The shows starts off with the lights turned off after the EWF logo encases the screen. The lights slowly dim on, and the capacity crowd begins cheering, as they prepare for the newest initiative in Equestrian entertainment: the Equestrian Wrestling Federation.

The camera zooms all across the crowd, trying to catch as many of the fans' and their doofy faces as possible.

We cut to the commentator's table next to ringside, where strange looking Ahuizotl is posting angry blog-posts on his "Daring Do SUCKS" tumblr. Next to him, Garble is yanking at his tie uncomfortably. Sooner or later, he yanks it off and throws it behind him in frustration.

Garble's eyes go wide as he leans in against the table.

"What? W-we're on? Dammit!" He curses in whisper-form. "Hey, narrow-eyes...you hear that?"

"JUST A MINUTE!" Ahuizotl screeches. "THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF MY UNDENYING HATE FOR DARING D-"

Suddenly, Garble puts his feet up on the commentary table, knocking Ahuizotl's laptop down to the floor.

"Hello, ladies and germs," Garble welcomes. "And thanks for spending your pathetic lives with us from now on."

Ahuizotl fumes. "YOU BRAT!"

Suddenly, the EWF lose all of their funds, and must resort to the shitty style of text formatting.

Garble: -Rolls his eyes- I'm Garble, the coolest mofo to ever barge into your living room.

Ahuizotl: And I am AHUIZOTL! Sworn nemesis of DARING DO! -Cackles- Welcome to the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! The newest source of entertainment in Equestria!

Garble: Just so everybody is aware...it was either this, or I work at a Twizzler's factory...

Ahuizotl: Oh, COME ON, boy! It won't be so bad, I'm sure...although...I am a bit disappointed that Daring Do is not on this roster-WHERE IS DARING DO?!

Garble: Hey, I've got my enemies, too! I hope Spike has a lava-pool match against himself! -Snorts-

Ahuizotl: I hope Daring Do gets traded to Lunacy so I can RIP HER APARRRRRRTTTT!

-They are yelled at in their ear-piece again-

Ahuizotl: Oh no! We're stalling, apparently! -Cries- WE ARE SO BAD AT THIS!

Garble: Hell, everyone is going to be...nobody on this roster has ever even wrestled before...

Filthy Rich in headphones: NO, DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! THE FANS ARE SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT WRESTLING IS REAL!

Garble: DAMMIT!

Ahuizotl: -Gulps- I pray for you, boy...

Garble: -Listens in, and nods. Suddenly gets cocky again- Lucky for everybody at home, me and narrow-eyes here are going to be calling the action that happens inside that ring. Naturally, you jerks should get the best that there is...

Ahuizotl: WHAT'S AN ARMDRAG?!

-Garble facepalms-

Ahuizotl: Yes, yes! HEHE-I was just testing our fans' knowledge of the iconic ARM-DRAG that uhhh...Louie Ecoli used back in the beginning stages of modern Equestrian wrestling!

Garble: Don't expect to see THAT many armdrags, though...the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is all about bringing the SMASH-MOUTH side of professional wrestling across syndicated television! We're talking steel chair shots, hot women, and OIL...

Ahuizotl: So...much...oil...-imagines Daring Do with a lot of oil on in her wrestling getup- AHHHH MY SANITY!

Garble: -Points at his partner- Yup...you nerds guessed it right...HE'LL be the weird one...

Ahuizotl: The days of 45 minute hugs and traditional "point systems" are OVER! It's this simple: If a superstar wants to get to the top here in the EWF, they'll have to break hearts, forge alliances, and do a slew of underhanded tactics!

Garble: Well, the COOL ones will...the losers will play it fair, and never end up anywhere...

Ahuizotl: We will learn every superstar's goals, and if they will be "cool" or a "loser", as you say, as time goes on...

Garble: Enough talk, though! More will be explained when need be! Let's FIGHT!

Ahuizotl: -Cowers- I FORGOT MY SPANDEX! BE GENTLE!

-Garble raises an eyebrow, and slowly looks at the camera-

Garble: It's gonna be a LOOOOONNGGG journey...

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

-The crowd rises and applauds-

Ahuizotl: OH YES! We are back, with the OWNER of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...FILTHY RICH!

Garble: The guy that signs ALL the checks, bro. Don't say anything stupid. You'll regret it.

Ahuizotl: Like you did just earlier? -Smirks-

Garble: ...

-Flithy Rich struts down the ramp, and enters the ring. He plays to the crowd, and they begin to cheer some more. Filthy Rich smiles as he motions for a mic. He gets one as the announcer whom I have no idea who it is yet gives him his/her. Again dunno-

Filthy Rich: ARE YA READY FOR SOME WRESTLIIINGG? -Crowd cheers- That's wonderful to hear! -Looks around- Wow...the first night in business, and we've got a packed house...how 'bout that? Well, ladies and gentleman, I am Filthy Rich. I'm the man who had a dream, and that dream was to bring the world of professional wrestling BACK to Equestria! As you may know, pro wrestling was banned from Equestria 35 years ago for being "in poor conduct"...the day pro wrestling went off television, I was 9...I was DEVASTATED. Me and my dad used to watch it every Saturday. Well, little Filthy grew up to be a GREAT businessman, just like his old man...I opened Barnyard Bargains in Loneyville, and I've singlehandedly UPPED the stock exchange, but when I'm old and gray...well, more older and grayer than I already am -chuckles-, I believe THIS...THIS...will be my GREATEST accomplishment. Not only using my hard-earned money to open up my own wrestling company, but putting professional wrestling BACK. ON. THE. MAP! -Crowd cheers- And I'm SO GLAD you all could join me in making HISTORY! We're going to break BARRIERS...we're going to CHANGE THE RULES...we're going to change the SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT WOOORRRLLLDDDD! And it all...starts...TONIGHT. This is the first shot fired, in the battle to make the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, the most WATCHED sport in EQUESTRIA!

Phase 1 ends...on February 4th, 2014, when we go head to head with the SUPER BOWL! On that day, we will be presenting our first ever pay per view: Proving Grounds. THAT is the day we will PROVE ourselves, and the Super Bowl will FALL to professional wrestling! No offense to any football fans out there, I'm one myself, but wrestling is a REAL sport! -Crowd cheers- And we're going to PROVE it! I've got 40 or so INCREDIBLE talents back behind that locker room that are going to HELP us prove it, too! Tonight, our first ever Women's Eternal World Champion will be crowned in a 20 woman, over the top rope BATTLE ROYAL. We also have a men's division, filled with some of the most hungry and determined young lads I've EVER met. You'll also see THEM in action, as well. That's not all, though...hell, I don't even know what else is going to happen! That's why this show is called Lunacy! IT'S NUTS! Well, I'll leave you all to get to know the many vibrant superstars we have to offer, as well as the varying degree of entertainment we will provide. You all have a great night! -Filthy lays down his mic, and goes to leave the ring-

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true...

Garble: Oho! And here is one of the MANY talented females Mr. Rich was talking about...his daughter, Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: You haven't even seen her compete yet!

Garble: I only know because she couldn't stop telling me backstage all day...

Ahuizotl: Pfttt, sounds like her...looks like she's being flanked by her two "besties", Silver Spoon and Turf!

Garble: She tell you their her "besties", too?

Ahuizotl: Nope! I'm just trying to live my fantasy as a teenage girl!

Garble: DA HELL?

Ahuizotl: DREAMS ARE MEANT TO BE LIVED! NO MATTER HOW OBSCENE THEY MAY BE!

-Diamond Tiara and company look out to the crowd, and shake their heads as they are not impressed. Filthy Rich smiles as her daughter gets in the ring-

-Diamond stomps her foot, and demands another mic. She slaps the announcer when he/she gives it to her-

Crowd: OHH! -The crowd then begins to slightly boo. It's obvious they know these 3 are meant to be heels-

Diamond Tiara: -goes from disgusted to happy as she sees her dad- DADDY! -She goes to hug him, but falls to the mat as Filthy Rich moves out of the way-

-The crowd cheers and laughs-

Filthy: Sorry, pumpkin...it's time you learned some RESPECT...that's why you're in this company. Slapping our ring announcer? That's childish and UNACCEPTABLE!

