The beautiful people...OOOOOOOHHHH...

-The pyro of Lunacy combusts inside the Asylum as all of the "Lunatics" that accompany the Asylum go nuts since they're in an asylum oh god you get it-

Garble: Another week, another pointless show...

Ahuizotl: Hey now...with each show, I gain more and more of a following with the "Daring Do Haters of Equestria" tumblr. Their tagline is: "Lara Croft may be a dumb Brit, but she still has a better ass"...

Garble: I am under the impression that I must disagree but alright. All I know is that you think Daring Do's ass would be a LOT better with some oil, right?

Ahuizotl: You are HARASSING me! Isn't there some kind of RULE against this?

Garble: Not until you kill yourself, there isn't...

Ahuizotl: -Pulls out a revolver, sending a sideways glare Garble's way-

Garble: You don't have the GUTS...-camera zooms in on Garble's serious eyes. Black bars crop everything but them out of focus.-

-Ahuizotl sweats. Ultimately, his shaking hands drops the gun on the table.-

Ahuizotl: Your...you're RIGHT...-hangs his head and sighs. Chants of "WE WANT DARING" with the elementary fives claps after each series of chants begin. Ahuizotl's eyes bulge.- GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHH! -Lunges for the gun, but is stopped by a man wearing a blue mask that covers up only his eyes, a yellow leotard, and a navy blue cape that waves in the wind swaying down on a grappling hook and grabbing the gun before Ahuizotl can get to it.-

?: St-AND BACK! There's a Flash Flood comin' though...-he announces as he flies away into the night-

-Ahuizotl and Garble sit there, voiceless. The crowd also is silent. The only noise that can be heard is the every second blinking of everyone in attendance.-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -The crowd then comes to life with mostly boos, but just about every kid can be heard cheering-

Ahuizotl: And what a reaction...to THIS woman, the number 1 contender to the Women's Eternal World Championship at Proving Grounds!

Garble: And she's with that little BASTARD Spike! Like Lightning Dust said on Backstage Fallout, which went up on the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's YouTube channel last week-

Ahuizotl: Self plug.

Garble: It's in my contract. Lightning Dust said that for Twilight to gain the right to face her for her championship, she had to take that same chance away from the young lady she had praised SO MUCH earlier in the night, Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: So...what are you saying?

Garble: Twilight's a false hero and everything she said last week was contradicted by her actions to close out the show.

Ahuizotl: My, my...such worldly claims. Can't you just be happy for Twilight? Scootaloo was taken out, and so, she took an advantage.

Garble: Even though she had previously SHUNNED Lightning Dust for taking an advantage?

Ahuizotl: I'm not saying you don't make good points...I'm just saying that, at the end of the day it DOESN'T MATTER. We're going to be given a CLASSIC bout at Proving Grounds! I feel that there is NO NEED to debate who is right and who is wrong.

Announcer: Please welcome...Twilight Sparkle, and Spike! -The crowd boos even more, as Twilight continues to high five the children of the audience. She gets in the ring and is soon given a microphone by Spike-

Twilight: Hello everyone, and welcome to Monday Night Lunacy! -More boos, followed by "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants- Last week...was not just a win for me..but it was a win, for -she begins pointing at everything direction of the crowd- each. And every. One. Of YOU. -Boos- In two weeks time at Proving Grounds, I will combat the nefarious and treacherous acts of one Lightning Dust...-more cheers and "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants from the crowd- She has proven since the inaugural episode of Lunacy that she is NOT the perfect, or even the TEMPLATE of a DECENT representative of the women's division as its champion. -Boos- She has feigned ignorance, and looks to corrupt the mind of every fan of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. Those are not attributes that YOU people deserve in YOUR champion...Lightning Dust is NOT someone that should be fighting for YOU. -More boos- When I become the Eternal Women's World Champion, I will do the RIGHT thing, and I will do it for all of YOU! -You know how this works. Boos.- I can only hope I will be able to restore all of the title's credibility before it even had a chance to-

And now...it's all over now.... -Massive amount of cheers-

Garble: And here comes Sunset Shimmer, thank God, to shut Twilight Sapple UP.

-Sunset Shimmer already has a mic as she walks down the ramp-

Sunset: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight...you haven't changed one bit, have you? You've crafted this perfect little fantasy world up, where everybody but YOU is WRONG, and quite frankly, it's getting a bit tiresome. -She stops by the ring apron- Very soon now, these people are going to stop listening to your petty little complaints, and demand some damn ACTION from you! -Crowd cheers-

Twilight: You sure haven't changed either, Sunset...you're still the same manipulative and malevolent WENCH you've always been. Going after my brother, systematically attacking his girlfriend both eternally AND internally? You're even worse than LIGHTNING DUST. She just cheats, while you, on the other hand, only strive to tear relationships apart for your own entertainment.

-Sunset gets on the apron-

Sunset: Oh, YES...I'm just such a MONSTER, aren't I, Twilight? Because everything YOU say HAS to be the gospel truth. You made such a great effort to paint Dusty onto such a PAINSTAKINGLY wrathful piece, while giving young Scootaloo an entire WING of charming excellence. You soon get bored of your construction, and decide to tear it down.

Twilight: Your cryptic words are not appreciated. What are you getting at?

Sunset: -Smirks- You spent all this time praising Scootaloo, but in the main event...you STOLE her golden opportunity right out from under her.

Twilight: She was injured!

Sunset: She could've gotten up. Do you not believe in whom you praise? Face it, Twilight, your ego wouldn't ALLOW you to let someone else have a chance. You stole my chance to be princess of Equestria, and you stole Scootaloo's chance to fight for the title! She would've lost, but she's sure shown she deserves a chance to shine more than YOU. I think you've had QUITE enough time to "shine."

Twilight: You dug your own hole under Princess Celestia's eye. Don't blame that on ME. Secondly, if I didn't BELIEVE in Scootaloo, I wouldn't have given her my seal of approval. She took me to my LIMIT in that battle royal. She may have BEATEN me, but, of course, we'll never know that, thanks to Lightning Dust.

Sunset: -Scoffs- You keep making it sound like Lightning Dust was in the wrong for WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP. You're delusional, Sparkle, and once again, your fantasy world is blocking the reality that's all around you. I think it's time I BEAT some reality into you, because you TRULY do need it...

-Twilight prepares herself, but she is caught off guard by Lightning Dust jumping over the barricade from behind her, storming the ring, and knocking her to the mat with a clothesline. She immediately goes on the attack, as Sunset gets in the ring. The crowd cheers in response.-

Ahuizotl: All this trash talking from Sunset Shimmer, and now the champion is proving everything Twilight has said RIGHT!

Garble: HOW IS THAT? If anything, it's proven LIGHTNING DUST right. Twilight just doesn't GET the mechanics of professional wrestling! You've got to have eyes IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!

Ahuizotl: That is the most low-ball thing I've ever heard! Twilight Sparkle should not have to worry about being BLINDSIDED by a foe when she's having a confrontation with ANOTHER foe!

Garble: You and Twilight share a common interest, then...neither of you GET wrestling.

