Pinkie Pie switched the video camera on and panned around the room.

"Is this thing on? Okay. Hello, viewer! We are here at Fluttershy's house. We're, uh, painting the baby's room. In case you didn't know, Fluttershy's kind of expecting a baby any day now. Oh, there she is! Right over there! Say 'Hi' to the camera, mommy!"

She smiled and waved in her rocking chair.

"Hehe, okay! And here we have, uh, Dashie. What you doin', Dash?"

"Painting this room while you're just running around with a video camera."

"Memories are important, Rainbow Dash! Who knows? I might capture the Loch Ness Monster on this thing!"

"Whatever."

She rolled a coat of paint onto the wall. They were painting it a neutral color (white), due to not knowing the gender of the baby.

Twilight levitated a brush and used it to make precise strokes where the edge of the doorframe was.

"Wait a minute, you guys! The smell of paint can be harmful to the baby!"

Pinkie quickly pushed Fluttershy out of the door in her chair.

"Whew, that was close! But, uh, moving on. Daddy couldn't be in the picture today cause he's off at work to make some money. But somepony's here who's even more helpful. Applejack! Say 'Hey', Applejack!"

She muffled 'Howdy' through holding a brush in her mouth.

"So...we're painting, and it's not really that interesting. But I have to keep filming. For the sake of memories!"

"Um...guys?" Fluttershy whispered from the hallway.

"You know, I do love that Fluttershy's baby is all prepared to go into this world," said Rarity.

"Um...excuse me, guys?"

"More prepared than I was. Especially with my present. (S)he might get asked to join the Wonderbolts at-" Rainbow Dash boasted.

"GUYS!"

"Gross, Fluttershy! You could've asked one of us to walk you to the bathroom!" Rainbow Dash complained as wet stuff filled the floor.

"No, guys, I-I think my water just broke!"

They all gasped.

"Go, go, go, go, go!"

They all ran with Fluttershy out of the cottage. Rarity slipped in a puddle of it, but since it was an emergency, she wiped it off and kept running.

Pinkie was just standing there with the camera, confused.

"Water can't break. It's a liquid. Maybe if you turn it into ice first..."

"No, Pinkie, it means she's having the baby!" yelled Twilight after her.

"Oh! ALRIGHT! IT'S FINALLY HERE!"

She bounced out the door and with her friends.

"The hospital's got to be two miles away! Rainbow Dash, can you carry her?" asked Twilight.

"Can I carry her? I can lift up to two hundred-AGH!"

She tried lifting her, but nearly threw out her back while doing so.

"AAH! No offense, Fluttershy, but...you're really fat!"

She got up and recovered from her injury.

"Better go with that teleportation spell, Twilight."

"I can't, it's too risky. Somepony might lose a limb, or we might lose the baby.

"No, please don't risk that!" said Fluttershy in the break of a contraction.

"Ya' know, ah was born at home. Maybe we can-"

"No, Applejack! I don't think Fluttershy could stand that much pain."

"Well, we've got to find some way!" complained Rainbow Dash.

At that moment, Big Mac pulled up, hauling a carriage behind him.

"Huh? Who would've thought?" Rainbow Dash said.

"So, you girls need a lift?"

"Yes! Very much so!"

They all got in with her, and they sped down the road.

Big Mac was hauling as fast as the massive weight in the carriage allowed him to. Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof impatiently.

"Pick up the pace, farm boy!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"Ya' ever tried carryin' five ponies and a pregnant one? It ain't easy!"

"That's it. Move over."

She put on a spare harness, then attached herself to the carriage.

"I'm no egghead, but I do know that more force and less weight equals a mean green bean machine! We'll be-"

"JUST GO!" they all yelled.

They started down the road, a little faster this time around. Meanwhile, the others were comforting Fluttershy as she tried to hold it in the best she could.

"It's gonna be okay, Fluttershy. We're gonna get you to the hospital, and you're gonna have your baby," assured Twilight.

