Discord enjoyed his breakfast of cereal and milk as he watched Princess Celestia raise the Sun. These past few months, he's learned to enjoy things such as the sunrise, as Princess Celestia was no longer his immortal enemy. He watched as the sky turned a pinkish color, and the bright orange ball of gas was lifted into the air to start the day.

Fluttershy crept up behind him, ever so quietly, and covered his eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Uh...is she yellow?"

"Yes."

"Is she a Pegasus?"

"Yes."

"Is she the most beautiful pony in the world?"

"Hehe, well, I don't know about that."

"Well, then, I'm not sure..."

"Okay, okay, yes...to you, at least."

"Is it Fluttershy?"

"Yes."

They embraced each other, accompanied by a passionate smooch.

"Morning, honey," greeted Discord warmly.

"Have a good sleep, honeysuckle?"

"Well, on the contrary, none of us really did much sleeping."

"True, true."

The draconequs sipped some more of the milk from his cereal bowl.

"Well...I'm meeting the girls today at Rarity's boutique."

"Okay. Have fun."

"I'm not asking for much, just make sure the house doesn't burn down. Okay?"

"Fluttershy, I can assure you that nothing will happen to this house or your animals."

As he bowed, Fluttershy gently kissed him on the forehead, being careful to avoid his antlers.

"Hey...you're always out with your friends...Why can't I have friends?"

"What do you mean, my love?"

"I mean that I need to get some guy friends, just like you have your girl ones."

"That's fine with me, Discord. I know you're kind of lonely, and you can never have enough friends."

"The problem is, where can I find the predominant males in Equestria, seek them out, and somehow get them to be acquaintances with me?"

"Hmm...I know somepony you can be friends with."

"Really? Who?"

"I'll give you a hint: His initials are B.M."

"Hehehe. B.M. Is it...uh...British Motors?"

"It's Big Macintosh, silly."

"Oh, yes, Macintosh. He's big and strong. He could be my tough guy friend."

"I'm glad we did what we did last night, sugarplum."

"Last night? Ohh, last night was the best! I am honored to have you as my first, Fluttershy."

"Likewise, honeysuckle."

On her way out the door, Fluttershy noticed Angel shivering on the couch and sipping some coffee.

"Angel?...Oh, Angel Bunny, you look terrible."

He quickly scooted away from her.

"What's wrong?"

His eyes were filled with terror as he looked at the one pony he used to trust.

"I'll see what's eating him. You just go meet with your friends, dear."

"Are you sure you can figure it out, Discord?"

"I'm sure. Just go and have fun."

"Um...see you later."

He gently closed the door beside her and sat down next to Angel. Seeing him didn't make the bunny feel any better because he performed the act with his owner.

"So...Want to be my first guy friend?"

He hurled his cup of coffee at the tall goat-lion-thingy. He was lucky enough to avoid it with his long neck. Angel quickly scampered away outside.

"Apparently not."

He reformed the coffee cup with his magic and even put the spilled coffee back in it. He looked both ways, then took a sip.

"Mmm, regular joe."

Out in the fields, Big Mac was plowing when he heard a strange noise coming from the Everfree Forest.

"Huh? Who's there?"

Discord poofed in front of him in a ball of fire.

"AAAAAAH! DISCORD!"

"Oh, no, it's quite alright, Macintosh. I mean you no harm."

"P-p-p-please don't eat me, Mr. Discord! Ah-ah got a family to take care of!"

"It's okay-"

"Ah mean, ah don't taste like apples...i-if that's what you're wondering. Ah just farm 'em!"

"It's okay!"

"Just please don't eat me alive! I'm beggin' ya'!"

"IT'S OKAY!"

He shivered on the ground with fear. Discord himself was surprised that he could make Big Macintosh, stallion of all stallions, act like Fluttershy.

"Uh...everything's fine. I promise, I'm not going to harm you in any way. I've changed."

"Why...why are ya' here, then?"

"Well, since my successful reformation, it turns out I am in dire need of a male friend. Somepony who shares the same gender and common interests. And I thought, 'Hey, how about Macintosh? He seems pretty cool.'"

"Uh...Well, ah appreciate tha' offer, and ah'm sure we can...hang out sometime, but ah've got chores to do."

Discord snapped his fingers, and the plow started working faster than Big Macintosh could ever pull it.

He watched in disbelief as the whole field was plowed in under 30 seconds. Then, a cloud came and rained down seeds on the freshly plowed soil. Then, a great earthquake closed up the ground around it, followed by a good rain of water to top it off.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"H...how..."

"So, what do guy friends...do?"

"Ah'm not entirely sure mahself. Ah've spent most of mah life on this farm."

"Well, this is a dilemma..."

"What if we get another guy friend so it's not as...awkward?"

"Yes! Somepony who knows his way around this guy friend business!"

"Yeah, and if there's two of us walkin' around, they're gonna think somethin' is...up."

"Well, we wouldn't want them thinking that. Now, tell me, who are the other males in Ponyville?"

"Well, there's...no...or maybe...no...Oh, there's Miss Twilight's assistant. Ah think his name's Spike, but ah'm not sure."

"Ah, yes, Spike, the adorable baby dragon. You sure he's man enough to be in our group?"

"Well, ah've seen him breathe fire."

"Ooh, cool. He is definitely in."

