The beautiful people...OOOOOHHHHH...

-Pyro shoots out from the ground and into the air. The fans go wild as another episode of Lunacy has commenced blah blah blah this is the same shit every week-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on the air, for the LAST episode of Lunacy until our first ever Pay Per View, Proving Grounds!

Garble: The symbolism behind that name is uncanny. Proving Grounds is EVERYBODY's chance-not ONLY the superstars, but the General Managers, cameramen, interviewers, announcers-

Ahuizotl: And of course, boy...the COMMENTATORS -winks-

Garble: -Grins- Of course! It's the ENTIRE Equestrian Wrestling Federation's chance to PROVE ourselves as the ULTIMATE means of sporting entertainment going forward.

Ahuizotl: And we couldn't have started it off any better, as Proving Grounds is looking to be PHENOMENAL as we speak!

So together we are lost on the moon... -The crowd cheers-

Garble: We'll run down the card LATER, but for now...holy crap...this is...odd...

Ahuizotl: I know what you mean. We are actually STARTING off the show with the general manager of Lunacy, Princess Luna! Odd indeed, considering how she usually has to come out after two superstars are bickering or fighting.

Garble: Looks like she beat anybody who wanted to speak their mind to the punch. Let's see what she has to say...

-Luna is handed a mic, as the crowd thrusts into chants of "Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!" Luna smiles at this.-

Luna: We thank you for your embraceable enthusiasm, and we thank you fans for following Lunacy as loyally as you have so far. The Equestrian Wrestling Federation is closing in on one month as a company very soon, and we could not be MORE proud to bring you the very best that my talented roster has to offer, and I know my sister would say the same. -Cheers- With a new month approaching, and the first pay per view in Equestrian Wrestling Federation history approaching even FASTER, however...things must chance, such as life itself. The EWF is STILL, to this DAY, looking for company roles to fill, and, per our request, the Equestrian Wrestling Federation has filled a role they so DESPERATELY needed...an Executive Talent Relations officer. Why an executive? Well, Filthy Rich, in addition to being the Chairman of the EWF, also is responsible for making sure the talented individuals that make up the EWF rosters have a fair and balanced talent. If you know anything about business, you know that contracts end. When a contract is about to end, Mr. Rich must negotiate with the superstar to form the perfect contract for them, so they can continue working for him. Again, if you know anything about business...it's an EXTREMELY tedious job. Mr. Rich has enough on his plate as it is juggling through the day to day operations of his company, and so, he needs others to do the things he simply can't do. And so, we took it upon myself, to call upon...an old friend -blushes-, and see if he could be of any service to Mr. Rich, and I'm pleased to announce that he CAN, and WILL be! So, without anymore stalling, we introduce to YOU...the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations...my DEAR friend, Star Swirl! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Oh my! I must say that I'm SHOCKED.

Garble: I-is she SERIOUS? This goof? What has he done to deserve this kind of power?!

-Star Swirl comes out in a suit that is adorned by numerous crescent moons. His signature beard has been trimmed down to a mere goatee. He waves at the fans over and over again and casually walks to the ring as Luna applauds.-

Ahuizotl: He's an old friend of Luna's, boy, that's been well documented! For those that aren't aware, this is Star Swirl the Bearded. He had been appearing on the past 3 episodes of Backstage Fallout, and let's just say, he's a bit out there...

Garble: He looks pretty-much like the average day corporate suck-up to me right about now. His awesome bush isn't even there anymore! Why? That was the only redeeming quality that guy had!

-Star Swirl gets in the ring, and hugs Luna. He is handed his own microphone.-

Crowd: Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl!

Star Swirl: -Grins widely- My name...is Mr. Star Swirlanaitis...-some fans laugh out loud at the ridiculous name-...I am the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations, and yes, Swirlanaitis IS my real last name. I'm using it to sound more professional. It's okay, it's fine, get it out of your system...

Crowd: THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Swirlanaitis: You may know me from Backstage Fallout, the show that catches up with the superstars of Lunacy after the most recent show. I would run around, stealing cakes, kidnapping cameramen, anything I could do to get some time on the camera myself. I guess you could say I'm an attention hog, and my CRAVING to be on national television...led me to Princess Luna. I asked, well, more like DEMANDED if she had a spot on the roster for me, and thankfully she DID. It wasn't really the spot I was expecting, though. I was expecting a commentator-

Garble: Oh thank God he didn't get that spot...

Swirlanaitis: Or best of all, a WRESTLER! -Flexes- But, instead...I got a job in...management. It surprised me, but I'm a pretty organized guy, doing a bunch of paperwork everyday doesn't faze me, so I took it! And now...I get to be on TELEVISION! I have an OFFICE! It smells like lettuce, it's GREAT! And it's a pretty easy job to top it all off. I haven't had to do it yet, but I understand what my job entails. Our talent scout goes out and finds the newest or fastest rising stars he can find in the wide wide world of professional wrestling, and when he's comfortable with his findings, because our talent scout is the very BEST at what he does, so he KNOWS what talent is GOOD talent for the EWF. When he finds the best talent he can round up, he sends them to ME. All I have to do is WORK with these young men and women, and strike up a deal we both feel is going to benefit us; them and the company. After their name is plastered on a contract in black-as-black ink, they get sent to our developmental training facility, which hasn't quite opened up yet, but we're working on it. When it's officially open, however, our new talent gets sent their, where they work on their wrestling skills. When we feel they've worked hard enough, and have gotten a LOT better than they were before, we'll call them up to the main roster, and give them the chance to wrestle...in front of ALL of you. When that time comes, it's up to THEM to impress you, just like they impressed us. So, essentially, I am responsible for bringing the fans of the EWF the greatest, most exciting, and most unique wrestlers we can find. -Crowd cheers- So, sooner or later, you can all expect not only on LUNACY, but if Ms. Celestia is interested, or SUBLIME, some FRESH superstars, that just like the whole other crops of talented men and women that you've already witnessed, are hungry, dedicated, and determined to win your approval, or succeed beyond ANY means. And THAT's something to look forward to...now, along with this new position of mine, in my contract, it is stated I have the power to make matches...correct, Luna?

Luna: That is correct, yes. As long as I approve them.

Swirlanaitis: In that case, this is going to be an EXCELLENT show for you all! Tonight, after 23 minutes of BREATHTAKING action last week, I am going to give you...the rematch: Rarity, will take on Colgate -Crowd already begins cheering-...HOLD ON! In a 30 MINUTE...IRON. WOMAN. MATCH! -Crowd explodes with cheers-

Ahuizotl: That's incredible!

Luna: And for those that do not know, the rules of the Iron Woman Match are simple: We put 30 minutes up on the clock. Whichever superstar has the most decisions, be-it gained by pinfall, submission, count-out, or disqualification when the 30 minute time limit expires, is the winner...I accept. -Crowd continues cheering-

Swirlanaitis: That's not ALL, though...tonight on Lunacy, we will be debuting ANOTHER NEW match-type for all our MALE fans...-the men in the audience whoop-...it is called, the SAUNA MATCH.

Garble: SOUNDS GREAT!

Swirlanaitis: I will leave your imaginations to ponder what exactly the rules of THAT match could be...

Luna: I know what they are, and I accept! And, just as promised, we will be having the first EVER championship DEBATE tonight. All of the Superstars of Lunacy will be lined up outside the ring, and they will have the opportunity to ask the Eternal Women's World Champion, Lightning Dust, and the challenger to her title, Twilight Sparkle, a question. The two will then debate, and the superstars will decide who is correct.

Swirlanaitis: -Nods- I'd accept that, but I'm not in the position of power you are...-chuckles with Luna- Enjoy your show, everybody! -The crowd cheers as Luna and Swirlanaitis leave the ring.-

Ahuizotl: OhohohoHO! Proving Grounds is sure to be nothing short of SPECTACULAR, but let's not discount what we'll be getting tonight on Monday Night Lunacy! The rematch between Rarity and Colgate, which is set to be a 30 MINUTE Iron Woman Match, this "Sauna" match, the championship debate, and who KNOWS what'll happen next?!