"Ooh, I know! Maybe if you think abut something else, it'll take your mind off having the baby! It works for me whenever I have a tummyache."

"Pinkie, I really don't think that will-"

"Now hold on, Twilight. Ah thinks she's onto something."

She bent down next to her struggling friend.

"Okay, Fluttershy, imagine...the forest."

Her breathing slowed a little as she closed her eyes and thought about it.

"The squirrels scampering across the dirt path, and the canopies in the trees letting in little beams of light shining down on your mane, illuminating the delicate features of your face and this natural wonder around you."

"Mmm, that does happen often."

The others were quite impressed of Pinkie's sudden way with words.

"And those squirrels will have babies of their own, and then they'll make new squirrels, and they'll have babies too, and-"

"PINKIE, NO!" they all shouted.

The contractions started up again as Fluttershy's train of thought led her back to birth.

"Pinkie!" Twilight scolded.

"Sorry. Uh...let's see, I can fix this, I've just got to-WILL YOU HURRY UP?!"

She got to the front of the carriage and sat in the empty driver's seat. In a state of panic, she grabbed a riding whip and used it against Rainbow Dash.

"Hi-yah!"

"OW! What the hay, Pinkie?!"

"Sorry, we need to go faster!"

"How is whipping me gonna-OW!"

Pinkie's whip struck her face this time around.

"My eye! My good eye!"

"Oh, sorry, Rainbow Dash! I was aiming for your back!"

"WHAT THE HAY?!"

"I'm so sorry. I don't even know where this whip came from."

Tears and blood were leaking out of her black eye now.

"It's fine, Pinkie. Just...let me drive, okay?"

"Okay."

She went back to the others.

"Well?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah, we might have two ponies that have to go to the hospital now."

"AGH!" they all groaned.

Fluttershy continued to struggle to hold her baby in.

"Hey, Fluttershy, you know what I'd do whenever I was upset or in pain?" Twilight said.

"What?" replied Fluttershy.

"I'd just sing this little song. It's quite fun, actually. And I still remember all the lyrics."

She cleared her throat and began to sing.

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium

And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium

And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium

And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium

Everypony stared at her with blank expressions on their faces.

Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium

And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium

And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium

And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium-

"STOP!" pleaded Rainbow Dash. "STOP!"

"We're here!" announced Big Mac.

Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack helped Fluttershy to get into the hospital.

"Wait," she halted.

They helped her over to Big Mac.

"Thank you so much."

She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and light blush marks appeared under his solid red coat.

They started toward the hospital door, but Pinkie stayed behind to help Rainbow Dash.

"Don't worry, Dashie. We'll have this fixed up in no time!"

"H-h-how does it look?"

"It doesn't look too ba-YEE!"

Her eye was so bad that I can't even describe it in one paragraph, so I'm just gonna use three words: black, blue, and red.

"Uh...don't worry, I can fix this. With my handy dandy...eyepatch collection!"

She pulled out a box filled with nothing but eyepatches.

"You collect eyepatches?"

"Yeah! I keep eyepatches hidden all over Equestria in case of an emergency!"

She took the eyepatch and snapped it onto Rainbow Dash's black eye.

"I-I would suggest going to a real doctor after this, just to be on the safe side-"

"Yeah, I got a check-up next week. Maybe I can squeeze that in."

They walked into the hospital together and found their friends arguing with the nurse at the counter.

"What do ya' mean she don't have insurance?!" Applejack yelled.

"I mean, she doesn't have insurance."

"That's crazy! Tell 'er, Fluttershy! You got insurance, right?!"

"Well, actually...I don't."

"WHAT?!" everypony yelled.

"I tried filling out a form one time, but it was so confusing."

"FOR CELESTIA'S SAKES, FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Well, if you don't have insurance, then you're going to have to wait in line for the free clinic."

The line to the free clinic stretched all the way out the back door of the hospital and into the alleyway.

