My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Season 4

Episode 1: A New World Part 1

(It opens at Canterlot as Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie arrive in front of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.)

Twilight: Princess Celestia, what's up?
Celestia: My sister and I have received word that the Changelings are amassing to attack again.
Rainbow Dash: Bring 'em on! We'll show them again!
Luna: Admirable, Rainbow Dash, but futile. We don't have the numbers to fight such a huge army. Our only hope is a lost spell for Substitutiary Locomotion.
Twilight: Ooh... Substitutiary Locomotion...
Pinkie: Substitutiary Locomotion! Hooray! . . . What's that?
Twilight: It's the act of making an object move under its own will. Like if one of Rarity's dresses began moving around on its own without anyone in it.
Pinkie: Ooh...!
Twilight: So where is it?
Luna: We don't know. We only know of its existence in another world.
Rarity: Another world? What do you mean?
Luna: A world where the rules of science and logic overcame our magic ways.
Twilight: Whoa...
Applejack: So what are we waiting for?
Celestia: A spell that will allow you to blend into that world.

(Celestia and Luna's horns glow, and when the light fades, the six are human beings in clothes that match their coats, and their Cutie Marks moving to their ankles.)

Applejack: Land sakes.
Rainbow Dash: What the-? Where are my wings?! Where are my wings?!
Pinkie: Ooh! Look at us! Look at us! We're... We're... What are we?
Luna: Creatures called humans. We'll send some assistance soon, but the spell that will allow you to cross worlds is difficult enough on its own, so we'll need rest afterwards.
Twilight: Right. Come on girls.

(Cut to Grand Rapids, Michigan as the girls arrive.)

Rarity: Oh my, look at all these huge, lovely buildings. It's amazing.
Pinkie: Wow, what tiny trains!

(They look at the cars as they speed past.)

Fluttershy: Um, maybe we should find somewhere to begin look.

(They begin checking around when a young man with black hair and brown eyes about the girls' age sees them looking around and goes to them.)

Man: Hey, need some help?
Rarity: Oh, um... We're just looking for something.
Man: Can I help?

(Two other men about Doug's age arrive. One has sandy brown hair, blue eyes, and is very skinny. The other is brown haired and blue eyed.)

Man 2: Hey man, what's up?
Pinkie: We're looking for-
Twilight: Shh!
Man: Hey, we really wanna help.
Twilight: Well, we are gonna need it. We're new here.
Applejack: Really new.
Man: Great. My name's Doug. These are my friends Rob and Chris.
Rob: Hey.
Chris: Hi.
Pinkie: Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! So where are we gonna start looking?!
Twilight: First, is there a place we can talk in private.
Doug: Oh sure.

(Cut to Doug's condo as Pinkie and Rainbow Dash look all around.)

Pinkie: Ooh, what's this big shiny box?
Doug: It's a TV.
Twilight: Look you three, this is gonna sound weird, but I need you to really listen. When I said we weren't from around here, we really, really aren't from around here. We're not even actually humans. We're from a place called Equestria, and we're in big trouble, so we're here to find the spell for Substitutiary Locomotion.
Doug: Whoa, a spell that makes stuff move on its own...
Chris: This is really great!
Rob: Oh come on, Chris. It's probably just a game.
Doug: Sounds great! We're in!
Twilight: Great. Now we just need to prepare for a long journey.
Doug: Oh... Then maybe we shouldn't have met up here. All I've got in my fridge are four Hot Pockets, Broccoli, and Cauliflower.
Rob: I'll grab us something from the store. You guys stay here.
Pinkie: Okay. Now, what's this TV do?

(Doug turns it on as it's on Cartoon Network.)

Pinkie: Ooh...

(Then the lights begin flickering.)

Rainbow Dash: Candle on, candle off. Candle on, candle off.
Applejack: Now Rainbow Dash, that aint neighborly.
Doug: It's alright.
Rarity: I say, what's this black box on the ground?
Doug: My X-Box. Wanna play it with me while we wait?
Pinkie: Ooh games! Games! Games!

(Pinkie begins jumping up and down on Doug's futon.)

Pinkie: I love games!
Fluttershy: Um, maybe we shouldn't impose.
Doug: Nah. You're guests.

(Cut to Canterlot as Discord prepares to head out while the Cutie Mark Crusaders come in.)