-Silver Spoon and Turf try to help Diamond Tiara up, but she yells at them in embarrassment. She gets up on her own power-

Diamond: -Angrily- DADDY! I can't BELIEVE you would embarrass me in front of all of these LOSERS! -Crowd boos-

Filthy: THAT'S another thing...these fans will be the ones that sign your paychecks. It would be wise to show them some respect, as well.

Diamond: But this isn't FAAAAIRRRRR! I shouldn't have to...-grimaces-...WORK for MONEY! What if I break a nail in this ring? -Silver Spoon and Turf nod behind her in dramatic fashion- THAT...would be...a DISASTERRRRR...

Filthy: You are a grown woman, Diamond Tiara! It's time you pay for your needs.

Diamond: What I NEED is a little nepotism here, daddy! You can't put your innocent baby girl in front of all of these BARBARIC fans while some other SKANK tries to rip apart her face!

Filthy: That's why I paid for you to get into that Dojo when you were little...to FIGHT back.

Diamond: -Pouts- That dirty Asian taught me to KICK, not KICK a bitch that's RUNNING AT ME FULL-STEAM AHEAD! It was a WASTE of money!

Filthy: Well, now you can earn your money and get into a better Dojo. Look, Diamond...your father is VERY busy right now...I'll leave you and the girls to introduce yourself to the lovely people. Could you do that for me, please?

Diamond: Ugh...-monotone- yeeesss, daddyyyy...

Filthy: -hugs his daughter- Thank you, sweet-pea. Now, if you need anything...just come to my office...-waves at the crowd- Have a good night, everybody! -Filthy leaves the ring, and walks up the ramp-

-Diamond and company continue to wave with giant grins, until Filthy is out of sight. Their grins are now gone-

-Diamond looks out towards the crowd cruelly, as they boo her even more-

Diamond: Listen up, you fat, neck-bearded slobs...I'm only going to tell you this ONCE...I'm Diamond Tiara...-she holds the mic to her left-

Silver Spoon: I'm Silver Spoon... -then to her right-

Turf: And I'm Turf...-she blows a kiss at the crowd-

Diamond: We are the H.B.I.C's here at this dump...that's Head. Bitches. In. Charge. Now you all know, and soon...EVERYBODY in the back will know. If anybody forgets, we WON'T hesitate to remind you AGAIN! That's all you need to know, and I'm sure it's all your small brains can comprehend...-Diamond quickly snaps- Let's go, chicks...

Silver Spoon: -gasps- But, Diamond! We forgot to do the thing!

Diamond: The thing? -realizes- Ohhhh...haha! You sure they can handle it? Whatever...fine. For your enjoyment, here is our TREAT for all of you losers...and NO, you are NOT allowed to use this fuel to write your disgusting fanfiction!

-Diamond, Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to do the Bump, Bump, Sugar Lump, Rump, but are interrupted at the end by...-

Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky

-Turf and Silver gasp in shock, as Diamond Tiara grits her teeth-

Ahuizotl: Well, this is unexpected...

Garble: And so RUDE! This is Scootaloo, one of the many LOSERS Diamond Tiara was referring to in the back! Why is SHE out here?

Ahuizotl: I suppose she had enough of Diamond Tiara's chivalry.

Garble: HOW is that possible? I could listen to DT's sexy voice ALL DAY...

Ahuizotl: I don't think you're the only one...-Ahuizotl notices 5 people have already sent him DTxSSxTurf fanfics on his tumblr-

Garble: ...looks like there's a reason to follow you on tumblr, after all...-grins-

-Scootaloo slowly gets in the ring, and flips her head backward, making her black hoody fall off her head. She immediately gets in Diamond Tiara's face. Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to make her back down-

-Diamond puts a hand up in retortion-

Diamond: Easy, gals...I've got this...and WHY wouldn't I? It's just...-snickers-...Scootaloo! -Diamond, Silver, and Turf cackle. Scootaloo forcefully grabs the mic out of Diamond's hand. The crowd cheers in response-

Scootaloo: Enough of this, Diamond! You just HAVE to be the center of attention, don't you?

Diamond: -Flips her hair- Well, DUH! Look at me! -She poses-

Scootaloo: -Examines- Oh, I'm looking...and the only thing I see, is the same spoiled brat you've been since I've known you!

Diamond: -Giggles- It's not a gimmick, honey...it's a LIFESTYLE.

Scootaloo: You'd figure you would grow the HELL up by now, though. But no...you're still the same old you...insulting the crowd, whining to your dad...you haven't changed a bit...

Diamond: Neither have YOU...and that's NOT a compliment. The only thing that's different is that you don't have those two hood ornaments, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to help you...

Scootaloo: You're right...I DON'T...but I know if they were here, they'd help me...but, since you haven't changed, and I'm pretty sure YOUR two hood ornaments haven't either, you'll probably just gang up on me.

-Turf shoves Scootaloo, and grabs the mic-

Turf: HOOD ORNAMENT? Bitch, you and your tacky insults don't mean a THING when you can't back them up!

-Scootaloo stands up, and wipes her mouth-

Scootaloo: So, I'm right then? You're gonna gang up on me?

Turf: -Smirks- Just like old times...

Scootaloo: Well, I guess without my friends, I'll have to learn to live with this...you three may still be bullies, but I'm stronger than you once knew me...after all, I had to train to be a wrestler. So, you MAY take me down, but I SWEAR on your father's company, Diamond Tiara...I WILL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME! -Crowd cheers-

-Scootaloo swats the mic out of Turf's hand, and knocks Silver Spoon to the mat with a right hand-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo fires the first punch!

Garble: WHAT IS THIS?! THAT LITTLE TICK!

-Scootaloo mounts Turf, and begins reigning down punches on top of her. She is nearly blindsided by Diamond with a karate kick to the side of the head, but Scootaloo catches her foot, and takes her down to the mat with a dragon screw. Scootaloo begins to use Diamond's leg as a weapon, as she sweeps Silver Spoon down to the mat with it, and begins to pound it into Turf's gut-

Small crowd chants: Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo!

Garble: STOP THIS CRAZED WOMAN! SHE'S NUT!

Ahuizotl: Must admit, though...she has a lot of guts taking on all three of them at once...

Garble: STOP ADMITTING AND JUST HELP DT!

Ahuizotl: -Puts up his hands in defense- Hey, don't look at me...I've never been to a dojo...-snickers-

-Diamond tries to use her other foot to kick Scootaloo away, but she grabs that one, as well-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is SKILLED!

Garble: Scootaloo is NUTS!

-Scootaloo twists Diamond's legs into a bow and arrow submission hold-

-Diamond wrath's in pain, and claws at the mat in an attempt to get away. She breaks a few nails-

Garble: Oh no! That's AWFUL! She really DID break a nail!

Ahuizotl: All a part of getting in that ring, if you ask me!

Garble: Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? How can you even see with your eyes so close together!?

Ahuizotl: Maybe it's not the fact that my eyes are too close together, but it's the fact that YOUR eyes are too far apart to see otherwise...

Garble: ...damn.

Ahuizotl: I know...

-As Scootaloo continues to tighten her grip on the submission, she cannot block a legdrop from Silver Spoon. Scootaloo has to let go, as Silver Spoon uses her leg to choke Scootaloo-

Garble: Such innovative offense by Silver Spoon! Get her, DT!

-Turf helps Diamond up. Turf walks over to Scootaloo, and Diamond hobbles over to her. Turf and Diamond pummel Scootaloo with stomps to the abdomen, as Silver Spoon continues to choke her-

-The crowd boos, as more chants of "Scootaloo" are heard-

Garble: Serves her right! How in the world did she think she could take ALL 3 of the H.B.I.C's?

Ahuizotl: Probably because she nearly did...

Garble: SHUT UP!

So together we are all lost on the moon, we all share our home on the moon

-Diamond and Turf cease stopping. Silver Spoon stands up, frightened-

Ahuizotl: Finally, some order! It's the general manager of Lunacy, as well as one of the princesses of Equestria...Princess Luna!