-Sunset goes to get her some of Twilight, but Spike jumps onto her back, and wraps his arms around Sunset's throat. Lightning takes a break from pummeling Twilight to literally THROW Spike off of Sunset. When Spike gets back up, he is superkicked in the face by Lightning Dust. The crowd "OOH's" and cheers in response.-

Garble: AHAHAHA! Did you HEAR that?!

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE I heard that DESPICABLE act! It must've bounced off the walls of this arena!

Garble: Spike doesn't just get wrestling...Spike doesn't get LIFE. If you want to put your hands on a woman, don't be surprised when a woman puts her hands on YOU.

-Sunset and Lightning return to Twilight, stalking her in the corner and finally hitting her with foot-chokes slaps to the face. All of a sudden, Cadance comes barreling down into the ring. The fans boo.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the cavalry, in the form of Cadance!

-Sunset goes after Cadance with a clothesline, but Cadance ducks and continues running towards Lightning. Lightning vaults Cadance over the ring post when she reaches her, but Cadance hangs onto to the rope. She grabs Lightning by the head, and drives her neck into the rope. By now, Twilight has recovered, and hits Lightning with the Spell Check. Lightning rolls out of the ring, as Sunset recuperates after colliding with the turnbuckle, she runs at Twilight. Twilight leaps over Sunset, and Cadance trips the ropes to send Sunset tumbling down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: How's THAT for delusional?

Garble: Cadance is a disillusioned mess, too. She's going to regret putting her hands on the champion!

So together we are lost on the moon... -The crowd cheers, as Sunset and Lightning regroup by the ramp.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the general manager, Princess Luna!

Garble: Looking as LOVELY, as always...hey, did you notice that she ALWAYS seems to come out at the start of the show?

Ahuizotl: -Nods- That's correct. You'd figure that'd make this the most CHAOTIC part of the show, but Lunacy gets even more chaotic the longer it's on!

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: -Raises her patented hand- In due-time, everyone...-she suddenly gives a stern look towards the ring- The bickering continues between your four it seems. That is fine. After all, it makes for GREAT television! Sunset Shimmer and Cadance, I will start with you. Over the past two weeks, you two have put each other through feats of hell I never thought ANYBODY on this roster would be willing to put themselves through, just to get an edge of sorts. You've put each other through announce tables, supply tables, smashed each other's heads into crates. It's been a very heated rivalry, and I do not know when it will end. However, I do know when THIS chapter will climax...at Proving Grounds. We need to crown a few more champions, and one of those...is the Crater Chick Champion. You two will face off in a one on one match. Whoever wins, will have the honor of being the first ever Crater Chick Champion. Adding gold to this rivalry may be hazardous to BOTH of your health...but you hopefully know what you're getting yourselves into. Twilight, Lightning Dust, you've both given your sides of the story, but next week, we are going to decide what the SUPERSTARS think. Live, here on Lunacy, you two are going to take part in the first ever championship DEBATE. -Lightning Dust looks confused, Twilight looks ecstatic- More will be explained later. As for all four of you...you can't seem to keep your hands off of each other, and not just the pair of those in a rivalry. So, in our main event, tonight...it will be the team of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance...taking on the duo of Sunset Shimmer, and the Eternal Women's World Champion...Lightning Dust! -Crowd cheers- We thank you for your time...-Luna leaves the stage-

Garble: Once again, Princess Luna makes a HANDFUL of GREAT decisions!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance at Proving Grounds, what is sure to be a HEATED championship debate next week, and our main event for tonight, is a tag team match featuring participants in the two hottest rivalries on Lunacy? Can you say "EXPLOSIVE"?

Garble: You just did. Why should I?

Ahuizotl: Just cut to commercial...

-Twilight hugs Spike in the ring, as Sunset and Lightning Dust mock the gesture on the outside. Cadance makes a constipated face.-

*Commercial*

-We cut to Squilliam's Serene, the fanciest bar in Canterlot. Standing outside of it, are Happy Trails and Braeburn, whom will be played by Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants respectively. They're both wearing blue overalls. Fancy is wearing Braeburn's brown ten-gallon hat, while Gustave is wearing a straw-hat, with Happy's blue bandanna tied around his neck, and a piece of straw in his mouth to top it all of.-

Braeburn: Well gee, cousin Happeh...this sure does look like a swankeh ol' place, dudn't it?

Happy Trails: Ah'll say, cousin Braeburn! Ah sure do have a hankerin' for some MOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Braeburn: -Frowns- N' what if these Canterlot folk don't make it like we all do on the farm?

Happy: Well ah'll be a monkey's uncle, cuz...y'all know yah should NEVER look a gift horse in the mouth. Ah bet under all dem fanceh suits and expensivemamive LAAAAAAAAAAAAMBORGHHHHHHHIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIS-that these uppity folk start wailin' Tim McGraw songs and ripping off dem clothes to reveal a tattoo of a JOOOOOOHHHHHHNNNNNN DEERE TRRRRRRAACCCCTOOOOOORRRRRR.

Braeburn: -Raises an eyebrow- And wha' in TAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRNAAAAAAATTTTTTION does that have ta do with dem havin' MOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE 'r not?

Happy: ...-Blinks- Ah dunno, cuz. Dem governmament's pay for me ta be alive and such! Ah never woulda passed KIN-DE-GAR-TEN 'tweren't for me havin' sex with Mrs. Lassypassy...who was mah mom...

Braeburn: N' mah dad's wife...

Happy: -Long, drawn-out sigh- ...Yyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ah sure do love FUCKIN' FAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIILLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Braeburn: Ah reckon y'all be spittin' truth like a King Cobra spittin' venom at onne'a dem Viet Kong bastards...that also fucked mah mom.

Happy: N' mah dad's wife...

Braeburn: ...But YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-sir! No truer words have ever been spokenenened. Ain't nuddin' like a good ol' dickin' from yur kin...AIN'T DAT RIGHT, APPLEJACK?

-Fleur De Lis, wearing Applejack's stetson, and blue overalls with a checkered button-up underneath comes into view-

Applejack: YEEEEEE-HAW! Who wanted a dickin'?

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK! Cousin Applejack...-"Oh, you!" face-...y'all don't have a DIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKK.

Applejack: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK-man's voice- Ah MIIIIIGGHHHHTTTTTT...

Happy: ...Ah don't doubt it! -All three HYUK-

Braeburn: Ah think y'all have ALREADEH been in the moon-shine, cousin Applejack...-grabs her by the overalls- AM AH GON' HAVE TA GET BIG MACINTOSH TO BEAT THE LILY-LOVIN' SHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT OUTTA YOU? -Stink-eye-

Applejack: -Meek voice- Nuh uh, cuz...ah dun pay mah taxes...

Braeburn: !-lets go, and pats Applejack on the head- Ah know y'all do, cuz! -Licks her face-

Happy: HYUK, HYUK-AH DON'T -derp face-

Braeburn: Well yur a fuckin' idjit 'COURSE y'all don't! -All three HYUK again-

Happy: IT DUN BE TRUUUUUUUUEEE!