Applebloom: Hey, can we help out too?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! We can um... We can... We... Um...
Scootaloo: Oh, this isn't gonna go well.
Discord: Why not? It's always nice to have a new perspective.

(Discord snaps his fingers as they arrive in Grand Rapids as humans, with Discord looking like John De Lance. He also observes his face in a window.)

Discord: Hm... Not a bad look, if I do say so myself.
Applebloom: Applejack? Applejack where are-

(Discord snaps his fingers as they disappear. Cut to Doug's apartment just as Rob and Chris come back when Discord and the Cutie Mark Crusaders appear.)

Discord: Hello my little ponies.
Rob: Is that John De Lance from Star Trek?
Discord: No, just a reasonable facsimile. I've got good news. I've narrowed down where the book that holds the spell is.
Fluttershy: Oh, that's very good.
Applejack: What the-? Applebloom?! What are you doing here?
Applebloom: Me and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders wanted to help.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! We can um... Give you moral support and stuff.

(Scootaloo watches Rainbow Dash playing Forza Motor Sport.)

Scootaloo: Ooh, cool!
Rarity: Um, excuse me, I believe we were about to find out where we're supposed to go.
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Applejack: Turn the TV off.

(Twilight does it.)

Twilight: There. Now, where is it?
Discord: A country called England.
Rob: Oh cool! A free trip to England!
Chris: When are we going?
Discord: Right now.

(Discord snaps his fingers as they all suddenly appear in London.)

Rob: What the-? How did-? We were- What the heck just happened?!
Doug: Wow, you guys really are magical.
Twilight: Well of course. I mean, what does that TV thing run on?
Doug: Electricity.
Applebloom: You mean that stuff lightning's made outta?
Doug: Yup.
Twilight: Wow. That's actually kinda cool. So is that how those lights worked?
Doug: Yeah.
Twilight: This is really amazing.
Discord: If I may interrupt this nice moment, I believe someone who can help you out is right across the street.

(They go over and see an English man about their age with a case that reads "Professor John Brown". He sets the case down as it opens up to reveal several dew-dads.)

John: Ladies and gentlemen!

(Sparks fly out of his hands.)

Fluttershy: Oh my.
John: Gather around please, ladies and gentlemen!
Twilight: Oh great. A male Trixie.
John: Note the name, ladies and gentlemen, Professor John Brown. I am here to divert, amuse, and possibly even help you with the drudgery of the day. How can I enrich your lives?

(The gang walks up to John as he walks up to Rarity.)

John: My humble talents are at your command. Aw madam, what have we here?

(John pulls a coin out of Rarity's ear.)

Rarity: What the-?
Doug: Oh come on, that's the oldest trick in the book.

(John swings the coin on some string he had attached to it.)

John: Yes my friend, a trick. Or to use a kinder word, an illusion, but what isn't in these troubled times? We live in a world of fakery and false ideas. It is not what things are.

(John holds up a cane as it seems to extend as he tosses it to Applejack.)

John: It is what they seem to be. Is that not so, madam?

(Applejack looks at the stick and finds that it's a collapsible toy.)

Scootaloo: This isn't the kinda help I expected.
Sweetie Belle: I don't think it's the kinda help any of us expected either.
John: You see it really doesn't matter what I do, what I do, as long as I do it...

(John shows a red cloth and turns it all around before pulling out a bushel of roses from it and hands them to Rarity.)

John: With a flair. What effect a little smoke is.

(He pulls out a pan as a flash packet goes off causing a fire to appear in the pan.)

John: With a dash of Hocus Pocus. And a scent of burning sulfur in the air.

(John puts the red cloth inside the pan and closes it. He opens it soon afterwards as a dove flies out.)

Fluttershy: Oh my, I hope that dove didn't get a cramp.
John: I'm a fraud, a hoax.
A charlatan, a joke.
But they love me everywhere.

(John gives Pinkie flowers that appear almost out of nowhere.)

Pinkie: Ooh, thank you.
John: Thank you.

(He takes one away as the rest fall over, revealed as plastic.)

Pinkie: Ha-ha-ha! That was funny!
John: Now ladies and gentlemen, for my next trick, may I draw your attention to this ordinary window glass. Framed in an ordinary, unprepared frame.

(He then holds up a nail.)

John: May I also draw your attention to this perfectly ordinary steel nail? Now I shall place the steel nail through the glass without breaking the glass.
Rob (scoffing): Yeah right.
John: Impossible you say, my friend? We shall see.

