Ah! Nothing like spinning a tale of wonder and awesome,

Sorry it's been a while, lots of stuff to do you know, school, actives, and laziness (Sorry!).

Anyway back to our tale,

Some new stories might be coming out soon.

As I walked down the long marble hallways of the castle while being "escorted" by several guards, the architectural genius was beginning to appeal to me. Seriously how did they build this castle on the side of a mountain without any form of tools? I mean no cranes or some substance to hold it all together. I quickly pushed that question to the back corner of my mind as we turned to the left and saw a set of two large marble doors, which had a large chest engraved onto the center.

"Here we are…..the treasury" Said one equine in a dull unappealing tone.

"Oh cheer up my friend," I told it, "Don't sound so dull, you're ruining the tour of this grand palace, who knows maybe someday your parents will want you to come home."

"Grrrr" I smiled, the more I got him angry, the more easily I could provoke him into destroying the pink equines plan. I kept lugging the captain over my shoulder, and boy did he need to lay off the hay for a while. I waited as two of the guards opened the doors, and with it came a blinding light slowly making its way through the ever widening gap between the doors. I quickly shielded my eyes from the soul piercing light. As the brightness dimed down, I removed my hands from my face and looked in awe.

This place probably had more money in gold and jewels than the raid of the Spanish ship the Cacafuego, over $20,000,000 in gold from that run.

I stood there, speechless, eyes the size of dinner plates for no less than five seconds before I threw the still unconscious captain of the guard on the ground and shouted, "YA HOOOOO!" as I jumped into the room, literally swimming in gold. I quickly pulled out a large bag that would even shame the inventory size of Link; filling it with a ton of gold and the largest gemstones I could find. All in less than twenty minutes, I estimated about five million dollars worth of gold and jewels in my small bag alone. Once the bag was full, I jumped out of the room with my bag like it was a single pound weight, perks of my satyr abilities.

"All righty boys onto the next chamber." I called to the equine, "And you Mr. Grumpy, would it kill ya to crack a smile?" I cracked the same guard form before.

"Why I ought a…!" He shouted while two other guards held him back, flailing his fists in anger. And so we continued onward, I was still mesmerized by the structure itself like I was a child in a candy store. As we moved along the halls, I saw different equine wearing what seem to be maid and butler outfits watch us from afar. I turned to a few smiled at them, then barked at them. I mean….like a dog; I did need to keep up the whole "I'm a psychotic demon creature truly bent on killing and pillaging" act.

We walked the halls for maybe 3 more hours before we arrived in a hall full of beautiful stain glass portraits on the sides, and at the end; a set of two double doors covered in gemstones and stunning art work, the guards stood near the entrance to the hall. As I neared the door it was finally time to put my plan into action, I abruptly stopped by the door spun around on my heel and paused as I faced the guards, cracking a smile as wide as the Jokers.

"Ok numb nuts how stupid do you think I am?"

"What?" shouted the nicknamed "Mr. Grumpy" and some others,

"Well obviously you think I am dumber than you, thinking I would just waltz in here with no problem, then you could get me, well you were wrong," I cackled after this remark, "And I have a question for you Mr. Grumpy, did your mother put you in here because she never wanted a son or was it because your father hated you for being such a low tempered imbecile?" That pushed the last of the horses' metaphorical buttons; he gritted his teeth and made a sound that was supposed to be his battle cry. While charging at me with his spear pointed straight at me, screamed to the rest of the battalion, "ATTACK!"

A few of the unicorn's wearing wizard cloaks began to surround their horns in an aura of a different color for each of them. Not even a second after, I was surrounded by auras of multiple colors. I raised an eyebrow wondering what this was; I began to move my hands to my staff on my back with no problem at all still wondering what they were doing. As I pulled my staff out from the captain on my shoulders, the magi (seeing as they had cast a spell of some kind and dawned cloaks, I guessed they were mages) had their mouths open in awe due to me disregarding whatever they were trying to do to me.

As the angered equine began to get closer, I let out a sigh and took a stance looking like I was about to attack with my staff even though I had a different agenda. As he came within range, I swung the captain around my neck and struck the guard in the face with a roundhouse kick from his own captain. Knocking the horse out, cold. This is where the fun began. The magi recovered from their shock and began summoning fireballs on their horns; while they were preparing the spells the other guards began charging at me with swords and spears, all pointing at me.

I began to spin my staff in my hands, faster and faster it went, so fast it could possibly rival that of the speed of General Grievous spinning his lightsabers. First the volley of fireballs, each was being launched approximately one point five seconds after the other. I just shook my head and smiled, watching as their fireballs just hit my staff and flew off in random directions; I had learned that once a pole or slender object reaches a high enough speed it can overpower trails of fire or fireballs in this instance. I leaned this during my few years with my sensei in the Himalayas learning it in one of the hardest ways possible, let's just say it took some time to heal from all the burns.

After the volley, melee guards were coming closer and I was ready to show my power. As a guard with a broadsword charged at me, I hit his blade to the ground with one end while the other end came around and knocked him hard on the back of the skull.

"Not much of a John Brown with the broadsword, now are ya?" I quipped to myself; taking down these guards would take no effort, so some energy could be wasted on a few witty lines.

As this guard went down I used the leverage I gained from my first attack, I flung myself feet first at a guard with a spear hitting him hard in the head, causing something to crack in his face. Two down, thirteen to go. Three smart guards decided to charge me all at once, spears level with my chest they stabbed and…they hit nothing. I jumped up as they stabbed and landed on the edge of their spears. I swung my staff from left to right, smacking them all in the face dealing some damage and possibly knocking them out.