Garble: I'm looking forward to that damn SAUNA match! Apparently we'll be given the rules to explain to the crowd before the match starts, but I have a STRONG FEELING about how this match is going to play out...and I hope to the Hormonal POPE that I am right!

Ahuizotl: Before any of that, however, let's take it to the ring, for our FIRST match of the evening...

Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky... -Crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for OOONNEE FALL! Introducing FIRST...accompanied to the ring by "MARBLE COLD" Berry Punch! From LOONNEYYVVILLEE, weighing in at 118 POOOUUUNNDDSSS...SCOOOOOOOTAAAALLLLOOOOOO!

Ahuizotl: And what BETTER way to kick off the action here tonight on Lunacy, then with the biggest DAREDEVIL on Lunacy!

Garble: Berry Punch?

Ahuizotl: No, SHE's the biggest bad-ass...SCOOTALOO is the biggest daredevil!

Garble: And you're saying SCOOTALOO can't be a bad-ass, too?

Ahuizotl: NO! I-...I just mean...

Garble: Look man, you don't have to be such a dick. Everyone has a little bit of bad-ass inside of them...except YOU.

Ahuizotl: WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS!

-Pause-

Garble: So, 'Zotl...what'd you think of Daring Do's debut on Sublime last week? -Smirks-

Ahuizotl: SHE CHEATED!

Garble: -Chuckles- Ooooofff COURSE she diiiidd...

Ahuizotl: At least now those stupid crowd chants can stop...

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: WHHHHHYYYYYY!? YOU HAVE HER, YOU SMARKS!

Garble: What's wrong with wanting the woman again? She's bangin'.

Ahuizotl: MY GOD WHY IS SCOOTALOO'S ENTRANCE SO LONG?!

-Berry Punch works the four turnbuckles, as Scootaloo slides into the ring and jumps on the turnbuckle diagonal of Berry Punch. She does a backflip off of it to cheers of approval from the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: These two should make a very imposing tag team in 6 nights. Odd, but imposing.

Garble: We already know Berry Punch has gave her WORD that she will watch Scootaloo's back, because it's clear nobody else will. That's why she's out here tonight, after all, because Scootaloo is going to be stared down by THREE of the baddest bitches in wrestling...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true... -There are many boos from the crowd, but still some audible cheers-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd HER OPPONENT! Accompanied to the ring by Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara! From LONNEYYVVIILLLEE...weighing in at 122 POOOUUNNDSSS...TURF!

Ahuizotl: This will be our first look at the...vocal one of the Mean Girls, Turf, in singles action.

Garble: Oh how I love ALL of the Mean Girls...Turf to me, though, is the wildcard. She doesn't give a damn WHAT people think about her opinions, she'll say them anyway!

Ahuizotl: Last week, one of her "besties", Silver Spoon, lost a match to Berry Punch, and Turf was the victim of a Bar Tab finishing move. Turf has been wanting to get her hands on Berry Punch for a WEEK now because of that, but she'll have to settle for Scootaloo instead here tonight.

Garble: And Turf doesn't mind that ONE bit, believe me. Berry Punch is FRESH MEAT to the Mean Girls, but Scootaloo? They've been messing with her for MANY years now, and they don't seem to be tired of it yet...

Match 1: Scootaloo w/ Berry Punch vs Turf w/ Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara

Garble: -With glee- Oh goody! It seems we're being joined here on commentary with Silver Spoon and -kisses Diamond's hand- Diamond Tiara! HELLO, girls! -Diamond and Silver Spoon sit down next to Garble, putting their headsets on-

Silver Spoon: Ugh! Has anyone else like, USED these before? The LAST thing I want is someone's DISGUSTING sweat all over my ears...

Ahuizotl: I'm sure they were attended to your liking...

Garble: Diamond, do you need something to lay your neck against? Are you feeling alright?

Diamond: The fact that this swivel chair isn't LACED with sparkles is the only thing causing me pain right now...I'm actually getting better at a RAPID pace, THANK YOU for asking...-glares at Ahuizotl-

Ahuizotl: No offense Diamond, but I'm actually interested in seeing Turf compete. It's the first time we've seen her in this atmosphere, IN FACT...NONE of you ladies have won ANY match here in the EWF...

Silver Spoon: -Scrunches her nose- It's only because everyone else in the back is JEALOUS of how much prettier and better WRESTLERS we are than them...everybody in that battle royal went after US, and THAT'S why poor Diamond got hurt!

Ahuizotl: If you ladies were "better wrestlers" than all the others...wouldn't that make you UNDEFEATED? You haven't even won A MATCH. You're DEFEATED every week.

Diamond: -Scoff- Look, monkey-boy, the girls have been under a LOT of stress recently. They have to fetch me ice-packs to soothe my battle-wound! They can't eat because they have to FEED ME, and they can't sleep because they have to FLUFF MY PILLOW! It's been SO hard on them...they're such dolls...-kisses Silver Spoon on the forehead, which Silver Spoon drools a bit at.-

Garble: Awww...I'm glad you're getting better, Diamond.

Diamond: AS you should be...

Ahuizotl: Oh please...

-12 minutes later-

-Turf runs at Scootaloo, who is groggy against the ropes. Scootaloo ducks and launches Turf over the ropes and outside by the announce table.-

Diamond: UGH! -Beats the table- COME ON, TURF!

Silver Spoon: Yeah, like...Eye of the Tiger and all those other cliche boxing movie tropes!

Ahuizotl: You know...these fans can chant "DARING DO" all they want! SCOOTALOO is FAR better than that Stunt-Woman! She's "Daring Scoo!"

Garble: PFFFFTTTTTTTTTT! WHAT?! -Busting a gut- THE HELL DID YOU CALL HER?!

Ahuizotl: DARING SCOO! THE BETTER VERSION OF DARING DO!

Garble: -Wiping tears out of his eyes- Are you hearing this, girls?!

Diamond: -Concentrated, with her hands clasped and her head resting on them- I'll agree with you BOTH on one thing...Daring Do is NOTHING special. The fans should be chanting "DIAMOND TIARA" EVERY week. But THAT is the most IDIOTIC nickname I've EVER heard! There is nothing "Daring" about...BLEH...Scootaloo...

-Scootaloo bounces off the ropes-

Ahuizotl: Well, unlike Daring Do, Scootaloo is about to wow this cro- -Scootaloo sunset flips over the top rope as the crowd's anticipation rises to its fullest potential.- OOWWWWDDDDDD! -Turf moves out of the way at the last second, sending Scootaloo crashing tail-bone first into the announce table. The crowd "OOOOH's", as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon look on in near orgasmic delight.-

Diamond: -Cackling- So much for "Daring"! Now she knows what it feels like to be in pain beyond all belief!

Turf: -To the crowd, pointing at Scootaloo- IS THIS YOUR GIRL?! HUH?! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR GIRL NOW?! SHE'S MY BITCH UNTIL I'M DONE WITH HER! -Turf latches her hands onto Scootaloo's hair, and throws her into the ring. Berry Punch runs at Turf, but misses Turf just as she gets in the ring. Silver Spoon throws off her headset, grabs Berry, and Irish whips her sternum first into the announce table. The crowd boos.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! There was no reason for that...

Diamond: -Getting up- That's why the H.B.I.C.'s RUN this whole fucking thing! REMEMBER IT! -Throws her headset at Ahuizotl, and goes over to kick Berry in the stomach as she's still on the ground.-

Garble: Sure is a little angel, isn't she...

Ahuizotl: She sure has a tight grip on YOUR ball-sack if you believe that...

-Turf picks up Scootaloo in the ring, and executes *REDACTED MOVE* on her. She hooks her leg-

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Garble: Turf did it! You SHOULDN'T have brought it up, 'Zotl because Turf just scored the Mean Girls' FIRST win...in the EWF!

Ahuizotl: And she did it without ANY help from her "besties", so I'll give the young lady credit for that...but MAN! The Mean Girls...that fits them to a TEE.

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: THE MORE YOU CHANT...THE MORE WE FUCK HER UP! YOU CHOICE!

-Diamond gets in the ring as the chant cease, but she still points to Scootaloo.-

Ahuizotl: Oh...what more can they do to this poor girl...?