Braeburn: -Puts his arms around his family- Well, y'all...ah reckon it's time ta trade peacocks with the High Cotton...-Braeburn leads him and his family to the Bar's door. He opens the door, letting Happy in, but punches Applejack in the face, and drags her inside, closing the door

-The same DJ table from last week rises up, along with the same intro-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman, you all know me! I'm the hottest record spinner since Mr. Electric HIMSELF! DEEEEEEEEJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY..ZEEEEEEMMMAAAAA...IIIIOOOON! But tonight, I'm takin' a break from the scratcha-lastic lifestyle...and I'm steppin' foot...into that SQUARED...CIIIRRRCCCCCLLLLEEEE! And now, let me proudly present to YOU...my tag team partner...-the beat drops- one of the factoring reasons why the divorce rate in Equestria rises more and more every day...NEEEEEOOOOOONNNNNN...LIIIGGGGHHHTS!

-Neon and Zema brofist. Zema sets off the basketball buzzer, and he jumps over the mixing table. He and Neon dive into the ring, fistpumping.

Ahuizotl: These guys are EXTREMELY antagonizing...

Garble: You just have NO CLUE on how to be HIP. -Jumps onto the table, and fistpumps with the DJ'ing duo.- OHOHOH!

Ahuizotl: I don't know how to be HIP, but I do find you trying yourself to be HUMERUS.

Garble: -Sits back down- Oh you're a horrible person...

Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show.... -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: And THEIR OPPONENT...at a combined weight of 421 POOOOUUNNDSSS-representing THE ODDITIES...the team of CLIP CLOP, and "THE PROFESSSOORRRR"...BILL...NEEEEEEIIGGGGH!

Ahuizotl: Now THESE guys are a FUN group. Boisterous, lovable-

Garble: Disgraceful?

Ahuizotl: That's how I would describe YOU.

Garble: -Smirks- Thanks for the compliment. Midnight Strike's an interesting case, though, and we now know WHY she hangs out with these freaks.

Ahuizotl: Her interview on Backstage Fallout was VERY interesting, and it's great to see that unknown side of her. She says the male members of the Oddities CAN wrestle, and I'm looking forward to seeing if Midnight is correct.

Garble: Well, she knows them better than anybody. I guess we'll find out.

Match 1: Clip Clop & Bill Neigh vs Zema Ion & Neon Lights

-Clip Clop and Bill Neigh are having a ball in the ring. When the bell rings, though, they stare a HOLE through their opponents.-

Ahuizotl: And the dancing has ceased...

Garble: All of a sudden...the Oddities faces do NOT look pleasant...

-Neon is surprised by this, but not intimidated. He runs at Clip Clop, but gets taken down to the mat with a headbutt to the gut. The crowd cheers-

Garble: YE-OUCH! He just RAMMED his own head into the abdomen of Neon Lights!

Ahuizotl: Neon may want to tag out...and SOON.

-8 minutes later-

-DJ Zema Ion jumps off the top rope for a double axe handle, but he gets caught in mid-air by Clip Clop. Clip Clop rears back, and then TOSSES Zema into the air with a T-Bone suplex-

Garble: It's only a matter of time before the tag team debut of the Oddities ends in SUCCESSION.

-Out of nowhere, Cloudchaser jumps onto the apron, and vies for Clip Clop's attention-

Ahuizotl: Where in the HELL did SHE come from?

Garble: Anywhere she wants...-begins to drool-...however, I don't know WHY she's out here...

-The referee goes over to admonish Cloudchaser and get her away from the ring. Cloudchaser puts one of her legs on the middle rope, and pulls her skirt up a bit. Intrigued, the referee remembers why Equestria is the greatest place in the world. Clip Clop, in addition, is pulled out of the ring by Horsepower, and rammed into the barricade with an exuberant amount of force. Bill Neigh takes him out with a dropkick to the floor below, but he is soon stunned by a lowblow from Flitter.-

Ahuizotl: CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS MATCH HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED?! I'M LEGITIMATELY CURIOUS.

Garble: I'm just wondering where Rumble is...

-With all the strength she can muster, Flitter manages to pick up the 280 pound clown and roll him back into the ring. Meanwhile, Midnight Strike has gotten this match back on track by grabbing Cloudchaser's skirt and flinging her off of the apron, causing her to hit the back of her head on the announce table cover.-

Garble: Oh no! I hope she's okay!

Ahuizotl: Seems like she doesn't UNDERSTAND wrestling, I'd say...don't be in places you SHOULDN'T be. Sound familiar?

Garble: Nope. Not one bit.

-As Bill Neigh continues to hold his nether region on the ground, Midnight begins to chase Flitter. Midnight runs into the waiting arms of Horsepower. Horsepower chucks Midnight into the barricade, as the crowd boos immensely.-

Ahuizotl: OH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! WHY?!

Garble: Okay, THAT's not fucking cool...

Ahuizotl: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T! WHAT MAKES THIS PLAUSIBLE TO ANYTHING?!

-The other members of the Oddities, Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly chase Cloudchaser and Flitter away and then beat down Horsepower on the other side of the ring. He can't take on both of them.-

Garble: Good! Kick his ass!

-Meanwhile, in the ring, Neon Lights Oklahoma Rolls Clip Clop, and grabs a handful of his colorful singlet.-

Ahuizotl: No! NOT THIS WAY!

1...2...3! -The crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: WHY?! WHY?! I REPEAT TO THE GODS ABOVE...WHY?!

Garble: I don't understand what this has to do with Rumble's match with Overdrive at Proving Ground...

Announcer: -Solemnly- Here are your winners...DJ Zema Ion...and Neon Lights... -Neon and Zema quickly run to the back to avoid the force of an irate stable-

-Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly help up Bill Neigh, and all three go over to check on Midnight. Clip Clop soon realizes what happened, and he goes outside to tear apart the ring-side set. Steel steps are thrown, the announce table is chucked into the ring, and the hammer is even ripped off of the ring-bell prop.-

Ahuizotl: What does Rumble have against The Oddities?! WHO COULD HATE THE ODDITIES?! THIS WAS THEIR DEBUT MATCH! THEY WERE GOING TO WIN, AND THOSE SHE-DEVILS AND HORSEPOWER SCREWED THEM!

Garble: I agree with you ALL the way...if anything, Midnight should NOT have been put into the cross-fire of it...what if this isn't Rumble's doing, though?

Ahuizotl: I don't see how it COULDN'T be! He obviously thinks he RUNS this entire show! Well SCREW that sawed-off little PRICK!

Garble: In any event, I meant what I said earlier tonight...when you put your hands on a woman, you'd BETTER be ready to have all the hands around you put on YOURSELF...whether Rumble put Horsepower and the Roses up to this or not, doesn't matter...they all better WATCH their back...

-The crowd chants "ODD-I-TIES" as Hugh Jelly carries his girlfriend to the back, all of the other Oddities, especially Clip Clop, pissed off as they are not far behind.-

*Back at Squilliam's Serene...*

Braeburn: What in TARRRNAATTTIIIOOONNN do y'all mean ya don't have any-

Happy: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE?

Braeburn: HEG-xactly!

Squilliam: I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen, but we don't exactly cater to the -snickers-...COMMON FOLK around here! -Squilliam does his signature "HEH A-HEH" laugh as all the other penny-pushers laugh with him-

Random snob: I say...