Garble: Oh...ummm...that EVIL Diamond Tiara! Luna should banish her!

Ahuizotl: Don't be a suck-up, boy...-disapproving glare- besides...she should only ban DARING DO!

Crowd: Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!

-Luna acknowledges the fans with a small smile, but raises a hand for them to stop. They do-

Luna: Well, it seems it did not take long for you 4 to cross paths...given your history, such does not surprise me...however, your behavior DOES DISGUST me, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf...your urge to fight, more-so, is what impresses me...-Scootaloo rolls out of the ring, coughing uncontrollably- SCOOTALOO! Inspiring your effort in that ring was...you have no doubt earned the respect of these fans...-the crowd cheers- as well as your debut match here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. That is correct...tonight, in the middle of that ring, Scootaloo...shall go one on one...with Diamond Tiara! -Crowd cheers some more, as Diamond is losing it in the ring- Good luck! -Luna leaves without another word-

Garble: That is HUGE! Good call by Princess Luna! THAT is a match we're ALL looking forward to!

Ahuizotl: I understand what you are doing...and I will play along. Especially after that AMAZING performance by young Scootaloo! If THAT little brawl was just a teaser, I can only IMAGINE the amount of damage those two will do to each other in that ring tonight!

Garble: More importantly...it's ONE on ONE. Turf and Silver Spoon can be in DT's corner, but they have to let her go at it ALONE.

Ahuizotl: Yes. Diamond certainly has something to prove, after the way Scootaloo embarrassed her and her friends!

Garble: Hey! Scootaloo blindsided her!

Ahuizotl: Switching sides again, are we?

Garble: Apparently it's good for business...-smirks-

Filthy Rich: DON'T SAY THAT LIVE!

Garble: I am such a noob...

-Scootaloo continues to cough, but she can't help but grin at Diamond Tiara as she holds her chest. Diamond Tiara cannot help but cause a scene in the ring. Turf and Silver Spoon can only whisper how cute her shoes look to calm her down-

*Commercial break...*

EHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show...

Garble: And as the rebellious ballad of the Insane Clown Posse blares through the Loneyville Asylum, we are set, for the FIRST official match...in Equestrian Wrestling Federation HISTORY.

-Midnight Strike comes through the curtain with a determined look on her face. Behind her emerges Dance Fever, who is doing some outdated Disco dance, Hugh Jelly, who glances at the crowd creepily as he smears grape jelly all over his face, Bill Neigh, who is trying to solve quantum physics, and Clip Clop, who is busy making balloon animals of sloths-

-The 4 males of "The Oddities" begin clapping to the beat of their theme music, trying to get the crowd involved. The crowd soon joins in, but in small doses. Midnight Strike keeps glancing back at her stable mates, shaking her head emotionless at their antics-

-Midnight gets in the ring, and simply stares out at the crowd, throwing her arms up. There really isn't much to her, it seems. All of her stable mates continue to clap and goof off outside the ring-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAALLLL! Introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALEEEEEE, weighing in at 157 POOOOUUNDSSSS...The Killer Beeeeeee...MIIIDDDNIIIIIGGHTTTT STRRRRIIIKKKEEEEEE!

-Midnight stands in one corner, awaiting her opponent-

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no LIIESSS...

Garble: Oh no...not HER...

-Twist comes running out onto the stage. She begins shaking her hips, and then proceeds to twerk her way all the way down to the ring-

Crowd: -Disgusted noises-

Ahuizotl: MY EYEEESSS! MY EYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

-Midnight has turned herself around, as she is now being smothered by the top turnbuckle-

-Twist crawls along the apron seductively, and slides into the ring, as the cameraman gets in there for a horrible shot of her ass-

-The crowd begins to boo. HEAVILY-

Ahuizotl: CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH!

-The announcer has thrown up, and thus, cannot announce Twist-

Match 1: "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike vs Twist

-Midnight glares at her opponent, as Twist blushes at her corner-

Garble: -Puts down his barf bag- Now then...'Zotl...tell us about "The Oddities."

Ahuizotl: Ah, yes. I suppose you could call them "the rejects" of Lunacy. Bill Neigh is a college professor by day, and professional wrestler by night, Dance Fever runs an underground Disco club, where he wins EVERY contest that he takes part in, Clip Clop is, well...a clown...and Hugh Jelly...is probably on the Equestria's Most Wanted list in some capacity...

Garble: And Midnight Strike, from the short conversation I had with her today, has NO IDEA what makes her "odd" enough to be in this group.

Ahuizotl: -Nods- She claims that she is a "loner", and that she doesn't understand WHY she got grouped up with these guys. She's a no-nonsense young woman. A RUTHLESS competitor. She's here to break skulls.

Garble: And she doesn't seem too happy with Twist's...entrance...

Ahuizotl: NOBODY was pleased with THAT image...

-Hugh Jelly dips a hand into his jelly jar, and uses it to slick his hair back. He accidentally gets a small puddle of it in the ring-

-Twist charges at Midnight, but slips in the jelly-

Referee: That's it! Ring the bell!

*DINGDINGDIINNGG*

Garble: Uhhhh...what?

-Referee whispers something to the announcer-

Announcer: -Clears throat- The winner by disqualification...TWIIIISSSTTT! -The crowd boos immensely, as Hugh Jelly's face droops-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! HOW IS THAT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE?! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Garble: This referee must not have read the rule book...

-Midnight rolls out of the ring, and walks towards a backpedaling Hugh Jelly, seething. Clip Clop blocks her path, and presents her with a smiley-face balloon. Midnight simply has to touch it with her index finger, and it pops. Clip Clop begins to cry, his makeup running down his face. Dance Fever and Bill Neigh console him, as Midnight runs after Hugh, who has flicked jelly onto the ramp to make Midnight trip over and over again-

Garble: Right from the start, we see the Oddities...ODD relationship...

-Twist begins to roll in the jam in the ring, posing for the crowd, who boos even more-

Ahuizotl: Speaking of odd-OH HELL WHY IS THIS REAL?!

Garble: CUT BACKSTAGE OR SOMETHING QUICK!

*Backstage...*

-Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust are walking through the hall, with huge smirks on their face-

Sunset: And just THINK, Dusty...I'm only one trip to the GM's office, and I'll have the opportunity to DESTROY that goody-two shoes Twilight Sparkle on the FIRST night...

Dust: One on one, she has no chance against you! In the battle royal, she'll just hide behind everybody else.

Sunset: Exactly...this is my big chance. First, I'll take her out, and then, I'll be the champion by the end of the night...

Dust: Yeah you will!

-Sunset stops in her tracks, and blocks Dust from moving-

Sunset: Look over there, Dust...-she points over to Shining Armor-

Dust: Yeah, it's Flash's tag team partner...so what?

Sunset: Don't you see? Imagine the look on Twilight's face if she sees me flirting with her brother...

Dust: -Snickers- Oh yeah! Go work your magic!

-Dust and Sunset saunter on over to Shining Armor-

Sunset: Oh...*giggle* hey, Shining...

Shining Armor: -Looks up from his cell phone- Oh...hey, girls. What's up?

Sunset: Oh, nothing much...just wanted to wish you luck in your match tonight. It's so cool that you and Flash get to wrestle for a chance to move on to the Combo of Carnage tag title match at Proving Grounds...-smiles-

Shining: It sure is! I can't wait to team up with my bro! He said he wouldn't let you down.

Sunset: -Twirls her hair- Oh, I KNOW he won't...and...I'm sure YOU won't either...-takes Shining's hands in hers- Maybe, since we'll ALL be winners after tonight...we can go...-runs a hand through Shining's hair-...CELEBRATE...

Shining:O-oh...I think I would enjoy-

HEY!

Sunset turns to see Cadance glaring at her, with her hands on her hips

Cadance: What the HELL do you think you're doing?

Sunset: Oh, I was just...checking on your boyfriend...seems like he's got a fever...-crosses her arms- Maybe you should keep a better eye on him...-smirks, and turns to Shining- all you need is an icepack...-pats his cheek, and begins to walk off, but still looks back at him- byyyyyeeeeeee...