Garble: Diamond will NOT stop until Scootaloo KNOWS who runs the show around here...

Ahuizotl: Diamond's delusional. Silver Spoon's delusional. Turf's delusional, because NONE OF THEM do!

-Silver Spoon tosses Scootaloo out of the ring as Turf lifts up Berry Punch and drops her sternum first on the top of the announce table. Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and executes a back suplex on the barricade, which works over Scootaloo's tailbone some more. Scootaloo falls to the ground in agonizing
screams.-

Turf: CHANT YOUR WORTHLESS SHIT NOW! IT WILL NEVER SAVE HER!

Crowd: SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO!

Turf: -Shaking her head- You asked for it, then...-at Silver Spoon- SET HER UP!

Ahuizotl: Why won't they just walk away?!

Garble: Because they CAN'T, dammit! They would've if the crowd would just shut up!

Ahuizotl: They're just trying to show their favorite superstar that they give a damn when they're in pain!

Garble: Yet they can't chant for Daring Do just because they want to see her?

-Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and places her against the barricade. She holds her there as Turf runs towards her, and she lets go when Turf is close enough to deliver a running dropkick that is RIGHT ON TARGET to Scootaloo's tailbone.-

Garble: Now Scootaloo knows what it feels like to be HURT...BADLY. Diamond Tiara can only PLEAD that she is injured!

Ahuizotl: Unlike Diamond Tiara's injury, though, which happened quick, The Mean Girls are going to make sure Scootaloo's injury is as slow and PAINFUL as it can be...

Turf: TAG. TEAM. CHAMPIONS. BIIITTCCHHEEEESSSS! -The crowd continues to boo as Diamond Tiara raises the hands of her two cohorts, as Scootaloo and Berry Punch lay flat on the ground.

Ahuizotl: The Mean Girls...sending an absolutely DISGUSTING message to their opponents at Proving Grounds...

Garble: I thought it was pretty beautiful. The tag team division is going to go places with Turf and Silver Spoon as the champions!

*Backstage*

-Rumble is seen walking, taking a selfie with each step he takes. Out of nowhere, he is grabbed by Hugh Jelly and pressed up against a steel loading door.-

Rumble: -Struggling- HEY! HEY! HEY! Watch the Jacket...it's made from Dolphin.

Hugh Jelly: Yeah? Well your face is about to be made of MEAT!

Rumble: -Emotionless face- ...Cute. Now, let me the hell go!

Bill Neigh: We REFUSE to let you go! The chances of Midnight Strike getting brutalized last week were a 0.21% chance before you sent your familiars after her...and US.

Rumble: -Laughing- Oho...OH! You think that I told big bad Horsepower and the Roses to go out there, cost you your match, and hurt your girlfriend, Jam-Master?

Dance Fever: Ehhh...why wouldn't it be you, daddy? You one BAD cat!

Rumble: Listen here, Hot-Pants...neither Horsepower, Flitter, OR Cloudchaser have contracts with ME...I don't OWN them. They have contracts with the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...as do I...as do you all...they're all three grown men and women that can make their OWN decisions. I met Horsepower at a Nightclub, and we became great friends. Flitter and Cloudchaser I met through my brother...I've known them since I was a kid...we aren't an ITEM. We aren't DATING. We're merely FRIENDS...-chuckling- with benefits...-Hugh lets Rumble go- I have a title match with Overdrive to worry about. I have no reason to want to pick a fight with ANY of you...my friends? They apparently did, and I can't tell you why...and, truthfully, I'm not going to ask...

Hugh: You're not even going to APOLOGIZE on behalf of them?

Rumble: APOLOGIZE? Oh, Slam-Jam, WHY would I stoop myself so low as to garner you with my eternal sorrow? I never had a reason to set my sights on any of you...because you're NOTHING. You're not even BLIPS on my radar...hmph. I'm not wasting my time with you, but you should be HONORED that my other GORGEOUS friends have decided to...you should've ran away to your girlfriend instead of picking a fight with the wrong crowd...tonight, you're all going to witness what my friends can do, because they're ALL going to be in action at ONCE. And at Proving Grounds...they're going to DESTROY YOU, Aunt Jamima...YOU, Doink the Chump, and your little damsel in distress...just like I'm about to destroy YOU, Disco-Dork in our match...NEXT. -Walks off, whistling his theme music and taking more selfies as the Oddities watch him leave.-

Dance: -Pounding his hand- Man...that ain't cool...

*Commercial*

Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show... -The crowd cheers-

Garble: And there you go, 'Zotl...no need to paint Rumble as this "super ultra bad guy" anymore. He had NOTHING to do with the interference of Horsepower and the Roses last week!

Ahuizotl: He just insulted the Oddities with some of the worst nicknames I've ever heard, though...

Garble: Hey! I think "Aunt Jamima" is a GREAT nickname!

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing FIRST, representing The Oddities! Weighing in at 228 POOOUUUNNDSS...DANCEEE..FEEEVVEEERR!

Ahuizotl: First time we've seen ANY member of the Oddities BESIDES Midnight Strike in singles competition.

Garble: Where is she, anyway?

Ahuizotl: You DO realize she was attacked by a near 300 pound man last week...correct?

Garble: Jeez, just figured she was tougher than that...

Ahuizotl: ...Unbelievable.

-Dance Fever does some outdated dance moves from the 70's as the crowd and the Oddities clap to the beat of their entrance-

-Rumble does his usual entrance which you hopefully know how it works if not GO TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE-

Garble: But now...the dancing must STOP, as all make way for the sheer GORGEOUSNESS that is Rumble...

Ahuizotl: And Rumble has a GORGEOUS opportunity this Sunday to be crowned the first EVER Champion of Carnage...he just has to beat the adrenaline fueled Overdrive.

Garble: Pft. Is that all? Rumble is up to the challenge...TRUST ME.

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: And the fans seem to be behind him...for SOME reason.

Garble: Didn't you HEAR them? He's gorgeous!

Ahuizotl: And...?

Garble: He...his jacket is made of DOLPHIN!

Ahuizotl: Supposedly...

Garble: -Sigh- Yeeeaaahh...for some reason I don't see that being a thing.

Match 2: Dance Fever vs Rumble

-As the bell rings, Rumble is still taking selfies-

Ahuizotl: APPARENTLY he didn't get the memo...

Garble: Leave him alone! He's got to get a few more good ones in!

-The referee approaches Rumble-

Ref: Put it down, Rumble! Start the match! -Dance Fever is waiting for Rumble. He's no longer dancing. He's all serious.-

Rumble: Hold on! Just need to get my good side! -Takes a few more selfies before cheap-shotting Dance Fever. The crowd cheers as Rumble lays his cell phone down in the corner to go to work on Dance.-

-7 minutes later-

-Dance rushes at Rumble, but Rumble lifts him up into the air and FLATTENS him into a Flapjack-

Garble: And this match has been ALL Rumble! He's proved that Dance Fever isn't a threat to him in ANY way!

Ahuizotl: But the match isn't over yet...now is it?

-Rumble begins the set-up to his "Snap Shot" spinning heel kick finisher-

Garble: It's about to be...

-All of a sudden, the crowd begins to boo as Overdrive sprints down to the ring-

Ahuizotl: It's Overdrive! Rumble's opponent at Proving Grounds!

Garble: Oh CAN'T YOU WAIT A DAMN MINUTE?! We're seeing PERFECTION in the ring!

-Overdrive swipes Rumble's camera from the corner, sending Rumble into a frenzy as he approaches the ropes-

Rumble: Hands off my STUFF, pin-head! Yelling causes my throat to deteriorate and making mad-faces causes WRINKLES, so give it ba- -Dance Fever rolls up Rumble-

1...2...3! -Most of the crowd boos, as Dance Fever rolls out of the ring. Rumble is on his knees, his hands being slapped to the top of his head-

Ahuizotl: He did it! dance Fever has secured the first win for ANY Oddity!

Garble: IT WAS A FLUKE! IT WAS A FLUKE AND ALL THOSE LOSER ODDITIES KNOW IT! NONE OF THEM COULD BEAT RUMBLE ON HIS BEST DAY! OVERDRIVE...YOU SUCK BIG TIME, BUDDY! YOU CAN'T BEAT RUMBLE EITHER, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO EMBARRASS HIM!

