I wake up as the bright rays of the Sun assault my sensitive eyelids.

"FUCK YOU CELESTIA, FFS SUCK MY COCK"

Sitting up, I realize I'm in my bedroom. Rainbow Dash is peacefully sleeping on the bed, still cuddled against me. Her mane and face are both intact, and she has a small bandage around her left wing. What the hell is going on?

Seeing a scroll on my nightstand, I pick it up and unfurl it. Oh, great. The royal seal, and... Luna's latest signature.

'Nightmare Moon, beware the mare in black, Nightmare Moon, you know she's coming back.'

Man, having my MP3 player with the entire Judas Priest discography on it when I woke up in Equestria was possibly the single best thing that could have happened.

I unfurl the scroll fully and start reading.

'Dear human, we know thou do not like being referred to by thy name, so we will be referring to thee as 'human'. We believe we have managed to fix up Rainbow Dash, her wounds should be gone by the time thou read this. Make sure she does not fly and gets a lot of rest for about a day, our sister had to cast a powerful spell in order to heal a broken bone in such a short period of time. Thy head and back will be sore for a while, we cannot do anything about that. We fixed thy hand, though. As we said, thou are not immune to our magic, and we thought sending thee home would be the best thing to do. We hope things get better for thee, and we wish thee the best of luck with the Element of Loyalty. May the Night guide thy heart. Thy Princess, Luna.'

Well, ain't that some formal ass shit. But all's well that ends well, right? I close my curtains and slump over on my bed, once again cuddling Rainbow Dash in her sleep.
Feels. Fucking. GOOD. Man.

About an hour later, she opens an eye. "Uh... Where am I? What... what happened?"

She sees me and starts freaking out. "ARGH! GET OFF ME! YOU RAPIST, PERVERTED MONKEY FAGGOT, GET OFF!"

Uh, what now? I grab her leg to try and keep her from attempting to fly away. She's flailing wildly and hits me in the face with a back hoof.

Ugh. Motherfucker.
Blood on my damn pillow now? She calms down a bit upon seeing what she just did, and I seize that opportunity to open my mouth.

"Can you calm the fuck down for a minute and let me explain?"

She stops moving and doesn't say anything, but she still looks ready to punch my shit.

"First of all, you have a broken wing. Had, actually, since-"

"WHAT?" she starts freaking out even more, as I struggle to keep her down.

"LISTEN TO ME, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! We got... I. I got into a serious fight last night. We both got hurt, you apparently broke a wing, somehow. We were completely wasted and I don't remember much, but Princess Luna found us both unconscious and brought us back to her quarters, healing us the best she could. She got Celestia to fix your wing, but you're gonna have to walk for a day or two, until the healing spell is fully done doing its job. Now I'm gonna disregard the fact you nearly just broke my nose, mostly because I got your face and mane burnt last night because of some ninja shit I tried to pull off... though Luna fixed that as well."

She relaxes and I let go of her. Rubbing her a head with a hoof, she sighs heavily. "Urgh... my head... and you're talking so much nonsense, it's not helping! What happened yesterday? I remember... fire."

"Yeah, there was quite a lot of fire."

"I remember you saying strange things..."

"Implying there are times I do NOT say strange things..."

"No, it was something... uh, something like, the sides of the righteous man of the selfish tyrans who lost their children while finding your poisoned brothers in the name of charity with furious vengeance and laying your name through the valley of darkness upon the lord... or something?"

Unable to contain it, I burst out laughing and she frowns at me. "Yeah no, I was just quoting something... human shit, you won't get it. Nothing interesting anyway. Plus, I was drunk, remember?"

"Uh, alright... And then what happened? Princess Luna sent us back into your room? Why me, and why your room? What did you... do to me?"

"What the hell do you think I did? I was passed out, much like you. I woke up in the morning, tried to comprehend what the fuck had happened, saw Luna's letter, closed the curtains and cuddled the shit out of you until you decided to wake up and kicked me in the face.

Her face displays a strange expression. "Cuddling? Why? That's... that's lame!"