-Cadance stands by Shining, with her hands still at her hips-

Shining: -Still smiling, but frowns when he notices the look Cadance is giving him- ...What? Babe, she's right! I need an aspirin...

Cadance: Uh huh...and SHE'LL need one after I'm done with her...-looks off in Sunset's direction angrily-

*GM's office...*

-Sunset Summer and Lightning Dust walk in. Luna stands up-

Luna: Well, hello girls...what can we do for you?

Sunset: Look, princess...you wanna make the boss proud? I wanna match with Twilight Sparkle!

Luna: Well, thanks for being so FORMAL about it, Sunset...

Sunset: -Pouts- Think about it, Luna! I'M YOUR star-pupil, and Twilight is your SISTER'S star-pupil...what better way to STICK it to her then giving me the chance to DESTROY her?

Luna: If by "star-pupil", you mean "Lunacy's best superstar", such has remained to be seen, and I have no desire to "stick it" to my sister. We also do not believe barging into one's office is a worthy case of receiving a match with ANYONE you want. Perhaps if you were to show some RESPECT towards your General Manager, we would consider it...

Sunset: Don't play politics with ME! I'm Sunset Shimmer! If I WANT a match, I'll GET it! Do you not have an EYE for talent?

Luna: Perhaps we can also remove you and Ms. Dust from the championship battle royal, as well...

Dust: -Eyes bulge- Oh NO, GML! Sunset is sorry for being so FORCEFUL with you, s-she didn't mean it! By the way, your hair looks BEAUTIFUL today...

Luna: -Deadpan- Kissing our butt also does nothing...

Dust: -Sighs-

Sunset: There is still NO REASON for you to deny your best superstar this! I came here looking for a FIGHT, and-

And you've got one in ME!

Luna: Ms. Cadance...how...unexpected...you...want a match with Sunset Shimmer?

Cadance: -Nods- Yes, ma'am, I do. Sorry to interrupt, but I caught her trying to soften up Shining Armor!

Sunset: Oh, back off, you dunce! It's all mind games. This isn't about YOU, it's about me and your boyfriend's SISTER.

Cadance: It DEFINITELY becomes about ME once you come into MY PERSONAL LIFE. Besides, what would FLASH think about this?

Sunset: He would support me, because he knows how much I've always wanted to get my hands on Twilight. He also realizes that I'll do ANYTHING to get what I want, and if I have to get through YOU to get to TWILIGHT, I'll do it!

Cadance: Come on then, you slut! I'm right here! -Gets in Sunset's face-

Luna: LADIES! LADIES!

-Dust separates the two-

Dust: Calm down, Sunny! You've gotta save your energy for Twilight!

Luna: There isn't going to BE a Twilight...yet, at least. Not until you get through Cadance that is, Sunset.

Sunset: What are you saying?

Luna: What I'm saying is, since you're both willing, and you've already got some bad blood, it only seems logical that you should settle it in the ring...

Dust: She can deal with that! Can't you Sunset?

Sunset: Luckily for Twilight, I CAN. Unluckily for YOU...-pokes Cadance in the chest-...I CAN.

Cadance: So can I...

Luna: It's settled, then. Now, ALL OF YOU! You've made your points clear...GO GET READY!

-Cadance leaves first, and then Sunset-

Dust: -Leaning on Luna's desk- Wow...tough crowd, huh?

Luna: -Sighs, and hits her head on the desk. Lightning Dust runs out of the office-

*Commercial*

The sky turns to a different shade of blue...

Garble: And our next match is going to decide who will move on to the Combo of Carnage tag team title match in 4 weeks at Proving Grounds.

Ahuzitol: The second team in that match will be determined THIS FRIDAY, on Friday Night Sublime!

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL, and will determine two of the participants, in the Combo of Carnage tag team championship match, at PROVING GROOOUUNNDD...introducing first, at a combined weight, of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...the team of SHINING ARMOORRR, and FLASH...SEEENNTTRRRYYYYYY!

Garble: Man, have these two been pumped to team up or WHAT?

Ahuizotl: They became friends through the Army, which both JUST got deployed from a few months ago.

Garble: And THAT is one of the best ways to develop a bromance...dodging bullets everyday, having your buddy's back. If I was gay, I'd call it beautiful!

Ahuizotl: ...

Garble: Are you gay?

Ahuizotl: NO!

Garble: -Smirks- JUUUSSTT checking...

[REDACTED THEME]

Announcer: And, from Canterlot...at a combined weight, of 443 pounds, accompanied by Fleur de LIS! The team of Gustave Le Grand, and FAAANCCCYYPANNTSSSS...EEEEEEGGGGGOOOOOO!

-Fancypants comes out, arm-in-arm with Fleur De Lis. Gustave is lurking next to him, swatting at the fans hands as they try to touch him- -The crowd begins to boo-

Ahuizotl: Ohhhhhhh, I HATE that Gustave Le Grand!

Garble: Heh. Why's that?

Ahuizotl: His MUSTACHE! It makes him look EVILLER than me!

Garble: And more bad-ass than you, too...

Ahuizotl: WHAT HAVE YOU SAID?

Garble: Well, no offense but...you look like a damn monkey, dude! No wonder Daring Do always beats you! SHE looks more intimidating than YOU!

Ahuizotl: -Begins to cry- YOU BASTARD CHILD!

Match 2: EGO vs Shining Armor and Flash Sentry

Garble: I talked to EGO earlier today, and they are POSITIVE they are the most cultured and sophisticated tag team in EWF. Not just of men, but of ALL tag teams!

Ahuizotl: Well, Fancy Pants is one of the biggest moguls in Canterlot. Such a title could REALLY spike up someone's ego...Gustave is known for making the most DELICIOUS eclairs in Equestria.

Garble: And Fleur De Lis, Fancy Pants says, is the fitting piece to the puzzle...one of the most sought-after models in Equestria. And...well...you can see why!

-Fleur De Lis begins posing for the crowd, and the men begin cheering and wolf-whistling at her-

Ahuizotl: Basically, they're all 3 full of themselves, hence the name "EGO."

Garble: Gustave also explained to me that EGO stands for the "Extraordinaire Gentlemen's Organization."

Ahuizotl: Holy crap I need a mustache...

*14 minutes later*

-Flash Sentry floors Fancy Pants with an atomic drop-

Garble: Looks like Flash is in control!

Ahuizotl: Look out, Sublime! You better be watching, because THIS is what you'll have to scout! The fast-paced offense of Flash Sentry, and the technical MASTERY of Shining Armor!

-Gustave runs into the ring, and knocks Shining off of the ropes, sending him crashing back-first into the barricade-

Ahuizotl: OH! Missile Dropkick by Flash takes down the intruding Gustave Le Grand!

-The referee begins to tend to Gustave, telling him he should've stayed out of the ring and all that referee stuck-

Ahuizotl: Flash is in control, even with his partner down! He's calling for Fancy Pants to awaken!

-Flash is blindsided by Fleur De Lis hitting him with one of her fur boots to the back of the head. Flash falls to the canvas-

Crowd: OHH! -Most begin to boo, but others cheer for Fleur's bravery-

Garble: AHAHAHA! And THAT folks, is why you have managers!

Ahuizotl: I can't argue with it. If the referee is too occupied to see it, the rulebook is thrown out the window.

-Fleur rolls out of the ring, and puts her boot back on before applying lip-gloss-

-Gustave rolls out of the ring, but quickly rolls back in, as Fancy Pants already has Flash Sentry in his grasp-

Ahuizotl: EGO...looking to finish the damage that Fleur De Lis started!

*Cream of the Crop!* (BECAUSE ECLAIRS LUL.)

-Gustave quickly exits the ring, as Fancy Pants hooks the leg-

1...2...3!

Garble: It's over! What a STATEMENT by EGO!

Announcer: Here are your winners, Fancy Pants, and Gustave Le GRAAANDDD...EEEGGGOOOOO!

-Gustave picks Flash up, and tosses him over the ring to land by his fallen partner-

-The crowd continues to boo, until Fleur De Lis grabs a microphone, then a good majority cheer. Until Fleur hands the mic to Fancy Pants, then...they boo again-

Garble: What a troll crowd...