Ahuizotl: Hey, better stop yelling...it "deteriorates" your throat...

Garble: I AM NOT YELLING I AM CLAIMING IGNORANCE ON EVERYTHING THAT MY EYES HAVE JUST WITNESSED!

Ahuizotl: I don't see the difference...

-Overdrive places Rumble's phone on the ground, and Rumble realizes what he's about to do. He clasps in hands in prayer-

Rumble: NO! NO! PLEASE! IT'S A TOUCH SCREEN!

-Overdrive fakes sympathy, but ultimately crushed Rumble's phone with his shoe. The crowd cannot stop booing-

Crowd: OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS!

-Rumble begins pounding at the mat as tears roll down his face-

Garble: Goddammit! Look at this man! Poor Rumble is crying his eyes out over the loss of his beloved phone!

Ahuizotl: I know...isn't it pathetic. Can't he just buy a new one?

Garble: Why? So shitty Overdrive can KILL that one too?!

-Overdrive steps on the phone one final time, as a random chip flies into the crowd-

Garble: HEY! THAT COULD KILL A FAN!

Ahuizotl: That couldn't even kill an ant...

-Overdrive throws the remains of the phone back in the ring, does the "imaginary title belt" motion across his stomach, and walks off without a hint of forgiveness in his body. Rumble shields his body over the final remains of his phone, and weeps-

Rumble: MY BABYYYY! -He looks towards the stage- I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, OVERDRIVE! YOU DON'T MESS WITH A MAN'S PHOOOOO-OOOOONEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Welp, time to get a Nokia! They're indestructible!

Garble: YOU FUCKER! HAVE YE NO SOUL?! HAVE YE NO CONSCIENCE?! HAVE YE NO SYMPATHY FOR THIS POOR MAN?!

Ahuizotl: I can just picture the Verizon guy saying "Can you hear me now?" And he is met with no response...EVER.

Garble: TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK SO THIS ASSHOLE NEXT TO ME CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF FOR A FEW MINUTES!

-We go to commercial break with Rumble literally rolling in the pieces of his broken phone, as chants "Rumble" break out.-

Garble: -His head hung low- Ladies and gentlemen, we would just like to remind you that this is NOT a part of the entertainment we provide you with each and every week...I- -nearly chokes up-...I have the responsibility to let you all know that...Rumble's phone has died...-sniffles-...Rumble's phone has tragically died...here tonight, as a result of Overdrive's shoe's fall into his face...-"One Thing" by Finger Eleven plays in the background as many fans applaud the graphic that has just came up on the titantron. It has a picture of Rumble's face because Rumble never took a picture of his own phone that would be gay and it has the caption under below the picture: "Rumble's phone. Three weeks ago to Today."-

-There is a moment of silence, followed by a 10 bell salute-

Garble: Overdrive took Rumble's phone's SOUL...with his own SOLE...but FUCK THAT PHONE! -Grins- It's time for the SAUNA MATCH!

Ahuizotl: I knew that would cheer you up. I'm pretty excited to...care to mind the rules, since this is sure to be your FAVORITE match-type EVER?

Garble: I GLADLY will! -Rubs his hands together- The rules of the Sauna match are fairly simple. Two women will step into a sauna, provided by Sublime's very own Spa Twins, Aloe and Lotus, so thanks to them...I wish they could be the participants in the match but oh well. The women will be in their wrestling gear-nice, nice...the winner will be the FIRST woman to remove her - Eyes go big-...HOT STICKY AND CLUNG TO HER BODY WRESTLING GEAR...-Gasps-due to the extreme heatness they will be feeling as a result of being in the sauna...but the real winner...will be US! THE FANS! WHO GIVES A FUCK WHO WINS?! A NEKKID WOMAN IS THE BEST KIND OF WOMAN!

Ahuizotl: Amen to that...-imagines Daring Do in a sauna while wearing a towel. She fans herself and crosses her legs so he can get a small glimpse of her pussy lips.- THIS IS INHUMANE! CUT TO THE DAMN SAUNA SO THESE WOMEN CAN DEGRADE THEMSELVES FOR OUR PLEASURE!

-We cut to the Sauna, where the door is open and ready for its two participants-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Introducing first...from LOONNEYYVVIILLLE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSS...SPAAARRRKKLLERRRRR!

-Sparkler walks into the sauna wearing her towel, but she has her arms crossed. She has a look that borders "pissed off" and "I'm too pure and wholesome to show my body waaahhhhh WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Garble: Alright, alright! Sparkler is pretty damn sexy! Nice start so far!

Ahuizotl: But she doesn't look very happy to be here...

Garble: If she doesn't wanna strip, then DAMMIT! But if she doesn't CARE if we're mad at that, cuz she's a BITCH, then all she has to do is take the heat!

I swear I won't tease you-won't tell you no li-Ies... -Sparkler's face droops, as all the fans in the arena fully understand what they are about to witness. This is no exaggeration...EVERYBODY WATCHING THIS, WHETHER IT BE LIVE OR AT HOME, IS SCREAMING IN TERROR. NOT BOOING...SCREAMING IN GOD DAMN RECTAL TERROR. ALL OF THEIR BONERS? DEAD. THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS TO SEE THE SEXIEST GIMMICK MATCH THEY'VE EVER SEEN? DEAD. UNCLE PHIL FROM FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR? DEAD, BUT UNCLE PHIL WOULD'VE JERKED OFF TO THIS MATCH JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THAT DAY, ALL THE LITTLE KIDS CRIED ON THE CAR-RIDE HOME, COMPLAINING TO THEIR PARENTS: "DADDDDYYYY! WHY DIDN'T I GET TO SEE DAH PRETTY LADIES BOOOOBBBIIEESSSS?" AND, WITH A SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK, THE FATHER REPLIES: "BECAUSE, SON...GOD IS DEAD." AND GOD WOULD LOVE THIS MATCH, TOO. HE HAD HIS LOTION AND TISSUES ALL READY, BUT FUCKING GAY DICK-FUCK ZEUS DIDN'T GET HIS SHITTY THUNDERSTORM IN BUTTE, MONTANA, SO HE FUCKING MAKES TWIST APPEAR SOMEHOW I DUNNO BUT GODDAMMIT. THE WORLD WAS WATCHING, WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT...ALL THE NECKBEARDS AND VIRGINS OF THE WORLD WHEEZED SO HARD THEY HAD TO GRAB THEIR INHALER AND PUFF PUFF PUFF. NOT ONLY DRUGS BUT ALSO...YA KNOW THEIR INHALER. THEY WERE ALL SET TO "INHALE" THIS MATCH HAHAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE AHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SCRUB BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. NOBODY IS GOING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD, TOO. AND HE AND MILFY MRS. CLAUSE WERE BOTH GOING TO HAVE FOREPLAY WITH EACH OTHER AS THIS MATCH WENT THROUGH LIVE ON THE TELE. BY THE WAY...FUCK THE BRITISH. SAY TELEVISION, YOU QUEEF-BURGLARS. I BEG OF YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS. HOW ARE TERMITES NOT IN YOUR MOUTHS YET? SO ANYWAY WOW I SURE TYPED A LOT WELP TIME TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF BECAUSE SUICIDE SOLVES EVERYTHING. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, KURT COBAIN.-

Garble: -Quiet-...no...-Louder-...NO...-As loud as one can be-...NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! ANYBODY! ANYBODY BUT TWIST! WHY!? WHY!? FUCKING WHY I ASK OF YOU!?

-Twist comes twerking into the sauna, as she didn't even BOTHER putting a towel on-

-Ahuizotl is already under the commentary table, as Garble munches on turnbuckle pads. People try to throw their sodas at the titantron to short it out, but it all misses by a long shot-

Ahuizotl: HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS! -THINKS OF DARING DO EATING A CORNDOG THAT IS COVERED IN MAYONNAISE. SHE EATS IT SLOWLY, AND TEASES BY INSERTING IT INTO HER MOUTH AGAIN AND AGAIN, ALL THE WHILE WAGGLING HER EYEBROWS.- GAAAAAAHHHH! I...It's still better than whatever is happening on the battlefield...-keeps thinking these thoughts, sucking his thumb as they play through his head.-

-Twist sits down on the bench opposite of Sparkler, licking her lips.-

Twist: Let's see if you can take my "heat"...