Random snob #2: Good show! -He golf claps at the Cricket match on the big-screen TV above him-

Braeburn: -Grabs Squilliam's robe- Lookie 'ere mister...ah dun need ta make mah cousin Applejack drunk-as-HAAAAAYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEEEEE so ah's can FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK her!

Squilliam: May I direct you to Florida? Not only is gay marriage legal there, but so is same-family marriage-

-Braeburn hoists Squilliam onto the bar-counter, and runs him down the entirety of it, causing bottles of numerous fancy liquors to strike his body and crack-

Braeburn: -Gets right in his face- Ah didn't wanna murry mah cousin...
Happy: HE JUST WANTED TA HAVE SEX WIT'ER YA HEAR?! -Smashes a bottle of Dom. Romane Conti over his head-

Braeburn: -Pats Happy on the shoulder- Y'all made this octopus as useless as tits on a bull...

Happy: HYUK, HYUK THANKS, COOOOOUUUUSSSSSIIIIINNNNNNN!

Braeburn: -Begins to drag the still unconscious Applejack by her ponytail- COOOOOMMEEEEON APPLEJACK YOU DUMB BIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH! -They all three leave the club-

Squilliam: -Groggy, if not disoriented- Aaaaappleloosa is the fanciest town in Equestria, and it does not suck eggs...-passes out from excessive blood loss-

Random snob: I say!

Random snob #2: Good show...-golf claps-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from LOOONEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing 138 POOOUUNDSSS...accompanied by LYYYRAAA...BOOOONNN BOOOOONNNN!

Garble: -Speaking gravely- Well, here comes Bon Bon...she's known for making some of the tastiest candy in Lonevyille, and-hey...you alright, 'Zotl?

Ahuizotl: -Looking down at the desk- Just trying to keep my composure...

Garble: -Frowns- I know you're pissed, man...I am too. But we HAVE to do our jobs. Can you tell us about Lyra?

Ahuizotl: -Perks up, but only slightly- Fine. Well, Lyra is...excitable, I guess you could say. She has a strange obsession with...corgis.

Garble: -Snorts- The dog?

Ahuizotl: That's what she told me. She sometimes wishes she could BE a corgi.

Garble: There sure are some strange characters on Lunacy...and, what is the relationship between Bon Bon and Lyra? Lyra seemed pretty protective of her in that battle royal.

Ahuizotl: Well, they're an item. Together.

Garble: OOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh...nice!

Ahuizotl: Contain yourself.

Garble: Lesbians are the greatest gift this Earth was ever given, was all I was going to say. As long as they're happy.

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no li-IES... -SUCH BOO. MUCH HATE-

Announcer: NOPE. -Jumps over the barricade to go and take a bathroom break-

Ahuizotl: If only WE could take a bathroom break...

Garble: Who's to say we CAN'T? -Jumps over the barricade-

Ahuizotl: Where are you going? -Looks to see Twist twerking over to his position- MOMMY 'ZOTL HELP ME-EEEEEEEE! -Runs TOWARDS the barricade, crashing through it. Doesn't stop-

-Lyra puts on gloves and a gas-mask and throws the still-dancing Twist into the ring before she starts doing the Seductive-Macarena on the announce table-

The commentary for this match will be provided by-Oh fuck all of our sponsors left NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Match 2: Bon Bon vs Twist

-Twist tries a different technique she hasn't done yet...try to entrance her opponent by grinding her hips up on them. Unfortunately, right when Twist is about to start, she notices that Bon Bon isn't wearing a gas-mask or gloves, but a full-blown contamination-suit.

Twist: Oh...THUCK. -Even so, Twist's body WILL NOT let her walk away. Something inside her body caresses her, takes her out to dinner, and whispers when they're in the bed "Dance Twist...you only know one move, and suck at it, but DANCE you Swedish Whore!" So yeah Twist back-pedals up against Bon Bon, and is immediately grabbed and hit with her finisher, The Candy Wrapper!-

1...2...3! -The crowd couldn't cheer enough, as coincidentally enough, Ahuizotl, Garble, and the Announcer are back right as the bell rings.-

Announcer: Here is YOUR WINNER...BOOOOON BOOOOOOON!

Garble: -Putting his headset back on- Ahhh...what'd I miss?

Ahuizotl: How should I know? I was in there with you!

Garble: Oh yeah...hey, just like your eyes, your balls are pretty close together. Makes you look pretty small.

Ahuizotl: That's not what your mother said...

Garble: WHOA EASY THERE LET'S GROW UP A LITTLE BIT HUH?

-Lyra happily jumps in the ring as Bon Bon takes off her suit. Lyra grabs Bon Bon, dips her, and plays some Japanese tongue-croquette with her. Some men in the crowd wolf-whistle while all the rest cheer.-

Ahuizotl: -Wide eyes- I'm not small anymore...

Garble: For the first time ever...Twist's theme fits.

-konyy2k has the "Forever Alone" face on in the crowd, as he chants "WE WANT DARING" sadly. He soon begins to sob as he realizes he's a virgin who will never know a woman's touch.-

-A promo begins, showing Overdrive in an abandoned Ford chop-shop in Detroit-

This is where they made me...made me for battle...

Cars were their specialty...and I was their prototype...

Turns out I was the only one they ever made.

-The promo shows Overdrive quickly sprinting up a flight of stairs, as well as jumping rope in a hall-way. It's all being shot in grayscale vision.-

So I couldn't afford to disappoint...

Or else they'd shut me down.

And I'd never get to realize my FULL potential...

Then, the economy went to HELL...

The shop closed down. Thousands of jobs were lost...

I was forgotten...left to fight my own battles...

Left to prove I wasn't just some useless hunk of metal...

-A robotic voice speaks: INITIATING...BEAST MODE.-

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

-The promo moves to show us Overdrive training hard. He terrorizes a sack of flour, he runs along the railroad tracks with an anchor over his shoulder, and he climbs a rope that begins deep underwater with cinder blocks tied to his feet.-

I wasn't created for any specific purpose...

I have no special powers...

But now I've found my purpose...

To use my heart, determination, and training to make it in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

I've found my powers...

I've found...my home.

-The promo climaxes with Overdrive walking through the factory. The power is still working.-

My name...is Overdrive...and I'm tired of collecting rust.

-The robotic voice speaks again: TURNING OFF CONNECTION TO POWER...-

-One by one, each light goes out until it is pitch dark in the factory. The clanking of Overdrive's metallic boots cease as he stops walking. He takes a glance behind, and his red eye from the metallic side of his helmet glows.-

-One last time, the robotic voice speaks: ENGAGING...DOMINANCE. On the screen, the caption "Overdrive. In Action. Next" appears in Crimson Red form.-

*Commercial*

-As we return, Featherweight is already in the ring, pacing in place. He faces the crowd behind him, and throws his arms up in the air, getting a decent reaction.-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on Monday Night Lunacy, and are getting set for a match featuring the man who will face Rumble at Proving Grounds...Overdrive.

Garble: And I do NOT feel happy for that scrawny young kid in the ring...

All my life I've been searching for something.... -There are some noticeable cheers, but mostly boos from the audience-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd, his opponent! From The Steel Ciiittttyy...weighing 253 POOOOUUUNNDSSS...OVVVVVVEERRRDRRRIIVVVVVEEEEEE!