-A small blue bumper pops up in the bottom left hand corner. It's a feed that tells you what is trending on Twitter that is EWF related. Trending now is: "#EWF", "#MidnightbeJelly", and "Scootaloo."-

Fancy Pants: Tonight...was only a small example of how EGO operates...

Gustave: And ze more we win...ze bigger ze EGO gets...

Fancy Pants: So, we cannot wish the teams over at Sublime "good luck"...we can only warn them...

Gustave: No matter how much you win, your weak and feeble confidence...will pale in comparison to ze EGO!

-The mic is grabbed by Fleur, and more cheers break out-

Small crowd chants: Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis!

-Fleur almost says something, but instead drops the mic, and cuts a pose instead. The crowd cheers even more-

-Fleur grabs the hands of her two clients, and raises them up into the air in victory-

Ahuizotl: EGO is poised to take home the gold, especially with the crafty Fleur De Lis as their manager...

Garble: And by the sounds of it, Fleur may be bringing more than just wins to EGO! Seems like they've got a bit of a cult following here in the Asylum!

Ahuizotl: I believe they are chanting for Fleur. Non-the-less, by the end of this month, EGO may not only have the momentum, and the gold, but if they showcase more of that skill we saw tonight, they could have the fans in the palms of their hands!

-Fancy waggles his eyebrows at the crowd, Gustave twirls his mustache, and Fleur winks at the crowd, adding in a few more poses-

Ahuizotl: Gustave just keeps teasing my longing heart with that damned MUSTACHE!

-There is a quick cut to the backstage area, where we see a split-screen of Scootaloo on one half of the screen, and Diamond Tiara with Silver Spoon and Turf on the other half.-

Garble: Earlier tonight, those 4 females made their presence felt. Scootaloo showed how fearless she is, and Diamond Tiara and company showed just how much they were willing to humiliate Scootaloo. Coming up next, Diamond Tiara will get that same chance once again...will she succeed? Or will Scootaloo embarrass HER with a loss? That match...is NEXT!

*Commercial*

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true... -Crowd boos-

Garble: And here she comes...the QUEEN of Lunacy...Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Once again, boy, she hasn't proven ANYTHING of the sort. If anything, SCOOTALOO is the queen over HER.

Garble: WHAT? No way! Scootaloo's a chump, and Diamond Tiara is going to prove it!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from Loneyville, weighing in at 127 pounds...DIIIIAAAMMMOONNDD...TIIIIARRAAA! And, she is accompanied to the ring, by Turf, and Silver Spoon!

Ahuizotl: These 3 young ladies are so full of themselves! They should join EGO!

Garble: Oh please. EGO wouldn't even be able to handle the H.B.I.C.'s!

-The trio do the Rump Bump on the ramp, and canter down to the ring in annoying fashion. Turf gets into an argument with one particularly UPSET female fan-

Garble: Pffttt...hater.

Turf: Jump over, bitch! I'll cut you! I ain't even scared of your ratchet ass!

Ahuizotl: Hostile environment here in the Asylum...-security hold the woman back, so she doesn't take Turf up on her offer. Turf laughs at her dismay-

-The three girls jump onto the ring apron, and taunt the fans before getting in the ring. Diamond Tiara balances herself on the ropes, as Silver Spoon and Turf are standing by her side, each holding one of her hands, and shooting their other free hand into the air-

Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky... -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is now or never for young Scootaloo! She said if she was going down, she will take Diamond Tiara and her cohorts down with her!

Garble: Yeeaaahhhhh...she won't. Diamond is ready for her, trust me. She's an AMAZING strategist, and with Turf and Silver Spoon in her corner, she has NOTHING to be afraid of!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville, weighing 134 pounds...SCOOOOTTAAAALLOOOOOOOO!

-Scootaloo slaps hands with the fans, before making a bee-line to the ring. She slides in, and immediately goes right after Diamond Tiara- -The crowd cheers even more at her enthusiasm-

Garble: HEY! That's not fair! She wasn't ready!

Ahuizotl: Guess that Dojo didn't teach her to always be light on your feet!

Garble: Of course it didn't! SHE ONLY LEARNED HOW TO KICK!

-Silver Spoon and Turf quickly get out of the ring, and pull Diamond Tiara away from the repeated stomps of Scootaloo. The crowd boos, and Scootaloo steps back-

Garble: Good. Now Diamond can actually prepare herself! Scootaloo never even gave her a chance!

Diamond: HOW DO I LOOK? ARE THERE ANY BLACK EYES? I SWEAR IF I HAVE ANY BLACK EYES!

-Scootaloo begins to run towards the ropes, the crowd goes "OOOOHHH" in building anticipation. The "OOOHHH" gets louder the closer Scootaloo gets to her destination-

Ahuizotl: I think Diamond Tiara has more to worry about than black -Scootaloo launches herself over the top rope- EYEEEESSSS!

-Scootaloo does a front-flip in mid-air, and takes out the three girls as she lands ontop of them-

Ahuizotl: SCOOTALOO! TAKING FLIGHT! WHAT A MANEUVER!

-Scootaloo quickly gets to her feet, and jumps onto the barricade in excitement. She riles up the fans. They explode with cheers over her athleticism, and in turn begin a chant of "Scootaloo!"-

Garble: -Worriedly- Get up, Diamond Tiara! Get up!

Match 3: Scootaloo vs Diamond Tiara

*11 minutes later*

Ahuizotl: What a MATCH we have going here, folks! Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara have been at each other throats the whole time!

Garble: Diamond Tiara NEEDS the upper hand, and she needs it NOW!

-Scootaloo connects with a right hand to Diamond Tiara, and the crowd goes "YAY!" Diamond connects with a punch of her own, and the crowd goes "BOO!" They do this same spot for a little bit, until Scootaloo skips the punches and goes for a straight enziguri. Diamond ducks it, and quickly applies her very own Bow and Arrow submission-

Garble: AHAHAHAHA! YES!

Ahuizotl: Diamond Tiara has applied the same hold Scootaloo had her in earlier in the night!

Garble: How do you like your own medicine, Scootaloo? TAP! TAP!

*6 minutes later*

-Scootaloo jumps off the top rope, but Diamond Tiara moves out of the way, and Scootaloo lands right on her feet-

Ahuizotl: Looks like Scootaloo may have tweaked something there...

-Diamond Tiara turns Scootaloo around, and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Scootaloo counters and tackles Diamond to the ground. She then locks in the Bow and Arrow-

Garble: Oh COME ON!

Ahuizotl: Look at Scootaloo cinch in that submission hold! Diamond's going to have to tap!

-Just when it looks like Diamond might tap, Silver Spoon runs into the ring, and drops another legdrop onto Scootaloo. The crowd immediately boos-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo was SO close!

-Turf follows suit into the ring, and she and Silver Spoon begin barraging Scootaloo with punches and stomps. Diamond Tiara has to use the ropes to get up, but she shoves the girls out of the way, and drags Scootaloo over to the turnbuckle, where she begins choking her with her knee-

Diamond: You think you're better than me?! DO YOU?! You're NOTHING!

-Scootaloo spits in Diamond's face, and the crowd goes "OOOHHH!"

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is sassy and defiant!

Garble: She's dumb more than anything. Diamond is FUMING!

-Diamond kicks Scootaloo in the head, causing her to hunch over. She grabs her by her hair, and drags her to the middle of the ring-

Diamond: FLAWWWLEESSSS! *DIAMOND CUTTER!*

-Turf gets on the ground, and grabs Scootaloo by her hair. She shows the world her face, and then slaps it down-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo...even in victory...still falls to Diamond Tiara...

Garble: Like I said...she's the QUEEN. You don't cross her!

-Diamond, Silver, and Turf spit on Scootaloo simultaneously, and stomp off to the back, leaving her motionless on the mat-

*Commercial*

*Backstage*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman I am here with two of the participants in tonight's world championship battle royal...Twilight Sparkle...and Rarity. Girls, tonight, you both have the chance to not only win your debut match, but to win the most coveted title here on Lunacy...you're ALSO friends, is that correct?