Match 3: Sauna Match: Sparkler vs Twist

-As soon as the bell rings, Sparkler jumps up from her bench, and yanks her towel off-

Sparkler: FUCK THIS!

Twist: Oh...I intend to...

-Sparkler rips her wrestling attire, exposing her ENTIRE BODY THAT HAS NO STEAM RESONATING OFF OF WHICH SUCKS BUT OH WELL YAY NAKED SLUT TO THE PUBLIC BUT EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD HAS THEIR HANDS COVERING THEIR FACE, except for one 6 year old little boy in the audience. Who ignored his father's advice and at the appropriate time took one hand off of one eye and gasped in delight at what he saw. He began to tug on his father's shirt-

LITTLE SHIT: Daddy, daddy! I saw BOOOBBBBBBYYYYY!

BIG SHIT: NOOOOOO SOOOOOOONNNNN! DO NOT LIE TO YOUR POOR OLD MAN! SHIELD YOUR EYES! -The father turns his head to the side to avoid what he DOESN'T BELIEVE IS SPARKLER'S NEKKID SEXEH BODEH THAT IS QUICKLY COLLECTING MORE SWEAT WHICH MAKES IT BETTER and uses one of his large hands to engulf his son's smaller eyes away from the "monstrosity" that is purple sex on the titantron-

LITTLE SHIT: -Frowns- Why does it even matter, daddy? You'd need Viagra for your wiener to grow in this predicament, anyway...

BIG SHIT: -Sniffles- I know, son...I KNOW.

-The timekeeper can't even see what is happening but he rings the bell and hopes the announcer can understand what he is doing-

Announcer: -Does understand- Here is your WINNER...SPARKLER! GET THE FUCKING MATCH OFF OF THE SCREEN!

-Sparkler runs for the door, but it shuts right in her face. She tries to open it, but realizes she's been locked out. Panicked, she looks back to see Twist has stood up from her bench.-

Twist: I don't mind if I lost, because in the end...I'M a winner, too...-snorts combined with giggles-...where ya running off to? Hop aboard the Steam-Twain! -Twist grabs a hold of her attire, and stretches it out so far it rips. Thankfully, the camera crew are able to cut away from that scene before we can see any of Twist's peppermint pussy.-

*Princess Luna's office*

-Princess Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are having some casual conversation as Sunset Shimmer bursts through the door.-

Swirlanaitis: Ah...Sunset Shimmer. -Extends his hand- Nice to meet you.

Sunset: -Stares at his hand with a raised eyebrow, and chuckles- Another corporate sellout who traded in his quirky personality and scrotum for a suit, a corner office, and a chance to be on TV? -Shakes her head- Why should I respect YOU? You're everything I HATE.

Swirlanaitis: -Frowns- I'm sorry to hear that...

Luna: Ms. Shimmer, how DARE you speak to the man that controls your contrac-

Swirlanaitis: No, no, Luna...it's fine. It's a...lot to get used to myself...Sunset IS one of the more...direct members of Lunacy's roster, I've noticed.

Sunset: Damn right. -Crosses her arms and smirks-

Luna: Which would explain why she just so happens to BURST into my office. -Glares at Sunset. Sunset shrugs. Luna sighs.- What can we do for you...Sunset?

Sunset: For the past two weeks, that little pink gnat Cadance has been on my case! Every time I turn around, THERE SHE IS...interrupting MY opportunity to DOMINATE Twilight Sparkle. She took away my chance to challenge for the Eternal Women's title, and she snuck up from behind me last week!

Luna: Much like YOU'VE been doing since the first episode of Lunacy...bashing her back with a steel chair, slamming her head into a crate...

Swirlanaitis: Sounds like a pretty nice track record to me.

Luna: Star Swirl...please. Was that the only reason you came here, Sunset? To complain?

Sunset: GRRRRR...No! I want a chance to get BACK at her! You think I can wait SIX more days to pull this little pink THORN out of my side?

Swirlanaitis: Going to need some BIG plyers to tackle that job...-chuckles.-

Sunset: Did...did you just call Cadance FAT? -Laughs- Oh man...I kind of like you...-Swirlanaitis gasps-

Luna: -Glares at Swirlanaitis again- I believe we may be able to give you what you want, while making a GREAT main event at the same time...tonight, you, Sunset, will team up with Snips and Snails...to take on Cadance, and HER partners...Shining Armor, and your boyfriend...Flash Sentry.

Sunset: WHAT?! You expect me to face my BOYFRIEND?

Luna: Calm down...it's NOT an intergender match. Boys face boys, girls face girls. Plus, it combines two of Lunacy's rivalries into one big match, as we've been doing the past few weeks.

Swirlanaitis: Great marketing strategy! -Smiles-

Sunset: Whatever...I suppose it will HAVE to do. These six days are going to fly by in a breeze, anyway...-looks at Swirlanaitis- Just be ready to terminate that bitch's contract once she won't be able to compete after the injuries I'M going to give her... -Snickers, and leaves the office-

Swirlanaitis: -Leans in towards Luna- DRAAAAMMMAAAAAA... -Luna giggles-

-As we cut back to the arena, we get the lasting image of Garble, still with turnbuckle pad in his mouth, being dragged out of the arena by "White Coats", as they plan to take him to the nearest insane asylum. Ahuizotl is still under the announce table, trembling with fear as Daring Do dunks her corndog in MELTED BUTTER. So yeah we now have no commentary.-

*RUMBLE'S THEME* -Most of the crowd cheers-

-Horsepower walks down the aisle in another big suit, carrying the velvet rope with him. He quickly sets it up as Flitter and Cloudchaser come out, arm in arm in their wrestling gear, eliciting many cheers and horny wolf-whistles from the crowd that are happy to see hot women instead of...what was going to happen BEFORE this match. Horsepower opens the rope to allow the girls entry, and Cloudchaser pats Horsepower's cheek as she and Flitter stand next to Horsepower. Horsepower rips off his massive suit, and leads the girls to the ring.-

Announcer: The following HANDICAP MATCH...is scheduled for OOONNEEE FAAAALLL! In the ring, at a combined weight of 497 POOOOUUNNDDSSS...HOOORRSSEEPPOOWWEERRR...FLIIITTERRR...AND CLOOOUUDCHASSEERR!

-Horsepower flexes in the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rest on his shoulders and point at him, signifying that "YEH FUQQERS WE GOT DAH ROIDED GAI ON OUR TEEM WUT NAW."-

Since they wanna know... -Decent pop-

Announcer: AAANNDDD...THEIR opponent...from LOONNEEYYVVIILLLEEE...weighing in at 157 POOOUUUNNDDSS...GIIZZZMMMOOOOO!

-Gizmo comes out with his boxing gloves, as his grandfather Geri is not far behind-

Geri: Alright, kid...your first match? Ya didn't do so good. Your second match? You're REALLY gonna stiff 'em up!

Gizmo: -Wheezes- But, grandpa...there's LADIES in that ring...-sweats-

Geri: Yeah! And if ya rough 'em up real good, then they'll go on a date with you so you can get your sorry BUTT out of your poor mom and pop's house.

Gizmo: I'm not quite sure if that's how love works...

Geri: Eh, why do you think I've got all these scars on my cheek, sonny?

Gizmo: You mean...grandma HIT you?

Geri: EH-HEH-HEH-HEEEEEHHHHH...nah, these are just from the war...-squirts some water down Gizmo's throat, which almost causes him to choke- Get 'em! -Pushes his grandson into the center of the ring, where Flitter is waiting.

Gizmo: Uhhmmm...-snorts-...Hi, Flitter...

Flitter: WOOOWWWWW, Gizzy! What big BOXING GLOVES you have!

Gizmo: You...-blushes- you really like them?