Garble: This man is a MACHINE. LITERALLY. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with him two weeks ago when he essentially DOMINATED Horsepower.

Ahuizotl: You and me both. The man has ALL the tools to be the Champion of Carnage. I can't see how Rumble is going to beat him for that title, honestly.

Garble: It'll be an up-hill battle, but I still believe in Rumble!

Match 3: Overdrive vs Featherweight

Garble: This is basically a tune-up match for Overdrive, but for his opponent, Featherweight, it could mean SO much more...

Ahuizotl: Correct. Featherweight wants to succeed in this business, too, just like everybody else. He doesn't have a contract yet, though. A win over a number 1 contender like Overdrive could not only get him that contract, but also put him at the top of the leaderboard to challenge whoever becomes champion at Proving Grounds.

Garble: If you people think 192 pounds of Rumble is SMALL, then what about 146 pounds of FEATHERWEIGHT?

Ahuizotl: Well, why do you think his name is FEATHERWEIGHT? At least he weighs more than any of the women on our roster.

-Overdrive extends his hand, but is met with a slap to the face by Featherweight. Most of the crowd may not like Overdrive, but they KNOW how shitty of an idea that was.-

Garble: What in the world is this kid doing...?

Ahuizotl: He must be too much of a wuss to commit suicide.

Garble: Well, Overdrive better not be charged with killing this kid here tonight. The kid was asking for it!

-Featherweight jumps into the air, throwing his arms up in a celebratory manner.-

Featherweight: YEEEEEEAAAAAAH! -He pounds his chest. His seizure is cut short by a clothesline from Overdrive. Featherweight oversells it by doing a backflip before hitting the mat belly-first.-

Ahuizotl: OOOOOOH! Overdrive just turned poor Featherweight inside out!

Garble: "POOR"? He DESERVED it!

-Overdrive cracks his neck, and begins to work on Featherweight.-

*3 minutes later*

-Featherweight begins to crawl up Overdrive's kneepads slowly and with not much life left in him.-

Ahuizotl: Could Overdrive be showing mercy?

Garble: No way! He's been decimating this pipsqueak since he slapped him for no good reason. He's just toying with him.

-When Featherweight gets to Overdrive's tights, Overdrive SHOVES Featherweight into the ropes, and levels him with a Scoop Powerslam on the bounce!-

Garble: He hits it! The move he beat Horsepower with!

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Overdrive...once again in impressive fashion, builds momentum to Proving Grounds!

-Trending now on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution", "Twilight Sparkle" and "#StupidSexyCloudchaser"-

Garble: I'm beginning to see it your way, 'Zotl...how CAN Rumble beat Overdrive?

-We meet back up with Braeburn, Happy Trails, and Applejack at "The Wet Sardine" diner on the outskirts of Canterlot.-

Happy Trails: -Banging his fork and knife against the table like a little kid- AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS! AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS!

Braeburn: Will YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU SHUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP?

Happy: Che-

Braeburn: NO.

Happy: CHE-

Braeburn: AH DUN THINK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOUSIIIINNNNNNNNN. If ah couldn't get mah MOOOOOOOOONNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIINNNNNNE, than y'all ain't gettin' whatever y'all want!

-The waitress walks up to their table-

Waitress: Hello, darlings. I'm Cherry Jubilee, and I'll be y'all's waitress for this evening! Can I start y'all off with some ref- -Cherry notices the knocked out Applejack hunched over in her booth seat- Ummm...sugs'...is she alright?

Braeburn: Y'ALL DUN NEED TA WORRY 'BOUT APPLEJACK NOW SHE'S JUST A DUMB BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH.

Happy: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! What a DUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB fuckin' cunt.

Cherry's mind: -Sigh-...not THESE kind'a folk again...

Cherry: -Puts on the best fake grin she can- Wwwwwweeeelllll...what can I get for y'all FIIIINNNEEEEE people today?

Happy: HUR HUR AH DUN WANT CHEESY TATER TO- -Braeburn sticks the toothbrush he uses to wipe the mud off of his boots into Happy's mouth-

Braeburn: Jus' get us all some BIIIIIIISSSSSCCCCCUUUUUUIIIITTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS n' gravy, toots! -Smacks Cheery's ass-

Cherry: -Barely keeps her composure, her teeth being ground up like coffee wait wut analogy- Three biscuits and gravies comin' RIIIGGGHHTTTT up, sugs'...-starts walking off, mumbling- And I'll be sure to get y'all a nice tall glass of MANNERS, too...

Braeburn: Cousin Happeh...what in Nickelback's armpit are y'all doin'...?

Happy: -Pouring a bottle of ketchup onto his head- HUR HUR...AH DUN SAW A SKUNK EARLIER, COUSIN BRRRRRRRAAAAAEEEEBBBBBUUUUURRRRN! GOTTA GET THE STTTTTTTTTTAAAAAANNNNNNNNKKKKK OUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

*Commercial*

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman, I am standing by with the BroMans- -Shining Armor and Flash Sentry put their arms around his shoulders, shaking furiously. The interviewer laughs at their antics-...Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry! Shining, how are you feeling after that heinous attack at the hands of Snips & Snails a few weeks ago?

Shining: Well, *REDACTED*...apparently those two ARE calling themselves SLIME officially-

Flash: And it FITS!

Shining: -Nods- It absolutely does. Snips and Snails are in fact nothing but grotesque and vile little rats, and when someone attempts to corner them, they'll just OOOOZZEEE right into the manhole.

Flash: Nice symbolism!

Shining: As far as my...-points to his head, as he still has the bandage- injury...I am recovering, but the doctors have stated I will not be able to compete until Proving Grounds.

Interviewer: Wait...you'll be competing at Proving Grounds?

Shining: Not just me, but Flash as well.

Flash: Hi! -Waves at the camera-

Shining: General Manager Luna has given us a match with the men who TRIED to take me out...

Flash: But FAILED!

Shining: ...Snips and Snails, or SLIME if they prefer. It will be a tornado tag team match; nobody tags in, nobody tags out, and with both me AND Flash in the ring at the same time...SLIME will not be able to slither away.

Interviewer: That sounds like it will be a hell of a match-up! One last question, Shining...do you care to comment on the situation with Cadance and Sunset Shimmer?

-Flash turns to glare at Shining Armor. He has his arms crossed-

Flash: Yeah, man...what's going on between you and my girlfriend?

Shining: -Sigh- Nothing, dude...look, I'm with Cadance...THAT'S my girl. I know the boundaries one should not cross when it comes to women, and taking your best friend's girl? It's not one of them. Sunset Shimmer wants to kick my girl's ass on a weekly basis, and I get that; women FIGHT. But your girl is targeting ME in the process.

Flash: -Frowns and scratches the back of his neck- Yeah...sorry about that. Sunny kind of...does what she wants...

Shining: Well, you need to keep a handle on her. I am NOT losing Cadance to this BULLSHIT. Talk to her, because Cadance is starting to get suspicious...

Flash: I-...I will, man. Don't you worry. I'll get this ALL sorted out. Now, how about we go get some Tacos?

Shining: Fine. You driving? -They start to walk off-

Flash: -Laughing- What? Concussions impair your steering ability, too?

Shining: -Chuckling- Shut up, man...