Twilight: That is correct, [REDACTED]. Me and Rarity have been through a lot together...

Rarity: We sure have, darling. But do not be mistaken! Jewelry is a ladies' BEST friend, and that title is the biggest piece of jewelry I've ever seen! -Stars dance in her eyes- Me and Twilight's friendship will last FOREVER...but I will NOT let this GOLDEN opportunity pass me buy!

Twilight: Nor will I. The villains have reigned supreme so far on Lunacy, but that will all change. The fans of Lunacy want something to cheer for? Then they don't have to look any further! I will be HONORED to represent them as champion, and I pledge to be the most honorable champion the EWF will ever see.

Rarity: I would expect no less from you, dear. -Extends her hand- Good luck!

-Twilight shakes it-

Twilight: Good luck to you, as well, Rarity. And good luck to YOU, fans! You have to overcome all the villains that are winning tonight! Down with Sunset! Let's go Cadance! -Twilight squees, and walks off pumping her fists-

Interviewer: She sounds full of herself...

Rarity: She sounds loopy...-snickers with the interviewer-

And now...it's all over now...

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL! Making her way to the ring, first...from Canterlot, weighing in at 143 pounds...SUNSEEETT...SHIIIMMEERRRRR!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer sure has let her ambitions be known tonight. She flirted with Shining Armor in an attempt to get into the head of Twilight Sparkle, but instead, she got Shining's girlfriend, Cadance's attention.

Garble: And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...Sunset can make up all the excuses she wants! Cadance KNOWS what happened backstage, and she'll be looking to make Sunset PAY for it.

[REDACTED] THEME

Announcer: And her opponent, from Crystalville...weighing in at 129 pounds...CADDDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

Garble: I'll tell ya...Shining Armor is one lucky guy. How did a loser like him get such a BABE like Cadance?

Ahuizotl: How did YOU get a job here?

Garble: Bought a contract off of Ebay.

Ahuizotl: -Shrugs- Makes sense...

-Sunset smirks at Cadance from her corner-

Match 4: Cadance vs Sunset Shimmer

*21 minutes later*

-Cadance clotheslines Sunset and herself over the top rope-

Garble: What a spill, out go both ladies!

Ahuizotl: And what a physical match it's been! Though, we can say that about EVERY match tonight, these two women have REALLY raised the bar!

-Sunset and Cadance begin brawling out by the barricade. Sunset cranes Cadance's neck, and thrusts her face into the barricade in a downward motion. The crowd goes "OOHHHH!"

Garble: Damn! Cadance's face splats against that barricade! There's STEEL underneath that padding!

-Sunset crawls back away from Cadance, and looks at the announce table-

Ahuizotl: What is she thinking?

-Sunset maliciously grins, gets back into the ring, and quickly rolls back out. She powerwalks over to the announce table, and begins to chuck the cover and monitors off-

Ahuizotl: She's getting up close and person with our headquarters!

Garble: -Excited- I like the sound of that!

Ahuizotl: Oh, you FILTHY boy, you!

-Sunset turns around to see Cadance running straight at her. She sidesteps her, and uses her own motion to toss her into the air, and through the table-

Garble: OH CRAP!

Ahuizotl: OUR TABLE IS IN PIECES, AND SO IS CADANCE!

-Sunset falls backward, as even she is in shock of the scene, but she quickly crawls into the ring-

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: I've got to agree with the crowd here! What STRENGTH by Sunset Shimmer!

Ref: 9...10! RING THE BELL! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is EMPHATICALLY OVER. Sunset Shimmer. DOMINATE.

Garble: Cadance. DEAD.

Announcer: Here is your winner...SUNSEETTTTT...SHIIIMMEERRRR!

-The ref tries to raise Sunset's hand, but she swats it away. She goes outside, picks up a chair, and begins to bash it over Cadance's prone back-

Ahuizotl: Oh now that's QUITE enough! You prove your point!

Garble: Throughout this match we saw just how VISCOUS Sunset Shimmer is...this is just the cherry on TOP of the devilish smoothie!

-Sunset unfolds the chair, and sits down on it. She uses Cadance's back as her footstool-

Garble: Wow...THAT's the ultimate act of embarrassment.

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer...a BIG win over Cadance, which is sure to carry over into the upcoming battle royal...but more importantly, will Cadance even be able to participate?

-Sunset folds her arms around her back, and closes her eyes as she continues to sit in the chair. A few fans are booing, but most are chanting "SUN-SET SHI-MMER!"

*Commercial*

-As we come back, we notice Horsepower is in a suit. He has a clipboard, and he's standing next to a velvet rope-

Ahuizotl: Well, we're back everybody and...what the hell is going on here?

Garble: It's a party! HAHA! Obviously YOU'RE not invited!

-The lights go dim, and some catchy pop/electronic music plays. A spotlight is shone on a pair of white boots with white tassels. The feet move down the ramp quick, and then move back up to the top of the ramp. As the music climaxes, the camera focuses on the face of Rumble, just as he takes off his sunglasses. He has a cell-phone in hand, and he has Flitter around one arm, and Cloudchaser on the other-

Ahuizotl: WOW. Rumble looks...impressive.

Garble: Oh yeah...and so do Flitter and Cloudchaser...YOWZA!

-Rumble begins to take selfies of himself as Flitter and Cloudchaser lead him down the ramp. They don't even have to stop as Horsepower unclips the velvet rope, and lets them through. Rumble departs from the girls, as he slides onto the apron, and poses in a side-way manner. He takes a bunch more selfies as Flitter claps, and Cloudchaser fans himself. Rumble gets into the ring, but doesn't open the ropes for the ladies, as he is too occupied taking selfies of himself, so they have to get in the ring without any help. Rumble takes even MORE selfies as Flitter retrieves a mic for him. Rumble happily takes the mic, and almost speaks, but he first takes more selfies. He hands his phone to Cloudchaser-

Rumble: Obviously you are all impressed...I...am Rumble...-he poses as Cloudchaser snaps some pictures of him- Small in size, but truly my greatest strengths come from...other sources...-He glances at Flitter. Flitter giggles, and locks lips with him for a moment- That big man over there, is Horsepower...MY HEAVY! He's going to keep the fuddy-duddies away, and let the REAL stars in...You could say "bouncer"...buutttt I wouldn't...he gets REALLLLLL mad-ANYWAY that's not important...what IIIISSS important...is ME. -He poses some more- I'm gorgeous, I'm photogenic, and I'm...-looks off into the distance- I'm gorgeous! I'm here to lay claim...to the title...Champion of Carnage-BLEH! -Flitter shakes her head- Yes, that name IS a bit tacky, but then again...haha...so is our general manager... -The crowd goes "OOOHHHH!"- I MUCH more prefer..."Champion Of GORGEOUS"! No matter WHAT you want to call it, though...I WANT IT...and, when you LOOK like I do...getting something...is MUCH much much easier...so I propose the question...who out there is worthy of stepping into the ring with the "Gorgeous One"? HMMMM? Well, if I'm being honest...I'd like to guess NOBODY, however...HOWEVER...I cannot be the champion of ANYTHING...well, besides "Gorgeous"-heh...if I have nobody to beat...so...who will walk the lonely road of loserdom, only to be bested by my superior essence of EVERYTHING? WHO? -Pause- EEEEXXAACCTTTLLYYYYY...everybody back there realizes that I'm just TOO hot to handle, so Luna...sweetie...it might be best to just GIVE me that title, because there's nobody in the back that wants to try their hand at-

All my life I've been searching for something...

Ahuizotl: Hey! Here we go!

-Overdrive comes out to the stage, mocking Rumble with some poses of his own. Rumble rolls his eyes in the ring. Overdrive stops at the velvet rope, as it is now closed-

Rumble: Hey, big man! For once in his life...he's on the list...-smirks-

-Horsepower complies, and opens the rope for Overdrive to pass. He gets in the ring, and grabs his own microphone-

Rumble: Okay...who are YOU?

Overdrive: I'm Overdrive...