"Cuddling, lame? You for real? Did you even ever have a decent cuddle?"

"Uh, yeah? I mean... uh... I don't know?"

"That means no. Come here."

"Where?"

"Damn it, just come her. Get closer to me."

"Alright, but you better keep your filthy monkey hands off-"

I don't let her finish as my soft and dexterous hands slowly dig into her flanks, massaging her lower back. The feeling seems to leave her paralyzed as she lets out a small moan and pressed her head against my chest. I give her the most sensual massage-cuddle kind of thing I can possibly pull off, and listen to her sporadic moaning and soft breathing... And honestly, it's the most beautiful and soothing thing I have ever felt and heard.

She tries to wrap a hoof around me, but I'm way too wide for this shit, nonetheless I grab it with a hand and softly stroke it. Her eyes are closed, and she's leaning into my every touch, occasionally sighing in satisfaction. The few rays of sunlight that weren't filtered by the curtains shine upon her rainbow mane, reflecting prism light and illuminatig the whole room.

"See Dash, that's actual cuddling. Is it still as lame as you thought?"

She seems to think about it, and takes a while before responding. "Yes. Without a kiss, it's still a bit lame."

...is she for real?
I slowly bring a hand to her face and softly brush it against her cheek. Eyelids half closed, she brings her mouth closer to mine. I close the distance and press my lips against hers. Unlike with Luna, this time it's a real kis... I feel her lips brushing against mine, as she tries to gently suckle on my lower lip. I slowly open my mouth, and stick the tip of my tongue out, playfully tickling her upper lip. Going with the flow, she opens her mouth too, allowing me access. Our tongues play together as she runs a hoof across my arm, while I tenderly stroke her mane.

This is the most amazing kiss I ever had, by a very long shot.
It's soft, tender, sensual, with just the right amount of sloppiness, and more emotions than just about anything I ever felt.
It feels good. It feels RIGHT.

We break up after several minutes, panting, a small strand of saliva connecting our mouths.

"You damn... ape... that was amazing..."

Giving her a peck on the nose, I chuckle and gently caress her wounded wing. "You weren't half bad yourself."

"Sh-shut up, idiot..."

Wrapping her in my arms, I press against my chest and let out a long sigh of relief and happiness. We stay like that for a while, doing nothing but enjoying each other's presence and body warmth, when she breaks up the silence.

"Say..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you... you know?"

"Hm?"

"Stupid... you stupid... humph. Do you love me?"

Wow... that's actually a pretty fucking serious question. Many things have happened these past twenty-four hours, and a lot of things dawned on me... but do I actually LOVE her? Do I even know what love feels like?
How would I know if I loved someone?
Somepony?

How would anyone react if they knew I was romantically and sexually attracted by a pony? That's not something I should even think about, seeing as I'm probably never gonna see another human ever again.
Maybe things are actually better in Equestria...

"I... I don't know, Dashie. I don't think I ever felt love, so I wouldn't know what it feels like, but... I feel something for you. Something I never felt before. Something that turned me into absolute monster at the sight of you being in danger. Call it what you want... I'm pretty sure Gilda was wrong, it's not sexual tension."

"I don't know... maybe it is part of it, too? I feel something too, but while it could be love, it could also be that I want you and your monkey hands to do more things to me." she says with a grin, giving me a playful lick on the cheek.

"Well, at least you proved me wrong. You're not a complete dyke."

She wingslaps me, suddenly screaming as a sharp pain shoots back through her still fragilized bones.
Yeah... whatever happened last night didn't change her in the slightest. She's still the good old, stupid reckless bitch I slowly fell in love with throughout the past month.

Fin...

Or not?

You decide.

---

A/N: Stalking his victims, don't look behind you... NIGHT CRAWLER.
I don't know if I should continue this. I don't see where it could go without unnecessary drama or a pointless tragedy... I might just make another story like that, with another pony instead of Rainbow. You guys decide.
But since no one reviews and hardly anyone reads, in the end I'll decide.

Feel my power.