Flitter: -Nods- MHM! Oh, I bet you could STIFF someone REALLY good with those, couldn't you...? -Wraps her arms around Gizmo's neck-

Gizmo: -Laughs nervously- Eheheheh...well...to be quite honest...IIIIIIIIIIIIII've...never really "knocked anybody out" yet...

Flitter: -Giggles, and leans in to whisper in Gizmo's ear- Well...tonight could be your lucky night...-licks Gizmo's ear lobe, causing his chest to compress over and over again. Flitter bites her bottom lip.-

Gizmo: P-...perhaps it could be...

Flitter: Oh...-pouts- But you wouldn't hurt wittle owe Fwitter...-puppy dog eyes-...would yew?

Gizmo: N-No! N-never, Flitter...NEVER.

Flitter: -Giggles again- That's good! -Steps back- Because you've gotta put those gloves to good use...

-Gizmo doesn't quite get what she means by that, but he figures it out when he gets MOWED over by Horsepower with a running shoulder block. Horsepower screeches as Flitter skips out of the ring, gaining a high five from her friend for good effort-

Match 4: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Gizmo

-4 minutes later...-

-Horsepower connects with a Dominator. He snorts, and notices that Cloudchaser WILLINGLY wants the tag. Horsepower obliges, and tags her in, the first time EITHER one of the Roses have gotten a tag in this match. Cloudchaser slowly makes her way into the ring, as she has Gizmo RIGHT where she wants him. She goes up to Gizmo and nudges his side with her boot, but gets no response. She then proceeds to STEP onto and over Gizmo's body, and opts to LOUNGE her shoulders and back onto him, rather than pinning him.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Cloudchaser sits up and throws her arms out to the side in a "Yeah, I did that" manner-

Announcer: Here are YOUR WINNERS...Horsepoweeeerrrr...Flitteeerrrr...AAANNDD Cloudchaasseerrr!

-Flitter skips into the ring, and high fives Cloudchaser. They then pick up Gizmo to do some more damage. They both laugh like they're riding through California in a sun-roofed convertible, as they each plant a kiss on Gizmo's forehead, before planting him into the mat with a Double DDT. Geri throws the towel in, but it's already too late. Horsepower raises their hands, and the girls hug Horsepower before all three leave the ring. Geri gets in the ring and begins blowing his whistle in his grand-son's face, attempting to wake him up, but he is knocked out cold.-

-We cut backstage to a split screen showing of Rarity and Colgate walking through different hallways. Colgate has a menacing smirk on her face, while Rarity has a determined look on hers. They are each coming out to the ring for their 30 minute Iron Woman match...next.-

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest...is the THIIIRRTTTYY MINUTE...IRON WOMAN MAATTTCCHHH...-the crowd explodes with cheers, as they realize what match is about to occur- Whichever competitor has the MOST decisions, over the course of the 30 minute time limit...will be VICTORIOUS!

*DRILL SOUNDS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO INTIMIDATE EVERYBODY* -Large cheers from the crowd-

Announcer: Introducing FIRST! From LOONEYYVIILLEE...weighing in at 132 POOOUUNDSSS...COOOLLGATE!

*REDACTED THEME* -More crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanddd...HER OPPONENT! From LOONNEEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing in at 127 POOOUNDSS...RAAARRIITTTTYY!

-You can literally FEEL the anticipation of the crowd RISE as Colgate and Rarity stare each other down. After their CLASSIC match last week, to say the fans are looking forward to this rematch would be the understatement to end ALL understatements!

Crowd: LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE!

Match 5: 30 Minute Iron Woman Match: Rarity vs Colgate

-27 minutes later-

Crowd: NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-2 minutes later-

-Both Rarity and Colgate are on the top rope. Rarity goes for a superplex, but Colgate avoids this by forcing her hand into Rarity's mouth, which gains a big pop from the crowd. Rarity loses her train of thought as her teeth are being stretched out by Colgate five feet in the air. Colgate uses her free hand to grab a handful of Rarity's trunks, and jump off of the top rope with a hard SLAM to the mat. It's like a Chokeslam, but the hand is in the mouth and not around the throat. Whatever it was, the crowd LOVES it, and they are just as shocked that Colgate STILL has the Root Canal locked in.-

-Many seconds later-

-Rarity has tried to drag herself to the ropes in a last ditch effort to escape this excruciating hold, but Colgate has a FIRM grip on her molars.-

5...4...3...2...1...-The crowd counted down the final remaining seconds of the match, and as the bell rings, Rarity still DID NOT tap. She had survived the dreaded Root Canal for a full MINUTE!-

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...in the 30 minute time limit given...NEITHER superstar was able to secure a decision...therefore, this match...is a DRAW. -The crowd boos at that, as Colgate herself cannot believe Rarity didn't give up.-

Crowd: OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME!

-Instead of giving the crowd what they want, Colgate rolls out of the ring, and walks up the ramp in frustration. The crowd boos her, as Rarity is left clutching at her mouth in the ring, a bit of blood leaking onto her hands. The crowd, however, could NOT have been any happier about the outcome of the match...UNTIL the end.-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME* -A few boos-

Announcer: The following is a six person MIXED...tag team match, and it is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from CRYSTALVILLE...weighing in at 129 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

The sky turns to a different shade of blue... -Mostly crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...HER partners! At a combined weight of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...Shining Armor...and Flash SEEENNTTRRRYYYY...THE BROOOMAANNSSS!

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

-Flash Sentry uses the ropes to jump into the ring, as Shining Armor kisses his girlfriend good luck. There are small chants of "YOU DESERVE BETTER" being directing towards Shining Armor-

*REDACTED THEME* -Mostly boos-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...their opponents! FIRST...at a combined weight of 402 POOOUUNDSSSS...Snips...and Snails...SLLLLLLIIIIMEEEE...

-Snips and Snails sneak to the ring, but stop at the end of the ramp as they await for their tag team partner.-

And now...it's all over now... -If there are boos, you can't hear them over the cheers-

Announcer: Aaaannddd...THEIR partner! From CAANTTERRLLOOTT...weighing in at 143 POOOUUNNDSSS...SUN...SEEEEETT...SHIMMER!

Crowd: SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET!

-Trending now on Twitter: "Swirlanaitis", "#SadRumble", and "#WHATATWIST"

-Snips and Snails look at Sunset for confirmation, and in response, Sunset growls at them and points at the ring. Snips and Snails quickly scurry in as Sunset walks around the ring, stalking her opponents, but mostly Cadance. She slowly enters the ring, and kisses HER boyfriend on the lips, before delivering a VISCOUS slap to Cadance. Cadance retaliates by tackling Sunset to the mat and leveling her with punches. Flash puts his arms up in defense as Shining Armor leads him out of the ring-

Shining: Let's just...let them do their thing...

Main Event: Sunset Shimmer, Snips, and Snails vs Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry

-19 minutes later-

1...2...- -Shining Armor breaks up Snails' pin on Flash at the last second. Sunset grabs Shining by his legs, causing him to fall to the mat, and DRAGS him out of the ring. Shining mistakes her for Snips, and is about to hit her, but quickly recoils his fist. This didn't phase Sunset in the LEAST. Sunset leans forward, and plants a LOOOONNGGG kiss on Shining's cheek. The crowd cheers at this.-

Crowd: SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE!