Rumble: Okay...ehhhhh...you're...AVERAGE looking, at best...got some nice abs...good for you! But you aren't the total package like MOI!

Overdrive: I hate to burst your little reality bubble, but being a champion isn't about JUST looks...let's see if you can go in the ring, Rumble...-Overdrive flaps his hand towards himself-

Rumble: HA! You WISH it was that easy! You're cute with your little spontaneous gameplan. Didn't you hear a word I said? You have to EARN a title shot...and what better way to earn it...-he looks over Overdrive's shoulder-...then facing big Horsepower?

Overdrive: -Bites his lower lip- Should've known...all talk and no action...fine, though...I'll humor you, Fabio...

Rumble: Excellent...oh, Mr. Refereeeeee...come down here for a minute...-a referee runs down to the run and slides in- Oh...and Fabio has NOTHING on me! -Rumble leaves the ring with Flitter and Cloudchaser, as Horsepower rips off his suit and enters the ring with a menacing snort-

Garble: Oh, wonderful! We're being joined by Mr. Gorgeous himself, Rumble!

-Rumble sits down in the extra chair next to Ahuizotl. Flitter and Cloudchaser sit on his lap-

Rumble: Normally I wouldn't degrade myself by talking to...ugh...the commentators...but I have an immense fear of ring aprons, so that's a no-no...

Ahuizotl: Do you also have a fear of fighting? Because it seems you do.

Rumble: I will not even dignify such an un-gorgeous question with a gorgeous response. If this "Overdrive" fellow wants a title shot, he must EARN it. Simple as that.

Ahuizotl: And when will you EARN it, instead of naming yourself a contender?

Rumble: -Sigh- In due time, my dear lowly commentator...I shouldn't HAVE to...but I assume it's only FAIR...

*8 minutes later*

Garble: I do not mean to take the spotlight off of you, Mr. Rumble, but I must say...Flitter and Cloudchaser are BEAUTIFUL.

Rumble: Hmm, yes...that they are...-Cloudchaser begins to nibble on Rumble's ear- A gorgeous man ALWAYS surrounds himself with gorgeous women...-Flitter nuzzles at Rumble's neck-

Ahuizotl: Any chance we can get the girls' thoughts on their involvement in tonight's main event?

Rumble: They're a little bit...tied up at the moment...-Cloudchaser giggles in Rumble's ear- I will say this on their behalf...whether or not one of my two GORGEOUS valets win the championship, they still will get to look forward to ME becoming a champion in due time...

Garble: I cannot wait either, Mr. Rumble!

-Horsepower goes for a running body-block, but Overdrive counters with a scoop powerslam-

Garble: Oh! A counter out of nowhere by Overdrive!

Ref: 1...2...3! -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: He got him! Out of nowhere, Overdrive caught Horsepower, and pinned him!

Announcer: Here is your winner...OVVERRRDRRRIIVVVEEEE!

-Rumble pushes Flitter and Cloudchaser off of him in dissatisfaction-

Ahuizotl: Does THIS make Overdrive a worthy challenge for you, Rumble?

-Rumble throws down his headset, and marches into the ring. He turns Overdrive around, and gets floored by a clothesline from him-

Ahuizotl: Explosion by Overdrive! I'm sure Rumble wasn't expecting that!

-Rumble rolls out of the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rush over to check on him-

-Overdrive pumps up the crowd by leaping onto all 4 turnbuckles and raising his arms-

Garble: Overdrive got the upperhand THIS time, but Rumble will be back...even more GORGEOUS than ever!

Ahuizotl: Speaking of Gorgeous...coming up next...it's our MAIN EVENT. 20 GORGEOUS women will compete in the same ring, at the same time, to find out who will be the Women's Eternal Champion!

Garble: Yes! Flitter and Cloudchaser! Get to stay out! I can't wait!

*Commercial*

-Skip all entrances because they don't matter-

Announcer: This...is the MAIN EVENT...of the evening...a 20 woman battle royal, to determine the first EVVVERRR...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...CHAAAMMPPIOOONNN...

Main Event: 20 Woman Battle Royal: Women's Eternal World Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Lightning Dust vs Twilight Sparkle vs Rarity vs Flitter vs Cloudchaser vs Diamond Tiara vs Scootaloo vs Turf vs Silver Spoon vs Midnight Strike vs Lyra vs Bon Bon vs Cadance w/ Shining Armor vs Fleur De Lis vs Colgate vs Twist vs Honeycomb vs Sparkler vs Berry Punch

Garble: Most of these women you haven't gotten to met yet until now, but over the course of this show, you will learn what they are about, for sure!

-Twist begins to twerk in front of everybody, so they all throws her out in disgust-

Ahuizotl: That's an elimination for all mankind!

Elimination 1: Twist by Everybody else

Elimination 2: Berry Punch by Sunset Shimmer

Garble: There goes the roster's drunk!

-Fleur De Lis continues to pose instead of attack anybody until she gets grabbed and dumped out by Rarity- -Some of the crowd boos-

Garble: I agree! BOO!

Elimination 3: Fleur De Lis by Rarity

Elimination 4: Colgate by Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust

Ahuizotl: Nice teamwork by the fearsome duo, and the part-time dentist is out!

Garble: She can give me ORAL ANY DAY...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhh...I don't think it works like that...

Elimination 5: Sparkler by Cadance

Ahuizotl: What heart by Cadance! She was mercilessly attacked by Sunset Shimmer earlier, but she keeps showing us what she's got!

Garble: A championship will do the to you...

Elimination 6: Bon Bon by Turf

Ahuizotl: There goes Lyra's teammate!

Lyra: -Cry- I will avenge you, Bon Bon! -She turns around, and begins pummeling Turf with headbutts. Silver Spoon tries to intervene, but Lyra hip-tosses her out of the ring-

Garble: Oh! And DT's leverage on this match just want down a little! I still believe in her, but truthfully, the more allies she has in there, the better a chance she has of winning.

Ahuizotl: It is STILL every woman for herself, anyway.

Garble: I know! But it's nice to have an insurance policy or two.

Elimination 7: Silver Spoon by Lyra

-As Lyra high fives Bon Bon outside the ring, Diamond Tiara sneaks up behind her and pushes her out-

Garble: Yes! There ya go, DT! Rack up those outties!

Elimination 8: Lyra by Diamond Tiara

-Scootaloo flies off the top rope, but Sunset catches her-

Garble: Once again, the strength of Sunset Shimmer is on display!

-Scootaloo reverses, and guides Sunset over to the ropes while she is in powerbomb position. She bends over backwards, grabs the ropes, and flips Sunset over onto the apron-

Ahuizotl: Sunset's hanging on!

-Scootaloo rolls back into the ring, runs off the ropes, and dropkicks Sunset. Sunset flies off of the apron, but is caught by Shining Armor before she falls to the floor. The crowd goes "OOOOHHH!" at the drama-

Garble: Ahaha! Looks like Sunset's got a knight in SHINING ARMOR! AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA!

Ahuizotl: Go home.

-Shining Armor blushes, as Sunset looks up at him and kisses him on the cheek. Cadance notices that, and walks over to the scene-

Cadance: What are you doing, Shining?! PUT HER DOWN! SHE'S JUST USING YOU! SNAP OUT OF I-

-Lightning Dust sneaks up behind Cadance and dumps her out-

Ahuizotl: And Lightning Dust takes advantage! How opportunistic!

-Lightning Dust cackles-

-Sunset leaps out of Shining's arms, jumps on the fallen Cadance, jumps on the ring apron, and enters it once again-

Garble: SPEAKING of opportunistic! What agility by Sunset Shimmer!

Ahuizotl: She HAS to be the favorite to win this, so far!

-Shining Armor is checking on his girlfriend, when all of a sudden, Snips and Snails attack him from behind-

Garble: The hell? SNIPS AND SNAILS!? They're attacking Shining Armor!

-Snips Irish whips Shining into the steel steps, toppling them over in the process-

Ahuizotl: Why are they doing this?!