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, gentlemen...

*The whirring of a drill*

Garble: JESUS JUMP-SCARE!

Ahuizotl: I'm not sure whose more scary...Twist...or COLGATE...

Garble: One pulls teeth, and one pulls...odd thoughts into your mind?

Ahuizotl: Good enough!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 132 POOOOUUNNDSSS...COOOLLLLGAAAATTEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Last week, Colgate was successful against Twist-

Garble: Of course she was! Twist SUCKS. Colgate DRILLS.

Ahuizotl: Nice one, boy. Tonight, however...Colgate faces a more DAUNTING task...

*REDACTED THEME* (LUL more daunting opponent = NO THEME lul) -Crowd cheers-

Garble: Wow...you weren't kidding.

Announcer: Aaaaaannndddd HER OPPONENT! From LOOONNEYYVVIILLEE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSSS...RAAAARRIITTTTTTYYYYY!

Garble: Rarity, who put on a near STELLAR performance in the battle royal two weeks ago, and who nearly won the opportunity to face Lightning Dust for her championship, makes her debut in singles action tonight.

Ahuizotl: She has an eye for fashion, as well as an eye for competition. Colgate may not have such an easy time this go-a-round in the ring...

-Rarity does not look intimidated, as she stares off with Colgate-

Garble: This is gonna be good...

Match 4: Rarity vs Colgate

-23 minutes-

-After 23 minutes of action, Colgate has kicked out of two of Rarity's finishers, 3 of her signatures, and eaten a DDT onto the apron. Rarity on the other hand, has kicked out of one of Colgate's "BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT" finishers, a high impact powerbomb off of the top rope, and a curb-stomp. On top of all of that, it's just been an AWESOME match. All of the multiple near-falls have made the crowd shocked because often times, they didn't think either wrestler would could out. This match has played with their emotions.-

Crowd: THIS IS AWES-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*!

Ahuizotl: These two women have put their heart and SOUL into this match-up, and the fans are SHOWING their appreciation!

Garble: As far as it goes for Rarity, anybody who says that "prissy clothes designers" can't FIGHT...you're DAMN WRONG. The ruthlessness of Colgate, and the technical prowess of Rarity...makes for the best match on the card! I GUARANTEE it!

-Rarity connects with a northern lights suplex.-

Ahuizotl: Will THIS be it?!

1...2...-At the very last second, Colgate inches her right arm out, and JAMS her hand into Rarity's mouth. The crowd cannot contain themselves, and go WILD at this counter.-

Garble: No! Rarity kicks out-HOLY HELL! COLGATE LOCKS IN THE "ROOT CANAL"! IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

Ahuizotl: This is the move that made blood OOZE out of Twist's mouth last week!

Garble: All she does is just YANK at her opponent's teeth! It's so simple, but it makes you CRINGE just watching it!

Crowd: RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY!

-Rarity squirms and writhes in pain, desperately trying to make it to the ropes. Colgate notices this, and uses her legs to clench Rarity's anxious arms against her thighs to prevent the possibility of the rope-break. Colgate also moves the finisher into a seated position.-

Garble: Oh the ring awareness of Colgate is UNBELIEVABLE!

Ahuizotl: CAN RARITY MAKE IT OUT?

-With no hope of making it to the ropes, and no hope of escaping, Rarity taps like a mad-man-

Ahuizotl: She couldn't make it! She had to tap if she wanted to keep her molars!

Announcer: Here is your winner...COLGAATTEEE...

Garble: What an absolutely SPECTACULAR match! Even in defeat, there were many times in this match that I thought Colgate was DONE! The same could be said from Rarity! She hung on as LONG as she could!

-Colgate tries to do more damage, but the referee forces her out of the ring. Colgate lightly kicks Rarity in the head on her way out of the ring. The fans continue to give a standing ovation to both Colgate and Rarity, as we cut backstage to see Diamond Tiara, with her neckbrace still intact, Silver Spoon, and Turf walking backstage.-

Garble: And it seems that The Mean Girls will be making their way to the ring. And if I'm not mistaken, apparently they are going to call out Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: With a vengeful Diamond Tiara out for Scootaloo's hide, it really wouldn't be too wise for Scootaloo to meet them in the ring. Non-the-less, that is NEXT...

*Commercial*

-We cut back to the ring, where The Mean Girls are already there as their music continues to play. All three have a mic.-

Crowd: HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: So rude...right after they show respect to Colgate and Rarity, they blatantly DISRESPECT the QUEEN here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

Ahuizotl: No, they're actually being QUITE thoughtful! They're asking how Diamond Tiara's neck is!

Garble: WELL IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD IF SHE STILL HAS A GOD-DAMN NECKBRACE ON!

Diamond: -Scoffs- Not this again...do you people have ANY sympathy in your fat and disgusting bodies? -Crowd boos-

Turf: YEAH! Show DT some respect before I MAKE YA!

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Garble: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! How hostile...

-Turf begins kicking the ring-ropes in utter rage-

Diamond: Just ignore them, girl. The only thing they're accomplishing is showing just how CLASSLESS they can be...-more boos- Onto more IMPORTANT things...after my...misfortunate fall into the barricade last week...thanks to -growls- TWILIGHT SPARKLE! The recovery process in my neck WAS stalled a bit. Too bad for you...now you won't get to see me in action until further notice...

Silver Spoon: It's okay, though, Diamond! We're like, here to get the job done and all those other cliche Action movie tropes.

Diamond: -Smirks- I know you are, Silver Spoon...and I know you and Turf WON'T let me down...

Turf: HELL no, DT! We're your besties, and besties ALWAYS stick together! -The three share a group hug-

Garble: -Sniffles- It's so beautiful...-blows his nose-

Crowd: KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

Garble: And the crowd ruins the moment...

Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky... -The hug breaks, and Diamond Tiara stomps her feet. The fans cheer-

Garble: CAN'T ANYBODY AROUND HERE LET A MOMENT GO ON?!

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo has been FALSELY targeted by these three since the inception of Lunacy, but Scootaloo has been able to take EVERYTHING they've thrown at her, and she's become a fan favorite because of it!

-Scootaloo smiles out at the crowd, as chants of "SCOOTALOO" reign supreme. Scootaloo already has a mic, and she gets in the ring.-

Scootaloo: I hate to breakup this little love fest you've three got going on, but I just HAD to stop it all before I THREW up! -Cheers-

Diamond: Speaking of THROW-UP, it's good that your VOMIT colored body is out here, because The Mean Girls actually have an ANNOUNCEMENT to make!

Scootaloo: What? You're retiring?

Diamond: -Narrows eyes- You wish...n-

Scootaloo: You're posing for Playboy?

Diamond: -Points out at the crowd- THEY wish!

Garble: I WISH!

-Silver Spoon gets a creepy face at the possibility of Diamond Tiara being in Playboy. Turf glares at her with a raised eyebrow-

Diamond: NO! As Princess Luna said earlier, there are still CHAMPIONS that need to be crowned. Notice the "s" at the end of CHAMPION. Lunacy needs TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. And...unlike ALL OF YOU -gestures to the crowd-, Princess Luna knows TALENT when she sees it...

Scootaloo: Yeah...I guess I AM pretty talented, aren't I?