-Shining grabs his cheek, shocked by this, and continues to look into Sunset's eyes, dumbfounded. Sunset continues to look into Shining's eyes with a lustful smirk. In the ring, Flash Sentry sees the whole thing happening, and leans over the rope, screaming-

Flash: HEY! THAT'S MY GIRL, MAN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO- -Flash is caught off guard as Snips suddenly lifts him into the air for a German Suplex. Snails, as Flash is being lifted over Snips' head, leaps off of the top rope, and lands a flying leg-drop on Flash's neck. And thus, the first ever German Suplex/Flying Leg-drop combo was born. Shining continues to be entranced by Sunset as the referee counts.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Sunset bumps Shining's arm as she runs past him. She quickly motions Snips and Snails to follow her, and they do as they roll out of the ring. Snips and Snails jump over the barricade, and so does Sunset, but she stops for a moment to sit on it. She salutes Cadance, who had also saw the scene unfold, but was to shocked to do anything. Sunset puts her other leg over the barricade and runs off with her two lackeys. Cadance takes one betrayed look at Shining, who has a sad yet confused look on his face, and jumps over the barricade in pursuit of Sunset Shimmer. Shining grabs his head with his two hands, and SQUEEZES in frustration. He looks into the ring, and sees Flash Sentry holding his neck and staring at him with the same fury Cadance just had. Shining goes into the ring, and tries to console Flash.-

Shining: I'm sorry, man...I'm sorry. -He helps Flash up- I didn't even know it was coming...it all happened so fa- -Flash dejectedly pushes Shining out of his way. The crowd "OOOHH's" as Flash leaves the ring, and takes the LONG and lonely walk up the ramp. Shining sits down in the ring, sadly watching Flash go.-

*Commercial*

-As we return from commercial, General Manager Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are in the ring. There are two podiums, one on each side of them. Most of the Superstars of Lunacy are lined up across all 4 sides of the ring, minus Sparkler, Twist, Sunset Shimmer, Snips, Snails, and Cadance.-

Luna: As promised last week, to close out the show...the first ever championship DEBATE shall be conducted in this ring. We both know the two combatants representing Lunacy in their main event at proving Grounds know how to debate with their fists...but how will they do in THIS sort of environment? A VERBAL debate?

Swirlanaitis: I'd like to think they will EXCEL, as they've BOTH been doing their fair share of talking over the past few weeks...ironically, in THIS very ring...with each other!

Luna: And THAT is what this debate is going to decide. Who makes the better points. Who will decide that? -Luna gestures around the ring- The many talented men and women of Lunacy...-Turf turns towards the crowd, and points at herself because SHE'S SPECIAL- One of the members of Lunacy's roster that surrounds this ring will raise their hand when they have a question to toss out there for debate. We will only take THREE questions, so make them good.

Swirlanaitis: With the guidelines out of the way...please welcome out first...the REIGNING...DEFENDING...FIRST EVER Eternal Women's Champion in Lunacy HISTORY! -The crowd has already begun cheering- LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLightning Dust!

Welcome to the Danger Zone! -The crowd cheers even louder when Lightning Dust makes her way on the stage, holding up her title with both hands for all to see.-

Crowd: LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST!

-Lightning Dust walks down to ringside, eyeing potential opponents for the future. Scootaloo and Berry Punch move out of her way, and Lightning Dust tries to intimidate Scootaloo by bobbing her neck closer to her face. When Scootaloo doesn't laugh, Lightning Dust cackles and enters the ring. She skips the hand-shakes with the General Manager and the EVP, and walks to her podium. She steps onto the platform connecting the podium, and places her championship on the top of it, making it lean against the microphone.-

Swirlanaitis: And...her opponent this Sunday -the crowd has already begun to boo-...the CHALLENGER! Being joined in this debate...by her little brother Spike...TTTTTTTTTTTTTwilIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHTTTTTTTTT...SPARKLE!

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -The crowd boos even more as Twilight and Spike come through the curtain. Twilight and Spike wave at the fans with huge smiles on their faces, and Twilight gives a nod to Scootaloo. Berry Punch takes her case of beer off of the steel steps so Twilight and Spike can climb them and enter the ring. Lightning Dust rolls her eyes as both Twilight and her brother shake the hands that Lightning Dust WOULDN'T shake. Twilight gets onto her podium, as Spike stands by the bottom of it.-

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Luna: Alright...now that both of the participants for the big title match are in attendance...ladies...do you have any opening statements?

Twilight: I in fact do, Princess Luna. -Turns to face the camera- Good evening to the fans of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. -Crowd boos- My name..is Twilight Sparkle, and I am very humbled to be out here in front of all of you to speak my mind on the topics that the men and women of Lunacy present me with. I am looking forward to representing Lunacy in their main event in 6 days at Proving Grounds, and I am excited to have a honorable and invigorating debate with my opponent for Proving Grounds. -Nods- Thank you.

Crowd: BO-OOORING! BOO-OOORING! BO-OOORING! BO-OOORING!

Lightning Dust: -With her head rested on a hand like in Math class- Okay, so...we've been talking for WEEKS about the SAME DAMN CRAP, so I don't really see the point in having a DEBATE when we've already DEBATED...But I'll humor the entire event and play along. Just don't start complaining if this gets repetitive...

Luna: Thank you, ladies. Now...who would like to ask the first question?

-Scootaloo raises her hand. Luna hands her the mic-

Scootaloo: Heh...I feel like I'm back in Elementary school...okay, I'll keep this very simple. What will you pledge to do as Eternal Women's champion?

Lightning Dust: What the hell is this? POLITICS?! -Clears her throat- "Vote for Lightning Dust on Proposition "HOLY HELL THIS WAS A BAD IDEA"...I never had sexual relations with that moose." -The crowd cheers at Lightning's response-

Luna: Lightning! PLEASE...answer the question.

Lightning: Yeah, yeah, okay...I'LL keep this VEEEEEERRRRRRYYY SIIIMMMPPLLLE. As Eternal Women's Champion, I pledge to be the greatest champion any of you in attendance will ever witness. I will be UNSTOPPABLE, UNBEATABLE, and UNQUENCHABLE in my thirst to be THE BEST.

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: Those are all claims I would EXPECT from someone as ego-maniacal as Lightning Dust...

Lightning: EGO-MANIAC?! Sister, YOU'RE the one out here being all formal and polite. "Ohhhh, my name is Twilight Sparrrrrrrrkle...giggle giggle...cheer me, fans! Cheer me! PLEEEEAASSEEEE CHEEEERRR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It's sad, even for you...you look like an idiot, you SOUND like an idiot, and yet you don't SEE what everyone else is seeing. You just think you're hot shit since you know big words and are an easy candidate to play Hero. Fuck off. Stop rubbing this so-called "intellect" in everyone's face...because honestly, you don't look smart to me...you look like a damn FOOL.

Twilight: -Clears her throat- As I was saying...-Folds her hands on the top of the podium- As Eternal Women's Champion, I promise to build up the credibility that the championship has been so far been CLEARLY lacking-

Lightning: Excuse me? I beat 19 other women on the FIRST night of the company's history to win this title. Get that shit out of here!

Twilight: You won it by cheating, and you haven't won a match SINCE winning the championship. The credibility of the title goes down every time you enter this ring.

Lightning: Whatever...bring up your same old tired and drawn-out points to work with. -Folds her arms and lays her head down-

Twilight: I will also, as champion...take on ALL comers. I WILL NOT use underhanded means to retain my title, or to insult the hard work of the superstar I am facing to get where they are. Everybody will get a fair shot. I will even request that Lightning Dust be given a rematch should I beat her.

Lightning: Well DAAAAAAMMMNNN...-Mock praise- THANK YOU, Twilight! I mean, it's not like that's already a RULE or anything...

Luna: Do you have a rebuttal to Twilight's response, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: I've already mocked everything she's said. I feel content.

Luna: Anything else you'd like to add, Twilight?

Twilight: No thank you, Princess Luna. -Smiles-

Luna: Who would like to ask the next question, in that case?

-Neon Lights raises his hand without any hesitation. He GRABS the mic out of Luna's grasp.-

Lightning: Who the hell is this guy? Why is he asking ME a question!

Twilight: That is Neon Lights. Shame you don't know your fellow superstars...

Lightning: Oh well EXCUSE me for not being "Ms. Popular"...-to Neon Lights- Well? You got stage fright or something? SPIT IT OUT!

Neon: -Nearly drops the mic. Lightning Dust snickers at the clumsy display- Yo, so check it out, babes...

Lightning: What you got for me, STUD?

Neon: Heh...anything you want, baby.

Lightning: Aye! How about we keep this a PG debate there, bro?

Neon: I got ya. -Winks- Hey so...there are TWO divisions here in the EWF. The women's, and the male's. And we both have a title that we ALL want to get our hands on...so...this is more of an OPINIONATED question. Which championship do you think is more important? The Eternal for the WOMEN, or the Carnage for the MEN?

Lightning: Well, obviously the title that I'M wearing.

Twilight: That is BEYOND narcissistic.