Snails picks up the steel steps, as Snips lays Shining's head against the ringpost. Snails rears back, and POUNDS the steps against Shining's head. Shining falls to the floor, his head busted wide open. Flash Sentry comes running down to fend off the attackers, but Snips and Snails have already jumped over the barricade, and are making their way through the crowd-

Ahuizotl: It happened so fast...why? I...I don't understand...

Garble: I believe that's the point...we're not SUPPOSED to understand...

Elimination 9: Cadance by Lightning Dust

-Scootaloo comes off the top, and double dropkicks both Flitter and Cloudchaser. The two get up, and are both eliminated by a double clothesline from Honeycomb-

Garble: Awww! Sadface...

Ahuizotl: Honeycomb is the wildcard in this match. We don't really know much about her, except she is a former beautician.

Garble: She has just as good a chance as anybody else in that ring, no matter the profession. I'm pulling for Diamond Tiara, though!

Eliminations 10 and 11: Flitter and Cloudchaser by Honeycomb

-Honeycomb spots Turf and Twilight in the same position Flitter and Cloudchaser were in. She goes to double clothesline them, as well, but Turf and Twilight vault her over the top rope-

Garble: Oh...that's too bad.

Ahuizotl: Don't be such a sour-puss...she put up a great effort!

Garble: Better luck next time!

Elimination 12: Honeycomb by Twilight and Turf

-Everybody stops fighting, and looks around. The 4 heels, Sunset Shimmer, Lightning Dust, Diamond Tiara, and Turf line up on one side of the ring, as the 4 faces, Rarity, Twilight, Scootaloo and Midnight Strike line up on the other side.

-The crowd is pumped, and begins going wild-

Garble: It's an old fashioned stare-down, but with the HOTTEST cowboys I've ever seen! They're ALL big enough for MY town!

Ahuizotl: You never stop...do you, boy?

-Twilight goes after Sunset, Lightning goes after Rarity, Scootaloo goes after Diamond, and Turf goes after Midnight-

Ahuizotl: Everything's breaking down!

*7 minutes later*

-Turf and Diamond Tiara are setting up for a double DDT on Twilight by the ropes. Twilight counters and vaults them both over the top rope. Turf falls, but Diamond hangs on-

Ahuizotl: Turf is out! Diamond has no one left to turn to!

Garble: Hang in there, Diamond! You can do it!

Elimination 13: Turf by Twilight Sparkle

-Lightning Dust comes running at Diamond, looking to spear her to the floor. Diamond leaps in the air, and Lightning Dust falls through the ropes, and down to the floor-

Garble: Yes! Diamond hangs on!

-Scootaloo comes running at Twilight, and Twilight tries to vault her over the top, but Scootaloo moves herself in midair and hooks Diamond Tiara's neck. She brings her neck all the way down to the ropes, which causes Diamond to slink down to the floor-

Ahuizotl: WOW! Scootaloo changed her trajectory in MIDAIR, and was able to eliminate your pick, Garble, with a rope-assisted DDT!

Garble: I gotta admit...little Scoots' has spunk...that was an UNBELIEVABLE maneuver!

-Doctors come to check on Diamond Tiara, as she is coughing up blood-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...looks like Diamond Tiara is losing more than that championship here tonight...

Garble: She's losing blood, too...I hope she's okay...

Ahuizotl: We MUST get back to the match, though. It is TOP priority.

Elimination 14: Diamond Tiara by Scootaloo

-Midnight picks up Rarity, and goes to Oklahoma Slam her to the floor, but Rarity counters with elbows to the back of the head. Midnight then chops the hell out of Rarity-

Garble: Midnight is a RUTHLESS individual! Like we said before, she's here to break skulls, and she may have just broken Rarity's cleavage flesh!

-Rarity catches one of Midnight's chops, and tosses her onto the apron. She takes her arm and rams it down onto the rope, causing Midnight to fall in pain.

Ahuizotl: All of that determination will pay off for Midnight ONE DAY...just not today...

Elimination 15: Midnight by Rarity

-Rarity and Twilight meet in the middle to shake hands one last time. When Twilight shakes, Rarity grabs her arm and Irish whips her into the corner. She stands on the middle rope, and begins to rain down punches onto her-

Crowd: 123456789-

-Sunset Shimmer sneaks up and simply shoves Rarity off of Twilight, and out to the floor-

Garble: Rarity was playing to the crowd, and it cost her!

Ahuizotl: She DID almost have Twilight eliminated, though.

Garble: Yeah, well she took too long.

Elimination 16: Rarity by Sunset Shimmer

-Scootaloo, Sunset and Twilight meet in the middle of the ring, and stare each other down-

Ahuizotl: The final 3...

Garble: Don't trust Twilight, Scootaloo!

Ahuizotl: Don't trust ANYBODY, ANYBODY.

-Scootaloo and Sunset look at one another, and smirk. They give a simple nod, and back Twilight into a corner-

Garble: Nice! She took my advice! Great strategy! Eliminate the fraud, and then leave it all on the line...

-As they are about to pounce on Twilight, Scootaloo dropkicks Sunset from the side, and sends her over the top rope, hanging on by a thread-

Ahuizotl: I can't believe it! Scootaloo has outsmarted Sunset Shimmer!

Garble: Not sure how smart this is! Sunaloo could've been an UNSTOPPABLE team!

-Now trending on Twitter: "#BattleRoyal", "Rumble", and "#AhuizotlsGay"-

Ahuizotl: STOP THAT!

-Scootaloo and Twilight lock hands, and uses them to clothesline Sunset down to the floor- -Some of the crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Finally! Sunset Shimmer...has been ELIMINATED!

Garble: We are down to two!

Elimination 17: Sunset Shimmer by Twilight and Scootaloo

*4 minutes later*

-Scootaloo is up top, when Twilight catches her with a jumping enziguri. She climbs up to the top with her, and grabs a handful of her tights-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...these two are in a precarious position!

-Suddenly, Lightning Dust runs back into the ring-

Garble: Oh my God! L-lightning Dust! She was never eliminated!

-Lightning shoves Twilight, which causes her to fall over Scootaloo's head, and since she still has her tights grabbed, she brings her down to the floor anyway as the superplex is complete-

-The crowd is split. Half cheer, and half boo as the bell rings-

Ahuizotl: SHE DID IT! LIGHTNING DUST DID IT! SHE SLIPPED IN THROUGH THE CRACKS, AND TURNED THAT CRACK INTO A GAPING HOLE!

Announcer: Here is your winner...and the NEEEEEWWWWWW...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...WORLD CHAAAMMPPIOOONN...LIIIIGGHHTTTNNIINNGGG DUUUSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Garble: The. First. EVER Women's Eternal World Champion! Lightning Dust pondered her time, she waited it out, and when the moment was right, she came in and PUNCHED HER TICKET...INTO HISTORY!

-Princess Luna comes out with a black satchel-

Garble: And here comes Princess Luna, in what we can only assume is the championship coronation...of Lightning Dust...

-Luna enters the ring, unzips the satchel, and reveals the Women's Eternal World Championship. At this point, Lightning Dust is on her knees, begging for the title. Luna asks her to stand up, and she does. Luna goes behind her, and puts the title around Lightning Dust's waist. Confetti begins to fall from the ceiling-

Garble: What a celebration for our new champion! Our UNEXPECTED...WORLD CHAMPION!

Ahuizotl: This entire NIGHT was unexpected...you never knew WHAT was going to happen! I can only HOPE it is like this EVERY week from here on out...I am Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble. We leave you, with the lasting image, of YOUR world champion...LIGHTNING DUST...

-Lightning Dust gets onto the top turnbuckle, and points at her waist-

Lightning: YEEEAAAAH-HAHAHAHAAAAA! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

-The show ends with one final image of Lightning Dust removing the title from her waist, and holding it high and proud in the air, as confetti continues to fall, and fireworks begin to go off...-

Quick Results:

Twist defeated Midnight Strike via Disqualification (Jelly)
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants) defeated The BroMans (Flash Sentry and Shining Armor)
Scootaloo defeated Diamond Tiara via Disqualification (Outside Interference)
Sunset Shimmer defeated Cadance via Countout
Overdrive defeated Horsepower
Lightning Dust won Battle Royal