"We ain't doin' that! We'll pay for it ourselves first! How much is it?"

"It's 43,000 bits."

She looked at the others, and they all shrugged.

"Well...okay. Let's go, y'all."

They impatiently waited in line for a few minutes, Fluttershy's contractions only getting worse. Eventually, Twilight decided to try some negotiation.

"Excuse me, ma'am, how long have you been in line?"

"Six, seven hour," said the woman in a black ghetto voice. "Mah elbow feel funny."

"Well, can we please cut in front of you? This woman is in labor."

"Naw, mah elbow feel funny!"

The others tried as best they could to console Fluttershy, but Rarity couldn't stand to see her friend suffer anymore.

"That's it!"

She stomped back over to the regular hospital.

"Wait, Rarity! We'll lose our place in line!"

They pursued after her, and she presented her proof of insurance before the nurse.

"She can have my insurance!"

"Wow. Rarity, can you even do that?" asked Twilight.

"As long as it gets paid for," said the nurse.

"Um...how much do you estimate the deductible to be?"

"Well, with my experience...about 1,500 bits."

"Oh, I can't afford that."

"Then she can have my insurance!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"And mine," said Applejack, laying hers on the table.

"And mine," said Twilight.

"And mine!" said Pinkie.

"Pinkie, you have insurance?" Twilight inquired.

"Well, duh! With all the dangerous stuff I get into, it'd be crazy not to have insurance!"

They wheeled Fluttershy into the hallway and into the ER. She only had time to mouth a small 'thank you' before she disappeared down the hallway.

"Well...what now?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Now, we wait," Twilight answered.

They waited in the waiting room for what seemed like eternity, hoping and praying for their friend to get through this okay.

Pinkie, in her boredom, picked up a small plastic replica of an intestine and used it as a trumpet. A bellowing sound erupted through the hospital as she blew into it.

"Pinkie, no! You have no idea where that's been!" Twilight warned.

Rainbow Dash sighed and propped her legs up on an empty chair.

"I think I'm gonna call that rat Discord. He should be here."

She opened her phone and looked at the signal.

"Dang it! No bars!"

"I have one bar," said Twilight.

"Well, you can just do everything, can't you?"

She dialed Discord's number and waited for him to respond to her call.

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

The Funeral March song played as Twilight's ringtone, and Discord answered it.

"Make this quick, Twilight, I'm at work."

"Well, Discord. Um...you might have to leave."

"What? Why?"

"It's...kind of an emergency. You see, um...I don't know how to break this to you so suddenly, but-"

"YOUR WIFE'S HAVING YOUR BABY, YA' NUMBNUTS!"

"Rainbow!"

Discord, in a state of shock, stood still for a moment, wide-eyed at the news. He dropped his phone and ran for his bike outside.

"Hey, Discord! We've got customers waitin'!" his boss shouted.

"Sorry, boss! My wife's in labor!"

"Grr, YOU'RE FIRED!"

"Don't care!" he shouted as he pedaled away.

He maneuvered his way through the heavy rush hour traffic of Ponyville, zipping through carriages and fruit stands to get to his destination.

Before he could cross the train tracks, the infamous red and white bar stopped him, and he had to wait for the circus train to pass. One of the exhibits of that circus just happened to be the Equestria's Longest Train, measuring at 4.8 miles long.

Discord banged his head against the handlebars repeatedly and screamed in frustration.

Back at the hospital, Nurse Redheart stepped out and met with the ponies.

"Hey, girls. How was your morning?"

"Exhausting," they all responded.

"Okay, okay. Uhh, any one of you ladies wanna come in and coach Fluttershy through birth? Since daddy's not here and the baby's gonna be here any minute..."

"Not it!" Pinkie yelled.

"Naw," said Applejack.

"Not it!" Twilight shouted.

"I can't stand the sight of blood!" stated Rarity.

Rainbow looked around and saw that she was the only one who didn't say 'Not it'.

"Aw, you guys are a bunch of pansies. I can do this."