Lightning: I wasn't DONE yet. Don't get your training bra in a knot...-more crowd cheers- I'm defending the title at Proving Grounds in the MAIN EVENT. Rumble vs Overdrive? They're not going to be the MAIN EVENT, as MUCH as they might WANT to be. Everybody is buying a ticket, or watching Proving Grounds at home to see ME...defend MY title...

Twilight: That's debatable.

Lightning: Yeah? That's why this is a DEBATE, genius. As much as I don't like Twilight, I've got to give her credit...she's done a BANG-UP job getting everybody to hate her SO MUCH...that they'll watch this pay per view just to see me kick her ASS. The Eternal Women's Championship is the biggest prize in the EWF...no matter WHO holds it, it still is. But with ME carrying it around everywhere I go? -Chuckles- It's got a LOT more value to it...

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: I believe that both of the main titles on Lunacy are one in the same. Yes, Rumble vs Overdrive isn't going to be the Main Event, but it IS a main event worthy match, and who is to say a match to decide the Champion of Carnage won't be a Pay Per View main event in the near future?

Lightning: With YOU as the champion? Probably. With ME as the champion? Fat chance.

Twilight:...Both divisions, the male AND female, have a POPULOUS amount of talent that make up each division. If we are speaking from a more technical point of view...

Lightning: Oh god...

Twilight: The match between Overdrive and Rumble...actually means MORE. It will involve the crowning of the FIRST ever Champion of Carnage. A legend will be born, which would be the championship itself. But ANOTHER legend, either Rumble or Overdrive, could be born HIMSELF.

Lightning: Nuh uh. No way! There is NO WAY a match not involving me will EVER get top billing. Even if I'm NOT the champion...I should STILL be the main event!

Twilight: Rumble and Overdrive are both AMAZING competitors...and I wish them both good luck in their match.

-Overdrive gives Twilight a thumbs-up, as Rumble has had his back leaning against the apron this entire segment. He is not there mentally, as he mourns the loss of his cell phone-

Luna: Anything else to say, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: -Groans- No...let's just get this over with.

Luna: Twilight?

Twilight: No, ma'am.

Luna: It all comes down to this, then...one FINAL question. Who would like to ask it? -Nobody raises their hand-

Siwlranaitis: I have a question to ask...

Lightning: I have a question for YOU...where'd you get your pants? They look pretty snazzy...

Swirlanaitis: Thanks! Uh...Old Navy. My question for you two...is a DOOZY...what do you think...TRUTHFULLY...of your opponent? -Lightning Dust and Twilight look at each other. All bets are now off.-

Twilight: I believe Lightning Dust is a thief, that is MUCH too full-of-herself for her own good. She puts herself on SUCH a high pedestal, that it will be DISASTROUS for her when she is eventually knocked off of it. I do not feel she is WORTHY of being the FIRST Eternal Women's Champion, and that she has STAINED the record book with her less-than-admirable reign as champion. She has robbed OTHER hard workers...like Scootaloo, the chance to be where she is. And for THAT...I will be absolutely EUPHORIC to take that title away from her, and give the REAL workhorses the chance to live their moment.

-Lightning Dust out of nowhere JUMPS off of her podium, and pushes it to the mat-

Lightning: Another STUPID question! Why the hell does this segment even EXIST? There was NO REASON for it! Everybody already KNOWS what we were going to say! Everyone already KNOWS that I think Twilight is a delusional, half-witted, not-as-smart-as-she-thinks-she-is, fake-ass, bogus, artificial PHONY. But LIKE I SAID...THEY already KNEW that! You know what I think? I think that at Proving Grounds, all this mindless talk is going to stop, and we're going to see who can talk with their FISTS! I think-no, no! I KNOW, that I'm going to walk into Proving Grounds, KICK Twilight Sparkle's ASS, and walk out with MY TITLE! I KNOW it doesn't MATTER HOW many matches you LOSE, as long as you win the BIG one; the one that COUNTS! And the BIG match...the one that COUNTS? Is THIS SUNDAY! SIX DAYS! I KNOW I don't give a damn what any of these talent-less hacks -spins around the ring- CARE about ME! I KNOW I'm the only one whose opinion MATTERS! I KNOW that after I'm done with Sparkle, one of THESE assholes is going to face me next! And one by one by one by one by ONE! THEY'LL ALL SUFFER THE SAME FATE...being DOMINATED...by the BEST superstar in this COMPANY! I KNOW that NONE of them can hold a CANDLE to me! In the RING, on the MIC, in the GYM-I'VE WORKED HARDER! THAN ANYBODY! FOR! THIS! SPOT! MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE HAD TO TAKE A BACK-SEAT TO EVERYBODY! AND NOW I'M FINALLY IN THE LIME-LIGHT! I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOMEBODY TAKE THIS ALL AWAY FROM ME! I'VE BARELY GOTTEN A CHANCE TO LET THIS SINK IN! You can't BEAT...A DESPERATE WOMAN, TWILIGHT! AND I'M DESPERATE! I'LL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO TEAR YOU DOWN! I WILL CHEAT! AND IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU WOULD, TOO! You may be BOOK-SMART...but I'm RING-SMART! I know what it will take to keep this title! And if I have to pull it out...I WILL! IF YOU'RE NOT READY FOR IT...THAN IT SUCKS TO BE YOU! EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE HAS LED UP TO THIS SUNDAY, AND I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...-

-On the other side of the ring, Rumble has just shoved Overdrive shoulder-first into the steel post, in revenge for his recent actions. All the other male superstars try to restrain him, but Horsepower comes over and shoves them all to the ground. Horsepower roars, but he is caught off guard as Overdrive SPEARS him through the barricade, and into the timekeeper's area. By now, Twilight and Lightning Dust have stopped talking, and are watching the action unfold. On the OTHER side, Scootaloo jumps onto the steel steps from the other side, and takes out Silver Spoon with a Tornado DDT. The crowd is now going wild. Berry Punch knocks Turf into the barricade with a barrage of fierce uppercuts, and then stomps a dirt-hole on her while she's still down by the barricade. Flitter is using Gizmo for a shield to protect herself from Midnight Strike, but Cloudchaser knocks Midnight down from behind. Flitter pushes Gizmo away, and stomps down on Midnight with Cloudchaser. Flash Sentry and Shining Armor are having a heated argument, which turns into a shoving match, and soon, into an all-out brawl. Shining tackles Flash to the ground, and they are soon jocking for position. Fancy Pants and Gustave are standing there, laughing at the commoners fight, when all of a sudden, Happy Trails and Braeburn LAUNCH themselves over the barricade and onto their opponents. Fleur De Lis looks on in fear as Braeburn and Happy pull out two steel chairs from under the ring, and use them to deliver a Con-Chair-To to both members of EGO.-

-In the ring, Twilight is cold-clocked from behind with the Eternal Women's title by Lightning Dust, who took the opportunity to knock her opponent out as she was watching the chaos ensue. Lightning quickly exits the ring, and runs all the way up onto the stage. The show ends with nearly the entire Lunacy roster brawling, and Lightning Dust holding her title up and gazing up at it as Swirlanaitis, Luna, and Spike check on Twilight Sparkle.-

*End Show*

Quick Results: Turf defeated Scootaloo (Pinfall)
Dance Fever defeated Rumble (Interference from Overdrive)
Sparkler defeated Twist (NUDITY) (But lost in the end due to RAPE)
Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser defeated Gizmo (Pinfall)
Rarity vs Colgate ended in a Draw
Snips, Snails, and Sunset Shimmer defeated Flash Sentry, Shining Armor, and Cadance

Matches for Proving Grounds:
Eternal Women's World Championship: Twilight Sparkle vs Lightning Dust (C)
Champion of Carnage: Overdrive vs Rumble
Crater Chick Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance
Chick Combo Championship: Berry Punch & Scootaloo vs Silver Spoon & Turf
Combo of Carnage Championship: Gustave Le Grand & Fancy Pants vs Happy Trails & Braeburn (Inter-Promotional)
Intergender Match: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Hugh Jelly, Clip Clop, and Midnight Strike
Snips & Snails vs Flash Sentry & Shining Armor