"Ah guess we'd better...wrangle him up."

Big Mac headed towards the gate, but Discord grabbed him and held him close.

Then, he snapped his fingers, and they were teleported to outside Twilight's library.

Big Mac knocked on the door with his powerful front hoof. A sleepy baby dragon was soon there to answer it.

"Yeah, what? Oh, hey Big Mac. Who's the tall dude?"

"Well, uh, this is Discord. He's been wantin' to-"

"D-D-D-DISCORD?!"

Spike tried to run away, but Discord levitated him with his magic.

"Spike, I thought you, of all people, would've known that I've been reformed."

"Wha...? Oh, yeah, I completely forgot. It's just that when you say the name 'Discord', fear immediately strikes in your heart. It's like an instinct."

"So, Spike, what do you say? How would you like to be my second guy friend?"

"Uh...sure, dude. Since you've changed, I don't see any harm in it."

"Yeah, we dragons gotta stick together."

"You're not a dragon."

"I'm 10% dragon...on my mother's side."

He looked at his two new friends.

"Something still isn't right...I know what it is! We need a fourth! Quickly! Who's another colt that we can trust?"

"Well...there's Twilight's brother. But I don't think he can-"

Another snap brought Shining Armor out of thin air.

"What the...? This isn't Canterlot."

Discord's menacing face loomed over him.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

He shot multiple magic beams at him, but the draconequs reflected them all with his paws, much like Darth Vader.

"I won't let you take the kingdom, Discord! I won't let you-"

"Easy there, Axl. Don't you remember? I've changed."

"Ohh...dang it! I'm really sorry, Discord, I forgot."

"It was all over the news."

"Well, recently, the guards and I have been more concerned with Princess Luna's runaway banana boat. It's actually a really good story. A little big, but funny."

Cut to Princess Luna steering her boat down the Amazon with four renegade women beside her.

"Well, Shining Armor, how would you like to be my guy friend?"

"I'm still not sure...Are you absolutely positive that you've changed?"

"Absolutely positively."

"Would you be willing to take a...lie detector test?"

He poofed himself up a chair and a lie detector test.

"Go on, ask me."

"Uh...Have you completely reformed?"

"Yes."

The green light came back positive.

"Wait, does positive mean that he's positive for lying or...?"

"It means that I've passed."

"Well...can't argue with that..."

"Oh, this is so great! I've finally got my own group! This is so exciting!"

"Well...what now?" Big Mac asked.

"Uh...guess we should...hit the local pub?"

"It's daytime," Spike pointed out.

"Well, what do guys do in the daytime?"

"They're...with their wives?" Shining Armor said.

"Oh, that reminds me, Shining Armor, you're the lame married guy of the group, so you need to fill that role."

"Ooh, I know what guys do during the daytime!"

"What is it, Spike?"

"He's the young, naiive one," Discord whispered to Shining Armor.

"How about a game of cards? That's always entertaining."

The four were sitting in Twilight's house, silently looking over their cards.

"Um..." Discord broke the silence. "No rule that says we can't reminisce or talk about current events and play cards at the same time, right?"

"No," his friends answered.

"Okay, great...Hey, you guys know Fluttershy, right?"

"Yeah," they answered simultaneously.

"Well, since I've reformed, we've been kind of...dating. And last night, she was okay with it, so I..."

Everypony and dragon put down their cards and stared at him.

"You didn't."

"I sure did."

"Technically, I was the first to lose my virginity," said Shining Armor. "On my honeymoon night. Unless Big Mac here has..."

"Nope."

"Hey, this is, like, a huge deal! You might have gotten her pregnant, or something!" Spike yelled.

Discord's face broke out in fear, and he started to sweat. He never even thought about that.

"Pregnant...?" he asked in a small voice.

"Eeyup, like Granny Smith used tah say, 'Unprotected sexual intercourse always leads tah pregnancy.'"

"Her belly will get all swollen..." Spike continued.

"No."

"She'll have mood swings..." said Shining Armor.

"No!"

"And you'll have tah raise them draconequs/pony babies fer 18 years."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Discord's scream of anguish could be heard all the way from where the six friends were gathered at Rarity's boutique.

"I say, what was that?" asked Rarity.

"Sorry, guys, that was my tummy. I'm starving!"

"Pinkie's right. This is so boring!" Rainbow Dash complained.

Fluttershy's measurements were being taken by Rarity.

"Um...guys? Have you ever had somepony that you...liked?"

Silence came from her friends.

"You know...as a...coltfriend?"

"I have had several suitors, but they weren't good enough for me, so I turned them down," bragged Rarity.

"Coltfriends are overrated," Rainbow Dash said.

"Ah'm with ya'," agreed Applejack.

"Well...I don't mean this as an intrusive question, but...have any of you ever...taken it to the next level? Like...second base."

"I didn't know Fluttershy played baseball! GO FOR THE HOME RUN, FLUTTERSHY!"

"No, Pinkie, she means if you've ever...got to know...another pony," Twilight explained.

"Well, I know lots of ponies!"

"YOU DID?!" all of her friends exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm friends with all the ponies in Ponyville! You guys are my best friends, but-"

"No, Pinkie, she means-Oh, forget it."

"So, um...have you?"

"No," all of her friends answered. That didn't make her feel much better about her actions with Discord.