: Indeed? Then how come you didn't say anything until everyone had closed up?
Man: Does this answer your question?

(He holds out a knife.)

Doug: Holy-!
John: Alright, so where is it?
Man: It's with me boss, the Bookman. He'd like to see ya.
Twilight: Okay.

(They go to the basement of an old bookstore filled with maps of Middle Earth as well as several copies of the Last Unicorn.)

Doug: Well, this can't be good.

(They're brought in front of an old man who looks like John Glover.)

Bookman: My, such a big party looking for half a book.
Twilight: Well friends stick together.
Bookman: And I see you have what I'm looking for as well. Maybe we can help each other.
John: I'd rather help a cobra.
Bookman: Would you prefer I'd ask my friend Swigburn to take what I want?

(Swigburn pulls out the knife as John gets up.)

John: Hey now, none of that.
Bookman: It's all like a jolly detective story or jigsaw puzzle. We're both after the same spell. You have one clue, and I have the other.
Twilight: Well... Then I guess the only sensible thing to do is share.

(Bookman walks up with his half.)

Bookman: I assume you're looking for the same thing I am. May I?

(They switch halves.)

Bookman: Let's see... Ah. "Substitutiary Locomotion. The lost art of bringing an inanimate object to life is contained in three simple words. These words are"
Twilight: "Engraved on the star that was always worn by the Sorcerer Asteroth." Oh come on!
Bookman: But where are the words of the spell? I assumed they were in your half of the book!
Twilight: And we assumed they were in yours.
Bookman: Once again, a dead end. I shall never know the secret.

(Doug looks at the book with Twilight and finds a picture of a wizard with several animals.)

Doug: There's Asteroth, and that must be his star. Too bad it's so small, or else we could just read the writing.
Chris: But why the animals?
Bookman: Towards the end of his life, Asteroth kept animals in cages and searched for the spells that would make them more like humans. The legend is that finally the animals revolted against the experiment, killed Asteroth, and stole many of his powers.
Amalthea: Including the star with the spell on it.
Bookman: Possibly. They found a ship, sailed away, and were never seen again. However, there is a final notation in my half of the book talking about a shipwrecked man found after several weeks, half mad with thirst and exposure to the sun. Before he died, he swore he saw an island ruled by animals.
Doug: Where?
Bookman: There is, I regret to say, no such place. I looked for it on every chart I could, but the Isle of Naboombu does not exist.

(Applebloom looks down at her book and sees the title. "The Isle of Naboombu".)

Applebloom: Oh, it does too! Mr. Brown gave me a-

(Rob covers her mouth.)

Bookman: What did she say?!
Rob: Nothing. She's just being a silly little kid.
Bookman: I wish the child to speak!

(Rob removes his hand.)

Rob: Now you've done it.
Applebloom: It's in this book, Mr. Brown gave me. It's got some real purdy pictures.
John (quickly): You wouldn't be interested, Bookman. It's just a silly children's book.
Bookman: I'll be the judge of that. Give me the book.
Applebloom: No.
Bookman: Please don't annoy me. Give me the book, girl.
Applebloom: Make me.

(Swigburn comes up with his Switchblade as Amalthea teleports them back to John's house.)

Twilight: Well that's it. All we have to do is go to the Isle of Naboombu! Then we can get the spell and give it to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!
Amalthea: We should be careful though. Those animals are savage and cutthroat, not like my daughters.
Rainbow Dash: You sound like you know them.
Amalthea: I helped save them from Asteroth, and when he tried to capture me, I fought back, and he was killed in the struggle. All but a few ponies and Pegasai simply went their own way, stealing Asteroth's belongings with them.
Applebloom: Whoo-hoo! We're gonna get the thing!
Sweetie Belle: Hooray!

(They're teleported to the beach of Naboombu as they look around.)

Rarity: No one's here!
Voice: People?! Oh no! What scurvy luck!

(They turn to see a bear in a sailor's suit.)

Rarity: ... Is that a bear in a sailor's suit?
John: Yup.
Rarity: Okay, good. For a moment I thought I lost my mind.

(The bear advances.)

To Be Continued...