The last ten guards consisted of 5 magi and 5 Pegasus archers. They all shot at the same time, but to no avail as I simply fell to the ground dogging their attacks. Swiftly I moved making sure they had little time to react. They each fired off at different times, out of fear, hoping to make their mark. Again to no avail, I did a serpentine maneuver and dogged with ease. I closed in on the line of magi; they put up a shield to defend themselves and the archers. I hit the shield and slid backwards a short distance. "D mn, how am I suppose to get past this?" I thought as I began to look around me. There was no way that I could see to get past. My thinking gave the archers enough time to pull back on their bows and fire off another volley. I luckily dogged the arrows with a little move called "The Matrix".

I kept thinking and thinking on how to get through as I dogged arrow after arrow. Then, my mind came upon and old cartoon I use to watch…Teen Titans. "Wait! If this shield is made of magic, and if magic works like in the show…all I need to do is break their focus, thank you brain for remembering random facts that save me from these dilemmas!" Now I just needed a way to do this, something loud and blinding. A light bulb appeared over my head, lit up, and then proceeded to fell on my head. "Bullocks! Curse you fourth wall!" Still, I had an idea, though it would waste some of my equipment from home.

It didn't matter now; all I needed was a way to take them out. I proceeded to pull out a slender yet rough tube, resembling a small pipe, from a specialized container on the back of my waist. I pulled the pin and rolled it right up to the shield, and hitting it lightly as I turned around closed my eyes and covered my ears. And, next came silence after a loud bang. My eyes shot open, as I spun around on my heel and ran. The magi and archers became temporarily deaf and blinded by my flash bang. I quickly ran up and smashed my staff into five of the magi's faces and four of the archer's wings and faces.

One of them quickly shook off the loss of hearing and sight, and retaliated as I came close. The archer somehow grabbed my staff with its hooves as it became a power struggle. The equine put up a fight, even though it lasted for half a minute before I smashed my fist into his face, knocking him out. I jogged down to the chamber door of the room I wished to enter, and found that the key hole was a single hole for the horn of a unicorn. I began placing charges on each of the doors and ran back about ten feet, and blew the charges.

I shielded myself as the doors protected by magic, couldn't handle a few well placed charges. I needed to move fast, no doubt that the explosion would attract some…"unwanted attention". I ran in a looked around, the captain dangling around my neck as I did so. As the dust settled, I saw….nothing. This was not good, my contractor had told me that the objects of interest would be here. Seeing as I couldn't find the objects here, I decided to ask some of my "new friends".

I sprinted up to the first magi I knocked out and shoved up against the wall,

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" I screamed in a demonic tone,

"*Cough!* Why the buck should I tell you?" The Magi Spat at me,

"I'm glad you asked." I pulled out my knife and shoved it right into one of its front limbs, causing blood to shoot out and down its arm.

"ARRGHHHHHHH!"

"You gonna talk, or I could make you"

"PISS OFF" it put a lot of emphasis in its voice on this.

"Hush little one don't say a word," I began to sing as I removed my knife from its limb and switched hands, for which one was holding it and which one was holding the knife.

"W-what are y-you…..?" it didn't finish before I plunged my knife into the other front limb and smiled as it screamed again, "BUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!"

"Papas gonna get you a mocking bird," I twisted my knife as I removed it from its flesh, tears began to appear in its eyes as I raised my knife and thrusted it into one of its hind leg.

"W-why are you doing this?!" it screamed as it cried.

"And if that mocking bir….." I never even needed to finish before it screamed out,

"HAVE MERCY, PLEASE STOP! FINE I'LL TALK!"

"Good! Now…where are they?" I demanded, I didn't have much time so it needed to answer quickly.

"They're in the town of Ponyville, about 100.5 miles due south from here, just follow the rail road!"

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I told him right before elbowing it in the face. I dropped the body like a ragdoll, and looked around. I needed a fast exit, something easy to get through and would be easily the path of least resistance. As I looked, I found my exit. It was a stained glass window that looked out over the city. I took my staff and shattered the glass, letting me see that it was quite the drop.

While looking over, I heard hooves and not just a few hooves, possibly enough that would belong to an army of about 300. I had no choice, I looked back to see the face of a guard shocked at what I had done and what I was about to do. I smiled, waved and jumped.

…..

My job was not particularly hard, quite easy for most ponies' standards; all I had to do was to repair the gate. Seeing as not many critters or foes of Celestia existed anymore, my job was easy…..until tonight. Some strange creature had blown off part of the gate and ran into the city, that didn't really matter to me seeing as I would actually have to WORK for once. It was a slow process, but I did eventually finish patching up the hole that thing made, just in the last ten minutes I would add.

But as I was about to rest, something fell out of the sky and created a crater of stone nearly a hundred feet from the gate. And then proceeded to run, jump and break all my hard work. I flew up to look through the hole and saw a trail of dust coming off the creature as it ran.

Why does the world hate me?

Well? What do you think, give me your feedback and your thoughts!

I have now decided, within the last five minutes of making this chapter, that I will now accept not one...Not two…but three OC Submissions!

I got the idea from one of my early reviewers, who wanted to give me and OC,

Here are the rolls that can be filled….

Business partner for Alex, Hitman jobs.

Biasness partner for Alex, Legitimate job

Hunter specifically for Alex due to his crimes

And 4. A Timber Wolf companion for Alex

I will need a full detail of race, size, color of eyes, mane, and skin, natural talent (Pony only of course)/cutie mark, back-story, and how they meet Alex/ why they want to join him.

Thank you for reading, reviewing and ideas.

So remember: Keep Calm and Kill Grif

And

If it took more than one shot, your weren't using a Jakobs!