Turf: NOT YOU, BITCH! US! Me and SILVER SPOON! WE'RE the premier tag team in the EWF, and she has given us the chance to become the Chick Combo champions at Proving Grounds.

Scootaloo: Good for you? I don't get how I fit into this...

Diamond: Of COURSE you don't...for snooping around in the H.B.I.C.'s business, Princess Luna decided to reward YOU too...

Scootaloo: You mean...I'll get that opportunity, too?

Diamond: Unfortunately. It's pretty unfair. I bet you're SO proud of yourself...you've inspired everybody to think that if they interject themselves into any situation they want, they can get the same reward as those who WORKED for it.

Scootaloo: Worked for it? None of you three have even won a MATCH yet! I've BEATEN all THREE of you!

Turf: -Lunges at Scootaloo, but gets held back by Silver Spoon- YOU WON'T BE BRAGGING AFTER PROVING GROUNDS, YOU ORANGE WHORE!

Scootaloo: -Smirks- Your insults stopped hurting me LONG ago...

Diamond: We know...that's why wrestling is PERFECT for us. If our words fail, we always have the right to hurt you with ACTIONS. -Giggles evilly-

Scootaloo: -Waves this threat off- Hold on, though...how can I challenge for the tag team titles? I don't have a partner...

Diamond: That's what we're confused about, as well. The only way you could face my bitches is if you had a partner of your own, and your other LOSER friends are on Sublime...you'd have to find a TOTALLY different partner.

Silver Spoon: And, like, let's face it...who would want to team up with YOU? -Diamond Tiara snorts, and Turf and Silver Spoon guffaw-

*GLASS SHATTERS* -The crowd pops, and the Mean Girls' laughter stops as they and Scootaloo turn to the stage-

Garble: That's...Berry Punch?!

Ahuizotl: Does she want to Scootaloo's PARTNER?

-Berry Punch struts to the ring in her black leather jacket. She works all four turnbuckles, throwing up her middle fingers. After the last turnbuckle, she comes by and SWIPES Silver Spoon's microphone out of her hand. The crowd cheers. Silver Spoon gasps, and the other Mean Girls do NOT look impressed. Berry Punch stands by Scootaloo.-

Berry Punch: So...I hear you're looking for a tag team partner? -She looks at Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: I guess I'd need one to compete for the titles.

Berry: Well I'll be DAMNED-you've found one! -Crowd cheers, as the Mean Girls laugh-

Diamond: Uhum...EXCUSE me, but THAT'S HILARIOUS! You're going to team up with the locker room's DRUNK? -More laughter-

Turf: I mean, YOU'RE a big enough loser, Scootaloo...but even YOU'VE got to have standards! Berry Punch?! That's the bottom of the ROSTER!

Berry: -Points- You shut your damn mouth you poofy-haired bitch. -Crowd erupts in cheers-

Scootaloo: -Leans in to Berry Punch- I'd rather have my eyes jabbed out than agree with them, but, they DO have a point, Berry Punch...in your debut match you...passed out and lost. How can I count on you to help me win the titles?

Berry: Because I'm "Marble Cold" Berry Punch, that's why! I'm the toughest D.O.B in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! I beat the wigs off people. I'm bad news. I'm worth the time. I'm an ass-kicker. I'm the only hope you've got, so ya might as well take it, or I'll leave ya to get your ass kicked! Do you accept my partnership?

Scootaloo: I've done fine by myself so far...but being a champion is what I came to the EWF for...could you just PROVE to me what you bring to the table first?

Berry: Well, hot-damn...thanks for forgetting everything I just said-but FINE...-darts her eyes back and forth between Silver Spoon and Turf. She finally points at Silver Spoon- YOU. I'll snap your spine in half, and use you to stir my damn Cheerios. -Crowd cheers- You come out here with your big damn reading glasses. Your little pink braid in your lint-colored hair. I mean HELL, I find lint looking like your hair in my belly-button. -Silver Spoon starts to become agitated- Your gaudy pearl necklace, that's probably made from blue Sixlets. Your ugly-ass purple boots, with a little blue bow-tie strapped to each one. I mean damn...I know more about fashion than you, ya dumb bitch. You wanna come out here and INSULT...Marble Cold Berry Punch...with your mere existence? How about I stomp a dirt-hole in your ass, and WALK IT DRY? -Crowd cheers-

Silver Spoon: -Undoing her braid- YOU'RE ON!

Berry: ...Well alright. Scootaloo, watch with your damn eyes. You two hussies -points at Turf and Diamond Tiara- Get your asses out of Marble Cold's ring, or I'll beat the EVER-LOVING hell out of ALL your asses!

-Turf, out of concern for Diamond Tiara's well-being, leaves the ring with her. Scootaloo leaves too, and Silver Spoon gets in Berry Punch's face-

Silver Spoon: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'LL BEAT YOU SO BAD, YOU'LL WANT TO NEVER TEAM UP WITH SCOOTAL- -Berry Punch interrupts with a right hand, sending Silver Spoon tumbling in the turnbuckle. Berry Punch begins to kick her until she goes into a downed-position-

Garble: I guess that's what Berry Punch met by "stomping a dirt-hole"...she won't STOP!

Ahuizotl: And it looks like we've got an impromptu match on our hands!

Match 5: Silver Spoon vs Berry Punch

-10 minutes later-

-Berry Punch takes down Silver Spoon with a Uol Zseht Press, and a few punches. Turf gets on the ring apron.-

Ahuizotl: What is with women always wanting to interfere in these matches?

Garble: Women CRAVE attention, 'Zotl...you should know that.

Ahuizotl: Well, it's going to end up biting them on the ass!

-Berry sees this, grabs Silver Spoon, and Irish whips her. Turf doesn't see her fellow bitch coming towards her, as she is busy telling off the ref, so she can't move out of the way, and gets knocked down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: I warned her...

Silver Spoon: I am SO SORRY!

-Berry waits for Silver Spoon-

Garble: You might not want to turn around!

-When Silver Spoon turns around, she is met with the middle fingers of Berry Punch. Berry kicks her in the gut, hooks her neck, and drives herself and her opponent down with The Bar Tab. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Now we've BOTH been right about something at least ONCE in this match!

1...2...3!

Garble: And Berry Punch...proves herself to be a WORTHY partner, and I KNOW I'm right about THAT!

Announcer: Here is YOUR WIINNNEERRR...BEEEEEERRRYYY...PUUUUNNCCCCHHHHH!

-Turf drags Silver Spoon out of the ring, and runs in. She tries to attack Berry Punch, but Berry was waiting for her, and takes her out with The Bar Tab! The crowd cheers even more.-

Ahuizotl: Turf tried to get the jump on an unsuspecting Berry Punch, but "Marble Cold" was INDEED waiting for her!

Garble: It's like she has eyes in the back of her head...

-Diamond Tiara screams outside the ring, as Scootaloo extends her hand. Berry soon shakes it-

Garble: It's official! At Proving Grounds, the vacant Chick Combo titles will be ON THE LINE, as Turf and Silver Spoon, face off against the BRAND NEW tag team...Of Scootaloo and Berry Punch!

-Berry Punch gestures to the timekeeper, and gets a few beers thrown her way. She catches both.-

Ahuizotl: And now...it's time for a little CELEBRATION!