(John puts the nail through the glass as it sounds like it shatters, but as he pulls the nail out and shows it to them, there isn't a hole, and he hands it to Rainbow Dash who puts her hoof through as a shattering sound effect comes out.)

Rainbow Dash: Hey, this thing's rigged!
Scootaloo: Yeah.
John: That's the whole point my dears.
And it really doesn't matter
What I say, what I say.
As long as I say it with a flair.
First I rattle off a ready stalk
Of gibberish and poppycock,
And fix you with my best hypnotic stare.

(He stares at Discord who just stares back and makes him blink a little before regaining his composure and continuing.)

John: With my moans
And groans and sufferific tones
They have cheered me, everywhere.
For it really doesn't matter
What I say. What I say.
I sell it when I tell it
With a sheen of imagine.

(He reveals a box with a crystal ball in it as he waves his hand, making it float.)

John: The magician's nursery rhyme.
Abracadabra!

(He cuts the string holding it up as it falls back into the box.)

John: You succumb to it every time.
Wave a stick, and each trick,
Will mystify and disarm.
In fact to coin a fitting phrase,
It works... Like a charm.
So it really doesn't matter
What I brew. What I brew.
As long as I brew it with a flair.
Though I've never cast a magic spell,
I make the motions very well.
My showmanship is far beyond compare.
I'm a rogue. A rake.
A mountebank of fake.
But I do whate'er I dare.
For it really doesn't matter
What I do... What I do...
You buy my charms and poxes
'Cause they come in fancy boxes.
To improve your ugly daughter,
I've a vile of colored water.
And my magic incantations
Can be framed as decorations.
Though there's really nothing to it,
And of course you all see through it!
You love me 'cause I do it...
With a flair.

(Everyone can only stare in confusion.)

John: Now my little child, how would you like something?
Applebloom: What?
John: The mating call of the nightingale. Known as the bird of love?

(He holds up a fancy kazoo.)

John: With this little object, you can charm the very birds from the tree like so.

(He takes a bite of the kazoo and whistles perfectly like a nightingale.)

Fluttershy: Ooh...
Applebloom: How much?
John: For you, my young friend, one penny. One copper coin of the realm.

(She pulls out a small coin she brought with her as it has become a British pound.)

Applebloom: Here you go. You can keep the change.
John: Thank you, and here you are.

(Applebloom takes it and does just what John does as she just blows, but she can't even make a whistle sound at all.)

Applebloom: It don't work. I've been cheated.
Applejack: We're supposed to get help from this crook?!
Discord: Yup.
Rarity: Urgh. I'd rather spend the rest of my life looking for that confound book than work with such a man as this "John Brown".
John: May I ask what you would've needed help with?
Pinkie: We're looking for a book about Substitutiary Locomotives.
Fluttershy: Locomotion.
Pinkie: That too.
John: Never heard of one. I did see an old crone with a circus buying an old book.
Twilight: Really? What was it called?
John: The Spells of... Azarath or something like that.
Discord: Now do you see?
Twilight: Oh, please, where's this circus lady live?
John: Well it's a traveling zoo of mythical creatures, but like me, she's more flair than anything else, but if you insist.

(Cut to an old fair with a very old, hunched woman, as she has a servant who looks like Andy Serkis.)

Man: Now come along you lot, look at the marvels of Madame Leota.

(They look at a Chinese Dragon in a cage as Fluttershy squeaks nervously and hides behind Rob.)

Man: The legendary dragons. A serpent long and strong enough to crush a building with just one coil of its body.

(Fluttershy squeaks again.)

Man: Inside is the firepower to burn this whole country to the ground, and yet its skin is so cold, it burns!

(They go to a Manticore.)

Fluttershy: Oh, the poor little baby kitty.
Rob: Little?!
Man: That's no kitten ma'am. It's a Manticore. With the body of a lion, the face of a man, and the tail of a scorpion!

(They then go to a Unicorn.)

Twilight: Is that a... A unicorn?
Doug: Looks more like a bicorn to me.

(They look and see the Unicorn, with a traditional horn, but with another horn in the shape of a dagger next to it. She then looks at Doug as the man continues.)

Unicorn: Can you see me, Mr. Halbeisen... Do you know what I am?

(The boys are in shock as Doug stares.)

Doug: Did that bicorn just... Talk?

To Be Continued...