She stepped into the hallway with Nurse Redheart.

"Are you sure you can handle this, dear?"

"Oh, yeah. Fluttershy and I go way back. Way back. So I can coach her through childbirth."

"That's very sweet of you. Um, would you mind putting these on first?"

She put on some scrubs that the nurse handed her and headed into Fluttershy's room.

She was in her hospital bed, looking up at the TV on the far wall. A blur of multicolor distracted her view from the screen, and she smiled at her friend when she came and sat down beside her.

"Uh, hey," Rainbow Dash greeted.

"Hey."

They watched the screen for a little while, then Fluttershy looked over and spotted her injury.

"Oh, my, Rainbow Dash, what happened to your eye?"

"It was this whole...thing, it's not important. You think I look cool with the eyepatch?"

"Very."

"Thanks...so, your contractions are gone?"

"Yes, for now."

Nurse Redheart reentered the room with a large needle.

"Okay, Fluttershy, I'm going to give you a little shot. Just-"

"SHOT?!"

She tried to flee from her hospital bed, but her large belly prevented her from sitting up.

"Fluttershy, calm down. It's just a shot," Rainbow Dash reminded her.

"NO! NEEDLES! POKING! SCARY!"

She managed to sit up, but Rainbow Dash held her down.

"Fluttershy, you can either take this shot like a big girl, or I'm gonna have to hold you down like a little girl, and they're gonna inject it. Which one you want?"

"Um...the second one?"

She shrugged and proceeded to tie her hooves to the sides of the bed with some ponytail holders. She struggled quite a bit, but Rainbow was determined to get her the shot.

"NO! NO! NO SHOT! NO SHOT!" she cried.

"Fluttershy, I'm the one who got you to the hospital, so you're gonna do things my way. You are gonna let them give you any shots that they want you to because these egghead doctors know what they're doing! Is that clear?!"

Fluttershy managed to get one of her front hooves free and smacked Rainbow Dash in her other eye.

"AAAAAAH! DEAR CELESTIA, THAT HURT! OH, *****! ***** ******! ********!"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me! I-"

While she was distracted apologizing, Nurse Redheart injected the fluid into her spine. A sharp pain shot up her side, and she let out a high-pitched squeal that turned into a little whimper.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" comforted the caring nurse.

Fluttershy calmed down a bit and realized that it wasn't so bad after all. Even though she didn't know the intended effect of the injection.

"Now, just one more shot, dearie. Just get it out of the way."

She held up an even larger needle that looked like it would hurt a lot more than the first one.

"NO! NO SHOT! NO SHOT!"

Rainbow Dash restrained her free hoof and held her down the best she possibly could.

"Next time, don't tell her you're gonna give her a shot," suggested Rainbow Dash.

"Relax, dear, this is the last shot. No more after this one."

Tears welled up in her eyes as the overhwhelming pain of the needle coursed through her, hitting her in her lower spine this time. Fortunately, that pain only lasted for a second, and Nurse Redheart even added a fun little animal bandage where she jabbed her with the needle.

Silent tears ran down her eyes as she recovered from the pain.

"It's okay, it's okay," she comforted. "Want a lolly?"

Rainbow Dash untied her so she could enjoy her lollipop. The sweet taste of the candy on her tongue made her feel a tiny bit better, but not that much.

"The doctor will be with you in just a minute, honey. You just try to calm down."

"Um, nurse, what did those shots do?"

"Well, the first one is a paralyzer. You won't be able to feel anything from the waist down. Makes childbirth easier."

The numbing started in her pelvis, then moved down to her hooves until she couldn't feel them at all.

"And the second one was just for pain. We want to make it as least difficult as possible for you to bring your little bundle of joy into the world."

She smiled as she licked her lollipop some more.

Bill Cosby: Looks like the girls learned something about childbirth. Stick around, and maybe you'll learn somethin' too. Hey-hey-hey! *throws a basketball offscreen*