-Berry offers a beer to Scootaloo, but she grimaces and puts her hands up-

Garble: Surely she knows Scootaloo is under-aged...

-Berry Punch shrugs, and downs both beers at the same time-

Ahuizotl: This team may have came out of nowhere, but it still looks pretty formidable...I'd be worried if I were The Mean Girls!

Garble: Diamond Tiara is the greatest manager, though. Turf and Silver Spoon are in good hands...

-The graphic for our main event tag team match pops up. Twilight, Cadance, Sunset, and Lightning are all in determined poses. The phrase "NEXT" lies under it.-

*Commercial*

*Back at the Diner...*

-Cherry Jubilee returns with Braeburn's, Happy Trails' and Applejack's biscuits and gravy-

Cherry: Enjoy your meal...-sets the plates down-

Happy: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

-Braeburn and Happy get out of their booth, and do a country jig, they sing-

Braeburn and Happy: BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVYYYYYYYY...MADE ME A MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRAAAAAAVVVVVVV-YYYYYYYY...MADE ME ALL THAT AH AM!

-Cherry walks away, rolling her eyes. The cousins sit back down at their booth-

Happy: Hey, cos! -Points at Braeburn's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Braeburn: SUURRRRRRRREEEEEE AMMMMMMMMMMM! -Points at Happy's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Happy: Yup!

Braeburn: ...-Angry face- AH HATE YOU.

Happy: AH HATE YOU TOO.

-Braeburn grabs Happy in a headlock, and forces him out of the booth and to the floor. They immediately start hitting each other.-

Braeburn: AH'M GON' BEAT THE SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT OUTTA YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!

Happy: FUCK YOU, COS! FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK Y'AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

-Braeburn kicks Happy in the gut, and runs out of the dinner with him on his tail. Happy soon tackles Braeburn outside-

Happy: AH'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Braeburn: YUR A PIECE'A SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, COOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!

Happy: YUR A BIGGER PIECE'A SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

-They continue fighting on the ground, as the scene fades out-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: It's time...for our MAIN EVENT of the evening!

Spike: The following TAG TEEAAAM contest...is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...at a combined weight...of 272 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAANNCCEEE...AND TWWIIILLLIIGGHHTTT...SPPPPAARRRKKLLLEEEEE!

Garble: I can only IMAGINE what is going to happen when we put two of the biggest rivalries in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation in ONE MATCH!

Ahuizotl: A nuclear-like explosion at best, boy. Sunset Shimmer and Cadance have put each other through HELL these past few weeks...it's gotten more personal than we could've EVER imagined. Where-as Lightning Dust and Twilight have been in a war-of-words, is the best way to describe it. They each make great points, but at the end of the day, you win by besting your opponent in the ring...NOT on the mic.

Garble: Although it IS very cool when you can prove your opponent wrong...

Welcome to the Danger Zone! -The crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: Aaaanndddd...THEIR opponents...at a combined weight of 274 POOOOUUNNDSSS...the team of SUNSET SHIIMEERR...and the Women's Eteerrnaaallll...Woorrlddd CHHAAMMPPIOONN...LIIIGHTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUST!

-Cadance and Twilight cannot wait for their opponents to get to the ring. They escape the ring and meet Sunset and Lightning on the ring to brawl-

Ahuizotl: I told you! This arena will not be able to HANDLE these four in the ring at the same time! They're going to have to stay outside!

Garble: We've gotta get some order here!

Main Event: Twilight Sparkle and Cadance vs Lightning Dust and Sunset Shimmer

-26 minutes later-

-Lightning Dust Irish whips Cadance into her corner. Twilight slaps her shoulder, tagging herself in. Lightning runs at Cadance, and Cadance moves herself out of the way, sending Lightning crashing shoulder first into the ring-post. Twilight climbs the top rope, and jumps off, flips herself in mid-air, and grabs Lightning's trunks on the way down to put her into a pinning predicament-

1...2...-Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin by coming into the ring and dropkicking Twilight in the face. The crowd cheers-

Garble: And Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin at the LAST second!

Ahuizotl: What a main event this has been!

-Cadance hits a running crossbody on Sunset by the ropes, sending them both over the top rope.-

Garble: Twilight and Lightning Dust are alone in the ring!

-Lightning Dust quickly gets up and goes for an enziguri, which misses. Twilight then attempts the Friendship Report report, which Lightning counters into an armdrag, sending Twilight into the corner. Lightning runs at Twilight in the corner fora Stinger Splash. Twilight moves, but instead of colliding with the turnbuckle, Lightning LEAPS onto it. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Lightning Dust to avoid contact with the turnbuckle!

Garble: That's why she's the champion...enough agility to power an Olympic track team!

-Lightning doesn't even need to look back as she leaps into the air for a Moonsault. Many camera were flashed that day as Twilight Sparkle moved at the last minute. The crowd "OOH's" and boos in response-

Ahuizotl: THAT WAS A PICTURE PERFECT MOONSAULT BY LIGHTNING DUST!

Garble: Complete with a picture perfect MISS! Can Twilight take advantage?

-Twilight quickly picks Lightning Dust up, and connects with the Take A Note!-

Garble: She does!

1...2...3! -The crowd could not boo any more.-

Ahuizotl: For the second week in a row...Twilight Sparkle has pinned the Eternal Women's Champion!

Garble: Talk about MOMENTUM.

Spike: Here are your WINNERS...CADANCE...and TWWWIILLIIGGHTTT SPPAARRKKLLEEEEEE! -The crowd continues to boo-

Crowd: Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS!

Ahuizotl: Yet another unpredictable night here at Lunacy...Twilight wins AGAIN. Can she win the Championship debate next week?

Garble: We shall see. Until next week...goodnight, jerks!

-The show ends with Twilight and Cadance hugging as Spike applauds. The crowd ends with one last "WE WANT DARING" chant-

*Meanwhile*

-Realization hits both Braeburn and Happy Trails. They cease fighting, and get up, dusting themselves off. After a few moments of looking deep into eachother's eyes...they hug, spewing manly tears simultaneously.-

Happy: AH-HA LOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE YOU, COOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Braeburn: -Sniffling uncontrollably- AH LOVE Y'ALL TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! -They break the hug-

Happy: -Pulls out of Roman Candle- Fuck Applejack...let's go git some MOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE!

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! She's a DUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB slut.

-Happy lights the Roman Candle, and chucks it at the diner. It soon goes off, and blows up the diner because Michael Bay-

Braeburn: Mama always said life was like a box'a Roman Can-dles...ya never know where yur gon' throw 'em...

Happy: -Wipes his eyes out- That'll do, cos...that'll do... -The two cousins put their arms around each other, and walk off into the sunset as the fire emanating from the diner crackles...like the biggest fireplace ever.-

*End Show*

Quick Results:

DJ Zema Ion and Neon Lights defeated Clip Clop and Bill Neigh (Interference from Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser)
Bon Bon defeated Twist (Pinfall)
Overdrive defeated Featherweight (Pinfall)
Colgate defeated Rarity (Submission)
Berry Punch defeated Silver Spoon (Pinfall)
Twilight Sparkle and Cadance defeated Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (Pinfall)